*engineer that secretly runs your company*

[@programmersarealsohuman5909]

more to come on this channel 📍

[@vRyanXOXO]

need to know where u got that shirt ur wearing 🙏🙏

[@aliah7194]

0}}l​@@vRyanXOXO

[@hanisalauddin2953]

That's one gigantic monitor right there.

[@ef4638]

I read more coffee is coming 😅

[@RogueRunna]

Thank god

[@josemata8865]

He goes up the stairs using tabs

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

And 2-step tabs at that.

[@shivashankar28]

Damn, bro, that's hilarious 😂 😃

[@GoddamnAxl]

Sir you won the internet today

[@undeaddutch]

LMAO

[@75hilmar]

Yeah but it's also a reference to ministry of silly walks by Monty Python

[@longbow6416]

'you dont do much around here, do you?' *Takes off a day 'where were you yesterday? We really needed your help!!'

[@LastDitchGambling]

lol

[@supremerulah420]

Eyyup 😂

[@Apixi]

That about sums up all my years with data entry😂😂😂

[@mellennia9]

Mood of my life except I'm not even an engineer, but rather a failed Chem major (guidance gave me the wrong chem level and i was working full time so i didnt make it past a year 😭) working in the service/retail industry (i should've gone into engineering or something involving schience/mechanics in general as those are some of my favorite things. I guarantee I would've lasted longer in college had I had the right Chem level. Apparently Gen is NOT the beginning like i needed. Learned the hard way).

[@overkill136]

When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.

[@someAholeComment]

The only thing missing is, him having full conversations out loud with himself, and answering his own questions.

[@UNSCPILOT]

Oh, shoot, someone else has seen the external processing, quick start spouting technobabble!

[@dancedancelauren]

Rubber duckie trouble shooting is what my husband calls it!

[@gregsar1321]

​@@dancedancelauren ah yes the rubber duck one of their best friends!

[@ALBINO1D]

Sherlock?

[@reichen609]

​@@gregsar1321 rubber?

[@52flyingbicycles]

CEO: I make this company run This engineer: if I quit it would cause a recession

[@scottstempmail9045]

At the right bank or government office, yes!

[@jermarule34]

Hey I know you from Cora's comment sections lol

[@mo-akif]

Heisenberg type shii

[@jamesshepherd8565]

What do you think a recession is?

[@52flyingbicycles]

@@jamesshepherd8565 I think the technical definition is a substantial downturn in the stock market sustained for multiple quarters. I don’t remember the details. I’m making a joke that the engineer is so important he’s keeping the whole economy together

[@iDropPhats]

This is exactly one of my best friends. Knows all the machinery for his company because he fixes every single piece by himself. Every ticket he completes and signs off on. The company would probably fall apart if it weren’t for him having decades of experience with every type of small manufacturing machine that there is. He’s got a notebook with every small quirk of every machine, it’s borderline insanity, but it keeps the operation running smoothly. He barely talks to anyone at work, only really works for 2-3 hours a day, takes long lunch breaks, and stays out of everyone else’s way. Most people at the company still think he’s an on-call contractor because they see him so rarely. He is the equivalent of a titanium bolt holding up a 500 foot ladder.

[@williamwinstrop3918]

Everyone is replaceable. Your friend is no exception. If he dropped dead tomorrow the company would be fine, production would go on, his position or the equipment he services would be replaced. At best his departure would at worst he described as a hiccup. How anyone gets the skewed vision that any employee isn’t replaceable is wild to me. Papa Jonhs, lost Papa John. KFC lost the colonel. Jack Daniels died in 1911. John D Rockefeller found Exxon Mobile and died in 1937. Your friend is not that crucial. Telling him he is, is lying to him, and inflating his ego. He should be very thankful he is allowed to work for so few hours a day, permitted extended lunches, and paid a living wage for it. I’d take notes too, I’d do whatever it took not to lose such a great position

[@Ereghro]

That's survivor bias btw. Nobody keeps tallies of the companies went bankrupt or closed up shops because of these kind of situations

[@mr.equity1120]

@@williamwinstrop3918Why do you sound resentful about a stranger having a job that allows him to work few hours? Are you actually envious of someone you don’t know? Yikes. Major loser vibes dude, and what’s with that overly cynical overview on life lmao are you ok bro? Its not that deep for you to rant like that.

[@olutukko2681]

​@@williamwinstrop3918you really took all that time to write that just because someone admires their friend?

[@yeh.80]

​@@Ereghroyep, you hit the nail on the head. Sounds like the commenter above is just salty af.

[@glados4765]

There was this guy at this plant called Transpo Electronics in Florida. They made circuit boards for car manufacturers. Anyway this one particular guy shuffled around the plant all day, never looking up, never tied his left shoe, spoke in soft mumbles. You could ask him any questions about math, programming, etc he would push his large coke bottle glasses up and give you the answer like it was nothing. He literally designed almost every piece of proprietary technology the company had. The company was abusing the hell out of him too. He only got about 50k a year. I went over to his house to fix his AC unit as he just didn't deal with it or it was small priority to him for half a year. His 80+ year old mom lived with him (who was in bad shape). So I go there, and it was like something out of Harry Potter, books stacked on books literally to the ceiling everywhere. He said he had already read them all. I didn't charge him. I didn't work at Transpo, I worked for my dad's commercial HVAC company. Transpo had huge chillers and such for their machines so I got to know the ground floor guys pretty well.

