exploring nusa lembongan & doing my first yoga retreat | bali diaries vlog

sometimes solo travelling gets you down !! this week was one of them. i got sick and lonely in one of my favourite places BUT grateful to be able to share the ups and downs with you 💫
this week we got a boat to nusa lembongan and ceningan and did my first mini yoga retreat! read some great books and once I was better - ate a lot of good food 😭😭
💌 music:
- / hudson-ritchie
- / n-ris
💌 contact me:
- insta: @moyamawhinney moyamawhinn...
- email: [e-mail]
- spotify: open.spotify.com/user/moyamaw...
💌 faq:
where are you from? northern ireland - weird accent I know, my mum’s indonesian and my dad’s irish
what do you study? art history (major) and english literature!! its a dream I love it so much. I went to uni @ trinity college dublin and did my semester abroad at columbia
equipment? filmed on sony handycam ax43 and edited on Final Cut Pro X
everyday jewellery? either mejuri or my grandmothers xx - get 10% off your first mejuri order with my code! mejurifinecrew.sjv.io/x9QZ3k
fav makeup? glossier always !! 10% your first glossier order: re.glossier.com/3666e341
subs: 453k lovely people xx

[@WesleyAnna]

Traveling with a partner can be wonderful but don't take for granted this time you get to spend on your own! Taking solo trips only gets more difficult as you let more and more people into your life. This time is special ❤

[@moyamawhinney]

!! thank u for this 🫶🏼

[@ilikebeingbasic]

Your videos are hitting deeper and deeper. I read that “the most powerful thing an artist can do for others is to make art and let that inspire them” - you’ve developed SUCH an art with your videos. It was a book, a poem, a painting, a song, all in one. I LOVE experiencing your videos. I love experiencing YOU! hope to make videos that reach people in likeness that yours do! Much love! 🤍

[@moyamawhinney]

awwwwww thank you so so so much 😭😭😭😭😭 I wanna hug you all thank you for being here xx

[@aishabah9401]

i swear you couldn't have said it better this is so truee!!!! 🤍

[@estefaniazila]

my exact feelings💕

[@huan7041]

I can't say more same feelings 😭💗💗

[@bidooya]

THIS!!! This is THE FEELING ❤

[@luzia6900]

I really appreciate that you are being honest with us! Its helpful to hear that you are also feeling low sometimes and uncomfortable, being honest about this helps to reduce the toxic positivity that we all know, so thanks for sharing!! And just because you are not feeling good doesn't make your content bad or anything, it is just as valuable!

[@moyamawhinney]

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 je taimeee thank you!

[@inesrun5365]

It’s so special to hear your thoughts and not just see the highlights like on instagram, but believe me you have achieved so much and it’s really hard to tell yourself that, but you really are amazing and inspiring and you’re not alone!

[@AtHomewithJada]

Crazy how so many of us can feel so uncomfortable experiencing joy, ease, and extraordinary events when that’s what we’re here to do. I really appreciate hearing your perspective, Moya. You’re inspiring me for sure sweet girl 🫶🏾

[@tricie]

all i can say is i'm living for the indo moya island girl era ✨☁ can't wait for more asia explorations!!

[@moyamawhinney]

😭😭😭😭😭 ILY

[@brookeaustell]

Tearing up because I know all of us have felt this intense loneliness before. Crazy how when we’re alone we can all still share this emotion and be connected in that way. I hope things are looking up for you Moya! I’m so happy to be following your journey alongside my own. I feel like we’re both finding comfort in ourselves together.

[@chelseadanielle1464]

Oh Moya. It made tear up to hear you say you feel like you don't like who you are. You are such a Light and a gift. I just subscribed and already I've watched so many of your videos and think you're the sweetest person with the softest energy. From one artist to another, never forget that just sharing your creativity and gifts helps the world. You do deserve to be here, and whatever you create that is always good enough! 💗💗💗

[@yvanamariah1132]

i’m always saying how good the world could be if we could see ourselves through the eyes of others, i bet a lot of people think you’re amazing moya, even when you don’t feel it yourself❤️

[@beatrizalmendra6200]

moya's videos are true comfort and makes me feel so inspired to do anything, specially write. your videos are amazing and i can't get enough of them💌

[@moyamawhinney]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ily

[@emiliablaze]

I genuinely admire your ability and courage to travel or to do anything alone in this world as a young woman. My anxiety would probably give me a heart attack. Every time you upload a new video i am really relieved that you’re okay. Honestly, thank you so much Moya, for uploading all these beautiful solo travel vlogs. For many people these vlogs are probably the only way to experience stuff like this. Thank you. ❤

[@truilingier9145]

I’ve been crying after this video. For the beauty of the island, for the real & honest talks and for how beautiful of a person you are. I was feeling low and this video made me see the beauty of life but also that’s okay to feel low and that we’re not alone. Thank you for everything you do Moya, we love you🫶🏼 a true piece of art again

[@cheyannejames4611]

You deserve everything. Your kindness and beauty radiates through you and onto your channel. I’m so proud of your solo travels and you are so empowering and inspiring. Enjoy your trip, safe travels❤🫶🏾🫶🏾

[@earthblossom6225]

thank you for taking me to places I could only dream of experiencing first hand! LOVE YOU 💓 this video feels like a soft embrace

[@cutiez4eva1]

