Never Trust a Scorpio. Joe Zimmerman - Full Special

[@friendlytaps]

He just sounds like your inner monologue not the angel or the demon but the human voice

[@2beolivia]

Yes, absolutely especially talking to people after a breakup.

[@barbaramullins4233]

Inner self. Our best friend and best voice ever

[@iriskeniafernandez]

This is soooooo mind blowingly true

[@maximaman06]

Oddly enough, I think he sounds like Doug Benson. Voice wise

[@alexandrefreitas2040]

Nice definition.

[@abisheks8511]

Well one woman in the crowd is thoroughly enjoying herself.

[@b.c.9358]

I think she's just close to the crowd mic but I like to imagine she's just sitting there having the laugh of her life

[@sepharaSwift]

He started the gig by telling her he’s single so... she’s really impressed.

[@wosborne5535]

You heard her too??

[@iriedance70]

@@wosborne5535 Who didn't! I think at first she was distracting him, but then she just became part of the show. Funny guy 👍

[@mscir]

LOL same here.

[@cf921]

This guy has a "lost the will to live" vibe, hilarous af

[@lelurve]

he is a scorpio lol theyre born that way

[@justforfungamergirl7402]

Lol mood

[@heatherwagar2898]

I’m a Scorpio and I get it 🤣🤣🤣

[@PCKA1987]

I’m not sure if it’s helping my depression or... 🤔 😂

[@PCKA1987]

Haha yes. Must be a Scorpio thing. 😂

[@Eliza-ig9kz]

"Did I offend you with my friendship" is just me all the time

[@goxcrazii]

I love that one! lol!

[@Danielspremiumhub]

Yes but the are racist to

[@Eliza-ig9kz]

@@Danielspremiumhub Who? Why?

[@MaxXHavokK]

Its fine.. some of us are just (alittle) too friendly....cant be helped.... and just forget I exist if I had more than 4 beers...I'm everyone's friend

[@zaniada]

@@Danielspremiumhub seeking to find hidden racism in everything must be exhausting. Let me find you a chair before I grab the worlds smallest violin.... Just stop with the race baiting and all of the hate. Its time.

[@gankenator]

The lady laughing in the background is such a gem. I love hearing people unafraid to just belly laugh.

[@GodlyVibe_VRgaming]

Right she made all jokes even funnier lol

[@gankenator]

@@GodlyVibe_VRgaming Yeah she did haha. Her laugh made the show for me

[@beth-annrock237]

Her laugh is absolutely infectious 😂

[@gankenator]

@@beth-annrock237 Right!? I love shows like that.

[@caity9244]

So true! Gotta love it. 🤪

[@Cam4Jess]

About a minute in, I feel like the lady laughing in the audience is going to have me laughing at her laughter 😁

[@gegomez]

I laughed so much because of her

[@angelsunite7809]

Pffft she's paid to laugh.

[@sherrelynn5240]

He actually seemed to enjoy and feed off it. She made it better for us all.

[@peachrachel5066]

Yeah, she sounds like my mom laughing. You can always pick out my mom in a crowd.

[@baraka256]

You have to live life like the woman laughing in the audience... to the fullest 🦾

[@dudex765]

I can appreciate that if it wasn’t the main thing my mind is focusing on because it’s... loud

[@baraka256]

@@dudex765 haha... it is full

[@OEMPlus]

thinking that the whole time. that one's a keeper.

[@bow_wow_wow]

It sounded full alright

[@isdowning883]

She having the night of her life 😂

[@MSBLS721]

He needs to find that woman laughing and marry her!

[@Ir0nMa1d3n]

I'm surprised he didn't acknowledge her.

[@Estiallina]

He can’t marry his mom! What kind of sicko are you? 😜

[@MrTPF1]

@@Estiallina LOL!!

[@westphotographyanddesign6559]

He needs to find her and shove a sock in her mouth.

[@CassendreXavier]

I'd be willing to bet she's not his "type." She probably doesn't look like his personal trainer or the women he oggled when he *did* have a girlfriend :)

[@NIHILWR]

"i was reading an study, well an article, well a headline to be honest" bruh xD

[@charanewman1434]

🤣

[@macummings7818]

😀

[@adeho789]

That's what I always do.

[@VioletJoy]

I just love dull, dry humor. He's consistently funny. Loved it.

