Experiencing domestic violence in a Mormon marriage

Рет қаралды 8,607

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 29

@jennyelsie 5 ай бұрын

Oh yeah, my ex was AP and he was not loyal to me. The AP prior to him was an awful husband to his wife (she and I were friends) and they ended up divorced too. So I agree, "AP" status is actually a red flag to me now. This was one of the best GirlsCamp episodes to date. Thank you for sharing, Gabby.

@ssrose18 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for this, domestic violence is definitely not talked about in the church very much. I'm glad you made it out safe! My ex would gaslight me all the time. He wasn't so much physics towards me but was very emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive. He's been physically violent towards our children and close personal objects. Wish I had the courage to speak up sooner. Going through the process of divorce sucked.

@livinglux9107 5 ай бұрын

This story speaks so much to how strong the influence of a shame and fear based culture can directly harm someone. I am so proud of this woman for chosing herself despite all the threats and manipulation. She is proof of how lifechanging it can be to speak the truth ❤

@jenniferglover9905 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for this. You could do more with her story. How court went, how work went or whatever. I grew up in the church and suffered shame of course but emotional neglect and abuse as a child and had suicidal ideation. I ended up a teen mom, ran away at 19 before the birth. Had a bad marriage and another child. Was a single mom most of my life. So many unsuccessful relationships. Unhelpful family and church situations. After covid i doubled down, got back to the temple and tried to get to a temple wedding and he shoved me to the ground hard. I left after 10 weeks, embarrassed and feeling foolish. I had tried everything. Finally my brother told he was out and it gave me permission to realize I didn't have to stay. I didn't have to squeeze into that picture. It was a relief to let it all go. It's been a year or so now. I'm 51 and can choose whatever. Sometimes I have no idea but I also don't have anyone looking over my shoulder. I'm free ❤

@aubrey6538 4 ай бұрын

I’m 30 minutes in and it’s like she’s telling my exact story minus the mission. I was an abusive marriage for 17 years and was told by bishops and state Presidents if I would just continue to read my scriptures and say my prayers and attend the temple things would work themselves out. I think the thing that really trapped me in it was families are “together forever“ and this is just such a small moment in time that when we are resurrected, he’ll be mentally healthy and that we will have this great eternal marriage and unfortunately, he did something really really bad and I ended up having to call the police, but it was the catalyst that led to my divorce, which I will always be grateful for. I am now remarried to a great never Mormon and have been out of the church for nearly 4 years. Thank you so much for sharing. this really resonated with me.☮️💜

@Jac-Jay 5 ай бұрын

I've watched many of these stories, both from women and men and I'm still shocked by the fear instilled in young Mormons, and I will always say that parents are to blame and the fact that this is still happening proves the point.

@hanako4475 5 ай бұрын

The way I gasped at 57:56! 😮 You are so strong, an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story. 💜

@amagr1990 5 ай бұрын

Wow, this was an eye opening podcast!! You are very brave Gaby, and I'm glad you were able to cut off strings with that guy and do what's best for you and your child!! Your story remained me a bit about this Netflix show "Maid".

@hollyhele3729 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! So impactful to talk about.

@nathanbigler 5 ай бұрын

This is an excellent podcast

@leelee132 5 ай бұрын

Now by. I m.

@gloomspell 5 ай бұрын

this was an amazing video thank you for sharing your experiences 🩷

@annamciver 5 ай бұрын

i never skip the ads. get that bag hayley❤️

@courtneybrewster8943 5 ай бұрын

we need a podcast on timpview lol. growing up mormon in other states vs timpview is WILD

@savannahcook7246 5 ай бұрын

Wow thank you for sharing your story gabby. This was so raw and vulnerable and brave. Wishing you the best and sending you and your kiddo love ❤

@livinglux9107 5 ай бұрын

In reference to the discussion around Porn- possibly an additional perspective to the “addiction vs normal use” convo. I want to point out that it is largely women being paid for unwanted sex and having to pretend they enjoy it. I’m all for sexual liberation but jerking off to unwanted traumatic sex under the guise of liberation is not it. As someone who was in the industry. I know my take is not the norm, but neither is working in the industry. Absolutely love your podcast and I know I have commented this before, but I always feel the need to point this out when we talk about “de-stigmatizing porn”. It also has perpetuated so many other issues in society largely related to women and what is being expected of young girls and women during sex. Paid sex is something we should strive to eliminate from society. Much love ❤

@Jac-Jay 5 ай бұрын

You're confusing porn with prostitution, porn is not largely about women being paid for sex and having to pretend they are enjoying it, that's just lies. Prostitution is partially that, as most women need to the money they make to survive, porn is an industry and a chosen career for participants and is the norm, just like any other career. They are not forced to be there. The fact that there's an addiction to porn is a problem with the person addicted and the life they are living and that's what needs work.

