She's Having My Baby: The Complicated Business of Surrogacy in America | ELLE

[@Shellybops-wl8yk]

The practice of surrogacy raises complex ethical questions because it involves the use of a woman's body as a means to an end. While it is true that surrogacy can bring joy and fulfillment to those who are struggling with infertility, it also poses serious risks and challenges for the surrogate mother, who may be forced to undergo physical and emotional burdens for the benefit of others. While I think that surrogacy is a beautiful thing and most women who choose this option for themselves truly partake in it to help other women in need, it makes me ponder the question of whether or not the monetary aspect of surrogacy is exploiting women of lower socioeconomic status who view this as a way to provide for herself or her family and may not fully grasp the concept or consequences.

[@zainebhidoussi1498]

exactly i feel so happy if women CHOOSE to do this for themselves but i'll feel SUPER BAD if some women are forced to do this for money

[@apebass2215]

Fundamentally it is child trafficking. Even puppies are legally obligated to stay with their mothers for longer than babies born via surrogacy.

[@HarpersBazaar]

This is incredible! Well done ELLE 👏👏

[@caglanecat]

Creating babies for families , is this really ok ? what about the baby ,what will the baby will feel in the long run, its a start to life with the trauma of seperation.

[@lin-sb5di]

I was born through surrogacy, and I was so confused for a while of how it worked

[@nabaninandi4140]

Well because your parents were insecure...and has no idea how positively give message...

[@ritaruchlin9661]

Did you ever met your surrogate mother?

[@billmartins5545]

Do you even know who is your genetic mother and who carried you? I feel really sorry for you, I can't imagine the loss being raised away from your mother.

[@angelaegan7511]

It's disgraceful, nobody thinks of the effect on the child.

[@AnimatedBlast]

Better than other kids.

[@ayeshaa6890]

What are the effects?

[@angelaegan7511]

​@@ayeshaa6890 How much time do you have? I could spend all day answering this question.

[@Jennifer-p8g]

@@angelaegan7511maybe just one answer? You don’t know what you’re talking about 😂

[@angelaegan7511]

@@Jennifer-p8g I was adopted as were many of my friends, you don't need to tell me how children feel in this situation. It causes life long problems.

[@tadareiusjohnson3110]

We not gunna talk about the emotional distress put upon the baby? A bell is not the same thing as a mothers heart beat…

[@JimmyCrow-fz6yf]

The argument that surrogacy causes emotional distress to babies due to separation overlooks several key factors. First, emotional bonds and attachment can be successfully formed with the intended parents through early and consistent care, outweighing the significance of prenatal physical proximity to the surrogate. Second, surrogates are typically prepared emotionally for their role, reducing potential distress for all involved. Moreover, research suggests that children born via surrogacy show no significant differences in emotional well-being compared to their peers. Ultimately, the quality of parenting and the loving care provided post-birth are the most crucial factors for a child’s emotional development, not the biological connection or the circumstances of birth.

[@MedicalEthics-f7l]

Surrogacy is a complex and controversial issue involving various medical, ethical, and social concerns. While it can bring hope and joy to intended parents who are unable to conceive or carry a child on their own, surrogacy can also lead to exploitation, commodification of women's bodies, and ethical dilemmas that must be carefully considered. One of the main ethical concerns associated with surrogacy is the potential for commercialization. Commercial surrogacy can violate the principle of respect for persons, as it may lead to the exploitation of women's bodies for financial gain. In some countries, women are paid a fraction of what intended parents pay for surrogacy services. This may lead to the commodification of human life, where the surrogate's body becomes a commodity. This situation can be dangerous for the surrogate, who may be pressured to undergo risky medical procedures or become vulnerable to physical, emotional, and financial exploitation. The principle of non-maleficence can also be applied to surrogacy. Medical professionals involved in surrogacy should prioritize the health and well-being of the surrogate and the child, avoiding any harm or unnecessary medical interventions. Surrogates should undergo rigorous medical screening and receive adequate medical care before, during, and after the pregnancy to ensure their health and safety. Commercial surrogacy may lead to a disregard for the principle of non-maleficence, as surrogates may be subjected to risky medical procedures, such as multiple embryo transfers, to increase the chances of a successful pregnancy. This can lead to complications like premature birth, miscarriage, or maternal mortality. Additionally, surrogates may not receive adequate medical care, leading to health complications that may go unnoticed or untreated. All parties involved in surrogacy should receive fair compensation for their services without exploitation or coercion. Surrogacy can exacerbate existing social inequalities and injustices, particularly in developing countries where women are often marginalized and vulnerable. Commercial surrogacy and medical tourism can lead to the exploitation of these vulnerable populations and raise questions about the role of money in the reproductive process. We must work towards promoting a more just and equitable society for all and ensure that the surrogate mother is not being taken advantage of and that her rights are protected.

