explaining the hyperfemininity aesthetic

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Edited by Israh S.
SOURCES
Pink and Blue Telling the Boys from the Girls in America by Jo Barraclough Paoletti
Women’s Bodies and Power in the US by Vincent Soubeyrand
Because she’s worth it: the natural blonde from Grace Kelly to Nicole Kidman by Pam Cook
Gentlemen Prefer Adaptations: Addressing Industry and Gender in Adaptation Studies by Bethany Wood
The Color(s) of Perfection: The Feminine Body Beauty Ideals, and Identity in Postwar America, 1945-1970 by Elizabeth M. Matelski
www.nylon.com/life/bimbo-summ...
www.vox.com/2015/4/14/8405889...
www.cnn.com/2018/01/12/health...
www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2022...
www.todayifoundout.com/index....
artreview.com/the-politics-of...
sea.mashable.com/entertainmen...
hypebae.com/2022/3/tiktok-bim...
www.bustle.com/life/bimbofica...
www.thecut.com/2021/12/reclai...
i-d.vice.com/en/article/5dpjm...
www.rollingstone.com/culture/...
thebaffler.com/outbursts/the-...
0:00 - intro
6:38 - explaining the aesthetics
11:04 - the history
23:04 - the discourse

[@muhseh]

I know ppl can't catch everything into a 37 min video but don't forget Nicki Minaj was also huge in hyperfeminity in rap, Pink friday, the pink print, she's called the black barbie and her fanbase is called the barbz. Her signature color is PINK, and she was one of the main reasons why I embraced my feminity and stopped the "not like other girls" phase. She helped normalize being unashamingly GIRLY in rap culture

[@anunknownperson4018]

Yep Nicki Minaj did represent the black barbie i still remember her mv that somehow involve pink

[@muhseh]

@@anunknownperson4018 her recent music video super freaky girl is so pink barbie i love it lol

[@destinysade4230]

I agree, but also Lil Kim paved the way.

[@muhseh]

@@destinysade4230 Def, and foxy brown

[@destinysade4230]

@@muhseh Absolutely! Kim started wearing colored wigs, girly feminine fashion, did barbie like photo shoots/magazine covers in the 90’s & even talked in a high pitched “valley” like voice, apart from her raunchy/aggressive lyrical persona. While Foxy brought the very chill laid back feminine flow. I just wish Nicki acknowledged and paid more homage to her. She wouldn’t have had that “Black Barbie” aesthetic if it wasn’t for the original. She has a closer relationship to Foxy though.

[@whoknowsatthispoint7508]

I really agree that femininity needs to stop being demonized, but as someone who actually took the time to explore femininity, and relearn that I didn't like it, people really do need to stop assuming that "unlearning internalized misogyny" means "learning to like being feminine". It becomes a full circle of forcing girls to be femme to be accepted again

[@phosphenevision]

Yes! It's also like not one or the other, you can like being feminine and masculine, you can be any combination in-between and beyond ✨️

[@Lizard14]

So we can't be feminine and can't NOT be feminine...what CAN we do? You're also misunderstanding a part of it. It's not that people think unlearning internalized misogyny = being feminine. It's that years of pretending/trying not to like feminine things left many wanting to finally be free to do what they want. And that, for many, is being feminine. No shame in that.

[@awhimsyreader9015]

THIS! Unlearning internalized misogyny should be about not judging other women for choices they make or how to present themselves not changing the way you change yourself despite not liking it,the amount of girls who get accused of being NLOGs just because they like dressing more masculine is ridiculous

[@annier5914]

yes exactly

[@sierrabuffum963]

Thissss!!!

[@MaliceInCandyland]

Marilyn Monroe's Lorelai wasn't dumb; she said that she pretends to be dumb because, until she met her fiance, she never met a man who liked it when she showed off her smarts. Her fiance, who is a nerd, admires her intelligence.

[@eireduchess]

I feel like bimbocore is a direct result of and pushback to the “I’m not like other girls” movement of the early to mid 00s this idea that you had to be ‘different’ or ‘one of the guys’ you didn’t ‘create drama’. Chrissy Chlapecka says “be happy, do what you want” and I 100% agree

[@tarabreeden6298]

Yes Chrissy was left out if this video and she was one of the main reasons bimbocore took off. Her perception of what it means was left of out this video and I think that would have added a lot of context to the meaning of bimbocore

[@lainiwakura1776]

Actually, in the early 2000s, and I should know, I was old enough to remember, we were at peak "do whatever you want and stop judging (except celebrities, judge the hell out of them)."

[@mafaldaviana9060]

Essentially: "I AM like other girls, and other girls are AMAZING!"

[@Arginne]

I was in high school during this time and I dont remember that being a thing at all. All the paris y2k stuff though yes. Not like the other girls wasnt something I remember at all.

[@El_Ratto]

Chrissy chalpecka is a misogynistic, male Catering lib

[@missmyk]

Who else is in the "Repressed My Femininity Until I Was An Adult" Gang? 🙋‍♀️

[@jaylaoliver6725]

🙋🏾‍♀️

[@UnsortedSeeds]

🙋🏽‍♀️

[@leticiavillalobos5247]

YES YES YES, I absolutely have a love for fashion, color and showing skin!

[@AngelaEAwesome]

I still feel like i am too ugly to wear pink. But i stopped hating it.

[@HikaruxMaru]

finally old enough to have the confidence to stand up for myself and others

[@Martina_B]

I think being a tomboy is only considered accettable as long as you're feminine presenting, straight and attractive.

[@jomaq9233]

It seems like society is less likely to shun gender nonconformity, but only in appearance with men, and only in personality in women When people say that a man is too “womanly”, they’re more likely to criticize his personality, whereas when a woman is considered too “mannish”, they’re more likely to criticize her appearance

[@aspen1713]

THIS! Pretty, feminine-presenting tomboy: "omg she's so cool, she's just one of the guys." Less traditionally attractive / feminine tomboy: "Ew, she must be a d*ke"

[@corpedatlanta]

@@jomaq9233 Thats not true if u are feminine in personality or appearance as a male or other way around for women they will criticize

[@jomaq9233]

@@corpedatlanta that is true though, but I did specify that this is what’s more likely to happen

[@char6081]

Should’ve just said pretty

[@Tuliphero]

I had a funny childhood because my dad has this standard that I can't be too feminine because "girly girls never focus on studies" also I can't be too masculine "because I'm a girl". It definitely took a toll in me expressing myself and I'm still trying at age 25 :')

[@dajanaabulatovic]

Giiirl be yourself!

[@mickipou]

I'm uber girly and omg it never stopped me like from studying?? He's just like speaking lies omg My dad could never I have higher grades than he did when he was a teenager XD

[@alphauno6614]

@@dajanaabulatovic What does that even? Everyone is shaped by society's influences.

[@alphauno6614]

@@mickipou Well for all the girls who think they don't need to study because they can land a millionaire based on solely their looks would make the Dad 100% right

[@sabrina1380m]

I can relate to you Now I'm trying to explore styles and find what I'm comfortable with.

[@s.tiaira9081]

I hate that you can’t dress how you want without it being a statement. Here’s this for a statement: I wore it bc I felt like it and it was clean. That’s it 👏🏽

[@brittanys505]

I kinda agree but for a lot of people it is a way of self expression and fashion is a whole world in itself to be understood. I went to a strict middle school and we basically had to wear uniforms and it was just such a shit school. In this school the art classes felt competitive and we were just learning techniques nothing about what art is at all like we never got to discuss our feelings on any pieces, it was just recreate this and make it pretty. I had one teacher write my name on the board for possible detention for making a paper airplane, I had no intention of throwing it but some guy took it and threw it. I felt very much restricted on what I could say and do and the adults there were just talking down to students all the time so by the time I got to pick my clothes for school again & took a college art class, making a bit of money, I feel a lot more free and inclined to make statements.

[@alcottasmr]

Also the same thing with body hair! I’m not against making a feminist statement but I’m generally not trying to make a social stance, I’m just too lazy to shave my legs lol.

[@s.tiaira9081]

@@brittanys505 an outfit can definetly be a statement sometimes but at other times it's just an outfit

[@caidalee1994]

Right? “What did you mean to say when you wore this?” Idk, that I like it and it’s cute? That it was what was in arm’s reach when I woke up late this morning? Not everything is that deep.

[@irmar]

@@caidalee1994 Yes but there was something that made you pick this piece of clothing among other clothes in the shop (or the ones hanging in your wardrobe). This something, your taste, comes from your views on life, on what expresses your aesthetic as a woman, what you think this makes you look as, and how you want to appear to others. And I'm sure most women have different styles of clothes for different occasions, depending on the image they want to project.

[@rachaelgill3698]

It’s so sad to realize as an adult, when I was a child, how deeply embedded my internalized misogyny was towards myself. I hated pink and I hated being girly. I genuinely was taught by just watching mannerisms and how people talked about and to women that being feminine was fucking stupid and dumb and weak. Now I love pink.

[@SeaStarTea]

Same!

[@unseenmolee]

same but now im trans :)

[@OtterTich]

One adult teacher straight out called my 9 y/o friend a whore for being "too feminine". That how bad it was… So to avoid being a "whore", many went opposite ways, including me. Sad :(

[@clovertea3686]

I feel like a TON of girls unfortunately have this internalized misogyny. Even me, who currently adores hello Kitty, pink, and cute little feminine things, used to HATE being cute. When I was really young, I was fine, but once all this “I’m not like the other girls” posts and ideas came out online I began hating my feminine side and thought that I couldn’t be strong and smart if I was “too feminine” really dumb shit because no matter how feminine you are, that doesn’t determine your IQ or ability to succeed.

[@FairyPhantasia]

Gave you 600 👍🏻

[@dedepizzuto6405]

90% of my life was spend living this fake tomboy aesthetic even though i loved all things girly. Why? because being feminine was attached to all things horrible like pr0st1tut1on, evilness, etc. Back then girls i knew who were hyperfemme like my cousin my teacher a mom's friend, they were all called the most terrible things. Nowadays the hyperfemme look is being popularized by music artist actresses like cardi b, alexa demie (though she's more of a dark one) and NOW i'm finally comforted enough to wear hot pink miniskirts out in public but i get called a "basic b1tch" or a "trend-follower" when in reality i was just comfortable enough to finally show the true me. It's crazy how societies view on hyperfemininity changes every two business days.

[@trulymia__]

Yes!! Same!!

[@lisettegarcia]

"every two business days" 😹 [*ten snaps*]

[@More13Feen]

I can relate to that a lot. My mum saied she hated pink and frowned at overly girly things. So I saied I diden't like it. As an adult I discovered I LOVE pink

[@Olivertwiztd]

Also the fact that you get called a basic bitch for wearing those types of things is just an obnoxious example of how there is no, “right” way to be a woman 🙃

[@drella1775]

the internalized misogyny was so real in my family growing up, only as i’ve become an adult have i been able to start talking to my mom about it and working on building her and myself up. i feel this so much.

