#E38

In this episode, we explore the dynamics of marriage, emphasizing the importance of communication, understanding, and spiritual guidance. Our conversation highlights the necessity of daily commitment and the power of acknowledging one's own issues to foster a stronger relationship. We discuss how historical conditioning and subconscious triggers can affect marital interactions and emphasize the role of faith in navigating these challenges. Join us as we share personal stories, biblical insights, and practical advice on sustaining a loving and resilient marriage.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Intro
PODCAST LINKS:
Apple: podcasts.apple...
Google: bit.ly/3WqVuOO
Spotify: open.spotify.c...
CONNECT WITH US:
X (Formerly Twitter):
Felix Kitaka- / themutambuze
Rukh-Shana Kitaka - / rukhshana
Instagram:
/ themutambuze
/ rukhshana01
ABOUT US:
Rukh-Shana Kitaka has excelled in two careers: as a corporate communications specialist and a celebrated media personality. She received numerous awards as a prime-time news anchor, including the "Best Female TV News Anchor Award."
Felix Kitaka is a self-taught software engineer who dropped out of university in 2009 at nineteen, determined to show the world that one could succeed without a university degree. In 2021, he was hired as a Senior Software Engineer for a San Francisco-based tech company, proving that there are alternative paths to success.
Married in 2021, we now share insights on our podcast 'The Kitakas' and in our book 'The Woman’s Bait.' Based on Christian values, our content seeks to inspire hope in healthy, thriving, purpose-driven marriages.

[@sunshineheaven1802]

I am now thinking about dying daily to food addiction and procrastination. So much strength is needed. Choices choices choices. Can't do life without God at every level and in everything.

[@joanitahmukisa8514]

you should also need to look into whether you have got AdHD sorry

[@paskaziatumwesigye1534]

I am working on coffee addiction as well; some how fasting helps...during my fasts the overwhelming appetite for coffee disappears

[@kagimurebeccab5854]

I love listening to people who attribute everything back to God

[@SweettoothMarie77]

Bringing in other guests is a complete game changer! Keep going guys....keep going!👏

[@bridge9350]

Many precious nuggets to take away, I can tell that you are genuinely invested in making your marriages work and that makes me so happy. On the issue of dishes, I think what Mr. Kitaka said about how he feels sorry for men who do dishes is not necessarily in line with what we see demonstrated by Jesus on servant leadership. Jesus washed his disciples' feet, which was an act of servanthood in those days. He then went on to say, John 13 vs 14-17, "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Brethren, there is no task too demeaning when it comes to loving and caring for each other. I know family dynamics differ and the split of household chores varies with each home but I just wanted to point that out. If you are a man out there who helps your lady with dishes, it's okay, it does not pose a threat to your masculinity because Christ, the ultimate expression of masculinity was not afraid to take on tasks that were deemed only fit for the lowly. On the issue Ben raised on who gets the engine started on love and respect, I would like to bring the image we aspire to and that is the image of Christ and the church. Romans 5:8-9 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." In this instance it shows how Christ got the engine going for his bride, he pulled out the first invitation card when we were dead in our sins. If we are to follow this example it suggests that ideally, the husband needs to take the first step in demonstrating love but the truth is we are mere humans with incredible flaws and we can never truly live up to this image so we should both take turns in starting the engine whenever marriage gets hard as shown in scripture, Romans 12:10 "Be tenderly devoted to one another in brotherly love; outdo one another in giving honor." That's all I had to say, my apologies for the long essay, I just wanted to contribute to the conversation.

[@thekitakas]

The issue of dishes is a personal one, and it’s debatable. You have to realise that theory and practice aren’t always aligned. It’s easy to say love your wife when you haven’t been tested. It’s easy to say, respect your husband when you haven’t been tested. I hope that with the Kitakas podcast, more guests will show us how they’ve applied the theories in their marriages and succeeded. That way, their successes will be our learnings. Otherwise theory is easy, practice is the hard part. - Felix

[@thekitakas]

If you also have a good testimony of marriage, please reach out, we would love to learn from your experience too. 🙏

[@bridge9350]

@@thekitakas Thank you for the response. True, households do run differently and it is a personal issue. My husband and I live abroad and we both work full-time and have no kids yet. Even though I am responsible for a lot of the home chores, he also helps where he can ie washing dishes, sweeping etc. It is the only way we can function as hiring help here is expensive and both of us need to earn an income. Fortunately, he does not have any issue with that. My point was that ideally, there should be no task that is beneath anyone or warrants people to feel sorry for you. With that said I know some of the most loving and honourable men including my own father who just wouldn't do dishes or house chores, so yes, cultural context does matter too.