[@shaydenprime275]

Nobody asked

[@zainebhidoussi1498]

shut up@@shaydenprime275

[@Killjoy_Mel]

@@shaydenprime275Who's 'nobody' and do I know her?

[@MPG-ub5ke]

Honestly the compensation is pitiable. Should be more for the physical toll of pregnancy & the emotional toll of giving up a baby you've carried.

[@bl8892]

Does the baby share DNA with the surrogate?

[@maezin1386]

@@bl8892 no

[@myyoutube1335]

@@bl8892 so just depends if you’re using your own eggs or the other woman’s eggs.

[@northlight3120]

@@myyoutube1335 using your own egg is not surrogacy, it is a donation. totally two different things.

[@myyoutube1335]

@@northlight3120 There are different kinds of surrogacy. It’s called a traditional surrogacy. A gestational surrogacy is different. There’s information highlighting the differences available, gestational surrogacy is more common. Traditional surrogacy is still a thing though.

[@billmartins5545]

I don't think women, mothers because they will not use you as a surrogate without having had a successful pregnancy already, should be used to create a baby with the intention to take that baby away from her. It's not in the interest of the future child to be raised away from their mother. It's not in the interest of the kid(s) of the potential surrogate that their mother risks her health and even her life so some other person (sometimes not even a couple, sometimes a single man!!!) can have that baby. The surrogate can have serious health issues and even die (a pregnancy with another woman's egg is a higher risk pregnancy). How will you explain that to the kid(s) she leaves behind? "Your mother died when she had a baby for a stranger (sometimes a friend) so this single man could become a dad, but that means you no longer have a mother, sorry!". And what are the effects of the child being raised away from the woman who provided the egg (the genetic mother), from the woman who grew you for nine months?! I think it's child abuse and exploitation of women.

[@Alicewoods000]

6:34min....her capacity of de-attachment is shocking! . I was speechless after hearing her that she is looking forward doing this again!!...business are business I guess.

[@megaman2596]

She's probably lying to herself on the inside

[@ntz752]

@@megaman2596 Still noble for her,giving other women the ability to have their own kids.

[@LoreleiSwiftnezz87]

The child is an embryo belonging to a couple not her she is the carrier and knows from the start! She does not want more children and so the child is her belly buddy but not her child she keeps the child safe. And eats well , no smoking, no drinking there are alot of regulations involved . It's a selfless act not a selfish act

[@Alicewoods000]

@carolsantell3596 who said what she was doing was....selfish?..

[@daviddavidsen907]

The buissniss of selling and purchacing a human beeing. A child. It is sick.

[@danieladominga53]

Surrogacy has often been opted as a way to jump out of the vicious cycles of poverty. I don’t appreciate surrogacy. Moreover, I believe that it is an exploitation of the poor by the rich. And surrogacy brings risks to the surrogate mother and future baby. For a surrogate mother, parting with a child could turn into a serious psychological trauma. This is one of the most powerful arguments against surrogate motherhood. For the unborn baby, it also can be traumatic because mostly these children are born earlier fixed term. Babies aren’t goods which you can buy. And it is not human to exploit a woman`s body for own benefit!

