Elon Gold: Why The Jews Are Better Off Without Xmas Trees

[@nadav9926]

I watch a lot of stand up. Chapelle, Chris rock, robin williams, etc. This is seriously one of the best bits I’ve ever heard. Absolutely brilliant.

[@Whogirl42]

Every so often I remember the existence of this vid and rewatch it. Never fails to crack me up! YES WE ARE LIKE THIS IT IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS AND IT IS GLORIOUS

[@tmims2]

It’s so glorious!!

[@thevaeringi]

Words cannot express how on point this is 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@debbygoldstein7182]

Fabulous! I laughed and laughed. He explains it all - wonderful. I hope we hear more.

[@dovidell]

The genius of Jewish humour !!

[@dovidell]

@Kevin Mard Jewish humour can be cynical , and oy va voy are we a cynical lot !!

[@Nonojakubo]

I am french speaking, religious and laughed so much!!!! And he forgot (in Israel) the year of the shemita every 7 years.....where they wouldn't be able to cut any trees at all!! :-)

[@davidwright1011]

Ah, but is the rule the same IN the holy land versus in the diaspora?

[@VictorLepanto]

@@davidwright1011 You'd have to sell the patch of ground where the tree grows to a gentile for that year, then you can have the gentile cut the tree down for you. This rule applies if the tree grows in Israel or if the tree grows in Brooklyn.

[@savethetpc1547]

@@VictorLepanto LOL!

[@marG520]

This year is sabbatical

[@jennifergersch9126]

See my comment below. Do we then have to get our pine trees from Morocco?

[@אשרלוגסימשכנתאפלוס]

100% true- it would be just like that. there will be few opinions on how/when/why to handle this tree -Ashkenazim VS Sfaradic, Rashi VS others, Rambam and reformim - It would be impossible! LOL great video

[@jennifergersch9126]

Rabbeinu Tam!

[@NickyRikki]

this is so on point its hilarious.

[@slowmopoke]

Dame Pesos 53K subscribers

[@Lubz_0]

I thought only Muslims did this! It's beautiful to see similarities between religions. ☮️

[@davidwright1011]

I know - some clever Muslim needs to make the Islamic version!

[@innesfrey9602]

Absolutely fantastic love it 😂❤🎉👍🙏

[@VictorLepanto]

Don't forget the most important point, how much of the package has to be under the tree to qualify as being under the tree? If the package has ribbon on it, would only the ribbon being under the tree qualify as being under the tree?

[@jennifergersch9126]

@elongold Does it have to be a minimum height? If any branches are already cut off, is it still kosher?

[@pelmam]

That's precious! And so accurate LOL

[@rhodazeffertt3570]

SO TRUE!! HILARIOUS

[@OtisFan1]

Can't believe I lived without this for 3 1/2 years. Brilliant! Almost 98,000 views. Let's help this reach 100,000. b'li neder.

[@ejb7969]

1 year later, 149K views, up 50% in a year. Better than the stock market!

[@OtisFan1]

@@ejb7969 This evening, at the end of the Yiddish class I teach, one of the students was telling everyone that they MUST watch this video. Then I ended our Zoom meeting and went to check my email. Lo and behold, there was the notification from KZbin about your reply to my post from a year ago. I had completely forgotten this gem. But this is too much of a coincidence. ejb, are you one of the people in our class?

[@ejb7969]

@@OtisFan1 Alas, no. Just a coincidence! But earlier today, my Rabbi told ME in our weekly one-on-one study session that I must watch this video! So, another coincidence!

[@OtisFan1]

@@ejb7969 If you haven't seen them, the YidLife Crisis bokherim have done at least 2 very funny episodes about Xmas. One is Season 2Ep2. The other is "The YidLife Crisis Guide to the Holiday Classics" --Enjoy.

[@God_of_Kiwi]

great skit, wish he had more videos!!!

[@savtamarlene]

He does…and they’re all hilarious!

[@muirakitan]

Very funny 🤣

[@brenniewinters1880]

Laughed but was asked to decorate a tree at work. Hummm. Is it going to be real or not?

[@littlegiant1972]

OMG....so true.

[@Tigerman1138]

The sap is so important.

[@jennifergersch9126]

You forgot Shehecheyanu!

[@Maurice-Navel]

LOVE it!

[@eyesonyou99]

Add this to the Adam Sandler Chanukah song set and voila! A whole lot of good belly laughs!!

[@jennifergersch9126]

What about a Shmitah Year? Do we get all trees from Morocco?