[@PrincessHVHHDSSS]

God bless you. Such a kindness. 🕊🌿🌲☘️🪲🐢🌱🌵🪴🍃🫑🍀🌳🌴

[@TheQwuilleran]

Cool story, hope they two are doing okay. Yeah, Floor guys are where you go when you want to know what's actually going on in the plant.

[@johng3029]

A guy with that much knowledge could realistically found their own firm and would easily become a millionaire. It's absolutely criminal that they're only paying him $50k...

[@Lodinn]

@@johng3029 Universalists are never paid well. At one point in time, I got 2x to my then-salary by simply refusing to do something I could do in an afternoon and making them hire someone else for the role. As for the starting your own thing, it requires lots of other managerial (soft) skills. It's one thing to be able to hack together a solution in a week or two and completely another to enable a team to do it in a permanent basis. Business typically only values the latter.

[@SpringNotes]

That's sad to hear.

[@masonhales]

the guy that shows up to work, works, and then goes home.

[@bilge677]

the one thing HR/corporate hates the most. A lack of bullshit and drama.

[@UdderlyEvelyn]

I really think my last job hated me for doing this - it's like it scared them or threatened them. They didn't understand me lol.

[@Lazarus_G]

Fired for not contributing to company culture. If you're here just for a paycheck, you're in the wrong place. /s

[@arecestravi]

My favorite kind of coworkers. I'm chatty extraverted kind of, but I have a lot of respect for them.

[@shadowknows420]

​@@arecestraviyea cuz they do all your work

[@berenedain8427]

Thinking about world domination? No, thinking about word documentation.

[@FFLapin]

🤣🤣🤣

[@laborspy]

Nope .. lack of documentation in his world keeps him where he is.

[@twilightgeneral777]

Word documentation? So the dictionary?

[@ricseeds4835]

No, world domination is right.

[@ShovelChef]

Think bigger. Not just definitions. Applications and translations.

[@unhander]

Damn those steps, the coffee, the lunch with the laptop, and those turns, feels like. I am looking at myself and I can finally understand why people see me as something strange.

[@hainesjw]

We ought to start a support group. 😂

[@unhander]

@@hainesjw it's more like the company that I left behind, they went bankrupt, in less than a year after I moved out.

[@Obzkurum666]

​@@unhanderWhat were you guys building?

[@unhander]

@@Obzkurum666 Dry Docks, MYDP to be exact.

[@Slowly_We_Rot]

What is this condition called because I have it?

[@05basTi]

the engineer that secretly runs your company is the service technician that repairs the coffee maker in case of an emergency

[@BenDrechsel]

I’ll have it taken apart, diagnosed, fixed, and upgrade parts ordered before the service tech even shows up… oh wait I already had a critical task I was supposed to be working on?

[@johnmunro4952]

The hot water dispenser at work has been crying out for it's filter to be changed for at least 6 weeks. It finally gave up last week. I fear there may be a homicides in the traffic office at any moment.

[@05basTi]

@@johnmunro4952 that's a serious issue mate, you better work from home for the time being

[@memethief4113]

@@BenDrechselpriorities, how can that critical task be dealt with without coffee?

[@evm6177]

An absolute necessity.. Coffee machine 😑 yes and yes! Lol, somebody just beat me to the 707th like.. Dang!?!

[@MalloryMacher]

You leave that poor man alone. His meat suit is glitching while his mind is operating in 4D.

[@jvrock7]

Omg that is a perfect explanation of the Autistic experience!🤣❤👏👏👏

[@ricseeds4835]

I like this description

[@BesannaRael]

I call my body a meat suit too!

[@colebeavers2730]

@@BesannaRaelme too!

[@keekers]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@opinionatedone]

This is the exact picture for me when I tell my son with autism that there's a place in the world for him, and when he finds it, it's going to be great

[@je8z6x]

Oh yaaaas! 💪💯

[@pizzlerot2730]

High functioning autistics really need to hear that because the opposite feels true 99.99% of the time out in the world. You're a good parent.

[@kinfairliecinder5297]

Yes, he will find a perfect place for him. I have autism (still undiagnosed but planning to get one soon). It took me a while but I finally found the best company for me, people don't mind that I'm a little weird. I worked in tech, I'm not the best employee in the company, I don't hold a very important position but keep the wheels going smoothly. We're a small tech company, I know everyone well, i know what they're good at, what they can't do, i know all of our clients, I know our product in and out, it's history, the issues with it and all future enhancements that the company is planning. Everyone at work asks me if they need to find something work related, my brain can piece everything together very quickly and get the correct answer. I always wondered by my colleague's takes forever to find the answer when the answer looks obvious until I learned that my brain works differently from them. I think people with Autism would excel at a work that holds their interest as once they focused on something, they'll try to learn everything about their interest.

[@jonaskarlsson5901]

I would be really pissed off if someone told me that

[@opinionatedone]

@@jonaskarlsson5901 interesting.

[@gabrielnilo6101]

Bob, the guy who everyone thought never worked on anything to realize he fixed everyone's mistakes and never let bad code go into the final product.

[@rifraf262]

I like it. He's basically gone rogue for the good of the company because hes too autistic to do it politically.

[@mitchelk.3682]

Wait yours was also called bob😂?

[@monad_tcp]

I realized I was that guy the day I quit, company lost equivalent to my entire year salary in a problem with credit cards processing. Someone pushed bad code and no one was there to fix mistakes.