[@lujennii]

i remember being called “girly girl” (in a derogatory way) in elementary because i love pink, barbie and things like that. when i think about it it’s crazy how internalized misogyny was taught at such a young age. it took me a while but im now verryyy happy and confident about my feminine side

[@coconutpops8260]

you are so stunning

[@robyn6454]

I think the worst thing about glamorising a financial dependence on men isn’t so much about it’s implications on an aggregate level, it’s the fact that it’s encouraging women into relationships where it’s extremely difficult for them to leave, thus setting them up for a high risk of manipulation and abuse

[@waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa9739]

Yup there should be way more discourse on that to be honest. Just because you're provided for shouldn't mean that financial literacy is off the table, you still need to be able to go completely independent if things come down to that.

[@robyn6454]

@@waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa9739 financial literacy alone isn’t enough though; at the end of the day what happens if you have kids to take care of but you have 0 assets and have been out of the workforce for 10 years, you can be financially literate but finding a job after such a prolonged time off will be extremely difficult

[@robyn6454]

@John Grigg what about it? In an abusive situation the rich partner is very likely to have set up their assets so that their partner will receive nothing in the case of divorce: it’s called financial abuse

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Exactly. These girls have no idea what really occurs behind the white picket fence within which some will be trapped

[@yellaninpoppin9919]

Nah. It's more of a high maintenance barbie, but I also don't need your money and have several sugar daddies-core for me. Barbie wasn't dependent on Ken, but expected him to provide if he was in her life. When you save your money and diversify, they cannot control you. My home, lifestyle, bank accounts receive deposits by many Men and and are in MY name. The bimbo has evolved.

[@toomuchpassion2361]

"You go into Harvard?" "what, like it's hard?" One of the best moments of Legally Blond. Elle getting into Harvard wasn't enough because the movie implied that she got in partially because the old, white men making the admission decisions saw her in a bikini and found her attractive. Elle had to prove herself to everyone, including the audience, by doing well in law school before we all finally acknowledge her brilliance. Which she always had. You don't get a 4.0 in college without being smart, it doesn't matter what your major is.

[@user-ct3tw2gs5w]

Not to mention a 179/180 on the LSAT! Anyone with those stats + Elle's extracurriculars would almost definitely get into Harvard Law or another top tier law school (spoken as someone who has friends at Harvard Law and briefly considered going to law school myself)

[@pulangrosas7255]

Wait but no one is dumb let’s be honest. Also based on research IQ doesn’t typically matter in performance apparently. Although I still don’t think people are dumb anyways.

[@RS-mu9cw]

She’s fictional

[@lemonpepperwingz4351]

@@RS-mu9cw So? People can still take messages from fiction too. Don't be that person who's like "Why are you crying over this scene? It's just a cartoon".

[@lainiwakura1776]

@@lemonpepperwingz4351 Don't be that person who takes fiction too seriously either.

[@sassypoodle7973]

“It was really hard to have an unabashed joy in your femininity.” THAT PART!!!!

[@theitgirl4471]

Can we also please talk about the fact that music/books/movies loved by young girls are often demonised by society as stupid/cringe/superficial? (The Twilight saga, One Direction, Justin Bieber, Legally Blonde, and so on..)

[@manicpepsicola3431]

@@theitgirl4471 even though legally blonde is an amazing legal movie lol

[@janinebelleestrada7096]

Just recently I developed a live for pastel pink and dull pink. And now my glasses are pink, my bag is pink my overalls is oink, my sneackers is white snd my hair is short and even ny phone cover is pink. The pink makes me feel so young and innocent for some reason. Same with my friends now they love pastel colours and we all enjoy those cute Colors together. We even buy cutesy bangles and cute phone dangles and play multiplayer in dress up nikki.

[@lenab4637]

How did we go from "women are pressured to perform femininity" to "its not feminist unless you're performing femininity". Nah its just the commodification of female empowerment dressed up in feminist slogans. How about we stop focusing SO MUCH on what women wear day to day, and treat dressing up like the hobby that it is. smfh

[@dirt1688]

@@theitgirl4471 Twlight is superficial, it's okay to admit that. It is riddled with misogyny and unhealthy relationshops packaged as "interesting" and "exciting."

[@Neenz718]

The saddest part is that I don’t even have to participate in the aesthetic of bimbo core to be perceived as one or objectified. The fact that I am Latina, full busted, and bottom heavy is enough to place me in that category. My entire adult professional life I’ve had to carefully think about my wardrobe and who may feel “offended” by what I’m wearing or how seriously both men and women in the workforce would take me. All this on top of colorism and racism.

[@emmyandboo]

I agree - I am also latina, also have huge boobs and a slim body and it's always in my mind everytime I get dressed - I wore a top the other day which was literally a sweater short sleeved modest top that looked great but anything I wear - looks "provocative" because of my big boobs. When I was a teen I wore hoodies all the time to hide them, but now I don't care what people think about me.

[@yellaninpoppin9919]

I own it because they think of us this way anyway due to our bodies. I just look like a bimbo but my mind is business and so are my actions. If Men want to care for me, I'm taking it. I use them as a tool.

[@wolfsmaid6815]

I´m a blonde with a naturally large chest too - however it´s so easy to just dress differently and be perceived as modest or intelligent. You are not a victim of other peoples perception, it´s entirely in your control. In one of my favourite bars I have earned the nickname "Madame Professor" by a lot of people who never even talked to me just because I dress in modest 1920s-1940s clothes including the accessories etc. Dress for your body type and for the scenario, problem solved.

[@Sheristen]

yes! As a black woman with a pear shape I was shamed a lot for how I walked swaying my hips, when literally I have to walk like that to keep my balance. And I carefully hid my bum under long or loose wardrobes to prevent being glared at growing up. There's a lot of shame that's hard to unlearn in adulthood. I wanted to wear tight jeans like "the other girls" but whatever looks decent and modest on thin bodies looks "wrong" on curvy bodies. They think we dress for attention. Um. no. it's extremely difficult to hide all this ass

[@ghosty8193]

Totally agree! I'm white and my bsf is black. We have the same body type (curvy and busty) and whilst I also have to be careful, my friend's 'issues' are with racism (we had an old coworker who called her 'mami' because of her curves)... gross.

[@user-jn8iw9td2f]

I am often not taken seriously. I was interrupted, men often repeat my own words, explain elementary things to me. I'm in the "traditionally masculine field," which is especially hard. in one of the next cases, I asked - why do you treat me like that? the answer was: "if you don't want to be treated like this, cut your hair short, take off your eyelashes, eyebrows, nails, stop wearing make-up" ... I will NEVER stop doing this. fuck patriarchy

[@FIREENGINE3]

SAME!!!!!!! I’m the ONLY woman there, and I’m very hyper feminine. I’ve even heard bimbo jokes behind my back

[@salishanmusic]

Which is fake af. That’s just a lie they tell more femme women. If you’re a women they don’t care about what you have to say. Period. I’m gnc but I also have big boobs so that makes me a bimbo either way according to guys like that. 🙄 We just can’t win.

[@ingridaguero6460]

You can always become friends with their wives, sisters, daughters and threaten to expose them

[@homecentipede]

The fucked up thing is that as someone who grew up and presented as a gender non-conforming butch woman, a lot of dudes made fun of me for not performing femininity for them or they just straight up ignored my existence. You're expected to still perform some level of femininity for them, but also not too much, apparently. It's such a stupid line to walk.

[@siilverREAL]

ughhhh im still a teenager but i feel this 😭 im one of the only women in my computer science class and while the other kids are fine with me (known them for years lol) our new teacher explains basic shit to me and nobody else. like not even stuff related to computer science at this point its basic stuff like how to make a table in google docs. at first i thought it was due to the fact that i have a lot of mental illnesses but once when my friends were talking about violent video games and he was acting like fighting was too much for my sensitive feminine ears to hear 😭 like bro....

[@razmiddle9410]

It's a bit surprising to hear a talk about this aesthetic without even a mention of Nicki Minaj, and what bimbo-core and Barbie-core specifically means to Black women. Her Barbie aesthetic was a huge deal for a while.

[@steamyvegetables1445]

Reminds me of Doja Cat's Hot Pink Albam.

[@thaithaikwtxval56]

Yeah in suprised too, they are my favs

[@legslikewhoa]

She’s the reason I finally feel comfortable stepping into my femininity, unapologetically.

[@graetrinity1724]

Yes! She was such an influential figure to many young black people, especially queer ones

[@gabrielarivera8058]

Nicki Minaj was past this era. I think she’s important but she was past this specific time

[@Chuuzus]

*patiently waiting for your Do Revenge fashion Review*

[@nati7925]

ugh yes! the movie was …. but i loved the fits

[@ellaocean]

Then do a 💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽 critique

[@onceblinkandstay]

Yes me too!

[@VaniPeace]

omg yes

[@angeliquemagboo]

I second the motion.

[@cscreative5460]

As a black woman I can talk as soft as I want, and wear pink exclusively, however I would never be allowed to lean into cosplayed unintelligence and ease. As you said, the visibility is definitely not there, however, even if it was it couldn’t be a “out of the house” practice.

[@lainiwakura1776]

If you haven't tried, then be quiet.

[@writeminded6091]

@@lainiwakura1776 how about you “be quiet” period?

[@salishanmusic]

@@lainiwakura1776 shut up

[@Pink_pr1ncess]

@@lainiwakura1776 you want to dumb yourself down to be liked by men? Sad.

[@purejudas]

@@lainiwakura1776how about you shut up? 😋🤘🏼

[@schoki1236]

In a lot of european countries pink was originally for boys because it was seen as the small red, which was the colour of the kings. Light blue was for girls because Mary wears a blue headcover in a lot of depictions and she was seen as the woman every little girl should beaspire to be like

[@mariepoppo8573]

This was interesting to read. Thanks for sharing!

[@popcorncentral8457]

I'd wear any color that suits my complexion. 😊

[@Lorena-eh5cl]

This is so interesting. I never even considered that “dumb blondes” were invented by men who felt threatened. And it makes SOOO much sense 🤯

[@bal9944]

As a natural brunette, I think the hyper sexualisation of blonde women in media (playboy, Pamela Anderson, Anna Nicole Smith, Marilyn and so on) is disturbing.

[@AvaNightingale]

@@bal9944 as a blonde woman THANK YOU It was so deeply scary when I was growing up, everything I did was sexualized, everything I was... Part of why I struggled with my feminity and even headed into pick me/MRA territory. Eventually I threw that off but it harmed me so much and I was sexually harassed and assaulted so often that I have no good things to say about being blonde and even semi attractive in society.

