How I Am Denied Access To My First Born Son By His Toxic Mother - Sizwe Mdlalose

South African celebrity Sizwe Mdlalose's son's mother has denied him access from his son for 7 years, and it has brought Sizwe to attempt to take his life mutliple times. Parental alienation at its most hurtful.
The home of phenomenal conversations.
ENGINEER YOUR LIFE - EPISODE 136 - SIZWE MDLALOSE
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Executive Producer: Lungelo KM
Cinematography: Tino Media
Head of Content: Cikizwa Vilakazi
Content Producer: Kealeboga Ramafoko
Subtitles: Ndalo Zwane
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The content in this podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or substitute for specialized professional advice, including legal, financial, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard relevant professional advice based solely on the information presented in this podcast or channel. Furthermore, all opinions expressed by guests are their sole views and do not represent those of the channel or its holding company.
#engineeryourlife

[@EngineerYLShow]

TURN ON CAPTIONS FOR FULL ENGLISH SUBTITLES! A man who just wants a relationship with his son, but he is being denied by the mother. An emotional episode that will shift your perspective on why some say “Not All Men”. I’d appreciate if you’d subscribe, leave an encouraging comment and like this episode as we work towards 100k lives changed.

[@tondaniitani4244]

🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾

[@nompumelelongubane4807]

I swear you would never think that things like this happen. Sizwe is always laughing but his going through so much.

[@queenbeeeza1706]

“How’s your heart” what a profound question. Even I had to pause and think about it and realised I haven’t actually been quiet and listened to me.

[@namsb.5221]

I love how he goes, "uboy"! So endearing!! May God grant both of you (you and your boy) access to each other, and healing! You deserve each other's love!! Its also cute and warm how he speaks about his 'umama'! Keep at it sir!!

[@dorcushatlane9525]

Amen

[@liyemandwandwa7803]

The untold story of present fathers who are denied the presence to their kids💔😔ewu

[@hlelatuluma1494]

Mabaye ecourt and fight for their place in the child's life and not cry on podcasts.

[@IamBarati]

No such thing as a present father who doesn't live with his child. You can't be a father outside the house where your child lives

[@refilwemetsing]

@@hlelatuluma1494 did you hear the part he’s saying they’ve been to court?

[@refilwemetsing]

Tell me about it😢

[@hlelatuluma1494]

@ He must keep on fighting in court till he gets shared custody with her. Good luck to him

[@mandimg_1804]

Sizwe's final comment was so wise and powerful. ❤💯

[@Penuelism]

Lungelo, thank you very much for doing this work. It speaks to my heart. Too many good men are denied access to their children coz of evil women and evil maternal families. Courts favour women. Women need therapy Women need to heal Women need to to the right thing It's not by accident that most criminals are raised by single mothers... many of these women bleed on their children.

[@MommaBear52]

@@Penuelism I couldn't help but think about you when I watched this. You are always in my heart and I am hoping that your story will have a positive ending. Sending you lots of hugs and best wishes. Your older sis from 🇭🇲🇭🇲🐨🐨🦘🦘.

[@Penuelism]

@MommaBear52 thank you so much ❤️

[@MommaBear52]

@Penuelism You must bring the tribe to Gold Coast some day. Auntie will host all of them nephews and nieces😉😉😂😂😂.

[@queenbeeeza1706]

@@Penuelism Ai man labafazi bakhohlakele man no excuse to denying your baby daddy access to his child.

[@Penuelism]

@MommaBear52 whoop whoop 🔥

[@thobekamagubane1004]

This was so so emotional. My heart breaks for these two parents. I pray the Lord mends this family for the sake of this precious child, may this little boy be protected and shielded for any form of harm.

[@thandothango5217]

What a well spoken, compassionate gent bakithi.💔akaxole phela manje usisi acabangele ingane,ay. Well done on another great episode, Lungelo.

[@sukuncube8203]

Some of us just wish our child could get a phone call that says happy birthday from their father and we never get it….and yet here is a man crying for his child 😢

[@MommaBear52]

Imagine! Yah ne...heartbreaking.

