EFAP TV: Reacting to The Acolyte S01E01 - Lost/Found

[@silastipton9982]

My favorite part is when they show that knives are far more capable of killing people than lightsabers

[@matthewcollins4773]

I'm starting to think that lightsabres are actually healing sticks that improve your health, and Qui-Gon just had an unfortunate allergy.

[@wheeliebin18]

@@matthewcollins4773 Qui-Gon was killed by an overdose of healing.

[@annatardlordofderps9181]

​​@@wheeliebin18 healed so much that he died. Like an integer overflow.

[@LoneWolf_Cub_Ogami_Itto]

Why no Katana + Wakizashi?

[@emkenobi]

She was stabbed directly in the heart what did you expect?

[@mariusionita266]

Count Dooku's lesson to Gen Grievous in Tartakovsky's Clone Wars was so much better that Smilo Ren's cringe speech in regards to engaging Jedi: 'Don't let your pursuit of trinkets cloud your reality. Remember what I taught you, General. If you are to succeed in combat against the best of the Jedi, you must have fear, surprise, and intimidation on your side. But if any one element is lacking, it would be best for you to retreat. You must break them before you engage them. Only then will you ensure victory and have your trophy.'

[@toriaoi1695]

Still salty we didn't get that version of Grievous in the 3D cartoon or live action.

[@Jedi_Spartan]

Same with HK talking to the Jedi Exile in KOTOR 2 where one of his points (in universe), predicts Order 66 several thousand years in advance: "There are few Jedi that can long hold their ground against 100 attackers all firing at once... or being turned on by their own troops." Along with how the entire conversation is filled with his personality throughout, such as calling Jedi "annoying pseudo-pacifists" and how the best way to fight them was to do so indirectly but only if the individual Jedi in question was "adhering to the self-destructive path of pacifism and sacrifice."

[@throwdown1776]

​@@Jedi_Spartan you also got atton rand who can give you not only a weapon selection of killing jedi, but the concept of hiding your mind and of severing the attachment of a jedi master and their padawan

[@SolarDragon007]

That was one of my favorite little scenes from Tartakovsky's Clone Wars.

[@denkerbosu3551]

​@@toriaoi1695 that version of HIM got me into SW as a kid.

[@jedibusiness66]

“Your eyes can deceive you. Do not trust them.” Same guy: “I SAW her die.”

[@zscout1288]

Also the Jedi have no clue that she had a twin while knowing that she had a twin

[@brettholcomb3763]

A Jedi who struggles to live up to their own teachings...hmmm

[@kenloretz3871]

A writer that can't keep their narrative straight...hmmm

[@brettholcomb3763]

@@kenloretz3871 Well, "your focus determines your reality." Or, that's what they say anyway.

[@kabirarya5381]

Now I might just be extremely tolerant and good faith, but that could just be the point of the line, that the jedi master is contradicting himself and not judging his own eyes by the standard which he preaches they should be judged. Though maybe I am giving to much credit to the writers.

[@Arko777777]

Remember, impaling with hot plasma blade in a torso can't kill a person, but a dinky dagger in a non vital area can.

[@ghostprojekt]

It's all about the swing-swing-stab combo

[@TrailblazerProductionsLLC]

@@ghostprojekt Like a video game! Time it right, and you can get critical hit points!

[@f3ynman44]

​@@ghostprojektStab. Twist. Gut. Come at me!

[@Idk649GBds]

“A non vital area” Didn’t it go right where her heart is?

[@Arko777777]

@@Idk649GBds Pretty sure it was too high to hit her heart. Still, Trinity killed herself with how much she toyed with her anyway.

[@Tentumon111]

"Attack me, with all your strength!" *Jedi proceeds to twist her head 180* "What? She asked for my full power."

[@normansioson1337]

This feels like a good script for "How The Acolyte Should Have Ended"...

[@lordmontymord8701]

Let her first attack all those people in the bar to see if she's worth at least 50 % of Trinity's power. Then she might do something - it's funnier that way ...

[@SiriusSphynx]

She Dr. Manhattan's her and she explodes into a pink mist and splattered skeleton with a raise of the hand.

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Disney did the same in the Ahsoka show. Sabine at any time could've had that end when she fought that sith pet that Ray Stevens had but didn't, even when she found out she wasn't a force user.

[@VespoLiveGaming]

That would be clone wars era Anakin's response. Accompanied by a musical cue of the Imperial march, a wink at obi Wan then "let's go get some tacos"

[@BigBroTejano]

“The Jedi live in a dream where no one can kill them… neither steel nor laser” So… did the creators of this show just forget that the Mandalorians are still a thing? The legendary warriors who can go toe to toe with a Jedi using steel and lazers. That these guys waged a war of conquest across the galaxy where they killed Jedi by the hundreds if not thousands.

[@enkiduthewildman]

Not to mention the girl he's talking to literally five minutes ago killed a jedi with a knife! Or are we pretending that the knife wasn't steel?

[@MediumRareOpinions]

​@@enkiduthewildman To put that in the best faith possible, they seem to be saying that in reference to the Jedi's mythologised imperviousness to such weapons which isn't true. However this is itself inconsistent with the Mandolorians legendary conflict with the Jedi, which showed to all that they could be killed with both steel and Laser.

[@slaapt]

I wouldn't call that "best faith possible." That is a normal interpretation since it is explicitely called "living in a dream." Which means reality is different. The whole Mandalorian bit is a completely different bag of issues, but the acolyte killing a jedi with a weapon contradicts nothing about the "jedi think they are impervious" statement.

[@matane2465]

That's Legends. Disney Star Wars Mandalorians are pathetic. See Season 3 of The Mandalorian.

[@GleamingStar435]

@@enkiduthewildman The knife was probably Beskar, not steel lol

[@CommanderZx2]

In a universe where lightsabers are less lethal than small throwing knives.

[@LukasJampen]

That was so small I doubt that would even be lethal or incapacitating. Also the force did fuck all in that moment. If jedi can block shots they can avoid, block or push a small knife away with the force.

[@7TheWhiteWolf]

Legit, I’m expecting Han Solo to show up in future content nowadays.

[@CommanderZx2]

@@7TheWhiteWolf I wager that one of the twins is going to get run through with a lightsaber as an episode cliff hanger and yet miraculously be mostly fine the next episode.

[@MattR8605]

@@LukasJampencompetent Force users can redirect a person jumping at them, much less a throwing knife

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

@@LukasJampen Shove a toothpick into a heart and see how lethal it is. A knife doesn't need to be huge to rupture a heart that's only like 2 inches beneath the skin.

[@JD-ld1xe]

How would a Jedi Master not be able to sense such a simple trick of "hiding a 2nd knife behind my back", you really think someone like Yoda would be fooled by a simple sleight of hand?

[@Phoenix0F8]

hey, swapping a knife between hands worked on the Night King looooool

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Obi Wan sensed that bitch about to use a blaster on him in Attack of the Clones. But hey, it was a woman so maybe the rules vary between genders?

[@creeperslayer241]

Remember how Qui Gon basically explained that a Jedi has such insane reflexes because they can, even by a few seconds, sense the future? That even the untrained Anakin was subconsciously doing it and it's a way of them realising who's force sensitive. Which he proves by catching the tongue of the worst creature, without looking. A tongue that was moving much faster than someone could throw a knife. Remember how Jedi are trained to dodge things without looking and using just their senses? How that's the thing they teach to children. To block and dodge without using their eyes. And yet this Jedi master, can't predict the most basic move of distract and attack. Nevermind use their mystical abilities to detect and avoid it.