[@mistress.villaina7591]

@@AvaNightingale I'm sorry. I understand how being considered attractive has its downsides. I'm not blonde but that notion of dumb or bimbo blonde is so demeaning

[@stealthis]

Thought dumb blondes also apply to men as well

[@nosoulnoproblem3368]

Blonde hair and blue eyes are probably considered particularly non-threatening, naive (or dumb/uneducated), innocent etc. because of babies, even when they later get darker hair or different hair colors, are often blonde and have blue eyes. Now connect all of it and be disturbed 👀

[@RubaiyatofVenus]

I spent so much time not liking feminine things as a child because being feminine was associated with weakness and a bunch more negative traits. I’m glad we started changing up that narrative, even though it was never really true to begin with. I hope we also get to see more women of color in extremely hyper feminine aesthetics and in different forms of media. The strong black woman trope is tired and perpetuates harmful ideas and treatment of us because people think we can handle it. It’s time for us to be ditzy and extremely girly without being called white for it

[@IoIita]

THIS!!!

[@MrLakers92]

Ditzy?

[@mariag7643]

I feel the same way. I only recently started embracing hyper femininity at 25 ✨

[@mauve9266]

I remember having a bit of an opposite experience as a black girl, feeling the need to dress hyper feminine to like affirm my girlhood 😅 it is nice now to embrace hyper-femininity without feeling the weird obligation to do so 😌

[@user-bz7sf6ev2v]

Black femininity >>>>

[@Lunautau101]

I love pink. I just hate being _forced_ to wear pink, which is why I had an aversion as a kid. My mom embarrassed me by making me go to school in a hot pink get up with a pink backpack, “for her” because I was already a bit tomboyish in style, and I hated the color and femininity as a whole as a result until I was in college, realized I actually do want to be feminine, and now I do like pink. _Pastel pink._ I still dislike hot pink, I’m sorry it’s offensive to my eyes. 😭 Lesson here: Stop forcing gender standards on your children, you just delay their self discovery.

[@brigiboda4910]

The word "bimbo" is particularly funny to me, because bimbó in Hungarian means rosebud but also nipple. So fitting for this aesthetic!!

[@RozWBrazel]

language is fascinating

[@lilifel]

Every woman has different tastes in fashion and wearing a style doesnt have to define someone's ideology

[@HJima]

agreed, style doesnt correlate to identity or personality

[@tally3067]

@@HJima maybe because it used to in subcultures that people still think it does?

[@lavose8709]

True but if you have a style that's from a certain subculture then you have to have those beliefs (ex: punk is a political subculture).

[@lilithmorsmusic]

it does if you want it to

[@TheYoungKilljoy]

Gracias

[@alessandrasmith339]

The negativity towards hyper-femininity hurt! As a child I had the two trains of thought which made me turn away from presenting feminine: 1) I was not pretty enough to perform femininity, and 2) femininity would bring unwanted attention towards myself and would make me out to be dumb. I was already insecure about being ugly so I didn’t want to seem dumb, too! The misogyny of the early 2000s really ruined a lot of my fun as a youth.

[@annianxiety5408]

Yes! But I have these toughts still even I’m almost 30 years old now. I was literally bullied to become more neutral with my looks and intrests and it’s very hard for me to start being my hyper feminine self again because I know how much hate and violence I could get if I would be like that again.

[@denisededs]

What you said about not being pretty enough, I felt the same. I had a super-attractive sister, so I was kind of the ugly one. I wanted to be taken seriously and felt silly when dressed feminine. Like you, I didn't want to feel ugly and dumb at once!

[@laci6342]

@@denisededs I literally feel this way as an adult. 😭

[@onceuponamelody]

Yes, this! I still struggle with being feminine, but I have also realized that there are many ways to be feminine.

[@stellaarcher2062]

+1

[@screwyourhandle]

Japanese Lolita fashion seems to have the same mentality of rebellion through hyperfemininity, but achieves it in the opposite way, by being modest and old-fashioned. I guess Bimbos are more similar to Gyaru. The thing that bothers me about Bimbos is the association of femininity with stupidity. Even though they're reclaiming it, they're still making that association.

[@draadhaartje]

but in a way, lolita fashion (and i may be completely wrong, so source and correct me pls) has some associations to child-like aesthetics. I'm thinking pastels, hello kitty, but also giggling and such behaviorisms. The brain of a child isn't fully developed. So one could argue that in a way there is the same "smooth brain" acting

[@pinkerhero]

mmm idk. there's a lot of Lolita sub categories, Gothic, classic, sweet (you're probably thinking of), and others. I primarily associate Lolita fashion with elegance and sophistication, no where near youthful as kidcore or fairy kei as most proper co-ords/outfits are more restrictive and put together, especially with petticoats, than any child would wear.

[@pinkerhero]

also, hello kitty is far less likely to be a popular character, as lolita fashion brands like angelic pretty have their own designed characters in their prints. other than fun colors there's not really much direct links to common kid associations my dude

[@anotheronechompsthedust9618]

im not sure 'old-fashioned' could be used to describe Lolita fashion with their colorful dolly dresses full of frills and bows

[@cardyn1836]

@@anotheronechompsthedust9618its based off porcelain dolls n shit

[@ribbonquest]

I grew up blonde at the height of the dumb blonde jokes era. And I wore glasses, so I was supposedly dumb and smart at the same time.

[@johnindigo5477]

Did people expect you to be a different person without glasses?

[@solus8685]

Same. "you're so blonde" was synonymous with "you're stupid". Like wtf, it's just a hair color??

[@Victoria-oe7gu]

Although I don’t remember it, when I was in kindergarten I dressed VERY girlie, tons of bracelets stacked on my little arms and such. My mom said I came home crying once because my teacher told me that it was not a “fashion show” for me to dress the way I was dressing. But I was literally a child, dressed mostly by my mother and I just enjoyed excessive jewelry. I don’t know why she had the nerve to make that comment.

[@ChristinaMBasler]

I had a teacher say the same thing to me in 6th grade, didn’t stop me though 😂

[@friendlyghost1688]

Im sorry to hear that you went through that 😔 kids and even adults should be able to express themselves however they want. And i hope you are happy wearing all the bracelets that your heart desires, dont let people make you feel afraid to be yourself 💗

[@izzyc127]

I’m sorry that happened to you! I hope you’re doing well and still being yourself!

[@click2112]

That makes me so sad :( there's nothing wrong with being a girl

[@LR200.]

Your teacher was probably jealous because she couldn't couldn't dress that way or she would be called immature for her age.😁😆🤣

[@RS-mu9cw]

I would like to know how they’re anticapitalist when so much of the aesthetic relies on buying things that fit the look

[@foteinilamprouli5005]

All of the aesthetic trends rely on buying things to fit the look. The video mentions that bimbos "reject the capitalist mentality that they should showcase marketable skills". Although they might be more materialistic than others, at least thy are not always flexing working, hassling and girl-bossing.

[@RS-mu9cw]

@@foteinilamprouli5005 so that would make them primarily consumers then.

[@RS-mu9cw]

@@foteinilamprouli5005 I know it can be depressing to have others push work culture but didn’t the original feminists fight for women to enter the workplace and make their own money? For their own independence away from men. Obviously there are exceptions and we should always help those who are unable to work but shouldn’t women still strive for self sufficiency if able? The approach to anti capitalism mentioned in the video won’t make capitalism disappear. It’s important to be make conscious choices that help others. Not just individual choices that help one person alone. Despite choosing to not participate in a capitalist society the things Bimbos buy from capitalist companies employ and exploit mostly POC women in poorer countries to make them. These women don’t have the luxury of opting out in a similar way. Choosing to consume in an unconscious way just makes the workers’ (who are majority women… often children) lives harder and lines the pockets of people who own for example fast fashion companies, most of which are men. I think there could be something to be said about how wasteful and selfish “aesthetic” living can be in general. I don’t think the people involved in the production of cheap aesthetic clothing even have time to consider it like we do.

[@foteinilamprouli5005]

@@RS-mu9cw I agree about the consumerism problem. However I think that the capitalistic work culture is equally harmful, it actively supports the same system, with all the interwoven exploitation you have mentioned.

[@Rin-jz4ul]

Because wanting to look good doesn’t equal wanting capitalism around still

[@Muffintree14]

I have ADHD, a love of fashion, and a fairly high pitched voice, who also had anxiety (from the adhd) and cried a lot. AKA got called a bimbo or made fun of for being “ditzy” all through my childhood and teenage years. I hated it, and hid the feminine parts of myself for years to try to get away from that perception because I felt disrespected and belittled, weak and stupid, because that’s how media and society treated that kind of person in the 2000’s. The character I idolized as a kid was Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls. She was a cry baby and a “dumb blonde”, but at the end of the day that didn’t make her any less valuable to their crime fighting or sisterhood. I went though so many of the same struggles as her and saw myself in her. I personally love the Bimbo aesthetic because I can wear it like armor now. It’s like such a big part of who I am is being celebrated and told she’s smart and of value and powerful for the first time and it feels good. That being said, it’s easier for me being a white, cis woman to embrace it than it is for someone who is not those things. I think the movement is not perfect by any means and we should continue to make it more inclusionary, as well as more mindful ala the plastic surgery issues, etc.

[@asmallmorgue]

This is so fascinating. I feel like you can see the dynamic in a lot of Disney and Nickelodeon teen shows, the brunette main character and the dumb blonde side kick

[@salishanmusic]

Which is so interesting because in the one 80s music video there was a show sign on a beach that said “no dogs. No brunettes”. I wonder if some of those women pushed back too far and started making their own problematic media. Hard to say since a lot of men hate all kinds of women.

[@PockyFiend]

Oh yeah, Judy Brown's "Cause I'm a Blonde."

[@solus8685]

You mean the blonde mean, bully, spoiled, dumb girl

[@nelliegregg2517]

I don’t know how I feel about saying that these aesthetics are entirely subversive, feminist, or anti-capitalist. I understand that they can be feminist as a reaction against the whole anti-femininity culture thats been going on a for a while, but at the same time having a highly curated appearance (such as tanning skin and undergoing cosmetic procedures) is still extremely restrictive. It’s still an objectifying aesthetic, in the sense of treating the whole body as decorative, even if its self-objectifying. Also, these aesthetics are heavily influenced by consumerism, so while individuals may hold anti-capitalist beliefs, I don’t think its right to say that the aesthetics themselves are wholly anticapitalist in their ideologies.

[@nelliegregg2517]

rip i commented this before the video ended but she did talk about some of this

[@BreezusSneezus]

Yeah people really wanna stretch the positives of these types of things. I'm not for judging someone merely because they choose a hyper feminine appearance but let's not act like self-objectification is a feminist choice. And with the amount of product and clothing required for the aesthetic acting like it's anything but pro-capitalistic is actually laughable.

[@Casutama]

I could not agree more!

[@marinnya5890]

definitely feel like the "hyperfemininity hate" was criticism of consumerism mega focused on women in particular. basically "women be shopping" to reinforce how frivolous and stupid they thought we were. and if these people dont want people "putting the weight of the world" on their shoulders they can stick to their own spaces and validate each-other 24/7 never making it "political". but coming into a political space telling people this is 100% politically subversive and getting defensive if anyone says otherwise or shares an opinion.. well people are gonna expect them to defend that. thats.. what political spaces are for.

