Emotional FIRST REACTION to Ren x Chinchilla - How to Be Me

[@littleraven133]

For me, this accurately expresses what i went through after what i thought was a psychotic break. It was a massive Autistic meltdown. And i was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism, as a 52 year old woman. It basically felt like my entire life was a lie. Like I'd fooled everyone. Including myself. And i literally did not know how to be me. After 50 years of pretending to be what other people expected me to be, who the heck was i? A lot of cathartic crying through this track. The Renegades say that he comes into our lives exactly when we need him. And i have yet to see that be untrue. He has been a lifeline for a lot of people. And he helps us connect with others like us. People who have also gone through stuff that not everybody understands. A rising tide lifts all ships is true. Even if it's just a little bit, his music lifts us up. Okay okay... enough if that. Happy belated birthday. I see it was a good one. I'm glad you've joined us and can not wait to hear some Chinchilla. Also... The Big Push. It's Alright, What Kind of Woman is This, and Bongo Bong, would be some of my choices.

[@ReactADHD]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s powerful to hear how music can resonate during such significant moments in life. Remember, discovering your true self is a journey, and you’re definitely not alone in this!

[@bobsmith613]

I have watched licensed psychiatrists react to Ren's songs; yet you catch SO MUCH more of the depth than all of them combined! You don't just observe and analyze his work.... You resonate and expound upon the story he tells. I know how challenging it is to get through some of these songs because they are just too close to home sometimes. But I greatly appreciate how much you feel his words. YOU, sir, are a TRUE RENagade; through and through.

[@ReactADHD]

Thanks so much 🙏🏻 I guess there's some REN in me which makes things natural and easier to be receptive to. I try not to over analyse, just say what I think and feel , appreciate the kind words

[@iamsquatty]

This is my favorite ren and chinny song. I resonate with it so deeply, and its so hauntingly beautiful 🥹💜

[@ThereWasATime]

I think it's time for a happier one next time. You should pick "Back on 74 / Message in a bottle - retake". It will bring back the love. Thanks for your reactions, I really enjoy them!

[@ReactADHD]

Great suggestion! I will check it out!

[@Dstinii]

@@ReactADHD It's a FANTASTIC suggestion. It's totally different from what you've seen before. Ren always has a way of surprising us!

[@kenfreedman1357]

Ooh. Check out chinchilla’s live performance of “Fingers” and the official music video of “Little Girl Gone”. Oof!

[@Lemonbees]

I would add a double for Little girl gone with the requiem version... stunning .

[@nicolefagala3270]

Seriously!!!!

[@diadojikiko]

Second, third, and forth recommendation for both these songs by Chinchilla.

[@AMYWHITE-gt7be]

I don’t have any words right now, because Ren just posted how bad his relapse has gotten. And I’m just sad. Thank you for your love for his music.

[@HistoryPanoptic]

I was LIKE number 420!!!! #RENegades Chinchilla 1:5 is one of my most fav songs of all not just of hers!

[@Jadedxx]

When Chinchilla sings powerful songs (whether sad or strong) I ALWAYS get chills. I've seen people react to this song 1000xs and still chills!

[@amypridgen6083]

I feel this song so deep, not only because I suffer from bipolar disorder, but I lost my 39 yr old husband and best friend in a horrific motorcycle accident that happened right in front of me, my oldest son and his best friend 5 years ago. Our 12 yr old son was inside, but heard me let out, as he says, the most bone chilling scream he's ever heard. Shortly after, he attempted suicide by taking my medication. Luckily he didn't succeed, but had 2 more attempts after that. I put him in a inpatient mental facility for 30 days. My oldest 2 son and daughter both now take antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. My daughter started drinking daily and was almost killed driving home from a party. She was 23 at the time. Luckily she found out she was pregnant a couple months later. My beautiful 18 month old granddaughter saved her life, because she quit drinking and that baby is her world. I tried to end my life when I was married to my first husband who was addicted to crack and severely abusive, but I think God knew those 2 kids needed me too much. He went to prison, and I divorced him and met my 2nd husband about a year later. The kids were 8 and 5, so he was thier Dad. They do not have a relationship with thier biological father at all. We have each other now, and we're doing ok...but songs like this get me in my feels! You're awesome btw. Great accent!

