EXERCISE AND WEIGHT GAIN IN RECOVERY Q&A W/ TABITHA FARRAR

[@sarahpelletier8653]

Every time I ear Tabitha speaking about ED, I keep thinking how we are lucky to have her. Her words are so helping, thank you!

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

Amen to that!!

[@lodenco691]

You are both gems. Thank you for your humility, vulnerability, strength, kindness, love and wisdom. You are saving and recovering lives.

[@franscine1232]

For those of you who lack an appetite, try to eat. Once you eat, you'll get an appetite. At least, that's what happens for me a lot of times in the morning when I'm not hungry.

[@jinran113]

Thank you so much for doing this. Tabitha is one of the smartest ED coaches I've ever seen. You choose the perfect topic. Exercise is so confusing. Will you do some more about it? thank you

[@EctoBabble]

omg yes, last night I finally was able to eat/enjoy a very sweet binge without guilt, I wasn't too hungry when I woke up but I had so much energy and I ate anything I wanted whenever I did. I'm seeing the gradual increasing joy I have towards food and social events and talking with people and my old passions coming back. I realized that my body was craving things and was mentally making me sad and anxious - When Tabitha talked about crying and eating - just - that was me all last week. I totally understand now. I totally understand. You just need to surrender to the cravings and listen to your body... I am so BEYOND GRATEFUL that this channel exists. I could not have started or been supported through starting this journey without it.

[@taniakyriakou1823]

Tabitha doesn’t like the term “intuitive eating” but I think she’ll find that the philosophy and people behind the book and term are very much aligned with Tabitha’s philosophy.

[@joycooper4023]

I know as an anorexic, I need to NOT consume “nutritional” information from sources outside the community. Part of my disease LOVES and feels addicted to all of these extreme diet trends. Thank you for touching on the movement out there now that slow metabolisms/starvation states etc are good for longevity. My anorexic brain wants to hold on to that and say SEE what you’re doing is RIGHT-its good for you.

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

Yes!! These kinds of bold and false claims are creating so much dysfunction!! We need to talk about it more often...

[@eleonoreconstant]

Tabitha is the best!!!

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

SHE IS :) It was an honor to speak with her and have her on the channel!

[@franscine1232]

Cutting out intense exercise was actually kind of nice in the beginning of my recovery. I had to walk about a mile everyday from the bus stop and I did yoga occasionally, but that was as far as my exercise regime went. I really wanted my period back. I felt like I had escaped this sort of prison where I'd been forced to run several miles everyday and jump rope for an hour. And then later in the day just pass out from the lack of energy...

[@AngryLibrarian]

Great discussion. I found Tabitha a few months ago and your channel last week. Ive been restricting and excessively excersing since 2006. 11 years of amenorrhea, hairloss, loneliness, being cold 24/7, compulsively excersizing, stress fractures, and a diagnosis of osteoporosis. Oct 2017 i finally started to make real efforts to get myself back. I truely love working out but ive drastically cut down my routinue. Im not allowing myself to workout 7 days a week, 3+ hours, and thru pain like in the past. I do find it challenging - of the few friends i have, im the workout motivator, the drill sargent that rallies the others for workouts. I feel soooooo guilty saying im taking a day off. I get so upset if i decide im too sore or decide i need a day off but others are going to the gym without me. Not sure how to not get angry with them. I feel like im a "slacker" and i fear ill end up resorting back to my compulsive behavior eventually.

[@lenajazuk4231]

I was in that kind of inpatient treatment Being very malnourished I was put on 1200 calories a day and I was hungry but I was afraid to address it because none of us were trusted and some of us were bulimics wishing to eat a lot So the first week I lost even more weight and only after weigh in they bumped my calories a bit We were taught to count calories and a lot of times my plates looked not normal like a half of hamburger and 3 french fries, an apple with a small piece cut off I have gained just enough to fit in to lowest BMI and my insurance stopped paying and I had to leave totally hooked on calorie counting and set number of calories for gains and maintenance Every time I eat calories are the first thing on my mind

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

Wow thank you for sharing.. This is ridiculous and I hope this changes for the future patients to promote long term sustainable recovery... There is so much misunderstanding in treatment facilities and insurance companies as to what the causes are and what the body is actually doing in order to heal! so frustrating... thank god for youtube and good sources on the internet to pick of the slack...