[@KC-ep6sg]

Have to agree with you there, it is NOT cheap to keep up with nails, hair, tanning, clothes, etc. Not to mention this aesthetic often excludes natural body hair- I personally hate shaving but I've never seen bimbocore done with natural bodyhair on legs/arms/armpits, and I wish that was more prevalent bc maybe then I'd partake sometimes

[@bubblegumbxtch9544]

One thing I dislike about bimbotok/aesthetic however is that a lot of the aesthetic relies on sexualization and sexualizing yourself. I also see lots of girls saying they hate school/dropping out and becoming strippers/underage onlyfans stuff. (I've probably only seen this stuff however because I frequent coquette and feminine communities) There's also a fair bit of backlash against feminism. And there's heaps pro porn and female degradation stuff. ^ This isn't representative of the whole bimo/barbie communities. Just a few harmful things I have seen.

[@heylol1149]

i've seen that to, i don't think its a very good message either. i also find the whole "anti-capitalist" thing laughable because that aesthetic has got to be one of the most capitalist and consumerist oriented things i've seen.

[@asuka_the_void_witch]

coool.... coool......

[@zombieberserker]

Bimbofication is inherently sexual.

[@jaredwilliams4794]

I agree. Women and young girls shouldn’t have to settle for less because of their “role models” doing those crappy things

[@enviisyk]

i love ur username

[@darlenedarlene4560]

oh i have a fun fact about the comic "gentlemen prefer blondes"! the sequel comic book was titled "gentlement marry brunettes"

[@bela-sofia34]

Bimbofication is also a fetish category that's been around for a longer time than covered here.

[@justanothernobody4189]

fun story: throughout elementary and middle school, i was practically the only girl who loved pink. i did some presentations on pink's history, specifically on why men should wear pink. doesn't really relate to the video, but i wanted to share it hshdhsh edit: yoooo thanks for the likes 🥺🥺 i thought it would also be cool to share the presentation with you all, so I've posted it in the replies uwu. feel free to share what yall think of it teehee

[@alienpotatosquid7850]

✨ *i c o n ! !* ✨

[@goldenbunnies4143]

You were an icom

[@enkidu9298]

The industrial efficiency of pink no longer applies in the modern era. Having light colors like pink only increases the need for replacement, as stains are added. For connotations of cleanliness, it still falls short to lighter colors. Would I wear it if it was what was available? Yes. Would I seek it out? No. Marketability is pointless, and only ever an echo of what attractive, physically-fit individuals have been associated with. It is not due to the doppler effect, if that is the implication.

[@phoebesekine4783]

Thats extremely iconic of u tho

[@sarahf3214]

I love that!

[@cassandralyris4918]

The "best woman" is the one who likes herself and is presenting how she wants to be seen. And there's no wrong way to do that. We are all valid and important.

[@natalyaakselaleksander4502]

Totally agree! Choosing to be a traditional housewife and nurturing your family should not be seen as regressive and "holding everything feminism fought for back." It is all about being able to make individual choices after all.

[@CeliaTyree]

How can anyone be both anti-capitalist and pro-prostitution?

[@saintinblack4971]

Hi, as a sex worker and anarcho-communistmyself, I believe there will ALWAYS be a niche for sex work and it can 1000% be done in a non-capitalist way

[@user-Kova15]

@@saintinblack4971cute way of saying you’re a clown. Considering prostitution is based on money, then it can’t be “anti capitalist”

[@nia-lq7bo]

love u Mina all of this needed to be said fr. i feel like we’re coming full circle with the whole “pick me” thing - not all of us hate femininity, some people just like “masculine” things or a mix of both

[@salishanmusic]

Very much this. Let people enjoy things. 💖

[@MicarahTewers]

this video is SO GOOD. I share the same concerns about bimbocore (especially the bit about relying on men and encouraging plastic surgery 😳)but I also share your positive thoughts toward it! The part where you mentioned feeling pressured to be a tomboy slapped HARD. Growing up, I was bullied for my love of femininity, and it took me a long time to embrace feminism because I thought it couldn't coexist with my love of makeup, dresses and the color pink. (because sadly, the ones picking on me for my style choices/lack of intelligence called themselves feminists.) I'm so thankful we're all coming to understand that woman don't have to possess masculine traits, or even a ridiculously high IQ to deserve to be respected.

[@sodiumsodiumsodium1109]

Love you Micarah you're my favorite ✨ Barbie girl ✨

[@pattysalazar6823]

Micarah watching Mina just makes sense

[@citlali_lali]

Its so funny seeing you here, I love ur vids and always think of you when it comes to this. Ur honestly a great example of someone doing this in a good way. You helped me tap back into my femininity realizing that I could do everything I wanted to do in a fabulous pink way!

[@_eIIa_]

omg micarah, you're actually one of the people who've helped me get over my 'fear' of being feminine! your confidence is contagious. also your barbie car is like the coolest thing ever.

[@snookie2717]

Its not encouraging plastic surgery it hink you have a hard time excepting the fact that people have freedom and you dont decide what to do with peoples bodies “bimbo” is an aesthetic and if you’re getting “bimbofied” that means you already have plastic surgery take it from me i got a lot of procedures done and im not repressing people for it

[@asukalangleysoryu8449]

i used to dislike hyperfemininity because i was tired of having gender norms forced on me, and some of the girly girls were mean about this. now i let myself be a little girly because it actually is fun. being a bimbo is your choice but don’t pretend that some people aren’t pressured into gender stereotypes.

[@alpacafish1269]

This. As a kid I was actually made fun of for being more tomboyish and pressured by others to be more girly and wear dresses, but I just don’t like that stuff. I don’t feel comfortable wearing dresses, skirts etc. That is why I never understood people when they said that young girls back in the day were made see femininity as something bad. Personally for me it was the opposite. Now I’m gladly being more comfortable with my tomboyish self. I still get comments about my appearance, but. I try not to be swayed by it.

[@alpacafish1269]

I also hated the gender norms surrounding the colour pink. I didn’t want to fit in a box I didn’t feel comfortable in so that’s why I disliked pink. I still don’t like pink, specifically hot pink just cause it’s a nasty colour, but pastel pink is lovely ☺.

[@AC-bk1jg]

@@alpacafish1269 well as child everyone kinda gets forced into gender norms but when get older I realised that society don’t take women seriously and if you want to be taken seriously you have to be more masculine

[@dirt1688]

@@AC-bk1jg I disagree, ask any butch woman how they're "taken more seriously" and wait for an answer.

[@snookie2717]

They are but it isn’t bimbos fault so

[@K.aterina]

I used to dress very feminine up until uni. After finishing school & going into work, my age & gender for many people (older male managers) automatically meant that I could not be taken seriously. My opinion did not matter even If it made a lot of sence and they often stole my ideas. I started wearing suits a lot, dressed mainly in black and gray so I could be viewed different. I am now close to 30 and I realised that no matter how I dress people wont change so imma enjoy myself and wear what I want cause we only live once.

[@raemahhenderson1602]

For the girlies that want to be fully provided for by their husband/ partner - There’s nothing wrong with that. We weren’t fighting to work, we fought to have the option. Edit** I keep on seeing replies about financial abuse. This is all in context of healthy partnerships, mate selection dictates abuse not you staying at home. Focus on choosing healthy partners not making a problem that doesn’t even exist, like wHAt kiND of TRAUMIZED shit is it to say just don’t even allow yourself to lean in and relax in your marriage because you MIGHT get abused. No babygirl focus on choosing well.

[@KA-cm5mb]

Exactly - a right to choose

[@user-li8dt1vg5b]

this is why liberal feminists will never accomplish anything. it is imperative that ALL WOMEN so long as they are physically/mentally able, work to provide their own sustenance. this kind of ridiculous statements is why males so often ridicule the feminist movement. according to libfems, now it is empowering and girlboss to be a housewife, to commodify and objectify yourself for male attention. you are playing right into the hands of the capitalistic patriarchy and you are too blind in your pinkwashed reverie to see it. being a housewife is regressive and undermines feminism, we fought for the right to enter the workforce, to be treated as an equal. you will never be seen as an equal if you relegate yourself to the role of a housemaid for the man.

[@pandora9814]

Thank you!

[@Madi-ls5uu]

I find what she said about women working to be completely inconsiderate of many senarios. I have had a professional career and I am taking a break to raise my son. He is 2 months old and I think being home with him and exclusively breast feeding is what’s best for him. I only have one chance to do this. I can return to work at any point

[@sarahfox6410]

Yeah, if a woman staying home works for both partners (or any individual staying home for that matter) that is not a bad thing! There are many benefits to a stay at home parent especially, such as not needing to pay for childcare or taking off work when a child is sick. And even with a non parent, if one partner makes enough, why should both have to work? It's no one's business other than those in the relationship

[@PokhrajRoy.]

I will take this opportunity to say that I hope I’m not the only one who LOVED the official Barbie website and loved all the games in it. (Edit: I wish I could reply to all the replies but I just want to say thank you for sharing your memories. It makes me happy)

[@caspenbee]

Fam, I miss that place SO MUCH. I wish it was on the Wayback machine or something!

[@AngelaEAwesome]

I remember playing a Barbie game on Nintendo (90s) and it was so fun, bright colours, simple.

[@solarmoth4628]

You 100% aren’t, I loved that site too

[@daisydaisy0121]

SAAAME! I went on it as a teen.🥰

[@IzziDarkStarx]

Yes!!! especially the website in the early 00's!

[@farbaby7624]

I think there's probably a place in this conversation for discussing the impact of feminism becoming an (marketable) identity rather than a movement. like the way it sometimes results in us unnecessarily redefining feminism to make it align with every aspect and action of our lives as individuals.

[@ciabattabuns9328]

“If everything’s burning down, you might as well be hot and happy on you’re own terms…” That’s a mood and I’m living for it💀💅

[@sleepysmartboy6287]

(further context; I am trans ftm) The idea of femininity when I was younger was scary. My sister and I learned girly things were associated with being less intelligent or capable and femininity was inherently sexual and, as we were religious when young, sex was immoral. This of course meant femininity was immoral too. I was not a tomboy by any means, having been afraid of grass and dirt and puddles, let alone dysphoria and such, but even as a grown man now, I'm more open to embracing and expressing feminity than I did as a little "girl" and that's so sad. Part of what got me into punk and gothic culture was the blurred gender lines. I can express my femininity and maintain my identity as well. My sister has mentioned a similar experience to her femininity after we left home. And my discomfort with the feminine was usually not tied to my trans identity, but to the misogynistic household we were in.

[@lainiwakura1776]

Sounds like internalized misogyny to me!

