Executive Function and the Autistic Brain

[@gardengirl4718]

I have a thing I do that I helps me face the often times overwhelming task of just tidying the house on a daily basis. I've found that if I can begin my day in a non-cluttered environment it makes the rest of the day better. What I've done is break down all the individual tasks into manageable chunks and I've written them all on strips of tagboard. So, for example, instead of writing 'clean the kitchen' I have strips that say, 'kitchen, sink side', 'kitchen, stove side', 'kitchen pantry corner', and 'kitchen, floor'. For the bedroom there are strips labeled 'make the bed', 'bedroom, surfaces', and 'bedroom, floor'. I break each room down into as many tasks as seems reasonable. When it's time to 'do the sticks' (the first time I ever used this system I wrote them on popsicle sticks, thus the name), I draw out one at a time and I complete just that task. All I have to do is the task I've just pulled from the pile. I shuffle the tasks after each use so the order comes up different each time which helps keep my brain engaged. I usually put on a favorite podcast or some upbeat music and before I know it my whole house has been tidied and I can move on, guilt free, to the other more attractive jobs I have assigned for that day. Hope someone else finds this useful!

[@katvb5686]

wow, I'm going to try that. thanks!

[@lauranilsen8988]

Great idea!!

[@michaelfreydberg4619]

That’s a very creative brain task!

[@racheloliveri5568]

Brilliant system. My house is a complete pigsty and I’m so overwhelmed by the mess and disorganisation that I do absolutely nothing. Every day I walk around achieving nothing because I’m too overwhelmed and “freeze”. By the end of the day I have achieved nothing and this feeds into a spiral of depression, then I drink to escape my negative emotions. Currently in rehab for the 35th time. It depresses me that I can’t get out of this rut. I’m beginning to understand myself through these videos and getting to know why I’m in this cycle of ALCOHOLISM but am feeling more able to tackle my issues now that I know what they are. I’ve only been diagnosed yesterday. It all makes sense finally - I’m 50 but feel empowered to take charge. Thank you soo much for the fantastic advice.

[@LynxyPie]

When I get my place (hopefully by the end of the summer), I am DEFINITELY going to try this! It looks like a method that could help me out a lot.

[@sarahleony]

Executive functioning is, aside from sensory difficulties, my biggest area of struggle. I honestly don’t think I could live entirely on my own without support. I am paralyzed by all I have to do so very often. During my worst years (university) I would take all morning to get ready to leave the house only to then return back home without getting anything done, because I was so exhausted. It sounds absolutely ridiculous. It has been wonderful to have my diagnosis and ”absolve” myself of some of those feelings of guilt, laziness and inadequacy.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad you’re finding some self compassion!! I know that can be a journey.

[@miraid06]

Currently dealing with that now. Not diagnosed, but my teenage daughter’s therapist told her she thinks I am Autistic with ADHD. As I looked into it, my whole life and all my difficulties made sense. I’m 39, single mom of 2 teenagers, Medically retired veteran and in school for the 25th time trying to get my undergraduate in Mathematics. I either get all A’s or all F’s. I would beat myself up, wonder why I just can’t do it. I know I’m intelligent enough to do it, but I just-can’t. Then I’d feel like I had 15 balls that I was juggling so well, then they all drop. Then I’d be embarrassed and essentially run away. I’ve lived in burnout for years. My executive functioning is atrocious. I don’t know if I should cry or be relieved to know that it’s not just me.

[@treesart6914]

Yes. I've been 'frozen' for months now because I'm in a very complex situation: in a foreign country that I may need to leave, need to finish my dissertation, need to find a job, hate my city, my house is a mess and I'm mostly alone all the time....getting depressed (47 year old and life is getting very hard). I've been unable to make progress, and I see all my money drain away because I have no income. My diagnosis is generalized anxiety disorder (some years ago at uni when I had a breakdown), but I always feel there is much more going on with me. I recently found out one of my uncles was autistic, so I looked into it and OMG ....I score high on all the tests and recognized so much!

[@sarahleony]

@@treesart6914 I'm sorry you're struggling! That's a lot of stuff to deal with. Sending you strength and compassion

[@treesart6914]

@@sarahleony thank you, I send you good things too.

[@cheesebread3]

I didn’t realize I had executive functioning challenges until recently I stayed over at a friends house and we were getting ready for bed and when I came out of the bathroom from washing my face and brushing my teeth and hair she said “that was a LONG nighttime routine.” I was like what? Really? It felt like it only took me 10 minutes but actually I was in there for 30! Absolutely wild. I then watched her wash her face, dry it, and do her skincare routine in about 2 minutes flat. It blew me away.

[@violakarl6900]

The bathroom is a area thats exempted from time space continuum. It's a dimension of timelessness and peace to which every living area has it's own acess to. We shall not take the bathroom and the wisdom it reveals to us for granted. 😁

[@violakarl6900]

.. and btw some skincare can't be rushed.. oil cleansing f.e. should be done for 5 mins anyway to get the best results

[@YugeYun]

Omg I’ve always wondered how people do their night routines so fast. It takes me 2 hours. I’m so jealous when I see my friends get finished in few minutes. Still, I haven’t figured out how to get ready faster. Same thing applies to morning and pretty much every part of the day. I often make plans but I’m unable to execute them. It’s so frustrating.

[@TheBanana93]

My Gf is like this but she aint autistic xD

[@alexandranun]

lol 🤭 Me

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

5. Time Management - I chuckle as I sit here watching this video when I should have left home 3 hours ago to meet my sister at a shop in another city! 🤦‍♀️

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🤪🙃

[@avrilleepayne]

I believe firmly that the biggest problem that I have is definitely related to organizing and cleaning but yet I can't live with the chaos. Also, my children call what I do Circle cleaning. I will spend a minute or 5 or 10 on one specific task and then move to the next without completing that task and sometimes it takes me weeks to complete the tasks, but then they're all done at one time and everybody is very confused as to how that happened, sometimes including me.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

circle cleaning! I can relate to this concept... Thank you for sharing!

