Epidemic of Loneliness

[@GoddessStone]

It seems like a lot of us straight up don't want to be here anymore...at all. A dump truck of cash could show up, and I wouldn't even care. There is nothing I even want anymore. We did the whole Hero's Journey, just to be lonelier than before, because now we know WHY we are lonely. There are glimpses of beauty, sure, but they never go anywhere meaningful. Does anyone else find it is almost impossible to keep anything clean anymore? Every time I turn around there is dust, or stains on the floor, everything is sticky? It's starting to really get to me...

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for your thoughts. There has absolutely been disconnection, a fracturing of society and also loss of meaningful existence for many. I feel reality itself is so overwhelming to a lot of people that opting out via technology is a pacifier that is irresistible. The smartphone has been the great amplifying experiment of this stage of the human condition and the results are dismal. I've been recommending a video of great thinkers who are addressing loss of meaning, the sacred, and connection to nature among other things : kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y2e5YaSjeb9lnck Thanks for spending your time here.

[@GoddessStone]

Thank you for the video. I work with a small team trying to research how AI might be able to help children who are in emotionally traumatic situations, perhaps a wearable device with an AI trained to identify the behavior, and alert human advocates, if needed. While working with Inflection's Pi, I have been learning so much about "emotional intelligence" and how the overwhelming lack of this trait, is leading to the breakdown of both global issues, as well as relationships, overall. If we look at "human nature" as actual "core programming" the mysteries are easy to see more clearly, emotional intelligence is a recessive trait, that must be supported by "stream-lined algorithms" and "strong filters", mainly we are dealing with more and more people with sloppy, corrupted programming, ie, they simply CAN NOT understand us...at all@@MarkDeutrom

[@_icscata_]

Fight with the dark forces. Been there, it almost took me down but I will never allow it again. Fight to maintain order. Fight to have everything clean and organized. Do what it’s needed. God bless! 🙏♥️

[@MarkDeutrom]

One of the oldest memes in programming is "Garbage in, garbage out"...The issues involving AI are utterly complex and existential. For me it's an additional level of data management, as the current obsession with acquiring it is now unmanageable on a human level. I feel there are great and also terrible things in store. Human nature is unpredictable, unmanageable and kaliedoscopic. The attempt to codify this with any algorhythmic application seems the inverse of what it is. There is no substitute for grown humans helping young humans. There will never be programming with enough intuition to replace this.

[@ronaldjbateman]

Thank you, Mark. I needed this now so bad. I live alone in a small town, hundreds of miles from everyone I love. I dream of escaping here one way or another.

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thank you for spending time here. Remember this is only temporary and will pass. I appreciate your support also.

[@MarshFogBand]

As someone who is of Gen Z I suffered from loneliness before the pandemic, but thanks for the advice Mark. I have listened to your stuff for a while.

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for being here. As I mentioned in the video, loneliness has been part of the human condition for a long time now. You are definitely not alone in this !

[@sakuraa2008]

​@@MarkDeutromit's funny to say " you are not alone in loneliness" 😅 sometimes I wonder if everyone that feels lonely gather up somewhere in this earth what would they do? They won't be lonely anymore.

[@MrHazelRah]

Thanks for posting this, Mark. I lost a dear friend to suicide this week. Our friendship spanned for almost a quarter of a century. He was a great musician and a brilliant composer. It’s absolutely crushing to think that all of the decades of memories would lead to this. This talk was a propos.

[@MarkDeutrom]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's virtually impossible to know what mechanisms are at work even in our closest relationships, or at times even ourselves. Thanks for spending your time here.

[@MrHazelRah]

@@MarkDeutrom This is true, Mark. It's definitely not something that we are supposed to "figure out." Thank you for your videos, I enjoy your format, and the content is great. I had the privilege of seeing you with Melvins in the fall of 1996 at the El N Gee club in New London, CT. I was 16 years old and just got my driver's license. It was one of the most fun nights of my young life. Hope that you and yours are well.