[@Villanelle3]

Exactly! 👏

[@OliviaBright3]

Say it louder for the people in the back!!

[@noodle9993]

In the UK surrogacy itself isn’t completely legal, but it is illegal for it to be commercialised ie a couple to pay a women

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

unfortunatly we dont have artificial wombs which means people are forced to rely on women for kids

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@Todoneta For Life yes about that while we still need women for eggcellstechnological advances are making sure that artificial eggcells are possible

[@32mist]

OK sis I see you positivity and love coming your way enjoy your baby

[@SuperGreatSphinx]

Surrogacy is an arrangement, often supported by a legal agreement, whereby a woman agrees to become pregnant, carry the pregnancy to due term, and give birth to a child or children, all the foregoing for and on behalf of another person or persons, who are or will ultimately become the parent(s) of the newborn child or children. People may seek a surrogacy arrangement when pregnancy is medically impossible, when pregnancy risks present an unacceptable danger to the mother's health, or when a man alone or a male couple wishes to have a child. In these arrangements, monetary compensation may or may not be involved. Receiving money for the arrangement is considered commercial surrogacy; receiving no compensation beyond reimbursement of reasonable expenses is altruistic. The legality and cost of surrogacy varies widely between jurisdictions, sometimes resulting in problematic interstate or international surrogacy arrangements. Laws of some countries restrict and/or regulate surrogacy and its consequences. Those wanting to seek a surrogacy arrangement who, however, live where it is banned may travel to a jurisdiction that permits it.

[@moniikeshneider6964]

I’ve already shared some thoughts as for emotional bond concerns. This is still a hard question to discuss. It’s known babies are bound to their mothers from the first month they’ve made home. I’m really worried my daughter will seek for the surrogate’s signs in me.. Babies are always placed on the mother’s chest. Then she'll try to listen to her voice, her breath, her smell, whatever..I wish I could experience this all for the second time in my life. Could anyone help with any tips on how to cope with emotions?

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@Gunther Vincent its not their child because most of the time the surrogate mother has no genetic link to the child and was never theirs in the first place its more accurate to say they are renting the womb

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@Gunther Vincent pretty soon you will see an end to it because the artificial womb technology is being invented at fast pace and i like technologies that will permanently destroy the female monopoly to reproduction the artificial womb will end surrogacy the only reason i support it is because there is no other alternate and we still rely on women for reproduction and i support all technologies that will end the female role in reproduction and the female part of the nuclear family

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@Gunther Vincent the only reason some men even support surrogacy is because theres no artificial womb once there is surrogacy would not be used as much and me and others dont like having to use women for certain things and would very much like to cut women out of the equasion

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@Gunther Vincent no.

[@randomvintagefilm273]

It's the agencies that make the big bucks. They charge between 150 to 200 K and the woman who does all the hard work gets 30. IF they were smart they should hire a lawyer to handle the legal work and advertise in China on their own and make 100k instead.

[@wennw2711]

Nope. Surrogacy is illegal in China.

[@daviddavidsen907]

A baby is not a product to be sold. A human beeing is not something to be bought. Periode.

[@oraevalibby1890]

Wonderful story. I still think they should get paid more though. I'm glad the woman delivering had small children with her at the end, I think that helps in the process.

[@shannonsharp1084]

Right Incase they experience permanent medical problem.

[@MR-bq6xu]

I had a very challenging pregnancy and I’m scared to ever go through that it again

[@zainebhidoussi1498]

i hope you're okay now

[@AnimatedBlast]

Don’t. My mom almost died, and my dad was at the pub.

[@billmartins5545]

Then don't.

[@RachelLieberman88]

I learned so much

[@dov_god122]

Adoption is a option

[@cherryblossom9422]

people want biological children

[@gingerdorsett2595]

It’s an option, but it not just a line you get into and then when it’s your turn you receive your child. Adoption is hard. And usually surrogacy is the absolute last option before giving up completely.

[@ct5951]

Yes, for everyone. Not just people with infertility. How many children have you adopted?