[@thekitakas]

Well said.

[@jdm3762]

Wow! What a wholesome comment! Firm in the ideas you are challenging yet so gracious and wise in your choice of words. Your husband is blessed, and I'll bet, a well respected man!

[@sarahnakame1820]

This was really beautiful. May the Lord continue to use the Kitakas in ways beyond comprehension!

[@namubirujoan2015]

Best podcast I’ve watched ever on marriage by African men. They were very neutral without siding with their gender. I love love!!!

[@thekitakas]

Thank you for the feedback Joan. -RK

[@bridgetndyamuhaki8873]

Thanks for inviting Mwine.

[@JK-nn3ct]

Mr. Kitaka is full of wisdom.wow. This conversion is nourishing my marriage. Thanks Ben.Thank u Kitakas.

[@atuhairejudith8834]

Next episode Mr.Mwine please come with your wife

[@sylvianamwebya2096]

P😮😅

[@paskaziatumwesigye1534]

Yea. Rach’s fans all the way from Bump love

[@emteekay8418]

Wow! Wow! Wow! The best 2hr investment I did today. Learnt to be more open-minded & considerate of my life partner and one of my resolutions is to NEVER raise my voice at my daughter, partner and future children. So help me God.

[@AllenNdoli]

The Kitaka's × The Mwine's❤❤A match made in Heaven👏🏿👏🏿You Wisdom is appreciated🙏🏾🙏🏾Thank You

[@namiirojose6824]

The wisdom, the insights......woooooow. It's great for one to have Godly people in their corner❤

[@Ladyforchrist]

The best 2 hours I have spent in a long time! Every Christian married couple should watch this. God bless you all and thank you for this episode 🙏.

[@ninsiimajosephine5881]

Awwww ❤, what an episode. The wait was worth it. Thank you for bringing this munyakole man😂😂. I need to gather all banyakole men here so they can learn something from him. Blessings

[@fridahbirungi6883]

Putting GOD at the centre of all this is EPIC.Extremely educative in so many avenues of life. May you all be blessed. 🙏 🙏 🙏 AMEN

[@Rarity-12-02]

Thank you The KItakas for always sharing your opinions with us...though confused about a thing that was said in this podcast where Mwine talks about women wanting to be loved in a certain way that men might not understand, calling for the man's flexibility...so whats wrong with helping your partner with dishes if thats her way of feeling loved....It might not be done out of command,but just assisting around the house..otherwise it takes us to the issue of our fathers who acted like bosses and their wives as slaves..

[@thekitakas]

The issue of dishes is a personal one, and it’s debatable. You have to realise that theory and practice aren’t always aligned. It’s easy to say love your wife when you haven’t been tested. It’s easy to say, respect your husband when you haven’t been tested. I hope that with the Kitakas podcast, more guests will show us how they’ve applied the theories in their marriages and succeeded. That way, their successes will be our learnings. Otherwise theory is easy, practice is the hard part. - Felix

[@amygrace4126]

Wow . I have really enjoyed this podcast so enlightening indeed. So much depth. Thank you the kitakas for bringing Mr Mwine. God bless you 🙏

[@ruthiekuku5865]

Wow!! Ben is a well of wisdom. Spiritually grounded and informed! Kudos our people 💪

[@desirekakyo9618]

My first time watching this podcast but its been real deep truths! I have to listen in again and take notes. Asante

[@thekitakas]

Welcome! Hope you hit the subscribe button so you don’t miss any of the upcoming episodes. -RK

[@cathybt]

what a great conversation, i'm not yet even half way but OMG so much wisdom here.

[@helenbwesigye6075]

Eeeh! Deep stuff here the Kitakas and Ben. Thank you for sharing those insights. Ben, ur so brutally honest, I wonder why we call it brutal? Plant a seed in his mind. The husband has the authority but the wife has the power. You have spelt it out for us so clearly. God bless you bagyenzi for these much needed marriage conversations. God bless your marriages and make them thrive even more.