[@gabrielnilo6101]

@monad_tcp Sorry, if you think you are that guy, then you are not. JK

[@Ciprian-Amarandei]

Or...he is the one sucking up to his upper management by browsing around the office hoping to meet one of them in the kitchen with the following line: "Oh man....I am so tired working on that code, this is my 10th coffee"

[@MonokelJohn]

I suddenly understand what it looks like when I walk up multiple steps.

[@shieldgenerator7]

same xD

[@yerpderp6800]

Doing 3 or even 2 looks weird as hell. The best amount to skip while still looking acceptable is 1.

[@mjk9388]

I feel the same way.

[@DanielCrist]

Now I fully understand why I was bullied in high school.

[@RubixB0y]

If you just give a little pop in the back foot, it looks much less labored. 3 stairs is for the elite though, I humbly bound up 2 at a time

[@mungbean345]

I married one of these fantastical beings. It's been 12 hilarious years of me trying to learn about code quality, and "no, Java does not equal JavaScript," and how to play video games, and "have you turned it off and back on again?" Meanwhile, I've introduced him to crazy things like colors other than black, and gardening (even though he doesn't like the graphics out there), and real homemade meals, and this old-timey thing known as "paper" (he's not a fan, but I'm still trying.)😂❤ 10/10, would marry him again.

[@x0_alex_0x91]

You guys sound so cute.

[@alstonkendra9]

This my nephew who is in school to be an engineer. He is so very smart. I would love for him to meet a woman like you, one day.

[@stringlarson1247]

"Java != JavaScript" He's a keeper.

[@karolusmagnus3992]

lol I'm the "fantastical being" and my fiance is just like you. She does embroidering and cooking, she's a nurse. I'm a programmer who plays world of warcraft and has autism lol. She's amazing, even though she doesn't have an opinion on tabs vs. spaces, I love her anyway!

[@scrimb]

You're cool for indulging him haha. People that are passionate about what they do are always fun

[@jel1951]

That turn to the engineering team as they say "fire the rest of the engineering team" hahaha

[@tisaconundrum]

Ok. I was wondering if they really did say that 😂😂😂

[@lyitmnlig]

Nice

[@lightning1605]

He gave them the "these guys are idiots, we're fucked look" cause their going to lose they're jobs and he's going to have to pick up the slack when their gone

[@Doomer_Optimist]

"Nice!"

[@ilovefunnyamv2nd]

That 'Nice' was personal. You just know he spent more time debugging their poorly commented code, than it wouod have tsken him to do it on his own

[@ImSlo7yHD]

You forgot the stress ball that he picked from the last convention he went to.

[@TrinitronX]

He goes through them too quickly... the cheap foam splits under the immense stress and strain.

[@BoomChockolaca]

Hey, I have this one at my desk😭 but I occasionally use to play it with office dogs

[@tomasprochazka6198]

With pens, he never uses :D

[@andrewmtgx]

😂 i luv free stuff that is useful !

[@Kawalzki]

You know it's serious when he starts talking g tk the duck on his desk

[@larkop6504]

We had this old guy, looked the personification of a nutty professor. Sitting in the far corner of the factory with his 3 decade old computer. Had to Audit his department, omg never judge a book by its cover, two PhDs to his name, turned out he founded the business 50 years prior and his wee computer kept everything off network with all the drawings to national security tech. Such a gentleman as well.

[@RcSamurai]

*thinking about world documentation

[@Dinger_D]

X2

[@shieldgenerator7]

thats what i first read too haha

[@Maciej-Komosinski]

...or rather Word documentation :P

[@MothyOnes111]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ❤

[@ValueOfJoy]

+

[@Consural]

Skipping stairs, the lunch, the abrupt turns, the throw-catch. The accuracy in this is insane.

[@AW00047]

The motionless arm walk

[@vgraves9226]

😮😮😮😮

[@yoeyyoey8937]

Consural you run the company?

[@Leo-sd3jt]

Guy doesn't walk diagonally though so it's not efficient

[@bloodsmithgamer5071]

...I do all of this stuff, wtf am I doing as a mechanic

[@RelativelyHuman]

Does the engineer run the company, or does the coffee, that runs the engineer, run the company

[@FSTECVBDXC]

My company (on the list of 500) laid off an accounting supervisor who looked just like this guy on the video. They hired a whole team in India to replace him but this team cannot figure out how to do his work. Nobody can. The whole Finance team works overtime fixing tiny system mistakes here and there. We waste thousands of dollars every months on something that was super easy for him. Its funny to watch , I just cannot stop laughing

[@HuntingTarg]

That's still not as bad as the executive at Sears who did simple maths and eliminated one entire division of the company whose operation costs were equal to their annual losses - the catalog division. Turns out it was the only division that was profitable and that sent Sears spiralling into bankrupcy.

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

This comment made me so happy 😂😂😂😂 thanks for sharing

[@FSTECVBDXC]

@@HuntingTarg ha ha ha!! I didn’t know that. Amazing !

[@j.ballsdeep420]

Sounds a lot like my company on the 100 list

[@W4TSKY]

@@HuntingTarg”we need to cut costs, let’s fire the sales team!” 😂

[@GHOSTUSER00]

And remember - No one notice what you do... Until you dont do it anymore.