[@kgotlelelotlaka1491]

You can say that again yoh ... this is so heartbreaking

[@NoluthandoMadlala-hm6og]

I was saying this exactly 😢. Just a phone call or a how was school? 😢

[@nomsandzabe384]

@@sukuncube8203 😭😭😭

[@MihlaliVundla]

Your boy will choose you one day as a parent ngoba uzokhula and decide for himself that he wants you to be in his life full time...uNkulunkulu uzokwenzela lokho just be still in prayer❤

[@SwazelihleMthalane]

@@MihlaliVundla most definitely, the child will show the mother flames when the table turns.

[@mphotoniamosotho3545]

Sizwe's story broke my heart 💔🥺 Parent Alienation Isn't Spoken About Enough.

[@MommaBear52]

💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯

[@Dee-Dee4959]

@@mphotoniamosotho3545 facts!

[@sne_maxulu]

Yooooh my heart 😔😭

[@ndumisondlovu9094]

I hope one day the boy sees this.

[@katmatlou]

He will but I can bet that the mother will find a way to change this story in her favor. 😢😢 Unfortunately, when the parents fight the children suffer. She will reap the rewards of her actions.

[@NoxoloMhlanga]

Oh Sizwe😭May you find strength in the Lord.. Don’t give up on yourself and your son.. One day he will grow up and watch all this videos, he will most def come back to you.. Sending you all the love and light my brother❤️

[@siphumlesiphumle5702]

Abantu besifazane bangcolile kodwa I feel Sizwe's pain, Us we are crying for the father's who don't want to be part of their children's life. I respect Sizwe❤ shame he tried and when lt doesn't work you leave it because sana he's losing himself in this process. So glad he found a woman who makes sure she reminds him all of this it's not his fault and he's a good man

[@portiapopane3086]

But mfwethu,why do you use plural? Not all women are dirty, your mother, gran & sisters are all women, ungakhohlwa

[@babygirl-m6r]

Size, I'm proud of you bro. I pray that your son comes back to you with no anger. I'm Soo emtional

[@ntabeenl]

This is so emotional, man must come up and tell their truth. Beautiful vlog

[@MommaBear52]

They need to. They really need to

[@sinothando-lusandamadlala6064]

Keep trusting God to fight for you... A boy child nje can never ever be split from his father even if it means he'll come of age azibuyele... Keep all the evidence of your fight for him... You're so wise kuzolunga

[@joey9876]

Even if he denied the child, let him step up and be a father to his child. My brother please go to family court and fight for your parental rights

[@Penuelism]

The courts can help... but how do you fix a toxic mother? He could win access but she'll still be angry and take it out on him and the child. Why can't she and her family do the right thing?

[@neomaletswa5455]

@@Penuelism vert true. The court can help but unfortunately he will still deal with the toxicity of the other parent and it's very daunting especially when they not willing to change. I wish him all the best 🙏

[@joey9876]

@Penuelism Get her arrested for not sticking to the parental agreement. Your relationship with your kids is important. It is unfortunate that the families fail to reprimand their daughters. There's nothing you can do about a bitter person, let them be sour on their own. A friend of mine got to celebrate Christmas with his daughter for the first time in 8 years, the daughter is 9. He made it clear that he is tired of being excluded from his daughter's life, that he will have her arrested if she doesn't stick to the agreement. The funny part about women is that they get to play happy families with their new boyfriends whilst denying biological fathers access.

[@hlelatuluma1494]

@ The focus is the child and not the toxic mother, hopefully, they will have a custody agreement in place and someone to mediate drop-offs and other specifics so that there is less interaction between them.

[@fikekhayakhethiwemasekofik9955]

But l think we also need to hear what the Baby mama has to say please bring her ❤❤

[@mvuselelozamarh5607]

Angeke Eze loyo Uyalazi iqiniso uhlanya nje la baby mama

[@khethukuthulamavuso2392]

I also think we need her side of story it's not make sure😢

[@nicetimeswithmymomandfamil6121]

Phola my brother, God will answer for you. Your song will touch areas you can't even imagine...keep the focus and move on one step at a time.

[@sizakelediya3872]

This is exactly what my sister is doing to his ex-husband, yena even worse he raised the child until she was 1 year old after she behaves exactly as this women so it does happened. It is not even about him, she has her demons that she need to deal with some of us live this world without healing those wound and blame other people for them and they have nothing to do with them. The child always suffer in all this, my niece luckily she is full aware of the story so when she is grown she will choose. A child first love is mom so when they grown sometimes they try to please everyone but later in stage they will get it.