[@brandielyn21]

I’m adopted and I’m considering using a surrogate. I would like to have a biological child myself

[@littlecat5293]

@@brandielyn21 its not a right to have biological children.

[@PeterBollen-dp8wi]

Één draag moeder zou ik kiezen of adoptie, wat de vrouw haar voor keuze is als je maar gelukkig samen word!!!!

[@wowsports8800]

Surrogates are Literally a blessing to the world, I have so many respect and appreciation for them. I wish all the blessings in life for all those women♡♡♡

[@alexxxdunny9133]

I went through surrogacy myself. My journey was amazing! I had cancer of a uterus. I must say that was tough period. I am just so glad that this whole ordeal is behind me. Obviously I can't carry a baby after that. My husband and I decided to go for surrogacy. Unfortunately difficulties weren’t over. We had to go abroad because of many reasons. We found a very good clinic in Ukraine. Thanks to them we have our daughter. We thought there will be some problems because of language barrier. Well communication was fantastic. I felt like they had my best interests at heart. Any issue I had was cared for in a very timely manner. And the most important is of course, we have our little girl now.

[@fionachau7875]

Hi alex your story is encouraging. Im 33 and going through ivf with 4 fails now. can i please ask the name of the ukranian clinic?

[@moniikeshneider6964]

@@fionachau7875 Thought I could be of some help. Our surrogate is in the 3rd trimester. By this time we know that the birth certificate will be issued with the names of IP. Place of birth - Kiev. It’s important to get all the needed papers right. For us there was some sort of a complication. I mean we had one letter different in our marriage certificate which could cause a trouble. Thankfully guys at BTC guide us through the whole process and helped us to cope with it. One should do all the checking beforehand not to face any of the complications later!

[@moniikeshneider6964]

Congratutaions! Just wanted to embark that depending on who you talk to, surrogacy may be perceived as a noble act in helping another family, or a controversial one with certain legal risks. In reality, they are likely talking about two different types of surrogacy. Traditional and gestational - where the egg and sperm are provided by the intended parents (or from a donor) and gestated in-vitro. This way surrogate has no genetic link to the child. Once having written the post on the ivf board - at the time we were passing treatement for our LO - I got the following reply. It sounded like: ‘hmm..you say they’ll refund you money paid if you fail..so that you moved overseas after only several tries home..I’m not bying this..It’s sh**t..’ I cannot describe what I was feeling then..Heartbroken people aren’t sensitive to infertilte people like us..

[@tarnw3301]

Exploiting poor women doesn't makes you sound as a good person.

[@georgie3411]

I'm actually disgusted by this. Pure exploitation of women.

[@thegracetalents7674]

being pregnant it's beautiful.. And raising a kid really brings joy. I wouldn't mind be helping a couple becoming parent by becoming a surrogate..

[@tarnw3301]

That's disgusting. You are changing your child for some claps, yuks.

[@Aniyahn353]

@@tarnw3301 What are you talking about ?

[@ceciliatao4317]

Just letting you know that taking eggs out from a woman’s body is extremely harmful and it could cause infertility. I’m not against surrogacy as long as people are volunteer, but it could cause potential huge damages to the egg donors’ body as well as the carrier.

[@laura9266]

@@ceciliatao4317 as well as the baby

[@mellowgellowdi]

Just a thought, if there is a woman who wants a kid but she's biologically unable to conceive, how about adopting children?

[@tsebregnis5422]

In life, it is better not imposing ones own moral code on others whose situation one does not know. If someone needs surrogacy to feel his/her life is complete, I don’t see anything wrong about it.

[@billmartins5545]

They are effectively buying a child. Child safeguarding is EVERYONE'S business. Kids shouldn't be separated from their mother like this. No one should get pregnant with the intention of not raising that child.

[@denizgursoy672]

Its weird

[@elincolnbeirg3270]

I never thought of surrogacy from this point of view. Some women are a really like the process of being pregnant, they discover something new about them as well. Surrogacy is a great choice for them! Besides, it is really generous, they make other couples so happy.