[@gottesurteil3201]

Jedi wrote the book on slight of hand. It's so frustrating.

[@ProjectRedfoot]

The Jedi lack object permanence

[@robotjones6434]

There's no actual investigation to find the murderer like you guys mentioned, but I love how this assassin with the ugly hair killed a Jedi master and they send a single Knight to go arrest her....AND bring the witness within killing range. It's like sending a single officer and a trainee to arrest someone who murdered the police chief.

[@1stmorgoth289]

Yeah. Its something that only makes sense in and out of universe if anyone including the jedi already know that she isnt the murder. Its one kind of stupid to think that this Mechanik on the other side of the Galaxie could be the murder its a whole diffrent kind of stupid the way they act on this assumption.

[@lordmontymord8701]

And then these Jedi - the people best suited for guarding an assassin with force powers decide to not be on the transport ship. Them aknowledging later on that this was a dumb move doesn't help much when we don't learn WHY they decided to not guard her until they arrive at Coruscant. They believe she was able to kill a Jedi Master, but surely she won't be able to escape from this ship without an actual security force.

[@nedia8259]

Worse than a trainer, the absurd nature of your comparison isn’t actually extreme enough for it to be comparable

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

More like sending a off-duty mall cop to take on someone who killed off an entire Swat team.

[@Yogurt_Fingers]

"A Jedi doesn't pull her weapon unless prepared to kill!" Homeboy proceeds to use his weapon as a flashlight..

[@Jedi_Spartan]

Also flashbacks/flashforwards to all the times Obi Wan uses his Lightsaber to LITERALLY disarm people...

[@Arko777777]

I'd play a devil's advocate and assume that's just her warped perspective given she was hurt by the Jedi and not an actual rule the Order is going by.

[@m-copyright]

Well at least he didn't use it as a fleshlight.

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

I'm 100% positive that "A Jedi doesn't pull her weapon unless prepared to kill!" explicitly means in combat. It's not like it was ever meant to imply if someone just accidentally ignites the sword, they HAVE to go find someone to kill. What if they're doing maintenance on it? Do they NEED to kill someone? What kind of braindead take is this? It's not just a weapon, it's a tool. We even see that in the prequels when they're used to cut through doors/walls.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

He is ALWAYS ready to kill. Checkmate haters

[@MistaHoward]

The assassin girl attacking the bartender is even worse than you guys make it out to be. She wasn't just prepared to kill an innocent person, she was someone who was ostensibly on a quest to get revenge on someone for being an evil murderer and willing to kill innocents to make that happen. Then she tries to murder an innocent to get the Jedi to save them so that she can then kill the Jedi while she was distracted. So this means one of two things: 1. If she was correct about the character of the Jedi woman, then the Jedi wouldn't have risked her own life to save a random bartender, and would use that opening to kill the assassin. Therefore, from her point of view in which the Jedi are evil, her actions would have led to her murdering a random bartender and then dying, ultimately having accomplished nothing other than murdering a random bartender and injuring some other unrelated innocent people. 2. Alternatively, the Jedi woman does what happens in the show and opens herself up to be attacked to save the life of the random person the assassin gril just tried to kill, thereby proving that she's selfless enough to give her own life to save a random person, meaning the assassin accomplished nothing other than beating up a bunch of innocent people in order to kill a selfless hero. The biggest issue is that from the assassin's perspective, 1 was the more likely of the two possible outcomes, meaning she was gambling on what she would have seen as being an action that would almost certainly lead to her committing murder-suicide whilst also failing to fulfill her revenge. And this isn't even getting into the fact that there's a third possible scenario, the one where the Jedi actually uses her Jedi powers to read the knife throw before it happens and cuts off her hand, which is what any actual Jedi would do there. I didn't even know this show existed 15 minutes ago and I'm already mad that it does. Thanks Mooper!

[@reignman30]

Plus they've already done the black woman character who is willing to hurt innocents to hunt jedi back in Kenobi, with Reba.

[@thiefofa1073]

I'm with you 100% bro but you gotta understand you're putting 1000% more thought into the scene than the writers ever did. I myself was stuck (like you for hours) justifying or trying to explain the scenes leading up to and after the crash of the prison ship. Compare this series to the first 3 episodes of The Expanse. The amount of world-building (for noobies), characters and their stakes, NATURAL non-CW dialogue, non-manufactured scenes, tension and fighting sequences etc is soo mind-boggling superior that I gave up giving any more brain-power to the AcoBudLight series.

[@MistaHoward]

@@thiefofa1073 I know I've put more thought into it than the show writers. I put more thought into taking a shit than Disney creators put into anything they make. I just needed to vent about how colossally stupid it all was.

[@electricbayonet2]

And then the writers tried to get her sympathy points for the act of _not_ murdering the bartender afterward because his kid was there. The initial move was bad enough for the reasons you went over, but the fact that she was prepared to kill him after the fight was over is an _enormous_ blow to the character the writers want to establish. She doesn't stand to gain anything by killing him nor does she lose anything by sparing him. There were dozens of other people in the bar, so she isn't taking some additional risk by leaving behind an extra witness. Even _Reva's_ acts of cruelty were in the name of her delusional quest for revenge. How have they managed to write a more reprehensible hypocrite than _Reva_ in just one scene?

[@fishjones4618]

Remember how Obi Wan was able to diffuse a bar confrontation with no damage or casualties except to the person who instigated it……twice?? Trinity is a terrible Jedi.

[@Dave_L913]

The timeline from Carrie Anne Moss's death to OSHAs Fugitive scene only makes sense if you think of it as a Law & Order episode that takes place entirely in Manhattan and every location is within a 30 minute drive

[@kylekatarn5964]

Dammit, stop making so much sense. If you have watched any of the FBI shows (which are written by Dick Wolf acolytes), they are painfully poor.

[@darwinxavier3516]

That's the problem with treating traveling across the galaxy like fast travel in a video game.

[@KRobinson-ko1ne]

I guess technically we always had fast travel in Star Wars but I do worry about it eventually treated as teleportation

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

I got news for ya. That line from Ice Cube really is a meme.

[@darwinxavier3516]

@@KRobinson-ko1ne No we're already there. I was referring to the teleportation type of video game fast travel.

[@xenohusky5979]

I got into a long argument with some dude on Drinker's channel about the opening fight; he was trying to convince me that it was fine and that the jedi shouldn't have done literally ANYTHING else to stop Mae. There's SO much the jedi could have done differently: grab Mae with the force and slam her against the wall or floor to knock her out, cut her hands off with her lightsaber, or throw the knife away from the alien instead of just standing there. All the dude could say was that jedi are peacekeepers that "use restraint." Using restraint or being a peacekeeper does not mean doing fuck all and letting the bad guy win, it means reserving your power until a threat has made the danger they pose to you or others clear, and using the resources at your disposal to eliminate said threat before it can do harm. This show's writing is already atrocious.

[@Avarn388]

@xenohusky5979 Even if someone wants to use the restraint argument, the fact that Jedi Trinity allowed the assassin to just go to down on people without doing anything is just horrendous writing for a Jedi. Have her at least use the force to counter Mae and then Mae counter with her own power. That could she been a cool way to reveal she’s force sensitive and also have a better means to facilitate a hand to hand fight. Because telekinesis is the most useful ability a Jedi has. In the old EU, it was explained Jedi could make protective shields from the Force to stop another force sensitive from pushing them. Why not go that angle? Especially with a lightsaber.