[@PhumelelaWellington-yz1we]

Presenter u're the best interviewer,u speak less n let the guests speak more,big up🎉

[@luthandogertze4060]

i dont have a child but i can feel Sizwe pain , but all i'm gonna say is when me for through the most the world doesnt care

[@Nokuthula_Thuleey]

Yoh bandla😢😢 Hope in due time father and son will be reunited ❤❤

[@EricaXulu]

The cruelty of some women thou 😢😢 hope sizwe finds healing and strength to keep going God one day will take lead 🙏 ❤️

[@retsoamz]

Ngoba I Ladies house iyalenza iqiniso… so touched by your story….

[@tentrickspony8925]

The government has to make paternity dna testing mandatory at birth, its the only sure way to protect fatherhood.

[@Penuelism]

Most definitely. Especially for women who want child grants.

[@zuzuh5755]

Woow! What a touching episode.I didn't knew all these thimgs Sizwe is talking about,but I only saw Tiktok nasty comments.It's a lesson that we must never judge people without knowing their side of the story.Sizwe is a good man& father.Sometimes in life we must let it go,and stop punishing ourselves for the things we can't change. He did his part,now he must focus on himself & to his new little family. Women can be very toxic than men sometimes.All the best Sizwe.The most intelligent thing I ever heard is,when he said,he is preparing something for that boy,so that one day when he comes back,he will find something for him too.That was powerful.Angry men exclude those kids,but he doesn't ,woow. Thanx for this episode. Women stop this kind of demet you are doing,you are creating angry,toxic future men,cos you are toxic yourselves.. Thanx Lungelo😊.

[@khanyisileshabalala1170]

This is the sad story that most black kids go through. Kodwa ke your respect Sizwe is on another level, the way you speak about ugogo nomama, ayyy uJehova engathi angangenelela.

[@ayandiswazibi1824]

Inyembezi zakho ngeke ziwele phantsi Mfowethu 😮❤

[@mbalicindi2327]

😢😢😢 Im crying with you because im raising my baby on my own and I wish I had a baby daddy like you who genuinely wants to be present in their child’s life. I wish one day you get to have a relationship with your son. You are in my prayers

[@jmuhlava1543]

This boy will grow up 😢 bhudi your son will come back to your life.

[@mantelekhitsane8935]

Iyoh Sizwe bhuti 😢this is too deep, too painful 😢may God one day change this situation cz every kids deserve love from both parents 🙏🫂

[@ntsika_maweni]

Wishing uBhut' Sizwe strength during this difficult season🫂🫂🫂

[@phumlancumisa1776]

Boy will grow up and come to you and apologize , he will see the truth.💯be strong for him and your new born🤍

[@djhahps]

Thank you my brother. I am currently in a similar situation with my daughter and this episode has shun light to a very dark area in my life and Lungelo ngiyabonga for offering Sizwe the platform to air his beautiful yet touching life's story that not only resonates with him but a huge number of men out there. Sizwe, your last words of advise are what I have finally taken initiative from personally as of the previous month and so far it has been a painstakingly slow and hurtful but worth it journey and I finally get it... EYL Podcast you have earned yourself a member for life.

[@EngineerYLShow]

May our God who hears our cries heal your pain my brother and give you full restoration 🫂

[@RamaeselaMarySemu]

It is sad that children are used to deprive their father contact. Words that the child spoke are not from him, this child was coached to say those. This is called alienation, the child's mother is denying this child an opportunity to be a child😢she is not supporting his identity and emotional development, it is sad😢

[@hlelatuluma1494]

Mabaye ecourt and fight for their place in the child's life and not cry on podcasts

[@kholekamkhize4264]

@@hlelatuluma1494 EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! The notion that women are always favored in court needs to be reconsidered. The justice system is actually quite fair to fathers who are genuinely committed to being a part of their children’s lives, especially when the father is the one who takes the initiative to open the case. It's time to take action and show up for your child.

[@JezzySH]

😢 May you find strength in the Lord my brother

[@siphokaziluzipho4197]

What a decent guy..... May you always be blessed ndoda. Your child will remember your love, he will believe you. Be assured.