[@marjol3in]

So sorry for your experience. How are you doing now?

[@yung__ladyForLife]

I am so grateful for this video. Thank you thank you thank you so much Tabitha and Kayla. My background is I suffered from anoxia from the age of 16 until 20, I used to lose my appetite due to heartbreak, fasting for 7 days, dry fast for 72 hours a few times, bulimia, and binge eating. I feel so sorry for my body for letting people judgement affecting who I really am. I have been watching a lot of you video, and educating myself more about extreme hunger and 100% allowing myself to finally recover. I have been all in and letting myself eating whatever I want and whenever I want for a week now. I feel a lot of things, stressed, exhausted, fatigue....etc but I do know i am doing what my body needs rather than keep telling my body that it needs salad, and breast chickens. I hope to recover soon. :)) thanks for sharing all of these educational information and these experiences. ❤️ God bless you!

[@nagmerrie4600]

How os recovery going one year in ..please share ..good or bad ..

[@alibongois]

Tabitha, treatment centres.... When I was at a treatment centre I was hungry at night ALWAYS. I wasn't allowed any more food in day. I literally begged to have more food at night, and then let me have ONE piece of fruit. I ended up hiding food and smuggling it into hospital when I was on leave so I could eat more at night. Ketchup fruit, anything. It was mad.

[@edenlotjonen6797]

the last words from Tabitha were very needed!! Thank you for the whole video, it was amazing! ❤️

[@ellenseeley4765]

This is wonderfully informative and helpful; thank you, ladies!!

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

Thank you Ellen :)

[@abaslesregimes.sarahb.8366]

My two favorites ! The two most clever.

[@HopeHasWarriors]

This is AMAZING. I’m still trying to recover and this has been one of the most helpful videos or just...anything that I’ve *ever* heard or read. 💜 THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!😭💙 This was really healing. :’)

[@shantishanti5897]

I love the work of you two ladies! Both of you are doing wonderfull work, you are helping me so much. 10 (!)years in treatment centers did NOT help (they made me even more sick...all the meal plans, all the talk therapy....)...but thanks to your videos I am recovering finally = ) It is not easy, but I am on the way and so happy about it! Wonderfull Interview, thanks to both of you!

[@aiisty]

That was so interesting. Thank you so much for being so honest! Greetings from Switzerland

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

Thank you :) Greetings from California!

[@ababy6074]

I've had re-feeding syndrome three times. I was at 27kg. I'm in Australia. They treat it in hospital here, luckily.

[@AlexMiss92]

wow im so so sorry you had to go through that… could you share what were your symptoms and how your treatment went?

[@AlexMiss92]

@ oh no, that is so horrible.. i really hope things got much better for you after that❤️

[@i_h2081]

Favs chatting together so so helpful x

[@AshleyBitton]

Thanks ladies, this collaboration was great. It really put some of my fears and concerns at ease! xx :-)

[@life.unrestricted.withmere7354]

Gosh, I would looooove to see both of you ladies again in a ROUND TWO 2019!

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

I think that would be fun :) tabithas awesome!!

[@ramonasinclair3598]

This is so great, thank you!!

[@lvloverxo]

THANK YOU FOR THIS !!

[@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI]

Are you tired of your brain being so food focused and always hungry? 👉 Save your spot for my free masterclass where you’ll learn how to stop feeling obsessed with food (even if you've tried EVERYTHING without success at this point) → ​​www.damnthediets.com/register

[@morganplayer5356]

This is very helpful.

[@ababy6074]

Kayla, I've been anorexic since age 13 and I'm now 41. 28 years. My anorexia has put me in a month-long coma, and I've been at riwk of dying manyntimes and had re-feeding syndrome many times. Have you ever known anyone who has fully recovered after this long? And as old as I am?

[@emma_xx_xx5908]

Thank you for the video xx

[@clarahernandez5307]

Wonderful !!!! thank you very much

[@celinaplusfamily7792]

Hi Quick question can you please answer! How do you try to recover and allow your body to have whatever it wants in term of food if you suffer with autoimmune diseases thyroid, gut dysbiosis and candida. Should I give in to all the cravings?