[@tomjames9681]

Ye, remember all those times during the clone wars where Obi-Wan and Anakin are just side stepping laser fire and not using their lightsabers because they’re “peacekeepers” and “they use restraint”.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

yeah probably a shill account, the shill army is not in a good shape nowadays but it's still active

[@ProjectRedfoot]

That's how cops are told to operate in the San Francisco galaxy

[@tabaflip]

I hate this "nobility counters any sense of self preservation" thinking.

[@heikira438]

"An acolyte doesn't use weapons" *Proceeds to use weapons*

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

They were making 2 points. The first being Jedi believe themselves to be invincible, and that a knife can't possibly hurt them. So she killed her with a knife to explicitly prove them wrong. The second point being that she's going to be trained to not even need that to kill. Ie she wasn't an acolyte until after she killed the jedi. She effectively earned the right to be trained. This is painfully obvious. The show is riddled with actual issues to be mad at, stop using these idiot takes to make terrible points that are so easy to disprove.

[@heikira438]

​@@elyrienvalkyr8167 The cope is strong with you, my young padawan.

[@shawklan27]

​@elyrienvalkyr8167 shhhh we don't allow logic here!

[@jackjames7283]

​@elyrienvalkyr8167 Jesus, get a life.

[@noobishtitan9714]

@@elyrienvalkyr8167 Well, hang on… “The Jedi live in a dream, a dream they believe everyone shares, if you attack a Jedi with a weapon you will fail, steel or laser are no threat to them, but an Acolyte, an Acolyte kills without a weapon. An Acolyte kills the dream.” - Smilo Ren How is this communicating that, “yesss now that you’ve used steel to kill a Jedi you are now ready to become incapable of using steel or laser to kill them.”

[@dauren7328]

Imagine we followed "Trinity" for a whole episode; watching her protect people, helping them out, even maybe inspiring/ mentoring them with her wisdom, then we just see her turn with a look of concern to see a shadowy figure and cut to title card over the sounds of fighting, explosions and a blood curdling scream from the bystanders and let the audience use their imagination as to what happened.

[@noobishtitan9714]

That wouldn’t fill the fight scene quota

[@Squeeble00]

Better yet, have all of the people she had helped be murdered by a jedi hunter trying to get to her, and show the effect it would have. It'd do a much better job of outlining the 'don't attack jedi with weapons' thing that they're clearly aping in the most retarded way from the EU. Though they wouldn't be able to have their misundertood anti hero that way

[@LN997-i8x]

It feels very similar to the way Vulcans were portrayed in Enterprise: intended to be very, very wise, but instead coming across as smug assholes.

[@HerohammerStudios]

The scream sounds like it'd be really stupid, but there's certainly an idea there

[@Shineinpoverty]

@@noobishtitan9714 and show's very limited budget

[@annatardlordofderps9181]

Star Wars Episode 2. This is a settling with known shapeshifters. You can hardly use eyewitness testimony in the real world. Eye witnesses in Star Wars would essentially be useless as both the culprit *and* witness could be another person entirely and same person simultaneously.

[@Jerthy100]

I lost my shit when the green lady was like "the evidence against her is strong" .... lol, you got one random dude saying shit. Is that really all that is needed in this universe?

[@Unknown-hb3id]

Ep 2 also did the "assassin hunting a Jedi in a bar" scene so much better too. Just a quick swish to the hands and she's toast! Obi-Wan's casual single-swing W that ended the threat to civilians VS Trinity's drawn out casualty-mess and death

[@darthdragonborn1552]

@@Unknown-hb3idJesus H Christ I can’t believe I forgot that. These braindead zombies saying how cool logical it is that she fights her in the bar with no saber, which of course leads her to allow the chick to almost kill a civilian, Obi-wan immediately takes down the suspect without killing them.

[@lordmontymord8701]

@@Unknown-hb3id I believe Trinity just didn't care. Was probably challenged by idiots every day. They have to prove first they can do anything at all before she even gets her lazy ass out of the chair. I love the fact that she doesn't even really tries to end this quickly after the Acolyte has used her own force powers against her and slammed her into the wall. Reminded me a little bit of Obi-Wan smiling when confronting Griveous, despite the fact that Griveous killed many Jedi before. In both cases they are way too arrogant ...

[@Unknown-hb3id]

@@lordmontymord8701 I hope you're not serious. The whole drive of the masked villain (from what we've seen) is to break the idea that the Jedi are untouchable, so Jedi at this time would more often go unchallenged. The whole table even laughed at the assassin chick. I hate the fact that the Jedi isn't acting like a Jedi. There's room for personality, but she should immediately cut that when innocents are being hurt in the moment. Obi-Wan confronting Grievous on Utapau was an entirely different circumstance. Obi-Wan literally dropped in there to draw the attention of Grievous and all the Separatist forces there - specifically to act as a huge distraction until his own clone army arrives. And it worked perfectly, resulting in fewer casualties on his side, saw the death of Grievous, and was the last major battle to end the Clone Wars (minus Sidious' bonus Order 66 stuff). In normal circumstances, Obi-Wan uses his personality to benefit in both diplomacy and to get into his enemy's heads. And he still keeps his discipline, seriousness, and effectiveness as a Jedi while caring for the innocent.

[@noank9175]

At The Acolyte's reported budget of 180 million dollars, you could make: 12 Godzilla Minus Ones 3 Jokers (with some money to spare) 9 Silence of the Lambs (not sure if this one is adjusted for inflation to be fair) or... 12,000 Paranormal Activities. Glad to see the world's largest entertainment company is spending their money wisely.

[@BaldorfBreakdowns]

And two of the Lord of the Rings movies!

[@darkpuppetlordful]

It's strangely fitting a character named Osha experienced a fall thats only possible because the Jedi ice temple is filled with OSHA violations (no guard rails)

[@reignman30]

That's the origin story of O.S.H.A xD. Like the Amber alert, it's named after the victim that got it started. We need railings up in here.

[@KelShu]

“The Jedi live in a dream, a dream they believe everyone shares, if you attack a Jedi with a weapon you will fail, steel or laser are no threat to them, but an Acolyte, an Acolyte kills without a weapon. An Acolyte kills the dream.” - *Smilo Ren* The hilarious contradiction of her killing a Jedi with a weapon aside, why is he monologuing to himself before Mae arrives; it’s such a weird way to execute that scene.

[@jeremybrimmer1990]

That's some south park writing right there 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆

[@AscendingAdventures]

It’s probably going to be a girl

[@SolarDragon007]

It's such a cringe attempt at dialouge.

[@matane2465]

He sensed that she was coming, so he started monologing before she got there for dramatic effect? Nah this is just crap.

[@atomicdancer]

*acolyte* (noun) 01. (Catholicism) A person who has been ordained to carry the wine, water and lights at Mass; 02. (Christianity) An altar server; 03. An attendant, assistant or follower; 04. Someone who can kill dreams with their bare hands

[@admiralgaius9796]

I really don't like the idea what force sensitives that fail Jedi training are just left to fall into random maintenance jobs. Being force sensitive is super useful even if you aren't able to be a full Jedi knight. In the old EU they had wash outs enter the Jedi Service Corps to work in various civilian service roles like healthcare and agricultural services. This has been mentioned in canon as well according to Wookieepedia but they don't care about that because they want their lead to be in a crappy job to be relatable instead of something that makes sense.

[@Dave_L913]

Over the next century OSHA will slowly evolve into Maz Kanata.