[@Cuselihle]

Yoooo Kwaze kwabuhlungu,yazi obaba abangenandaba nezingane bayafuqwa ngazo,laba abafuna ukuba sempilweni yezingane zabo abavunyelwa😢😢😢😢

[@ZikhonaGqeba]

My baby daddy its been 11 years now without seeing his son, he doesn't do anything for him😢, this is rare but one day your son will know the truth, okumnandi family yakhabo mama have witness your truth.

[@jacobethnday6700]

God sees your heart and he will reward you and your son will be on your side . Heal brother you will be fine

[@ruthmsebele161]

Sizwe ukwenzile konke my brother let it go now before this thing kills you..ubaby mama uzokudinga ngenye imini naye uboy usezomtshela amaqiniso ukuthi kunjenje mama nguwe owangihlukanisa nobaba..all the best my brother✌

[@TebogoLloyd]

Thank you for loading this episode 📺i just saw The topic and i deep in because the story is so painful😢😢

[@bofelomorwe8859]

This guy’s voice sounds so much like Mampintsha’s

[@Vusoh]

Ngaze ngakhala💔😭😭😭😭but I learn since ngisawumuntu wesfazane ongakobi nangane..u re strong bhut Sizwe Thixo akuqinise akusize ugcine u ryt nengane yakho nibe ne Connection..God bless u🙏🫂

[@Kamogelo-Karabo]

Women are powerful kwi system moes🙁. What a bad time to be a man in South Africa.

[@zanelekubeka9369]

Eish this broke me😢 Growing without a father is hard enough, it's too painful when fathers who want to be supportive are restricted.

[@mbalimshibe]

😢OH ngaze ngaphuka Sizwe m so sorry for such a painful experience I wish she can understand the damage 💔 she is doing to the child more than to you .........one day its the very same child will resent her but I pray for God to come thru.

[@sithabilekhomo5364]

In life usually the buble ones are the most fragile and sensitive ones Sizwe is the best example.

[@slindiletsabedze4088]

I want to comment but I just keep on crying 😭😭😭 because as a single mother I would love for my son to have such a caring father

[@deborasibuie5860]

Oh Sizwe, I am sorry for the pain you are going through because of this matter. You are in our prayers for you to finally be reunited with your child🙏. Sorry man😥

[@MihlaliVundla]

Sizwe you are genuinely a great individual you will get your son one day even if God turns him to turn against his mom ngokukuncisha ithuba lokukhulisa ingane yakho. Your 1st baby mama is a vile human being inkinga uyena not you...keep praying and trust God ukuthi uzokunqobela

[@PriscillaLindiweMahlangu]

I have learn a lot from this episode. Yoooooo😢😢😢😢😢

[@musaking7494]

Painful story 🥺😢 some women are heartless, stay strong bafo 🙏🏾 hope one day you will get to be with your son

[@ongeziwemjungula1282]

This guy is such an amazing father ❤

[@thobekimdlodlo8132]

So much pain 😢😢i hope you heal Sizwe kuzalunga qhina bhuti ❤❤❤

[@jabuncwane810]

This episode really broke me😢😢

[@phumlancumisa1776]

some women are so mean and Cruel💔

[@phumlanisolomon3999]

I get sometimes that some women became resentful especially when they get pregnant young usually men go on with their lives and they might feel left out. They became so angry and want to make your life miserable ending up using the child. Very sad

[@nokuthulamthimkhulu6632]

Ungasalwi manje, Give it to God for He will fight for you. Ezakho izinyembezi zizokulwela aziweli phansi😢😢😢

[@GcinileMaseko-i2q]

Thanks to your supportive partner may God bless her uyakha akabhidlizi

[@jabuncwane810]

Iztori ezikanje zingenza very emotional 😢

[@GhostedLadyMzansi]

Lungelo you are doing so well my guy,keep it up❤ Oh poor Sizwe😢

[@Mamjoliomhle]

As a future mother, I’ve learned that once a child is created by two partners, it’s crucial to avoid using bitterness in conflicts. If differences occur, it’s wrong to involve the child or bully the father. The child should not be a pawn in any disputes. Sending love to Sizwe❤

