EFAP TV: Reacting to The Acolyte S01E01 - Lost/Found

[@silastipton9982]

My favorite part is when they show that knives are far more capable of killing people than lightsabers

[@matthewcollins4773]

I'm starting to think that lightsabres are actually healing sticks that improve your health, and Qui-Gon just had an unfortunate allergy.

[@wheeliebin18]

@@matthewcollins4773 Qui-Gon was killed by an overdose of healing.

[@annatardlordofderps9181]

​​@@wheeliebin18 healed so much that he died. Like an integer overflow.

[@LoneWolf_Cub_Ogami_Itto]

Why no Katana + Wakizashi?

[@emkenobi]

She was stabbed directly in the heart what did you expect?

[@jedibusiness66]

“Your eyes can deceive you. Do not trust them.” Same guy: “I SAW her die.”

[@zscout1288]

Also the Jedi have no clue that she had a twin while knowing that she had a twin

[@brettholcomb3763]

A Jedi who struggles to live up to their own teachings...hmmm

[@kenloretz3871]

A writer that can't keep their narrative straight...hmmm

[@brettholcomb3763]

@@kenloretz3871 Well, "your focus determines your reality." Or, that's what they say anyway.

[@kabirarya5381]

Now I might just be extremely tolerant and good faith, but that could just be the point of the line, that the jedi master is contradicting himself and not judging his own eyes by the standard which he preaches they should be judged. Though maybe I am giving to much credit to the writers.

[@Arko777777]

Remember, impaling with hot plasma blade in a torso can't kill a person, but a dinky dagger in a non vital area can.

[@ghostprojekt]

It's all about the swing-swing-stab combo

[@TrailblazerProductionsLLC]

@@ghostprojekt Like a video game! Time it right, and you can get critical hit points!

[@f3ynman44]

​@@ghostprojektStab. Twist. Gut. Come at me!

[@JForsha]

“A non vital area” Didn’t it go right where her heart is?

[@Arko777777]

@@JForsha Pretty sure it was too high to hit her heart. Still, Trinity killed herself with how much she toyed with her anyway.

[@BigBroTejano]

“The Jedi live in a dream where no one can kill them… neither steel nor laser” So… did the creators of this show just forget that the Mandalorians are still a thing? The legendary warriors who can go toe to toe with a Jedi using steel and lazers. That these guys waged a war of conquest across the galaxy where they killed Jedi by the hundreds if not thousands.

[@enkiduthewildman]

Not to mention the girl he's talking to literally five minutes ago killed a jedi with a knife! Or are we pretending that the knife wasn't steel?

[@MediumRareOpinions]

​@@enkiduthewildman To put that in the best faith possible, they seem to be saying that in reference to the Jedi's mythologised imperviousness to such weapons which isn't true. However this is itself inconsistent with the Mandolorians legendary conflict with the Jedi, which showed to all that they could be killed with both steel and Laser.

[@slaapt]

I wouldn't call that "best faith possible." That is a normal interpretation since it is explicitely called "living in a dream." Which means reality is different. The whole Mandalorian bit is a completely different bag of issues, but the acolyte killing a jedi with a weapon contradicts nothing about the "jedi think they are impervious" statement.

[@matane2465]

That's Legends. Disney Star Wars Mandalorians are pathetic. See Season 3 of The Mandalorian.

[@GleamingStar435]

@@enkiduthewildman The knife was probably Beskar, not steel lol

[@JD-ld1xe]

How would a Jedi Master not be able to sense such a simple trick of "hiding a 2nd knife behind my back", you really think someone like Yoda would be fooled by a simple sleight of hand?

[@Phoenix0F8]

hey, swapping a knife between hands worked on the Night King looooool

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Obi Wan sensed that bitch about to use a blaster on him in Attack of the Clones. But hey, it was a woman so maybe the rules vary between genders?

[@creeperslayer241]

Remember how Qui Gon basically explained that a Jedi has such insane reflexes because they can, even by a few seconds, sense the future? That even the untrained Anakin was subconsciously doing it and it's a way of them realising who's force sensitive. Which he proves by catching the tongue of the worst creature, without looking. A tongue that was moving much faster than someone could throw a knife. Remember how Jedi are trained to dodge things without looking and using just their senses? How that's the thing they teach to children. To block and dodge without using their eyes. And yet this Jedi master, can't predict the most basic move of distract and attack. Nevermind use their mystical abilities to detect and avoid it.

[@gottesurteil3201]

Jedi wrote the book on slight of hand. It's so frustrating.

[@ProjectRedfoot]

The Jedi lack object permanence

[@robotjones6434]

There's no actual investigation to find the murderer like you guys mentioned, but I love how this assassin with the ugly hair killed a Jedi master and they send a single Knight to go arrest her....AND bring the witness within killing range. It's like sending a single officer and a trainee to arrest someone who murdered the police chief.

[@1stmorgoth289]

Yeah. Its something that only makes sense in and out of universe if anyone including the jedi already know that she isnt the murder. Its one kind of stupid to think that this Mechanik on the other side of the Galaxie could be the murder its a whole diffrent kind of stupid the way they act on this assumption.

[@lordmontymord8701]

And then these Jedi - the people best suited for guarding an assassin with force powers decide to not be on the transport ship. Them aknowledging later on that this was a dumb move doesn't help much when we don't learn WHY they decided to not guard her until they arrive at Coruscant. They believe she was able to kill a Jedi Master, but surely she won't be able to escape from this ship without an actual security force.

[@nedia8259]

Worse than a trainer, the absurd nature of your comparison isn’t actually extreme enough for it to be comparable

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

More like sending a off-duty mall cop to take on someone who killed off an entire Swat team.

[@Yogurt_Fingers]

"A Jedi doesn't pull her weapon unless prepared to kill!" Homeboy proceeds to use his weapon as a flashlight..

[@Jedi_Spartan]

Also flashbacks/flashforwards to all the times Obi Wan uses his Lightsaber to LITERALLY disarm people...