[@varvaracoronado9036]

What helps me a lot is periodic decluttering of my house

[@MomontheSpectrum]

sometimes we will turn on loud music that we can dance to and clean as a family. I feel like that is pretty helpful to me

[@T.T.M.60]

Me too!….I declutter 3-4 times a year and am constantly re organizing things

[@whitneymason406]

I too appear organized to many people! I also keep a detailed calendar. Before I had these tools my anxiety around time in particular was paralyzing. I couldn't understand why I couldn't get it together and do basic tasks. Getting my diagnosis and learning about executive functions and how many autistic people have issues with this really helped me become more compassionate towards myself. Great video Taylor this information is so useful!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yay I’m so glad it’s helpful! After I shot it I was like, does anyone care about this other than me? 🤪as always, glad I’m in good company

[@andreaharmon8931]

I have literally been telling myself how I look really organized on the outside. I'm a clean freak and I keep my space clean and organized because I can't function well in a visual mess. Buy my inner side such as cupboards, drawers, closets and mental space is a cluttered, un organized mess. So it's good to know I'm not the only one.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Definitely not alone!

[@with_compassion]

Not alone, :) ...and you might find Clutterbug quiz intriguing :) I adore what it taught me. If not, no worries. What you said just reminded me of it.

[@megan5074]

This is so relatable! I struggle in every area of executive functioning. Some examples are: - working memory: I struggle with writing notes in class when presented verbally by the instructor because I can't hold the information in my brain and write a bunch of half notes. I have to record the classes so I can relisten to them and catch the missed information. - organization: I have an intrinsic need for organization but cannot seem to stay organized. I'm rather inconsistent but I get so bothered when other people I live with don't put things back where they are ment to be and move things around. I too love lists but also don't follow them lol - prioritizing: this one is more prevalent now that I have a job working mostly remotely and having to discern what is most important to work on especially while in school because everything is important. - time management: I struggle with knowing how much time to give myself because I end up taking longer to do things that intended like reading one chapter of my textbook takes about 3 hours whereas others it takes about an hour to an hour and a half. I leave things till last minute but work well under pressure. I get stuck in waiting mode if I have an appointment later in the day and can't get anything done - emotional regulation: I have a hard time knowing how I feel and will sometimes have meltdowns after social outings if I am too stimulated but won't really realize it in the moment sometimes. Task initiation: I have a hard time switching from one task to another, I think this related to waiting mode because I don't want to start something like writing a paper then have to leave to a drs app or something. Or I struggle to switch from school mode to work mode at home.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing your experience here!

[@sherislaughter646]

I can so relate to the working memory and your experience with it. This is the part of my late diagnosed adhd that has been the hardest for me. I’ve always done well in school/college but it seemed like it took so much work…and still does. It has been so confusing to feel smart and dumb at the same time. Not saying this makes us dumb but as a kid that’s how I felt. Finding out I was neurodiverse has helped me “understand” (feel like I “need” to be able to understand everything…a whole other topic)and have more compassion for myself. It can be so frustrating to feel like you’re never actually learning the material because of the struggle to draw from it when you want or need to. I do find it helps to teach, write about, or somehow be involved in what I’m trying to learn. Connecting emotion with it can also be very helpful. I think that’s why it’s a little easier to learn about the things we’re so passionate about. But, even when I feel I know it I still have trouble drawing from it, especially in the spur of the moment. I can write about things I know better than I can verbalize the things I know. …right now I have this need to apologize for going on and on and possibly being annoying. Ugh! Anyone identify with any of this?

[@joshaw7018]

Yes I relate to this! I always had to spend hours on homework and study to get good grades, a lot more than most other kids. Like you, I was confused about whether I was smart or not. I am also a lot better writing than verbalizing as well. Another thing is that I learn things better visually than aurally. I also feel like I learn things a lot slower than most people. Yet I have always had good grades? 🤷

[@echase416]

EF (Executive Function) is also called The Brain’s Manager

[@adrianopper9472]

Before I self diagnosed as ADHD, and now AuDHD, I was so unkind to myself for all of my EF issues. Now, I know what is going on and can be kinder and develop strategies. I'm also a better mom and teacher. ❤

[@hazelnuiit]

Same here. I went for so long ignoring the issues that come from not meeting my own autistic needs that it really took a toll on my mental well being. Now that I can relate and identify without blaming myself, it's such a big change for the better. I don't ever want to go back to before.

[@charissekenkel1692]

There are definitely not enough resources, help, understanding, or compassion for parents who are autistic . Up until recently I was ableist with myself and my kids who also have autism. I love the information, support, and validation that your channel provides.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much. If you haven’t already, you may find the Big Autistic Resource Guide helpful! MomOnTheSpectrum.life/resources

[@sadshyguygaming125]

I think I've always used or thought of executive function as being able to make decisions and being decisive. Don't ask me "where do you want to go to eat?", "what movie do you want to watch?", "what is your favorite...__________?" or really any questions, because I don't know how to respond. When I first started doing my own grocery shopping I literally spent 30-45 minutes just picking out a loaf of bread, and the reason I didn't take longer is because I realized I was taking forever on this one task and that I needed to get moving. I do not like having to make decisions, no matter how small or insignificant. It often requires a lot of time and energy on my part to get past any decisions that come my way. Is this still executive function? I am not sure, maybe. But also there might be more to it than just making decisions. I am going to have to watch this video again and also try to dig deeper into what is going on inside and what is really happening in certain situations. Also with questionnaires most questions I am unsure of how to answer or I am not confident in the accuracy of my answer, as a result I tend to answer in the middle or slightly one way or the other for most questions. There will be a few questions from time to time that I answer more confidently strongly agree or disagree. But I think that I contributed my difficulty with questionnaires to executive function.

[@lisawhitehall1870]

@sadshyguygaming125 WORD! YES!!