[@mwebazenancie4499]

Wow, i am single but i am really glad i watched till the end, it's worth it Mr Mwine👌, thank you guys

[@thekitakas]

Single is a great season to learn as much as you can even though some of it may not make sense. When the time comes, you may remember. -RK

[@esthernakyalaserwadda9789]

My Husband is a soul and spirit in a body!! I already knew that but it hit differently today! Il.show.more grace

[@atuhaireritah7153]

Uncle Henry 😍😍 am happy knowing you know God to this level 🥰💃💃💃💃

[@oliversapiri3123]

It has been an inspiring conversation from Ben an eye opener big up the Kitakas these conversations should surely continue

[@boldforpurpose]

Thank you guys for the video, so insightful. Also Mr. Mwine has a nice voice.

[@paskaziatumwesigye1534]

Ehh you guys are very observant. As Rachael’s fan i was elated to hear him speak for the first time.

[@RachelKing-rh4kh]

It's beautiful to see the woman Shan has become,a truly godly woman that belongs to the hall of faith in Hebrews,the Bible says such is foolishness to the world,they will never understand,weldone the Kitakas

[@jennipherachaloi2065]

I like the authenticity with which the discussion is held. Like Rukshana, i relate to the burden of having to make family decisions, the head of the home should take lead and give direction

[@thekitakas]

The problem with us sometimes is that even when our husbands take lead and make decisions we 'fight' some of them :) -RK

[@ainembabazicharity6518]

Wow,this is a powerful conversation,Mr Mwine may God bless you abundantly.

[@prossymwesige7186]

Mr. Mwine kindly put on your ring 🙏🙏🙏

[@ekyakunzireelizabeth6298]

A wise woman knows that her power has the ability to make use of the man's authority! Wisdom!

[@MsGratefulgal]

Is she a manipulator/trickster or she is just shrewd😊. Shrewdness for Christ's sake matters.

[@ninsiimaracheal8838]

Man, this has blessed me more.. Thank you surely

[@judithlilly841]

Thanks for hosting Ben..

[@irenekerunen2704]

Women leave emotionally before leaving physically. Ben, u r spot on and ooh the fights we have in our heads and the responses😂😂😂😂 so true.

[@Colossus-k8u]

That the podcast starts with a prayer. Beautiful

[@joys_style]

The sound is really good.👌

[@esthernakyalaserwadda9789]

You just spoilt Uncle Henry for me. I preferred to see Ben as Henry the Mafia . That aside!!! Great talk! As great and insightful as the talk with Mrs Mwine. My respect for them as a couple just went over the sky!!! Thank you for hosting this show the Kitakas. God bless you for building great marriages thru this podcast!

[@paulnkore6580]

Great insights by Ben Mwine into the aspects of marriage.

[@munezaderick1033]

Wow! I thank God for this podcast ❤🙏

[@thekitakas]

Thanks for plugging in 🙏-RK

[@lailakabeeba]

Every knowledge you have is gonna be put to a test!!!!!!!!!!! Yoooo this slapped.

[@ElizabethEmmaodur]

This is so enriching, thank you guys.

[@nuwagabawinfredkiyemba]

Self love equals narcissism, nice nice conversation 👌 thanks so much.

[@geraldmudulo3189]

I think every human being needs to have self love. Selfishness to me would breed narcissism

[@israelmumpe1636]

I disagree with Mr. Mwine on only one point, its not right to brag about your weaknesses instead work on them. Literally Mr. Mwine you are telling us that you so short tempered and it can't be changed. The fact that you threatened your boss just because he shouted at you shows you have a big weakness and you should work on yourself😒😒🤔🤔

[@tumukugizejemiimah3543]

Wow that's all i can say about this episode. Very educative

[@stellanatukwasa4452]

Wow this is powerful. thank you 🙏

[@judithpeace001]

woow i really enjoyed this podcast 👏 👏 👏 weldone to The kitakas and Mwami Mwine

[@DorcasKemigisa]

Glory to God i watched this ❤

[@janekabagenyi1969]

Such a blessing ❤

[@Bootstrapsmediaandcommunicatio]

Love the fact tgat u have a guest now....how beautiful

[@saphiraainembabazi5976]

Wow such an insightful conversation 👏

[@hallejudy]

Enjoyed this one ❤❤❤

[@prillarkirungi4531]

Heheheh Men and washing dishes😂...my little boy prefers mopping a big house to doing the few dishes😂, I feel u Mr.😂 Wama kasta they cook ko once in a while we are good to go. Shana wama sikyekyo😊?