[@studentoflife385]

Isn't that actually the core, and aim, of the situation: you are quietly invaluable 😁 Seems awfully peaceful and a proudly productive position. Love the bare feet and swinging chair, movement sometimes helps thinking. Might just be my dream job 😊

[@lechenaultia5863]

And you are replaced by two professionals and a support worker

[@alexasophieridderstrom2631]

That's how I feel as a stay-at-home-mom.

[@shamanschlong]

@@studentoflife385 quietly invaluable aka underpaid

[@beverleybee1309]

And then no one can figure out how you made it look so effortless. ---And you're not there to tell them it only seemed that way because they weren't paying attention.

[@N00bKefka]

The amount of coffee brew is the exact proof that all these coffees are converted into code and tech documentations

[@johncameron1935]

Coffee in, work out. It's a simple code but quite unbreakable.

[@boi8328]

and shareholders will force the company to fire this guy for not being "enthusiastic" enough and wonder why the line is going down

[@illegalsmirf]

what do you mean? why would shareholders ever interact with an employee?

[@Direblade11]

It's not shareholders making those decisions, it's CEOs figuring out how to make numbers look like they're increasing and increasing so investors with 0 interest believe they'll keep making money. Just a vicious cycle of "needing" to increase profit. A company can't make 1 million dollars every year for 10 years to these people.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

@@Direblade11 It's hard to really call things like that people, they're really more akin to icons of Greed rather than actual humans. They fully believe that the 5m short-term gain is sustainable and that it can even go further than that.

[@wintermint77]

@@Direblade11That’s just the nature of Capitalism. Why would anyone invest in a company if they don’t expect their investment to grow? The need for ever-increasing profit margins is one of the many criticisms that people have had against Capitalism for literal centuries.

[@Direblade11]

@@wintermint77 Aight I guess I'm a socialist then

[@Weiqin1000]

As not an engineer, I can confirm every engineer is secretly a robot that runs on coffee and is pretending to be a human by eating food.

[@Santor-]

Yeah, 6-8 coffees per day is the norm for me. Plus the 2 at home in the morning and one after dinner, so 9-11 daily.

[@MichaelRainey]

Can confirm. I am a coffee powered robot.

[@akshatsharma8151]

As an engineering student, I can confirm that I am a robot that runs on coffee

[@__cypher__]

As a coffee engineer, I can confirm, you are all robots.

[@izatt82]

​@@__cypher__ hey hey hey, just keep the coffee coming.

[@ScottJB]

Facts. Nerdy guy, possibly slightly on the spectrum. Probably doesn't decide money related stuff but runs the show on the product side and how all that gets done.

[@striipexx4204]

I liked how the coffee Maschine got more and more aggressive after each coffee 😂

[@Steve-gz3sy]

I had one that would do that too

[@DF-xj4pv]

*coffee making intensifies*

[@cobalt1754]

That's the Nespresso Vertuo Evoluo. Not advertising it, but when I use it, it sounds like a jet engine during takeoff.

[@Santor-]

Ours do that too. After the 6th-7th coffee it sounds really angry.

[@marymasavage8986]

How many coffee machines does this company go through in a week, I wonder? 🤔

[@romangeneral23]

And then is laid off in the first round and all his work is dumped onto you!

[@glenmurie]

Nobody knows what he was doing until the critical systems start failing a month or two after he was laid off.

[@hjvlthiny]

Funny enough, I have colleagues like you. Complaining that I do tasks that are too complex for them to take over when I somehow “disappear”. Their solution; I should stop working and those tasks should be outsourced.

[@ElmerGLue]

@@hjvlthinyeven better, they control a core part of the product and their fires are the teams fires yet they don’t listen to feedback to prevent fires.

[@leovillant768]

​@@glenmurieand his session and OS is so custom you can't even manage to navigate the files

[@lucbloom]

Or worse, just the code and no direction of where the project was going or a list of people who relied on him to keep things going.

[@ayoitskryptic]

I know an engineer like this in my company and he primarily wfh, but man he’s a wiz! The company sees him as this otherworldly engineer who has an answer or observation to majority of engineering infrastructure based problems. He can code, document, manage incidents, solve other department problems, while responding to a billion slack dms.

[@Vidasinvida]

Damn that’s impressive as hell

[@djscolio]

This is me, but I always have the conversation with a boss "I don't know what to do with you..."

[@Estrallio]

You know you cant fire him without the entire database getting fragmented

[@highping1786]

I left a place once and gave them two weeks notice. If they hadn't immediatly walked me out the door they could have gotten the password for every document and file I ever worked on. They called the next day i a panic and I told them I didn't work there anymore and it was too bad they didn't keep me around for two weeks for a handover.

[@artyom-ei2mf]

​@@highping1786 you just gave me an idea on how to make sure this doesn't happen to me lol

[@Chizoba1996]

@@highping1786 Fantastic!

[@TheAnantaSesa]

@@highping1786serves them right

[@oncewasblind4292]

@@highping1786 That's some malicious compliance right there.

[@caerulemusic]

optimizing the stair performance

[@sawgerrera7396]

Top😂😂😂

[@tisaconundrum]

Honestly... I keep telling all my other friends to do this. But I understand now. They aren't developers.

[@caerulemusic]

@@tisaconundrum your dev ambassador work goes unappreciated by the layfolk

[@RobertGriffith9]

Using only 1/3 of the computation time to reach the same result

[@TheWhiteyOfDarkness]

Skipping steps is for me the equivalent of Fast Travel in video games. It makes me feel like there are no stairs :D

[@weterra4927]

The classic: I have no addictions, proceeds to drink 2 Liters of coffee.