[@krikat3485]

Just saw an older video of Ren rehearsing this song on his own. He was in tears when he got the last verse, about his friend,Joe’s death. He put his guitar down in order to calm himself. I think he may have done this one with Chinchilla, in order to get through it.

[@krystalIvy1996]

We're all so very glad you took that leap of faith with your channel and get to see your reactions and get to know you as a person! So thank you Ollie! This really is a powerful song. They really know how to show emotion and make you feel it too. I suggest back on 74/message in a bottle retake, to break up the emotional/heavy stuff! 😊

[@ReactADHD]

Thank you so much!! I will take a look for sure! I appreciate your support

[@Ladybassguitarplayer]

A great Chinchilla song to check out is Little Girl Gone. It's fantastic!

[@ReactADHD]

I will get there!

[@Lemonbees]

​@ReactADHD if you are up for it do a double and include her requiem version... it's stunning and very different from the official video.

[@whatsername123]

Jazzy, bluesy, reggae. The dude hits them all in various songs.

[@ReactADHD]

absolutely!

[@kracine9582]

Chinchillas "Finger" Live for Hunger TV is astounding. Please react to this one for sure!

[@ReactADHD]

Thank you!

[@NZWozza]

Seconded

[@lanaschaf]

And for some empowerment: Bounce Back ❤

[@littleraven133]

​@@lanaschafYes! Yes! Yes! I don't think that song gets enough love.

[@nubien9]

IMHO "the fear baptize me" means he was immersed & submerged by fear as opposed to christen which is just a sprinkling 😎❤️💛💚🖤✊🏿🇯🇲🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[@maddmd9171]

Chinchilla 'fingers' live is amazing. Little girl gone official video or live are brilliant

[@edlloyd6350]

Im so glad you took that leap of faith Ollie. Seeing people who have been through these struggles relate to Rens music lifts us all, peels a layer of being unseen from our souls. ❤

[@Adalinedaydreams]

This one gets me in the feels every time. Always tears. Always. Such beauty woven into such pain. Masterpiece.

[@weederfish9254]

Check out troubles for more insight to rens hurdles

[@ReactADHD]

will do!

[@ZephyrsLoki]

Yes please!! Do the video one first to be able to read Ren's messages in it, then do the acoustic. Both are amazing!!

[@CactuSoul]

​@@ReactADHDif you have enough time you may want to check out the chapters Ren has put on @renmakesstuff channel before listening to the song.

[@jorice5528]

This one absolutely punches me 💔 every single time - they are just phenomenal together. Beautiful reaction xxx

[@lorihutcheon5363]

First and foremost lifting heartfelt prayers and love for Ren🙏🏻💛 The beautiful chemistry between these two is undeniable❣️ Simply gorgeous 💫

[@ReactADHD]

Well said!

[@kevingallant8073]

So, this is your intro to Joe. Joe was one of Ren's best friends. Joe was always the life of the party. He hit some money troubles and made a few offhand remarks to Ren, jokingly, and Ren thought nothing of it. A short while later, he was woken by a friend calling in the middle of the night telling him that Joe was on a bridge, and Ren was the closest to him. Ren got dressed and ran to the bridge calling Joe on the phone as he ran. The phone started ringing, but as he got closer, it went out of service. He made it to the bridge only a few minutes later. Joe's body was never recovered. He wrote Freckled Angels as a sort of eulogy. Years later he wrote this song, followed by Suic*de and For Joe. If you want more of the story, Ren pinned comments about his story with Joe in the video. Worth a read. Shortly after Joe passed, he lost another friend in an accident. Callum Mackay... he recently released "MacKay" as tribute to him. Its an instrumental. So yeah, this was the "easy" one of the three. Suic*de is the hardest, and For Joe isn't far off, but includes perspective on life after his loss, so there is some positivity to it. Hopefully that helps interperet this song and know whats coming in later songs.

