Retrospective and Rewrite: Laughing Jack

My first voiced KZbin video! I went off on a lot of tangents but I got there in the end. So, yeah, a rewrite / redesign of the creepypasta Laughing Jack, just cause..
Hope I've done okay for my first try.
--
Timestamps:
0:00 - Creepypasta, then and now.
0:44 - Five nights at freddy's detouR???
1:28 - Aand back to creepypasta.
1:45 - The first LJ post
3:06 - The original story
5:31 - The change
9:22 - AAAAUGH
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All my socials are under the name Elmushterri✨.

[@junew8133]

Also, omg this is such a cool idea! I adore the designs and I gotta say that a buddy cop creeoypasta with a disgruntled detective and 9 foot tall clown man sounds like a movie I'd watch

[@Elmushterri]

Thank you 😭 I’m glad you enjoyed both the designs and story, I’d so watch it too!

[@rasheikbeal9367]

​@@Elmushterri I think an ending were he have kids of his own and jack played with them would be cool

[@marrowart2347]

honestly when i heard you were making him into a detective my mind immediately jumped into a detective killer duo such as Jack coming back out, recognizing his dear old friend enjoys solving murder mysteries he'll give him those murder mysteries and it keeps the unsettling tone of a killer jack playing his own version of a game with Isaac that keeps an oppressive atmosphere and horror as how will Isaac explain these murders to the others, how will he end up catching jack to put him back in the box hopefully for good? Would others believe him it was a creature from a box that an angel gifted him? likely not. I just think itd lend itself quite well to a webcomic in that way

[@n0nn361]

I think if I would remake this, I would go more by the fact that, if I remember well, Jack was sent by an angel. Maybe the fact that he was locked in a box for so long corrupted him. His purpose is gone, and so is his "soul". Idk where to move from here though

[@fangirl-fanatic1186]

I really like the concept, it reminds me of this web series that has a somewhat similar story called, 'Silly Tilly murder mystery'.

[@Elmushterri]

Thank you so much! I’ve not actually seen that web series

[@anrisaika1180]

can u send me a link ?

[@walmartbrandgucci7214]

This was my first ever creepypasta I was exposed to and seeing it rebooted in such a good way and making it make more sense than the original just warms my heart, aaaaaa this is so good!!

[@junew8133]

Yessss, the perfect video to watch while drawing >:)

[@Elmushterri]

I’m honoured to become a person to draw to!

[@arlohofilena4415]

Hello! I really love this creepypasta rewrite! It’s creative and I like the idea of a horror story where the monster is on the good side! If it’s okay, mind if I use this version of Laughing Jack in a creepypasta-based series I’m writing called WISP? It’s sort of like the SCP Foundation but with updated/redone versions of creepypasta characters and monsters. I promise to credit you for this idea and I’ll try to add some of my own spins to not make it like I’m fully ripping it off. I just love this idea so much Thankyou.

[@Elmushterri]

Of course! Go ahead, I’d love to see it ✨👍 I’m honoured that you liked my idea enough to do this!

[@arlohofilena4415]

@@Elmushterri Thankyou so much! I’ll get to incorporating this version of Laughing Jack as soon as I can! I’ll let you know on the progress of it, and when the story is done! I’m hoping to get the first 3 chapters (which would be an whole story arc) done soon. Thankyou and take care!

[@llamaish5507]

Ooo this sounds interesting! Is there a place you’re posting this story?

[@arlohofilena4415]

@@llamaish5507 AO3. I’ll post it after working on the chapters I intend for it. I’ll probably post it in a week or two, if that’s alright. I’m happy to see you’re interested in it!

[@llamaish5507]

@@arlohofilena4415 Epic!! May I ask what your Ao3 account is called so I can find the story when it’s posted?

[@beanerjeffreys9667]

I used to be scared of unreal stuff but as I get older I'm less scared Like if I were to imagine some big creepy monster in the woods I would be like "oh sweet now I can have a giant monster friend" but if i think of some weirdo in the woods I'm like "oh well that just sucks"

[@Rat_InUr_Floorboards]

I feel like clown dude would have claustrophobia due too 13 years in an enclosed box, ya know?

[@SilentIncognito]

I absolutely LOOOOOVED laughing jack as a kid. Kept drawing him and had fantasies of him lol. This brought nostalgia for me xD

[@AriiJay42]

This is such a cool concept for these two! You're a really great story writer. I was wondering if i can make fan art of these two? Full credit goes to you of course.

