EATING DISORDERS AND MENTAL ABUSE IN VAGANOVA BALLET ACADEMY | My Story

[@manoelahorn4298]

thank you for speaking up! i feel like a lot of vaganova graduatees never talk about this and always sugarcoat it bc it might bring them problems in their career and etc. but you overcame something big and youre so strong for that, speaking out gives so many other girls courage to do the same and understand that they dont deserve to ve in a toxic place like that

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your message 💔 exactly! Most are silent because they still in theaters, etc What more scary - some I guess just getting used to that

[@Shiva289-t23]

​@Mary Puart thanks for speaking out. I noticed many Russians being vile on KZbin in comments about 14 Yr old former Vaganova student Vera Shpakouskaya, saying how she was expelled for being "too fat", how her body "failed" for not remaining in the thin/long aesthetic after puberty.

[@victorialisa_]

I was a ballet dancer for 18 years starting at the age of 3. It is very similar in the United States. I had anorexia from the age of 12 to 21 and it was mental hell everyday. I would go through fazes of binging and then starving myself too. Not only did I have mentally abusive teachers I also have been inappropriately touched by 2 male teachers by the age of 15. I literally was dancing 50 hours a week and dedicated my entire life to ballet and one day I just had enough. Best decision ever. I love ballet but being a normal woman with a regular job has been the best thing that has happened to me. Also I am now happily married too!

[@MaryPuart]

I’m so so sorry 💔 and what a brave woman you’re for sharing your story! Thank you so much 🙏🏻 I’m so glad you’re better now. I also have two crazy stories, but there were not teachers but a doctor and a photographer… maybe I will share them one day

[@isabelaandzico]

I was also trained in Russia 🇷🇺 but at the Bolshoi. I’m a professional ballerina 🩰 who has always been naturally thin, but I DID see artistic directors, ballet coaches etc controlling the other dancers’ food intake. We’d all be eating together and many of the girls got their food taken away (as well as parts, of course, for weight gain!), at the same time I was told I could eat whatever I wanted IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY! It made me feel special (which is messed up, I know!) but it also made the other girls HATE me. I’ll never forget seeing a male artistic director march into our dressing room and take the costume of a beautiful ballerina for weight gain and given to her understudy the day of our performance. I was dancing with her and another girl as the nymphs in Walpurgis Night. We only had a few hours to rehearse with the understudy… of course, we danced as if nothing had happened.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for sharing this💔 This industry is cruel.

[@isabelaandzico]

@@MaryPuart ✊🏻🩰💖

[@MaryPuart]

@@isabelaandzico I remember being so scared to eat in front of everyone and also how teachers were watching when they can what did we eat, especially who were “not in the shape” 😣 it haunted me for years

[@isabelaandzico]

@@MaryPuart I appreciate what you said about girls like me who could eat and “not get in trouble” but it was a twisted compliment meant to add to the competition between us all. I love my teachers and coaches and directors. They made me the ballerina 🩰 I became but I was traumatized too. Did Vaganova/Mariinsky have “fat girls” parts like the Bolshoi? I remember that La Bayedere act II “parrot dance” was for them… спасибо большое ☺️🇧🇷🇵🇹🇷🇴🇷🇺🇺🇦🩰💖

[@isabelaandzico]

@@MaryPuart I actually had a dream from my time in Russia 🇷🇺 when I was living in Moscow at my teacher/coach Yelena. Your video really impacted me. Please make more like this. You’re amazing and watching your story from Vaganova vs The Bolshoi Ballet Academy.. Ты смелый и красивый 💖

[@eceekmekci3156]

I’m truly glad that you’re getting better. It’s a tragedy how we, as little kids wanting to become a ballet dancer someday, sacrifice our mental and physical health and it’s totally normalized in this industry… After I quit ballet it was so liberating and scary at the same time: I started to enjoy foods and drinks, try out new ways of dancing/ moving my body without doing classical ballet and all that made me see a world much bigger outside… But at the same time I’m still coping with some mental issues that the ballet world gave me: low self esteem, self-hatred because of my body image, feeling myself “proud” when I eat less than normal… It’s a hell that I would wish for nobody. But you’re the proof that things can and will get better, at least for us if not for the whole industry. You’re not alone 🌸. Thanks for sharing your journey and greetings from Spain

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your message 💔 yes, it’s heartbreaking - because I stopped loving dance, they broke something inside my heart. And from my 5-6 years old dance was the only thing I dreamed about and I was so passionate about it. I also found myself in different styles after I left Theater - I danced and learned lady style, hip hop, contemporary, jazz funk, jazz, even did my own choreographies - you can find some here on my channel. Every word of yourself resonates with me, these post effects of ballet mental trauma. Thank you so much for reaching out, I wish you and me and everyone from this industry a healing

[@xxEmmeline.Laurier]

You’re so strong for speaking about this ❤ I went through a similar experience when I was training at a Russian ballet school. My teachers told me to lose weight. One of them told my class that we were cockroaches for having stomachs that stuck out just a little bit, and she told us we could not gain ANY weight until we reached 16. It’s ridiculous how scientifically inaccurate all that information is. I started losing weight and about a year and a half later, my parents starting getting far too concerned. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa then. I understand everything that you speak about in this video. Russian ballet is toxic. Not even just Russian ballet, it’s the entire ballet system. But of course, Russian ballet is exceptionally brutal and worse.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your words and I’m so sorry you went through this 💔 I hope you feel much better right now

[@rolo6932]

She is not strong. She is wailing! Pampered westerners surely cannot understand what Russian ballet is all about!

[@anyabrooy]

hey, I don't know you, and I'm not even interested in ballet, yet this topic resonates with me. I teach English, and I used to teach a couple of rhythmic gymnasts, like the pre-Olympic reserve. how many times have I shared my sandwiches with them or comforted them during their mental breakdowns as they had to function and study after an 8 hr long training? how many times did I have to listen about their coaches hitting them with clubs to perform better? I can't watch the Olympics and all sorts of gymnastics championships, and I can only imagine all the mental abuse mounting behind this. no result is worth such a lifelong mental trauma. wishing you to heal, put these memories in a box, and live a happy life.

[@MaryPuart]

Hi! Thank you so much for reaching out. You will not believe but I had a private English native speaker teacher in Russia - he was from Manchester. I regularly had mental breakdowns during our classes, and he helped me a lot. I’m so thankful for his kindness and yours to these girls. It’s disgusting that so many people from the industries “protect” those methods of treating children. Nope, they don’t pay after for our mental therapy, they don’t care. When I first started to speak about it I even got messages from some of my coaches with “how dare you to not be thankful”, I was in shock! Thank you so much for your message

[@anyabrooy]

@@MaryPuart it's a good thing you started talking about your ballet past and all the abuse - it will help you find people who support you. wrap yourself with all those people and their support and one day all those coaches, your past won't be able to rock your boat! ❤️

[@MaryPuart]

@@anyabrooy thank you so much for your words, it means a lot for me 💔🙏🏻

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

Dreadful! There is a documentary on rhythmic gymnastics called “Over the Limit” which follows the 2016 Olympics all-around gold medallist Margarita Mamun (RUS). There’s a version uploaded to KZbin that has English subtitles. I can’t believe what the coaches say to the girls when they know the cameras are recording it! How do they behave when the cameras aren’t there? It’s absolutely atrocious. There are comments written in Cyrillic that have a “translate to English“ option (so I don’t know if the translation provided by KZbin is completely accurate) saying that the English translation in the docu for what the coaches are saying is too mild. How can such a training culture be changed?

