Episode 24: Poly/Mono Relationships

[@eunicepak9598]

Thanks so much for this video!! It was so wonderful to find such a helpful resource that covers so many things that have been on my mind.

[@empoweredpoly]

So glad you feel that way!

[@1SaraB]

Doing some work on myself & my relationships. Great information & reminders. Thank you!!!

[@empoweredpoly]

So happy you found it helpful! Reach out if you need anything.

[@ILLYMUSE]

Very valuable information. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable with such a different type of lifestyle.

[@empoweredpoly]

You are so welcome! I'm so glad you found it helpful! Leanne

[@twinsoultarot473]

I just think it's simply cool that you're opening up your relationship right here in front of everybody on camera so people can get a first-hand look at the dynamics of your relationship and how polyamory fits into that model. The goal and what? I believe that human beings really want and are built for is a long, loving, committed relationship with one or two people. I'm not opposed to more but I think at that point it's going to be hard to handle.

[@empoweredpoly]

Thanks so much! It is a pretty vulnerable thing to do so it's really great to hear that you see it that way.❤

[@PetParadiseVB]

I am a man with a wife who is polly (like me), and a mono serious girlfriend. Works with work from all ends and us meeting and loving eachother where we each are at.

[@lordofjorge]

I am very new to it , how does your time management work?

[@wanderingtraveler1769]

Thank you so much for this video, it's the first one of yours I've seen but it spoke to so many things I've been feeling in my relationship.

[@empoweredpoly]

That's so wonderful to know - thanks for sharing! Please subscribe! Are you the poly or mono partner or are you in a relationship currently?

[@HeatherMarie8888]

Polyhombing isn't just a shock, it hurts. It is appropriate for monogamous people to feel hurt.

[@empoweredpoly]

Absolutely! We work with many monogamous partners who have had this experience. We certainly don't mean to give the impression that it doesn't hurt.

[@rnbsteenstar]

It absolutely is valid. That's why I'm up front about it right away.

[@ditchlily7361]

I truly think this works for like almost 0 percent of people. Anecdotally I’ve never seen it work, and have seen it leave trails of damage and pain behind in my friends and in my community, personally. Idk, it’s weird to defend when, like your friend has observed, there are so many examples of it not working and also hurting people

[@empoweredpoly]

I'm sorry that's been your experience. I've worked with clients and also known individuals who did this well. Others not so much. I think it takes a lot of willingness and really depends on the individuals involved and their value system.

[@richardrose7382]

I’m surprised that more baby-boomers aren’t forming more communes; these were the folks who had these back up n the day. A lot of communes broke up because of either jealousy or sexual tension. As older citizens, sex at least, is less important…so perhaps communes would work better. Sharing the costs of housing and emotional support is still important

[@debbiecompton5175]

I am poly and my husband is mono. I have two other men that identify as mono but love being in the relationship we have created. Everyone is happy and we all get along wonderfully. We have a very happy family. I will marry the other two men very soon. Changing the law NOW!! My men are always sweet and stress free because none of us have to work hard anymore to have everything we want in life. We even enjoy taking vacations together. The men have all become best friends. No jealousy or tension. It's a wonderful life.

[@Benzlisting]

@@debbiecompton5175amazing . I hope this in the future with my nesting partner.. obviously nothing being forced or unnatural but this is the dream

[@Ss-dz6cm]

I would just say that there are people who are truly monogomous who havent done serial monogomy. We had never even been on a date with anyone else. First kisses, first everything. How do I as the mono half wrap my head around our sexuality as not being sacred or exclusive when for our entire lives from 16 to 38 it was? Every single sexual experience in our lives was shared. We tried doing it together, but that didn't work out well with one person who is really monogamous. But pandora's box has been opened and cant be closed for the other half.

[@empoweredpoly]

That's going to be more challenging for sure. However, I have worked with couples to open up to become mono/poly who were in the same position. I would encourage you to reach out to us for coaching to help you make this transition most effectively. [e-mail] or [e-mail]. Doing this on your own without support and guidance from us or another coach/counselor will probably lead to issues. It's complex, and it will take some work, but in my experience, it can be done if you want it and are willing. Leanne

[@mad1739]

Thanks so much for this video! I'm in a really tricky situation atm where im discovering that polyamorous is likely what i need to live my most authentic self but im with a partner who i can assume (theres always room for error of course) is a strictly monogamous person and i love him dearly. Add onto that the fact im currently not living with him but abroad in my van travelling and its just a lot to process and work out how to move forward with!

[@empoweredpoly]

I'm glad the episode resonated with you. I'm sorry that your situation is challenging. Feel free to reach out if you would like some coaching. It's risky both to embrace your true self and bring that knowledge to your partner, and it's risky not to embrace your true self. I know. From experience. Leanne❤

[@mad1739]

@empoweredpoly Thank you! I will certainly consider and look into it. I also have ADHD so struggle to listen to intuition because my brain has a way of clinging onto things for a few weeks before moving onto the next shiny thing. I don't want to make any life-changing decisions before I give myself a bit more time to digest it 😊 in the mean-time I will bingewatch your podcast! :P

[@empoweredpoly]

@@mad1739 That's excellent self awareness! I always encourage people to take their time. So good for you!🙏

[@susandavis903]

Can you maintain long term stability where 1 is poly & the other remains mono? We’ve been married for decades. He is loving his poly relationships with younger women, but I’m post menopausal and have no interest in sex/dating. …..

[@empoweredpoly]

Absolutely you can and I've seen it happen. Consider that historically, people who had higher sexual needs than their partners (women in their sexual prime who had married older men for example) frequently "took a lover" - or a few. That way they could remain married (sometimes because they truly loved their spouse) and have those needs met.