[@piplevett4783]

Thanks for this reaction. I truely believe that Ren is 'the voice of human experience'. Looking forward to your next lot. I have 2 recommendations for you: 1. In your own time watch his Chapters 1-8 - They are on his Ren Makes Stuff channel. They cover his journey really well and gets you really 'knowing' our boi 2. React to Love Music parts 1-4, they are upbeat, happy and super fun.

[@ReactADHD]

Thanks for your insightful comment! Ren truly has a unique way of connecting with his audience. I’ll definitely check out your recommendations!

[@1sizefitzall-bf8yf]

Thank you as always for your reaction. Ren often talks about 'the hive', and the RENegades have fully resonated with that ethos. This is evident with our support of many reactors, and to witness you embrace the man and his artistry is a beautiful thing. With you all the way on your journey. Definitely worth checking out more CHINCHILLA. Daisy Burtenshaw (CHINCHILLA) is from London, and her and Ren refer to themselves as musical siblings. Please also check them out busking, sexual healing. Love and peace ☮

[@patriciamatus4619]

Chinchilla; check out "1:5", Fingers (live for Hunger TV), and her performance on Britain's got Talent.

[@Kelley_cant_Get_Right]

I absolutely love ur reactions! Pure, raw, emotion infusing,, u just experience the music not just listen & it's beautiful

[@RhondaTomassi]

Love this song, tonight it put a lump in my throat. I'm thinking of Ren and am so concerned. He put a message up on his page and I wrote him a message because I wanted him to know we're all thinking of him and praying for him. Thank you for another great reaction.

[@charleenk71]

There are differing opinions as to what the song is about. My take is that it’s about grief, more specifically the grief Ren went through after his best friend’s suicide. The end is specifically about his best friend, Joe. It is beautifully haunting

[@ReactADHD]

Thats the sign of true art!

[@whatsername123]

Agreed.

[@MehetabelsShadow]

I agree, yet the sentiments work for any major change. A life changing diagnosis of terminal disease, a divorce, or any shock or loss that can temporarily make one forget how to be. In those instances, we have trouble knowing who we are or will be going forward. No doubt Ren gets us thinking and feeling.

[@denalinde]

I saw an interview not too long ago that he did a while back. He said the beginning is about himself, how he felt basically waiting to die. The end is definitely Joe.

[@frankoconnor806]

I agree with what you’re saying and I’m seeing this art helping so many with their own losses and grief throughout their own journeys. Peace and love from Australia ❤

[@jamiereid7428]

I actually hadn’t heard this yet. What a powerful song. 😢❤

[@ReactADHD]

Totally 🙏🏻

[@themart7767]

My favourite chinchilla song. Little girl gone. Worth a listen

[@ReactADHD]

ill get to it :)

[@Sdt526]

Thanks for reacting to this one. It’s taken me many listens to not be in floods of tears with it, and still depends on mood, time of day, whatever 😬

[@ReactADHD]

I get that one!

[@vickyknight4461]

Oh Ollie, this song hits so hard. Ren and Chinchilla are an extraordinary combination. It’s a tough song to react to. This moved me more than normal as I can’t help feeling really concerned and upset about how unwell Ren is feeling at the moment. It hurts my heart that he’s really struggling. Take care ok..

[@ReactADHD]

It does indeed - hope he feels better 😊

[@heartwork8318]

This one is so powerful and heartbreaking! You definitely should check her out and be prepared she is an absolute beast in the best possible way 😁❤️‍🔥✌🏻🫶🏻

[@ReactADHD]

Will do!!

[@deborahhalbert3372]

I found your channel this weekend as I was home trying to get through a bad case of the flu. And I had a guilty thought about enjoying my favorite Ren reactions when I knew he was going through it yet again with his health problems. You posted this a few hours ago, and just 2 hours ago I see a post from Ren saying how down he was and struggling with the relapse and asking fans to post any encouraging words or stories that might help him. You’re a very articulate guy so don’t hesitate to share. This is Ren and he said he needs us. ❤❤️‍🩹❤

[@ReactADHD]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's so important to support artists like Ren during tough times. I’ll definitely consider sharing some encouraging words to uplift him!