[@ofekalon1810]

I used to be in rhythmic gymnastics and your story resembles mine so much. I'm literally holding my tears. I felt so guilty for quitting gymnastics (and than quitting from ballet too after enjoying it so much- it triggered me so badly..) because i saw myself as the problem, that i wasn't strong enough to go through all of that, and there's always this voice in my head that tells me about all the good things that i loved there and that i made a mistake quitting. I know I didn't enjoy it anymore, I know I was suicidal and deep into body dysmorphia and ed's. I wish this sport and ballet weren't focusing so much on our body but on the sport itself (how much more enjoyable, less stressful and better performance/outcome would it be). Thank you for that, i hope we'll both stop having nightmares soon ❤️

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for sharing your story 💔 I wish you all the best and first of all a complete healing

[@belkyhernandez8281]

So glad you have brought up abuse. I am not a professional dancer nor even a good dancer, but I have watched lots of videos by dancers. My goodness, the way many dancers describe their experiences or anxieties sets off abuse alarm bells. The more disturbing thing is when the dancers are in so deep they aren't even describing it as abuse or trauma. They see the abuse as normal or needed. In my opinion, dancers who have started to recognize that how they have been treated is abusive, are on their way to healing. Best wishes to everyone who has had to go through this.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for comment like that! I’m honestly was so scared to see in comments people who justify abuse.. not surprising but I’m disgusted every time.. probably these people didn’t experience that by themselves

[@head_in_the_clouds]

I remember being a young ballet dancer in the 90' s. I had mostly Russian training and weight barley 100 lbs...I was tiny but constantly reminded to lose more weight. It.made me feel horrible and worthless because I tried so desperately to achieve the super thin flat chested look

[@mariaalicemelazo7464]

so good to have brave women like you speaking up like this. this is so important. thank you so much

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your message 💔🙏🏻

[@kinn4086]

You're great for posting this. =) I'm not a ballerina but also went through binge eating and anorexia and I really feel for you. You've done great to leave that lifestyle if it was triggering. Life has so much more to offer than ballet and than a nice body. Life is full of amazing things, and you miss so much of it when you focus inward and simmer in self-loathing instead of living.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much! What a great message 💔🙏🏻

[@candidak.]

Thank you for sharing your story. It's like reliving my own, now over 30 years ago in a Ballet Academy in Europe, so much similarities, didn't eat dinner, lost my period, was hyped for losing weight, then had injuries, put on weight without really eating, couldn't lose it again, lost all my parts, because 'they couldn't put such a fat person on the stage', and finally quit ballet all together. Now in retrospect I see I could have tried to audition elsewhere, but back then I was so brainwashed, I thought if I can't make it there I'm not going to make it. Had years of binge eating afterwards and still deal with massive overweight. So great that you could heal so well and quick.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your bravery of sharing this 💔 I’m so sorry and wishing you a full recovery from this past

[@marietjevanderloo6442]

Was it in Amsterdam?

[@tobe3940]

As someone who also has been abused (by a university "professor" who basically wanted to sexually assault any of the students he'd manage to lure in his house), I'd like to thank you for speaking up and laying the facts under the light for all to know. I did the same but they said not enough students have come forth and fully complained and whistleblowed on him and that's why he is still there tragically enough. If more students realize what abuse of power is and voiced their protest about it, these abusive teachers wouldn't get to continue destroying lives like this.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for reaching out! I’m so sorry for everything what happened to you 💔

[@chocofruits1534]

Oh I can fully relate to the anxiety you are feeling, it's truly the worst, I'm so glad you are in a better studio and getting proper treatment. Going to a therapist (and a psychiatrist) really did helped me, it's an every day battle 😪

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much! I’m not dancing anymore for now but who knows, maybe I will return one day to a modern dance

[@tammygun1]

I am so sad that this happened to you as I'm sure you are a talented and beautiful dancer. It's the ballet world's loss that they lose dancers such as yourself to this. Unfortunately it's depressing that nothing has changed over the years. I trained in the 80s in UK and it was very similar. I'm now an adult who dances recreationally and wherever I see abuse of young students I call it out. Only by speaking out can things change.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your warm words 💔

[@erinpatterson8482]

Thank you for sharing your story. This breaks my heart. Ballet should be about expression and technique.- a celebration of what the body can do as an athlete and vessel of art! It's awful how many people have endured such pain due to gross and unrealistic expectations. I am so sorry you experienced this. So many people share similar stories and I truly hope the standards of ballet change. Personally, I like seeing varieties of bodies in ballet! I want to see healthy women on stage. I am so happy you are in the process of healing. Be gracious and compassionate with yourself

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your warm words 💔

[@Kaulakao]

Very sorry, the classical dancer has to be thin. Her male partner has to lift and support the dancer's body and along with this, a Chubby Giselle does not give a good spectral image, for example.

[@erinpatterson8482]

There's always pressure on the women to be thinner rather than for the men to be stronger... There are plenty of men all over the world who are not in the art of ballet that are able to press weights that far exceed the average human. Maybe the men should be encouraged to become stronger? @@Kaulakao

[@Kaulakao]

No, that would be choosing the most difficult, currently everything maintains a convenient balance: thinness, elasticity and adequate weight in women and adequate strength and agility in men. It is rational, if a person does not meet the appropriate physical conditions, then he should not dedicate himself to professional ballet just as I cannot play basketball professionally because of my height.@@erinpatterson8482

[@ilyaorlovskiy]

@@erinpatterson8482 maybe you should invent your own ballet rather than call for degradation of ballet standards?

[@juiceknot]

I am so sorry. I had to go through this with my ex wife. Ballet so damaged her emotionally & confidence. Our marriage couldn’t recover. It was a relationship between her, me, and her weight issues. I was a personal trainer and she was a pilates instructor. We needed help. Then I got MS which stressed her out more than me. I wish you & your husband the best

[@MaryPuart]

I’m so sorry for what happened to you and your wife 💔 I hope you both are okay now. Yes, many people are not recovering well from such trauma😣 I wish you a great health and happiness in this life. I wish that for your ex wife too. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me

[@LorryHill]

Thank you so much for courageously sharing!! So happy you’re well now.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for reaching out and watching, Lorry! I appreciate that 💔❤️🙏🏻

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

Wow, are you THE Lorry Hill? (Please don’t answer if it compromises your privacy!) I’m so impressed that you wander into different areas of KZbin! Of course, it’s not a surprise that you are leaving your kind and supportive comments to help others. You and Mary are doing a lot to help uplift and encourage people all over the world who watch your videos, and I hope you’re both aware of that. Body image affects all of us and you are both helping people of all ages to find self-acceptance and peace. People who achieve this will help others to reach that point too. So I’m not exaggerating when I say that you are making the world a better place! Thank you, ladies! 😍😍💐💐👏👏❤️❤️

