Early Signs of BPD in Childhood & Adolescence

[@smhollanshead]

The symptoms I see are: social isolation, difficulty making friends, extreme willfulness, a lack of self worth, risk taking behaviors, impulsive behaviors, and fear of abandonment.

[@onthelinecommunity]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@blacke03-newchannel]

WHY the fvck this does identify me a lot ;-;

[@lystheshaman]

@@blacke03-newchannel same with me

[@kuroyamaevisekai]

I definetely did experience these and many of the ones explained in the video, fear of being alone was probably there too. And tbh I don't know if these were early signs of bpd or the experience of an average autistic kid but i was definetely really sensitive and it wasn't quite taken care of, I remember people keep saying that and being bothered so it just led me to invalidate my emotions further and it definetely didn't help, maybe it reduced some of the symptoms like angry outburts or impulsivity but it also did more damage with chornic emptiness

[@Saffron-sugar]

Extreme wilfulness to the point of self sabotage

[@darkninja136]

A few months now after getting my diagnosis for bpd I started getting random flashes of memory. I started remembering how sensitive I was at a kid. I hated rejection since I’ve been younger. I always overreacted to things. I truly feel I had it since I’ve been younger

[@onthelinecommunity]

Thanks for sharing your experience!

[@teresakaczynski8780]

Genes are also a big factor

[@ibnsharifshakoor677]

Great video I am a therapist . I saw signs in my daughter as early as age 4/5. Some people may not believe this but I watched the symptoms get progressively worse

[@fyrsoliel]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@fibonacci2112 Truly, would love to know personally as well-it’s challenging as a parent to navigate and provide help for them. I’m really glad she mentions that personality can tend to be more fixed than we originally thought-waiting for them to reach a certain age in order to be diagnosed will do more harm. I practice DBT with them, in addition to them seeing a therapist regularly as a conscious & responsive parent; I just want to be able to help them more.

[@gigglegirl177]

I totally watched my daughter get worse as well.

[@missa4026]

Did anything help the child? My child has been showing symptoms since 11 and now 15 the recent dr suggest this is what he has been battling all along. How do we help a teen who won't help themselves?

[@TheKezmeister2011]

I'm worried about my son who is pending a CAMHS diagnosis for adhd/asd. I note many tells of BPD, but could be CPTSD as fled DV. Really tough...but looking at a way to utilise DBT for neurodivergents into a child friendly format

[@dimpletoadfoot8631]

Oh man, our daughter always had bpd since she was tiny! I feel like a total failure as a parent because I was unaware of this. She's now a teenager and everything you mentioned fits her perfectly. We have been seeking therapy for her for years and finally found someone who might be able to help. It's exhausting and such a challenge to have a child with bpd.

[@junecleaver493]

Our daughter is 33. She too was BPD all of her life. Huge reactions. When you have no clue what is going on. (While seeking answers) add onto this rare chronic illnesses. A walking time bomb. Send her to therapy. Self mutilation. Suicide ideation. Name it. Outrageous behavior. In looking back, it is abundantly clear at this point, what is going on. Goodness. I feel like an utter failure. I searched constantly for answers. 😢

[@dimpletoadfoot8631]

@@junecleaver493 For first time parents, you go over all the "she ate something that is making her crazy (red dye or whatever)" or "she's having a meltdown because it's too noisy" or "she's really tired" or....List 100 other things. But now I realize it was massive anxiety, and the inability to be able to calm herself down. What ALWAYS worked when she was tiny, was an immediate distraction like something really funny. It was that Black/White thinking from one opposite to another, but it did work

[@dimpletoadfoot8631]

One thing she did way back when she was 2 or 3, was pick at her nails like she was nervous. Usually this was on the playground when she was around others, or when at a playgroup. She didn't do this at home as much.

[@nicolekent9518]

Hey, just a small tid bit, bpd is trauma based, just think on what your child may have been through.

[@ekaterinastaneva9922]

^This is an overstatement and a speculation. It "is believed" that people with bpd are "more likely"then thr general population to have experienced trauma. Since we don't know if bpd is genetic or environmental we attribute it to epigenetics and we assume gene expression is coming from a perceived traumatic event or environmental peculiarities. Notice how far away this is from "your child had a trauma".