[@hummingbirdstones]

You definitely need to check out some of Chinny's stuff. That girl is a beast. Nice reaction, Ollie. This is one of my favorites and I feel it every single time I hear it.

[@ReactADHD]

I will check it out

[@Cthugni]

YEAS! Rawness is the Word I was looking for. So true about so much of his and hers. Love your reaction on this also. You are as raw in your emotions as they are 😀💪

[@ReactADHD]

Bless you

[@ricci8497]

Ren spotted her performing and knew instantly he wanted to record music with her I seem to recall they both had the same agent and got in touch that way but it took some convincing to get her on board. There are a few video's of him taking her busking something that she never did before.

[@Lemonbees]

My take on the fear ... is fear makes us sweat... baptising us.

[@ant1010]

Great reaction as always. Ren says he's agnostic but he thinks about it a lot ,try Dear God ,by him. As for Daisy (Chinchilla) Fingers live is terrific

[@Caketime2]

Notice where he looks when he says "when he gave up the fight a quick decision in the night"... then look back at when he looks at that same up-right spot throughout the song... he's looking up at the bridge that Joe jumped from

[@BillyVatcher]

Thank you for reacting to one of my favorite Ren songs :)❤

[@ReactADHD]

No worries, appreciate it

[@melissaisloud7404]

How can you hear somebody like Ren and not hear divinity speaking through him? His pain forged a prophet.

[@ReactADHD]

Thats the conundrum.

[@marydelaney9113]

Ren comes from a musical family. His father, Martin Gill has his own YT channel. Apparently there are 2 Martin Gills so you have to get the right one. I checked it out and you can see it's at least partly genetic. His illness and pain is his source of inspiration. In my opinion anywa🤷‍♀️​@ReactADHD

[@Codex7777]

I hear beauty, pain, poetry, humanity but as divinity is fiction, I don't hear that. Ren would be horrified to be called a prophet. He's commented on it before when some people were labelling him as such. I know it's meant well but still...

[@marydelaney9113]

​@@ReactADHDRen has stated he isn't religious but loves the stories and imagery. He comes from a musical family. His father Martin Gill has his own YT channel. (There are 2 Martin Gills so you have to get the right one) I checked it out, and it proves that at least some of his talent is genetic. The illness and pain is his inspiration and drive. That my opinion anyway. He says his adhd has made him obsessive about his music, which explains his skill and extreme high quality of his work.

[@ZephyrsLoki]

​@@Codex7777 I agree! I call him my cult leader to be funny though. I believe he sees the humor in it!

[@laurilocke]

I really like your reactions 😊

[@ReactADHD]

Thanks for the support!

[@staceyharris4937]

Please react to Chinchilla's Fingers live and Little Girl Gone. All of her stuff is fabulous too. Can't go wrong ❤

[@Irmelinis]

Many hugs to you. This is a tough one to get through

[@whatsername123]

🍕 feeding the algomonster

[@Dr.Brummel]

Thanks for your reaction 👍❤ Yes, this is a hard one. As others already stated, it's dedicated to Joe. There are three more songs dedicated to Joe: - Freckled Angles: beautiful homage to Joe. - Su!cIde: about su!cIdal feelings and Joe's end. - Ren - For Joe (Live Performance Video): begins with the end of Su!cIde. Ren finds some kind of peace with the trauma. Six month after Joe's end Rens friend Callum drowned in an accident. The song Mackay is about him. The video description explains why it took Ren so long to create that song. It's piano only but nonetheless very emotional.

[@ZephyrsLoki]

This one is not dedicated to Joe. He's stated as much in interviews. The last line is about Joe.