[@skilz8098]

It's not an addiction, it's a necessity!

[@weterra4927]

@@skilz8098 Hahahah. That is exactly how they sound!

[@woodificould]

My entire grad school department was filled with ppl like this, but the funniest part is that only like 3 of them were actually like this and then the rest were faking it because ppl think you're smarter is you're weird and quirky. Years later, Sam Bankman-Fried proved them all right, that you are, in fact, percieved as smarter if you just act weird enough 😂

[@HellCat_Kenny]

The omni-present social game, the most determining factor of success.

[@MadsterV]

@@HellCat_Kenny sadly, but with caveats anyway

[@chesspiece4257]

you’ve gotta be a white man too, that’s the secret sauce

[@Anymonous246]

pretend geniuses vs real geniuses. the right credentials, social proof, okay talent/skillset, and the right acting seems to get you relatively far. Unless you're somewhere where performance is VERY transparent and matters VERY much. then I think you just have to be Great - no two ways about it

[@ghoulbuster1]

Bankman was imitating human behavior but his Jewish genes doesn't know what being human is.

[@Rapscallion2009]

Should have added the finger drumming, pen twirling and occasional jiving silently on your chair to a rhythm only you hear.

[@Lettuce-fl4wt]

1000%

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

Ye deffo gotta have all the stimming

[@reharm_reality]

The more I read these comments the more I'm convinced that we're just describing autism

[@martakeczek6476]

​@@reharm_reality yep, or ADHD. High functioning like my aunt likes to mark(a neurotypical). Those are ppl among us, too!

[@EffieReal]

Invisible beard stroking. While female.

[@789mauro1]

OH MY GOD THOSE SHARP TURNS ARE RELATABLE AF. I GUESS I FOUND MY DOPPLEGANGER

[@marcelastacey890]

😂

[@L3x4Pr0ne]

I used to be much more technical and have stopped because management is sometimes like herding cats, but I’ve always kept my eye out for the small percentage of people who essentially “keep the ship afloat.” These are the 20% absolute essentials. The other 60% may be pretty good, but it won’t wreck the place if they leave (the last 20% being a good interviewers, but not great at production, jaded because they think they were slighted, or toxic a holes who want to watch things burn). When I find these folks I proceed to pay them as much as a budget and my bosses will permit. Base salary raises, bonuses, stock, to start…then It’s mostly whatever will “keep them happy,” which usually means giving them interesting projects, leaving them alone to work independently, and occasionally taking them out to lunch and simply asking them about random problems at work to let them know “I see your work and hear you.” I may not be as technical anymore but I’m happy to do whatever it takes to make those people happy, and ensure they know it. After a while as a manager you can pick out these people pretty quickly, then it’s just a matter of understanding their personality and how to interact (or not) with them. Personally I don’t give a shit what your personality is (as long as it doesn’t impact others) and I’ll ensure that coffee maker is never broken and the pantry stocked with your favorite blend if you keep things truckin’

[@capybara81346]

You sound like a good boss.

[@L3x4Pr0ne]

@@capybara81346 i try. I’m propped up by god people.

[@sweetea6550]

what's your personality type? 😮

[@HuntingTarg]

You've identified the Pareto Principle in personnel management. And if I may adjust your maths: 20% are essential 60% are replacable 20% are fireable Sounds like a gaussian distribution to me...

[@hainesjw]

Unless you Jack Welsh it year after year…then you get a very different distribution. RIP, GE

[@jordishima]

There’s a reason Savantism is so rare: this dude got all of it, and I ain’t even mad at it. Dude’s wearing novelty Jurassic Park t-shirts to work and making six figures. If only we were all so lucky

[@HellCat_Kenny]

I wouldn't be too jealous because at the end of the day no one is safe from the eternal chopping block of cutting costs.

[@3XP3NDABL3]

​@@HellCat_Kennyyeah, but if you're genuinely good at what you do, then there is always another job

[@TelithsRage]

@@HellCat_Kenny Meh, I thought I was safe because I was this guy at an investment bank. 100% of the server ran on my SOE. 70% of the server in the DC were put there by my hands. Script looking for errors other people made performed hundreds of thousands of checks each night and gave me a report on issues to raise each morning. I would write scripts to write script to deploy thing, with backout and verification scripts. I worked 40 weekends per year, essentially 6 days a week all year long. Automated VMware provisioning (in 2008), automated capacity prediction, etc, etc. Thousands of servers, all supported by me even though we HAD a support team. Got a 5/5 god tier review, promotion and 2 months later got retrenched at the end of the GFC. The company then had to hire a consulting firm and buy a series of products to replace all my hard to understand custom code, which I wrote in VBS to ensure other people could maintain it. The non coding friends I left behind told me the invoices they saw started at 2 million of consulting to just replace my work, not including internal time. The worst part is that most of what the consultants could not replace was descoped so the 2mil took the company backwards. Why? At 160k total package I was 'expensive' compared to my peers. Meh, I'm now paid over double that and work less. The Company did not fail, but they had 'hard times' more retrenchments, budgets blown out, etc. I had been there for 12 years and they were generous with severance. I got paid around a years wage to leave. No harm to me, stupid decision for them though ;).

