Essential Boundaries For People In Early Recovery

During early recovery, both the individual and the family are in a very fragile state. There has typically been a long history of trust and boundary violations ON BOTH SIDES! This video explores boundaries from both sides (the person in early recovery and their family members). Developing a healthy system of boundaries will help everyone avoid relapse and make things go much smoother!
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[@Fiery154]

I feel I have a really good and Helpful boundary today. Hub with AUD, is catastrophising about visiting his parents and a family reunion. He has a bout of depression right now and a new medication. He had said that we would make a decision about going on Wednesday. I held him to that Wise decision! His Decision, His Wisdom, his wild emotions. We just won’t worry about it yet! Just like he said. I think it calmed the situation.

[@mymothertodd3973]

Thank you for this. I started to go sober, was going well for 2 weeks and then blew it at an event. Too much too soon I think. Felt overwhelmed with guilt, but after finding your Channel it’s really helped me get my stuff together and get back to my plan. Thank you

[@PutTheShovelDown]

You got this!

[@lynyeliga5251]

Pull up you pants. Start the next day , your yes day. U did good , you survived, now start a new day, we are not robots, we have emotions, stay well.

[@Skoopyghost]

I had a relapse after a year of being sober. I got 153 days again. Relapses is the illness. You pick yourself, and you try again until you get it.

[@TheNmv2728]

Keep trying

[@MichelleFarrismft]

I love how you explain what we are responsible for and where we aren't - you have such great content. I'm sure you hear this a lot but I love you accent!

[@adrianaleyva6773]

F FF fig a

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Awwwww thanks, Michelle 😄

[@janicerennie422]

Emotional blackmail. Wow. Thank you for all of these, and especially for clarifying some of these crazy and familiar behaviors on both sides in our case.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

You're so very welcome!

[@paulasuprenant1435]

I am going to try to get clean and sober and I hope these videos help me.thank u

[@PutTheShovelDown]

You can do it!

[@LindaVball]

I sure appreciate this information.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thanks for watching and especially for taking time to leave this nice comment 😀

[@agopedro2671]

Thank you so much Amber - Keep Saving Lives!!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

You're so welcome

[@AMM3.]

I was wondering if you would consider doing a video about the impact on intimacy during recovery... Maybe that's too much for you, or maybe it's not your area of expertise 😂 but when my husband and I were both in recovery it was a pretty big issue... "My skin is crawling, if you touch me I'll vomit" was a common phrase... Not to mention the emotional side of things... I would love to hear your thoughts 😊

[@gwillis01]

I wish the best for you in rehab Ethan

[@carriemcclure7253]

You have a great channel. I need constant reinforcement, so always looking for help and good people.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I appreciate that! Thanks, Carrie 💖

[@TikiTiki27]

I love your videos, especially when you explain the science of addiction. I am a Food Addict, do you have any videos on the subject matter? If not, would you consider doing them?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Alejandra, I don't have any videos on that topic, but it's a great topic idea. I'll put it on my list.

[@lynyeliga5251]

Thanks for posting food , l am the same way as you. I wish we could be buddies.

[@johnnisbet7087]

Thanks for the heads up, so helpful 🙏

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Happy to help!

[@inapeck6371]

Thank you for this video. It was very helpful.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

You're very welcome!

[@frankiesmith9186]

Thank you Thank you ❤

[@cjgia4898]

Thank you so much!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hey friend 😁

[@anthonyrossmaund3161]

Thanks! I think this helps a lot!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Glad it helped!

[@josephsnearline2022]

With #3 for family members, what do you do when your addicted loved one goes to Cousin Eddie’s even though you’ve kindly told them it makes you uncomfortable, saying that if you really don’t want them to go, you should just say no?

[@aliciamckenzie6382]

Hi from California Amber 👋 told my boyfriend if he is not sober by May I can’t renew a lease with him. He’s addicted to adderall, runs out crashes, drinks. afraid he’ll die if I’m not there 😭 but I can’t live with the dysfunction but what if he becomes homeless ? He has ADHD/ODD

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Hey Alicia, are you doing any Al-Anon? That is such a great place to go for support with what you're dealing with.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I'm sure that was a tough decision. 😣

[@lisapogue1048]

If he ends up homeless, you might be giving him the gift of desperation that he needs to want to get help. You can still be connected and show love without living together. Praying for these hard decisions.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

@@lisapogue1048 This is so true Lisa and my heart goes out to you Alicia. Letting go is usually a struggle but I know you have enough support, like Al-Anon, to help.

[@janicepauley429]

Great video. When you say ‘early recovery’…can you explain more what you mean?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

More on boundaries and assertiveness: us02web.zoom.us/j/9161776359

[@gwillis01]

Hello Amber

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hello Gwin!

[@gr6666a]

I don’t trust my daughter at all , and don’t think I’ll live long enough to ever get there

[@ldnbxlnyc44beaufort49]

Hello From London I work and live in an english speaking country but AMBER PLEASE try to speak a little less fast !!! I have to replay bits and pieces because you speak so so fast I don't want to miss a word as my partner after years of nightmare is in early recovery and so sensitive.... I don't want to miss a word from you...

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi my London friend, I’ll try to do better. In the mean time you can adjust your play back speed by pressing the settings button. Or you can turn off closed captions. Hope that helps, Amber