[@MissJoy16]

This is SO true! Lol!

[@cynhwon]

I can totally imagine that LMAO

[@stallar1]

I’m dying here! 😂😂😂

[@birgittavanblitterswijk6998]

Brilliant.

[@yaaraamozig4862]

😂😂😂

[@Francois176]

God damn, being an observant practicing jew must be exhausting. Thank god I don't believe in god.

[@AdaraBalabusta]

It is. ✡️❤️

[@TheDanLevy]

This is so very, very good

[@johnfoltz8183]

0:11: Oy vey! Some will kvetch that the Christmas tree is too schlocky to set up after one schlepped it home with schmutz still on it.

[@nurkkr]

that's the most Jewish thing i have even seen.

[@kaycee2745]

Oh, I laughed. Enjoyed!

[@jonahs92]

Lmfao, this is great.

[@eviago4010]

האמת שבחג שבועות, נהגו מאות שנים אם לא אלפי, לשים עצים וצמחים בבתי כנסת ובבתים, וגם היום אבל פחות. המנהג הופסק בגלל עצי חג המולד...

[@MissJoy16]

Wow, really?

[@Imitorar]

No. It's because Christians had the custom to decorate the churches for Pentecost, which is roughly the same time as Shavuos. Some communities still do decorate with branches, and flower arrangements are common, but Eastern European descended communities don't use branches anymore.

[@AdaraBalabusta]

How interesting. That wasn’t covered in my conversion class but is good to know. ❤

[@abolishgender3240]

Hillel is less strict than Shamai.

[@ejb7969]

Mostly. See tractate Eduyot for the exceptions.

[@abolishgender3240]

@@ejb7969 yeah, i agree, but it is most likely to be Hillel if it's less strict

[@abolishgender3240]

@@ejb7969 like, sometimes it's the opposite, but Hillel was usually more on the human side and Shamai on the Textual side iykwim

[@ejb7969]

@@abolishgender3240 I do, and of course you're entirely correct. To be honest, I was showing off a little by passing on something I learned about only recently but found very interesting - Hillel being stricter than Shammai, who'd'a thought it?

[@abolishgender3240]

@@ejb7969 Shamai looking at where Hillel goes with that: ahhh, how the turntables... Muwahahah

[@eviago4010]

🕎🤟🙂🤣 גדול! U damn right man. We prefer hanukkah! More simple, and ancient.

[@ChaseRoycroft]

LOL

[@sungate29]

Hilarious

[@deenah799]

But how tall must the tree be? How many Amos tall does the tree have to be for you to be yotze?

[@bonnieaustin5812]

Nor can it come from more than 2000 cubits away. And the blessing must be said before it becomes lavud with the stand.

[@jennifergersch9126]

Yes!!!!!! I was thinking of Sukkahs, too.

[@jennifergersch9126]

Do we have to have to finish turning on the lights before hatzot?

[@explore.365]

😂

[@cynthiasoroka1838]

HEY! Don't forget the OLD Socks you have to FILL with Candy & Excepted to EAT IT!

[@jennifergersch9126]

You must eat it before hatzot. Then say Bracha Achrona.

[@jennifergersch9126]

And the amount you eat must be a kazayit.

[@miriamgonczarska613]

😄

[@demetriaroyals1129]

Yep.

[@Happy_HIbiscus]

🤣😂🤣😂

[@paskatefan]

OMG! This is hilarious!

[@primalmachine7945]

got me so hard

[@littlegiant1972]

Happy 🕎 Hanukkah from Florida. 🐢🐬🐟🐠🐚🐊

[@MrCunty79]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Goreface69]

omg i died

[@hiker_explorer6989]

ROFLMTO!!!😂😂😂👍👍

[@berliannahaz423]

Isaiah 60:13 (JPOT) The glory of Lebanon shall come unto thee, the cypress, the plane-tree and the larch together; to beautify the place of My sanctuary, and I will make the place of My feet glorious. _Hosea 14:8 (JPOT) Ephraim shall say: 'What have I to do any more with idols?' As for Me, I respond and look on him; I am like a leafy cypress-tree; from Me is thy fruit found. _Jeremiah 10:3-5 (JPOT) 3 For the customs of the peoples are vanity; for it is but a tree which one cutteth out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman with the axe. 4 They deck it with silver and with gold, they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. 5 They are like a pillar in a garden of cucumbers, and speak not; they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them, for they cannot do evil, neither is it in them to do good.

[@berliannahaz423]

Nothing wrong with Tree as a decoration. But not okay as an Idol.