[@autumn3499]

omg the making a list, doing other things, but still liking making lists is so relatable

[@rachelwong3474]

..honestly I do feel more comfortable with life just knowing that there are other ppl like me ❤️

[@sueannevangalen5186]

I can relate to SO much of this. My housekeeping skills are terrible. I never was that great and I know what you mean about shoving things into closets and attics because I can't throw them out and don't know what else to do with them. But since we moved to a place with insufficient storage space and had kids, forget it. The place is a junk heap. My floors are especially bad. It just costs me so much energy to pick things up off the floor! I find myself in a sticky little place where the mess stresses me out but I also feel like I never have the time or energy to do anything about it. I really have to reach the absolute end of my rope to go out of my way to pick up after my kids. If I've just had a meltdown, the junk heaps become towers and I hate living here. Is anyone else really struggling hard? I use a planner and a special app on my phone to help with executive dysfunction but they don't always help.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I have bought so many planners and I’m really great at using them…for at LEAST two weeks. 🤪

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Also yes to really struggling. Life is TUFF right now

[@whitneymason406]

I can totally relate! I've always had anxiety in messy spaces. I was very orderly before kids and I still try...in vain lol 😅 I can't afford someone to clean but I might ask for it as a Mother's Day or birthday gift. That would definitely be a gift that keeps on giving!

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@MomontheSpectrum 😂 Sounds about right

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@whitneymason406 Yes, that was a great tip, getting someone in to help with the cleaning. Maybe when I go back to work, we'll be able to afford it.

[@serenaalexander1846]

I also have the running to do list on my iPhone! I've learned my day often doesn't go to plan because things take less or more time than I thought. Or I get bogged down...or my special interest takes over......and 5 hours later....!

[@karolinaska6836]

I can't imagine letting someone else clean my space. First, having someone else see all my messes! Second, not having it done to my standard. Third, actually having to interact with this person. Lol. It would cause more problems than it would solve.

[@brandywells6503]

Honestly impressed with the executive function it must take to put out all these great videos! 😍 I had a poor executive function day so this was perfect timing. For me, getting started and staying focused are much easier when I’m passionate or interested in the task. So maybe incorporating special interests, like listening to a podcast on a topic you love while cleaning, can help with getting hard things done? Thanks for the awesome content as always, Tay!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Great suggestion! Thanks for your comment, Brandy!

[@lauranilsen8988]

Yes! When I have to leave the garden to come in and cook it really helps to listen to a podcast or kinda loud music. My family does not appreciate that though. 😬

[@joycebrewer4150]

I honestly don't think I could afford to have my attention divided that way. Task on one side, pleasurable listening on the other. Neither would get accomplished if it was up to me. I can barely work a jigsaw puzzle if I am also hearing the radio play. I may have to work up the courage to speak to the lady who likes her music pretty loud, here. Sometimes I want to cover my ears like a two year old!

[@autumn3499]

thank you for including the reminder executive function difficulties is a spectrum as well and you can have some while others may be strengths too. There are tons of videos that list them, but I’ve fallen into thinking “well I’m good at that one so I guess I can’t have executive function difficulties”.

[@sheradenart7907]

Executive function is my biggest issue. I am 50 and have learned to mask for most stuff but I can really relate to the lack of executive function. This list is so much trouble, I had trouble with housework when I was younger but now it is just my husband and I and I don't have much to do. I still forget my laundry in the dryer and get stressed out when something makes the tasks more difficult. I sometimes freak out if there are dishes in the sink when I go to wash them. For some reason having to clean them out of the sink before I can wash them really upsets me. I think the biggest problem I have with executive function is connected to my desire to work from home. I can make beautiful jewelry but when it comes to being able to sell any of my work I end up having meltdowns over not being able to organize the details. And do to childhood trauma issues I have a great deal of trouble believing that I can do things as well as deciding what my jewelry is worth.

[@HKOlaura]

8:26 cleaning house is actually one of the tasks I find so satisfying…now. When I lived with my ex husband, it was almost impossible. I think part of that difference was having to pay attention to where I put things, consider his needs/desires/preferences when deciding what to tidy, and the issue with being observed and criticized for the order and manner I go about cleaning and tidying. Now that I live alone in my own space, if I want to take 2 hours to reorganize a portion of my closet, no one cares. I can even stop if I get tired and not have the burden of someone else’s inconvenience or judgement. Not having all the emotional and moral factors involved in cleaning makes task initiation easier, so I get things done on schedule and with a nice glow of satisfaction when I’m done (instead of exhaustion). I would like to know what other people feel and do when they live with a partner/roommates/children/other family.

[@user-ly3li3ex8c]

The worst is if or when they berate and insult your character when you fail to do cleaning tasks as often as they expect you too and then to criticize you on how and what time you get yourself to do it. I get so exhausted in the heat in a house without air conditioning, so I can't bring myself to do tasks during the day when its hot

[@bryanmerton5153]

Hi Taylor. Really cool video. I have done a lot of reading on executive function but not to this level. Of course I took the test😀! My lowest score was 2 for behavioral regulation. Everything else was 2.5-3. I really have little to no executive function. This has sort of been my struggle throughout my life. I made it through K-12 somehow, but couldn’t cope with college. That being said, I have managed to create tons of hacks and with the dawn of the smart phone life became that much easier. You, by the way, are the only person who gets what a Herculean task brushing ones teeth is🤣! I too manage to do it every day. Despite the fact that I have been living with this for 62 years I still can get frustrated with myself. Another thing that I find interesting is time management. I have a real problem with the concept of time. I can add most numbers in my head in an instant, yet I have a devil of a time figuring out how long something will take to complete. Also I can’t calculate how much time it will take me to get to work. I am always an hour to an hour and a half early. Thank goodness I am early as I know many with ADHD arrive late for things. I even have to calculate hours to an event on my fingers rather then in my head. I know, weird right? Thank you for this video. Spent the morning taking tests and reflecting! Very nice.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad it was helpful to you and you know I appreciate the feedback! I, too, count things on my fingers. I can't really visualize math in my head. I'm awesome at math on paper because I triple check my work and understand logic and equations, but head math has always stumped me. As far as being on time goes, I feel like I'm either really early or running in right on time. If I'm there on time, the time leading up to it feels completely frantic. Never chill, hey I'm getting ready to go somewhere. It always feels like "IM GONNA BE LATE I HAVE TO GO NOWWWWW" lol. Our brains. So glad I'm not alone and that we are learning how to find our own version of success in this one wild and crazy life!