[@Elmushterri]

Oh my Gosh! Yes, of course you can! You never have to ask to make fanart, I’m honoured. Thank you! 🧡✨

[@moffie-moff5044]

Honestly if you just changed the names you could probably treat this like it’s own story instead of a reboot (because it’s infinitely more interesting than the original and I would honestly love to see it as a comic or something)

[@bella_daze3092]

SAME 😭😭😭

[@pasdenom1799]

I dunno who you are, but I sure am *intrigued...*

[@Elmushterri]

I hope you found the video to your liking, then!

[@MelodyYue]

Maybe his colour changed to suit Isaac’s current style?

[@kishacarlos3472]

I love it! I think you really made the story better he used to be my favorite creepypasta(though I never read his story I just liked the design) along with hobo heart. Your super talented I love your art!

[@711Slushy]

Please let this be a webshow cause this sounds absolutely awesome

[@prcervi]

If you wanted to salvage the poor kid aspect of the original story you could've had it be him going off to a charity placement or sponsorship (a rare but not unheard of coincidence), or a "boarding school" where if he's lucky he's only getting shipped off to a colony rather then finding himself in a factory that won't know osha for years to come

[@ian-michaeljones8825]

Your version is less of a creepypasta and more of a heartwarmingpasta ! ☺️

[@bella_daze3092]

Even after a year, I still come back to this video and this rewrite. I love the rewrite to death 😭

[@arisu_6635]

I really love that idea! Tbh at first because it's a creepypasta i thought the story will be that Jack murders people so he can spend time and ,,play" with Isaac. But Jack just helping him is so much more whoslome. would you mind if i maybe do fanart inspired by your rewrite! i might change some stuff

[@Elmushterri]

Thank you so much, I’d be honoured, even you changed stuff! 😭🧡✨ Go right ahead, I appreciate this so much!

[@staticrainbow3384]

i love this idea, and i agree that the idea of a imaginary friend going wrong is very interesting!

[@cyanophobia-penny]

Why'd you make it so wholesome ? I love this!

[@Kittyboi.]

Laughing Jack was my favorite creepy pasta for some reason. I love this rewrite and the redesigns look so nice! Honestly I wanna read a full version of this now XD

[@bella_daze3092]

Bro if this was a show I would WATCH this if this was a show❤

[@Ace0fSpades0674]

6:56 The word your looking for is monochrome[meaning(color wise) is black and white]

[@Arlasthehourglass]

I have a silly plot twist idea and I feel like it dampens the maturity and understanding theme but like, imagine if Jack was the real murderer all along because of a child's game going wrong and he just didn't know he killed the kid.

[@Cue_suffering]

This is so good I love the idea and the art!!!! ❤❤❤

[@weirdvideos6758]

I have this memory of this part of the story where the boy makes jack kill a cat or something very brutally. I feel like that kind of set up the psychotic tendencies in the boy. And I don’t think Jack becoming this murderous clown wasn’t that far of a stretch. I mean, if you saw this dude you were like assigned to and haven’t seen in like a decade, kill person after person, turning them into like furniture and shit and like not being able to do anything about it I feel like I would eventually snap and go a little crazy as well.

[@ravenlawson2851]

And it can still be wholesome in dark at the same time just not boring like it ended up being in your rewrite

[@Soggy_Speggetti]

Your art is beautiful your channel deserves more attention

[@nightmaretale2286]

I know it's been a year, but this idea is actually interesting. I like that in your version of the story jack isn't an edgy over the top murderer. I actually would like to see this as an animated story because its interesting.

[@shelbybensley3945]

I love this rewrite! It's sort of wholesome! I want this to be real!!!!!!

[@thatonestupidskittle]

AMAZING GREAT JOB

[@n0nn361]

That would be soo cool! It would be less horror but surely would make an great story

[@cumling]

BRO YOUR VERSION IS SO CUTE

[@Elmushterri]

I APPRECIATE THAT SO MUCH 😭😭

[@moistwrmonastring1017]

Ah we read the same Reddit post about that plane! That was so good, I understand what you mean as a horror fan

[@rhondarogers7265]

If "Laughing Jack Origins" seems like a shambles that's because it makes up the rules as it goes along. For example Laughing Jack himself by the end of story. By what criterion did he grow so monsterous? What even is he? Is he a genie or a transformer? It really leaves me wondering how the creators of Tici Toby or Clockwork would of handled this character, given their ability to conjure threat out of the apparently fragile. Snuffbomb is not interested in that however. In his eyes laughing jack is just a generically evil and stock villain who's personality literally gets reduced to brushiness by the end of the story. laziness mingles with overkill, and all of the characters weep at the slightest provoction, but heads are tore off and people get tortured. Cult devotees probably don't care. Honestly a more fitting name would be "LACKING Jack".