[@marcelastacey890]

You can be so “lucky“ - it’s called, go to college, do the homework, study for the tests, get busy instead of partying. That’s how it goes. You got this!!!! 💪👍😋

[@christerjakobsen8107]

@@HellCat_Kenny And then the company goes under because they put the unassuming but actual load-bearing employees on the chopping block.

[@DennisIvy]

Please don’t record me at work 😡

[@apIthletIcc]

Bro's legs are effectively just macros

[@marcelastacey890]

😂 good one

[@apIthletIcc]

@@marcelastacey890 thanks lol I saw this and laughed at my own joke again 😂

[@xvindix]

Remote debugging via brain only while staring at coffee machine 😂

[@scottstempmail9045]

For us it was a group mind meld by the coffee machine.

[@skylark4901]

Funny, I'm a machinist, we have that guy in our company, "Pat", Masters in electrical, mechanical, helps out software dept., if I'm out and something is needed, he'll head down to the machine shop! Lol, We had a company come in because we had a problem with our phone network, guy was having trouble, next thing you know Pat's helping him! Lol

[@amadexmilby7309]

If you come to him with a problem he just utters the word, "efficiency" and things get done.

[@Vidasinvida]

LMAO

[@ninjaasmoke]

1. Takes 4 steps at once to assert dominance 2. Has severe carpal tunnel syndrome (pushes through it with illegal amounts of coffee) 3. Does not use shoes or slippers Checks out

[@Blundabus1337]

I feel targeted when you mentioned the shoe part.

[@FGuilt]

Good LUCK replacing the guys that know how literally everything works.

[@Thect]

I think I'm doing 90% of what you listed in this short everyday... skipping stairs, walking with sharp turns, staring at the floor, spinning chairs...

[@thegreenxeno9430]

I like how this clip captures the everyday stuff without exaggerating it.

[@isenewotheophilus6485]

Miraculously i've stop spinning my chair

[@MAcDaTHo]

think about how inefficient sharp turns are....

[@lauriran]

@@MAcDaTHo I prefer Bézier curves.

[@SimpleFluorescence]

Autism.

[@alden1132]

Engineer, internally: "Why is that person following me around, filming me? Maybe I should confront them. No, that would be an inefficient use of my time, as I lack sufficient data to form a conclusion at this time. Also, I prefer to _avoid_ confrontation. I'll continue to gather data surreptitiously, and decide on a course of action when I'm sufficiently informed..."

[@losernob8618]

The "twirling the bottle and dropping it" bit hits far too close to home 😆

[@johnsimon8457]

My “Barefoot in the office guy” did NOT run the company.

[@paypalmymoneydfs]

Yeah but he thought he did

[@ezradlionel711]

He did correct that wiki page tho

[@rifraf262]

How were his stair climbing stats?

[@Tldr205]

I hate that guy

[@Beerdude26]

Mine did lmfao

[@notlistening6499]

KZbin skit with friends: ❌ Stalking coworkers with camera: ✅

[@moopleaf]

It's staged don't worry haha!

[@notlistening6499]

@@moopleaf tell it to the judge

[@mycupoverflows7811]

Thank you for not filming the 4 hours he spent on the toilet from all the coffee... sincerely, an engineer's wife😂😂

[@estebanb7166]

Nothing in this world would function properly without neurodivergent people. Shout out to all the spicy folks making things happen.

[@cat-mf1sk]

you're prolly joking, i cant for the life of me tell. But thanks person on the internet that's unironically make feel motivated /gen

[@PlushieMaxxing]

I don't suffer from Autism I *thrive* from Autism.

[@nosam1998]

@@PlushieMaxxing Adopting this mindset is truly the only way to live. I was depressed for years and finally decided to take control of my life. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

[@estebanb7166]

@@cat-mf1sk I’m not joking.

[@cat-mf1sk]

@@estebanb7166 well thanks🤭

[@andrewlance3898]

Coffee machine going Super Saiyan only to cut to two cups of coffee is beautiful

[@demetriusjohnson5358]

Bro this is under rated comment 😂

[@Vidasinvida]

LOL

[@pdcichosz]

I like slightly weird people. They are true, genuine souls. Unlike the rest of us.

[@Dap740]

Tru

[@LinkageAX]

He made the mistake of falling ill once, the company fired him and replaced him with someone cheaper and more qualified. It soon went bankrupt.

[@ellenmcdaniel1550]

I can relate to this, and I'm not even an engineer. I'm a housekeeper. I fall ill for too long, they fire me, then the place goes down the drain.

[@fatherpucci6111]

​@@ellenmcdaniel1550 how the hell a place can goes down the drain by replacing a freakin janitor

[@chumfartlin9963]

@@fatherpucci6111 Yeah lol

[@UNSCPILOT]

Capitalism: self sabotage in the name of short term profit, then wonder why everything fell apart when all the competent people were fired

[@UNSCPILOT]

​@@fatherpucci6111 Talk to a local janitor about some of the crap they have to deal with, then realize without them that workplace would become an unsanitary mess, people don't realize how valuable the Janitor is until they're gone

[@EMBer3000]

The guy with no drama. Nothing ever seem to happen. Everything just works. Often, the first guy fired because management haven't ever heard of him or seen him do anything. Everybody freaks out when things suddenly stop working after they leave.

[@kristinathomas5890]

Surprise, he has ADHD, so the coffee calms him down. He is stressed by how much work he has.