[@JessicaSmith-of2uj]

As someone who was just diagnosed during her first month of graduate school recently, this video is so helpful and eye-opening! Thank you

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re so welcome! Glad it was helpful. I’m always open to suggestions for future videos.

[@CinkSVideo]

Working memory…especially for instructions or directions. I just look at the person and ask them to write it down. I’m ultra organized because not being able to find things are triggers for meltdowns…cause finding that thing is routine based. Prioritizing life tasks.is.so.hard. I have a house cleaner too. It allows me to take that thing off my plate the interferes with my everything I need/want to do. Extremely grateful I can afford that.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yes having things written down helps me SO much.

[@edhoover42]

As a late diagnosed autistic (diagnosed at age 57) some of what I have learned (without realizing I was autistic) included realizing I could not accurately estimate the time it takes to do things, I over-estimate the mount of time ot takes to do things (and alocate lots of extra time, and on big tasks, I avoid deadlines and leave lots of time for it around other deadline-related activities). I have noticed that I seem to be much slower at doing things than others. I compensate for this by walking really fact...all the time/compulsively. I also don't try to take on more than I can handle. I know that I couldn't even handle having pets, let alone kids (or romantic relationships) ...so by definition of your channel's name, you have accomplished a lot!.

[@julialaynemcclain1562]

I’m in process on late (65) diagnosis. In my 30’s I had brain bleeds/surgeries and so all my exec function issues were attributed to that. It definitely got worse and I have lots of long practiced strategies and support for working around it but I can see now all that went into my being able to perform in that way before the bleeds. I still have good planning skills but the ability to even start a series of tasks to complete a project takes priming my brain and my space often for hours to start. I have uniforms/outfits that I wear for different tasks (for practicality- painting or yard work or housework or groc store or lounging or hiking etc) so then if I put the outfit on it starts the gestalt of the activity. Packing lists and reminders and “launch pad” bags for commitments set up ahead of time. I’m learning to listen to music while doing tasks to minimize auditory distraction and also just to stop and purposely stim/move until the task sequence reboots. This saves me trying to control others to not distract me and also means I always have to allow for/negotiate extra time for that to be part of the process. I know this is an old post but I’m probably not the only one out here working my way through all your terrific content. Thank you! When I need support/solidarity/ideas for coping, your content is always helpful.

[@kerrythurber9141]

I can relate to fixating on unimportant details until they're done. It's a two-edged sword, because I take pride in perfecting a detail that nobody else got right, but I can see that it hurts me because it places me under a lot of stress to reach the main goal.

[@leigholding1397]

I go to adult literacy group. And when ever we read a txt about an article... I don't understand what it's about initially. We go through it together in class... we write and take notes. Then at the end I'll get it.. then 5 minutes later I'll forget again... I also feel sooo tired after... like my brain has had a marathon of a thinking workout. Can make me disassociate to... honestly it's sooo hard to function executively... the amount of work... the layout... taking notes, so much involved. Also at times I've listened to audio books and if there's to much information coming in I have a meltdown. Like fall down on my knees and cry... cause over load with information just can't handle sensory overload. If I can't do the executive function I have fear of the future too. Really sucks.

[@Marie-1901]

This was one of my favorites from you - SO relatable and reassuring to know my struggles with these things are hard for a reason. Thank you!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oh yay I’m so glad to hear it. Thanks so much for commenting.

[@divin3_l0vee]

Wow!! 😂🙏🏽❤️ I’m blown away at how alike we are, and for once don’t feel so alone and like something’s wrong with me. I resonated with all of this!!! 🥹 I wondered how other ppl could brush their teeth without feeling like they just accomplished a whole mission 😅, or do any of the things you shared. The notes thing - Omg, I’m just like this 😂 . The not covering your ears in public but it literally hurting when a ton of ppl are talking - yesss to all of this. I just really appreciate you SO much!!! 💖

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Aw thank you so much for your comment!!

[@adrianopper9472]

The hygiene accomplishments are real 😅

[@Ramagon98]

Before I forget, love the new intro and outro "splash screens" or whatever they're called! Executive function is definitely something that impacts me quite a bit. Learning I need to make lists and set reminders... however, I'm finding that getting "interrupted" with the reminders and shifting gears is a challenge. Which tends to make me set less reminders... ;-) I didn't realize it for the longest time, but clutter is something that affects me a lot. I'm certainly not the tidiest of people or a "clean freak", but too many items around, especially if they don't have a defined place, just starts "getting" to me? It's like I have to keep track of everything around me... and if it's just a "mess" (another person's trash...) or stuff is moving around, that just wears me out or something? We've been working on getting organized lately and that has helped quite a bit. Especially in the kitchen... I would get so frustrated trying to find something, that it just wasn't worth me "helping", hah! Now, with a little planning, I can take care of dinner most nights (if needed). Great video, as always... I'll probably have to watch again to catch everything. I'm finding that's something I do quite a bit as well... it takes a couple times (or just time?) for things to sink in? Anyway, thank you and take care!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you! I spent way too much time picking the splash screens out but I like them too and thought it was like a visual stim. Yes to also needing to watch/listen/learn things more than once to understand. Usually after I’ve given myself considerable time from the first absorption of info.

[@pedroba76]

For a long time I thought that I had comorbid adhd along with my autism, even thought as a kid and a teenager I didn't have much trouble staying focused on classes and being a good student, but watching this video, it seems that most of the things that made me think I had adhd, were actually a result of executive disfunction that autistic people may also have, and internet addiction hyperstimulation. I relate to most of the 12 things that you mentioned in the video. That explains why both the psychologist and the psychiatrist both said that they don't think I have adhd, that I don't seem to have it. After all, my struggles are generally more about procastinating tasks and anxiety about tasks and organization, than about staying focused on a task after I began doing the task and made a commitment to keep doing the task, it's less about focused attention.