[@thatonestupidskittle]

FROTHING FOAMING

[@Elmushterri]

HEHEHE THANK YOU, MAN! Glad you liked it 😭

[@SherutoWolvsein]

I would absolutely ADORE this rewrite and redesign. Sitting here at 24 currently, Laughing Jack is STILL a comfort character I fall back to! Honestly, if his story went more of a route like this, I don’t think my weird sense of guilt would hang over anytime I do anything related to LJ. (For context, I was on Tumblr and DeviantART when ALL that drama went down.) I'm just here for the goofy clown man. 👉🏻👈🏻 There was so much potential for him.

[@BonCartoonz]

i'd watch a movie or read a fanfic about this honestly :D

[@thatonestupidskittle]

WOOOO

[@Elmushterri]

WOOO after three billion years jumping through hoops to UPLOAD THIS 🗣🗣🗣🗣

[@Duhgel]

I reallly love this wah

[@RosaStars921]

Please do more classic creepypasta characters!!

[@cumling]

ID LOVE TO WATCH THIS RAGAGHHHH

[@Elmushterri]

MAN THANK YOU 😭😭😭 RAAGH I WOULD TOO

[@smiththeinspiringanimator7042]

Awesome and cool! :>

[@ParsureArts]

SUSspenders 😭 Anyways, love your designs lmao

[@musicangle850]

Boarding school where they teach you interesting ways to make furniture

[@-enbyfrogartist-6631]

How have I only now found your channel?

[@fauxhuman0]

this is a really good rewrite but its just kinda not a creepypasta anymore

[@mushtashio9902]

I love them, They are just ✨ I will be doodling them for the next week

[@smiththeinspiringanimator7042]

I love it! :D❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💜🤎🖤🤍💕💞💓💗💘💝💖🌈⭐️🌟🌌🌠🎇🎆🫂

[@phoebeanjanakoch2008]

If That would‘ve be a serie or a Movie, I would watch it. 👍

[@arlohofilena4415]

Hello, it’s me again. Pardon me for commenting this, but I love your work and I was hoping to get a reply on whether or not I can use the idea for my WISP story as I commented prior? I just love the idea and I think I can mix a few of my own for my Creepypasta-based series. I just want to ask you first fully before I get to it. Thank you and I hope to hear your reply. Sorry if I seem impatient, I’m just anxious and exited.

[@Elmushterri]

Hiya again! No worries, I was just asleep when you commented the first time 👍👍 You’re good!

[@arlohofilena4415]

@@Elmushterri Sorry for the late reply. Thank you! I'll update you on WISP as soon as I can. Trying to get it done before Halloween so hopefully it'll be done in several weeks or so! Thank you!

[@ravenlawson2851]

And take this as helpful criticism to help you out with the rest of your rewrite creepy pastas, this is just how I would post the story,🤭

[@EmiriTsukiyo]

Reminds me of Drop Dead Fred in some ways

[@blazzerrazzer3800]

You a damn villain.

[@justurStalker]

what are you talking about i didnt cry after hearing the moral dont be ridiculous! also i love your art pls notice me-

[@Elmushterri]

Noticed! I always read my comments! Also thank you that means so much to me 😭😭😭 I personally love the moral too since it hits home

[@ravenlawson2851]

The only reason Wil creepy pasta characters. Have their name begin with the letter J. It’s because it’s a very common name I don’t even know why you’re asking why their name begins with Jack. It’s really just J in the end.

[@Skull-Butterfly]

Why doesn’t this have more views?

[@Elmushterri]

Aww, 😭✨Thank you, I’m still working on them!

[@riverafundora1272]

Not bad.