[@rw9019]

Lighten up with Uninvited 😊

[@SandraP3796]

Cut you off by Chinchilla is my favorite. MF Diamond is an interesting one. I think the song is about Ren’s illness and the end about Joe his friend. I enjoy your Ren reactions

[@ReactADHD]

Thanks so much!

[@dave.james007]

Awesome reactions,if you want something fun definitely check out the Love Music 1,2,3,4 😊 Chinchilla Ren's musical sibling if you want something really deep, Suicide then for Joe ✌️

[@ReactADHD]

I'll get there for sure!

[@nicolefagala3270]

Excellent reaction❤❤

[@nada-8-4-2]

It's great to see you still dipping in Rens ink pot. Sharing the love amongst the independants is great ❤

[@ReactADHD]

It really is!

[@kerrypierre9494]

Great performance, you should check out some of Chinchilla's music, she has a pretty good catalog.👍🔥

[@ReactADHD]

will do! Thank you

[@cardbuddy4988]

Good for you for working through the difficulty of this song. We can see how it affected you.

[@jonathanbradshaw2665]

Wow! You're pouring out the reactions my bro and, as usual it's great. But I heard you say it, I heard you say that you have to check out more of Chinchilla's solo stuff and I'm holding you to that @ReactADHD. You have to do it now that you've said it. 'Fingers - live for Hunger TV' next, if you please

[@ReactADHD]

Oh I will get to them for sure!!

[@deannatyler880]

Could you please react to Chinchilla~ Fingers live for hunger tv and 1:5 live

[@ReactADHD]

I will get there!!

[@Sdt526]

@@ReactADHDthey definitely need to be top of the list with little girl gone, you’ll love that video 😁

[@chocoladehagel]

The moment has come that you'll want to be listening to Ren's songs about Joe. Chronologically: Freckled Angels, Su!c*de and For Joe

[@ReactADHD]

all on the list now lol

[@Punatik]

FYI There are 3 video versions of Freckled Angels. A live one filmed 8-9 months after Joel’s death. A studio version with just the album cover showing. And one he did for Joe’s birthday filled with pictures of Joe. All very emotional but 1 and 3 are the rawest.

[@lanaschaf]

Love your reactions ❤🙏 If you need something more uplifting I recommend Love Music 1-4. Gets you to some older stuff at the same time with part 1+2 (and how he stays true to his character)

[@ReactADHD]

I will get to them :)

[@ReactADHD]

Thank you!

[@cathywethington5913]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@philflynn9161]

Great reaction ❤

[@ReactADHD]

Thank you!! 😁

[@isabell.369]

🙏🏼❤️

[@noorieiversen]

I would love to see you react to Aurora - A soul with no king, the live performance. And Yebba 'One more Smile' the live performance. ❤❤❤

[@ReactADHD]

I will add to the list!

[@dianejones8225]

❤️‍🔥

[@michaelwalsh7359]

Check out REN’s most recent post to his community tab on KZbin! Great react btw!

[@ReactADHD]

Thanks! Will do!

[@michaelwalsh7359]

It’s heartbreaking to think someone that has given so much of himself, so much inspiration, so much hope…. now begging for a little for himself…

[@sunamitatheone]

Now u need to become a Chinchiller so I recomend you Fingers Live Version of Chinchilla.❤

[@bodilfrausing7966]

🫂❤️ Stay safe.

[@wickedsoul5723]

There's a lovely interview with Chinchilla and Lolli Wren. (Lolli is another singer/reaction person on KZbin) It's worth a watch to get to know Chinchilla a little.

[@wickedsoul5723]

Lolli is known as the fairy voice mother on KZbin if you wish to check that out.

[@ReactADHD]

I will get around to it thank you!

[@belindamelville2270]

❤❤❤❤😢

[@audivawalsh2983]

There are more Ren and Chinchilla collaborations coming when Rens next album is released. Chinchilla is a force in her own right. Most people went to Fingers Live for Hunger TV after hearing these two and I agree. Other awesome ones are 1:5, MF Diamond, Cut You Off, Elements. Ren and Chinchilla consider each other musical siblings if you were curious :) Also Ren has stated that he's agnostic (see his song Eden), but he likes to use religious concepts for poetic purposes.