[@MaryPuart]

@@dronesclubhighjinks thank you 💔❤️

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

@@MaryPuart ❤💕💐

[@MegaSelgomezrox]

Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing your story, it’s crazy to think of how many women are suffering all while people are saying “they can’t be starving themselves or they wouldn’t be able to dance” just ignoring what’s going on

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you 💔

[@karenlindley.9756]

Nearly every dancer I know has some kind of eating disorder……or disordered eating / body dysmorphia. For someone who’s had an acute ED for 35years and been through so much with it….there is light! Each persons journey is different but it hardly ever leaves you. You learn to live with it…. Congratulations for opening up so candidly about your issues. Acknowledging it and getting therapy is the first start. So proud of you. Stay strong…..you are worth being who you are…xx

[@bethanylnguyen]

Dance, but most especially ballet, can be an extremely toxic community. Glad that you are out on the otherside and not Black Swaned. Even as a child ballerina I felt similar pressures, at a local dance studio. I hope you heal well and post your journey

[@MaryPuart]

Yes💔 Dance, and I would say sport/modeling as well, even acting probably. Everything which somehow depends on “how you look”.. thank you so much for your kind words and this message under my video, I appreciate it a lot 💔🙏🏻

[@MaryPuart]

And I’m so sorry you went through this too. I hope you’re much better now

[@bethanylnguyen]

@@MaryPuart I am and I hope your story gets out!! You are great at engagement haha 😄 💖!!!

[@MaryPuart]

@@bethanylnguyen thank you so much 💔 I didn’t expect that much of a feedback 🙈

[@fragilefleur]

I’m sorry you have been through such a terrible and traumatizing experience as this and am glad to know you are healing from your pain. Your tears show that you are still carrying it and I hope you will find some help with your mental health counselor visits. You are valuable not just for your body but it seems in Ballet it’s so so competitive. My friend’s daughter is 15 and just entering a more competitive sphere and is already experiencing her first big tears at not being as perfect as she would like to be and beating herself up for having nerves at her first stage solo and not kicking as high as she can in studio classes and rehearsals. She’s a beautiful and brilliant girl and I worry about her immersion in ballet at this age. I grew up overweight and have multiple experiences with humiliation, dieting and dangerous practices as a result of the external pressure placed on me by my own mom who still says horrible things about overweight people even though she doesn’t realize she’s saying it to me and it might be harmful. I can tell you are very bright and self aware enough to recover from what happened to you but what happens when we are kids to harm us mentally really is hard to shed so definitely work with your therapist to break down the invisible walls that the ballet industry has created to make more women than not be shamed out of the joy of being a dancer. To me the reality is that the ideal should be healthy and happy while dancing and especially happy. Dance is an artistic expression as well as a sport in my opinion and yeah some might be able to leap higher and do more pirouettes but that doesn’t always make for the most amazing performances. The best ones to me are the ones where the artist/dancer is performing from their heart and putting their head and energy into it and connecting to convey the message to the audience. It’s so hard to love ballet and then know how many young women are being hurt by it. And why is it that the ideal is “hungry dog” and “nursing mother animal or human” is looked so down on. This is mysogent thinking and we need to both boost creative dancers and nursing mothers to be valued and seen for their true gifts to society and not made out to be something negative. Being a nursing mother is providing liquid gold to young and it’s, to me, the most precious thing a woman has is ability to offer something that her own body makes and sustains life. That said I also don’t want women struggling with breastfeeding to feel less than great but truly it’s a biological amazing miracle to have a baby and grow them with milk and in order to do these things our bodies have some natural fat. I know you know this but it’s just so frustrating. I’m so happy for you to speak out on this topic and open up giving a small expression of your experience. You should write a book about this. It would sell really well I feel. You are beautiful and you got into a company so they were obviously wrong. But if you grow up with those messages, it really does damage to young women who are just transitioning from children to women. And you are right that it goes on in sports and modeling and many industries. Great and brave job speaking out on your experience! Sending big hugs over for you who I am completely positive is extremely talented at dance and many other things. Enjoy your marriage and your life no matter what.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your words 💔🙏🏻

[@KathyB]

Спасибо, что раскрыли эту тему. Всё понятно на английском, не стесняйтесь, рассказывайте про эти проблемы. Удачи Вам и здоровья ❤

[@MaryPuart]

Спасибо Вам 💔

[@Laurelberninteriors]

Thank you for sharing your story, Mary. By the way, you speak English better than most Americans. I had a mild version of what you went through for many years. It was constant calorie restriction, then, like you, my body would cry (more like scream) out for carbs, so I'd eat too much and then try not to eat the next day...I'd lose the weight and then gain it all back. So, I would yo-yo the same 15-20 lbs over and over. Finally, when I met my husband, it all calmed down, and now in my mid-60s, I've been fine for the last 36 years. I still love ballet, but I'm horrified to hear this kind of abuse still goes on. Instead of berating and calling adolescent girls insulting names, how about having a nutritionist at the school come up with sensible, healthy meal plans for the students who are still GROWING, for God's sake! Of course, starvation diets totally mess up one's metabolism, so the moment we stop starving ourselves, the weight comes back on very quickly. But, like you, after a gradual change, we find our healthy weight and the vicious cycle stops because our bodies are well-nourished and not wanting for more. Thank you again for sharing this important story. It takes courage to share it as openly, as you have. I'm so glad you're doing well now. Here's to a happy and healthy New Year!

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your story! I’m glad you’re better now too 💔

[@the.front.project]

Thank you for sharing your story. I will always be here to support you! Let’s change the world through one conversation or one story at a time ❤

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much, Celeste 💔

[@victoriabarker4577]

Wow. You poor darling. What a destructive, cruel environment and all kudos to you for getting through this. Much love and healing to you to live your best life ❤️❤️❤️.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you 💔

[@beataestelle]

Thank you for sharing, it is so honest. As a ballet dancer, I really can see how ballet has changed how we see our bodies. We also so carefully take in remarks from teachers and peers, and we tend to not forget these comments. It is healing to hear these stories.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you 💔❤️

[@juanjosefarina]

This, sadly, happens because the school is raising little kids as top elite athletes, and that's a tough and cruel thing to do. Specially since no one knows perfectly how to teach classical dance but rather they know how to force classical dance technique, which gives good results, but is a very rough path, and in this process they enforce body conditions too (which are required in the industry, and it makes sense, but again, these are little kids)

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you for your message 🙏🏻💔 agreed, but I definitely think that standards which lead so many young girls to such a trauma (and I even knew a girl who ended up by suic*de) need to be changed. Standards were not like this even 40-50 years ago and they’re sick and not healthy right now.

[@Mancalashawty]

I’m not a dancer but I started tearing up when you did.. it’s so upsetting how badly this affected you. The beauty of ballet is tainted by the horrible mistreatment of the dancers. I’m so happy you are recovering and thank you for sharing💛

[@lisarozova7099]

Wow, thank you for speaking up. I had the same experience at the Academy, and this is horrible that this is still happening. I graduated in 2000

[@christinerosenguyen6636]

You are very courageous to share your story! You are beautiful, and we are so thankful you are helping others heal.

