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I have this strange idea that somehow Nick Jr has changed since we last laid eyes on it in 2000. But just to make sure, here are a couple clips from May 28th, 2017. We start off in the middle of an ad for some Power Rangers toys. Proper ones, not junk from that new movie. That’s a good start already.
Next, an ad for… Cry Babies. That’s seriously what you’re calling it? You might as well call it “The Annoying Child Thing” for all the good it’ll do. After a couple Playmobil ads, there’s a promo for a block called “The Fast and the Furriest” - I think Tom and Jerry coined that one years ago - featuring that Paw Patrol show that’s become a new fad for any child under the age of five.
Then there’s a promo for Nella: The Princess Knight, which looks like Diet My Little Pony, which isn’t nearly as bad as 80s My Little Pony, so they’re still coming out on top.
To my surprise, the Nick Jr idents aren’t nearly as noisy as I expected them to be - but maybe that’s only because this was recorded in the night. A boy looks under his bed and finds a whole city living there, hinting that he’s been smoking one too many Nick Jrs if you ask me.
Then it’s time for Shimmer and Shine, which sounds more like it should be a cleaning product, doesn’t it?