[@savtamarlene]

@@berliannahaz423They got the idea of a tree from the early german people who used to worship trees…from the Black Forest.

[@AdaraBalabusta]

@@savtamarleneCorrect. ✡️❤️

[@rivkaindig552]

Lehavdil

[@badPirateMonkey]

oy effing vey (;

[@deronicon]

10/10 for chasidich sarcasm, 1/10 for funny

[@alexanderhersh1974]

The burning of the Holy Olive Oil or Candles in the eight cups on the eight-branched Sacred Chanukah Menorah has far greater religious import and significance for us as Israelites, Judeans or Jews than the beautifully decorated Christmas Tree rooted in its pagan origin !

[@samuelorozco7735]

So the king said, “Who is in the court?” Now Haman had just entered the outer court of the king’s palace to ask the king about [a]hanging Mordecai on the gallows which he had prepared for him. 5 The king’s servants said to him, “Look, Haman is standing in the court.” And the king said, “Let him come in.” 6 So Haman came in and the king said to him, “What is to be done for the man whom the king desires to honor?” Now Haman thought [b]to himself, “Whom would the king desire to honor more than me?” 7 So Haman said to the king, “For the man whom the king desires to honor, 8 let a royal robe be brought which the king has worn, and the horse on which the king has ridden, and on whose head a royal crown has been placed; 9 and let the robe and the horse be handed over to one of the king’s most noble officials. Let him dress the man whom the king delights to honor [in the royal robe] and lead him on horseback through the open square of the city, and proclaim before him, ‘This is what shall be done for the man whom the king desires to honor.’” Esther 6:4-9 “I will pour out on the house of David and on the people of Jerusalem, the Spirit of grace (unmerited favor) and supplication. And they will look at Me whom they have pierced; and they will mourn for Him as one mourns for an only son, and they will weep bitterly over Him as one who weeps bitterly over a firstborn. Zechariah 12:10 So the other disciples kept telling him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the marks of the nails, and put my finger into the nail prints, and put my hand into His side, I will never believe.” John 20:25 אז אמר המלך: מי בחצר? עתה נכנס המן לחצר החיצונית של ארמון המלך לשאול את המלך על תליית מרדכי על הגרדום שהכין לו. 5 אמרו לו עבדי המלך: "ראה המן עומד בחצר." ויאמר המלך: יבוא. 6 ויבא המן ויאמר לו המלך: מה לעשות לאיש אשר המלך חפץ לכבדו? עתה חשב המן לעצמו: "את מי ירצה המלך לכבד יותר ממני?" 7 ויאמר המן אל המלך: "למען האיש אשר המלך חפץ לכבדו, 8 יובא חלוק מלכות אשר לבש המלך ואת הסוס אשר רכב עליו המלך ועל ראשו כתר מלכותי. הונח; 9 וימסרו את הגלימה והסוס לאחד הפקידים האצילים ביותר של המלך. ילביש את האיש שהמלך חפץ לכבדו [בגלימה המלכותית] ויוביל אותו רכוב על סוס בכיכר הפתוחה של העיר, ויכריז לפניו 'זה מה שיעשה לאיש שהמלך חפץ בו. כָּבוֹד.'" אסתר ו' ד'-ט' "אני אשפוך על בית דוד ועל בני ירושלים את רוח החסד (חסד ללא ערך) ותחינה. וַיִּבְטוּ אֵלַי אֲשֶׁר נָקְבוּ; ויבכו עליו כמתאבל על בן יחיד, ויבכו עליו מרה כמי שמבכה על בכור. זכריה יב:10 אז שאר התלמידים אמרו לו, "ראינו את ה'!" אבל אמר להם: אם לא אראה בידיו את סימני הציפורניים ואכניס את אצבעי בטביעות הציפורניים, ואכניס את ידי בצידו, לעולם לא אאמין. יוחנן 20:25

[@kaycee2745]

Relax Samuel. I know torah. But have a little humor. It is not against Torah. shalom

[@AdaraBalabusta]

Quit trying to turn Jewish people into worshipers of your false deity. If your mom is Gentile, obey the Noahide laws. 🕊✡️❤️

[@joans2002]