[@shelleywong5914]

Most Surrogates from poor countries and towns are not voluntary and selfless， they just seek for money or being forced by their husband and family. And thousands of babies are abandoned because they has some disease from birth.

[@laura9266]

Yeah, who cares about the child's trauma

[@kamcat2901]

@@laura9266 uh

[@AnimatedBlast]

@@shelleywong5914That happens anyway.

[@billmartins5545]

What about the child's happiness? No one should get pregnant with the intention to not raise the child herself.

[@aliehzr8674]

UNETHICAL! Child has rights before an adults wish to be parents. This is sooo WRONG!!

[@xxjulia0xx341]

no

[@victoriasviridova5136]

To my mind, surrogacy is a gift for those who cannot conceive or carry a baby. Most people accept surrogacy like "oh, poor thing, she who carries the baby" like as if a surrogate mother suffers a lot in this whole process, but I don't think so. A surrogate, in fact, becomes a very special person when giving hope for a real family with a baby to other people who cannot themselves give birth to their cildren. I think people should treat such women who become surrogates like very strong, cheerful and life-loving! Ukraine, for example, is a country where surrogacy is not prohibited and there are very many surrogate mothers who make infertile couples happy! And I am proud of that!

[@tarnw3301]

Exploiting poor woman and buying their children is human trafficking

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@@tarnw3301 its not buying their children because the surrogate mum has no genetic link to the baby its more accurate to say they are renting the womb and since its their own kid its not buying kids its renting the womb

[@kasikasivendjinn5345]

@@IgorMgtowandVideoGames It sounds fairly dangerous, is the kid gonna be healthy or crippled?

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@@kasikasivendjinn5345 probably healthy although you should ask experts on the subject

[@NT-ll5qq]

true when a surrogate mother gave birth to intended parents those couples will be forever grateful to the surrogate mother regardless they paid the surrogate mother no amount of money will repay the happiness of having a baby

[@bbyjcky1]

loved this. The surrogate is a blessing!

[@shelleywong5914]

Most Surrogates from poor countries and towns are not voluntary and selfless， they just seek for money or being forced by their husband and family. And thousands of babies are abandoned because they has some disease from birth.

[@N0p3er5]

Don't sell babies.

[@martinaricci1334]

Well, I know a little about surrogacy. But I am sure that it is a fantastic process which gives an opportunity to hopeful couples. Today there are many parents who finally received their babies via such treatment. I don’t know how surrogacy works in America but I know that today number of infertile couples undergo their surrogacy in Ukraine. Honestly, it was a big surprise that Ukraine is a surrogacy friendly place. Moreover, people say that the cost of the surrogacy process is quite affordable there. I believe that Ukraine has quite a reasonable price for such service in comparison with the US. Not surprisingly that intended parents prefer to have their surrogate babies via Ukrainian clinics.

[@aliciagwrjrnfj]

Imagine thinking surrogacy would be about vanity and not health issues preventing one from carrying? Some of those people were dumb.

[@smalltowngirl4415]

When it is done for vanity reasons, it is shameful.

[@joshuaharper4439]

I would give anything to find a surrogate mother willing to have a baby for me just don’t know if it’ll ever happen I can only wish I would love and cherish to have a son or daughter just wish life or give me a chance

[@inspirationalshanae5129]

W ha t agency are you with? I just filled out a application to become a surrogate.

[@joshuaharper4439]

@@inspirationalshanae5129 honestly I’m not with any agency I just really like to have a son or daughter

[@lunagames8133]

Wow, I thought an extra £200 a month was unreasonable

[@zyralove4540]

There’s no unreasonable price when someone is putting their body through pregnancy especially for someone else.

[@queenestre2949]

You are a talking about two life in the line there is nothing unreasonable

[@AnimatedBlast]

@@zyralove4540it’s a job with a contract.