[@TheDuke7]

I mean, I can sort of believe that it's theoretically possible, since joining the Service Corps is voluntary and you're allowed to go home if you wash out and don't want to join, but in this case it does feel kind of absurd, yeah. She's shown no particularly strong resentment for the Temple despite washing out, and as far as she knew when she left she was an orphan with no other family or safety net. Why would she pass up a cushy, well-paying job with the Service Corps in that position?

[@TheMaleRei]

@@Dave_L913 Evolve or devolve...

[@LukasJampen]

It would be really fucked up of the jedi to take in random kids and then just throwing them out on the street without teaching them any usefull skills/education and years of their childhood wasted if they have no home to go back to. And yes I can see many ways being force sensitive and having learned basic emotion control could be really usefull. A normal police officer could really use a sixth sense for danger, being able to stay calm in tense situations and being able to defuse conflicts non violently. Other dangerous jobs as well or maybe negotiators for task you don't need to send a jedi. Even just as support staff at the temple. In warhammer 40k people who fail to become space marines but survive are either sent back or if they already were in training for some time they get used for scout roles, attendants/servants or other support staff at the home base of the chapter or on a ship. That all depends in which chapter of space marines we are talking about but in many cases just throwing out a failed recruit is a waste as they already proved themselves multiple times just to get here. They don't have the force but that just increases the potential value.

[@TheMaleRei]

@@LukasJampen Yes. But this is Disney, thus it's not surprising. No idea what the EU did with this kind of thing, but I can imagine the EU handled it better.

[@fathorse8]

Ryan and Theo are the dynamic duo I didn't know I needed

[@canaldecasta]

The "+He said no pickles! -Ryan, it's ok. +No it is not. These fuckers always get my McDonalds order wrong!" vibe duo.

[@grandarkfang_1482]

​@@canaldecasta Kuwabara and Hiei.

[@kreese-yi2nb]

Ryan is there? Bummer.

[@chapman2001]

@@kreese-yi2nbsnowflake

[@chapman2001]

@@kreese-yi2nbsnowflake

[@Notsogoodguitarguy]

Normal Jedi: can deflect hundreds of laser rifle shots while backflipping and flying through the air and talking and shit. Trinity-Jedi: Literally can't focus on two things at once.

[@Jerthy100]

Exactly, the universe over and over established that Jedi, even Padawans are able to comfortably deflect blaster bolts from multiple sources at once, better jedi can even deflect them back at the attackers. FFS it's established that it's one of the first things they learn. Even while blinded. Meanwhile Trinity - a MASTER Jedi gets rekt by 2 slow-ass knives thrown at the same time by same person. This show is fucking amazing, i can't wait to get more. I love dumpster fires.... Hahahahaha i love when my favorite franchises get massacred by absolutely deranged writers...... i love it all.....

[@axiss5840]

One of my favourite sequences in Attack of the Clones is where Mace Windu leaps 20 meters into the air and deflects two blaster shots while tangled in his still-burning jedi robe. Trinity could have just... moved.

[@Unknown-hb3id]

I can't stop thinking of Clone Wars (2003) Obi-Wan using the Force to deflect dozens of little darts when fighting against Durge, and Trinity can't grab a couple knives she expects that're coming.

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

I'd do a Ryan and excuse her because she's a woman, but even that wouldn't make sense.

[@Lalle524]

​@@Unknown-hb3id Durge was a menace in the show where Jedi are one man armies with the right experience. Crazy to compare that to... This.

[@hassathunter2464]

"She got a twin" "Soooo... why didn't we go after her?" "Oopsie?" Worst. law enforcement. Ever.

[@Dagenspear]

I think it's said it's not in her file and that she was thought to be dead.

[@zscout1288]

How can it not be in her file and the Jedi know that she has a twin

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Especially when there's witnesses that state the girl was on that ship all that time, and would never have been there or acted the way she did if she had. "They thought she was dead" yet they never saw a body. And somehow they narrowed her down to that one person, who just happens to be part of a pair of twins. In a galaxy with trillions of life forms.

[@frankvandorp2059]

"She got a twin" "Soooo... why didn't we go after her?" "So the plot can happen."

[@brettholcomb3763]

@@zscout1288 Well, four Jedi knew. Why didn't they put it in her file? An intriguing mystery.

[@Ericshadowblade]

Established lore in the prequels. There hasnt been sith activity for over a thousand years. Disney: so there a sith killing jedi a hundred years before the prequells

[@darthdragonborn1552]

Prequels- A child conceived through the force, omg this is unheard of, it’s the prophecy!!!! Acolyte Ep 3- So yeah, were gonna go ahead and have 2 lesbian force users conceive of female twins through the force

[@silverprimus321boi9]

Oh buddy this gets even worse. The high republic has this faction called the nihil, which are basically knock off KOTOR mandalorians, and they have this gimmicky warp drive that allows them to appear and vanish from space without a trace. These guys were so much of a problem that they took over half the galaxy, and caused the jedi to undergo radical reform. In the time when it was a 1000 years of relative peace. The high republic was a disaster from the start.

[@purple3018]

@@silverprimus321boi9please no

[@brettholcomb3763]

Wait we are taking the words of Ki-Adi-Mundi as established lore? That dude was pretty much wrong about everything. Wasn't he saying this to argue with Qui-Gon, when Qui-Gon was trying to tell him he just saw a Sith?

[@Ericshadowblade]

@brettholcomb3763 thats was the same stance the rest of the high council and even yoda had that thier hadnt been sith activity since the end of the dark brotherhood

[@ngabel8956]

There's no reason the twins need to have the same haircut except to trick the audience, which is strange since the truth is revealed in episode 1.

[@aquapendulum]

Indara: [Uses the Force to throw all of Mae's knives out of the window] "What now, assassin?" And the rest of the show doesn't happen.

[@nobody2996]

Even funnier because that's basically what Sol does in the next episode.

[@emptyblank099a]

She literally has hidden knives up her sleeves...

[@BigBroTejano]

@@emptyblank099a and? How does that halt Indara using the force to disarm and stop Mae from using any of her weapons?

[@emptyblank099a]

@@BigBroTejano Oh ok I understand. Indara was caught off guard, she was shocked to see the girl alive after all these years and felt guilt like the master Jedi in episode 2. Just another nitpick like fire in space. Why doesnt vader force grip luke and instantly end the duel? The force has always been inconsistant in the series.

[@noisyapplemc6896]

​@@emptyblank099aHe seemed to prefer using his lightsaber in most fights

[@Ambanoid]

"What'd you bring me" is still going strong. You love to see it.

[@NoPantsBaby]

My favorite part was Fringy saying: "What was her plan, was she hoping nobody would notice." Cause he didn't have the *twist* spoiled for him. I laughed so hard. Thank you master of the goo.

[@lordmontymord8701]

Yeah, Mauler (and others) knew, but they didn't want to spoil it for him ... didn't want to ruin the perfect twist 😁

[@lordmontymord8701]

@bumtism I can actually understand Rags not listening to them. He probably thought the others were joking, becaus no way they would use something so stupid as a "my twin did it"-plot. That was just underestimating the level of bad writing we got.

[@danielmiller5778]

18:23 They really took the idea of “holocrons only being accessible with the force” to a new level. Now there are doors only accessible via the force. Whats next? Beds only being accessible with the force? Is someone gonna hook up a force treadmill to a space tv and have someone constantly running it so that someone can watch the local pod races? Or is that one Jedi just so full of himself that he felt the need to do a hand motion for an automatic door like he’s a Star Wars nerd going through automatic doors at a Walmart?