[@thekitakas]

Lol! I am one of those who likes my kitchen to myself 😀. I would much rather ‘they’ focused on the things I consider too much work (decisions, solving complex problems…) and it certainly is not chores.. I guess God knew what I needed provided it. -RK

[@prillarkirungi4531]

@@thekitakas💖 💝

[@muwulyamoses3193]

His first response is that "he is alive" to him that is what starts the counting. But I think it has to start with spiritual life, we know we are born dead (spiritually) and when we accept Christ we are spiritually alive. These two lives are essential (3 John 1:2)

[@thekitakas]

Normally people that respond that way are first and foremost just glad that they are living and breathing. The rest become secondary (in that moment based on where they are).. RK

[@gladysbirungi7586]

Woow., Very insightful podcast.

[@zabetmugisa]

The clever here ehhhhhh well done friends. So proud of y'all.

[@adongrhonah842]

I absolutely enjoyed this episode. The way ideas and experiences were shared. Loved it!

[@jaliahkintu3773]

Wow i loved this thank you 🙏🏿

[@asano9693]

so what advice can you give to some of us who left our marriages for two years or more in search of jobs in other countries? if the men can not hold for just 8 month🤔🤔 anyways it could be true if it's spoken by a fellow man, but it's just too hurting of a woman's can sacrifice for her family only to know that her husband is sleeping around

[@judithpeace001]

Thank you people' of God

[@JackieBabirye-is6qi]

Great work

[@kaitulillian5794]

This was such an impartation session, kati where was I to subscribe all along. If your new here like me,hit the subscription Bell ❤

[@suekhis6313]

lovely podcast

[@moureenbabirye9089]

Thanks for sharing❤❤

[@rochellenteeba6291]

It was a wise step to bring in another party to affirm what u have been saying .

[@AllenNdoli]

Rachael Mwine,thank you for Bringing that Knife 🔪 sis🤣😍😍Proof that God speaks through Women🤣lol

[@anonnona6433]

The sisterhood is proud of her 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@AllenNdoli]

@@anonnona6433 Ikr🤣

[@nahweranaume9496]

i just love Racheal and Ben... you are real,

[@namutebimukasanissen9916]

The leader should cede first of course! Goes without saying…love her, respect will come…after….

[@janasiimwe4780]

Wwwwoooooow is all I can say.So blessed

[@annekyarisiima4194]

It's about how you made me feel

[@graceasiimwe6356]

Is Mr. Mwine a pastor of a church? I want to be his congregant 😂😂😂😂

[@lugaliyvonne7827]

Thank you Omwami no Mukyala Kitaka for opening up this space to other like minded individuals. Can I also say that I like having Mr and Mrs Kitaka sit side by side 😂😂😂😂

[@esthernakyalaserwadda9789]

I can't sleep with dirty dishes in the house😮 the sleep will not come

[@musenerohilda9040]

Finally...banange

[@atuhairepatience9459]

Kyoka uncle Henry 😅

[@miriamkyobe]

😊😊

[@rochellenteeba6291]

Do not be un aware of devil's scheme to destroy yo marriage and his biggest weapon is yo spouse . Eye opening

[@ariongetverona7204]

Wow...Great insights ryt there.

[@imacayebazibwe6412]

Eeh! Mwiine has scriptures at his finger tips. And the way he brings them out to fit conversations is fantastic

[@ahabwepraise1285]

AM SO BLESSED TODAY ,CZ I ALMOST LOST MA RELATIONSHIP YET FEW MONTHS TO OUR WEDDING 😢HOO U HAVE SAVED OUR RELATIONSHIP LET ME SHARE THIS PODCAST TO ALL MA RELATIVES🎉

[@jmercyaturindakarungi247]

It’s the different revelations that the HolySpirit opens us to when we choose to invest in knowing the Word. Mr. Mwine takes time to show us the life of Job, Esther, David from a whole different angle! What a time to be alive! Thank you for pouring in us the Kitakas! And for Mr. Mwine! Eh! 👐🏽

[@joys_style]

What I appreciate most about this is that everybody's train of thought reached its destination, no one got "spoken over" no interruptions...just a great conversation.

