Dyslexia's Ongoing Impact in Adulthood - The Most Insightful Explanation

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

I really hope this way of explaining dyslexia will help you as much as it helped me :)

[@simonwelzmiller7275]

I got diagnosed with dyslexia during elementary school and made some therapy which didn't help so much. Got bullied by teachers in secondary school at the age of 10 and told that I'm stupid. Still made it through, though because I had good support and a therapy which helped with self esteem. In the end, I proofed them wrong and got a PhD in Chemistry with highest merits. I still strongly rely on digital spell checkers but getting along.

[@Lotushoney-w7z]

As a fellow dyslexic.. I’m continually in awe of our collective experiences. There are so many stories where thinking differently ..Is all we need to achieve. Dyslexia can be puzzling, funny, and mysteriously rewarding.

[@judithrix-brown8790]

Great video!!! I am 78 obviously dyslexic all my life. As a kid I was extremely sensitive to humiliation which also followed me into adulthood. I had to work extra hard, but I graduated from college but office work required typing .. More humiliation! When computers arrived my work life changed. I had spellcheck!!! I like to think dyslexics have gifts because they see things from different points of view. I discovered late I had a gift for problem solving if id known that sooner my life would have been different and I could have traded on that for self confidence. Now I just have fun with dyslexia.. How words first appear out of context.. Like comic for cosmic..scared for sacred. I fascinate myself!

[@Lotushoney-w7z]

Geez …just had to tell you how much I relate to your dyslexic experience. I had a teacher who recognized my struggle in Grade 11. I received some sort of reading /training that helped me immensely. This was early 1970’s, and because I was most likely not to think it was helping me , because I was “at that age “ …I continued to struggle within the system. I used it, to relate to my own interests, and incredibly, my teachers were on board with it, and advanced me! Our education system needs to change, so that those who are out of the box …advance with the respect they deserve

[@aaronag7876]

This is really interesting and one video I will have to watch a few times. As I need to give this my full attention. As a male in his 50s, I have only found out that I am dyslexic and have ADHD, so started the journey of accepting this and all those years of being called "Thick and stupid" were not true, but uneducated people not understanding these conditions. Primary School in London was hard and harder when sent to boarding school in the 70s and 80s, but adulthood even harder, due to the amount of studies and reading Im expected to do but "procrastinate" or avoid doing them. Im great with hands on, problem solving, investigating how things work, so very practical hands on but I have not passed an exam in my life. My long term memory is outstanding but short term is almost nonexistent. I really wanted to learn Polish, as my wife of 17 years is Polish but I cant speak more than a "hello", "how are you". I just cant recall any of the letters of the alphabet or numbers, if I was studying them an hour or a day ago, but ask me to count to 10 in Welsh, when I picked it up at the age of 13 years old, then I have no problems lol It is hard for us "old folk" lol with dyslexia to learn new things, so we avoid it or divert the attention to something else. Thanks for sharing

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Over the years I have also frequently been returning to this model to understand myselve and others with dyslexia better. And it seems like everytime I do that I get something new out of it. :)

[@kel_sea_9273]

"proving those wrong who doubted you", this was an ode to my youth, and something I still carry with me but am working to foster in a healthier way. I now work with neurodivergent children, although I am new to exploring this realm, I see that there is so much to learn in relation to fostering excitement in their individual abilities, but to teach I must first learn. Thank you for this quality information, I can not wait to explore more of you videos.

[@ashley.g]

Negative emotions coming up with tasks I associate with difficult experiences as a child in school is definitely something I relate to. Even though it was probably a subconscious decision, I also did adopt a negative view of myself in order to avoid disappointment. And I do have that belief that I have to give 120% for what I do to be okay. Its an unrealistic expection that I can give 120% to everything, but it's hard to go against such long held beliefs and fears. But I am definitely seeing the consequences for my overcompensation because I am getting burnt out and fatigued. It's good to know we aren't alone in these experiences. The non-dyslexics that I've tried to explain some of my experience to find it really baffling. I might just send this to one of them because it explains it so well! It's also good to remember that even though it's hard to reevaluate and change these patterns, it is possible to find a new way. Thank you for another really meaningful and informative video!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thank you for writing this. For a lot of people, these things are probably subconscious, but if you realize it then you're already on the right track. Take care of yourself, it's hard to keep going while giving 120%.