[@amaas211]

Main character much? Speedrunning, efficiency potions, quick saving and loading, noticing the npc that gained sentience

[@amaas211]

In the middle of potion brewing, doing some skill testing, and failing.

[@danbiohack5353]

People can always help themselves by advocating for this guy. Get him a $5 raise and he'll tell you next weeks lotto numbers

[@gmachineq]

The behavior in this video is so much like my son it’s hysterical. (He’s on spectrum, but an adult now). The stairs and the flipping and dropping things while walking, the half slow spin chair. I laughed out loud. The only difference is my son is a musician and had been since birth he’s apparently pitch perfect (whatever the heck that means) and can pick up almost any instrument and play music with it. (All while never being able to read music. Even after I worked a second job for 4 years to get a private tutor to teach him. lol. Wouldn’t change him for the world. This guys are awesome and I think we are better with them. Cheers!

[@Dap740]

Awwww you're so cute and your son ❤

[@Gunnerforfree]

Give that guy an office and a coffee machine

[@heyjonbray]

too much attention

[@someAholeComment]

No. Trips it to coffee machine prevent cerebral overheating. It's an integral part of the process.

[@nowknow]

This is me and I'm just now realizing how awkward I am... FML there is no hope anymore, I'm in too deep.

[@jonathaniszorro]

Don't worry about it. Normal people are boring, and if someone doesn't like you because you're a bit weird, that's their problem.

[@tristancox2156]

Please never change, though. 💕

[@dkis8730]

Eh these are all generic. Some ppl's brains work differently, but they give us uniqueness that is especially appreciated in this age where everyone fits in. Not to mention quick thinking, higher problem solving skills, and general intelligence. Don't let anyone or anything make you feel bad for being "labeled" as anything that may have a negative connotation. You are you, and what you feel and experience and make of it, is what your human experience is all about

[@solar0wind]

You're not awkward, probably just autistic (or ADHD plus autism). Okay, autists are often awkward as hell, but who cares? Embrace the awkwardness. And you can always work on some stuff like social skills. I did it, and I'm so so much better than I used to be a decade ago, or just a few years ago tbh.

[@impishlyit9780]

What do you mean? Few of these behaviors have anything to do with awkwardness, they're actually pretty normal.

[@mobius273]

This is that xkcd comic about the random person in nebraska running one project all of the internet's infrastructure is accidentally built on

[@Nabium]

Ok, I walk up stairs that way.... guess now I finally see how it looks like from the outside.

[@dkis8730]

Yeah it made me consider walking up stairs normally after 22 years lmfao

[@MoiraWillenov]

Guilty here to. I usually skip one or two steps.

[@lhpl]

BTDT. Nobody ever gave me a suitable T-shirt though. I speed-walked all around the building. Nowadays I guess I can say "I am too old for that shit." My only regret is that as a BOFH / SA, I didn't do the smart thing and hire a female PFY / student aid.

[@iam1smiley1]

I also love going down steps 2 at a time...anyone else?

[@UNSCPILOT]

I usually only go every second step, but yeah it's kinda funny to see from the outside

[@jacobist]

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

[@imark7777777]

hahahaha

[@je8z6x]

Prototype 🖤💯

[@briancase6180]

The taking three steps at a time is so spot on. 👏

[@john38825]

Some tiny ass stairs for people with big legs are super uncomfortable to walk up one step at a time.

[@smorrow]

Steps that are shorter than your fucking foot

[@scarritt]

For real though, my 6'4" ass hates taking stairs one at a time.

[@MichaelRainey]

Stairs on military bases are meant to be taken at cadence. They're so comfortable.

[@yall_raksha96]

And the contrary, big steps for short legged people that force you to climb one at a time if you want it or not :(

[@test4274]

That's why I work from home. So they creeps can't record me all day

[@XDarkGreyX]

Telemetry wishes to have a word with you

[@drishalballaney]

@@XDarkGreyX Linux wishes to have a word with you

[@hit3894]

You are the creep.

[@danielhortiguelaesturillo2677]

hahaha

[@Littlefighter1911]

@@drishalballaney Don't you have (the) Audacity to ask you about telemetry on your Linux Distro?

[@ShelleyBeans]

I've worked with someone exactly like this. Except during his lunch break he would go around to people's cubicles and play the ukulele and sing to them music that he wrote.l himself. Super hard working, and I always learned some random interesting / trivia-level facts each time I talked with him. One of the nicest guys I've ever worked with!

[@AubreyBarnard]

The coffee machine increasingly about to take off... 😂

[@AlexA-xs1wj]

Why do I feel personally attacked? I do everything this guy does lmfao. The wrist flick, skipping steps, staring at the coffee brewing, flipping canned drinks lmfao what is this

[@dr97236]

Common aspie traits. Welcome

[@AnonYmous-yu6hv]

Why do you walk like a bot?

[@vulpixelful]

get checked for carpal tunnel

[@Chappers.Gaming]

Oh you you feel personally attacked... Well in the uk they can be arrested for this and sent to 1-2 years in jail 😂

[@thoroughsix999]

It's the autism

[@SarahSayavong]

the increase in volume of the coffee machine overclocking is hilarious. 10/10 choice

[@bigmyke2008]

And he’s the nicest guy you’ve ever met

[@HellCat_Kenny]

At work, lol.