[@jeeyoona]

Meditation is closing your eyes and worrying about everything. 😂😂😂 Oh no is my mantra 😆😆😆😆😆

[@patscorner7015]

😅😆😂😂😂

[@killerqueen7489]

Laughed all the way through, excelent special

[@touchmeoverlord2767]

omg, was that you in the crowd?

[@kentmurren8932]

@@touchmeoverlord2767 9y0

[@isdowning883]

I think I heard you, glad you had a great night 🙃

[@killerqueen7489]

@@isdowning883 It wasn't me in the crowd ya'll...lol

[@isdowning883]

@@killerqueen7489 wish I could send a gif, I’d hit you with the gnarliest “Yeah right, sure” ever 😂🤣

[@mp2802]

He stands like a pregnant lady, love it

[@maithiliradhakrishnan15]

yeah that slouch and passive gait; he is just too cool

[@CAMBLAB]

@@maithiliradhakrishnan15 o

[@Heather-fz6xe]

Why is this so accurate

[@sirwoodofeast9497]

Pete Holmes does the same thing and made a joke about it.

[@hinatachan3373]

🤨🤨

[@swatisrivastava1059]

Omg that woman is really enjoying She's living her best life 😍

[@SlickArmor]

If this is her best life she's worse off than he is.

[@glgartman]

One of the most talented comedians I've ever seen. He's able to turn his observations of the human condition into amazingly witty and intelligent humor.

[@AuroraAquarius]

Agreed!

[@stephaniegeorge6444]

It's like watching Napoleon Dynamite meets Eeyore.

[@nailsthatstunt3665]

😁

[@bloodrose7587]

Napoleon Dynamite was Napoleon Dynamite meets Eeyore 😂

[@stephaniegeorge6444]

@@bloodrose7587 *giggles

[@living4mylord]

😂

[@brodysmiles4233]

“You can approach anyone who you immediately offer employment to” That went over their heads😂🙆🏽‍♂️ That’s was like a triple entendre 😂

[@andrewoduor3726]

He is so hilarious. And he did it so effortlessly. Amazing, 10 out of 10.

[@vvvintagedarling]

This guy's sense of humor is hilarious!

[@swine13]

Be a pretty poor sense of humour if it wasn't . 🤔

[@mariethirteen8451]

Gabrielle... Right?! Lol 😅

[@jaredgreen760]

Oh my God, the amount of detail he puts into the worst case scenario part of LASIK surgery was pure brilliance..

[@edgarflores5569]

He totally killed! Clockwork timing and relatability. A comedy machine. Hope he gets to the major leagues of comedy. BTW. I have a friend named "Zimmerman" as well, and he also has the exact same vibe. PS. Wouldn't it be awesome it he approached the LOL lady in the audience and say "Please tell me you're not a personal trainer as well..."

[@jenniferrickard7228]

The 'you'll never want to leave your bed'..... "Isn't that called Depression? " line really got me laughing.

[@EvilishDem0nic8732WhatItDo]

Scorpio here and yes we can be heartless but we'll be sad about it later on and apologize

[@GenXfrom75]

my son is also a Scorpio, he turned 17 yesterday. I watch that one! LOL.. but he's a sweetie.

[@alexgrouette7899]

Me too honestly tho

[@Dogen70]

Sounds like something a Scorpio would say to make you think they have empathy

[@DavidLopez-th4lw]

Aka you apologize because it made you feel bad not because you made them feel bad? Bro lmaoo

[@saitamasensei267]

I dont feel bad i may wonder if i went overboard but never bad

[@EBbaby23]

I’m going to try that with my kids- what a great use for them! “Come here! I’m bored, compliment me” can’t wait to see what they say 😂

[@goodcleanfun.with.aubrierose]

😂 What did they say?

[@monkiram]

Please keep us updated

[@blueskyalldayeveryday]

I guess it didn’t go well. Nobody seen this guy since. Ahh the kids these days…

[@FigaroHey]

"Billy, get over here...compliment me." That was my father.

[@wrightcodyj]

Joe Zimmerman is awesome! So glad to see he has a special now on here. Also, that one girl in the audience is ALWAYS having the best of times, love it. 😆

[@franklinwhaley9835]

She ruined a perfectly good show..extremely disturbing woman laughing at nothing🤣🤣🤣😐🤨

[@jakeetschannel2031]

As a Forensics, I absolutely LOVE the 'Where were you and can you prove it' game!! 🙌🏽🤣🤣

[@raerae6422]

🤣🤣🤣

[@deecee7885]

Loved his pauses to let the jokes breathe

[@LukenUSee]

Nicely put!