I really enjoyed this because he cleverly exposes human foibles, which is what makes someone a true comedian. It’s healthy to be able to laugh at ourselves. However, I cringe at how some of you who place Judaism and Islam into the same category, which is painfully true regarding “rabbinical Judaism” and also Islam in terms of following the shifting traditions of men. This is religion, not faith. Faith gives God all of the credit and glory. The only work we flawed, fallen people can “do” to be acceptable with God is to humbly trust in and receive His gracious gift of forgiveness and transferred righteousness. Genesis 15, especially v. 6 shows that faith in God is how He applies His righteousness to a person such as Abraham. " Then he believed in the Lord; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness." No man-made traditions, which change and contain confusion, can save a soul. Romans 4:2 “For if Abraham was justified by works, he has something to boast about, but not before God. 3 For what does the Scripture say? ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.’ “ Isaiah comments in 28:11-13 “Indeed, He will speak to this people through stammering lips and a foreign tongue, 12 He who said to them, ‘Here is rest, give rest to the weary,’ and, ‘Here is repose,’ but they would not listen. 13 So the word of the Lord to them will be, ‘Order on order, order on order, line on line, line on line, a little here, a little there,’ that they may go and stumble backward, be broken, snared and taken captive.” I am so thankful that the Hebrew and New Scriptures both promise that someday Israel as a nation will believe her Tanakh prophets and trust in God by faith, and many more gentiles will also, as one people in God’s family.

[@michaelk3848]

the entire concept of a Virgin birth of a union between a god and a woman is all over Greek mythology. It in fact is the antithesis of anything Jewish. When early Christianity wanted to sell their belief to the Greco-Roman world, their story wouldn’t fly if Jesus wasn’t divine. At least a low level god. After all Romulus (founder of Rome was born of a union between a virgin and a god. FYI his birthday was none other than December 25th. Pythagorus was also conceived this way. Several hundred years before Jesus, Adonis was born of a virgin birth to Myrrha in Bethlehem. Horrus the Egyptian god was also born through a virgin birth to Isis. I can go on and on. The entire Jesus story is a fabrication. Other than edited texts, nothing in Christianity fits with Judaism. Belief in a triune god head is absolute idolatry. In this essential way, Islam is much closer to Judaism than Christianity. The most central tenant of Judaism is the belief in one G-D. It’s irrelevant if there are other similarities. All these people throwing Hebrew words around are just trying to trick Jews who are less educated. Isaiah Chapter 11 clearly states that the Messiah will FEAR G-D that is his main trait. G-D doesn’t fear himself. The Mosiach doesn’t walk on water or do magic acts. His main job is to bring people to G-D and his Torah. It’s time to abandon Christianity and it’s pagan roots. Say no to the trinity which was a result of a vote at the Council of Nicaea in 325CE. It’s a stain on the Church for which it can never recover. It’s blasphemy to think humans can vote on the nature of G-D. Repent and follow the ONE true G-D of Abraham Issac and Jacob. Devorim 4:35 It has been clearly demonstrated to you that the LORD alone is God; there is none beside Him.

[@MissJoy16]

​@@michaelk3848תודה רבה

[@AdaraBalabusta]

Peddle your idol-worship elsewhere. Better yet, abandon your false deity and obey the seven Noahide laws. 🕊✡️❤️

[@AdaraBalabusta]

@@michaelk3848✡️❤️

[@shlomifeig6843]

He’s should just learn Talmud instead of comedy.

[@billyhw5492]

He appears to be very well versed in the Talmud.

[@alexanderhersh1974]

Elon Gold appears to be well versed in both Torah and Talmud.

[@Bmybuddy69]

I have a Jewish comic friend in L.A who is good friends with Alon. He tells me Alon is modern orthodox and knows Torah quite well, as evidenced here.

[@TheDanLevy]

@@Bmybuddy69 that's great for Alon, whoever he is. But how about Elon? Why is this Alon guy even relevant?

[@jennifergersch9126]

SAR and Ramaz will do that for you. #sar #ramaz

[@sean4229]

Jesus do not celebrate christmas

[@davidwright1011]

Well, he did get some present, albeit a few days late (all wise men from the east buy at post-Xmas sales).

[@michaelk3848]

When Christianity adopted Rome (not the other way around) in the year 325, the most celebrated holiday was Saturnalia on December 25th. Celebrated the rebirth of the sun. Hence the evergreen trees never die in the winter. The religion not only changed the holidays to attract the most people they paganized it by voting on the nature of god and created the trinity at the council of Nicaea.