[@mesholberatsonallibi]

i’m 15 and i full on sobb at least once a day ,happy ,is so happy i cry,sad is so sad i cry,angry ,so angry i cry,there is so many reasons i belive i geniunly could have bpd but all i’m going to say is i just resonate on a whole mother level

[@halfofakitty]

Aside from clinical symptoms, Favorite Person (male peer) at age 5 & 12. My parents were happy I had "crushes" but said no to legitimate dating later. Diagnosed with ADHD in mid elementary. Rejection sensitivity that would later go away in late highschool, and a few episodes of disassociation back then too. Socially awkward. Low self-esteem due to it and ADHD shaming from parents (who clearly knew I was diagnosed but didn't know what it was eventho I took medication) which isn't uncommon.

[@onthelinecommunity]

That sounds very difficult, hang in there!

[@boknooren]

Hy Kayla, Thank you for making this video! I really think that there has to be a at least the possibility for diagnosing adolescents with bpd (or you might call it "developmental bpd" or "signs of bpd" or something like that). When I was 15 years old, I said to my psychiater that I thought I might have bpd, she immediately dismissed this because I was not 18 yet so I couldn't have this. Then she misdiagnosed me with asd instead and then send me away to be treated by autism specialist, I was totally mistreated. Maybe we might have to take less weight to the normal puberty like symptoms like sense of self. I just don't see that when you are 15 years old and have extreme mood swings, self-harming on daily basis, have had suicide attempts, dissociate, extremely destructive impulsive and you have extreme attachment issues, how all that would magically go away by becoming 18 years old or how these symptoms would not be worth treating or that typical therapy like dbt would not be helpful right away? It feels like that because of that, I had to suffer much longer than could have been. Especially, if you know that trauma and dysfunctional environments are so common in those with bpd and bpd symptoms are tell-tale signs that something is going on, we are just dismissing all of that because we are afraid of "labelling someone to early".

[@onthelinecommunity]

These are all great points, thanks for sharing!

[@JDforeveralone]

If you check others like eg Dr Daniel Fox, he acknowledges the fact of reluctance of diagnosis but himself believes that def you can see early sign before 18. The whole thing of "18" is somehow ridiculous. You don't "turn" adult just cos I've reached the magical number. I'm Caucasian but live in North Africa where the view of being adult is much more balanced according to the mental state of that young person. Nevertheless even here mental disorders get evaluated with the 18 mark (guess cos of so called global standards). My girl was one month aey from turning 18 yet they didn't want to diagnose. Pathetic I hope that you found the right therapy for yourself. Check out Dr Daniel Fox, he's a very empathetic person. Got also a workbook you can order.

[@anonymousandy2789]

i got diagnosed at 16. but i was in a high security facility and had a pretty extreme case.

[@colepeterson9961]

Autism is a common comorbidity with BPD, just saying. Also women(and sometimes men) commonly get misdiagnosed as having BPD when it's actually autism.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

😮😮😮😮😮

[@dawnrobertson3067]

My daughter is autistic and ADHD. She's 15. I'm also thinking she may be BPD too but not completely sure.

[@RebeccaMolyneux-87]

This is what I’m wondering, I was told this by an experienced mental health professional

[@billcipher1523]

Yeah it's so hard to know if I just have autism and my hormones are making me have symptoms similar to bpd or if I really have autism and bpd.

[@alilih3652]

Yea this video made me be able to look back at my younger life growing up and I def had symptoms but I hid them so well nobody noticed. I was a fighter as a child and always in trouble and I would get super obsessed with ppl and I would stalk them not just online but say in school I would follow them around and see where they go and try to follow them after school or find out where they live and walk around their house/neighborhood and those were really only when I felt extremely positive towards someone or extremely negative towards them…I also would such a cry baby as a child and would cry at the slightest things and get super mad over little things and super excited about little things. Very emotional disregulation and that’s not good when ur put into an abusive household (father and mom faught a lot and I seen my dad sexually abuse my mom many times) toxic household after that, sexual grooming and sexual abuse as a young child by one of my cousins who would only a year older than me etc etc.