[@sleepysmartboy6287]

@@lainiwakura1776 I've had a lot of work unpacking internalized misogyny but that doesn't really cure the dysphoria

[@silentlyjudgingyou]

@@sleepysmartboy6287 I'm pretty sure internalizing some misogyny is impossible to avoid, we're all being steeped in it no matter our gender actual or assigned.

[@calisongbird]

If you think your “discomfort with the feminine” has nothing to do with being FTM trans, that sounds like mental gymnastics to me. Or just plain denial.

[@sleepysmartboy6287]

@@calisongbird It's not that it has NOTHING to do with it, just that it's not as heavy once I unpacked the misogynistic ideas of the household I was raised in. And I've been more comfortable with things like nail polish since

[@calypso3928]

“Anything women do is going to be criticized” this 💯. Cis men want us docile and passive, yet also want us to be sexy and hot. Intelligent when they want us to be, but nonthreatening and agreeable “Lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.” 🙄So tired of it.

[@s0f_03]

Yep! It’s like whether women present feminine or masculine we’re judged either way.

[@lesbiangoddess290]

I literally just do whatever I want. Its too exhausting to want to be what men invision you to be.

[@m0rrk]

i think the least men ask for is satisfying sex and to not dominate them. Men are actually very simple and it's clear to see what the majority may not like. but that doesnt mean you go take a course so you can stay with a man, have some independence, really it is all about balance. Also submission does NOT equal less power it is all to do with trust

[@llywelyngruffydd8474]

What men want doesn't matter. Isn't that obvious? As I said elsewhere, even below average women who are overweight and have kids can line up a date for every night of the week on any dating app. A below average woman has a level of social and sexual opportunity that a man would literally have to be wealthy and famous to have. Do you realize how utterly idiotic what you posted here is? How depressing and hopeless. It doesn't matter. You can do whatever you want because there will be an army of losers who will date you anyway. Do you really not understand this? THERE IS NO STANDARD. You're basically an employer at the height of the great depression. It doesn't matter how low the pay is, there will be an army of guys who will line up for the job anyway because there aren't any goddamn jobs. What don't you understand about this goddamn words on your screen? And you're complaining about it. This is like somebody complaining about how they didn't get the diamond they wanted to an army of starving peasants, peasants who are only starving because you starved them. It's nauseating. Don't ever post anything on the internet ever again.

[@llywelyngruffydd8474]

@@s0f_03 The bar for women couldn't be lower. The bar for men is so absurdly how now that the general social survey shows that 1 in 3 men are effectively invisible. You're like wealthy aristocrats complaining that you can't find good help during the middle of a famine. You have to stop now.

[@losj3020]

It's kinda interesting seeing a lot of people here say that femininity is suppressed during their childhood (not denying it btw, that's definitely true in a lot of cases) but rarely acknowledging that it's also being forced upon girls and generally AFAB people literally since birth. I have a lot of friends who are outright uncomfortable with hyperfeminine/girly aesthetic because it's constantly shoved down their throats. Our conservative school also taught to a very specific form of femininity where girls are expected to be dainty and girly only in a way that is subservient to men. I 100% support women who want to embrace this aesthetic and femininity in general, but it's tiring to see so many people act as if the only reason women dislike being feminine is internalized misogyny :/

[@m00nl1ghtj3w3l]

I think both can be tied together somehow. Like, femininity is imposed on us a lot while simultaneously being labelled as dumb or shallow. If you wear pink and makeup you're stupid and brainless but you're also more "appetizing" and suited for men, and thus leads us to reject femininity all together.

[@caseysparkle7638]

couldnt have said it better myself❗💯 was trying to articulate my words and comment exacly this at the top comment cause i feel the exact opposite espcially coming to terms w myseld that im trans & most ppl dont talk bout this... :/ also tour last sentence Like fr sometimes pol just dont like being girly and all that stuff and has nun to do w internalized shi like its odd they accuse everyone they think are women of that also cause they could be trans and in the closet so saying internalized & not just misogyni could b make em feel dysphoric like dont asume...

[@camille6145]

yes you spilled

[@trilingual_wannabe]

Yeah, literally!

[@elektraeriseros]

Exactly this! I never hated being a girly girl as a kid, I just didn't want to be the girly girl everyone idk *_expected_* me to want to be? I can't speak for everyone afab person here, but I know that I publicly rejected most feminine concepts shoved in my direction solely so I could privately be feminine in my own way

[@saltcrisp]

Imagine my surprise when I first moved to the US eating the cookies brand “bimbo” in the first grade and having kids be shocked when I said I’d be eating bimbo cookies 💀

[@blackstarkitty9387]

Lol that's so funny. I'm originally from Mexico and I associated bimbo with bimbo bread, it's a brand of bread that's popular there, and didn't learn the other meaning of bimbo until I was older.

[@caidalee1994]

Imagine my surprise growing up in the late 90s/early 2000s and seeing that word plastered across loaves of bread for the first time. I kept it thinking “what did that cute little bear ever do to you?”

[@melsnymphologyy]

i turned to hyperfemininity when my trauma relating to s** occurred and it helped me cope. nicki minaj, barbiecore, and pink holds a place in my heart as i don't know if i would've made it without this community.

[@zoeleene]

I wish we'd collectively stop attaching "-core" to the things we enjoy to make them "acceptable" to enjoy publicly. Love the video, Mina 💖

[@angels.digitaldiary]

i second this notion

[@thebunnyempress3260]

A few days ago I heard the term “cloud core” and I thought it was a joke but apparently that’s what you call it if you like clouds? I’m so lost 😅 First we put the word aesthetic after everything we like and now “-core” !!! Both terms are so overused daily.

[@luckybiperson]

On the one hand I want people to enjoy things that are arguably ‘harmless’ but at the same time I also want the whole newfound obsession with aesthetics to kind of die down. I kid you not, a couple of months ago I was asked, IRL, “so what do you think your main aesthetic is? Goblincore or gremlincore suits you” (I didn’t take much offense to it but it was kind of funny how they said that SOLELY based on my appearance and clothes)

[@jrose1999]

Idk it’s kinda helping me learn my aesthetic all I have to do is search keyword+core. Searching with aesthetic doesn’t hit the same

[@Darling_Decay]

Acceptioncore : an aesthetic about accepting who you are and just being yourself.

[@vinniee.]

when i was a kid my parents always thought i was a tomboy cause i preferred comfy and sporty stuff over pretty pink things but i always liked femininity i just thought i wasn’t suited for it or would look really bad in pretty stuff but now that im older i just think that’s silly and i try to be my own self now, which is a lot more feminine i guess.

[@nice1cool]

Omg! Same I even felt so weird painting my nails when I was a kid. I remember I was in 5th grade and a boy complemented me on my red and green nails ( for Christmas), something in me felt so weird for some reason.

[@thepinkestpigglet7529]

That's weird cause my "hyper femininity" comes from wanting to wear comfy clothes like dresses and skirts and I've always been baffled by people saying these things aren't comfortable

[@AngelaEAwesome]

Same. I was bullied a lot for my looks and felt it was gross or bad to try to look feminine. I was afraid to even brush my hair at school because someone might judge the pointless efforts i was putting.

[@thediamondlife1225]

Hi Cutie! I loved your vid. I'm an older gal so I have only one perspective to share (you did excellent with this by the way. Would love to shed more light on 2000s era culture with you) -- women fought for their RIGHT to work. Meaning our choice. As a Black woman, it's the same as our elders fighting for our right to vote. We didn't have the choice. Same as ab*.. and the list goes on. People don't have to perform the action; We all simply desire the right to choose and have agency in our own lives.

[@eziite1]

Idk the issue in USA, but I'm from Europe and I looved black barbies and dolls! I grew up wanting to be like Rihanna and Beyonce, wanted to dance at least half as good as black people, it was so popular in that time. And it was very difficult to get black dolls, I was lucky enough to get 1 black barbie. I still remember my friend having a black babyborn so she was considered cool!

[@user-gh8bm8ct5t]

yeah, idk where this idea came from but barbie has always been pretty inclusive! I mean having a range of black dolls back in the 60’s was insanely progressive, I have no idea why she’s being used as an example of ‘toxic whiteness’ when it’s pretty much the opposite.

[@GH_97]

@fog yes, indeed. It was super hard to get Barbie dolls of colour and I was so excited when my grandmother finally found one

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

HOW FASCINATING YOU GAVE THE HISTORY ON THE COLOR PINK THIS IS WHY YOU DESERVE A RAISE AND TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE HBO SERIES AND MOVIE FRANCHISE

[@hallehuckleberry]

tone indicator?

[@shinossaura]

I had no idea that the word pink came from a type of scissor and is a relatively new word 🤯

[@emilyreynolds4185]

@@shinossaura or that pink got its name from scissors by way of variety of dianthus! I also didn’t know about the theory that blue for boy/pink for girl came about after a highly publicized art sale.

[@sc6658]

I don’t think women should be demonized for enjoying performing femininity or even hyperfemininity but also unlearning internalized misogyny doesn’t necessarily mean embracing femininity. When I was trying to be more feminine I was an antifeminist NLOG girl and now I shave my head but nothing else and shop in the men’s section exclusively and am more at peace with my womanhood and other women than I ever have been. As a butch lesbian the idea that I’m somehow inherently internally misogynistic has hurt me quite a bit and caused me to slip when it comes to healing from my trauma and making peace with my internalized issues. I really wish there was more room for gender nonconforming women in these essays about unpacking internalized misogyny.

[@thatsdisco]

same... in all regards there

[@user-nf9xm7is3m]

People will just try to silence butch lesbian, I'm a butch lesbian myself

[@Emil-lf3no]

tbh I think feminine and masculine are words that should be lost to the sands of time. As a feminine trans guy I am repeatedly irritated when ppl tell me I present feminine, because the dresses, frills, bows and make up I wear I wear to express my masculinity, my inner me that is not more feminine or masculine, but the balanced core that is me, and tbh I like to believe people of all walks of life don't necessarily see themselves as either masculine or feminine but a mix and balance of all traits regardless of culural ideas there is femininity in flannel, buzz cuts and cargo shorts, just as there is masculinity in bows, frills and long flowing hair (my last statment is removed from gender btw these examples count for men and women all the same)

[@sc6658]

@@Emil-lf3no See I actually find comfort in masculinity, both the term and the associated presentation and that has nothing to do with my gender because I hate the idea that anything I do as a woman is me “expressing my femininity”. I understand the diversity of experience in that it is not like this for every woman or every afab person (I mention both because like we all face some pressure that way here or there, not conflating the two for clarity) but with my background and experiences considered femininity has been a cage for me. That’s why I like calling myself butch and masc; it gives me a sense of agency and freedom because the oppressive influences in my background (fundie-lite churches my beloathed) would act like the worst thing to be was a masculine woman and a lesbian. And that’s how I would be read even if I didn’t identify with the term “masc/masculine” as well so embracing it is a net positive for me.