[@visionsmagazineonlin]

Now that I cannot physically withstand all the bending that cleaning requires and even putting on makeup & doing my hair results in a severe backache. Then to worry about navigating my steps without falling due to multiple areas of arthritis & ligament issues. I am in mental overload. People who are able bodied don't realize just a little shopping wipes me out.

[@marisa5359]

I have EDS as well as ASD and totally relate. Each day is very carefully doled out for me and in there is always the knowledge my body is going to say, "Nope" at any given time.

[@bethwishitwereviolet5938]

A habit tracker is a helpful way to make sure you’re doing self care, and tasks that need to get done. It’s very satisfying to me to check them off each day as they are completed. 💕

[@marcusaurelius49]

My attention span when working on tasks I don’t particularly enjoy is a fleeting as a humming bird, but I can watch luthiers repair or build guitars for hours and hours on KZbin. Organisation is also my kryptonite at work.

[@jrose93]

Dishes tip: (i don’t have a working dishwasher at the moment) keep the sink empty at all times!!! an empty sink gets used, a full sink gets ignored. “load” the rinsed off dirty dishes on the counter so they can be seen easily for sorting into piles. (I use a dishwasher silverware caddy on the counter to sort the dirty silverware) When you’ve got the window of time and motivation to do some dishes, you get to choose which sink full to wash, pile by pile, one at time. (my favorite method for everything is going largest to smallest. Pots and pans to cutting boards down to plates bowls cups and silverware)This gives me minimal decision making for what needs washed first, it gives me chunks of actual washing and moments for a break in between each pile. I also always keep dishwashing gloves handy now. No exceptions. This has been the single biggest change for me in 8 weeks i’ve done the dishes every day for the first time in my entire life. I’m cooking meals more, Im dreading being in my kitchen less.

[@NiinaSKlove]

LOL! When your cat jumped on the piano - and sniffed the plant - my brain was like: Hm. I wonder which plants are pet-friendly? If I were to get a cat, I would have to know that. I have to do research on that! And then I got back to you and realized that I had missed out on some things you said. I rewind the video, and now I am about to watch that segment again. 😂😂 #autisitc

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Haha love it! Totally relatable!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hey niina your other comment got deleted by KZbin but I think I could piece together what you were saying before it got deleted. For some reason, my FULL website has to be typed in on some browsers. Still trying to figure out why. So instead of momothespectrum.net, try www.momonthespectrum.net and see if this works. Sorry for the confusion.

[@NiinaSKlove]

@@MomontheSpectrum Oh! Well, when I tried getting to your website, by writing in the address you provided, it doesn't work...

[@shiny6123]

👏🏼👏🏼 a running list on my iphone notepad and making a list for the day but not doing a single thing on it…. That’s me too !!The thing that I find helps to get started and get through difficult tasks is I set a timer for 5 minutes and then allow myself to stop. So then I keep the 5 minute timer going over and over allowing myself to stop and I have no pressure nor anxiety .

[@arielnecessary1615]

Initiating anything is really hard for me, whether it's a conversation or a chore I have to do. I procrastinate a lot. I seldom set goals for myself because I know they probably won't get done and then I'll feel like a failure. Shifting gears is another hard thing. I have my script in my head about how an interaction is supposed to go, but if the person I'm talking to offers me a different alternative, I can't shift to it even if it's a better alternative and one that I'd really like. I can't make myself say okay to the preferable alternative because it's not part of my pre-planned script. Then I get really angry at myself later for not accepting the better alternative.

[@sheri6089]

Working memory and special interests!! And to do lists and calendars/planners!!

[@elizabethivy1337]

I just have to say thank you again for posting these videos, they really are so helpful! Understanding how being autistic affects my executive functioning has been an important part of being kinder to myself. Being less negative and self-critical is still an ongoing process for me. However, I am getting better at taking pauses and reassessing my own internal views rather than just accepting them for reality. I no longer feel like it's my fault if I'm struggling to remember things, start tasks, manage time, switch gears, etc. It used to be a constant litany of all the things I was accused of as a child such as "not caring enough, being lazy, or not applying myself as well as I could." Just try harder... lol. My thoughts have now shifted towards "well, this is just how my brain functions, so how can 'we' work together in a way that moves me towards my goals, even if it's doesn't match how I was told I should be getting there." As an aside, I totally relate to having a hard time assessing how long tasks will take and if I am doing well at them. I've struggled to understand how people "half-ass" something or "try their best" because I feel like, if I have committed myself to doing a task, then the only way I can perform it is by giving it all my effort. I'm unlikely to be able to perform the action at all if I'm not committing 100% effort. The only ways I tend to not do 100% at something is when I'm listening to music or watching a show in the background to help occupy my brain so I can focus on the true activity that I want to be doing. I guess the same would go for physical activities too. I.E. running at a sustainable pace vs. just sprinting.

[@vanessabeaton]

I’m extremely impressed with the consistency you maintain to “do” this channel. So inspiring 😊

[@joybiddie6575]

Thank you for giving me the idea to put my tasks in Google calendar. I don't think you said that specifically but your video brought the idea to my head 🙂 I look at my phone all day long so that's the perfect spot to remind me. My area of interest is on the brain and how it works, so I enjoy the parts where you talk about the brain specifically and what it's doing. ❤

[@janejones5362]

I'm autistic, AND have brain injuries from 1967, and 2023. Left frontal lobe affected, both times. So executive function issues, oh my...I know a lot of workarounds. EVERYthing gets written down. Planning and emotional regulation are big issues.

[@aspidoscelis]

At 2:15 - There's a word missing. "Executive function skills are the *mythical* mental processes that enable us to plan, focus [...]"

[@TRXST.ISSUES]

This list is my life lol 😂. What a surprise piano riff from Beltre, speaking of loud noises in social situations- it kills me when shopping carts slam down as someone grabs one. I have to brace for the hit. You really stepped your game up on this one, super inspiring! Know too what it’s like to get fixated on small seemingly insignificant details. Can’t help it. Great job!! 🦾🙏🔥

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks! Yeah I had fun with some new video editing stuff this time around.