[@TheLoos3Goos33]

Just was listening to Open Bar and Mauler makes a good suggestion for this episode that I'd like to add to. Mauler suggested adding to the opening fight scene, as a byproduct of the chaos of the fight, something heavy is jostled loose and is about to fall onto an innocent bystander, maybe the little kid alien to make it extra dramatic. Then having Trinity and Evil twin both reach out with the force to save the kid at the same time. You could tell a lot with the characters at that point just by having them look at each other and react to that event. This would play into making Trinity actually feel like a morally good person who I don't want to see die, while also playing into Evil Twin's worldview. Evil Twin should actually be a little surprised by this Jedi doing something good, considering her negative opinion of them, which could potentially play into some self doubt about her own convictions.

[@egor6849]

I want to point something the cast missed: she fucking fell from space and sustained no injuries! That ship had no power, it couldn’t slow down in any way except for air resistance, it might’ve protected her from the temperature, but it would’ve done literally nothing to soften the fall. I don’t want to understate just how dumb it is, again, our protagonist fell from space and survived without even a bruise to show for it. Sounds like something from a parody movie, but here we are. P.S. The same thing happened with Fury in The Marvels, seems like Disney writers need to read an eighth grade physics book again and learn what conservation of momentum is.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

Reminds me of better media, remember in Halo CE When the marines in the escape pod die from the impact because the writers had some awareness of physics?

[@uhagi6720]

@@MediumRareOpinions John Halo pinballing in the escape pod will always be one of the funniest Halo theories

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

You realize there's such a thing as terminal velocity right? You realize that falling in a plane from above the clouds is about as survivable as a car crash right? They can only fall so fast, and even OUR tech can make that a super survivable fall.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

@@elyrienvalkyr8167 uncontrolled descent in an aircraft without power typically results in the total destruction of the aircraft. Survival isn't even entertained as a possibility in those scenarios. Controlled descent in a plane with partial power or unpowered descent in a plane that is stable while gliding allows for the possibility of survival. This craft is entering an atmosphere from space at speeds exceeding its freefall terminal velocity, its not designed to generate lift from wing or body surfaces and has lost the ability to sustain flight under power. When it hits the ground the forces involved will be massive, too much for a fragile human being to survive

[@egor6849]

@@elyrienvalkyr8167 yes, i know what terminal velocity is, that’s why i mentioned air resistance, i also know that said terminal velocity is more than enough to kill you when hitting the ground dead on. As for the planes, you do realise that planes have a nice design feature called wings, that allows them to glide even when all engines are out, right? A design feature the spaceship in the episode doesn’t have, not that that would even matter, since it was tumbling anyway. And when you cite statistics, you should really know what those statistics are, the survival rate in plane accidents that you cited includes basically everything, like emergency landings and other incidents, which obviously wouldn’t apply here.

[@This_Is_Something]

Having Ryan on, bringing the two best parts of star grift together once more, with Theo is brewing excitement.

[@rolandoaramirez1746]

Fuck a little roast there

[@marcogenovesi8570]

No don't be like that, Theory is good too

[@JPMonster13]

@@marcogenovesi8570 He's good like "6.5/7"... They're great "8/8.5".

[@nhagan001]

@@marcogenovesi8570ah yes, the “Vader hated the Death Star” and “Filoni is the only left to piss in our mouth in this desert.” He truly is a GLEDB. We could hire SWT to read super chats, since he was so great at that.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

@@nhagan001 can confirm that Filoni is pissing in everybody's mouths, so that's correct. As for Vader it's an ok take we can disagree on

[@zacharynelson5731]

The open bars/Efaps on the acolyte had me more excited than the show itself

[@paleface171]

It has been that way for me since mando season one. These guys made those shows bearable to watch.

[@Shineinpoverty]

I live in fear they run out of money and stop making these. Of course, I could help and subscribe to D+, but I will not.

[@1stmorgoth289]

"There is strong evidence" apparently one bartender and his child saying someone did something is enough evidence to imprison someone on the other end of the galaxy. Just imagine if that bartender was on the enemie team and said a tall green forceuser did it.

[@krakalicious5277]

Bar tender: A dread headed black woman killed the Jedi Master....Jedi: I know exactly who you are talking about!

[@hassathunter2464]

Suspect: "It was another dreadlocked woman" Jedi: "Suuuure" Master Jedi: "Naah, she has a twin... oh didn't tell you?"

[@Tundra.]

I can think of only one dark-skinned, dreadlocked human being in the universe of trillions of life forms. It must be them!

[@kabirarya5381]

@@Tundra. I mean a force user with that description i am sure wasn't that common, and they also got the literal witness to say it was her, you can criticize that this was all that was considered and no alibi of hers was taken considering she said she was on the ship and this could easily be confirmed, but the jedi probably don't know a lot of force users who match the description of osha, so I don't really see how your criticism makes sense.

[@Maybeabandaid9]

"So you knew the phrase and you still came to my office with that attitude?" I died laughing at that one.

[@kylefrank638]

Factoid: The facehugger thing that the prisoners say is used to subdue dangerous criminals is called a Dybbuk, which is the real-life spelling for a poltergeist in Jewish mythology, and the name literally translates to "cling/adhere". Like it does to faces! That's kinda neat I think.

[@soulsearcher9620]

Assassin : Uses innocent lives to threaten Jedi Also Assassin : Sees child and goes soft hearted These two things do not co-exist easily and require a FUCKTON of work to make function as a story.

[@toriaoi1695]

"Jedi don't attack the unarmed" "Yes, you *do* " Oh, I guess you have a problem with Jedi who abuse their power or something *Uses innocent bystanders as shields or distractions* Oh, I guess not. Or you're a hypocrite .....you're probably a hypocrite. It would be *REALLY* interesting to have an assassin (who ISN'T force sensitive) going around killing 'bad' jedi (who abuse their power/influence) while trying to avoid good ones who are hunting them.

[@KarazolaX]

@@toriaoi1695 I can forgive THAT, they're supposed to be a villain and are allowed to be hypocritical. But I can't forgive them for making the character so transparently a special important main character girl that you know she's going to win. They really thought just getting rid of the single actor with a name was going to get people excited for their show, I honestly imagine anyone who tuned in because they heard CAM was in it just to turn it off.

[@oXRaptorzXo]

That totally does work though? Most killers won’t kill a child but will an adult

[@hosaepalvin9795]

@@oXRaptorzXothen that's just writing with a preset and not a character.

[@oXRaptorzXo]

@@hosaepalvin9795 Except Mae probably has sympathy for the child because her parents were murdered at a young age as well.

[@HectorLopez0217]

“What do you see?” Youngling: I see fire in space

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

you mean like a star? A literal ball of fire in space?

[@crater0504]

​@@elyrienvalkyr8167 A star is made of plasma... from nuclear fusion...

[@ciege7486]

​​@@elyrienvalkyr8167Good god, I've seen you coping in other comments, but this takes the R-tard cake

[@SatanLiterally]

​@@crater0504 don't expect Disney Star Wars shills to think much.

[@LN997-i8x]

​@@elyrienvalkyr8167What a comical misunderstanding of a star, god damn.

[@LordPhoton-rl4ot]

She used the force to open the automatic sliding doors like every little kid at the super market.