[@danmachichi8820]

i have met many people like you who found their peace in this way too. giving up a vibe or aesthetic for good, and not caring whether something is fem or masc is freeing and a unique look on its own, since i would argue most people aren’t there yet.

[@Flammearosa]

we have to add Lil Kim and Niki Minaj to this conversation. no excluding Black Barbie

[@happydays8860]

And Tyra Banks in Life Size!

[@MertaOdSimsow]

I'm not even interested in fashion, but you put it in such an interesting social-historical context that I absolutely love these essays. Thank you for your work, Mina!

[@genevievelillian6512]

Now that Mina has done a video discussing the hyperfeminintiy aesthetic and ballet core, I'd love to see her cover the "coquette" aesthetic. I don't know much about its history and its criticism, but I know that there is a lot to unpack with it, and I'm so curious to learn about its backstory and its rise to media culture.

[@hannahthereseavila1565]

The coquette aesthetic is basically the nymphet aesthetic. Which was popular around Tumblr during the 2010's. It just got rebranded as coquette/dollette because the term nymphet was considered too sexual. It was inspired by the book Lolita. I'm sure you know what that book is about. And the coquette/dollette/nymphet aesthetic got criticized for romanticizing grooming and pedophilia. Lolita the books is one of the most widely misunderstood books. And the movie adaption didn't help. But I noticed the difference between nymphet and the coquette/dollette aesthetic. Nymphet is more hyperfemenine. And coquette/dollette is inspired by Y2k fashion. I prefer the nymphet aesthetic because it's more hyperfemenine. And I was a teen during the time that aesthetic was popular. You can still like the coquette/dollette and nymphet aesthetic without romanticizing grooming and pedophilia.

[@cemeterybaby2008]

@@hannahthereseavila1565 coquette was not inspired by y2k aka mcbling smh it was inspired by mainly the light ballet pink pretty skinny Lana del Rae aesthetic it’s criticized because of its romanticization of pedos and older men and young teenage women

[@hannahthereseavila1565]

@@cemeterybaby2008 coquette has some y2k inspiration. Like micro mini skirts for example. Yes it's also inspired by the baby pink ballet Lana Del Rey aesthetic. But it has some y2k influence mixed into it.

[@pixi3d3ath47]

@@cemeterybaby2008 that’s the new bastardized pro ana one, not the old tumblr one that’s only issue is the fact young girls were identifying with dolores haze (which isn’t that big of an issue so long as you know dolores’ situation wasn’t ideal.) there’s dark and grunge and vintage americana coquette, so many outside that narrow view tumblr pro anas are leading you to believe. those people most likely were never part of the og subculture bc it was much more diverse than what you’re describing

[@qsm2978]

she needs to talk more about those toxic edtwt losers if she does.

[@rubyrootless7324]

part of that "hating hyperfemininity" thing is also probably how tired afab people are of getting that pushed down our throat as children. I remember that one time when I was forced to wear a dress during my country's religious equivalent of a "growing up ceremony" and I took it off right after the religious service because I used to hate dresses. My family started screaming how I was ruining the night and they had wanted to take pictures with me all glammed up. That made not wear dresses again. As an adult I'm slowly unlearning that by going in a different direction and actually doing what I want now. Yeah I wear skirts but not the soft kind. plad and black with chains and all that. I love it. Took me another rebellion to appreciate things that were shoved down my throat to make it feel like it's my choice. So I'm not even all the way there and there's still a part of me that wants to be an NLOG. But that's okay, I'll just do what I want now and no one can tell me otherwise.

[@dontatmeimmoody2895]

I like how Hefner is portrayed as a kindly grandpa when he has a mansion of hyper sexualised women 💀 do we never learn anything about what porn-addicted men do? & suddenly we’ve all forgotten about all that controversy

[@nana8135]

Literally

[@LaurenCheriSOCFI]

OMG! I finally understand why the bright red Ozark mountain fly trapping flower “FirePinks” are called PINKS !!! I LOVE YOU FOR DROPPING THIS KNOWLEDGE ON ME! It’s because they have “pinked” edges!!! As a seamstress this is the most incredible beautiful play on words with a personal significance!

[@powerpuff4ever]

I’d argue that the 50s iteration of Lorelei is still cunning and isn’t actually that dumb as a character. She’s more sympathetic, yes - she wants to marry for love, yes but she also specifically wanted to marry rich and knew her appearance and behaviors would successfully secure her that kind of man

[@GirlFromVogue]

also she "spends a lot of time" with Piggy to get that tiara. she is dumb as in "law school" type of way, but she is gonna get what she wants and knows how to use men. clearly iconic.

[@arthistorynerd]

Yes! She explains it so well at the end of the movie: “I can be smart when it’s important but most men don’t like it.” and her whole little monologue before that.

[@BreezusSneezus]

Lmao the fact that you think that a woman figuring out that generically attractive women get handed more things is proof of cunning is so ridiculous I'm practically dead rn. It's one of the most obvious facts in the world. You're like "she figured out the sky is blue so I'd argue she isn't actually that dumb" 🤣

[@Lu-li1ei]

@@BreezusSneezus She didn't just figure it out, she used that to her favour. I'm a girl in stem, the kind no one would call stupid, and not even to save my life would I be able to pull off what Lorelei did. The amount of knowledge in men's psychology, sociology, and pure basic strategic skills she needed it's gigantic. Deciving people it's an art that no dummie can dominate.

[@Mis_hormonaslocas]

@@BreezusSneezus you clearly haven’t seen the movie. Too many words for someone that doesn’t know nothing about the topic lol

[@mariahenriquez4377]

My main problem with the hyperfeminity aesthetic is the lack of intersectionality it comes with it. POC women have been constantly marganilized for "not being feminine" but really because societal gender norms are based on white societal norms. It's not helping either that most hyperfeminine role models and influencers are usually white. It definitely feels weird when a lot of y2k fashions from the hyperfeminity aesthetic are just Black and Brown aesthetics repackaged (hoop earrings, lip gloss, etc.)

[@AlexciaWHY]

SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN!! Like where is the Megan Good love. She was that girl!!

[@aliceguichard9367]

Tf ? Now lipgloss is being gatekeeped as being black aesthetic ??

[@coochiedestroyer5000]

EXACTLYYYYY

[@phoebesekine4783]

I think its the underlying association of black people w hip hop/rap culture. So even when you have y2k icons like Aaliyah, they arent seen as feminine and are seen as urban/street.

[@amdman4you]

Wait so Nicki and Meagan and doja don't count as core

[@user-hg6kj9jt2r]

Genuinely think we are kidding ourselves (and lining the pockets of CEOs as you mentioned) by framing this level of consumption/curated identity via clothing and fashion as anything progressive and anti-capitalist. Choice feminism has our generation by the neck. This embrace of hyper-femininity does nothing to genuinely empower women as a group while we lose our rights, or even subvert the male gaze when it doesn’t. Men easily and often hate us as people and are sexually attracted to femininity and women at the same time. Not every choice a woman makes is some sort of expression of empowerment for us as a group or even on an individual level. I think worrying about our aesthetics constantly is hyper-individualist nonsense, and only serves to divorce us from finding community with one another regardless of how we look because we are so focused on finding our specific look. I also think the drive to being a tomboy for a lot of girls, myself included, came from wanting to be seen as whole, multifaceted people the way boys are, not a demonization of femininity, and it’s actually quite misogynistic to imply that the only reason women dislike femininity is because of their own internalized misogyny, when a lot of us view femininity as a cage we were forced into, and decorating your cage to your specific style doesn’t make it any less of a cage. Side note: I always question how progressive something really is when it’s marketed, and I do mean marketed in the traditional advertising sense, as inclusive for everyone. This specific brand of consumption being open to more groups of people doesn’t mean that it’s inherently progressive and anti-capitalist. It’s quite the opposite- you’re simply opening a new market demographic for advertisers to target and more people for them to make money off of.

[@miaoumisou8589]

👏👏👏

[@dawnmoore9122]

You always give us so much information, with LOTS of history, nuance, and different ideas on these topics that I barely knew about going into these videos. I also love the lenses of "In what ways is this good and bad for society?" and "Who's typically left out of this thing?" and "It's not your job to not have an aesthetic/hobby/thing just because there are some valid critiques of it, because there are 1,000 factors in things and almost 8 billion people on the planet and you're not (necessarily) hurting anyone."

[@nctwethedreamchaser4972]

it's interesting u put paris hilton in the thumbnail. i realized most ppl in my life who were hyperfeminine were rich girls who could afford to wear trendy clothes, do their nails, etc meanwhile i and many other poor girls who couldnt afford to eat and pay meds didnt have the luxury of being hyperfeminine. also a lot of hyperfeminine rich girls looked down on me for not being traditionally feminine lol.

[@A.faceless.person]

If a woman doesn’t want to work a full time job and someone can provide for her she should be able too. If a woman wants to work and has a passion for it she also should be able too as well. WE should be able to choose what path we want. That’s what’s progressive for woman, we finally can have a choice in what we want our lives to look like. That’s true freedom.

[@hazelverse]

🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎

[@OhMyCherries]

I agree I find being a stay at home mum such a rewarding experience,I know when they are both full time though I will re enter the work force because I like to keep busy. But you don't need to have children to be a part time worker or a home maker women have the right to do what they make them happy, the same if the genders were switched.

[@laurenhickey24]

Yes I love this. I was coming down here to say this too. It’s choice that dress us! 😊

[@anyaua2626]

so trueee! i hate it when they bash each other for their lifestyle choices, it feels very silly. every woman prefers different lifestyles :)

[@timotheechammywammy3214]

Exactly. I hate when I see girls say “we shouldn’t have gotten our rights” because they don’t want to work like girl just don’t work then, we were given the right to choose what we want to do.

[@SofiaNaser]

i love watching minas videos because they're so educational but her voice is also so comforting and soft so its literally both educational and relaxing at the same time. LOVE LOVE LOVE!

[@lapislazarus8899]

Talking about pink... Roman soldiers were given those red capes, but the more battles they saw (therefore meaning the longer they lived) their capes faded. The softer and lighter pink their capes became, the more respect as a warrior they commanded.

[@g00chi]

Why can't women dress how they want without people taking it as a political statement? Some of them might be politicizing it themselves to "justify" why they want to dress like that, which is also sad. Wear what you want! Sometimes it's just as simple as "I like pink."

[@Authentically_Aria]

I highly recommend you read “There Is No Unmarked Woman” by Deborah Tannen! It’s very interesting and I think it’ll answer you question ☺️❤️

[@ticcitoasty]

as she said, anything a member from a group does is going to be politicized. mainly in performative activism or media

[@ginger-ale7818]

@@Authentically_Aria clicked on this comment to say exactly this. So I guess I’m here to second it!