[@lianavarnava4407]

Thank you so much for making these videos. I don’t know why I never considered how much my dyslexia has affected my life, my self perception, my constant fatigue, my vulnerable and overwhelming emotional state. I have been taking anti anxiety drugs for 32 years and I feel numb, but I would rather feel like this than face the world with so much raw emotion. I have survived by pushing past my pain and working longer and harder than others to accomplish what I needed to do. My parents knew I had difficulties in school and they helped me study but they still expected me to succeed, there were no excuses allowed so I pushed myself until I finally succeeded. Eventually I discovered my artistic side and this helped me achieve a measure of success that helped me value myself. I think I have pushing ahead so hard that I never took the time to think about how this struggle affected my self esteem. I constantly tell myself that I am stupid and that I have to hide it from others. That other people have more value than me. I have been to counselling many times and I cannot seem to change this core belief. It has affected every aspect of my life, especially my relationships to others. This is something that I can now put in perspective because I have found the missing piece. Thank you for the epiphany.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

I’m so glad to hear that you found this video valuable! It seems like dyslexia is often underestimated, with many people thinking it’s just about having trouble with reading and writing. In reality, it can be so much more than that.

[@seriousfam1341]

The clinical word didn't exist when I was in grade 2. My mother told the teachers: ''she is not repeating her grade 2, she is smarter than her classmates, you just need to know how to work with her because she pieces things together differently, so the nit-picking has to stop! '' I was one of the lucky ones! Now my daughter has dyslexia and before ever seeing this video, I preached similar words my whole life to educate my high school teachers, collage teachers, employers and anyone I had to collaborate with; now advocate for my daughter. Thank you so much for your hard work and the relevancy of your video

[@TwoWheelsAndComputers]

Pretty much resonated with me. No official testing of it and I can read and do english quite well..i mainly scored high in the mechanics of it. Makes me doubt could I be dyslexic. But your videos been helpful and pretty much all on point for me. Thank you.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thanks for sharing

[@shanydror7107]

As always, thank you for giving words to my feelings. Now I understand them. As a kid, I was always told I will need to work twice or three times harder than everyone else just to break even. While I appreciate that is true, I don't think it is stainable. As an adult I am constantly working on the expense of my health and personal life. It is so hard to break free from the constant fear of failure, get free from the mindset that pushes to exhaustion.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You're right that it's not sustainable. By giving 120% all the time I think we might have lost track of what is actually enough.Poeple with a very severe case of dyslexia might have to give 105%, whereas for others maybe 80% is enough. Many of us is acting based on our past experiences and we haven't really checked back in to see what is going on with us now. I think these feelings will continue to come up in adulthood, but it also helps not to identify with the voice in our heads anymore. We can hear it and acknowledge that that's the voice of our dyslexic past just expressing fears and saying hi. May be a good way to come to peace with it.

[@craigmnelson86]

I've always struggled with writing, that's been my biggest weakness but with chat gpt I'm able to have it help me write things. I often take what i would write and have it rephrase things.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

me too! and grammarly now has this function built in--it has made my life so much easier because if I take something that has been reformulated, then i know that it's right

[@kiufordiskhasidis681]

I am an adult who has just come to term with my condition. I have accomplished many things in my life and feel career has a limit based on my condition because of that i reject moving up in my career. It i amazing to me as I learning more about this i may co soncider myself a fighter. I became a drafter and majored in architecture.

[@nanawolf7443]

I’ve had these thoughts floating around in my head for some time now. Didn’t know how to piece it together until this video. Hopefully I can use your insights to reframe the beliefs I have about myself so that I can resolve my negative self perception and cycles of procrastination and perfectionism. Thank you Arije!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You are very welcome!

[@peachsncream5808]

The ongoing AND stupidity of the RANDOM memory problems of the dyslexia combined with the ADD 🤦🏻‍♀️🥵 drives me crazy . problems have been a constant problem - I feel like the stereotypical goldfish . From childhood until today at 55 ….memory 🤦🏻‍♀️ - it was never better or worse - . The strange thing is - I don’t have any problems switching between driving in my home country Australia Driving On the opposite side of the car on the opposite side of the Roads when I’m visiting Europe 🤷 . WHTF is up with that 🤔 . Yet when making posts on social media or reading 🤦🏻‍♀️ . I’ll be typing something out - saying it as I type it out …. I’ll see entire worlds Missing - or I’ll try to type a word - a word I use regularly , Yet in some moments I’ll repeatedly Hit the wrong letters on the keypad 🤦🏻‍♀️ 3 or 4 times 🤯. The word might start with =St And my dammed finger will hit for example =wl 🤯 . Or I may have just used a word during a post a few sentence’s previously and the next minute I can’t spell the same damed word ….and I have to took back up in the post to see how to spell the thing 🤯. This little post probably takes people 5 minutes to do ? It takes me 45 minutes - so frustrating 🥵🥵🤯🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️👉🤦🏻‍♀️..