[@daeamiralis]

"jedi on a predator planet" horror movie idea sounds a lot like how I remember the Felucia mission from BF2 feeling when I was a kid

[@darthsamba]

Someone argued that the reason Sabine survived a lightsaber is because sabers have a power knob that can be turned up and down. Guess Shin accidentally set her plasma sword to stun instead of kill lol.

[@lordofthepizzapie9319]

She set it to cigar lighter mode

[@MediumRareOpinions]

They do have weaker sabers in the old books but they're the ones given to children in basic jedi training. Did her master give Shin the star wars equivalent of a wooden practice sword?

[@a_fine_edition2746]

What a silly argument lmao. Yes that’s true. Lightsabers can and have had lower intensity settings, usually for training safely. Shin has literally no reason to have her blade on low power, and the fact it runs Sabine straight through and sears her innards kinda runs contradictory to it.

[@Ceyx000]

It was set to stunning & brave.

[@aquapendulum]

Does it matter what mode it was set to when we can see with our own eyes that Sabine has a hole punctured all the way through her stomach and the lightsaber blade even come out of her back in that show?

[@Tiltigo]

Good to know that a small knife to the chest is more deadly than a lightsaber through your guts.

[@Jedi_Spartan]

The entire premise Rags comes up with at 41:07 would be PERFECT for a Jedi Sentinel since they're the ones most likely to be interesting in concept as - unlike most Jedi - they usually keep one foot in the real world/galaxy by focusing on regular skills that don't rely on the Force: leading them to fill roles like tech experts/slicers, spies, investigators, watchmen (Jedi who work on a local system/sector level) etc. The Jedi Sentinels were severely underused even in pre Disney content. Also one Jedi character type I'd want to see is a Jedi from an otherwise pre spaceflight species/culture (like the Tusken Jedi A'sharad Hett in the 2000s comics) to explore how being the only person from their species in the wider Galaxy affects them, eg: do they feel isolated or insecure about their place in the Jedi, do they know anything about their species, what event led to them becoming a Jedi, how do others in the Galaxy treat them on an individual level etc. To get the most out of that concept, I think such a character should probably be a similar age to Yord or Phantom Menace Obi Wan who both seem to be in their 20s.

[@Ericshadowblade]

Tuskens arent preflight species they reject technological advancement as part of thier culture history.

[@awilson5684]

My friends and I were gearing up to do a CSI: Ord Mandell game in the TTRPG. Sadly, it never came to fruition.

[@xel1673]

Trinity: "The Jedi do not attack the unarmed." Assassin Girl: >angry< "Yes you do." =proceeds to attack everyone who is unarmed= So it's all right when Assassin Girl does it, but not the Jedi? And next you'll tell me AG has the moral high ground.

[@86lanzo]

2018 starwars - no ones ever truly gone 2024 starwars - no ones ever truly straight

[@luthasunspell8365]

And if they are, we’ll shame them for their heterosexual ability to reproduce by… magicking up lesbi-twins via witch coven. Yeah.

[@Avarn388]

This series has some really bad “and then” syndrome. Cause and effect is completely borked. Also, the insanity of having the assassin kill the Jedi in a bar raises so many questions. Why would you rely on just witness testimonies? Aren’t there holo recordings and other records? This is why I tell folks whenever you craft really put some thought into your world, plot and characters. Ask tons of questions and get as specific as possible. Because these are the kinds of things that can make or break suspension of disbelief.

[@Splobkingofsplob]

Someone seems to have mixed up the words "Lifesaver" and "Lightsaber" considering how non-lethal Star Wars' most iconic weapon has become as of late

[@ad-sd-vids5332]

Sol- “your eyes can deceive you, don’t trust them” Also sol- “I saw her die”

[@oXRaptorzXo]

But she wasn’t dead. That is literally the point.

[@Сайтамен]

That's why he easily believed her, I guess...

[@brendofire2084]

@@oXRaptorzXohe trusted his eyes.

[@oXRaptorzXo]

@@brendofire2084 Yes and that’s the whole point. His eyes deceived him

[@brendofire2084]

@@oXRaptorzXo yeah and you’d think that a guy who would’ve had this lesson drilled into his head for decades would’ve known not to do this when he saw his sister die. Looked into the force, meditated to find the truth, but he just accepted and moved on

[@caprinori]

The extremely early reveal of the secret twin sister is giving me Batwoman vibes, though here it's not nearly as entertaining with how poorly it's done

[@bmardiney]

Fringy's go-to "joke": >sees a little cute alien "Boy, I'd like to see all about that little guy's life."

Which says it all, a weird little alien is more interesting than a bunch of useless men and Mary Sues.

[@CrustlessKing]

That bar just keeps getting lower doesn't it?

[@ghostprojekt]

It's reaching Earth's core at this point

[@nodot17]

They thought they were playing limbo

[@Unknown-hb3id]

@@ghostprojekt And it's there bc it was a lightsaber limbo bar, melting all the way down there!

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

It's so low the core of the planet is sweating with how close it is.

[@tomjames9681]

Why the hell can Osha not just say, “hey, all of my colleagues and shipmates can give me an alibi for the time period your asking me about, as if the distance and time involved with the crime’s location isn’t difficult enough to account for.” Yunnoh, like the first fucking thing that gets asked and answered in even the most bottom-of-the-barrel police procedurals. And if the point is “the jedi are stupid and overzealous, it’s intentional by the writers how poorly they conduct the investigation”, then how fucking dumb can they be before it crosses a line? You’re still writing characters that WANT to solve a crime. Establishing the whereabouts of a suspect is not big brain mind-palace detective writing, it’s basic reason. All of this pales in comparison to the fact that you can READ MINDS. A mystery involving a telepath detective could be a really cool writing challenge to deal with, something a current say Star Wars writer could never manage. Edit: watching the episode again, they do make a big deal of saying the crew weren’t around her for the evening but she wouldn’t tell them what she was up to on her own. That gets rid of… oh cool, one issue.

[@axiss5840]

That's what pissed me off. They're borderline psychic, how did they not go 'oh wow I'm getting exactly 0% feeling that this person was involved in any way.'

[@Сайтамен]

Her collague said they didn't saw her last night.

[@lordmontymord8701]

@@Сайтамен A whole night? I think they could have said "I guess we haven't seen her for twenty minutes." and these Jedi would go "See? No alibi." But why would you even ask if anyone saw her? The bartender saying it was her is clearly enough evidence!

[@Сайтамен]

@@lordmontymord8701 well yes, that's what witnesses are for.

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Don't they have cameras on ships? You'd think they would. But logic was never Disney Star Wars forte.

[@Cats-TM]

35:28 "Save the dream!"-Forest Whitaker.

[@BaldorfBreakdowns]

One of the best quotes in Star Wars ;(

[@2ndRodeo_Keziah]

This is where the fun begins.

[@Sadovari]

Sol : I saw her die. Sol: She is alive. I can feel it. Disney writers: Both of these things make sense!

[@The_Laughing_Cavalier]

The Schlurpolite, Episode 1: *fade in* On the planet Shlurpo, there were once two Shlurpo's, one good and one bad. Bad Shlurpo became a black samurai in feudal Japan and embarked on a killing spree against the Jedi's. Her first victim was Master Dee Dee Jettster (Great-Grandfather of the famous Dexter Jettster), whom she killed in a bar. Dee's Dee's final words would become an immortal legend... "Kamino Saber Dahrt!" Meanwhile, Good Shlurpo was a mechanic, researching spiders in the Amazon just like her mother. However, the Jedi thought that Good Shlurpo was actually the killer so she is arrested, Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple, Ho Lee Fuk is teaching the younglings how to count to three. He regrets that he did not use enough shlurpo's in training his former padawan. Good Shlurpo breaks out of prison, and flees, doing the Kessel run in 13 shlurpos. Meanwhile, Bad Shlurpo looks for her next victim... Tune in next week for more shlurpo, sponsored by shlurpo.