[@aishukidaisuki]

the jokes, from setup to delivery was so well done 😂love it!

[@Ryfibi]

Imagine giving therapy to this guy

[@Digitizeddragon]

No lol

[@nalanibelvin251]

I'll do you one better- Imagine GETTING therapy from this guy

[@potatowarrior747]

He's hilarious but that'd make me cry

[@-Kal-]

Imagine being this guy’s therapist’s therapist

[@Mateo-et3wl]

You're the best! Not just saying that because I'm a scorpio. This set was golden

[@applepear7006]

This is some of the most enjoyable standup I've ever heard, and I watch/listen to standup multiple times a week!

[@AuroraAquarius]

Same!

[@kerukei1]

Joe is officially one of my new favorite comedians.

[@allisknu11]

He should ask out the woman in the crowd now that he doesn't have girlfriend.

[@trock8930]

I love fresh, unique material. Great delivery!

[@weirdtree8611]

"Did i offend you with my friendship" It's so passive aggressive and i love it

[@aaronmcclure1]

"Why is this baby in my area?" Lol YES!

[@melissas7980]

Never heard of this guy, but loved him and laughed out loud from the start. Then I found that woman with the obnoxious laughter REALLY working my last nerve. And THEN, i paused and read comments. It was amazing to me how many people commented favorably about this woman and her obnoxious laughter. I decided I needed to lighten up. The world needs this. Thanks, y'all. xo

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

His voice, attitude, demeanor, everything 😂 I hope he gets bigger.

[@jakeofalltradesmusic]

"We're looking to find him a forever home... Because he lives forever. He's a demon." 😂

[@jdfodio]

Only joke that made me laugh...and I read it before I heard it.

[@Mamabear1320-h4k]

I'm stealing this line 😂😂

[@maryanne9927]

Hey, remember how you dont like me, how about now?🤣🤣🤣

[@maryanne9927]

Ooh...thanks for the likes.

[@ruthhh.m]

Would the lady with the hearty laugh please come down to the front, you and Joe might be a match made in heaven, idk😂

[@mjones2619]

“Can I prove where I was at yesterday”, definitely a Scorpio trait.

[@WorklLife]

I wish I knew where to see you! This humor is 50% logic and 50% sarcasm. He makes you laugh before and after you figure out what the logical humor part is. Wow!

[@andrewwoodward8563]

Joe Zimmerman is hilarious. This is the first thing I've seen from him in like 5 years, he should be bigger.

[@TheChrismsanchez1]

I'm a Scorpio...sting!

[@andreaseferi8204]

In your @ss

[@Niki-mp8qe]

I'm a libra/scorpio cusp so either 100 honest or 100 dishonest no one will ever know lol

[@zaniada]

@@Niki-mp8qe if you're dishonest for a measurable amount of time you're dishonest. :) If its situational and you only lie when you get in trouble or something- still dishonest. But hey it's okay. People, all people, lie every single day.

[@itsdaeyonglim]

That woman's laugh is priceless

[@user-bo8nb2mi]

Probably his relative

[@margaretmarshall3645]

I apparently have been doing a very inadequate job of answering the “worst that could happen” question all my life! But he did a fine job, lol.

[@averyjoycelynbarakudablock4139]

Second time around and I knew what was coming and I laughed just the same. Actually more. Gawd. I needed this Thank you. This time I got to see more closely the brilliance of his timing in concert with his (apparently) comfortable mien. Just terrific.

[@homodeus8713]

"Wake up, Cold Man." 🤣🤣🤣

[@muddbrinigar]

Shake, shake. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Mistral434]

One of the funniest sets I've seen in a while, he's masterful in many ways

[@bow_wow_wow]

Dude, amazing style, nice, ironic self-deprecation (ironic because you can tell he's comfortable in his own skin and likes himself)... Great humour, was laughing all the way through.

[@vivianamuntean146]

Listened to two Joe Zimmerman videos in a row without looking at the screen, then looked at the comments. First video's comments were about his blinking. Second video's comments were about a lady laughing. Glad I just enjoyed his comedy.

[@b.c.9358]

The game of "where were you yesterday" is much less exciting now. "Where were you yesterday?" "At home."

[@say1716]

That "worst case scenario" joke had me laughing!!

[@Mizosoop]

I am cracking up at work. "We do have one left. It's a Chupacabra." Lmao.