[@debbehwebbeh]

I am 39. Thanks to finding your video about the chart/criteria for autistic women the other day, i feel seen, and I feel so relieved. I was walking around too long with a misdiagnosis of a personality disorder which two therapists strongly believe is not accurate; the symptoms and causes do not match with that; something I suspected for a long time. I will be evaluated by a psychologist with an expertise in ASD/adhd soon.

[@kellyely9113]

For me, I Assimilate information, Rearrange the information, then Train my brain to learn a skill or social norm to fit in, thus creating the "mask" that hides my social deficits and ability to fully understand the intention of other people. I used to always assume that if I explained to someone my process of ART in how my brain makes connections, that I would be misunderstood or worse, ostracized from the social connection. The "fake it until you make it" is how I learned to calm my somatic mind in social environments as I tend to observe much more than I engage in them. This only works when you are not the target of attention (and I struggle greatly with interpersonal connection with new people that have not had time to be around me and become aware of my differences in communication), so dating and relationships of an intimate nature are very challenging to develop (but I'm getting better at the social navigation of them as I understand the psyche of different neurotypes of people). As far as I have observed, neurotypical people use the Acceptance, Recognition and Touch or Train (depending on if the attention is required internally or externally), thus creating ART in their brain that creates the ability to execute and the ability to attach to other people. I mimic a lot with new people and I have had to remind myself not to "enmesh" my thoughts and feelings with theirs so that I can maintain my sense of self if I plan to develop a relationship with them.

[@varvaracoronado9036]

I have an issue with the time management from a different perspective. I’m preoccupied with how much time each task “normally” takes and if IRL it takes longer I get super frustrated. I absolutely can’t stand when people are late, or holding me longer than promised/announced/agreed upon. My husband is aware of my time fixation. He learned to give me more precise time frames. So, it’s not “I’ll be there around 4-5 -ish”, rather 4.45 - 5.00. I can tolerate 15 min difference, but not 1 hr!! I know I need to loosen up, but it’s so hard. What I noticed helped me to deal with it is to tell a “new” person upfront that I am a bit particular about time, so bear with me 💁‍♀️

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Interesting! Thanks for sharing this perspective.

[@SandraLemenaite]

I have THE SAME struggle. It’s so kind when people give me clear times

[@flyingroses]

You would perfectly fit in here in the Netherlands. If people here say they'll be there at 5, they'll be there at 5. More than about 10 minutes early or late would be communicated beforehand. It would stress me out too if I don't know when to expect people to turn up

[@elizabethivy1337]

I totally get the time fixation! Once I know that someone is going to be arriving in the next ten minutes, I literally cannot do any other activity as I wait for them to get there because the thought of the interruption makes me feel frozen. Someone having an hour window during which they could arrive basically messes up the whole hour for me. Personal anecdote, one of my exes would text me randomly to "heat up dinner for him in the microwave," but he wouldn't specify which food he wanted or when exactly he was arriving home (I tried to get specifics, but he was driving and usually ended the call in a hurry). It was like an ambiguous time-management nightmare for me. I was paralyzed trying to figure out what he would want to eat and when I needed to get it out so it would be warm at the right time. It felt like he had asked me to wear a chicken suit, squawk loudly in the middle of a crowded mall and then make eye contact with every on-looker. Unlikely to ever happen without great motivation or exhaustive fallout directly afterwards.

[@RetroRelicReloaded]

So glad I found this channel...

[@robertwarbrick7560]

Overcoming executive function issues with competing hyper focus and attention deficit is possible! It is like completing a connect-the-dots picture and then deciding that it needs to be rainbow themed.

[@robertwarbrick7560]

ASD+ADD can feel like the physical embodiment of an oxymoron and a walking contradiction, at times. Being able to distinguish which one is in the driver's seat definitely helps with executive functioning.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Love the rainbow themed idea!!

[@christopherrosado8420]

This channel is a blessing :)

[@professorg7387]

We struggle with disorganization, both mentally and in the physical realm, and have found The Home Edit and their organizing products to be life saving! Truly, the first thing we organized was our medicine cabinet.

[@charging7]

Thanks for covering this very important subject! I take issue with #7, or at least, you're take on the solution. To me, the answer isn't getting rid of the challenge you're having trouble with, I've seen the solution as breaking the job, the enormity of the job, into smaller, more digestible parts and tackling each one separately until I'm completed. I get a lot of satisfaction from this because like you, I see all the detail and there's thousands of them to cover inside any task. I love your spirit.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective!

[@camellia8625]

This is an incredibly clear and comprehensive and highly understandable summary of executive functioning. Thank you for so generously sharing your expertise.

[@vanessabeaton]

I identify with just about everything you’ve said in this video. It’s insane 😮

[@desacrater221]

👂🏼sensitive ears can be very difficult. porcelain plates inside on tile. And in the same way smells can trigger memory, specific sounds in certain contexts can trigger the chaotic states of mind.

[@craigcarter400]

I definitely have masking tape labels on my tool box in the garage.

[@2RavenzTarot]

This resonates with me. Thanks for sharing this

[@noqueq9003]

I can't even have many foods in my fridge because I will forget to eat most of them and they will end up rotting. I've had foods rotting and molding inside my fridge because I'd totally forget them and when I WOULD remember to cook them, it'd be too late. Terrible short term memory, no energy to motivate myself enough to DO stuff, no coordination, awful at multitasking, extreme brain fog (unexplainable forgetfullness or getting ''lost''). Adding to that the fact that after so many years of masking and ''coping'', I'm now 100% exhausted and can barely even mask anymore for my day to day duties.

[@racheloliveri5568]

Most of these rip relate to all these. I especially resonate with working memory, I feel like a goldfish. I have to write everything down otherwise the information disappears. Planning and organisation, I get bogged down by the details and lose track of what I am supposed to do. Flexibility is also huge, I get completely thrown off track if things don’t go according to plan. Stress-little things stress me out, like I’m interrupted I have a melt down and can’t get back on track

[@racheloliveri5568]

Thanks

[@gardengenie6300]

>>> " ..I will have a completely different day than what I planned..." I thought that happened to everyone!! lol 6 yo woman here who is just beginning to explore this. I resonate with a LOT of what you are talking about! o.m.g. thank you for speaking out.