[@pambrown5382]

I've been sensitive from birth and a totall mismatch to my family of origin, with no help in sight. Also this was 55 years ago when seeking help was a sign of weakness. I used to cry myself to sleep all of the time. The biggest impact was that I wasn't able to learn, every report card said the same thing, I just needed to apply myself. Who can focus on learning when the dysfunction is so great at home? I would just worry and ruminate, none of the teachers helped even though my face told a story. I got nicknames like 'pensive Pam'.

[@ArabellaCharm]

Parents that are watching this, please also be sure to check in on the siblings! Check often, secretly, and see if they need any protection or counseling themselves. The siblings of those with BPD are often scared targets that feel trapped into silence and forgotten.

[@Colleenybooo]

I 100% had social isolation(guidance counselor in middle school said, “I’m glad to see that she isn’t ‘fitting in’ to any of the school cliques” LOL. Terrified anxiety ridden thoughts of making a friend 🥲 -- self worth? Yea ok. Cut myself in 7th GRADE! Mom and dad disappeared and my dad’s adoptive grandparents raised me. 100% had/have BDP and I was put on Zoloft (did not do well on that) and was told several different disorders. I wish this was something that people understood and cared about more !!!

[@rixward5475]

ever get really angry at mojo ? I was undiagnosed dyslexic growing up with BPD traits, I was adopted at birth & my birth mother ( that I tracked down in my late 20's ) that I can make out is definitely %1000 BPD, and my adopted father was Bipolar he died when I was 12 but I witnessed all the manic moments until then, the teasing at school I got plus a promiscuous adopted mother in my middle teens where I saw & heard most of it, the environment I was living definitely contributed to me having BPD as well as other things. It didn't really show its ugly side until I had a relationship break up & business fail at the same time. when did your adverse traits/effects take hold ( anyone who reads this)?

[@amethystfen]

Mine took hold around the same time. Manifested in the most ugly way possible when I turned 21. Around this time I completely lost myself. I was very promiscuous (for strange reasons, as sex wasn't at all pleasurable) and I discarded/hurt/abandoned my high school sweetheart in the most cold and callous way. It did hurt me too, but I felt flatlined, numb, manic and confused. I really needed therapy and treatment years ago, starting in my childhood but didn't receive it. The importance of that can not be stated enough as it hurt me later on down the line.

[@MrMawnster]

Yes, personality is fairly stable, we can adjust ourselves on a mini spectrum but it's pretty stable. Just what I know from tons of reading on these topics in the psych literature

[@ekaterinastaneva9922]

Well this is just not true. And lickily so, because if personalities were rigid, then then treatments that target the way we feel, rather then the way we act, will just not work. DBT will not work if personalities are stable. And if personalities react to external stimuli like therapy, they react to other external stimuli too. Which is especially true with underage individuals, who are responsive to their environment, for they are dependent and have high neiroplasticity. Ofter child with "problematic character" when removed from traumatic family environmental will change dramatically. That is even true with adults, who might be high in neuroticism up until they change their stressful job, or find a kinder spouse. What you might say however is that personalities and characters CAN be persistent and very stubborn in many people. Additionally you can say that personality disorder and personality trades could from early remain stable in time, unless change in environmental or a form of professional intervention is introduced.

[@anonymousandy2789]

i remember the first time i said "i dont know who i am" i was probably 10. at about 5 i can remember being paranoid about mind readers and i wondered if other people were real, by 12 i was cutting i was diagnosed at 16 bpd with antisocial traits

[@natashadd6576]

My bpd was evident by age 6 . The first sign was out burst of anger switching.I had a step dad I would write things like . I love sam on a wall then some other occasions I would write I hate sam. I would often ponder did he see that and feel upset I would feel bad for him .

[@onthelinecommunity]

Thanks for sharing this!

[@brettcordes3602]

Many kids who eventually grow up into BPD are diagnosed with ODD as kids.

[@thecosmicsage_earth]

The ego personality can greatly shift through time. It is not static or fixed. Everyone has a higher self or a true identity that often gets layered on top of with conditioning, programming, traumas. Through life if we decondition and heal, our ego personality can make extreme shifts back to a healed state, in union with our higher form. Essentially raising your consciousness, greatly improves your ego personality.

[@age93]

Your comment makes me think of the “Dark Night of The Soul”. In order to reach the authentic self, one must heal and the ego must “die”. Once we shed the layers of who we think we are, what our life is, meanings, beliefs, etc. we will be awakened.