[@Ava_ballet8]

thank you. I look up to many of the Mariinski dancers, but the thing that destroys me the most Is knowing that I will just never look like them. With My body type and genetics I know that I can't live and look like them,but they're the gold standard.

[@Ava_ballet8]

don't get me wrong I still love them and look up to them! they cant choose their body type so I try not to get upset/jealous at them.

[@Cybernaut76]

@@Ava_ballet8 Dont take such pressure and stress about looks! Remember that beauty often is in the eye of beholder. In other words, a large part of it is subjective. Whom you look at with jealousy, may be not so attractive to someone else while you are fabulously beautiful to them. All you ever needed was do well enough to become a ballerina. A majority of human beings cannot do that, I think.

[@Ava_ballet8]

@@Cybernaut76 Thanks❤‍🩹

[@yunonnelemora9295]

I was tried in a Russian-style school. I’m not even a professional ballet dancer now, but my years in training were still significantly impacting my current mindset. They were both the best and the worst memories of my childhood, which made it so complicated, because I couldn’t just call it “trauma” and package it away. I’m still processing it in therapy, but thank you so so much for bravely sharing your story.

[@embartrum8036]

I wish you much happiness and recovery. Just as disordered eating is a mind set so is self love and acceptance. Recovery is a journey and journeys are best when we adopt a curious mind and notice how fear disables us. May your future be a beautiful journey.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much 💔

[@gaiajones4963]

I haven’t danced for five years, and being normal weight feels so foreign to me and I can’t help feeling self conscious. Especially if people comment on that after I eat and I have a “food baby” if you will. I didn’t start having regular periods until I was sixteen and even then they were very light and I had anemia. As I didn’t eat meat regularly. Hearing your story makes me feel not as unvalidated. Thank you.

[@champigranja1179]

I cried when you cried because I remember how the teachers used to bully me as a dance student, always telling me how big my hips were, or that my thighs looked like those of a football player. I thought I was fat and now, almost 20 years later, I see my pictures from that time, and I was totally not! By the way, you are so, so beautiful. I send my best wishes.

[@dsszerothlaw]

This is horrendous abuse. Do most ballet dancers develop eating disorders? Do the male dancers suffer the same kind of abuse and pressure? Generally they just look muscular, not dangerously underweight. I had heard that female dancers often develop eating disorders as a result of the pressure to stay extremely thin and light. Thank you for sharing your journey to recovery. Is there the same abuse, insults, pressure at ballet schools in the UK? Does anyone on here know?

[@MaryPuart]

A bigger half for sure 🙏🏻 and yes, mostly women from what I saw Thank you 💔🙏🏻

[@rachelm79]

I think you are so courageous to speak openly about these experiences. I also think that people like you, who have experienced trauma in these kinds of schools, talk about it, so that things can change for the better. Brava to you, and I wish you so much luck on your healing journey. Peace to you.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much! 💔

[@EstrellaTarot]

How did i come here? Don't know but i wanted to let you know that I love you deeply. I see your light. You are such a beautiful being, please, don't forget the joy of dancing. You are made for sharing your joy. I feel you.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you 💔

[@Cybernaut76]

Perhaps Maria Iavrian attended Vaganova too? She made a Tiktok video or two about her experiences as a victim of mental abuse while training to become a ballerina. She did not mention Vaganova though if I remember correct, she and probably some other ballerinas blamed Russian teachers of being horribly mean.

[@emileasmontaite2479]

I am so incredibly grateful that you shared this story 😢❤️

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your kind words 💔

[@cmilus892]

You are a very inspiring and courageous person. Thank you for speaking out.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you 💔

[@RikodiusRex]

I'm proud of you for speaking up! ❤️

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you 💔

[@nnnnnnnnnnn7292]

I feel very sorry for you, girl. I was one of those wish-to-be ballerinas and went through 7 years of dayly training. But I just couldn't manage to be thin enough (which was upsetting enough). It took me decades to finally understand what and how this all happened. To become a healthy ballerina you need several factors: 1. Excellent body and body-parts made for ballet (you can develop these things only that far...). My body abilities would have been great for 100 years ago ballet. But not for what is expected these days. (shouldn't be in ballet). 2. Healthy and strong mental health. There should be no unbearable childhood traumas. One can appear to be happy and healthy. But deep inside this person is deeply traumatised without strong coping mechanisms. There is no way he or she can survive this kind of life. (shouldn't do ballet). . Ballet is very demanding. Both physically and emotionally. This is why there so many people leaving the training sooner or later. . No one explained this to me. I felt failure for years. I suffered from eating disorders. But this was not because of some cruel training. It was because my problems started much earlier. I could not become a ballerina with my background. I feel you also need to look much deeper into your life. The problems are buried much deeper than ballet training.

[@the.front.project]

YOU ARE COURAGEOUS! YOU ARE STRONG!

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you, dear Celeste 💔

[@suem6004]

Might be controversial but it seems as gay men gained control over ballet (and fashion modeling), women were expected to look like underdeveloped girls or teenage males. Ballerinas used to be developed. None of the heroes and legends of the past would cut it today. Reject that misogyny. Developed females are not shameful. Do not live that misogyny. Head held high. Be who you were created to be. All the best.

[@user-jy9rq8nj7q]

You sound absolutely insane by the way, and are being extremely misogynistic yourself implying small chested and narrow hipped and naturally petite and thinner women are not real women.

[@apond]

Thank you for sharing your story with such courage and sensitivity to others. I am a counsellor and found it helpful to learn what was happening in your mind. It sounded like journaling has helped you process your experience.

[@momiamok-v4y]

I feel sorry. I graduated Vaganova 25 years ago and and never had such a problems since i was naturally thin. The ballet for asthenic people not for normal girls. It can be so traumatic then you have even 2-3 kilos adds or then you misnutrient yourself trying to be in good form. I really hope so much you feel well and healthy, your life is much more important then any art

[@juliatucker4562]

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. I am in rhythmic gymnastics, so of course not the exact same, but similar. I am trying not to skip meals anymore thanks to this video; I still have a hard time because of the environment and comments about weight in gymnastics, but I know trying to starve now won't help me. So thank you. P.S. - I think you speak beautifully :). I am learning Russian now and have a hard time speaking it still.

[@ellenmaria2322]

Thank you for sharing. You are helping so many. Send you much love and healing ❤

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much 💔

[@a.phillips6892]

I’ve had eating disorder since very young. To this day I prepare food and end up throwing it away. I feel guilty for wasting so much food, but can’t control it. I am still dancing, but hate the way I look and always will.

[@annwatson6125]

I had bulemic for 20 years...its okay - for one thing - you'll get stronger as time goes by if you keep fighting. And don't feel ashamed neither. Its okay. Bulimia causes depression...while you get further away from it - you will not be so depressed.