[@ataraxigrace822]

Just googled. Now laughing

[@hdskl2150]

I thought the excessive laughter was annoying at first but then halfway in I’m crying 😂 at every joke 🤗

[@MrTPF1]

It's his delivery that makes everything funnier!

[@thatswhatshesaid6326]

Oh my gosh I thought it was 100% annoying the whole time!!! It sounded completely forced

[@FullCircqle]

It was so staged cuz it was grinding on me....was hoping Joe would stop and kick her out

[@patscorner7015]

@@FullCircqle sometimes ppl try so hard to be happy

[@AzkuulaKtaktu]

Scorpios are the most trustworthy, but the trust must be earned and maintained.

[@beastmaster415]

💯

[@kevindavis872]

👊👏👏👏👏

[@andreaseferi8204]

They are untrustworthy. The most reliable are Capricorn and Taurus with Aries tendencies

[@AzkuulaKtaktu]

@@andreaseferi8204 steadfast doesn't necessarily equate to trustworthy, just as shifty doesn't necessarily equate to untrustworthy

[@teaearlgreyhot2143]

Lol

[@gildaolsen2888]

Such a simplicity in his lines, but with a tremendous punch. 🙏

[@tacotacotington3638]

Very good special, was laughing from start to finish

[@downbntout]

Of all the Dry Bar comics, this guy is my fav

[@Estiallina]

Nice of his mom to attend and be the laugh track.

[@codyray867]

Yo this guy is funny.

[@alishashadows9599]

@@codyray867 it’s a joke 🙃

[@MaryOKC]

LOL! 😆 that’s funny...

[@thatswhatshesaid6326]

I thought the same thing 😂

[@mikebond6328]

I figured sister.

[@joseph2ne]

I have burst out into laughter so many times during set- nice job! 😂

[@jennavevestclaire]

OMG naked. Chipotle. Bed and “Do you have New Girl on Hulu??? I died!! LOL Thought I was the only one??

[@richdarksauce]

You really lik this guy ..dont you ! Jennaveve lol

[@lauriemichael7528]

I hope he saw your comments and things worked out well for you!

[@jessicaberry87]

Omg! My stomach HURTS from laughing at that Lasik bit.

[@danielleleclair1125]

Seems nerdy as hell at first then that Scorpio smile, wordplay, eyes and intelligence hit. Enjoy this. As much if not more as that one lady. Also, start saving for socks.

[@adamtheownerofyourpassiona3879]

He was so proud of himself wiping “flipping mattresses”... and rightly so:)

[@danielleleclair1125]

Agreed.

[@mariahdecourcey6785]

The lady laughing is a Scorpio too that's why she likes his jokes so much 😂

[@myfamilymatters]

Wow. Hilarious. Very talented comedian. That wonderful woman in the audience was fun to listen to as well.

[@annedunbar4598]

Joe you made me break out the ugly laugh! Died laughing. You are laugh therapy. Though you couldn’t be a real therapist since it isn’t part of your name. 🤣

[@m.n.d5949]

This guy is hilarious ! And its intelligent humour too! Loved this stuff.

[@jennavevestclaire]

I would totally date you. It’s like you’re just having this normal conversation and then “insert punchline”. But then just look at them blankly leaving them wondering if you were joking or not. And you just blink. Lol That takes a lot of wit. I dig it!

[@prorobo]

I would date you.

[@yoyosworld22]

@@prorobo I would date you

[@prorobo]

Yoyos World let's go on a date then. I travel for free and can come to you.

[@searchparty2087]

Yeah but then he would always be looking at other girls imagining how he would ask them out if he wasn't dating you.

[@ForeverSculpting]

@@searchparty2087 I would date you

[@larrissamorris9054]

This guy is awesome. I laughed the entire time 😂😂😂 time stamp innocent 😇

[@kolourfulneco]

16:43 I can’t stress this enough!! T-T like it would be different if I was talking to strangers but you’re supposed to be my friends dude! I want to talk to you and see what you know. If you don’t know just say “oh I don’t know, you should probably google it.” But they’re like nah man, I’m not telling you” then we argue about it I swear the amount of words they spend defending themselves on why I should google it they could’ve told me. Like uggh. I’m glad someone else gets it!

[@theimmigrantwoman]

He is the best! Voice so peaceful to hear, jokes well paced. No hurrying or shouting. He is the best dry bar comedian for me thus far!!!