[@erynmcentee7993]

You say to trust body regarding hunger and gaining but yet we can’t trust the insula saying “panic the body weight is changing.” Thus I’m confused about whether the hunger or perceived hunger is also not reliable. It’s difficult to know what to trust and what to ignore. Thanks

[@teleioswonder]

***warning: please don't read if you are triggered by ED thoughts and numbers. I've been binge watching your videos this week. A part of me really wants recovery and freedom (why else would I be watching the videos and looking for permission to eat?), and another equally strong part of me wants a skinny, small, prepubescent body. I'm at war with myself. Nearly 20 years of anorexia/restrictive eating, I'm 5'6 and got down to 95 lbs at my lowest. Not that a "low weight" in society's eyes really matters, I'm eating the same amount of calories that maintained that weight once upon a time but now I'm at a higher weight. A past friend said it's because "our metabolism slows as we grow older" - um, no, it's because I have a raging eating disorder and my body is fighting to live. It's crazy how most of society think 1200 calories a day is adequate for an adult woman. My past friend has a certificate in nutrition and talked about how calories don't matter as much but we should eat nutrient dense foods, and he was an advocate of cutting out carbs (they made him feel rotten and tired, he said!). I think he suffers from an ED, albeit not as advanced as mine. In rehab we were given a meal plan and not allowed any access to food otherwise. They feared us "binge-ing". Talk about reinforcing us not to trust ourselves or our body! It was a 12 step rehab which included eating disorders in the addiction category. No sugar was allowed in the facility. We had desserts but they were made with stevia or sugar alternatives. Anyway, I digress. Wish I could fully commit to recovery, one day at a time, as you say Kayla, but my mind can't deal with the weight gain. I developed body dysmorphic disorder (unrelated to my weight) at a young age - 10 years old. Later on in my teens, controlling my weight became a way to control the appearance of, or rather compensate for a particular "ugly" facial feature. It's all so contrived when I talk about it. If I eat, I balloon, especially my face (it looks so distorted and frightening), look like Quasimodo and I can't deal with that or letting other people see me like that. I recognize there is no way out of this, other than diving into recovery. I'm at a crossroads. Restrict even more, to get to a lower weight, and reinforce the illusion/sickness/long term damage to my organs etc. or fully commit to recovery. Because eating the semi starvation calories no longer gives me results (pay-off and dopamine from seeing the weight loss is not there) and makes me hungrier, suppresses my metabolism and gain weight. It's warped but eating less makes me less hungry. The moment I eat something yummy that I crave like lasagne, I lose all control. What a life. I spent all yesterday eating whatever I want, 1000's upon 1000's of calories, and today I feel sick, dizzy, headachey and nauseous. Water retention in my face and breasts (also a huge trigger, because I want to be almost flat chested). Sorry for the long rant! I am showing my ED hijacked brain for sure. Starvation definitely impacts mental health and reinforces obsessiveness and unhelpful perceptions. I'm doubly "blessed" because I had OCD/BDD before the ED. I think Kayla said this in one of her videos but can't remember which: "In recovery you manage your suffering, and in an eating disorder your suffering manages you" - a paraphrase, and apologies if you didn't say this. But it really resonates and demonstrates the paradigm shift. Yet, here I am, I need to be underweight to even allow myself to deserve to exist, to breathe, so I might as well not be alive with such a sick/conditional/distorted belief system, that creates so much suffering. I've tried so hard to challenge that belief but it's so embedded, so trauma-bound and shame drowned, and feels unretractable. Why does recovery have to feel like the absolute and total death of self for some people and not for others? I mean, I know it's hard for everyone, but I rarely hear of someone who had crippling body dysmorphic disorder, such trouble accepting themselves, there's usually an "I'm on the other side of body hate now" transformation at some stage. What if that's not possible for everyone? One of your guests talked about doing a photoshoot in her recovery, and how that helped her "feel good" about herself. That would be my utmost nightmare and lead to suicidal thoughts, for me. I can't align with the body positivism scene. It feels fake, for me, not saying it is fake for others. I can't feign self love or even manufacture it, it just leads me to feel more insecure, humiliated and unreal. Thanks for reading if you read this far.