[@MaryPuart]

I’m so sorry this happened to you

[@RemoteHealingTherapies]

You are loved. You are not alone. 💙

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much 💔❤️

[@Minimeowzilla]

Oh wow what a scary experience! That is the problem with having a single or even a couple of narrow beauty standards! It's like we either have to be stick thin models/ballerinas, or voluptuous, plastic surgically implanted porn stars! I know this is not what you intended but your video has actually made me feel better about flat chested... I've always been insecure about that, and you mean that's actually DESIRABLE in ballet??? 🤯Ya again just goes to show how messed up this is... Glad you're getting help and trying to move on from it all! xoxo

[@user-cjssn0x]

So sorry! I had ED when I was young. I had a good dr. to help me heal. I had lost my period too. It was such a painful time emotionally. Best of luck. I prayed so much to get better and it worked. ❤❤3 years and finally well.

[@WinWin-pc6iw]

Sadly this is also an issue in many other ballet schools and companies. I have heard similar stories from Paris Opera Ballet school and the Royal Ballet. It might be even more brutal in Russia though, with less psychological resources/sensitivity. Sad thing is that very few people naturally have the "perfect ballet physique", it just isn't attainable for most dancers without starving themselves. As much as I love ballet I would not want my child doing ballet.

[@juiceknot]

🙏🏾❤️Thank you so much for sharing your story

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you for listening 💔🙏🏻

[@marianoelmontesdeoca5491]

Thats so sad to hear all the abuses ypu when threw. I am so sorry. I hope this get s the awareness about abusing of power

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you 💔

[@ballet07]

Mary, ignore the haters. ❤

[@MaryPuart]

Easier said, than done, but I will try get used to it 😅💪🏻 haters gonna hate, right

[@lastday4145]

@@MaryPuart in just everything. Is some nice quote. If you havent enemies and criticism you are not important. Because only important and amazing people are meeting with criticism. :P There is great video about "how take care with trolls" but its in Polish, but maybe KZbin algorithm can translate it on russian on english? I think that after watching this, you will feel stronger :) its film helped me a lot

[@MaryPuart]

@@lastday4145 thank you so much!!

[@L-Ondee]

​@@MaryPuart breathe deeply, just leave their comments there. They are obviously not aware that they are the ones who harm themselves most by what they say.

[@MaryPuart]

@@L-Ondee thank you 💔❤️

[@stacy9619]

Я не так хорошо говорю по английски, чтобы сказать точно, напишу на русском. Я занималась танцами в детстве, была худенькая, все ок, но этот абьюз отложился на будущее. Я уже закончила заниматься танцами, прошло несколько лет, я начала набирать вес, и тут то меня накрыла булимия. Я уже 6 лет как вылечилась. только сейчас, в 30 лет, я вернулась к танцам во взрослой любительской студии и я очень счастлива танцевать❤ Профессиональный балет, это как профессиональный спорт. Никто не будет тебя гладить по головке. Это важно понимать и детям, и их родителям. Если ребёнок морально не тянет, даже если невероятно одаренный, надо переходить в любетильский класс и получать удовольствие от процесса. Хоть и никогда не выйти на сцену большого. Я хорошо помню себя, у меня шикарные данные, но я не тянула морально. Неустойчивая психика, слабая самооценка. И вот пожалуйста, булимия. Родители!! Смотрите не на успехи, а на моральное состояние ребёнка ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏 рпп сжирает силы, ресурсы организма и в итоге все равно победит сильнейший. Сильнейший морально.

[@marylee8372]

Thank you for your honesty.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you for your kind words 💔🙏🏻

[@Puggywuggy56]

I totally relate to you. Looking like a skeleton is encouraged. You are treated like you are worthless by these individuals.My pano teacher in Moscow was like that, called me stupid and so on and so forth. I Totally get it. I still get nightmares that piano keys are stuck in my throat. The people that judged me did not look perfect. Being healthy and happy , and it will take some time.My music school was in the same building as ballet studio. Calling someone a cow or a pig is nothing to those women. There is no explanation, it’s unbelievable and inhumane. There are lots of great teachers out there.❤❤❤❤And Vaganova academy is not the centre of the Universe. And to anyone who had an eating disorder, just add more veggies to your diet occasionally, and that’s it. And eat whatever you eat, just not too much sugar to avoid blood sugar spikes.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your message 💔❤️

[@frogtrenchcoat]

i also developed "larger" breasts early in ballet school. did not experience the amount of cruelty you did, but i was the only one in my class that had to wear a sports bra under my trikoo, as the leotards had no breast support. felt very out of place. did not help that i actually did not want breasts to begin with and turned out to be trans.

[@frogtrenchcoat]

i never got quite as far as eating less than 3 meals, but i vividly remember sitting in my room looking at clock feeling the hunger waiting for it to be the time i was allowing myself to eat dinner, since if i ate my fairly small portion right as i got home from school i might've eaten again before i went to sleep.

[@Chocolateblonde]

I always had this wish that I could be a ballerina but I never knew how horrible it can be

[@frogtrenchcoat]

oh you worked in tallinn. i went to see a lot of ballets there while in school. when did you quit? i wonder if i ever saw you dance. im glad we both got out

[@tobe3940]

One question if you don't mind me asking, from afar I feel like a teacher in Vaganova is a really kind and nice one called Sitnikova Irina Alexandrovna. She was even standing up for a girl that Tsiskaridze was screaming bloody murder at in front of everyone who was crying in the back in a rehearsal (and he even violently pushed her arm back when she was trying to warn him that he was out of bounds). Did you know her? Is she nice and respectful to her students? I'm not sure why but I ended up particularly liking her, feeling like she's one of those teachers any decent student would wish to have and felt somewhat envious of her students (I too come from a background where most of my school teachers were petty mental abusive jealous (of their own students) ones that used us students as their punching bags and took out the failures they were in their lives on us so any real teachers who'd be caring and nice to their students are still a rarity to me). I also looked online but there is pretty much nothing on her online not even that many pictures which is a shame. She seems absolutely delightful and an actual pro and so nice unlike some of the abusive ones at Vaganova that have so many pictures and videos taken of them or interviewed for the internet that it's now boring to see them everywhere.

[@MaryPuart]

Hi! That’s funny, because she actually was my nightmare. She was my teacher last year. Probably not for everyone. Btw I saw your other comments, I will answer them soon! Just decided to jump on this one right away

[@danielpinto2722]

@@MaryPuart Hey, another question that's possibly the same kind as this one, I've heard mixed opinions of Ludmila Kovaleva as a teacher, did you have any interaction with her? Was she as harsh and pushing as the other ballet teachers? She seems to be idolized by many former ballerinas which makes me wonder if the considered "natural" ballerinas, on body standards, by the academy are also responsible in some way for helping to prevail this systemic abuse, as they don't apparently struggle with weight and can just turn a blind eye.

[@sararayyy]

Im also study ballet in Russia , its so hard , complicated , russian ballet teachers are cruel!!!!

[@MaryPuart]

I’m so sorry 💔 take care of yourself, please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@JessMassaro-gl3bi]

Thank you for sharing your story 💜

[@vshnram5745]

Please give your body, the temple of your soul and heart, the best care and Love you deserve to receive!!✨💖✨💃✨💖✨ The shortened 60 minutes interview by Gelsey Kirkland says it all. The greatest Mr.B.'s destructive obsession for skinny young girls was none other than his ego.