[@Authentically_Aria]

@@ginger-ale7818 I read that in high school English class and it was like someone had explained my life experience to me in a more eloquent and intelligent way lol

[@erinself9031]

I feel like a lot of women throughout their youth were told constantly that things girly or associated with femininity were dumb/annoying, which is why so many of us went through a “tomboy” phase and never embraced those things fully. Now that I’m older I’m starting to really enjoy pink, dresses, and everything of the sort!

[@scarletstarlet773]

I find the aesthetic appealing mostly bc i'm a university student thinking of staying in academia. In an environment where everyone aims to act smart and dresses in kind of conservative clothes, it feels almost edgy to romanticise being a ditzy blonde in a pink dress. Also i feel like it's connected to how dark academia lost all of the appeal for me ever since i started uni

[@maddieatkinson1527]

i hate the idea that feminine women have it tougher than masculine and gnc women. it really shows the sheer amount of privilege held when i see another feminine woman spread these narratives. as a femme lesbian, i see how butch and gnc women get treated. its a level of homophobia and misogyny we will never have to deal with. you can not discuss hyper-feminine aesthetics and their relations to misogyny without talking about butches and masc women; and all of these videos examining hyperfeminity always fail to do so. its frustrating.

[@EvyTallWoman]

I have a feeling that hypofemininity can easily blindside a discussion about hyperfemininity. Metaphorically: to look at both hyperfemininity and hypofemininity would require looking in on femininity from outside of femininity. In other words, a comparison of the two will probably use the male gaze, so it's unlikely. Of course, it should be included in the examination, but the examiner would need to turn all the way around to see it. This means that it is unlikely to be included in these videos because it's out of sight. This is very similar to how trans men are often unnoticed by both sides of the battle for trans rights. This is because men are supposed to be boring in modern culture. Boring=out of mind. In other words, you gotta be loud. In other other words, this is a skill issue that everyone shares. In more words, you found the paradox of masculinity: conforming through individualism, commanding kindly, and stoic suffering. Furthermore, good luck.

[@thebondsofthestars]

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!!!!!!! i am interested in hearing people speak about these topics, but there is never any mention of gnc women, butches, etc. it sometimes even feels like people are implying that women dressing masculine is more accepted by men, which completely invalidates what masculine women experience. they absolutely do NOT have it easier. i don't want to put women against each other by saying "who actually has it worse", but i would definitely like to see people address what gnc women experience in videos like this. both sides of the """masculine to feminine""" spectrum have it hard, the patriarchy fucks EVERYONE over. women can never win. if anyone has any video, article, etc recommendations that do address gnc women, i'd love to see them fr. especially if they're made by gnc women. even just casual twitter threads or reddit posts of gnc women discussing this topic.

[@m_a_k_e_n_n_a]

Hot take but this feels like surface-level aesthetic empowerment that’s very much capitalism-approved. Aesthetic empowerment just means the freedom to be able to buy and wear whatever you want, and is easily commodified. It also feels like a possible slippery slope into trad femininity and doesn’t really do much for the material reality and rights of women, queer people and poc… it just feels like it’s been needlessly fortified with the language of social justice to justify it and compensate for the shallowness of the aesthetic choice

[@botanicalitus4194]

yup!

[@tobe4real]

Big agree

[@abbyreign9499]

Big yes

[@xakirax_8864]

Yss

[@Cervantesbracetty]

Why don’t you want people to have fun! Does everything have to be so serious??? Are women not allowed to just embrace something and have thoughts and feelings about things with out being revolutionary.

[@lisaashpole8066]

I think you underestimate the pushback men receive for being a stay at home dad. So many people equate being masculine with your ability to provide and protect. When a guy is a stay at home dad, they are generally seen as lazy or not contributing. This is a reaction you can find from both men and women.

[@purpleworm4725]

From my experience, men also get judged more for being unemployed or earning less. For example, my boyfriend is still judged by his family for not earning much although he does a job that is very important for society and that he loves. I have never seen such attitude directed towards my female friends, who have been in similar situations.

[@nene5417]

but you cant say it’s on the same level w what women have to deal w … women get criticised about every little thing they do i do understand there r hardships for man n toxic masculinity too, but come on :/

[@tafareleguillaume6569]

@@nene5417 let’s not try to make a competition on who has it harder, you sound self absorbed and childish, it’s ok to talk about man issues once in awhile, doesn't mean we forgot about women struggles 🙄🙄

[@purpleworm4725]

@@nene5417 wasn't trying to compare it at any point. But I get why you misinterpreted it and disliked it. I often see examples where problems faced by women are discussed, but conversation gets overtaken by rare examples of similar problems faced by men. And then all attention is on men. So much so that some people are more scared for people getting wrongfully accused of a certain crime than for people who are victims of the crime.

[@Companion92]

I think the difference is that, when a woman does something it is more often seen as reflecting on all of women as a group, as when a man does it. For example, stay at home mums or very feminine women are critcised for being 'anti-feminist', but people don't say a stay at home dad hurst 'male rights' or something. They get criticised at a more personal level and less as hurting a whole group

[@Jesse-ey5xd]

This was way more interesting topic than I expected. Excellent channel. 🤙

[@avii377]

There are three fashion aesthetics in this in case anyone wanted to know : the baddie which is very Cardi B, Nicki MInaj, the Kardashians, characterized by plastic curvy bodies, hoop earrings, super long nails, lashes, gloss, and the wavy baby hair, its elements are fire and is more 21st century Then comes glamcore which is has older styles: Paris Hilton, Veronica Lodge, Clueless vibes, the faux fur, chiffon, silks and velvet, cute purses with pets in them, Jang Wonyoung for K-pop lovers (mixed with a bit of dollcore) the element here is ice. Then the Y2k which is the 2000's blonde bimbo characterized by casual wear mostly eg the Plastics from the mean girls

[@anatomicalvenus]

Tbh as a gender nonconforming woman a lot of these recent discussions abt femininity have been leaving a bad taste in my mouth, largely bc people seem to think that because femininity is devalued in some ways, then masculine women must surely have it better. The truth is that being gender nonconforming or trans or otherwise existing outside of the spectrum of what counts as "acceptable" gender performance won't really get you anywhere. You just get harassed for looking too gay. I see a lot of comments here abt women overcoming the internalized misogyny they struggled with as girls and then preforming femininity more openly as adults and honestly? Good for them, but I worry about the connection being made here between being a masculine girl or woman and suffering from internalized misogyny. I hated pink and girly things as a child, tried desperately to preform femininity in my teens so that my peers would accept me, and then ditched that when I graduated high school and I've never been happier. I think that women that have gotten more feminine as they age don't really realize the amount of pressure there is on gnc people to do gender "right". It's really alienated me from a lot feminist discussion, both online and irl, and I wish that gender nonconforming perspectives were considered more in this conversation.

[@perryh.-r.4419]

Seconding this. There's no way to win; there's always some sort of pressure from some direction to behave differently or perform your gender in a particular way.

[@zainabreads4382]

agreed. also when ur older, there is more pressure to conform in feminine standards. another comment said this but when ur eight years old and ur a tomboy some people may be like "aww cuteee" but if ur a hairy teenager who wears no makeup, men will not be applauding you for it. esp adults who have facial and body hair, dont wear makeup, dont have clear skin, short hair, wear loose clothes, etc will way more likely to be more outcasted than if they conformed to feminine standards

[@bads5780]

Thank you!!!

[@lisaw150]

I've had short hair since my teenage years, I enjoy football and motorcycles and rarely wear makeup (also lace dresses, flowrrs and poetry but hey...) People literally threatened to tie me to a chair and perfo a "make-over" on me when I was about 15 - in a western European big city known as a centre of LGBT life. People implying that I was a tomboy because I wanted to impress boys or because of internalised sexism is one of the most absurd and hurtful things I've ever had to deal with. I'm in my late twenties now, a lawyer, and it still hurts pretty badly that gender non-conforming behaviour is now stigmatised by "my own people".

[@elainestokes2787]

Performing femininity is honestly so exhausting I quit after less than a year 😂 gnc is so much more comfortable and simplifies my life 👌🏻 I could do without the judgement and assumptions from others though.

[@botanicalitus4194]

Funny... when we're young, being feminine is stigmatized as being "basic" or "btchy", but when we're older then being a masculine woman/tomboy becomes stigmatized. I mean none of these adults women who are embracing hyper femininity are doing anything transformative or groundbreaking, the way they present themselves is exactly how patriarchy conditions women to present themselves. But thats okay, as long as its their choice and makes them happy.... But try being a butch or masculine woman as an adult? You'll get treated like garbage. You will be denied job opportunities, be mocked behind your back relentlessly, and have people poke their nose in your business and ask you why you dont dress more feminine or wear make up or shave...etc People just need to stop focusing on women's appearance and let women present however they want

[@SH-jl7wo]

Yeah a little concerned about the tone in some comments WRT masculine girls and women...like being masculine is cute when you're 8 or whatever but i promise when i was a hairy 12 year old butch going thru puberty i was not rolling in male privilege lol. Now im an adult in a male-dominated field and i have to completely change my face hair clothing posture and voice before job interviews. That's not the fault of feminine women by any stretch of the imagination, but its interesting how masculinity in women is conceptualized in these discussions

[@benita8856]

exactly. idky why people wanna act like we're pressured to shave our heads and gain muscles. if you do that you get harrassed non stop, look at doja when she shaved her head. people were not happy with her decision and its probably because she's "less girly" now

[@kidawesomeness123]

i noticed that too??? as women get older its expected they become more feminine anyway so i never rlly saw it as re inventing the wheel. i clicked on this video because i sincerely do not understand why it became trendy again? in a non shady way though the girl look great.

[@nctwethedreamchaser4972]

butch women are never the main characters in popular films or media. its encouraged to be tomboysih when ur a kid but when u dont shave off ur body hair, dont dress according to feminine standards, dont wear makeup when ur older, ur outcasted by society for doing so. and now ppl are acting like conforming to patriarchal standards on doing ur nails, makeup, plastic surgery, trendy clothes, preventing aging etc is anticapitalist lmao

[@discountjamal1434]

@@kidawesomeness123 cuz what nigga wants a masculine female yall need reality checks, chattin bout expected goofy boi

[@ritaevergreen7234]

Hyper feminine is also attached to the whole being high maintenance which opens the conversation about financial capital. Even growing up as much as I was into girly things I didn’t have the means for a lot of these things and I noticed that the only way to have friendships with these type of girls was you automatically had the means to buy certain things. I befriended a different friends that weren’t based around material things but these friends of mine as much as we respected each other they did categorize me as feminine and I still felt like something was missing in terms of questioning if I could still have healthy friendships we females who were feminine. I felt disconnected around a lot of them because it opens up a can of worms about the toxic parts of being a female that I actually witnessed such as bullying and arrogance.