[@helenbwesigye6075]

True.

[@estherbagoole1367]

Hi Thanks for this session. So good. Kind request. Mutundwe Christian fellowship has very good deliverance sessions. Together with this, you will be great. Thank you

[@melanie_77777]

"Esther didn't have authority but she had the power"👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@CotildaNakyeyune-rj6vh]

I think the best lesson from this podcast, is that you'll think you know yourself well until someone close starts peeling back layers off you. Then you get shocked at the difference between who you thought you were, and who you really are.

[@pamelaatukunda2122]

It's true

[@GiftEkyokwijuka]

Exactly

[@ahabwepraise1285]

LET ME BE HONEST ,IF GOD GAVE ME A MAN WHO CAN REALLY PUT ME IN MA PLACE ,I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL,KITAKA'S U ARE AMAZING

[@KasaijaChris]

Am here

[@brendanakirya1379]

This is the best episode. I learnt some things, my spirit was encouraged ,I enjoyed it. You are surely doing the Lord's work. Thank you ,Ben . for passing by

[@RichardKusiima]

Ben is so awakened in his spirit. ❤

[@tracyheute6114]

I have different views on feminism. No where it says men and women are equal… it came up to solve the issues that were happening to women back then. I believe everything has a good and bad impact and so is feminism. So it’s this generation’s Job to also find solutions to their problems instead of fighting or talking bad about something that wasn’t meant for them in the first place.

[@letstalkwithirenerenny]

We don't want peace,we want problem 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 on the other hand ,this is very educative bambi .have more of these with Mr Mwine.ffe data tulina to keep tuning in

[@dorahkainew5238]

Webale 😂

[@dorahkainew5238]

You understood the assignment props

[@bridgetbamulinde3181]

Understanding the spiritual feeding and balance it with Mental(mind) feeding. This is a universal need especially for christians

[@marthakyozira2085]

We are honored and humbled to have the @Kitakas and @Mwines. May it be said of you of how you redeemed marriages, how you called forth believers to have faith, to believe to the end.

[@kainebooch]

Ben Ben Ben….. how many times have I called you…… love the authenticity👏🏾legit submission👌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@CotildaNakyeyune-rj6vh]

A second podcast with Mw. Mwine and the wife would be a great idea. Otherwise, having him as a guest was a blast. Most especially since he's been Shan's friend for a long time, and could attest to the fact that she isn't miserable😊.

[@estherkukkiriza5639]

Ben, keep coming through! You'll are amazing! Lots of wisdom.

[@annnyakake8497]

This was a powerful conversation. Thank you, the kitakas and Mr.Mwine

[@AndrewKaluluMusisiMayanjaJr.]

Thank you for inviting Mr. Mwine. I have picked take home lessons from Ben. I have ever been with him for a short period of time and I bless the Lord unto how he totally transformed. We miss him on Radio and endless logical stories.

[@pamelajudithrwanyarare8429]

I thought I recognised him. I remember him when I used to work at Monitor FM. It's more than 20 years ago and he looks exactly the way he did during The Monitor FM days. I am happy he looks well and so happy he is married to the beautiful Rachael.

[@lizzienntate]

It was great to have Mr Mwine, always real. Love you the kitakas. God bless.

[@jk_Omuhweju]

Enjoyed this conversation … well done Ben and The Kitaka’s Konka Ben, mbu Banyankole men are not wattti? 😮. I think we are romatic, just different scales 😊

[@joana1207able]

Our initial plan was to watch 30 minutes every day with hubby. We ended up streaming all of it in one take. Ben was a much needed addition on this topic

[@AllenNdoli]

True,we have to Die Daily as Long as we Live,that's How we Win in Life💯Thank you for bringing Ben👏🏿waiting for Rachael🥰