[@Arko777777]

I'd play a devil's advocate and assume that's just her warped perspective given she was hurt by the Jedi and not an actual rule the Order is going by.

[@m-copyright]

Well at least he didn't use it as a fleshlight.

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

I'm 100% positive that "A Jedi doesn't pull her weapon unless prepared to kill!" explicitly means in combat. It's not like it was ever meant to imply if someone just accidentally ignites the sword, they HAVE to go find someone to kill. What if they're doing maintenance on it? Do they NEED to kill someone? What kind of braindead take is this? It's not just a weapon, it's a tool. We even see that in the prequels when they're used to cut through doors/walls.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

He is ALWAYS ready to kill. Checkmate haters

[@Dave_L913]

The timeline from Carrie Anne Moss's death to OSHAs Fugitive scene only makes sense if you think of it as a Law & Order episode that takes place entirely in Manhattan and every location is within a 30 minute drive

[@kylekatarn5964]

Dammit, stop making so much sense. If you have watched any of the FBI shows (which are written by Dick Wolf acolytes), they are painfully poor.

[@darwinxavier3516]

That's the problem with treating traveling across the galaxy like fast travel in a video game.

[@KRobinson-ko1ne]

I guess technically we always had fast travel in Star Wars but I do worry about it eventually treated as teleportation

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

I got news for ya. That line from Ice Cube really is a meme.

[@darwinxavier3516]

@@KRobinson-ko1ne No we're already there. I was referring to the teleportation type of video game fast travel.

[@darkpuppetlordful]

It's strangely fitting a character named Osha experienced a fall thats only possible because the Jedi ice temple is filled with OSHA violations (no guard rails)

[@reignman30]

That's the origin story of O.S.H.A xD. Like the Amber alert, it's named after the victim that got it started. We need railings up in here.

[@annatardlordofderps9181]

Star Wars Episode 2. This is a settling with known shapeshifters. You can hardly use eyewitness testimony in the real world. Eye witnesses in Star Wars would essentially be useless as both the culprit *and* witness could be another person entirely and same person simultaneously.

[@Jerthy100]

I lost my shit when the green lady was like "the evidence against her is strong" .... lol, you got one random dude saying shit. Is that really all that is needed in this universe?

[@Unknown-hb3id]

Ep 2 also did the "assassin hunting a Jedi in a bar" scene so much better too. Just a quick swish to the hands and she's toast! Obi-Wan's casual single-swing W that ended the threat to civilians VS Trinity's drawn out casualty-mess and death

[@darthdragonborn1552]

@@Unknown-hb3idJesus H Christ I can’t believe I forgot that. These braindead zombies saying how cool logical it is that she fights her in the bar with no saber, which of course leads her to allow the chick to almost kill a civilian, Obi-wan immediately takes down the suspect without killing them.

[@lordmontymord8701]

@@Unknown-hb3id I believe Trinity just didn't care. Was probably challenged by idiots every day. They have to prove first they can do anything at all before she even gets her lazy ass out of the chair. I love the fact that she doesn't even really tries to end this quickly after the Acolyte has used her own force powers against her and slammed her into the wall. Reminded me a little bit of Obi-Wan smiling when confronting Griveous, despite the fact that Griveous killed many Jedi before. In both cases they are way too arrogant ...

[@Unknown-hb3id]

@@lordmontymord8701 I hope you're not serious. The whole drive of the masked villain (from what we've seen) is to break the idea that the Jedi are untouchable, so Jedi at this time would more often go unchallenged. The whole table even laughed at the assassin chick. I hate the fact that the Jedi isn't acting like a Jedi. There's room for personality, but she should immediately cut that when innocents are being hurt in the moment. Obi-Wan confronting Grievous on Utapau was an entirely different circumstance. Obi-Wan literally dropped in there to draw the attention of Grievous and all the Separatist forces there - specifically to act as a huge distraction until his own clone army arrives. And it worked perfectly, resulting in fewer casualties on his side, saw the death of Grievous, and was the last major battle to end the Clone Wars (minus Sidious' bonus Order 66 stuff). In normal circumstances, Obi-Wan uses his personality to benefit in both diplomacy and to get into his enemy's heads. And he still keeps his discipline, seriousness, and effectiveness as a Jedi while caring for the innocent.

[@noank9175]

At The Acolyte's reported budget of 180 million dollars, you could make: 12 Godzilla Minus Ones 3 Jokers (with some money to spare) 9 Silence of the Lambs (not sure if this one is adjusted for inflation to be fair) or... 12,000 Paranormal Activities. Glad to see the world's largest entertainment company is spending their money wisely.

[@BaldorfBreakdowns]

And two of the Lord of the Rings movies!

[@Notsogoodguitarguy]

Normal Jedi: can deflect hundreds of laser rifle shots while backflipping and flying through the air and talking and shit. Trinity-Jedi: Literally can't focus on two things at once.

[@Jerthy100]

Exactly, the universe over and over established that Jedi, even Padawans are able to comfortably deflect blaster bolts from multiple sources at once, better jedi can even deflect them back at the attackers. FFS it's established that it's one of the first things they learn. Even while blinded. Meanwhile Trinity - a MASTER Jedi gets rekt by 2 slow-ass knives thrown at the same time by same person. This show is fucking amazing, i can't wait to get more. I love dumpster fires.... Hahahahaha i love when my favorite franchises get massacred by absolutely deranged writers...... i love it all.....

[@axiss5840]

One of my favourite sequences in Attack of the Clones is where Mace Windu leaps 20 meters into the air and deflects two blaster shots while tangled in his still-burning jedi robe. Trinity could have just... moved.

[@Unknown-hb3id]

I can't stop thinking of Clone Wars (2003) Obi-Wan using the Force to deflect dozens of little darts when fighting against Durge, and Trinity can't grab a couple knives she expects that're coming.

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

I'd do a Ryan and excuse her because she's a woman, but even that wouldn't make sense.

[@Lalle524]

​@@Unknown-hb3id Durge was a menace in the show where Jedi are one man armies with the right experience. Crazy to compare that to... This.