[@nicolawilcox9771]

This was so interesting 😍 it’s so much deeper than what I thought - could deffo do a pt 2 on this

[@00Rav3n00]

I understand when you said as a young girl we're conditioned to be more "masculine," but I lived a childhood of like boy and girl things. I see a lot of girls talk about they "faked" being a tomboy and they preferred girly stuff, and it makes me think you can like both things. Growing up in a close minded, southern black Christian family I had to hide my interest in "boy things." I think something we really need to do is stop gendering aesthetics, Clothes, toys, etc. It doesn't matter if it's a blue shirt if you like wear it, it's doesn't have to be boy or girl, masculine or feminine. Maybe it's because I'm neurodivergent (I've heard a lot neurodivergent people have trouble understanding/caring about social norms) but I've always thought social norms were the dumbest thing to every exist.

[@PoojaKumari-ty6sh]

Yeah! Like I don't understand how wearing pink makes u feel feminine... They literally taged that colour gender specific. Mina talked about the history of pink and ya'll people r doing nothing but following the trends made by social construct right now to make urself feel feminine... like it's some universal or factual definition of femininity, chaining down ur unique individuality in the enormous structure of society; advancing towards the Mirage of freedom.

[@joylox]

Yes, I'm neurodivergent and always hated gender roles. I preferred to be out in the mud playing with the boys and our monster truck toys, building slingshots with sticks and rubber bands, and hated when people said I had to act more ladylike. I went though a phase where I didn't want to be bullied and faked being girly, but it was too much work. Because of my neurdivergence, I thought I had to be what people expected of me, and was faking myself to be basically 3 different versions around different groups of people. It was exhausting, and I'm glad I let that go to be myself, and my friends seem to have done the same. It led us in different directions, but that happens sometimes, and I found other who understand me better and don't care if I wear men's clothes.

[@Camcp20]

Agreed!!!!

[@gngrbrds]

Hard agree 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@daeith1233]

Bc if you refer to history, men had the most important roles (politically) so in order to be important and listened too, women had to look more like the men, who were juged as cooler and more interesting ig. It's not just a stupid stereotyp, it cames with ideas and gender

[@CoquetFleur]

The word bimbo makes me uncomfortable in Germany it’s and old word for a black servant. So it’s a no for me ….

[@EchelonPandora]

Sheltered idiot German is not the only language say BIMBOOO

[@missymelloy]

That is what I also wanted to add! As a black german woman I am super disturbed by reading and hearing this word so often in my daily life. Its basically the same as the n-word. I would prefer people would only use the word barbie core instead.

[@lisettegarcia]

😳

[@sarapocorn]

Hi from Switzerland and, yes, from what I know it was basically synonymous to the n-word, so it just feels weird hearing it. Funny how these things go, I once explained a not so nice term for an Italian person to an English-speaking friend of mine and he was so shocked, because it sounds exactly the same as a slur used for Chinese people.

[@toyaJM]

I can see why Americans would love and use that term , makes perfect sense as we hae been portrayed as "lazy and slow" all while providing services for white Americans.

[@plummyplummy]

As someone who ended up embracing more the soft pink/Sanrio/cutesy hyperfeminine area of the map around the same time that bimbocore was on the rise, I could never fully articulate the exact reason that it felt similar and yet completely different, but this video nails it exactly. It's the same 2000's nostalgia, the same desire to tune out from the fast pace of the seemingly endless slew of disasters over the past years (though flavored more "innocently" than bimbocore), and balancing that with the same struggle, as you quoted, of "denying themselves the pleasure of being girly and wearing pink for the sake of being taken seriously by men [...]" like girl I felt that SO HARD. It's a sister aesthetic in many ways, simply in different shades of pink, and as an Asian woman it also feels like a reclaiming of my own culture that I rejected in the intervening years to embrace the "kawaii" trend. It's always a fine line to be taken seriously when you're already infantilized no matter if you have a Hello Kitty desk or not. And it's interesting to see the tangible evidence of this niche's growth - a majority of the items currently for sale on the Sanrio website are home items/marketed to adults. Anyway, this is becoming an essay on its own but one last thing: For y'all that like the long nails and lingerie and jewelry and etc. but want to buy out of the capitalist cycle, consider buying your stuff from independent artists. Tons of them on Etsy and the like.

[@hollyx6371]

I just love how well-researched this video is, like I didn't know half of this!

[@wilddaisyprincess]

The only thing wrong with this intro is saying teenagers were sneaking onto Facebook in 2006. We were sneaking onto MySpace and aol 😂 but otherwise, vibes

[@ashley1919100]

Yep lol I vividly remember that Facebook was for”old people” lmao

[@artisticbeautybyhanako6801]

Yeah I wasn't allowed MySpace, but my mom let me make my first Facebook in 2010 ish

[@stratosphere94]

I remember holding onto MySpace for a long time and thinking FB was lame until like 2009 ish? Lol

[@asuka_the_void_witch]

i heard people start talking about facebook in 2006 or 2007 (i dont remember which year exactly)

[@ashley1919100]

@@stratosphere94 it was about 2010/2011 it started to get popular at least from the people I was around

[@evangelistamono2200]

Remember those Russian girls in the early 2010s who would transform themselves into real life Barbie Dolls? When I first heard about Barbiecore, I thought it was about that scene. Apparently they’re just called “living dolls”

[@brittanys505]

I looked up to them when I was like tween age. I have always thought being feminine was going to give me pretty privilege. Appearance is something that society places much value on for women. I do still kinda feel insecure that wearing pink wasn't going to help me be seen as a serious adult though, that I'd get labeled as stupid for my love of pink and crazy. F*ck being an adult though!

[@lainiwakura1776]

That's called a fet!sh.

[@user-ie7vo1hj3j]

What girls? Do you remember names?

[@bearsutter9639]

@@user-ie7vo1hj3jpeople like venus angelic

[@cristinasponk]

Your videos are so great 😭😭 literally i would listen to you for hours

[@caramazzola2399]

I've recently been diagnosed with autism and have been grappling with understanding the world through a radically different lens, having had my understanding of my reality so fundamentally upended. For a long time, but especially now, I have struggled to express myself freely. So much of what you have to say resonates with me, and it's amazing to vicariously experience your expression of it. Thank you for making me feel like I have permission to be myself and for the thoughtful discourse™️

[@alexba1ley]

Congrats! I recommend looking into head canons of Elle Woods as autistic coded if you're looking for hyperfeminine autistic inspiration. I think Yo Samdy Sam might've made a video that mentions it. I forget where I've seen it, but you can probably Google "Elle Woods autistic" and find some great commentary.

[@lisaw150]

When I was 15, peope threatened to tie me to a chair to perform a "make-over" on me because I was a short-haired girl who wore very little makeup. This happened a little over tem years ago in a western European city known as an LGBT hub. I find it hurtful that people imply my "masculine interests" were me repressing my femininity or me being a "pick me girl". It was who I was (and am!) and I faced violence for it.

[@clouddd8053]

Yes! I don’t like how the topic has shifted to “embrace feminity” = a valid woman/growing up where some woman just are more masculine than others. Feminists of all people should know not to put tomboys downs down to rise up hyper-femme, all types of women can exist simultaneously. - a trans masculine person who grew up “ugly” and “weird” for being a tomboy

[@Illumiloni]

Im not sure if you're referring to those people specifically or society as a whole when you say they were demonizing you for being masculine, but I think when it comes to society, its not that people are saying 'oh you're just repressed you hated your femininity' and more that "I hated my femininity and didn't want to be seen as a dumb woman so I took in masculinity and scoffed at femininity as a result' So less 'youre lying to yourself' and more 'this is my experience and it sucked so now ill do the opposite' Ofc this doesn't apply if u were specifically referring to the people who harassed you. also what a weird thing to 'threaten' lol wtf

[@lisaw150]

@@Illumiloni honestly, I object to people explaining to me who I am and how to be it one way or another. I personally never scoffed at stereotypical femininity and I will take it as an insult that some people dare to psychoanalyse me and explain to me why I allegedly reject my natural "femininity". I'm plenty feminine the way I am, I was always this way, and I expect that this is accepted without comment or long-distanxe hobby psychology, honestly. Apart from that, if I had wanted to avoid judgement, I would have behaved like a "typical girl" - I have to do so in the workplace and it makes life soooo much easier. At least where I live, social pressures are clearly to conform with traditional gender roles and non-conformity is pretty severely sanctioned. And it certainly won't make anyone think of you as less of a "dumb woman" to behave in a more "masculine" way.

[@Illumiloni]

@@lisaw150 based!

[@user-op5gq6gd3b]

Generally the whole aesthetic/core seems weird to me. Some people really repress their emotions and self expression through their teens though. But not everyone is this way. We are all so unique that all these "style videos" make little sense. For example when I was a teen the "Avril Lavigne" style was in. Well by the time I was 15 I was so tired of the black clothes and long hair. Chopped it all of ( yay for pixie! ) and became a rainbow. To this day I love colorful everything and bohemian everything. And I'm not changing anytime soon 😛. You are you. Seriously why be labeled "too feminine or too masculine" or anything. Who decides? why would that be so complicated? You do you and wear whatever you love 😁. You feel good with yourself and people love you for who you are not because you "dress according to code"!

[@AlexciaWHY]

recently crocheted myself a pink mini dress for my birthday paired with pink platforms! so excited about this video! this aesthetic grew on me out of nowhere lol I think it’s like I’m finally old enough to style myself this way and not fear adult judgement. 😭

[@avachristiansen7703]

aawww that sounds so pretty!!!! I hope you have a great birthday!!:D

[@smilla6368]

this needed to be talked about, thank you.

[@rai2763]

ok so i just found ur channel thru the wedding dress video and I fell in love! so glad i found ur channel, thank you for ur works!!

[@zelapetalcliff]

Here I am waiting for Lisa Frank to come back 😂 As a kid I used to reject wearing pink because I thought it was “too girly” but now I have loads of pink in my wardrobe

[@heatherriversart]

Lisa Frank is thriving on IG! So much cute stuff 😍🌈

[@alessandrasmith339]

I definitely used Lisa Frank notebooks as a way to enjoy hyper feminine things as a kid because I repressed the feminine-fashion-urges 🥲

[@gigitastic90]

IDK I remember reading a pretty damning article about how awful it was to work there and how poorly they treated employees.

[@twiggledowntown3564]

Lisa Frank stuff rocks!

[@anyone1111]

I have collectible stickers from Lisa Frank and some coloring pages too! I’ve always loved Lisa Frank it’s a shame the brand isn’t in style. All of it is so groovy, bright, and fun!

[@squeakywagon]

So I guess I wasn't the only one who had an identity crisis when I realized I wasn't a tomboy 🙃

[@laurieellenferreiraschuber9353]

Sometimes it feels like labeling something as feminist or non-feminist ends up feeling just as binary as gender roles themselves. I support the movement, but I sometimes get disheartened that there is no way of winning and that we will always get stuck in a loop.

[@sofialisbon]

Mina I am totally in love with your vids They truly encourage me to reflect and solve internal thinking crises (plus I'm entering fashion uni and Iove your style and the knowledge you bring with the drama