@bewitched3912 5 ай бұрын

No. I disagree. Mormon men will still make gross sex demands on wives because they are told they are the patriarch and all authority comes from HIS priesthood. Joseph Smith raped children and Brigham Young instituted sexual slavery. Boys and men are told "masterbation is next to murder" so they force themselves onto their wives, girlfriends and even relatives because rape us not as bad as masterbation in this sexual culture because the Bishop will NEVER call the police on priesthood holders who molest kids and rape women. There's nothing wrong with sex workers or porn, it's sexual assault that is an actual crime. Your problem is you are believing Mormon men are being corrupted but when Ashley Madison accounts were exposed, more men were paying to cheat on their wives than men who were not signed up in SALT LAKE CITY. MORMON MEN ARE BEING CORRUPTED BY THAT STUPID RELIGION BECAUSE OF COURSE THE BISHOPS KNEW. THEU KNOW WHICH MEN BEAT THEIR WIVES AND WHICH ONES RAPE THEIR OWN LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS AS YOUNG AS SIX WEEKS OLD. SEE THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA AND ADAMS IN ARIZONA CASE.

@michelleweaver8048 5 ай бұрын

@@Jac-Jay porn is still people being paid for sex. Also, there is a huge problem with women and children being exploited and recorded against their will, and that porn being posted online. So yes, the porn industry and porn consumption of any kind is problematic, because you have no way of knowing when you watch porn what level of consent the parties involved were actually giving.

@livinglux9107 3 ай бұрын

@@Jac-Jay having unwanted sex for money is traumatizing wether you call or porn or prostitution, which porn is just legalized prostitution for other’s enjoyment. I have participated in both. Women who go into this industry have largely been raised in environments where it was normal to be assaulted, abused otherwise or exploited. 86% have experienced r*pe before exposure to the industry. They are typically without the same resources or economic mobility as others and putting themselves thru traumatic experiences to make a living. How many porn stars do you know? Why do men have so much confidence when speaking on issues they have no personal insight to when it directly benefits them in the first place?

@JennaTyleristhecoolest 2 ай бұрын

Yes, having been married in the temple to an actual porn addict, and living and Utah where it’s almost normalized was so difficult to ask for help getting out of an abusive marriage

@BunnyWatson-k1w 5 ай бұрын

This is a problem in evangelical Christian churches too. The guy seems like he meets the checklist of all the good qualities. He says he is a Christian, believes the whole thing. Then the woman falls for it and accepts the proposal. They get married and the abuse starts shortly after. It can be emotional abuse at the start and is explained away by the wife as the husband is under stress at work or school. Then the physical abuse starts and is initially explained away by the wife. I even know one woman whose husband abused her physically after just one month married. The abuse escalated to the point at year one in the marriage he put her in the hospital for three weeks. He was charged by the police and she left the marriage. The lesson is to always look for red flags before marriage if possible. In LDS and Evangelical Christian dating, the law of chastity is a problem. A couple are sexually attracted to each other. That is not a reason to get married. And there is no magic time limit to get married. There is nothing wrong with waiting at least a year before getting engaged. My Nana used to say men show their true self in four different seasons as their moods change. Women also don't need to enable men. A man who truly loves a Christian woman will not sexually manipulate her before marriage. And he will not coerce or control the woman mentally or physically. And he should not force himself on her. We have a problem in the LDS and other churches about issues of sexual consent, learning boundaries, and self-esteem.

@mackenziearnold8362 5 ай бұрын

oh my gosh i knew her ex husband! i’m so so sad for her and wish her the best❤❤

@BunnyWatson-k1w 5 ай бұрын

A lot of YSA or young women will not go to their bishop for fear of having to lose the temple recommend. Or having other restrictions placed on the woman. And who else do you go for help? To Relief Society? To Elder's Quorum President?

@BunnyWatson-k1w 5 ай бұрын

At 30:42. If a woman has a bf confess to watching porn online, that's a red flag. That man will be critical of his gf and later wife about her body, sexual performance, etc. based on what he thinks he knows about women. But porn is a fantasy. It is not real life. If the young man or YSA or SA male thinks it is, that will enter the marriage and create problems.