E12: How Can the Unfaithful Stop Draining the Betrayed's Energy?

[@bittehiereinfugen7723]

Yup, I recognize my UH (and partly myself). Since he continues to lie to himself and revolve around himself, I'm out of the game now. I realized for myself that I would never enter into a new relationship with someone who is the way he has become. So why should I continue the relationship with him? He's still not ready for the really hard work, so I'm happy for him to continue his relationship with his problem. I've stood at the back long enough and allowed myself to be lulled with crumbs and declarations of intent. I'm finally starting to remember who I really am. And that I have value. Thank you so much for your valuable work and support!

[@acerpalmatum6446]

Thank you for this comment. It helps me

[@timothysturgess5985]

Dude, the self awareness and the accountability you expressed, the strength, vulnerability and self acceptance AND self compassion that was delivered by means of tough love, just changed my belief that it is possible for the unfaithful to actually reach a point of authentic understanding of what they have done, and what they have done to others. Thank you so much.

[@AskTheUnfaithful]

messages like that encourage us so much. I'm so thankful for the comment and taking the time to share those thoughts. Thanks so much.

[@WarriorBrideBattleCry]

That was probably the most profound monologuing I've ever heard! I don't know if you are a man of faith , James, but that was as if the Holy Spirit was straight up convicting you in that moment of time. That was truly enlightening

[@kljfaith]

This was fantastic and explains the self absorption 100%! Why does it take them so long?!

[@davidryan4348]

Great road map to the other side of connection thank you

[@teeryan19]

Just listened to this now Yes yes yes and timely thank you both

[@Restore108]

Wow James! This letter is my husband.

[@vincewilliams7572]

OMG the first part of this is my husband and I. I used to be called pollyanna once gone I broke he went to another women there were other issues but now doesn't feel the same about me bur he is a large part of why the hypervigilance bitterness exhaustion is due to his continued infinity and not putting my feelings first.. I have to get him so angry before any work is done by the betrayer... and he says he is tired....

[@mariaalejandraramones1032]

Wow. Please share that letter. My husband needs to read that later!!!