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

This is better then all WarsStar made after Return"O"Jedi.

[@longshanksgunner5478]

Best we can do is 198 million. Not enough Droid reparations.

[@sognurT]

"Ho Lee Fuk" 💀

[@michaelhixson6939]

Hail Shlurpo, I pray you receive many blessed Shlurpos for your post is very shlurpo. Until next time, hail Shlurpo.

[@Ceyx000]

May the Slurp be with you

[@CharlesZane_]

Going up to a Jedi Master, seemingly at random and saying “attack me” is the same level of writing as Vader going after Obi-Wan and asking if Obi-Wan has come to destroy him.

[@Unknown-hb3id]

Don't forget that she repeats the line too - "with all your power" or some crap like that lol

[@zombiespikelee]

Imagine if the U.S. Navy Seals captured Osama bin Laden and then handed him over to the local police for transport. That's what the prison ship scene felt like.

[@darkbum1510]

I can't fucking believe that they did the "it's the twin" trope. That shit has already been a trope when Agatha fucking Christie was writing...

[@KelShu]

Surely the trade ship would have security cameras and data logs for people entering and exiting on it. Not to mention Osha hasn’t been training in the force for six years, so she wouldn’t even be capable of killing a Jedi Master. Even if we disregard all of that, all they have to is do a Jedi mind trick and they will know that it wasn’t her.

[@a_fine_edition2746]

Well the implication is that mind tricks only work on the weak-minded, and that Osha or essentially anyone trained in the Force wouldn’t be susceptible. But the telepathic and mental capabilities have expanded so much and it’s still super unclear which ones are Jedi techniques and which are Dark aside powers, like probing into someone’s mind for information. It’s just a mess.

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

The invention of cameras in Disney Star Wars never happened, or they're so expensive that they're rare. Because apparently droids, starships and blasters cost less than a device that records stuff.

[@KelShu]

@@RhysCallinan-hf7qx Those cheapskate Neimoidians can’t be bothered to install surveillance cameras

[@blackdragoncyrus]

It took 1 minute for Fringy to go "I want to learn more about that character."

[@erraticbear5898]

The evil twin saying "Attack me with all your strength" has the energy of a weeb who's watched too much Naruto and decided to stand up to his bully

[@MorallyDubiousFrog]

“This woman is a force user and suspected Jedi killer, should we have some Jedi escort her to the Temple.” “Nah, it’ll be fine.”

[@jindrichdolejs623]

I mean you'd send cops on cop killers

[@lordmontymord8701]

@@jindrichdolejs623Not in a world created by writers of this talent: There they would have Paul Blart guard the person that killed a whole SWAT-team ...

[@MorallyDubiousFrog]

@@lordmontymord8701 We’ve finally captured this crazy marine who shot up the police station. Thankfully, the local Boy Scout troop is available to guard the prison bus.

[@Jodanger37]

The speed this came out is very impressive. I salute you 🫡

[@absolutechaos13]

16:17 "The Jedi taught me to count cards. I still haven't figured out how that relates to the Jedi Way, but it has been pretty useful."

[@cameraman502]

42:12 wouldnt it cool to explore if in the course of a criminal procedural they explored the mind probing thing and its role in civil rights? Like we can probe some people in our investigation but that might be abused and taint evidence and testimony. Wouldnt something like miranda rights be difficult in a world where a jedi can use suggestion?

[@Gwaeddwynn]

Imagine a story, only 100 years (or so) before the prequels, that has the potential to wake up the jedi order in it's entirety... and then they are back to being blind for everything again during the prequel time. could this be problematic in any way? I'm probably overthinking this too much :D

[@janehrahan5116]

"the skills aren't transferable" mfw the entire natural force sensitivity was found by jedi because they tend to succeed at whatever they do, especially things that require fine motor skills or reflexes beyond their species.

[@enkiduthewildman]

I mean, you could go into pod racing...

[@Unknown-hb3id]

What are you talking about? Heightened physical abilities and senses are *totally* useless in the real world, man!

[@janehrahan5116]

@@enkiduthewildman im talking eu lore, but yes pod racing is one example.

[@SatanLiterally]

There's infinite ways Jedi skills could be used in other areas besides being a Jedi.

[@brettholcomb3763]

@@SatanLiterally Yeah, but this character seemed to want to distance themselves from their past, the Jedi, and using the force.

[@asinner8]

Ha! 15 minute galaxies? Maybe that’s how they’re getting to these places so fast?

[@samdurfee6093]

17:16 A single eyewitness testimony should not be enough to warrant an official arrest, not even modern day standards are like this, you need evidence. Especially in Starwars where Changlings are a thing, never mind the technology available to alter one’s appearance, see a particular episode of Clone Wars for that. Sure bring her in for questioning, but does this need to be at Corasunt? Her location wouldn’t change her testimony, additionally her place of employment would have recorded her hours of operation so it’s an easy alibi. I don’t think the writer knows what the fuck she’s doing.

[@axiss5840]

Not to mention their borderline psychic intuition, and the fact that any branch of the jedi that investigates Jedi murders ahould have their absolute best at the job doing it.

[@aquapendulum]

If they want the black Jedi guy to zero in on Osha as the suspect, they have a plot device right there that they didn't use: FORCE MIND READING. Yord can Force Mind Read the witness to get an actual visual of the assassin from the witness' memory and go "Oh, I recognize that girl. That's Osha. She left the Order 6 years ago!". That's not a thorough solution though because if they rewrite the script that way, the next problem they encounter is that Yord can mind read everybody's memory on that Trade Fed ship to corroborate that Osha was working on their ship way too far away from the crime scene to be the assassin. That would give Osha an alibi right away and then the rest of the show cannot happen.

[@samdurfee6093]

@@aquapendulum here’s the thing. It would be so easy to mark her location during the event of the assassination. Security Cameras exist, records of her work as well. It is entirely impossible for her to go and kill a Jedi and get back within any reasonable time. Proving her innocence should be soooooooo easy, but no we need her to be on the City Planet so they arrest her, due process be damned.

[@Nexus_Hives]

EFAP TV/Movies are my only joy in life.

[@pyerack]

Lets be honest, Star Wars has been a playground for amateur film makers for the last few years. All of these projects look like very high budget highschool video class projects. Every person they bring on to write and direct these scripts act like it's their first time ever writing anything in their life. All they seem to know is that a story is a sequence of events, how do we connect these events? Idk but we can try to figure it out as we go. It's probably just being used as a bounce pad to elevate one's career. Just to put it on a resume "Yeah I worked in star wars, that big brand. You should hire me for your next show."

[@spacemanspud7073]

I'm shocked at how much they half ass every one of these shows. Reminds me of like a former SNL writer said they would just screw around the entire time and when the deadline came near they would quickly crap something out on a page in the last minute

[@Coconut-219]

"The [[Obi Wan TV show]] and it's after-effects have been disastrous for [[Star Wars]]" -Darth Longman the Wise

[@oscargruber8582]

Little Nitpicking but they NEVER get the title screen correct or consistent, apparently. We have the title crawl from the movies, the Powerpoint in Solo, the red title crawl in Ahsoka, this weird bullet point thing and the shows with no title screen at all.