[@mayajung7134]

My opinion about surrogacy is good and matter of fact it is the last opportunity for many childless couples to have their own baby. With the latest ART, it was never so easy to have a baby via IVF or surrogacy process. With an improved success rate of IVF, the possibility of positive pregnancy is more in surrogacy. The overall surrogacy process is costly, which includes the staggeringly high cost of the medical procedure and the other administrative costs. So, it is not possible for all couple to go through the surrogacy route. Such couples can choose other options like adoption or another place for the surrogacy process where it is cheaper for example Ukraine. By the way, this place has become really popular for the surrogacy process in recent years. There has been a lot of negative media and general outlook toward surrogacy and lack of knowledge is one of the major reasons for it. With the help of surrogacy thousand couples around the world have realized their dream of parenthood. And I believe that surrogacy and adoption have a right to exist in our world!

[@nnuurriiaaawesome159]

Twisted minds, also trying to twist poor kids mind as well.

[@JimmyCrow-fz6yf]

Yap

[@dorotadamiecka5233]

Diabolical agenda

[@raykarena4595]

It's just kinda weird....

[@notcarrot5129]

its not...

[@PeterBollen-dp8wi]

Zekers een gezinnetje op richten, in onze levensweg of pad der mensheids!!!

[@PeterBollen-dp8wi]

Greats groetjes, aan ju'ie toe vertrouwd!!!

[@PeterBollen-dp8wi]

Hallo, ja zekers een echt gezinnetje stichten samen!!

[@trancos7641]

Child trafficking. Disgusting

[@tarsicio2426]

It is disgusting to what we have come.

[@findingcraigie]

I don't understand how it's disgusting. Its an agreement that both parties agree to with benefits to both sides.

[@mariaborgesi9829]

I'm so glad that overpopulation is not a problem for y'all

[@Heyheyhaleyd]

Why are you commenting? This is a comment we don't need, it's her choice!!! If she wants a baby, it's her choice!!

[@sgtK0420]

Africans and Middle eastern people are the ones responsible for overpopulation in this world as of now.

[@TopLasagnaLover]

@@sgtK0420 Yet Asia has the highest population. you dont know what you are talking about.

[@alohaazzie8462]

@@sgtK0420 the top five countries with the largest populations are: 1. China 2. India 3. United States 4. Indonesia 5. Pakistan So, 4 Asian countries and a majority White country. What are you talking about??

[@starz4eileen]

Omg I should ask my mom if she can hire one :D

[@Endahsusi-d1s]

Go out of country, cheaper and safe too.

[@ParishArmstead1680]

I’m still confused

[@monaiannucci7831]

Why me??????? ?

[@djrn1621]

This is so wrong

[@xxjulia0xx341]

unnecessary warning sign

[@PeterBollen-dp8wi]

💜👩‍❤️‍👨💜

[@c.c.l.9139]

How selfish of that woman to purposefully bring another baby into a home without a father.

[@LoreleiSwiftnezz87]

What? She's a surrogate! She carried a couples child there embryo there DNA . She's not taking the baby home it's not her baby ...ugh

[@xxjulia0xx341]

no not ever close

[@PeterBollen-dp8wi]

❤️💜👍🌝👍💜❤️

[@a.n.n.a876]

💕💕

[@geldan1997]

I don't know how I feel on carrying a fetus “THAT'S NOT MINE”

[@kittymeeeow]

@Gunther Vincent you are a pathetic excuse for a human being.

[@IgorMgtowandVideoGames]

@Gunther Vincent its not because theres no GENETIC link

[@PeterBollen-dp8wi]

Greats groetjes Peter bollen uit Tienen Vlaams Brabant plaatst België geboren1977!!

[@billmartins5545]

Op wie reageer je?

[@cheetavontiebolt9971]

If a woman chooses to be a surrogate that is her choice freedom is the right to choose

[@billmartins5545]

What about a child's right to be raised by their mother?!

[@cheetavontiebolt9971]

@billmartins5545 who is the mother

[@stinksterrekerinski4450]

The filming looks so fake.

[@danieltik]

I'm a surrogate recruiter. Contact me if you are interested in becoming a surrogate