Engagement period For Muslims - Is there a problem? - Sayed Mahdi Modarresi

In today's society, as there is a requirement to know your spouse before marriage, it is also worthy of discussing the concept of engagement in Islam. Does Islam permit the engagement period? Sayed Mahdi Modarresi explains.
#CLIP4 #HealthyMarriageSeries
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[@user-cp4yd2ye3m]

Nice video. Do you have a link for the whole lecture?

[@alsadat77]

I had a nikkah and my rukhsati wasn’t done for 6 months. I saw many signs such as after a month he would talk with disrespect tell me that I need to change myself to accommodate his holier than thou Pakistani family even though I grew up in Canada with excellent morals and upbringing. Just because I was born here I wasn’t good enough but my Canadian citizenship was why I was chosen. All the signs were there that my marriage was a big mistake but because of fear of what people would say and especially fear of being alone. I dragged this relationship for 20 years. my husband act like a gentleman in front of outsiders but speaks horribly with his wife and kids at home. He was taught one thing by his family and that is blood relations comes before your wife and even yr kids.

[@shh11111]

Oh my god. This is so sad sister. Didnt your parents do research before the nikah??i know girls dont have enough say in south east culture when it comes to marriage but you could have talked to your family about the red flags. I hope you are fine now. Take care

[@user-ou8jf5wn4v]

Oh wow, this sounds like my father.

[@mb-yc7ye]

im so sorry

[@skyejacques]

I pray Allah swt gives you the strength and resources to create a beautiful life for yourself. Narcissistic people are the result of poor upbringing or narcissistic parenting. Much love 💖

[@alsadat77]

@@shh11111 I’m sorry I’m replying late. I just saw my notifications. To answer yr questions my parents did research and people will tell you what they see but no one knows the inside of a person until you become close to them and they stop acting and reality begins to appear. I had told my father that I don’t get a positive vibe from him, he never requested pictures of me and my parents believed that he was pious because in their time a man and woman didn’t see each other until their wedding night. I always had a fear that someone from Pakistan will marry me for immigration to Canada and that’s what happened.

[@truebeliever786]

Great piece by Sayyid Mahdi. This shows the right balance between instant marriage and prolonged engagements, exploring the nuances and flaws of each side and finding the correct equilibrium. Subhanallah!

[@Thaqlain]

As always he is on point :)

[@fatimahm2721]

Thank you, Sheikh. Really helpful.

[@dr.mobarakali255]

Jazakum Allahu Khairan. Perfect...! all deception...!

[@ghalabahmed3301]

1:57 I almost had a heart attack

[@MogguSama]

Hahahahahahahahah

[@tawsifshams6648]

😂

[@qamarraza9478]

سبحان اللہ برادر، جزاک اللہ الخیر۔

[@Fatima-kt7sp]

ممكن ترجمة كلامة إلى اللغة العربية

[@ali1750342]

Very true

[@345jamshed]

Very informative video, Mashallah.

[@Supacked]

100% truth.

[@polopunk7003]

I don’t see why you need any more than 1 year to see someone’s character. Deal breaker character traits tend to start throwing up red flags within 6-12 months in my experience. If you know what to look for and you trust your gut.

[@alsadat77]

Polopunk actually you can see little issues starting after a month but we tend to ignore them because we are fooling ourselves in love

[@farwanqv]

That’s true

[@shh11111]

What was that at 1:58??

[@islamicmedicine5229]

Masha Allah

[@orlandobanto5781]

Allahumma sali ala muhamd wa Ali muhamd wajjil farzahom shreef

[@RUNESCAPER123]

So how long should I wait from the very first meeting to doing the katb ketab

[@fuckindia1177]

excellent totally agree

[@ali-ej2yf]

I'm not Indian but it's very disrespectful to have this user name.

[@mohammadshahidhusaini2464]

i am indian...will you pls explain your username

[@takers8214]

I'm an Indian and dude grow up, what's with the stupid username.

[@ibrahim1058]

If spouses are really looking for proper match for themselves for successful life then they can extend this period as long as required before reaching a decision. Come on......Go and look the culture of qum and parts of Mashhad & views of great ulema specially in family matters, they emphasis more on engagement period.

[@mimokh7485]

Very true

[@l187]

Not true. You should already know what it is exactly you value in a person prior to looking for spouse. Then when a person with those values comes along, you should be able to decipher them quickly. Either this person has these traits that you are looking for or not. Also, there will never be a 100% match anyway. Or even, 90 or 80 or 70% honestly.

[@farwanqv]

Yes but just dragging engagement whereas one partner is totally fine with getting married can be really dangerous specially for the one who wants to get married earlier.

[@farwanqv]

Also he is not against engagement period however he is saying don’t drag it too long.

[@mb-yc7ye]

@@l187 humans are complex. things take time. no one reveals all things about themselves quickly mate

[@mb-yc7ye]

what does he mean 'get to know them', 'take three days... or a week', 'see if all the details are ticked' *when talking about the physical* ? if u want marriage is to work, u gotta tell us Islamic ways of seeing beyond the physical and to who the person really is, surely not tell us that we can look at them to see if we physically like them - which is something that is done anyway, may not have happened in the past, but we are not in those times anymore.

[@kumailalimasjide7895]

That's the problem agha not revealing the true colour during engagement period , not letting the mask drop.

[@Thaqlain]

Do watch our Like A Garment Series. Wr have addressed there in more detail :) kzbin.info/aero/PLOXzVYnjThoq3-ZR43o7yt04vfkU_wOE5

[@riyazahmad6323]

Somehow some true colours are revealed unconsciously or subconsciously

[@seidsadik1868]

im islam but me & my wife is not shea but i atend your lechture

[@abbaskassam9990]

Massive mole on the nose 😁