[@thecosmicsage_earth]

@@age93 exactly there are many ego deaths during the process. Of course, we never fully lose our ego because it’s vital as a human being to have.

[@thefletchlife7837]

There is a reduced cognitive function too. This makes treatment difficult. DBT focuses on self awareness, and coping strategies. Research shows DBT was born due to failed attempts to develop a sense of self in the patient, and reduced levels of executive functioning. The label is neccesary for education and treatment. My ex-wife was diagnosed. I raise our 4 children alone, our 13 year old daughter has self harmed, multiple.failed relationahips, Promiscuity, impulsiveness, aggresive outburst, emotional dysregulation, and is disproportionately affected by criticism. She has low self worth, and splits. That said, because of the over sensitivity concerning dianosis, professionals still arrogantly suggest it may be teenage behaviour. She recently punched a steel post and went to hospital. There is little parents can do with these abnormalities. DBT requires a multidisplinary team of professionals with 24 hour support. Parents should not be expected to manage this. This is a debilitating disorder. I have since switched careers from self emoyed engineer to psycholgy. The more you understand, the more you realise the gravity of the situation.

[@kuroyamaevisekai]

Actually no, parents should be expected manage it because it's your child and you should take care of your child. Sure you're not expected to manage it alone and professionals who are supposed to be more trained on this should be ready to help but if you aren't ready to manage your child's disorder cuz "it's too hard", then you should not have children in the first place or go in with expectations that they'll always be perfect children or try to prevent the traumatizing events that led to the development of bpd

[@karenvolk]

You are very correct.

[@karenvolk]

You have no idea what you are talking about so you should not be giving advice. A very seasoned BPD parent here looking for as much information and solid research so I do't have to watch my adult child wither and die because there is not the proper help out there.@@kuroyamaevisekai

[@JDforeveralone]

​@@kuroyamaevisekai although you might have a point in what you wrote your comment is very judgemental. I perfectly understood from the original commentator that he meant not to be left alone!! Which is unfortunately lots of times the case cos of the way the health system works (endless waiting times with appoiments) or just plainly the stigma surrounding BPD in general. As for not having kids and so on - maybe nowadays (last 20 odd years) there is more awareness on these issues plus the big game change of the internet where you can research everything.... Many of us weren't that lucky and so you just move on with life the best you think you are doing. Every heard about genetational passed down trauma??? Just a bit more empathy......

[@nicolekent9518]

Your really should be managing it since bpd is born from trauma… in early life with connection with parents….

[@VivvyAsmr]

I remember writing my ‘will’ around the age of 12…I wrote out who all my toys would go to & how I wanted my body to be preserved… I had terrible tantrums as a toddler and was overall rather reactive. Looking back; there were plenty of VERY OBVIOUS patterns starting in my early childhood even before adolescence. Ppl are so scared to over/early diagnose…but I feel it would’ve been helpful to begin treating me before my brain finished developing to avoid solidifying my broken thinking patterns. 😏

[@consciouslyawakening9588]

Beautiful explanation, especially when the behaviors begin early and the child is hypersensitive. I’ve always felt like I couldn’t comfort my daughter and tend to her need for a lot of emotional support. No amount of support helped her… As a person who is processing childhood PTSD from a hyper anxious mother, I became a people please to cope as early as 5 years old. No amount of attention would help daughter. It exhausted me… I have felt this way for years, but your explanation makes it more present for me.

[@ChurchofCaboose]

My daughter has a parent with BPD and she seems to likely have it. Though she's 8. Is there any info on that? I agree it's not wise to diagnose a kid. I'm also not sure how to balance the fact she's a kid with the fact her biological father was very abusive emotionally and probably has something like BPD and could have passed it on. This kid creates so much chaos and her mom and I don't know what to do anymore

[@cathywyman8103]

Very interesting and I love Mojo.

[@onthelinecommunity]

Haha yes he’s adorable 🥰

[@andyveres3982]

MOJO! Ty Kayla 🙂

[@Panacea9]

They get locked up at 'random' and stay there. If you are trying to fight and see that as something in the distance then there is that to look at. Otherwise you turn to become a abuser yourself or are stuck and feel like a fraud and helpless but see outs of the group were with you.