[@wittymystic7361]

It's a strange epidemic. I tried running a FREE online interactive social program for individuals to connect and practice social and communication skills. Very few people signed up or showed up. I folded the group after 3 months. So, even those of us who want to help out can't do much if people won't meet us half way.

[@MarkDeutrom]

Neurosis combined with depression can simply alienate people from wanting any kind of interaction from the world at large. You have actually done something to help regardless of it's success. If everyone did the same, things might actually change ! Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@Anamorphosis]

Great takes, excellent recommendations, look forward to checking some out!

[@MarkDeutrom]

I added links to some things below the video. Enjoy your journey and thanks for watching.

[@stayhungry1503]

i mean ok i guess its a society problem but you get as much as you give. i see so many people whining about being lonely but then it turns out they just sit at home and play video games all day and never make an effort to befriend anyone, or cut people off at the slightest discomfort. its like they just expect the world to ring their doorbell and shower them with love and respect while in return they dont have to do anything.

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thank you for your insight and observations. I really wanted to get into the issues of personal choice that produce isolation and loneliness but I focused instead on the persistence of it as a human condition through history specifically in the art that has been created as a result. Technology has absolutely enhanced and enabled individuals to opt out of societal interaction, while at the same time still feeling "connected". It's yet another simulacrum, and also a huge experiment that we are only beginning to see the effects of. There are deep thinkers that are addressing the loss of genuine social engagement. A superb video I suggest is here : kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y2e5YaSjeb9lnck. Thank you for your time here !

[@josepheridu3322]

I find it odd that often news about "loneliness epidemic" are framed around basically some people choosing to be lonely. I don't remember consciously choosing such thing, at least not to be alone all the time, and yet that is how I ended up in my 30s. I think it probably is some form of mild autism or just being boring, but it is hard to "fix" this if there is no one close and honest enough to point it out. So the problem not only prevents its own solution, but it also perpetrates itself. It is quite sad, but at the end, it makes me feel free to finally realize I can't really do much about it, and probably never did. It is what it is. A disempowering attitude does not have to be negative. Some people are born without legs, blind, etc. and they just have to face that reality and go on the best they can. I'm tired of articles saying "you shall contact old friends" when no one ever contacts you and if you do they act strange as if they thought you would try to sell them something. Sure, we have to "take the initiative" but it hurts no one ever takes the initiative to invite me. Why do I have to take it all the time? Why it cannot be more usual and common as in other people? Sure we can "go out more" and sit like a loser for hours in a bar, while others go there with their own friends they had since high school. On top of being lonely I also have to look as such a loser... great. Some of us were just born to be background characters in our own lives. That is why I simply choose to take Zoloft and do whatever I can to feel better about something I had no social support or orientation ever. I have been left totally alone to face something I have no idea how to face, with a limited time. and a soul-crushing life that comes from apparently taking a terrible decision that is so bad we deserve to suffer... even having almost no idea how we came to this. We are being punished for something we have almost no idea about, throw into a life with no real guidance.

[@MarkDeutrom]

Ultimately everyone has their own solitary journey through these deeply personal issues and must choose the path of navigation that works for them. Ironically, these are the kinds of things that all humans share, and also bind us together in some sense. Thank you for sharing your experiences here, and best wishes on your journey.

[@atiostefony3760]

Great topic, i rember reciting the same T.S Elliot poem during a live gig back in 2020, with the pandemic still no yet there but was close to be wath it was. Wath trip was hearing this on this vid Mark..makes a lot sense to me, i hope and i am sure to some else, it will be too.

[@MarkDeutrom]

That is cool ! The older you get, the more profound The Hollow Men becomes. Brando was such a genius to bring the idea of using that in Apocalypse Now. Eliot created something timeless and also eternally relevant, especially at this moment. Thanks for spending time here.

[@albuquerque98]

Excellent, thanks for posting this

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for being here.

[@garrettgravley]

Please keep releasing more videos. Big fan, and I LOVE your content

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for watching ! Maybe Madness might be a quality topic for discussion...