[@thesmilyguyguy9799]

:D

[@ravenlawson2851]

There were a lot of things that are good about your rewrite, but I feel like you have a strange misunderstanding about how creepy pastas work I would’ve done something really different with the rewrite like I like the part that it’s in Victorian times which is really cool but instead, it should have a plot twist, some sort of dark ending that’s not too edgy and not too gory like the original how about he grows up and becomes a private detective recovers his old childhood box. Laughing Jack comes out of it, reaching out for attention for his old friend, but he quickly swipes him away, because he’s too busy with his investigations, trying to find out the mysteries and murderers that have been going around in his town , and it turns out that he was the one that was going around murdering people, and he was having blackouts because of this due to these blackouts he didn’t remember any of the crimes that he committed why he was investigating long story short. He uses, laughing Jack to help covering, clean up all of his crimes why investigates the murders that he did , that sounds way more interesting and less boring than whatever you came up with and I also like the idea of the faded colors I might keep in mind with that detail but I also don’t mind black-and-white. The only reason it’s so jarring is because it’s straight up black and white , how about gray and black-and-white will help break down some of the colors so it’s not blatant and him being pink is just so cute So that was my twist so I won’t be really boring because I feel like you’re rewrite of laughing. Jack was very boring and felt kind of shallow like it truly didn’t actually have a conclusion or ending but what I did like was that it was heart roaming and sweet and it shows how imaginary friends can go wrong 😑 but however, I did not like your rewrite that much not as much as I wanted to so here, my AU version of laughing, Jack, and what I would do for my rewrite first I would change laughing jack initials to be a lot shorter instead, he will be called LJ for short, and he is a clown that is commonly found in slender man’s forest. He is stuck inside of a rusty, old, black and white box in this box contains. Lj which pops up whenever someone discovers it so Lj is infatuated with kids that wander inside of slender man’s forest, and he be friends then whoever touches the box and slender man‘s forest, which happens to be a child he will immediately befriend them, and became their imaginary best friend. His behavior and oddities will be like the exhibiting traits of a toddler. He commonly acts like a child. Those tantrums if he doesn’t get what he wants has back-and-forth mood swings, and Moore, if it wasn’t due to the share size of him, these would be contemporary, but because you so nous, these tantrums and cries are a little bit dangerous did the individual talking to him and himself so with his main personality trait being bad of a child I think it makes him a lot more interesting rather than him still being you know, but sure like his adult counterpart that’s how I would approach laughing in my opinion and it sounds way more interesting than whatever you came up with elmushterri, no offense, but you’re rewrite is very boring and hollow.🤨👎 noted that I’ll take some inspiration though,

[@toast1262]

How the fuck is this so unpopular?

[@Elmushterri]

Oh my gosh! 😭 Thank you! I think it may just be the fact that this was sort of my first video. I hope to see more people later!

[@Littlemisspinkie]

Anyways who want some pasta? 🍝

[@TastyToez]

Jojo's adventure....

[@evietron5000]

hhh pr,,,etty clowne

[@_AmoraOscura_]

I think it's bad idea

[@ravenlawson2851]

Respectfully, there’s a lot of good things about your laughing jack rewrite but the main problem with it there’s a lot of wasted potential at the same time I feel like we filled the captivate any interesting things between laughing Jack and the human character you and me we find an interest in things like imaginary friends going wrong, but what I don’t understand is this rewrite so one thing I would change about it and I’m not saying that the actual original laughing Jack was any good because it was pretty bad It ended up really just being revenge porn So let me get that straight, but if he’s gonna be a detective, why don’t have something really interesting like what if the murders that he’s solving it turns out he’s been blocking out and he’s the one that was going around killing people the entire time he didn’t realize that he was the murderer And a quick look of bit of rage, laughing Jack finds out he hast to do one thing in one thing only he tells him to kill him. His best friend has to kill him and that’s what laughing jack ends up having to do in the end to be all alone , it’s less edgy compared to the original story but I think it makes a story way more interesting interesting and less boring than how it turned out with your rewrite. Sorry this is how I feel.

[@ravenlawson2851]

And also for it to be a really good creepy pasta, it needs to have some substance you rewrite is very lackluster and I think that’s the problem. There’s no interesting twist to engage the reader. It’s just an epilogue of his entire childhood with laughing Jack. They’re good things and there’s also one thing that it’s problem you missed the point of the whole imaginary friend goes terribly wrong plot. I think the twist would’ve ended up being something like maybe he finds out that he is the serial killer in the end of the detective so he uses laughing Jack to help cover up his tracks was still investigating, see that’s interesting and it didn’t end being boring. This would not turn out to be a very good horror movie if you ask me.

[@Goldie22]

Idk I thought it was gonna be more scary,kinda disappointed

[@Elmushterri]

Ahh, that wasn’t the goal I had going into the rewrite but I’m sorry either way :( 👍👍

[@m0ldyclown]

out of plain curiosity, how would you imagine him in a scarier version ?

[@Quailbbu]

If creepypastas weren't bad when you were young you're still young and shouldn't be on KZbin. Unless you're older