[@CommanderZx2]

In a universe where lightsabers are less lethal than small throwing knives.

[@LukasJampen]

That was so small I doubt that would even be lethal or incapacitating. Also the force did fuck all in that moment. If jedi can block shots they can avoid, block or push a small knife away with the force.

[@7TheWhiteWolf]

Legit, I’m expecting Han Solo to show up in future content nowadays.

[@CommanderZx2]

@@7TheWhiteWolf I wager that one of the twins is going to get run through with a lightsaber as an episode cliff hanger and yet miraculously be mostly fine the next episode.

[@MattR8605]

@@LukasJampencompetent Force users can redirect a person jumping at them, much less a throwing knife

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

@@LukasJampen Shove a toothpick into a heart and see how lethal it is. A knife doesn't need to be huge to rupture a heart that's only like 2 inches beneath the skin.

[@dauren7328]

Imagine we followed "Trinity" for a whole episode; watching her protect people, helping them out, even maybe inspiring/ mentoring them with her wisdom, then we just see her turn with a look of concern to see a shadowy figure and cut to title card over the sounds of fighting, explosions and a blood curdling scream from the bystanders and let the audience use their imagination as to what happened.

[@noobishtitan9714]

That wouldn’t fill the fight scene quota

[@Squeeble00]

Better yet, have all of the people she had helped be murdered by a jedi hunter trying to get to her, and show the effect it would have. It'd do a much better job of outlining the 'don't attack jedi with weapons' thing that they're clearly aping in the most retarded way from the EU. Though they wouldn't be able to have their misundertood anti hero that way

[@LN997-i8x]

It feels very similar to the way Vulcans were portrayed in Enterprise: intended to be very, very wise, but instead coming across as smug assholes.

[@HerohammerStudios]

The scream sounds like it'd be really stupid, but there's certainly an idea there

[@Shineinpoverty]

@@noobishtitan9714 and show's very limited budget

[@hassathunter2464]

"She got a twin" "Soooo... why didn't we go after her?" "Oopsie?" Worst. law enforcement. Ever.

[@Dagenspear]

I think it's said it's not in her file and that she was thought to be dead.

[@zscout1288]

How can it not be in her file and the Jedi know that she has a twin

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Especially when there's witnesses that state the girl was on that ship all that time, and would never have been there or acted the way she did if she had. "They thought she was dead" yet they never saw a body. And somehow they narrowed her down to that one person, who just happens to be part of a pair of twins. In a galaxy with trillions of life forms.

[@frankvandorp2059]

"She got a twin" "Soooo... why didn't we go after her?" "So the plot can happen."

[@brettholcomb3763]

@@zscout1288 Well, four Jedi knew. Why didn't they put it in her file? An intriguing mystery.

[@xenohusky5979]

I got into a long argument with some dude on Drinker's channel about the opening fight; he was trying to convince me that it was fine and that the jedi shouldn't have done literally ANYTHING else to stop Mae. There's SO much the jedi could have done differently: grab Mae with the force and slam her against the wall or floor to knock her out, cut her hands off with her lightsaber, or throw the knife away from the alien instead of just standing there. All the dude could say was that jedi are peacekeepers that "use restraint." Using restraint or being a peacekeeper does not mean doing fuck all and letting the bad guy win, it means reserving your power until a threat has made the danger they pose to you or others clear, and using the resources at your disposal to eliminate said threat before it can do harm. This show's writing is already atrocious.

[@Avarn388]

@xenohusky5979 Even if someone wants to use the restraint argument, the fact that Jedi Trinity allowed the assassin to just go to down on people without doing anything is just horrendous writing for a Jedi. Have her at least use the force to counter Mae and then Mae counter with her own power. That could she been a cool way to reveal she’s force sensitive and also have a better means to facilitate a hand to hand fight. Because telekinesis is the most useful ability a Jedi has. In the old EU, it was explained Jedi could make protective shields from the Force to stop another force sensitive from pushing them. Why not go that angle? Especially with a lightsaber.

[@tomjames9681]

Ye, remember all those times during the clone wars where Obi-Wan and Anakin are just side stepping laser fire and not using their lightsabers because they’re “peacekeepers” and “they use restraint”.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

yeah probably a shill account, the shill army is not in a good shape nowadays but it's still active

[@ProjectRedfoot]

That's how cops are told to operate in the San Francisco galaxy

[@tabaflip]

I hate this "nobility counters any sense of self preservation" thinking.

[@krakalicious5277]

Bar tender: A dread headed black woman killed the Jedi Master....Jedi: I know exactly who you are talking about!

[@hassathunter2464]

Suspect: "It was another dreadlocked woman" Jedi: "Suuuure" Master Jedi: "Naah, she has a twin... oh didn't tell you?"

[@Tundra.]

I can think of only one dark-skinned, dreadlocked human being in the universe of trillions of life forms. It must be them!

[@kabirarya5381]

@@Tundra. I mean a force user with that description i am sure wasn't that common, and they also got the literal witness to say it was her, you can criticize that this was all that was considered and no alibi of hers was taken considering she said she was on the ship and this could easily be confirmed, but the jedi probably don't know a lot of force users who match the description of osha, so I don't really see how your criticism makes sense.

[@1stmorgoth289]

"There is strong evidence" apparently one bartender and his child saying someone did something is enough evidence to imprison someone on the other end of the galaxy. Just imagine if that bartender was on the enemie team and said a tall green forceuser did it.

[@Ambanoid]

"What'd you bring me" is still going strong. You love to see it.

[@LordPhoton-rl4ot]

She used the force to open the automatic sliding doors like every little kid at the super market.

[@TheLoos3Goos33]

Just was listening to Open Bar and Mauler makes a good suggestion for this episode that I'd like to add to. Mauler suggested adding to the opening fight scene, as a byproduct of the chaos of the fight, something heavy is jostled loose and is about to fall onto an innocent bystander, maybe the little kid alien to make it extra dramatic. Then having Trinity and Evil twin both reach out with the force to save the kid at the same time. You could tell a lot with the characters at that point just by having them look at each other and react to that event. This would play into making Trinity actually feel like a morally good person who I don't want to see die, while also playing into Evil Twin's worldview. Evil Twin should actually be a little surprised by this Jedi doing something good, considering her negative opinion of them, which could potentially play into some self doubt about her own convictions.