[@ReactADHD]

Great info thank you 👍🏻

[@GhostWatcher2024]

"Baptized" as in the literal act. Religiosly, baptism isnt the promise you carry with you, its the literal submergence, the symbolic act. When he says the fear baptized him, its as in being submerged in fear, feeling like the fear might drown him.

[@ReactADHD]

can tell im an atheist lol

[@ZephyrsLoki]

​@@ReactADHD💜💜💜

[@traveling2media]

On your commentary about REN and religious references, I recommend that you react to his acoustic version of Troubles. It’s about overcoming adversity and being grateful. That said his song DearGod challenges religion.

[@ReactADHD]

Thanks for the insights! I will get to it!

[@Dnc2413]

As someone who likes rock music, I highly recommend bounce back by chinchilla

[@ReactADHD]

I will get there!

[@Dr.Brummel]

Ahh, and did you see the thumbnail for the Lyric Video? The semicolon? It's a hint to Project Semicolon: "Project Semicolon is a compassionate online community that centers around mental health awareness and suicide prevention. Our platform serves as a safe haven for individuals to share their stories, find support, and contribute to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health challenges." "The semicolon, a punctuation mark that represents a pause rather than an ending, encapsulates our ethos. Just as an author uses a semicolon to continue a sentence rather than concluding it, we use this symbol to remind everyone that their life story continues even through moments of struggle. Our community embraces the concept that 'Your story isn’t over yet.'" (Both quotes are from their web page).

[@kevingallant8073]

Chinchilla is Ren adjacent. IIRC she suffers,from anxiety, so her lines in Chalk Outlines about Sertraline and a sip of serotonin compliment her history. Musically she is influenced by a lot of Modern divas, such as Beyonce, but also is into old soul/bluesy stuff... they are as eclectic as Ren's influences. Chinchilla also sings about some of her unhealtiest relationships. Think Taylor Swift-sized digs to her exes, but with more F-bombs, and way less bubblegum. They got together musically, partially because they shared the same jackass of a manager... partially because they heard rach other's music and wanted to work together.

[@rodb9275]

A few days back, I thought that I had seen that you did his song "Sui*ide" ?? But I don't see it in your Ren playlist. OR did I imagine it?

[@ReactADHD]

You imagined it im afraid - not struck up the courage to react to that just yet!

[@rodb9275]

@@ReactADHD Highly emotional, but WELL worth it. Seriously. It's a must see. It's about Joe

[@Caketime2]

Fear baptized me I think it's about it washing over him, surrounding him and maybe needs that religious touch to bring him back out of it as if he's going into the water

[@rivernuri]

🦀

[@rivernuri]

(For the 'rithm)

[@thatamymichelle]

You definitely need a break from the heavy Ren stuff, I recommend Back on 74/Message in a Bottle. It’s so fun and different, I think you will enjoy it!

[@ReactADHD]

I'll check it out!

[@kevinwarren3724]

Ren is not religious

[@ReactADHD]

Yep, but there are several religious references across his portfolio.

[@Codex7777]

He's said that he enjoys using religious imagery to illustrate his thoughts but that he's not a believer himself. He's also used imagery from many different religions. Christianity, of course, as it's what he's most familiar with, though strangely it's frequently Catholic imagery... He also uses imagery from Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism and from various 'pagan' beliefs.

[@ant1010]

Another great reaction. Ren describes himself as agnostic but he does think about it a lot. Try Dear God by him. As for Daisy ( Chinchilla) Fingers live is great

[@kevingallant8073]

So... to clarify, when he was in his worst state... wrong diagnosis, no relief through medication, nothing but side effects and psychosis, he became a religious tourist looking for answers... he's studied a lot of religions, which is why he's so good at religious imagery... but he is more agnostic or atheist than anything after all that he's been through.

[@sueweston9462]

❤❤❤

[@tahinia888]

❤❤❤