[@ogcipher4967]

I am so incrediby happy Rags brought up the "you could be a bartender" cause I was arguing that yesterday. Great minds.

[@leipzigergnom]

You could pour drinks while reclining in a chair

[@ogcipher4967]

@@leipzigergnom Imagine the drink mixing tricks you can do with telechinetic powers

[@leipzigergnom]

@@ogcipher4967 Exactly! Plus you can easily kick troublemakers out of your bar.

[@malachiconstant2756]

Ryan comin in hot with the based Filoni take. You love to see it

[@therukshuka3616]

On a droid-only operated prison ship, who are the escape pods for?

[@Brian-gw5hg]

My favorite part was when Schlurpo said, "It's Acolyting time!"

[@merlin2.085]

One thing I feel that I should bring up is that, from what I remember from year 12 biology, even identical twins will develop physical differences over time if exposed to different conditions or stimuli. Of course, the show is unaware of this, but also doesn’t know how cosmically stupid it is for both of them to have the same hair style.

[@SallinKari]

I love how being stabbed by a beam of plasma is far less lethal then three inches of steel.

[@25mdarchi]

13:48 pretty sure that knife wasn't long enough to do anything. If anything it just stabbed her boob. HOW IS THAT FATAL!?

[@ghostprojekt]

Everyone knows boobs are just airbags, duh.

[@TheMaleRei]

Star Wars Jedi boobs are actually explosive reactive armor - but facing the wrong way. That's why she perished.

[@elyrienvalkyr8167]

Because hearts are only like 2 inches below the skin, if that. This is taught to children, how do you not know how deep a heart is in your own body?

[@25mdarchi]

​@@elyrienvalkyr8167 ok then lets go with the fact that the blade definitely didnt look wide enough to slip between Trinity's ribs, and definitely not heavy enough to smash through them. It's possible that was fatal, just highly improbable.

[@SpartyCubsFan]

@@elyrienvalkyr8167But her Boobs extend far out from her skin, or used to anyway

[@bohort]

I loved the part when trinity said ‘I’m too old for this shlurpo’

[@jamesavis1]

In just over a decade we've unironically gone from "hmm, the Jedi have a few flaws" to "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

[@Ashkihyena]

Yep, basically they become Anakin Skywalker.

[@Atheismo9760]

@@Ashkihyena No, Anakin clearly didn't anything wrong.

[@jmace2424]

“Attack me with all your wits.” “Jedi do not attack the unarmed.” Got ‘Em 🤣

[@colossicus555]

I can't stop thinking about the Occupational Safety Hazard Association

[@xel1673]

"That is a lesson for another day. Time for lunch." "Sol, my dear friend. How lucky these younglings are to have such a compassionate teacher." ... Is lunch not a daily occurrence for padawans?

[@7hird3ye]

So happy to see the egyptian lord on EFAP! Hopefully Theory will join you guys at some point.

[@Kirschbaum2000]

How in the fuck did Carry-Ann Moss die there, while Maul, the Inquisitorguy and Reeva(2x) with their respective injuries didnt??

[@luthasunspell8365]

She wasn’t diverse enough to live.

[@shiggydiggy6847]

It's infuriating to see jedi assassination being executed in such a dumb way because Kotor 2 explored ways to assassinate jedi with both HK-47 and Atton. To counter mindreading you'd fill your mind with garbage like thinking about card game hands. Preferred way to operate was to use gas, sniper rifles or explosives because force tricks don't help against them. Direct confrontation was to be avoided because jedi counter blaster fire, have advantage in melee and are prone to get short term premonitions.

[@Dr.Pelican-bw2zs]

18:22 Anyone else think of their 9-year-old selves waving their hand in front of the mall motion sensor doors

[@JaimieSch]

What an absolute waste of the one actor who anyone actually cares about, to be killed in the first scene. Also, I don't buy for a second that she couldn't have stop both knives at once. She's a jedi, with hyper fast reflexes. Whatever happened to Qui Gon's line about jedi being able to "See things before they happen."? Hell, Disney had Obi Wan lifting multiple heavy boulders at once, but two tiny knives is too much to handle? They got Trinity to be in this show, had her be really uninterested in stopping someone from assaulting innocent bystanders, fail to stop the assassin in the 50 different ways she could have done with her lightsaber (even without killing her), and then just die to the most obvious sneak attack in history. The second the assassin starting pulling knives on people, Trinity should have chopped her arm off and taken her to jail. The entire plot of this show is instigated by having Trinity be terrible at her job. Great start.

[@rulerofthesaints999]

I was already waiting for efap to cover this trash but im even more hype now that ryan is joining in on this.

[@Dagenspear]

PLEASE, you, and EVERYONE, if you haven't already, embrace the One True Only God YHWH Jehovah, Only One Jesus Christ His Only Begotten Son and Lord and Savior of our souls and the Only One Holy Spirit. God is good. God is love. Jesus is Lord. Jesus IS coming. Your soul depends on it! I have seen God act in my life. He saved my soul, changed my heart, changed my mind, helped people through me, took care of people in my life, people I hurt before I found God. God is the only reason I was able to reconcile with my dad before he died. God worked through Jesus Christ to save our souls. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. Be baptized in The Holy Spirit, and if He wills, water as well. Repent of your sins, accept God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit into your heart, that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, that all who believe on Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Jesus Christ is The Way, The Truth and The Life. No one comes to the Father Jehovah God but through Him. Not long after I got saved I prayed to God for help understanding the Holy Bible, and that same day someone knocked on my door asking me if I wanted to understand the Bible. The Holy Bible says, "love thy enemy", "turn the other cheek", "If your enemy is hungry, feed him", "if he is thirsty, give him a drink", "pray for those who persecute you", "do not repay evil for evil". LORD willing, all humans may commit sin of almost every kind (gay, straight), and that's wrong, and all humans sin, as God tells us through the The Holy Bible, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." The Holy Bible also says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

[@Genubath1]

The twin twist is funny considering that this is in a universe where quick-bake clones exist.

[@1stmorgoth289]

Didnt thought about that one. Imagine something like that Happening in the clone wars.

[@Сайтамен]

It still takes several years to grow an adult clone. Plus it won't be force sensitive.

[@1stmorgoth289]

@@Сайтамен *cough* snoke *cough*

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

​@@СайтаменDude, Spartii clones take up to six months to grow, if you don't want to count Kamino clones that have half lives. Spartii cloning tech does exist in this era

[@Сайтамен]

@@RhysCallinan-hf7qx was that ever mentioned in canon?

[@joesmutz9287]

I hope Star Wars Theory makes it onto one of these recordings The resulting conversation between him and Theo will be legendary

[@samuraijaco1]

Gotta love how they made small knives more effective than fucking lightsabers. I guess we can all say, now, that Peter Parker in amazing spider man was right… they’re their only weaknesses…

[@Astroman10]

Wait, if only droids are operating this ship, then purple hair really fucked up!

[@SoRePeSi]

The way Rag','''s catches the tiniest cgi on the darkest of scenes genuinely amazes me And I don't know if I like the ship moving differently after the thingy was ejected. I guess the cargo is just people, and it is relatively small if you look at the thingy, but I'm not sure it's light enough to be affected that much by the ejection. Unless that thing was shot at full power through the air, which raises more questions.

[@mryellow6918]

You'd preferably want a escape pod to be fast.

[@spaceghost996]

"it gets worse because the story happens" 😂