[@HectorLopez0217]

“What do you see?” Youngling: I see fire in space

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

you mean like a star? A literal ball of fire in space?

[@crater0504]

​@@elyrienvalkyr8167 A star is made of plasma... from nuclear fusion...

[@ciege7486]

​​@@elyrienvalkyr8167Good god, I've seen you coping in other comments, but this takes the R-tard cake

[@TheSatisfiedPig]

​@@crater0504 don't expect Disney Star Wars shills to think much.

[@LN997-i8x]

​@@elyrienvalkyr8167What a comical misunderstanding of a star, god damn.

[@NoPantsBaby]

My favorite part was Fringy saying: "What was her plan, was she hoping nobody would notice." Cause he didn't have the *twist* spoiled for him. I laughed so hard. Thank you master of the goo.

[@lordmontymord8701]

Yeah, Mauler (and others) knew, but they didn't want to spoil it for him ... didn't want to ruin the perfect twist 😁

[@lordmontymord8701]

@bumtism I can actually understand Rags not listening to them. He probably thought the others were joking, becaus no way they would use something so stupid as a "my twin did it"-plot. That was just underestimating the level of bad writing we got.

[@xel1673]

Trinity: "The Jedi do not attack the unarmed." Assassin Girl: >angry< "Yes you do." =proceeds to attack everyone who is unarmed= So it's all right when Assassin Girl does it, but not the Jedi? And next you'll tell me AG has the moral high ground.

[@kylefrank638]

Factoid: The facehugger thing that the prisoners say is used to subdue dangerous criminals is called a Dybbuk, which is the real-life spelling for a poltergeist in Jewish mythology, and the name literally translates to "cling/adhere". Like it does to faces! That's kinda neat I think.

[@Maybeabandaid9]

"So you knew the phrase and you still came to my office with that attitude?" I died laughing at that one.

[@daeamiralis]

"jedi on a predator planet" horror movie idea sounds a lot like how I remember the Felucia mission from BF2 feeling when I was a kid

[@86lanzo]

2018 starwars - no ones ever truly gone 2024 starwars - no ones ever truly straight

[@luthasunspell8365]

And if they are, we’ll shame them for their heterosexual ability to reproduce by… magicking up lesbi-twins via witch coven. Yeah.

[@soulsearcher9620]

Assassin : Uses innocent lives to threaten Jedi Also Assassin : Sees child and goes soft hearted These two things do not co-exist easily and require a FUCKTON of work to make function as a story.

[@toriaoi1695]

"Jedi don't attack the unarmed" "Yes, you *do* " Oh, I guess you have a problem with Jedi who abuse their power or something *Uses innocent bystanders as shields or distractions* Oh, I guess not. Or you're a hypocrite .....you're probably a hypocrite. It would be *REALLY* interesting to have an assassin (who ISN'T force sensitive) going around killing 'bad' jedi (who abuse their power/influence) while trying to avoid good ones who are hunting them.

[@KarazolaX]

@@toriaoi1695 I can forgive THAT, they're supposed to be a villain and are allowed to be hypocritical. But I can't forgive them for making the character so transparently a special important main character girl that you know she's going to win. They really thought just getting rid of the single actor with a name was going to get people excited for their show, I honestly imagine anyone who tuned in because they heard CAM was in it just to turn it off.

[@oXRaptorzXo]

That totally does work though? Most killers won’t kill a child but will an adult

[@hosaepalvin9795]

@@oXRaptorzXothen that's just writing with a preset and not a character.

[@oXRaptorzXo]

@@hosaepalvin9795 Except Mae probably has sympathy for the child because her parents were murdered at a young age as well.

[@darthsamba]

Someone argued that the reason Sabine survived a lightsaber is because sabers have a power knob that can be turned up and down. Guess Shin accidentally set her plasma sword to stun instead of kill lol.

[@lordofthepizzapie9319]

She set it to cigar lighter mode

[@MediumRareOpinions]

They do have weaker sabers in the old books but they're the ones given to children in basic jedi training. Did her master give Shin the star wars equivalent of a wooden practice sword?

[@a_fine_edition2746]

What a silly argument lmao. Yes that’s true. Lightsabers can and have had lower intensity settings, usually for training safely. Shin has literally no reason to have her blade on low power, and the fact it runs Sabine straight through and sears her innards kinda runs contradictory to it.

[@Ceyx000]

It was set to stunning & brave.

[@aquapendulum]

Does it matter what mode it was set to when we can see with our own eyes that Sabine has a hole punctured all the way through her stomach and the lightsaber blade even come out of her back in that show?

[@darkbum1510]

I can't fucking believe that they did the "it's the twin" trope. That shit has already been a trope when Agatha fucking Christie was writing...

[@janehrahan5116]

"the skills aren't transferable" mfw the entire natural force sensitivity was found by jedi because they tend to succeed at whatever they do, especially things that require fine motor skills or reflexes beyond their species.

[@enkiduthewildman]

I mean, you could go into pod racing...

[@Unknown-hb3id]

What are you talking about? Heightened physical abilities and senses are *totally* useless in the real world, man!

[@janehrahan5116]

@@enkiduthewildman im talking eu lore, but yes pod racing is one example.

[@TheSatisfiedPig]

There's infinite ways Jedi skills could be used in other areas besides being a Jedi.

[@brettholcomb3763]

@@TheSatisfiedPig Yeah, but this character seemed to want to distance themselves from their past, the Jedi, and using the force.

[@zombiespikelee]

Imagine if the U.S. Navy Seals captured Osama bin Laden and then handed him over to the local police for transport. That's what the prison ship scene felt like.

[@Sadovari]

Sol : I saw her die. Sol: She is alive. I can feel it. Disney writers: Both of these things make sense!