[@desu38]

yet, somehow, the people there still don't like him all that much

[@jl_117]

until he reviews your code…

[@minerharry]

bro the water bottle thing… and the drop… this is too real

[@X4Alpha4X]

where i work, our department which consists of 4 people keeps about 150 facilities running smoothly. If we all quit today, people would notice by lunch time tomorrow. By the time they realized we had actually quit so many locations would be so fucked up that id wager the company would be losing no less than $10,000 / day/ site. We cant get approval to hire a 5th person btw because 'well nothings on fire now is it?'

[@trollol_]

what bro is like after completing his first hello world tutorial

[@travelsizedlions]

Just imagine him after his second hello world tutorial

[@H.LeonideSouza]

In the company I work it is like this, I was a technician from the production team, and was promoted to be a technician on the development team since, quoting the production manager, " I was smart and weird, so I fit well with them". I do all these things in the video.

[@madeliner1682]

the best nuerodivergent spaces are ones that formed by accident lol

[@yoursnatchedwig2856]

And they still pay you 50k😂😂

[@KelbPanthera]

Yep. He's a little odd but your entire IT dept will implode if you fire him or get him to quit. Just let him be his quirky self and stay out of his way.

[@tiaanbasson9092]

Wait there are others like me? Even the stair climbing habit got nailed...

[@psibarpsi]

Nice to meet you 😄

[@LEMONCART]

Same, but not an engineer unfortunately, just autistic.

[@imaniba6168]

GEEK

[@hampuskullberg9932]

​@danielm3804 Apparently we should be called high functioning autism now adays. Seems like someone got offended about naming a group of individuals that have trains as a special interest after an Austrian Dr. active in the 1940's Germany ;)

[@BoomerangVillage]

​@@hampuskullberg9932That, and Americans couldn't stop calling it Ass-Burgers.

[@jonathanrendon1043]

That coffee machine is about to start a Resonance Cascade.

[@RiggityWRECKED]

Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman...

[@UNSCPILOT]

Only if he's not there, that's why he's so focused, his shear force of will prevents it from violating space-time

[@curious_one1156]

😂😂😂 Right Man at the wrong place can make all the difference

[@DoctorsSong]

He looks like a Sims character :watches him keep going back to the coffee macine: Yup defiantly a Sims character

[@UNDEREFFCT]

He is performing a fuzz buzz search algorithm to figure out where he should put his leg next

[@Mesigabe]

Reading documentation and contributing to documentation 😳, this guy’s a generational talent

[@Mamaisawake]

I like imagining a world that has companies that allow for neurodivergent workers to succeed and go about their day without adjusting to make the rest of the people feel more at ease. At least in the companies I’ve been at, you absolutely had to do the social thing or it would literally be in your performance review. I literally had a guy who would almost yell at me “Smile Angie!!!” as I walked in the office each morning 💀

[@je8z6x]

Build one💁💪

[@shaggy2367]

The coffee that secretly runs your engineer:

[@CordialBuffoon]

That guy staring at the coffee maker like a maniac while making coffee for the 5th time today is me

[@catalin3041]

He's also paid as junior and is the reason why everyone else doesn't get a raise. Is the every manager dream asset. I hate that guy 😂

[@diy1367]

lmao the "he can do it with this pay, why should we pay you more" they're either that person of foreign ethnicity who always try to "prove something", or just the typical engineering autists. Either way they have a rich background and money isn't their issue.

[@cherenkov_blue]

You should hate the company for not giving you raises, not the guy whose hard work goes unrewarded.

[@maybemablemaples2144]

​@@cherenkov_blue bingo

[@rwrunning1813]

Whose fault is it that he still gets paid as a junior?

[@Santor-]

Nah, us introverted dorks are paid well, as we never try to find other jobs, just wait until some incredible generous offer comes along.

[@erossenpai2884]

The only guy in the company I would willingly speak to.

[@jessn.2665]

lol as long as he’s nice and respectful, idgaf what kind of weird quirks he has😂

[@lashlarue7924]

i feel attacked.

[@baltazar3807]

Throwing random objects in the air while walking until you fuck up hit too close to home

[@BoomChockolaca]

But at the same time feel understood

[@yoeyyoey8937]

You guys run the company?

[@Shonicheck]

​@@yoeyyoey8937No, no i don't. I am just weird

[@eonneoncat88]

I feel too attacked. I did 90% of that on Friday with that exact same shirt

[@BOYVIRGO666]

the look of pained hate and boredom in a meeting is pretty on point for this type of engineer

[@je8z6x]

😂

[@xXFestaFiestaXx]

I was gonna ask where the toe shoes are but he's the kind that just whips his dogs out as soon as he hits his desk gotcha

[@kwooooo]

That’s auDHD, maybe with a secondary special interest in military or a background in the armed services. The hard, precise turns is specifically a military thing; my nephew has also got the autism + ADHD combo meal and he walks just like that because he was trained to. It’s one of the easiest ways to spot former military in public. And yes, he is also an engineer.

[@Vidasinvida]

“Autism+adhd combo meal” I love that 🤣🩷

[@YoungFang6170]

The dropping the thing is so perfect and pinpoint it’s crazy

[@sethaniel1]

Bro is pivoting in a military manner

[@superslayerguy]

I love the “nice” at the very end after they say they’re gonna fire everyone

[@chelseabunker2391]

😂😂 Engineers are wonderful quirky creatures that literally hold all the wisdom and keys ❤

[@dloewendmt]

Way too accurate to be a parody.