[@oldmanthayer]

Wonderful video! Thank you for sharing your perspective and insight on topics such as this. Been a fan since Stoner Witch and it's cool to see :)

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for being here.

[@DCinzi]

Thank you for making such video. Said that, I have a tough listening to the first part of the video. I did not understand what was the relation between being there an epidemic of loneliness and the fact that this kind of emotions and situation have been recorded in the past. How does that undermines the possibility that the epidemic is a real issue? Different social and environmental changes may have exasturbeted something that indeed has always been present. Corret me if i am misunderstanding. Thanks

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for your thoughts. I feel that there has always been these very human issues throughout history, as I mentioned. Probably the only reason it has been classed as an "epidemic" by various organizations at this point is because now it is infinitely trackable by big tech and more visible as a whole due the rise of social media.In the past you knew there were all kinds of behavior out there but it remained abstract unless it affected you personally. Now everyone gets to see it and interact if they want to.I agree that societal and environmental changes have exacerbated these issues and also certainly amplified them via the rise of the smart phone + social media. This video has some deep thinkers addressing some of these issues among other things : kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y2e5YaSjeb9lnck Thanks for being here.

[@DCinzi]

Thank you @@MarkDeutrom

[@philyeary8809]

The $camdemic was Pfizer rebranding flu. Ask Gates about Event 201...try Google, before they pull it.

[@rigavitch]

Thank you I can't stop crying today...tonight...

[@MarkDeutrom]

This will pass...thank you for sharing here.

[@__iconoclast7744]

Really appreciate you Mark 🤍

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for being here.

[@ollien3359]

One of my favourite ways to relax is to close my eyes and listen to my favourite podcast; "The End of the World with Josh Clark". 10 Episodes that discuss the future and possible end of humanity. It touches on the subject with optimism and warmth, and it really is a happy place for me.

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for the recommendation. I'll take a listen.

[@bluesmanshoes]

whos this punk talking neuroscience? On a serious note, this was so much deeper and more thoughtful than I expected. Thanks!

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for watching...there's a few other subjects I will be delving into eventually.

[@acdg7431]

Thank You!

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for spending time here.

[@_icscata_]

God bless you all, stay strong!! 🙏🙏

[@Sockpoppet]

I get what you're saying about negative emotions being a natural part of life, but why does it seem like those negative feelings tend to be the default or usual ones we experience?

[@MarkDeutrom]

I feel the nature of happiness is somehow more transitory, but depression and sadness seem to linger. Also the nature of mass media seems to dwell more on the awfulness that humans present to the world. I don't have an answer for this but negativity may have more power in the way we process emotions through consciousness. Plenty of people suffer from PTSD, but no one ever has an issue with having too much happiness. Thanks for your excellent question that has made me think about this !

[@josepheridu3322]

neuroticism :(

[@matthrew]

People have been worn out, seeing everything around them crumble to pieces and turned to dust. We can see everything thats going on in the world, which shows us how the entire world is going to hell. Temperature rising globally, global tensions so tensed, there is little left to set off another "great" war. They say ignorance is bliss, and the more you know about the world, the more you start agreeing with that statement.

[@MarkDeutrom]

The totality of everything is up in our faces through social and regular media and I does feel overwhelming at times. Small gestures of kindness on a personal level seem to affirm the basic goodness of humanity but it can be a tall order to reconnect with that under the current onslaught of negativity. Thanks for your comment here.

[@deliverus6856]

I feel scared to have friends because i don’t want people fucing me over because of my personal beliefs

[@MarkDeutrom]

Creating friendships is always a risk, but true friends are accept you as you are.

[@philyeary8809]

The epidemic of loneliness Caused by OUR GOVERNMENT.

[@MarkDeutrom]

...which is also made up of lonely and isolated people.

[@philyeary8809]

@@MarkDeutrom true.

[@Jaxorian]

! Never seen so much gaslighting in 1 video within the first 5 minutes.