[@tomjames9681]

Why the hell can Osha not just say, “hey, all of my colleagues and shipmates can give me an alibi for the time period your asking me about, as if the distance and time involved with the crime’s location isn’t difficult enough to account for.” Yunnoh, like the first fucking thing that gets asked and answered in even the most bottom-of-the-barrel police procedurals. And if the point is “the jedi are stupid and overzealous, it’s intentional by the writers how poorly they conduct the investigation”, then how fucking dumb can they be before it crosses a line? You’re still writing characters that WANT to solve a crime. Establishing the whereabouts of a suspect is not big brain mind-palace detective writing, it’s basic reason. All of this pales in comparison to the fact that you can READ MINDS. A mystery involving a telepath detective could be a really cool writing challenge to deal with, something a current say Star Wars writer could never manage. Edit: watching the episode again, they do make a big deal of saying the crew weren’t around her for the evening but she wouldn’t tell them what she was up to on her own. That gets rid of… oh cool, one issue.

[@axiss5840]

That's what pissed me off. They're borderline psychic, how did they not go 'oh wow I'm getting exactly 0% feeling that this person was involved in any way.'

[@Сайтамен]

Her collague said they didn't saw her last night.

[@lordmontymord8701]

@@Сайтамен A whole night? I think they could have said "I guess we haven't seen her for twenty minutes." and these Jedi would go "See? No alibi." But why would you even ask if anyone saw her? The bartender saying it was her is clearly enough evidence!

[@Сайтамен]

@@lordmontymord8701 well yes, that's what witnesses are for.

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Don't they have cameras on ships? You'd think they would. But logic was never Disney Star Wars forte.

[@blackdragoncyrus]

It took 1 minute for Fringy to go "I want to learn more about that character."

[@Brian-gw5hg]

My favorite part was when Schlurpo said, "It's Acolyting time!"

[@bmardiney]

Fringy's go-to "joke": >sees a little cute alien "Boy, I'd like to see all about that little guy's life."

Which says it all, a weird little alien is more interesting than a bunch of useless men and Mary Sues.

[@pyerack]

Lets be honest, Star Wars has been a playground for amateur film makers for the last few years. All of these projects look like very high budget highschool video class projects. Every person they bring on to write and direct these scripts act like it's their first time ever writing anything in their life. All they seem to know is that a story is a sequence of events, how do we connect these events? Idk but we can try to figure it out as we go. It's probably just being used as a bounce pad to elevate one's career. Just to put it on a resume "Yeah I worked in star wars, that big brand. You should hire me for your next show."

[@spacemanspud7073]

I'm shocked at how much they half ass every one of these shows. Reminds me of like a former SNL writer said they would just screw around the entire time and when the deadline came near they would quickly crap something out on a page in the last minute

[@MorallyDubiousFrog]

“This woman is a force user and suspected Jedi killer, should we have some Jedi escort her to the Temple.” “Nah, it’ll be fine.”

[@jindrichdolejs623]

I mean you'd send cops on cop killers

[@lordmontymord8701]

@@jindrichdolejs623Not in a world created by writers of this talent: There they would have Paul Blart guard the person that killed a whole SWAT-team ...

[@MorallyDubiousFrog]

@@lordmontymord8701 We’ve finally captured this crazy marine who shot up the police station. Thankfully, the local Boy Scout troop is available to guard the prison bus.

[@CharlesZane_]

Going up to a Jedi Master, seemingly at random and saying “attack me” is the same level of writing as Vader going after Obi-Wan and asking if Obi-Wan has come to destroy him.

[@Unknown-hb3id]

Don't forget that she repeats the line too - "with all your power" or some crap like that lol

[@2ndRodeo_Keziah]

This is where the fun begins.

[@Jedi_Spartan]

The entire premise Rags comes up with at 41:07 would be PERFECT for a Jedi Sentinel since they're the ones most likely to be interesting in concept as - unlike most Jedi - they usually keep one foot in the real world/galaxy by focusing on regular skills that don't rely on the Force: leading them to fill roles like tech experts/slicers, spies, investigators, watchmen (Jedi who work on a local system/sector level) etc. The Jedi Sentinels were severely underused even in pre Disney content. Also one Jedi character type I'd want to see is a Jedi from an otherwise pre spaceflight species/culture (like the Tusken Jedi A'sharad Hett in the 2000s comics) to explore how being the only person from their species in the wider Galaxy affects them, eg: do they feel isolated or insecure about their place in the Jedi, do they know anything about their species, what event led to them becoming a Jedi, how do others in the Galaxy treat them on an individual level etc. To get the most out of that concept, I think such a character should probably be a similar age to Yord or Phantom Menace Obi Wan who both seem to be in their 20s.

[@Ericshadowblade]

Tuskens arent preflight species they reject technological advancement as part of thier culture history.

[@awilson5684]

My friends and I were gearing up to do a CSI: Ord Mandell game in the TTRPG. Sadly, it never came to fruition.

[@xel1673]

"That is a lesson for another day. Time for lunch." "Sol, my dear friend. How lucky these younglings are to have such a compassionate teacher." ... Is lunch not a daily occurrence for padawans?

[@Nexus_Hives]

EFAP TV/Movies are my only joy in life.

[@throwdown1776]

Imagine you are a "jedi assassin". Your goal to take on an esteemed jedi master whos living on a backwater planet. She is human through and through and was once an ally turned enemy. What would you do? You could probably start living there as well, become some barmaid or local farmer and proceed to watch and study her moves and motives. Do some social engineering and ask the locals what she does, why is she here, what do they think her, etc. You could poison her drink, take out her crew one by one secretly, get her in a place where she cant call for help, snipe her, use hit and run tactics. Bait her to save someone to go in for the kill, use pressure to slip her defenses. There are alot of things you can do But no, lets just announce her that we are here, destroy her bodyguards in a public area and attack her with daggers that you have to get in kissing length to use

[@MajorSmurf]

There are so many better ways to go about it, it isn't even funny. Okay fine she has a personal vendetta but assassins aren't known for being frontline fighters. They'll use every dirty trick in the book, poisons, bombs, sabotage and so on. Wouldn't it be better to see Trinity going around this place, helping people but freak accidents keep happening or other people try to kill her. She survives those and is sensing there is a bigger threat going on here. She tries to call back home but find the signal jammed. Even after all schemes failed, the assassin moves onto her next plan, in the tavern you see a guy walk in all sweaty and asks the Jedi for help, she approaches the guy or he sits down beside her, She notices a bugle under his shirt, BOOM there was a rigged explosive on his chest or have him say he was poisoned and hands her a note that taunts the Jedi that they have the antidote and to come to X location. Force them to make mistakes, fight them where they hold no advantage. Heroes are easy to kill after all, go after others and they'll come running.