[@PinkiKiller13]

I just saw your other videos and I think you have a great figure for ballet - lean,slim with beautiful lines. I think these people are crazy for making you lose weight. I’m struggling to this day with this eating disordered pattern - overeating and not eating anything the next day because I wanted to stay slim. If I was in this kind of toxic community I would have developed anorexia for sure. I hope you completely overcome the eating disorders and just be able to eat normally and feel good 🌸

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you so much for your comment 💔 now I’m a bit leaner I guess than I was in my last year in Vaganova or in the theater in Estonia - exactly because now I’m far over from the ED I had while still being in this industry

[@PinkiKiller13]

@@MaryPuart that’s great to hear ! I’ve noticed the same thing ,when I’m not fasting or watching what I eat, I naturally eat less food and think about it only when I’m hungry, out bodies know best what is the best shape for us :)

[@MaryPuart]

@@PinkiKiller13 yas!! It was insane for me - when I was in ballet I craved sweets like crazy, but when I quit I actually stopped wanting them so badly and in result stopped eating them that much. My body lost 12 kg in 2 years after I quit ballet without any diets and workouts 😳 and I felt great

[@lourdesgyan]

One thing people forget, the ballet masters of the post Soviet era had a lot of stress and trauma, the Communist regime had murdered some of their parents and the theatres are a show of the empire, it was a give all attitude or die and be like a typical Soviet puppet citizen. So that hard abusive method of teaching was transmitted.

[@Ruma_Kaalis_Camoran]

How you can gain weight when dancing all day ? I must eat like a like a heavy weight fighter to not get too skinny

[@MaryPuart]

We had girls like you too. Every body is very different and especially when comes stress.

[@Valerie-rf8dg]

Thank you for this so much, i do rhythmic gymnastics but it was a very similar experience to this (i am in a different club now thank god) but i would get so anxious about everything and my weight i had to throw up halfway almost every training and just carry on.

[@MaryPuart]

I’m so sorry 💔 and I’m glad you’re in a better place now!

[@battlehymnoftheempath3610]

Art should be a refuge and give you joy. Discipline is necessary but not to the point where you lose the joy and creativity and become a Machine. Try to explore other forms of art- maybe modern dance or singing to rekindle the joy that was lost by being overworked and abused. I wish you lasting peace.

[@alisonmercer5946]

Great you are telling the truth.

[@Laura-jl7vc]

Thank you for talking about this

[@MaryPuart]

Of course!❤️

[@bonniefranklin6097]

Sadness. Please get well.

[@sharonreichter2537]

This is so sad. You must have loved ballet and it was turned into something horrible for you. It sounds very cruel.

[@viktorijastudio8085]

Sorry to hear that💕🥰like

[@schokoladenritter7969]

If you don't mind me asking, do you know Renata Shakirova? What do you think of her?

[@MaryPuart]

She was my best friend for many years, like a sister to me, more than a friend. She is a brilliant ballerina.

[@MaryPuart]

You can find photos of us together on her Instagram page. The last one is from 2019

[@schokoladenritter7969]

@@MaryPuart She definitely is! She's one of my favorite ballerinas at the Mariinsky right now. So expressive, like the old Soviet dancers.

[@decli5010]

@@MaryPuart I remember seeing you two together on her Instagram, I guess, back from the time when you were still at Vaganova. Love u both! :)

[@MaryPuart]

@@decli5010 thank you 💔

[@TheALLYISLAME]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@MaryPuart]

❤️🙏🏻

[@rgribbonqueen]

In any sport, absolutely every sport, there is a potential for an issue, same for non sporting people. If you want to be healthy and successful at sport you need to seek professional advice for yourself and remember that you are an athlete you need to eat and train like an athlete. Don't wait for someone to tell you how to win it's not going to happen.

[@simaraft7373]

I'm terribly terribly sorry about your suffering and the suffering of other ballet students who developed eating disorders. But... the fact is that ballet is a grueling discipline and requires not just strength of body and mind but actual toughness. Can't escape abuse either. How do you think the legends of the ballet world survived and thrived under the Soviet Union? I myself have no illusion that I'm that tough. Not everyone is. Ballet is not for everyone -- has nothing to do with talent.

[@sp44404]

oh dear, there's no way to justify any abuse happening at any decade. why would we want to glorify the terrible things that happened in the soviet times? especially now that we know there's better ways to push and coach athletes/dancers to their maximum than fear, mental/physical abuse, substance abuse, controlling their eating and personal lives to extreme... and getting mentally or physically ill when being constantly abused isn't a sign of "mental weakness". some damage will eventually happen to everyone. others just hide it better. which is also something we shouldn't glorify or admire...

[@simaraft7373]

@@sp44404 I wasn't glorifying Soviet times. I used them as an example of a lot of horrid abusive things going on that great artists overcame and transcended

[@sp44404]

@@simaraft7373 but just think of how truly great they could've been without all the unnecessary mental and physical pain! and we shouldn't just pay attention on the end result either. dancers are people. again, to make art doesn't mean you need to suffer for it.

[@operaguy1]

Get them off carbohydrates. Fuel on ketones for ballet. Dancers will not be hungry, will be strong and bold.

[@NoirL.A.]

what zodiac sign are you?

[@MaryPuart]

Sagittarius!

[@NoirL.A.]

@@MaryPuart where are you from originally?

[@MaryPuart]

@@NoirL.A. Russia

[@anastasiashuvalova2112]

OMG All ballet beauty is absolutely false. To became ballerina,for what reason in a world? Retire about 40 y.o To put all strength in young ages not into how to develope yourself- personality, ethics, morality, intellectual ity...Instead how to perform a perfect "Sugarplum" or a "ballet Princes".All ballets libretto have a same" shellow love story, without any deep meanings. I tried to watch a "Corsaire " So stupid story ,no any historical accuracy..no morality Makes me cry. So sorry about young people who have a huge ambitions about nothing- to perform a "ballet prince" Good luck for сhanel author.

[@MaryPuart]

Thank you!💔

[@anastasiashuvalova2112]

@@MaryPuart Dear Mary,i hope i didn't offend you.I tried to understand "ballets high meaning",but wasn't successful.Because i read all history about....

[@iamdisappointed1328]

Exactly same stories all the time

[@LucaMorellipiano]

Embrace Maria.

[@MaryPuart]

Dearest Luca!!! Still dreaming of our project together 💔🤞🏻

[@LucaMorellipiano]

@@MaryPuart Me too!