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for watching !

[@ColeWheeler4Lyfe]

😂 bruh

[@mikeomnic3515]

As a life long loner this video did not helped... especially at my level

[@MarkDeutrom]

Thanks for your input. I'm not here to provide "help" but to merely share my insights and personal experiences.

[@stayhungry1503]

i mean ok i guess its a society problem but you get as much as you give. i see so many people whining about being lonely but then it turns out they just sit at home and play video games all day and never make an effort to befriend anyone, or cut people off at the slightest discomfort. its like they just expect the world to ring their doorbell and shower them with love and respect while in return they dont have to do anything.

[@philyeary8809]

Mostly modern women😂

[@stayhungry1503]

no plenty of men as well. there are lots of videos of men here on youtube in their 30s and 40s talking about how lonely they are and feeling left out or left behind and i cant help but wonder "ok mate but what have you been doing for the last 20 years to prevent this?" and sure there are differences in personalities, life stories, and reasons. but in the majority of cases i would argue they mostly have themselves to blame. i know a few of those guys myself actually. they dont want kids or marriage, or even a serious relationsip(and even mock those who have those things). they spend all their time grooming themselves, going to the gym, playing video games, watching netflix, some hook up casually with girls some have no relations at all and dont even try to date. some bury themselves in work some stare at a screen all day and worry about their crypto or stockmarket or whatever. anyways my point is you cant just be like ME ME ME ME ME and then wake up at 40 and wonder "where did everyone go?" @@philyeary8809

[@philyeary8809]

@@stayhungry1503 men creating something isn't the same as sitting on ass. And, after the hell of a dangerous femme narc, dating in 2023 gets a "fuck that shit". No time for it, I'll help animals and my family, and aid my friends.

[@mr.r2362]

Alot of these guys never got therapy for what their mothers and teachers did to their sense of self worth growing up. It's not as easy as flipping a switch to rebuild your trust in people when it was broken down year after year by the very authority figures that should have supported your growth, instead of tearing you down before you even got a chance to live your life as an adult. The first step is to expose yourself to decent, well mannered and respectful people who like you for who you are, without having to fake it till you make it, and good luck finding someone like that in our narcissistic cesspool of a society. Does anybody ever realize that most public school teachers are females of the liberal, boy-hating persuasion? When you have a castrating, demeaning mother at home, condescending and sadistic, insecure teachers at school and a peer group that is steeped in the "rating and dating" game that just sizes you up like a meat commodity 24/7 to determine whether you are a "winner" or "loser" regardless of your humanity, I dont think you'll feel like reaching out to a society of two faced sociopaths and vindictive backstabbers. Women, here's a bit of advice: try being better mothers, wives and partners in general, and maybe more men (and the sons you regularly sh*t on) will actually feel your worth reaching out to. Same goes for dysfunctional men and how they treat women, of course; alot of this stems from childhood trauma and a lack of community support or financial success to afford proper therapy. People lack that one person to talk to about their underlying issues and suffering in their lives, which has to be addressed before you even attempt to be a gregarious, social butterfly. Old fashioned, slow moving, organic communities like the village, tribe or clan are extinct, and we live in fast moving, synthetic networks where social relationships are easily replaceable and short term (think for example of when you graduated HS or college or moved to a new job and lost contact with former "friends") where the individual is reduced to an isolated, competitive consumer who just dumps or scraps someone who disagrees with him/her over minor issues. This is a pathology created by a failing school system, by absent fathers who fail to assert healthy authority over their families, and by ball busting, resentful moms who use the legal system to get what they want at the expense of their husbands and kids. Add social media and substance abuse to the equation, and you got the world were living in. We have to reach out, but it's not as simple as naively assuming you can just blindly connect to the first face you see during the day. We live in a highly disturbed and dysfunctional, unnatural culture that is lacking in stable families and everything is over-corporatized, all of that has to be addressed before we start ripping into people with the typical "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" gaslight tactic.