[@aquapendulum]

HK-47 from KOTOR recommends flamethrower, toxic gas (especially the types that cause reactions on skin contact, not inhalation) and a variety of explosives as the preferred methods to kill Jedi. Sniping is an option if you have the element of surprise, but don't waste your one shot. Orbital bombardment can be overkill but it's reliable if nothing else works. And yes, HK-47 recommends harming civilians to lure Jedi into vulnerable positions too.

[@jamesavis1]

In just over a decade we've unironically gone from "hmm, the Jedi have a few flaws" to "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

[@Ashkihyena]

Yep, basically they become Anakin Skywalker.

[@Atheismo9760]

@@Ashkihyena No, Anakin clearly didn't anything wrong.

[@samdurfee6093]

17:16 A single eyewitness testimony should not be enough to warrant an official arrest, not even modern day standards are like this, you need evidence. Especially in Starwars where Changlings are a thing, never mind the technology available to alter one’s appearance, see a particular episode of Clone Wars for that. Sure bring her in for questioning, but does this need to be at Corasunt? Her location wouldn’t change her testimony, additionally her place of employment would have recorded her hours of operation so it’s an easy alibi. I don’t think the writer knows what the fuck she’s doing.

[@axiss5840]

Not to mention their borderline psychic intuition, and the fact that any branch of the jedi that investigates Jedi murders ahould have their absolute best at the job doing it.

[@aquapendulum]

If they want the black Jedi guy to zero in on Osha as the suspect, they have a plot device right there that they didn't use: FORCE MIND READING. Yord can Force Mind Read the witness to get an actual visual of the assassin from the witness' memory and go "Oh, I recognize that girl. That's Osha. She left the Order 6 years ago!". That's not a thorough solution though because if they rewrite the script that way, the next problem they encounter is that Yord can mind read everybody's memory on that Trade Fed ship to corroborate that Osha was working on their ship way too far away from the crime scene to be the assassin. That would give Osha an alibi right away and then the rest of the show cannot happen.

[@samdurfee6093]

@@aquapendulum here’s the thing. It would be so easy to mark her location during the event of the assassination. Security Cameras exist, records of her work as well. It is entirely impossible for her to go and kill a Jedi and get back within any reasonable time. Proving her innocence should be soooooooo easy, but no we need her to be on the City Planet so they arrest her, due process be damned.

[@JaimieSch]

What an absolute waste of the one actor who anyone actually cares about, to be killed in the first scene. Also, I don't buy for a second that she couldn't have stop both knives at once. She's a jedi, with hyper fast reflexes. Whatever happened to Qui Gon's line about jedi being able to "See things before they happen."? Hell, Disney had Obi Wan lifting multiple heavy boulders at once, but two tiny knives is too much to handle? They got Trinity to be in this show, had her be really uninterested in stopping someone from assaulting innocent bystanders, fail to stop the assassin in the 50 different ways she could have done with her lightsaber (even without killing her), and then just die to the most obvious sneak attack in history. The second the assassin starting pulling knives on people, Trinity should have chopped her arm off and taken her to jail. The entire plot of this show is instigated by having Trinity be terrible at her job. Great start.

[@colossicus555]

I can't stop thinking about the Occupational Safety Hazard Association

[@25mdarchi]

13:48 pretty sure that knife wasn't long enough to do anything. If anything it just stabbed her boob. HOW IS THAT FATAL!?

[@ghostprojekt]

Everyone knows boobs are just airbags, duh.

[@TheMaleRei]

Star Wars Jedi boobs are actually explosive reactive armor - but facing the wrong way. That's why she perished.

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

Because hearts are only like 2 inches below the skin, if that. This is taught to children, how do you not know how deep a heart is in your own body?

[@25mdarchi]

​@@elyrienvalkyr8167 ok then lets go with the fact that the blade definitely didnt look wide enough to slip between Trinity's ribs, and definitely not heavy enough to smash through them. It's possible that was fatal, just highly improbable.

[@SpartyCubsFan]

@@elyrienvalkyr8167But her Boobs extend far out from her skin, or used to anyway

[@jodanger37]

The speed this came out is very impressive. I salute you 🫡

[@samuraijaco1]

Gotta love how they made small knives more effective than fucking lightsabers. I guess we can all say, now, that Peter Parker in amazing spider man was right… they’re their only weaknesses…

[@bohort]

I loved the part when trinity said ‘I’m too old for this shlurpo’

[@Cats-TM]

35:28 "Save the dream!"-Forest Whitaker.

[@BaldorfBreakdowns]

One of the best quotes in Star Wars ;(

[@voorindeklas]

When i said it was dumb the Jedi got killed by a little knive, some fan jumped to the defence. "Now you are complaining that a knive killed a jedi, a knive is made for that." So a lightsaber is just to tickle.

[@kristianwhittaker9346]

There is no point talking to hard core Disney's Simps it's a actual cult 😂.

[@frankvandorp2059]

In every scene you can just taste that the writers are not just incompetent buffoons, but also horrible people driven by spite and narcissism. You see the assassin commit atrocities against random bystandrs and you already know that at some point in the future, the show is going to tell you this was all justified and she is a good person and her crusade for revenge deserves sympathy and she's a character we should identify with. Because she will be an oppressed victim because of her identity boxes, which means anything is justified.