[@YourHonour]

😢May the Lord heal you and help you

[@MillisentMekeni]

You're one special father🎉🎉❤

[@noxzienocturnal4544]

What I know is that men like Sizwe tend to suffer from amnesia once they start wanting to be in their child's life and they pick and choose what they forget. Oh, and njengoba ekhala kanje, he wholeheartedly believes in his version of events and genuinely doesn't think there was a point him and his family did anything wrong towards that woman. I would have been more inclined to believe him had he taken some accountability and acknowledged his part in how things turned out but all he did was just blame that poor woman. Sometimes all it takes to fix this is admitting your wrongs and acknowledging the hurt you caused while you were young and stupid. You didn't have a father to teach you how to be a man and were bound to make these mistakes. Uyibhimbi Sizwe shem. He can talk but doesn't know how to use his words.

[@sibongilentuli-u3x]

❤Yoh wat an emotional story yah women they really don't know what they want indeed i am so proud of you sizwe dont worry unkulunkulu uzokwenza kwenzeke futhi uzokhohlwa uzobuya uboy

[@africanstories-o8d]

Yoh ibuhlungu lento lentombazane eyenzayo ku SIZWE, nami ngavele ngakhala!😭😭

[@pinkyradebe9037]

Ay 😭😭😭😭

[@ZonkeSibiya-du9zo]

Sizwe mmmm yaze yabuhlungu inkulumo yakho bhuti😭😭😭😭

[@rofhiwamasibigiri2665]

It's a pity that fathers who want to be fathers are denied access, and those who are not interested at all, mothers and kids have to fight for the fathers to be involved, kunzima

[@lihleigama]

I am glad uBoy will get a chance to watch this and know the truth.

[@emaransat3972]

This story is so painful, even more painful for the child who doesn’t know the whole truth 😢

[@b_Mandisa]

He tried shame🥹💔 kids grow up & they get to learn the truth, your son will come looking for you 🤞🏽 but eyyy DNA baba

[@MatshelisoJeff-z7n]

Yazi DNA

[@nonkosimarcia8714]

Our justice system has failed our brothers for so long, the leniency shown to women instead is just unfair. Ncese Sizwe, don’t stop fighting for custody of u child, that’s ur right by law

[@MommaBear52]

I agree with you 🎯🎯. Courts do not care about the kids at all. Every parent has a right to the child. But somehow a lot of women always think they have more right than the father. A father should NEVER have to fight for access. It should never be a fight, coz that's his child too.

[@noxolosithole9140]

What a sad story eish. I hope kuzolunga one day.

[@kholekamkhize4264]

Men really need to man the f up. How do you allow someone who is bitter and angry to keep you away from your child. Fight for your child, go to court, involve the police, this is your flesh and blood. It's not easy yes, it's emotionally draining but don't just give up. And this whole thing of saying women are always favored in court needs to stop. The justice system is actually quite fair to fathers who are honestly willing to be a part of their kids life especially if it's the man who opens the case.

[@thandekatanase2410]

Im so sorry bhuti 😢 May God be with you❤

[@domescribblez]

May “Boy” one day come across this video, that will be the day he hears your side of the story and hopefully it clears your name in his eyes

[@alutajimta6395]

Powerful advice bhut Sizwe Thank you

[@mpoomzadube1429]

What a sad story 💔 i hope uBoy uma esekhulile will look for his father bakith

[@bonganinxumalo9439]

Very emotional.. many of us as men can relate, may Jah be with you mfethu

[@khanyicele3688]

Izokhula Sizwe ingane izizele yona kuwena. Nalama videos izowabona.

[@nankululekofavourite]

😭😭😭I'm literally in tears jtooo this is so hard

[@ellenormthembu]

My brother is in the same situation. He’s maintaining the child financially kodwa no access to the child,the last time he saw the baby was on the day she was born. Been 3 years now but ke….