[@logicalameetsworld]

Getting too focused on a task or special interest can literally shut off my auditory senses. I set alarms and text to vibrant and we train each dog we get to make physical contact with me when they need to go out. These two things have solved the frustration my wife had trying to audibly get my attention.

[@ursinahack-maclellan6717]

My executive functioning was seriously impaired by that lovely wrap you are wearing. My mind keeps focusing on that and goes down the weaving rabbit hole trying to figure out how I would try and recreate that on my loom. I might have to re-listen to the whole video without the picture.😅

[@susanpottenger5794]

Thank you for this; I can sooo relate to this!! And, ❤ I love Beltrey! ❤️ 😺😊

[@AndrewChun791]

If your psychiatrist diagnosed you with Autism Spectrum Disorder, then I would consider switching to a new provider, maybe even hiring a medical malpractice attorney to represent you if the condition is directly affecting your day-to-day life activities like work, family, or enjoying leisure activities. But for arguments sake, I'd love to be notified about any new group sessions you may be hosting via Zoom! Have a good one Taylor.

[@ChantalM3]

What are you saying here? Do you think she has something else instead? Genuinely curious.

[@christineclarke9063]

Thankyou so much for your channel 💓

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You are so welcome!

[@Vikingvideos50]

Hi there. Love your channel. I just tried to take the test you link to and there was a problem I just wanted to tell others about. After you do the quiz, you have to enter a code. What it doesn't say is that you can make up your own code. I didn't know that until I finished it and went around trying to find what the code was. Thanks for these videos!

[@britthamsund4567]

Takk!

[@TommyBrum]

I struggle with a lot of these. The most pressing at the moment is that I can't find the best way to study for a licensing exam. There is a mountain of information, with no direction of how to study. I can't orchestrate a plan to tackle this enormous task, so I've just sat her for months, a deer in the headlights. I've failed finals in the past due to this. Terrified I'll fail this as well.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I understand that feeling 💔 it is overwhelming

[@whitneymason406]

I totally get how you feel, Tommy. In college it didn't matter how hard I studied or knew the content, once I sat down to take the test everything in my head would vanish! I think I have test anxiety. Do you have someone you can partner with and quiz each other? Breaking down topics into smaller categories, like Talor mentioned with the going grocery shopping example, might help too. Best of luck to you!!

[@varvaracoronado9036]

What kind of exam are you trying to take? My husband was in similar situation for several years. He’s been trying to pass PE (professional engineering, there are 2 exams). He kept failing until he realized he didn’t want to do the engineering at all and changed his career toward software engineering where he’s very successful now, tripled his income.

[@TrippiePineapplz]

"Managing emotions" to me just feels like supressing and avoiding my own need to express. Its so hard and sometimes impossible for me to delay when emotion is not "socially appropriate." Hate my brain.

[@shadowfox933]

I'm not sure it really counts since I don't have much trouble with time management, but I've found that having a physical planner helps me avoid stress. It isn't that I need it to keep track of all of the things I'm doing, it just reduces my stress for some reason?

[@heyceicei]

For sustained attention, I think is more about where you put your attention. If you are doing something you really like, maybe a special interest, then you’ll be hyper focused, but if you’re in a situation of learning or working in something you’re not interested at all, or there’s to much distraction, no wonder why you can’t maintain the attention! But (in me) it might have to do with the adhd

[@nandep2149]

My suggestion/request: Please keep extra comments in your videos to a minimum. Better yet, just remove them, and try to keep your videos shorter and to the point. If you want to discuss a cookie recipe, make a separate video for it. You're great, Taylor, and the information can be helpful. However, people with these conditions will have difficulty focusing on these long videos (especially when you talk about your channel, other subjects, include long drawn-out stories, etc.). For example, for this video, I'd carve off at least 10 minutes. Thank you, and again, your efforts are appreciated. :)

[@rebeccaelle135]

Just yes.

[@mementomori6585]

Thank you

[@FourthOneIsIt]

After years, I finally realized I just don't have to do the whole thing. I don't have to do all the dishes. I can clean the pots and pans and leave the rest, instead of leaving it all. And so on. I suppose that's some version of breaking it into smaller steps, but not really. But a little bit maybe. My lists are ridiculous, I'll put a reasonable 11 items on the list for that day, and it will take all day to get three of them done.

[@c0uc0u]

Thank you from Montréal :)

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hi Eli in Montreal! Thanks for your comment.

[@SharonL92]

I can’t even fake the appearance of organization! 😭😭😭 I have autism and ADHD and I struggle SO much with organizing! My mind won’t let me break things down into smaller pieces. All I see is one giant mess, so I get overwhelmed and panic. The problem is, I NEED organization, so the fact that my home isn’t, creates an uncomfortable home environment and creates a constant state of unease for me. It’s a cycle I’m stuck in and don’t know how to get out of! 😭 I need help, but I don’t know how to fix this! I somehow manage to do a deep clean like once a month or less frequently than that, when it gets to be too much and I can get things looking nice in a couple of rooms at a time, but then it all piles up again. 😓 It also leads to a pattern of self-loathing because I can’t understand why I can’t just clean and organize. Like so many others do it like it’s easy? Why can’t I!? I am perpetually embarrassed by the state of my house. It doesn’t look like a hoarders house or anything and it isn’t NASTY. I do clean and I don’t leave food out or anything gross like that. It’s just clutter! Clutter everywhere! Laundry, shoes, books, baby toys, blankets, random items that don’t have a designated spot, ect! I hate this!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're not alone in this! thanks for sharing your experience here

[@joshuabaker8304]

One of the problems I have with verbal communication is that I think visually .my mind makes pictures of what I'm hearing people say to me as well as what I'm saying to them and words never come close to what is in my head. It's like fast food ! The picture is fantastic but words never come close to what your really trying g to say!