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Yeah, seems very frustrating and it does also take me a lot longer than I feel it should when I write things. That being said, when I feel like it's just too much, I switch to my phone and simply dictate what I want to say. But know that you're not alone with it

[@RussellGi]

This resonated with me in a timely manner, as I have 3 1/2 hours to start and complete an assignment for my Post Grad class, which I should have completed last weekend. I receive merits for everything, plenty A grades for positive reinforcement, yet I'm still the 'garbage' student I was at school internally. That inner child hurts, but is both fascinating and reassuring to see I'm not the only one with this issue. On a neuroscience basis, am increasingly interested with how the dorsal attention network, is interfered with by the default mode network - but I'm a psychology student, so I'd better get back to that! Thanks Arije 💪

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Hope you are getting the assignment done at some point. I'm sure you are not a garbage student, but accepting that took a while for myself as well. Sometimes I still tend to make my achievements smaller than I should because I have the same inner dialogue from my school years.

[@RussellGi]

Many thanks, it was completed. I also have a couple of exams at the weekend, so intend to spend my time 'productively procrastinating' by re-watching all your brilliant videos this week! @@ArijeAikedeHaas

[@yhurwitz1153]

It does resonate with me in a weird way.I noticed. As i got older that I have an automatic distrust and almost fear towards teachers ,and when I get positive feedback I tend to think that they have not found out the true stupidness that i am hiding with extra work.

[@judithrix-brown8790]

I recommend the book The Gift of Dyslexia.. It changed my life! I finally understood what was happening.. How frustrating it had been..how I was always on the defensive for something not my fault no matter how tried. I made this big picture shift in perspective work for me. We are excellent problem solvers cause we see from many angles at once. Its our poor sense of self fear of humiliation that stop us from creating a life we want. Start there.

[@vitiate111]

34-year firefighter paramedic here. When I got into my career I put in an enormous amount of energy, time and sacrifice to make sure I was the best I could be often out shining my peers. I finally felt feelings of self-worth! Towards the end of my career, I experienced tremendous burnout unable to put in so much mental effort and concentration doing poorly on the job. I had to retire early leaving the job feeling great shame, depression and lack of self-worth.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Among my dyslexic coaching clients, unrelenting standards are one of the most common challenges I see. What you're describing definitely resonates, and you're certainly not alone in this. After our school experiences, many of us end up feeling like failures, which can lead to a coping style known as overcompensation. This often involves placing immense pressure on yourself, which can eventually lead to burnout. You are certainly not the only one facing this.

[@FizzyMcPhysics]

Thank you so much for talking about this! I had a lot of help with literacy to get me through school, and then it disappeared. I think because it's classed as a Learning DIfficulty, it's assumed that you struggle with school, but with help you should be a function normal adult by graduation, but new jobs, especially first jobs, are also learning environments, and a lot of support is needed. Mainly, extra time for training , and progress checks for me. But I didn't know that, and no one told me what I needed to ask for in work places, or the advice all seemed really vauge.

[@DavidJVMusic]

Augh! Yes, all that, since way back and even now... Has anything helped? No, I'm done killing myself to do anything that agrivate(sp)s the neurodiverse brain. I'm pretty sure this is a big part of my constant mental exhaustion. Thanks for sharing Arije!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You're very welcome!

[@XXgoblinmonkeyXX]

this is on point. i do feel like i carry the weight of the world.

[@ElsaBerset]

That's really helpful indeed! I knew I had to work on reducing my perfectionist tendencies and on my self-esteem before I figured I must be dyslexic too. Now these things kind of make sense as a whole package and I can see how it stem from the difficulties I had in childhood. Thanks for your work :)

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You are very welcome

[@Roadrash1369]

Thank you it was very insightful. Diagnosed at 29 it was the first time I was ableto get support for learning.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Glad it was helpful!