[@SunshineLoLypops]

Not enough people hate "The Clone Wars". Too many children who cannot self-reflect.

[@alexmaverick6647]

“Attack me with all your strength” reminded me of when the weird anime kid in high school was angry at you lol.

[@cameraman502]

42:12 wouldnt it cool to explore if in the course of a criminal procedural they explored the mind probing thing and its role in civil rights? Like we can probe some people in our investigation but that might be abused and taint evidence and testimony. Wouldnt something like miranda rights be difficult in a world where a jedi can use suggestion?

[@Pink.andahalf]

I used to go over to my sister's house to use her Disney plus subscription so I could understand the episode before watching EFAP TV. Boba Fett broke me of that habit, and now I just watch these. Thanks for the laughs guys, it's how I ignore the fact that the Star Wars that I cared about has been replaced with this dreck.

[@darthsonic4135]

I’m still a fan of The Clone Wars (even if I now realize it is a far more flawed show than I once thought it was) but Filoni’s role in that series is HEAVILY overstated. Considering how he fucked up Ahsoka so badly? Whatever fanboyism I once had for the man has completely dried up,

[@Kirschbaum2000]

How in the fuck did Carry-Ann Moss die there, while Maul, the Inquisitorguy and Reeva(2x) with their respective injuries didnt??

[@luthasunspell8365]

She wasn’t diverse enough to live.

[@joesmutz9287]

I hope Star Wars Theory makes it onto one of these recordings The resulting conversation between him and Theo will be legendary

[@odigity]

Mauler: "No... too much is wrong... they fucked up"

[@john-paul9804]

This Acolyte show is so full of "Isn't this cool? Doesn't this look cool?" It a pile of congratulatory back-slapping at the mediocracy being committed to film.

[@HerohammerStudios]

The beginning fight is particularly painful, because we've seen exactly what a jedi would do in a bar brawl like that where other people are in danger. Lob her fucking arm off like Obi-Wan Kenobi did in A New Hope!

[@thomasturtle7207]

After seeing Ryan in the thumbnail, I now definitely expect this one to be good! 😆

[@ethantaylor1667]

An important aspect of this whole Disney ordeal is that the OT, the Prequels, and perhaps one or two others justified their existence with stories to tell, whereas almost all of Disney's stuff is, "Hey, you remember Star Wars, right?" The original interest of the Star Wars brand was the great story it contained, but the only interest in these shows is that they have the Star Wars title.

[@2xRainb0w]

I just know they got rid of the original Trade fed voices cause it sounds Asian therefore racist lol

[@wheeliebin18]

Remember ALL the times Jedi drew their lightsaber to defuse a situation with non-lethal attacks?!?! FFS that opening was horrible to watch.

[@connorhull9215]

You can just tell by his voice that Theo is ecstatic to be back in Mauler's basement again, watching more Star Wars. The restraints are just to help contain his excitement, not because he wants to leave or anything.

[@Ricktofenable]

22:29 “goodbye jedi killer” so much for keeping her crime a secret

[@A_NorthKorean_CoOp]

This is going to be hilarious

[@gergelytuskai8103]

The endurance of the whatchubringme gag is the only thing that brings joy in my life

[@richvestal767]

Shouldn't force users be able to DETECT other force users without having to ask "where's the Jedi?" How stupid are these writers?

[@KarazolaX]

You mean like how Luke could instantly DETECT Yoda? And Yoda didn't spend a bunch of time pretending to be someone else, and he didn't find out until Yoda TOLD him? Have you watched Empire?

[@Lunartic_]

​@@KarazolaXLuke wasn't exactly trained in the force by that point in the movie. Do you remember how he finds Vader and how he knows Vader detects him through the force in Return of the Jedi?

[@KarazolaX]

@@Lunartic_ This girl is still in training in the force, they kinda show how much of a novice. She gets toyed with for the entire fight and wins by tricking the Jedi. But there's also a ton of Jedi who actively hid from the empire. If they could just be sensed then the inquisition would just need to hover over a planet and they'd know immediately if a force user was there. Vader could sense Luke because he was his son, they had a very close connection and were both exceptionally powerful force users. But it would be remarkably limiting if every Jedi could always sense another Jedi like it's DBZ. You could never actually reveal a new force user without the main character going "Oh, hey there's a force user on that planet." This is just looking for things to complain about without thinking for 10 seconds.

[@papapalps2415]

​@@KarazolaXIt's literally been established since day 1 and the word go that Force users, or at least powerful ones, can detect each other from ages away, lul. Vader and Luke in ROTJ is an obvious one (you're attempts at bluster aside), but so is Vader detecting Kenobi nigh-instantly on the Death Star. Vader also detects Luke entering Cloud City, I believe, and the prequels also has several instances of this.

[@Lunartic_]

@@KarazolaX Then how can Vader sense Obi-Wan? How can Anakin and Obi-Wan sense Count Dooku? And all the other instances that exists but aren't listed here. It's not just some family bond shit. It's modern Star Wars. They flip-flop around these things whenever it's convenient.

[@_S0LUS_]

Having Jedi washouts just being kicked out would not be a thing because you'd have hundreds of potential Sith running around. Not to mention "Skills weren't transferable" Remember how Anakin was a child podracing prodigy?

[@Astroman10]

Wait, if only droids are operating this ship, then purple hair really fucked up!

[@asdffdsa541]

"I don't think I've seen a worse show" He clearly hasn't seen Picard Season 2.

[@wellingtonbruh3756]

We did it, Patrick! We saved star wars!

[@ZeopoZero]

The opening fight scene was actually sped up. You could tell just by the way their clothing was moving. Chris Gore pointed it out in his review of the show. Ant I was keeping an eye out for it. And it is sped up.

[@pwgdeathhawk8146]

One of the baby Jedi should have said “I see moons shooting fire,a farm boy harvesting water in the desert, half machine, half man destroys an empire”. The prophecy is born

[@jjnini9754]

How did Osha beat everyone else to Torbin's chamber to find the poison? Was there a back door that the Jedi Templars didn't know about?????