[@blossom654]

Looking back to my younger years (Iong before diagnosis), I would love dancing jive, swing and jitterbug, because you swing, twist, turn upside-down and bounce around a lot. Great for the brain, as if it gets you out of a rigid and stuck, repetitive state and loosens up the mind🤯🤩👍🏼 Also going to fun-fair tivolis in all those machines that does the same…really awesome for the brain 🧠👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 There must be a reason that many autistics love and feel compelled to spin round and round 🔄 I would love to go for astronaut training 🧑🏽‍🚀❤😅

[@blossom654]

I can also recommend this particular wonderful Bollywood dance class, lots of turning, spin and head work 💃💃💃Both my autistic and ADHD side love this class ❤ kzbin.info/www/bejne/pImwiYigjZqqea8

[@blossom654]

Much exercise is quite rigid and robotic….back and forth, up and down…even much aerobics and astoundingly many dance classes too. When real Zumba entered it started to loosen up ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks so much for sharing this!

[@tammylawson3376]

Your cat looks like the one I share with my current husband. Her name is Butterscotch. She's 8 1/2 months old. My EX husband is trying to help me get started on a diagnosis so I can get disability benefits. I can't seem to get help from our local Adanta, where my current husband goes. They go out of their ways to ALL help HIM!!! My EX husband and our adult son also see a therapist weekly Both of them draw disability. My ex is autistic and so is our son... And I'm pretty SURE that I am too. My 23 year old daughter is doing well now mentally, but as a teenager, she had serious mental health issues and frequent breakdowns. Me and my kids all are probably ADHD. (Current husband is ADHD) Ex husband is ADD. I struggle mightily with executive functions...

[@Infinitesimal-ho7it]

The "gear-shift" is not my strength. It takes quite a moment. I became aware of this about myself several years ago and called it "gear-shifting" then. I think I visibly roll eyes when people interrupt me, which I think that they think I'm being a snob. But no, I'm gear-shifting. I wish they would appreciate how suddenly stressful that is. Even if it seems like I'm not doing anything, believe me, my brain is always going. I used to be able to be so focused, but it seems like working life has a knack for distracting me so often over the years, I think I've become ADHD. It's like my brain is "why bother putting energy in deep focusing? Something or someone is going to demand our attention. Just go through the motions."

[@madisong5276]

Ugh my husband got a new job and I’ve totally forgotten about multiple appointments. I’m normally so organized and a planner. It’s so frustrating

[@JuniperLucas555]

I’m terrible at remembering to brush my teeth, scheduling and planning is a nightmare, prioritizing just doesn’t happen and it takes me a half hour at least to get dressed for work and I don’t even wear makeup…

[@saml4004]

Wait….so are my executive functioning skills impaired because of ADHD or Autism…… 🤯🤔 I would be curious to know if executive functioning tends to be impaired more in people who are dual diagnosed Autism and ADHD vs just Autism or if there doesn’t really seem to be any difference

[@MrLeethium]

I strongly suspect i'm autistic, and executive functioning is the area i struggle the most at. What's very frustrating is i know my long term goal, but i struggle SO MUCH to identify all the steps i need to do to achieve it... And when something has more than 2 or 3 steps i get all confused it's so frustrating... Thanks for the tips.

[@rachelwong3474]

.I’ve been feeling soooo lost and isolated whole lifeee

[@benedixtify]

I _do_ like questionnaires, actually...

[@mirjamvanderheijden7895]

This is me and I really struggle with this. And also my environment. That is Why we argue al lot. I have my own practice physicaltherapy with my husband and it goes very well. And I'm happy, but it is heavy... I and still I don't want to work for a boss anymore. I'm also a late diagnostic mom with ASS 1,2 Adhd. Also my kids have this. I really like to listen to your video's. Thank you for you explanation! In Holland there is also nothing for women with adhd and ass. I'm thinking of writing a book, to explain how it is to have this as a (adult)women. Everything is about boys/ men. And there is one personal artical I could finding about ass en adhd within woman. I hope my language is oké. I have also dyslexia😅. Thank you again. Grtz Mirjam

[@shelbytimbrook2095]

I took that ESQ-R test, I got a 0 in organization. My problem is I get exhausted a lot, so me with energy has good executive functioning and me without energy has abysmal executive functioning and certain things drain me more than others like changing expectations or context switching where-as other things recharge me, like cleaning and organizing (aka putting things the way they should be).

[@AnnFBug]

I tried to take it and then came unstuck because it asked me to choose which American state I inhabit. I am not American; I’m British. I wonder how Taylor managed it, given that Canadian states were not there either? Why do they need to pin you to a state?

[@shelbytimbrook2095]

@@AnnFBug Eh, Minnesota is like American Canada.

[@hildalev]

I don't know if you or somebody will still see it, but I was wondering how you navigate executive function struggles in a relationship. I had trouble with it in the past and now I'm anxious to be in a relationship again knowing that I can really struggle even with daily tasks from time to time. How do you communicate about these things?

[@pteradactyl9799]

i’m single so i can’t give the best advice (sorry) but being honest from the start. just telling them that you struggle with certain things and it’s not based on their significance or worth to you. tell them that you’re trying to work on it and it’s not something that’ll disappear but something you’ll learn to cope with. i know it’s super cliché but the right person won’t shame you for struggling -we’re all human. but they’ll meet you where you’re at and want to help you grow

[@SauleNewell]

Beltre is such a pretty name ! And in French it sounds a lot like "Belle très", which would mean "Beautiful very" :3

[@lauranilsen8988]

I have a label gun but my big family doesn’t always READ the labels! 😩 I don’t have full control over my environment with 8 wonderful children (28-10 now, some with ADHD or ASD and one with Down Syndrome).

[@RolieKloeOlie]

I have so much executive dysfunction that for me to eat I have to work at a grocery store or else I can’t go anywhere to buy food

[@lizagervais8621]

I have a major problem with #1 -response inhibition. I don’t know how to fix it.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Although it is an unexciting answer, awareness is the first step. So the fact that you know this is an issue for you can be helpful. Self compassion is also very important! You don’t have to do things like other people do, even though sometimes I know you may want to.

[@jjdippel4152]

I have issues with "order." I try to put stuff in "steps." Sometimes step 3 must be done before 4 or 5 but something about 5 can affect 3. When I encounter that I freeze and cannot move forward.