[@Yommo-to9uf]

I think I started punching myself when feeling frustrated at ten, I am 21 now and just got diagnosed a week ago, in primary school and high school there were periods of time in which I would cry every day for a week or so, I would let people treat me poorly and try so hard to please them all cause I was afraid of them leaving, it all makes more sense now

[@missa4026]

Did you or anyone reading this deal with school refusal? My child has been dealing with this since middle and HS. The Dr. Now think he has BPD.

[@laurenkwoczala9467]

I have bpd and had a mental breakdown last year but now my ten year old is showing signs of this now 😢

[@LuckyRowlands]

The worst parst is coming to terms with the fact that the responsibility of the kid's suffering lies entirely on the parents, whom generated that kid.

[@TheKezmeister2011]

So sorry you had a breakdown. The Worst thing you can do is sink into self destructive self talk and self blame. You have a diagnosis, so GP should be paying special attention to your daughter and if not, they need to be made fully aware. Reach out to CAMHS and GP ASAP. Ask for ELSA support/Thrive worker at the school. Get as much support as possible. Carer's centres also provide peer groups for those caring for young people with MH issues and adults alike. Peer support is amazingly helpful. Be as pro-active as you can, for both of you. It's not your fault (I.e. parents, upbringing, childhood trauma etc. There was so little understanding in previous generations...obviously I don'tknow origin of your trauma but work on inner child is helpful). Be compassionate to yourself 1st and daughter next. There is still hope and please look for DBT for both. Special connection time together when regulated is crucial. We are fortunate that there is so much information on the topics now of CPTSD, trauma and personality...although waiting lists are huge, we can take recovery into our own hands a lot more these days if we prioritise MH over all else. ❤❤. Keep in mind the positive qualities that you both have and focus on praising and identifying positive qualities realistically to boost self-esteem. Sending you strength.❤

[@TheKezmeister2011]

Also don't be afraid of having your daughter removed from your care. You are the best person she needs. Keep doing the work You survived a breakdown. Focus on the things you have overcome. Be your own mother to you. Take up a hobby together...or alone or both...go slow...one step and one small change per week/month...I.e. managing strong emotions...grounding techniques...journal etc. Baby steps xx

[@Heather-xo2wf]

So anxiety can be part of our personality?

[@SuzeQloves80smusic]

She keeps saying BPD. This might be a dumb question, but is she talking about Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder?

[@Sugtoru]

Borderline!

[@karenvolk]

I could tell something wasn't right by the time my 4th daughter was 2 years old. I have been searching for 30 years now. This illness has only affected her and not the other children. We have not found help yet it feels like I am watching her die.

[@achyleftistwitch]

😻😻😻

[@klenovicaklen657]

Prior to BPD diagnosis the person in average has at least 5 other mental illness diagnosis. The lady talks about very mild BPD, waste of time overall. BPD includes cutting, suicidal thoughts and attempts, severe depressions, distorted self image. Dealing with true BPd like 16 yr old daughter is pure hell. Nothing works and it’s more like being helpless while the love one is heading to self destruction. Those bs mild BPD should have a different name ..

[@TheKezmeister2011]

There are 4 subtypes of BPD...discouraged (quiet or high functioning), petulant, self-destructive, and impulsive or a combination..

[@TheKezmeister2011]

Quiet could be seen as mild but in reality it isn't. It's very painful for the sufferer. They just hide it better. Also sufferers can have traits but not enough to be diagnosed. Autism and adhd or AUDHD and BPD have many cross-over symptoms as does CPTSD/PTSD...and can be co-morbid. There is often bias towards females and misdiagnosis. Best to do full research on all and journal self experiences with a trauma therapist/counselling therapist who may have experience in psychopathology/trauma. X

[@TheKezmeister2011]

I also feel that further research is needed as traits can subside in middle age (with treatment)...if a true PD, such traits would be untreatable surely? Unless many misdiagnosis are occurring?

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Mental health got scared in the 80 s 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@markroth846]

What if youre just a bad person? Lack of empathy, extreme selfishness, intentionally causing distress and destruction...

[@1Gibson]

NPD

[@1Gibson]

And most likely Antisocial Personality disorder or cluster B