[@Tacti_cat]

The best example of a "secret twin" is so good that I hesitate to even mention the title of the film that I am referencing as it would be a heavy spoiler.

[@ObsidianBehemoth]

I liked the end of the first scene. Killing a Jedi with misdirection. (I know, a master should be able to follow two things at once.) Reminds me of a Knights of the Old Republic character, who played card games in his head to hide his thoughts from Jedi. At the end, I thought that Sith was going to say you don't kill Jedi with weapons, you use non-tangible things like fear, lust, deception, etc.

[@Wawa-ki9zi]

The evil sister has longer hair so when you see the good sister you immediately know it’s a different person

[@samwallaceart288]

I like that MauLer brought on the correct half of Star Grift for actual SW expertise

[@Slurptacular64]

Just to add my two cents, I see some people defending non lethal lightsaber stabs by claiming ‘it wasn’t in a lethal spot’ but assuming lightsabers operate on our known physics, using the in universe explanation that they are contained blades of superhot plasma through a magnetic field, even a non-lethal stab should flashboil the blood in the surrounding area of the wound, as well as cause massive heat damage to internal organs, and this is all just from contact. Even if the blood doesn’t flash boil, just heating like 4-5 degrees is enough to cause brain damage and organ failure.

[@Boxmediaphile]

yay Theo

[@Lycan072]

Based Theo enjoyer

[@goldenmairon2371]

@@Lycan072 Theo is peak fire bro!

[@Evgen991]

@@goldenmairon2371 We're so back bro!

[@leipzigergnom]

What's his channel called?

[@goldenmairon2371]

@@leipzigergnom Movie Bob

[@dylaxiusmccoy]

I love that Rags instantly guesses the """"""""""Twist"""""""""" but Fringy spends most of the episode puzzling over it because he assumes something actually interesting is going to happen

[@dustydesertdisciple6290]

Oh boy ive been waiting for this.... No babe I cant right now EFAPs ripping the Acolyte.

[@doolicious]

Ok so what’s the point of Smilo Ren saying that cringe line about an Acolyte not killing with steel or a laser? It conflicts with the story we just saw, like the EFAP crew pointed out right after hearing it. The REAL reason that line is in there is because that’s what Leslye Headland’s goal is. SHE is the Acolyte. SHE wants to destroy the Jedi (what we were taught were heroes of Star Wars in the Original Trilogy.) This is her agenda.. In the second episode, we get the bullshit with that meditating Jedi using the force shield against Mae’s attacks. In Star War Theory’s watch party stream, someone in chat joked it was a “white privilege shield.” This is actually an apt comparison. What kills that cis white male jedi in the end? HIS FUCKING GUILT. He kills himself because of his guilt. And the most fucked up thing about this is Mae will end up being a character we’re supposed to feel empathy for. WHAT A JOKE….

[@alexmaverick6647]

You’re definitely taking this shit way too seriously.

[@doolicious]

@@alexmaverick6647 gr8 b8 m8 I r8 it 8/8 thank you for weighing in on the topic.

[@Arphemius]

The point is that he is saying that you can't kill "the jedi", as in the order, with a direct attack on one jedi. It does not conflict with the story. I agree that guilt tripping him into suicide is terrible though. And of course it's on purpose that that's the only white male jedi in the show so far.

[@liamphibia]

I always love it when they geek out over aliens.

[@Grrk_Jr]

In regards to the fire in space being controversial because “it’s happened before” there’s a little line from a little film made by Disney titled Rogue One where an ex Imperial Pilot says the words “…we’re all annihilated in the cold, dark vacuum of space.” But what do I fuckin know I only watched the films

[@alexmaverick6647]

Who cares what some random character in rogue one said. Literally every film in the original six has shown fire in space lol.

[@Grrk_Jr]

@@alexmaverick6647 I will say this once and very, very slowly ready it: Explosion ≠ Campfire

[@Arphemius]

@@Grrk_Jr I will say this once and very, very lsowly read it: Oxygen source (like a ship) = fire

[@Grrk_Jr]

@@Arphemius so that would not account for the way the fire is operating in a vacuum-Ryan’s right, it’d function as a blowtorch-nor does it account for the fact that the goddamn fire FLICKERS IN THE SPACE WIND. This scene would be fine if it was moved to inside and near a fuckin window

[@Arphemius]

@@Grrk_Jr Given that you therefore know that fire can exist in space, I hope you also argue against all the idiots mindlessly repeating "fire in space" over and over. "The fire is the wrong shape" is more accurate and less annoying, but is less memeable as well. Most are going with the stupid version of the argument. It also doesn't flicker in the space wind, but with the oxygen escaping, but again it would more accurately have a different shape entirely.

[@SaintMaxxi]

"Jedi skills arent transferable" Idk, bartender, construction, security, bounty hunting, translators, diplomacy. Feels like telekensis, future sight, and general combat training can really open a lot of doors.

[@callumpears1523]

"An acolyte doesn't need a weapon" *Immediately turns on his own lightsaber for the edge-factor*

[@sab3redg333]

10 minutes in and already this efap has aged like fine wine

[@SolarDragon007]

So glad they brought Ryan on. It's about time EFAP had an Star Wars EU afficionado as a guest!

[@TrailblazerProductionsLLC]

"So, you have a new space wizards with laser swords content for me?" "Yes, sir I do....sort of..."

[@DrViperVideos]

Blasters wont kill a jedi. Ummm order 66?? Hello writers hello??

[@johannesseyfried7933]

Well, it wasn't just blasters. It was also a giant ambush that none of the Jedi expected.

[@DrViperVideos]

@@johannesseyfried7933ok..but a blaster is still lethal to a jedi, its lethal to every creature

[@johannesseyfried7933]

@@DrViperVideos Depends on the creature. The Zillo Beast is blasterproof. 😋

[@DrViperVideos]

@@johannesseyfried7933be ashamed of who you are.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

@@DrViperVideos And Gen'dai, of course. With regular blasters you won't kill them.