[@alexanderhersh1974]

@@michaelk3848 So the Council of Nicaea convened in the year 325 of the 4th Century Anno Domini or Common Era. You are correct when you stated that Christmas Day, which celebrates the 'Birth of the Son' on December 25th, three or four days after the shortest day in the Northern Hemisphere, was originally the pagan Roman Feast or Festival of the Saturnalia on December 25th, which celebrated the 'Return of the Sun', as it were, in the Northern Hemisphere. That was before the advent of Judeo-Christianity from Yeshua's Twelve Disciples and the Apostle Sha'ul or Saul / Paul of Tarsus throughout the Roman Empire when early 1st Century to late 3rd Century CE or AD Christianity was still rooted in Judaism. The New Faith of Judeo-Christianity was later severed from its Judaic roots, which became known as Christianity and paganized throughout the Roman Empire as decreed by the anti-Semitic Roman Emperor Constantine I in the early 4th Century CE or AD.

[@alexanderhersh1974]

@@davidwright1011 Yeshua was born to Yosef and Miriam in September or October according to the Hebrew / Jewish Calendar around the time of Chag ha Succoth or Festival of Tabernacles, not on December 25th on the former pagan Roman Feast or Festival of the Saturnalia. The New Testament narrative of the Four Synoptic Gospels of Mattyah or Matthew, Mark, Luke and Yohanan or John state that Yeshua was presented with the gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh after his birth in the town of Beit Lechem (House of Bread) in Judea in 04 BCE.

[@davidwright1011]

@@alexanderhersh1974 Sukkot is a good time for presents, so that checks out. ;~)

[@samuelorozco7735]

But He said, “Woe to you lawyers as well, because you weigh men down with burdens [man-made rules, unreasonable requirements] which are hard to bear, and you yourselves will not even touch the burdens with one of your fingers [to lighten the load]. Luke 11:46 John’s Questions 11 When Jesus had finished giving instructions to His twelve disciples, He went on from there to teach and to preach in their [Galilean] cities. 2 Now when [a]John [the Baptist] in prison heard about the activities of Christ, he sent word by his disciples 3 and asked Him, “Are You the Expected One (the Messiah), or should we look for someone else [who will be the promised One]?” 4 Jesus answered, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: 5 the blind receive [their] sight and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed [by healing] and the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have the gospel preached to them. 6 And blessed [joyful, favored by God] is he who does not take offense at Me [accepting Me as the Messiah and trusting confidently in My message of salvation].” Matthew 11 “A battered reed He will not break, And a smoldering wick He will not extinguish, Until He leads justice to victory. Matthew 12:20 אבל הוא אמר, "אוי גם לכם עורכי הדין, כי אתם מכבידים על אנשים עם משאות [כללים מעשה ידי אדם, דרישות בלתי סבירות] שקשה לשאת, ואתם בעצמכם אפילו לא תיגעו במשאות באחת מאצבעותיכם להקל את העומס]. לוקס 11:46 השאלות של ג'ון 11 כאשר סיים ישוע לתת הוראות לשנים עשר תלמידיו, הוא המשיך משם ללמד ולהטיף בעריהם [הגליליות]. 2 כעת כאשר [א]יוחנן [המטביל] בכלא שמע על פעילותו של המשיח, הוא שלח הודעה על ידי תלמידיו 3 ושאל אותו, "האם אתה המצופה (המשיח), או שעלינו לחפש מישהו אחר [ מי יהיה המובטח]?” 4 ישוע ענה: "לך ודווח ליוחנן מה אתה שומע ורואה: 5 העיוורים מקבלים את ראייתם והצולעים הולכים, המצורעים מתנקים [בריפוי] והחירשים שומעים, המתים קמים ועניים. להטיף להם את הבשורה. 6 וברוך [שמח, מועדף על ידי אלוהים] הוא אשר אינו פוגע בי [מקבל אותי כמשיח ובטוח במסר הישועה שלי]". מתיו 11 "אגמון חבוט הוא לא ישבור, ופתיל עשן לא יכבה, עד שהוא יוביל את הצדק לניצחון. מתי 12:20

[@AdaraBalabusta]

Repent of worshiping Jesus as a deity. Jesus wasn’t even a messiah because he taught contrary to Torah on dozens of occasions. If your mom is Gentile, obey the Noahide laws. 🕊✡️❤️

[@patc6146]

because they refuse to acknowledge the birth of their king

[@craiggallup5706]

Christmas trees are pagan anyway. Just because you believe what you believe about JC doesn't make it OK for you to show disrespect to most people in the world that don't.

[@AdaraBalabusta]

Worshipping Jesus as a deity = worshiping an idol If your mom is Gentile, obey the seven Noahide laws. 🕊✡️❤️

[@ranondo92]

Boring

[@nicoladownes9907]

😂