[@matimbabaloyi2585]

Ask your brother to the child for DNA test

[@ellenormthembu]

@@matimbabaloyi2585 DNA was done an the child it’s his

[@NoziphoHappiness-mk2sb]

Your brother must go to children's court they will assist him very well

[@ellenormthembu]

@ ok Thanks at least we still have that option because he’s on the verge of giving up

[@princelukele9119]

It is so hard being a good man in this day and age

[@BawinileMarawule]

Yoooooh sorry Sizwe God will heal your wounds😢

[@everydayissueswithlancy8582]

So touching Sizwe 😢

[@thabi_a]

Women....... Abafazi....... Fear us. Masesizibopha izinhliziyo. We become the devil himself🤞

[@shesatthereandprayed4224]

@@thabi_a I have been saying this ! Its very sad that from nurtures we became the pain givers for free !

[@slenderk21]

As my mom would say "ingae iyakhula.izobona"

[@MommaBear52]

You mum is right!!!! We all grew up and got to see the truth. It becomes even more real when you start having your own challenges in adulthood. If it's a character thing, it will extend to you. For instance, if either parent is manipulative, they will manipulate the kids even when they are adults. It's easy to manipulate a child, than it is an adult. When adult kids see the truth, they start to extend grace to the parent who was vilified and misrepresented. Then things start to unravel at that point. It is always unfortunate when the truth comes out and the other parent has departed this world. In that instance, children then go through secondary trauma bcos they do not have an opportunity to have conversations to get clarity and closure. I used to work in a forensic psychiatric institution. I dealt with so many people with such stories. It was heartbreaking. Till today, those stories still play in my mind like a 3D movie. If only parents could see the destruction that they cause. They sow trans-generational trauma everyday. Because those broken individuals go on to have children. The trauma cycle repeats over and over! 😢😢😢

[@slenderk21]

@MommaBear52 it's sad reality.I have 3 kids and things I'm experiencing with my baby daddies(financially)akukho mnandi shame but never in one day did I ever denied them the excess to see their kids.just last week 1 of the baby daddy cut of my daughter just cause I asked for transport money,he said he want out,and there are dads like abo Sizwe dying to be with their kids.

[@MommaBear52]

@@slenderk21 That is very sad. Your mum's words still stand hun. There is always a way. Your babies will grow up and see for themselves. May God continue to bless you financially sis. 💖💖💖💖

[@slenderk21]

@MommaBear52 thank you 🙏

[@syabongamhayise2255]

Wise word's by ugogo * spend time nomtanakho noma imali ingekho*

[@judyphala5235]

I would like to hear the other side of the story 😢

[@NtlanuNogaga]

@@judyphala5235 You are me, I believe in both sides of the story Sana.

[@kholekamkhize4264]

Same here.

[@nombusophumelelewendy2906]

@@judyphala5235 me too and i feel like akukhona ukuthuswa ukuba famous kwa sizwe Maybe Sizwe was not emotionally available during pregnant

[@iAMkingdom-y4q]

This is what men often preach and get dismissed. Both sides of the story must always be heard. No matter who is crying

[@khanyicele3688]

Izokhula Sizwe ingane,izizele yona kuwena. And izowabona wonke lama videos.

[@bmshik]

We need to be better people guys no ways.

[@SihleSibulali]

Uyamthsnda uthixo lomjita ❤️yeses tht is esazohlala ephumelela

[@londyhadebe6957]

This has to be one heart breaking video 😢kanti guys umuntu wesifazane uyakwazi ukuba mubi kanje 😮,sizwe bhuti Ncese mfe2 Ncese kakhulu May The Good Lord Continuously heal you and may he continuously give you strength to keep going aphinde akwenzele umusa to reunite you with your son you deserve that ,syabonga bhuti nobuhlakani nje onabo to prepare for your son engekho nawe manje but you preparing for his return one day honestly that has to be the wisest thing to do angazi kuningi nje okuhle engakusho But nje ngyathanda ukusho ukuthi syabonga ukubona ubaba osazisele ngokuba khona empilweni yomtwana wakhe ❤uthole bhuti

[@Wandilicious18]

Yhoo this is painful Sizwe😢😢

[@jmuhlava1543]

Sorry lm in tears 😢😢😢😢😢

[@boikanyoboikanyo5255]

This women is so cruel yerrr😢 but don’t worry Sizwe ngelinye ilange uBoy uyobiza uMa wakhe nge slwane

[@silindilemadlala2583]

Hurt people hurt people...usisi really needs to heal for the sake of her child ngoba izolimala ngempela lengane.