[@bluluckyduckie]

Too short!! He’s hilarious!! Keep him coming!!

[@alistairt7544]

I love that woman's laugh, it's so full and hearty 😂

[@kelleythorrington4820]

Joe, you are phenomenal!!! Thank you for the laughs! Loved this xx

[@philipjordan6789]

Great show joe.....the laughing lady was great to😂😂

[@simplyredislandgirl]

Hilarious!👏😁 All the Scorpios in house, say yay!🙌 You can trust some of us, we aren't all tricky!👍💪 Some of us are really honest & loving people when u get to know us deeply!😇😊

[@umarnolen3616]

Key word, deeply

[@waynewhite2766]

Yay..

[@youcrazycat1]

Yup

[@susannairisastarte5192]

True

[@brendanjacobson7048]

The line you finished with was just the cherry on top man I don't know how you come up with this stuff but it's hilarious

[@beththompson2188]

Wow he really thought that Lasik thing through!

[@richardryan7566]

One of the most underrated comedians doing it

[@noliravioli2506]

“Google it” is what my parents say all the time. That’s there way of admitting that they don’t know the definition of what a taco is.

[@stevescuba1978]

My dad told me, before the internet age, "I bought you encyclopedias for a reason".

[@f_USAF-Lt.G]

But tacos are only truly defined by their place in the whole foods diet... You know, those pockets of emptiness that fall out the back end? That may not be "droppin-tacos" but it truly defines the tacos.

[@f_USAF-Lt.G]

@@stevescuba1978 I thanked my dad for my codec set... That scroll was monstrous😳

[@janinemoodley6485]

Love this dude, he's funny af

[@rogersledz6793]

@Dry Bar Comedy Thank you for uploading this delightful video. YOU are providing an ESSENTIAL SERVICE for all socially responsible people who chose to minimize their non-essential direct personal contacts, even though it is no longer mandatory. These shows help KEEP US SANE. God bless, be strong and remain hopeful. Roger J. Sledz, Staten Island ( NYC ) 10/3/2020 👍☺️🇺🇸🗽

[@marythompson7874]

Joe's a natural comedian! He's a brilliant comedy writer! Joe ought to be invited to do stand-up performances on all of the biggest late-night variety shows, such as "The Tonight Show" with Jimmy Fallon and "The Late Show" with Stephen Colbert. I also think that Joe ought to compile all of his acts into comedy books, divided into many short chapters of about a page or two for each topic; he could get those published by a major publisher, similar to Erma Bombeck's books.

[@397jollyroger]

Thanks for posting! Joe is very funny, really lightens it up!

[@orcaoracle]

Absolutely hilarious! The laser eyes worse case scenario had me beside myself! My new favourite comedian Joe Zimmerman!! Yeeehaaaa!

[@QuidamByMoonlight]

Wow, the audience participation bit at the end was perfect! Felt like a comedy magic trick. He must’ve prepared a lot for that joke!

[@sharonspencer2312]

Who counted the sand? !!!

[@pepguardiola5878]

Be honest we all want to see the lady who laughed soo hard in the audience 🤣

[@leslievey8453]

She's a paid " laugher " .

[@living4mylord]

An obnoxious one sadly. Most fit in and raise the level of the audience. This one was loud and more every time. An interruption from my POV as opposed to part of the entertainment and laugh drive.

[@GoodJuju.8D]

Hilarious set. Love his voice too.

[@CatsArePeopleToo]

I love the jury logic, it's so true.😄

[@heykaleah]

the demon joke was funnier than he got credit for lololol

[@JTuaim]

I'm a gemini, I'm never sure which one of me I can trust.

[@somedude2492]

That sounds more like psycology than it does astrology...

[@ajm0824]

Juan Sambucetti fudgggyu

[@ajm0824]

Ggtggtgg

[@allgamingnetwork9448]

can relate xD

[@Infinite8blue]

They say gemini are two face, but I don't believe in astrology

[@Earthy9025]

🌷 My kind of humor. He was great! Thank you 😊

[@BeegirlsHoneyHouse]

What an endearing chap‼️🌎🤓 I really really needed these laughs this evening….😃👍🏽

[@riotsquirrelz]

"Do you want cookies...or should I google that..." lmaoooo

[@DrSebby]

Quality stuff! Not many comedians make me want to seek out their other stuff. But this guy will

[@gypsywoman9140]

Better than expected! Actually made me laugh, which not every comedian can do.