[@judithegli1345]

I was diagnosed with dyslexia in primary school, I am now a teacher in my late 30's and coincidentally I am also Australian. From my experience with dyslexia and students in general I consider these feelings you describe resonate in people with dyslexia however adolescence isn't an easy time for anyone. The tests you talk of use a group of dyslexic people but how could you possibly choose a control group to determine this does not happen to people without dyslexia. I have watched your videos on your experiences in school and I am sorry that this has happened to you and many other people. In my opinion the biggest change in education since I (and you) was at school is that education and the curriculum is built around the individual rather than asking the individual to conform to the curriculum level outlined by their age. This shift to an individuals learning journey is in theory a great idea but has lead to its own issues and we will have to wait to see the outcomes and feelings that resinate for this generation. I am in no way saying that assisting people with dyslexia shouldn't be of importance I just think a lot of people have difficulties and it is more important to find ways to fit into our environment as a way to grow and prosper.

[@elwynelvy]

I had never heard of dyslexia until i was 25. Which was back in the mid 90's. But then I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that information. I just had to keep muddling through life. And being left behind. Looking for work with your self-esteem dragging behind you and your family, telling you to 'just get over it and try harder...' Yeah, fun times.

[@marichkakropatnytska9910]

Very familiar to me. Thanks for sharing this information and helping in understanding of what is happening.

[@nicklm99]

spot on, thanks

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You're very welcome

[@varsha32]

This video is getting me tear up.

[@hannahteddyschachter7407]

Another great video Arije. Thank you for sharing this ❤

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thanks for watching! I hope you get something out of it

[@goby1000]

I Know the problems really well as i have dyslexia myself. I am now 50 years old and 10. october i will i be 51. I have started school this year cos i want to go to the University to study Astrophysics. Only that the Theoretical part and the tasks of the school is making everything hard for me. I cant understand what i am reading and have to read it many times. Analysing a text is way over my head when i have to write it. I have it in my head but cant manage to get it on paper. My teachers only say one thing and that is "you have to". Its like they cant manage to understand what we dyslectics have problems with. I do extremally good in visual learning. But all the reading i have have to do in school is like banging my head against the wall over and over again.

[@thelegendofsam5231]

My work is currently trying to get rid of me due to my dyslexic because they cantbe bothered to support me, this is EXCACTLY what i feel but cant communicate to others

[@SemeinieStranizi1932]

Oh his, I am not diagnosed, but this video describes my childhood! I have issue with reading all my live!!!

[@SemeinieStranizi1932]

Is there benefit of having diagnosis as an adult? Already out of school/education…

[@pppp67567]

Thank you.

[@DreamaBradly]

Oh my God, I am 60 years old and all my Lord.You have got wear I wanna listen to you and I am❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊

[@PlanetImo]

Oh yeah - definitely resonated!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Glad to hear!

[@jonnybrandin1362]

I related to everything you said. And I feel seen 😊

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

That is great to hear. I felt a similar way when I found this theory and had to share :)

[@craigmerkey8518]

I l ways look forward to your videos!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thank you and I'm sorry that it took me a while to get back to it this time. I live in Jerusalem and even though I wanted to do a lot for dyslexia awareness month, the war broke out here and everything kind of went sideways..I'm hoping to upload more regularly soon

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

I'll have to think about this stuff. Lots of food for thought here.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Yeah, I've been mulling this over for years and sometimes I still go back and forth on these things. Also remember that we dyslexics come on a spectrum, so depending where you fall on that spectrum and your individual experiences, this explanation might resonate more or less for you

[@Zcat222]

123 a lot like me not all of it but thank you. I was great helpful.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Glad it helped!

[@Annalorraine2x]

I'm very good at getting the job. I never tell him I have this problem because I'll never get that. I never get a job. They would never by to tell him after I get hired and shortly after I get fired.

[@DreamaBradly]

My personal experience is also no.Everyone's great at my job they understand me

[@juanjones4730]

Childhood shame growing into adulthood with writing cause anxiety

[@shlokgole6861]

Yes it did

[@DreamaBradly]

Yes Aman 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 ❤❤❤😊😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@Chompchompyerded]

I think I need to stop watching these videos. It's making me super depressed

[@LillieJohnson-yc2ke]

❤

[@DreamaBradly]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Rambo51TV]

Please hear or read psycho-cybernetics

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thank you for the tip

[@DissonantSynth]

Typo in title. "Insightful"

[@dhaval1489]

If you found that typo easily your not one of us 😂

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thanks, I fixed it! Sometimes even Grammarly can't help me...

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

😂

[@DissonantSynth]

@@ArijeAikedeHaas no worries 🥴 great video, BTW. I don't have dyslexia myself, but I teach (high school), and some of my students do.

[@stephaniesoma3610]

Damn...

[@fjb420]

Never been able to read a book. Oops