[@MaryPuart]

@@LucaMorellipiano let me know if you will come to the USA🤞🏻

[@laima07]

These teachers proceeded from the fact that you want to become a ballerina, and they helped you with advices to get closer to the ideal of a classical ballerina. How you perceived it that they forced you to be ballerina. But in reality it was you, that wanted be ballerina and they tried to help you . Well, then you didn’t have to go to classical ballet or you had to leave on time so as not to injure yourself. One say, if you pledge, don't hedge. Anyway, good recovery and all the best to you

[@lexstudy4406]

I agree. I was in ballet school since age 4, even tho I was an obese child, just cuz I was extremely flexible and my teacher was kind of "impressed". At the end of junior high, she was the one who told me that I should have left cuz it was a waste of money and time, since I could have never become a dancer (because of my body type). I'm an adult now, and I'm still in contact with her, cuz her discipline, her strictness, is ultimately what got me so far in life. It's never just about ballet. Classical dance is a lifestyle and it's brutal. Not everyone can become a Nureev, but the life lessons you learn while in ballet school have been essential for me.

[@laima07]

@@lexstudy4406 you are absolutely right. E.g. I do Wing Chun and my body hurts all the time, but it is the point, one should get used to it to develop further

[@L-Ondee]

I can not agree on this at all. Verbal and/or physical abuse is no help in your career. In any career. In ballet people are being helt responsible for the built of their bodies and their looks . And we are speaking of children in most cases! If you had teachers whose advice was helpful I am glad for you. A good dance class absolutely teaches you philosophy, arts, physics and strength of mind and body. I was fortunate enough myself to have made that experience. Look at most of the comments here and you get a fair picture of what is happening in the ballet world. Women need medical treatment, often during years, because they attended ballet school. And you say it is their own fault??? You can't be serious!

[@andalilo]

Wth is wrong with you??

[@Mindyourlanguagedear]

I kind of feel this is expected in any seriously competitive field. It’s a choice to be there and endure it to get to the top. I gained a ton of weight when I turned 12. Such is life. And it ruined my life to some extent. But i certainly wouldn’t expect “the machine” to feel sorry for me or make adjustments. PS the dog breed is greyhound.

[@MaryPuart]

Yes, I feel like this too 🙏🏻 everyone is different. At least I got “sorry” one time from one of two of my nightmare people there, my main classical ballet teacher in the last years of academy - she was drunk and called me at night. And yes, I was super happy when a couple years after I graduated I got a call from one of my favorite teachers there and he told me how she got fired. Yes, that was a great sort of relief for me. I do believe the adjustments will be made, but maybe not in Russia yet, that’s true. Thank you for the breed naming, good to know, it’s not my native language, still learning Thank you for your message!

[@orbitwol]

@@MaryPuart I don't know why this person decided to say this to you when you so candidly described the abuse that you went through, but we can't just throw up our arms and say "that's how it is" in this kind of situation. Even if it's "expected" or you "chose" to learn ballet, you certainly didn't "choose" to suffer unnecessarily for all that time. It's not right for this kind of thing to be happening to young girls and women, and we need to try our best to prevent it from happening in the future. Change can happen if we make it happen. Thank you, Mary, for sharing what you endured with us. Hopefully the ballet community can take steps to make things better. Wishing you peace and healing 💕

[@MaryPuart]

@@orbitwol thank you so much for your kind words! Yes, exactly! If not people, who started to speak up there wasn’t a “meetoo” movement for example now. And unfortunately I dealt with much worse than a comment like this, so I’m okay 🙏🏻 and it’s so funny how people are saying “no one forced you, etc” because we’re talking about children here. I was a child, so we all others. Children often don’t understand what’s right and what’s wrong, especially when they want to become a ballerina/athlete etc and used to how system is treating them, thinking about this as the norm. Thank you very much 💔

[@MaryPuart]

@@orbitwol * so were all others

[@belkyhernandez8281]

Children do not have agency. Also, depending on your circumstance, an adult may not have agency in a situation particularly against people and institutions which have more power. There is no excuse for abuse. Abuse is just an indication of the incompetence of the abuser.

[@rgribbonqueen]

Why will I give you the best advice when my sister my daughter my whatever could take your place tomorrow? That's why a medical professional is your best source of advice

[@MaryPuart]

In my video I’m saying that I’m already in a therapy with a psychologist 😉 but thank you so much for your advice and comment

[@MaryPuart]

And I’m talking about my past here, I don’t have an ED anymore, but mental trauma is strong, and yep, I’m already working on it.

[@lilydewinters4729]

Это очень странно, потому что я выпустился в 1991 году и никогда не слышал и не испытывал ничего подобного. Они были строгими, и я много плакала, но это не оскорбление. У вас психическое заболевание, и очень жаль, что вам пришлось столкнуться с этим во время учебы в школе, но школа не стала причиной вашего психического заболевания. Вы должны получить некоторую помощь, потому что вы везде указываете пальцем, как и все остальные должны взять на себя ответственность. Вы должны взять на себя ответственность за себя. Вам нужно вернуть свою жизнь, взять ее под контроль и перестать показывать пальцем. Никто в школе не говорил тебе страдать расстройством пищевого поведения. Вы сделали это самостоятельно, потому что именно так вы справились со своим чувством незащищенности. Ваганова была как семья, так и осталась. Не говорите того, что не соответствует действительности.

[@nonameface90]

I see Vaganova B*tches Defense comes out strong lol ...'no one at school told you to have ilness'. How about teachers telling you to lose more weight? To pose ultimatums about it? To punish you for gaining weight? To take away food? Sound like the school contributed greatly to the illness and mental state the author of the video was in. Also, projecting your own experience upon other person whose experience is vastly different isn't cute. Nor is your ignorance and living in lalaland of Vaganova being heaven on earth.

[@lilydewinters4729]

@@nonameface90 Извините, но это не только мой опыт, но и опыт сотен и сотен других. Единственный раз, когда мы видим, как люди заходят в социальные сети и лгут, - это когда их исключают, и они плохо это воспринимают. С самого начала школа говорит нашим родителям быть очень осторожными в принятии этого решения, потому что это будет эмоционально тяжело для нас, и еще хуже, когда мы делаем это на полпути, но потом нас исключают, потому что у нас нет таланта. Нам, студентам, это становится ясно каждый день, потому что тела меняются. Может быть, вы слишком грудастая, может быть, у вас нет хорошей явки, может быть, вы просто не способны выполнить то, что от вас ожидают… и, что еще хуже, может быть, у вас нет таланта. Такое случается, и это может случиться с каждым из нас. Должна ли девушка весом 300 фунтов оставаться просто так? Никакая компания не взяла бы ее, потому что ни один танцор не мог ее поднять. Она не сможет выступать эстетично, и, к сожалению, это не то, что хочет видеть публика… это некрасиво. Репутация школы ложится на учителей, а учителя несут ответственность за нашу работу и способности. Есть причина, по которой школа продолжает пользоваться спросом. Времена меняются, а Ваганова остается прежней…. И именно это привело к ее успеху как школы. Я сочувствую ей и сочувствую ей, потому что знаю, что это тяжело, и у меня было много друзей, которые тоже не справились. Я могу поддержать то, что это тяжело… но я не могу поддержать ложь, которую она говорит. Репутация школы ложится на учителей, а учителя несут ответственность за нашу работу и способности. Есть причина, по которой школа продолжает пользоваться спросом. Времена меняются, а Ваганова остается прежней…. И именно это привело к ее успеху как школы. Я сочувствую ей и сочувствую ей, потому что знаю, что это тяжело, и у меня было много друзей, которые тоже не справились. Я могу поддержать то, что это тяжело… но я не могу поддержать ложь, которую она говорит. Никто никогда не отбирал еду у студента. Да, нам говорят, что нужно оставаться в форме и следить за своей фигурой. У них есть ответственность перед нами, потому что они знают, как сильно мы хотим добиться успеха… и они пытаются подтолкнуть нас так далеко, как мы можем, потому что, если вы думаете, что школа - это тяжело, реальный мир еще тяжелее и еще более жесток. Многие из исключенных девочек возлагают вину на школу и указывают пальцем. Конечно, они не делали этого, пока были в школе… только когда их исключили. Было несколько девочек, которых исключили, потому что у них были расстройства пищевого поведения, и они отказывались набирать вес. Их положили в больницу и исключили из школы. Они не хотят, чтобы у нас были расстройства пищевого поведения. Они хотят, чтобы мы были здоровы, и они хотят, чтобы мы могли иметь самоконтроль и дисциплину. Если у вас нет этих двух вещей, у вас нет карьеры в балете. После школы никто не скажет вам, что вы должны оставаться в форме, никто не скажет вам, что вы должны практиковаться… вы должны делать все это самостоятельно… вы должны быть в состоянии подтолкнуть себя и быть ответственный. В конечном счете, вы либо добьетесь успеха, либо потерпите неудачу из-за ваших собственных действий... это не просто школа... это школа, которая готовит нас к нашей карьере, и поэтому они говорят нам и нашим родителям, что мы потеряем нашу детство…