[@fabuloushomeswestcoast]

I have the same problem as you very very bad self esteem, and recovery is so hard, and i stay in quasi recovery for 2 years now, i relapsed so many times, now i just keep gaining my metabolism is non existent. I wish every day i can be thin again, hate my body now, but i try now everyday to eat at least 2500 although i can eat far more, but damn its difficult im so afraid to gain more weight, afraid of cancer afraid of food, even though im still gaining and feeling like a pig.

[@erynmcentee7993]

You can eat the food and nutritional rehabilitate but not neural rewire and that is my fear. How do I make sure to do both in tandem?

[@Yettiboyranch]

I have EDNOS. My core problem is compulsive eating that developed at a very young age (7ish). My first binge was long before restricting at 8 years old. Then I restricted as a way to control my addiction to food. Now that I am trying to recover, I shouldn't just "eat as much as I want" like most anorexic recovery help states to do. I am at a complete loss for what to do. I've sought out professional help but no-one seems to know what to do to help me.

[@lacyladd1385]

im in the same place. even though i dont have answers...you are not alone at all. because that is my situation to a t

[@Silverwolf-hr6wi]

What if you're trying to recover for 12 years already and still not on a healthy weight even when you eat a lot 6 times a day, Isn't it bad for your body to eat even more and stop moving? I already have a lot of tension in my body and it keeps getting worse when i gain weight..I feel so alone in this..I'm really trying

[@yikelly1559]

Annie Hunter it’s all abt mentality , did u still restrict your food ?

[@Silverwolf-hr6wi]

Yeah i know, Been dealing with this for 14 years..I don't restrict anymore but i don't gain weight either..I have a lot of stress and it's having an impact on me mentally and most of all physically

[@yikelly1559]

Annie Hunter I sincerely hope u are better ! I lost my period for 4 months and ever since I tried hard to get back my normal foods , it still not helps ! Now I’m desperate I’m so afraid that I will never get my period back ! I’m so fearful 😧...i hipe my English is understandable bc I’m Chinese . Send u big hug 🤗

[@sjuno7156]

If you are not gaining weight with what you are eating, then you need to eat more. Your concept of what is 'alot' of food is not enough, if you are not a healthy weight. You won't know how your body really feels (with regard to the tension) until you have reached and maintained a healthy weight for a good while. Discomfort, aches, pains, digestive issues etc are all part of recovery, and often things get worse before they get better. You have to go through it to get to the other side.

[@atenglangit1]

@@Silverwolf-hr6wi maybe can try weight lifting

[@i_h2081]

Can I ask a tmi question 😳😳 Did you find with Ed you need to wee loads and sometimes so desperate even if you went recently... 🤔

[@nightandday7704]

yeah ed gives u weak bladder which i also experienced and heard a ed recovery u tuber talked about. i remember (this is tmi) my bladder was so weak to the point where it would leak even if i wasnt holding it that long or even if i didnt need the toilet it would just happen, and i would need to go ALWAYS after a meal, which now my bladder is sooooo much better. i feel like a normal person again :)

[@katharinecarter473]

Is it normal for all the weight I have gained is at my stomach?

[@AshleyBitton]

same here! I hear that it is normal, especially to protect your vital organs and then it redistributes eventually. Hang in there love!

[@katharinecarter473]

Wokeupwith Ashli it's super hard tho as the reason all this started was because I was insecure about my stomach and now it's worse then before lol

[@AshleyBitton]

I'm so sorry you are going through that, I can totally relate

[@winter767]

I had the same experience! But It will eventually redistribute:)

[@TwoSugarAndMilk]

@@winter767 hello! I would like to know how you are now? :)

[@erynmcentee7993]

When are food thoughts just thoughts to be ignored ?

[@chilltalkswellbeing]

Eryn McEntee never

[@maggiefraser8153]

Loneliness component!

[@lodenco691]

What an irony that a raw vegan diet of living foods could cause malnutrition due to digestive challenges and obsessing over every bite.