[@lilysinclair4348]

Looks like she deleted her comment lol. Maybe because she realised how stupid she sounds. Anyways, I agree with you.

[@nonameface90]

@@lilydewinters4729 it's honestly quite funny and ironic in a way to see the duality portrayed by your gut-wrenching tale: you stressed so much how it's all on you, the discipline, maintaining 'the look', training etc., yet all is for the sole glory of the company, the company is the brain of everything. Imagine losing whole personality, your own, basically the autonomy of your own body for the company and after that, for the public manipulated by propaganda of one, true and justified look of the ballerina. Because the success, the glory, the main roles are not your own by the end of the day, they all belong to the COMPANY. I guess that's why the 'education' process takes so long: training body is one thing, but training mind to function like a dependent slave of the idea is another. Whatever suits you though, I can't dictate others what brings them pride, happiness or fulfilment. PS. At this point, it's your words versus others' words. Accusing someone of lying just because YOU had different experience while being there is just lame. But I guess the mental exercise and mindset of academy puppet gained there stays with most people for life.

[@lilydewinters4729]

@@nonameface90 Вот что такое Ваганова... Это не значит, что вы идете туда, не зная, чего ожидать… потому что вы точно знаете, чего ожидать. Причина, по которой девочки и мальчики приходят учиться в школу, заключается в том, что они не просто хотят быть танцорами. Они хотят быть прима-балеринами и востребованными танцорами. В Вагановой вы овладеете аналитическим складом ума, научитесь свободе самовыражения, у вас будет внимание к деталям, разностороннее обучение и сильная техническая база. Мало что изменилось за последние 20 лет. Если вы хотите стать артистом балета, путь для всех одинаков. Напряженная жизнь артиста балета начинается с поступления в балетную школу. Дети должны пройти строгие вступительные экзамены, на которых проверяются их здоровье, телосложение, гибкость, координация и осанка, а также их музыкальность и способность вертеть ногами. Как только решение принято, ребенок должен очень быстро вырасти. Оказывается, та красота, которую мы видим по телевизору, - это результат многолетних упорных тренировок изо дня в день… это единственный способ. Задача танцевальной школы состоит не столько в том, чтобы научить ребенка танцевать (что можно сделать за гораздо меньшее время), сколько в том, чтобы превратить его тело в инструмент для создания образа на сцене. Конкуренция жесткая, и ребенок очень рано понимает, что вокруг есть более одаренные конкуренты, и педагоги указывают на этих детей. Только настоящим бойцам удается выжить. Это просто природа зверя… не всем дано понять это… Я вижу, что ты не понимаешь, и это нормально.

[@ПолинаРаева-й2н]

I just don't see any sense or meaning in complaining about all this. Ballet is a lifetime commitment. No one forces a girl or a boy to join a ballet Academy be it Vaganova or any other. If yoy want to dance on stage in the best theatres then sacrifice a lot! Ballet is an exquisite art, not some kind of getaway resort.

[@sp44404]

to make art doesn't mean to suffer. to succeed, doesn't mean to suffer. yes, you need to do sacrifices, sacrifice time, sacrifice effort and feel discomfort from time to time, but to ruin a perfectly healthy CHILD'S body shouldn't be an required sacrifice that has to be made to have "success" in any type of sports/arts. the standards need to change, if we define success by forcing malnourishment on underage girls. you want strong dancers with long careers, not 20 year olds quitting because their bones are as frail as a 60 year old's.

[@user-jy9rq8nj7q]

Because it isn't necessary and leads to short lived careers either from burn out, injury and health issue, or mental health issues that also lead to body failure. Because you can be the thin look "needed" and not be starving yourself, but uneducated "teachers" "schools" and russia especially has an obsession with shaming those who do it properly, no doubt jealousy, and have created a culture where you will feel shame for eating- as an athlete, not even drinking water is okay, then you will hold water weight from dehydration and they can verbally abuse you pretending its not their own lack of education, when they really need to go learn basic biology and sport science.

[@andalilo]

You sound like a teacher or person in charge of dancers. You make a good point, but the name calling and insults are truly not necessary.

[@yana7743]

Well, how did you want to eat everything and be a great ballerina? A strange lady, all athletes, ballet dancers go through restrictions. It is initially clear that this is hard work and it will not be easy. If you don't like it, go away, and whoever plows will shine on stage later. Try to find a ballet school where they will tell you to eat whatever you want and do whatever you want, this is work and initially once you went to ballet, it means you were aware of what awaits you. This is how all ballet schools in the world work. And don't denigrate the greatest ballet school in the world! 🇷🇺

[@adelyashahidi]

I love how it’s usually Russian people themselves who defend the abuse and abusers. Well then, I hope nothing ever changes, I guess that IS the only way to deal with these people. And of course, when you go into ballet at 3-4-5 y/o you FULLY understand what you are getting yourself into😂 BRILLIANT argument

[@ChinChannelOne]

Buy eating everything you mean one apple for dinner 🤣 c'mon man, switch on your brains.

[@nata1547]

This is her experience as well as many others. Standards in ballet are toxic and this is known by most of the ppl today. Your comment is invalidating, stupid and avoiding reality.

[@nonameface90]

Vaganova B*tches coming with Kool Aid I see lol. Ballet, gymnastics and figure skating, the unholy trinity of abuse in Rassija where people will defend abuse as 'methods' and doping as 'grandpa's tea'.

[@MaryPuart]

@@adelyashahidi thank you so much 💔 exactly! I’m actually not surprised to get these messages from Russian audience 🤦🏻‍♀️