I think these feelings are pretty common when solo travelling (and especially having no base). It’s great to open up about this stuff and also remind us watching that the influencer lifestyle isn’t as glamorous as videos make it seem

[@evapearl2487]

you deserve to be here in this space in every possible situation! you dont have to worry that you should be better for us because you are already the best. ill be grateful for absolutely anything you put out. it helps seeing that no one is completely perfect and fine all the time. you will feel better in your own time because youre just the loveliest ever and deserve only the best. there is absolutely no pressure from us !! ily

[@kali.manawai]

i say this from my heart. your videos evoke a peace and awe within me. i am truly so inspired by your creativity and the way you see the world. you create a yearning in me to read and slow down and tap into my own creativity. thank you for all that you give to us moya 🙏🏾 i am deeply grateful 🍄🕊🤎

[@sarahb.m.5730]

I can relate so much to that feeling of discomfort with yourself and what you’re doing. You really provide a lot of comfort for those who watch your videos. I also feel like every time I watch one of your videos I take away some sort of inspiration. So thank you and I hope you feel better now 🙏🏼❤

[@CadoVaughan]

This video was everything and more. The little details you captured of the beach, the sunset, the curtains, your view from your bed when you woke up alongside how you fully captured your emotions in this video was raw and compelling. Thank you for sharing 💕✨

[@april.mp4]

you got me in tears moo! watching you and experiencing life with you for the past two years, both the highs and the lows, has been such a comfort for me and still is, so please know you are always deserving and worthy of being here 🤍

[@AnitMariyam]

This feels so warm! I took a break from my busy working full time life and came back to my hometown for a few months because life was being too harsh on me. I still don’t feel hundred percent but way better than before. Watching your videos I feel like home and so comforting. Thank you Moya ❤ I hope you feel your best even if it’s not perfect.

[@tildafischer699]

LOVE the way this is edited, so beautiful and calm. Don't pressure yourself to always achieve on camera. This type of video is so comforting and relatable. You deserve the best🫶

[@leoonoooraguiar]

we are so so so proud of you!!! having an hard time while solo travelling is a part of it, be patient with yourself. ate the end of the day, you are blooming and growing into something beautiful. thank you for being honest Moya!

[@SheConsumes]

thank you for being authentic and vulnerable moya, you are so valuable and it is valid to feel how your feeling! you are still so worthy, and we all love you

[@morganreed444]

This is a beautiful video Moya. Your honesty is what keeps us watching! Your storytelling and artistry are both stunning but it’s your personality that made me love your vids. I hope you’re feeling better! xoxo

[@ddew7223]

Love your honesty, Moya! And I can tell you’re trying new things in your editing, it’s subtle but I appreciate how much you put into your vlogs ❤. And this is just me, butI prefer travelling alone, it makes you more independent and forces you to learn new things, and honestly sometimes depending on the other person, they can ruin beautiful moments lol. My favourite memories where from my twenties when travelling alone, basking in the silent peace of a beautiful sky or art and sitting there for as long as I wanted without someone interrupting my thoughts or rushing me to move on. I think, in those moments of aloneness, the best thing you can do is to be fully in the moment and you’ll find you have everything you need ❤

[@loudesiles94]

Moya i wanted to let you know that your videos relax me so much and inspire me to travel on my own ! It made me sad when you said that you were disapointed in yourself, please know that we'll always be here to support you even if it's through a screen, always prioritise yourself and your mental health ! Love from france xx

[@mabelcarvlho]

moya, i cannot put into words how the past year or two have been changing me as i watch your vlogs. you speak everything i think and it makes me feel okay and i hope that, if you read this, you'll understand you're not alone either. love you! you're awesome! love your calm, reflective vlogs!!!

[@frozencupcake21]

Thanks for being vulnerable with us! From one lost girl to another!💕

[@trishmnz]

moyaaaaa 😢 can i just say that this hit HARD. thank you for being so vulnerable with us 💖💖 you've been one of my biggest inspirations lately to embrace my independence and start doing things and going to places just because. I've always been pretty independent but seeing you romanticize life encouraged me to do the same. I'm starting to warm myself up for solo traveling by doing small trips to the city alone because of YOU. and YOU ARE NOT ALONE WITH THIS FEELING. I just recently felt this yesterday when I was walking alone and taking time for myself while being surrounded by families and people having someone with them 🥲 AHHHH sorry that I went on a tangent 😂 but I just want you to know that I'm one of your viewers who's grateful that you are opening up about these emotions because it's part of the human experience!

[@terenaworld]

loved how vulnerable and honest you were... glad you were able to get some time to yourself and slow down a bit, despite it being because of sickness 😭

[@emszus]

This video is beautifully filmed and edited!! Loved the close-ups and change of cameras every now and then ❤️‍🩹

[@hayley8087]

i’m sorry you’ve been feeling so down lately, i have too, but please know that you, your content and the things you share with the world are beautiful and lovely. i live vicariously through you on instagram and on here and can’t wait for a moya video every week, you’re such an inspiration and friend to me. love you so much and i hope you start feeling better and more comfortable in your own skin, and let us know if we can help you in any way ☺️🫶

[@Katie-hj2vj]

you're so brave to travel alone, moya. hope i could do the same in the next few years after college. you've always inspired me to not be scared of doing things alone and appreciate what's in front of me. much love xx

[@husaynsvideos]

Finally , I have been waiting for one of your vlogs , I like the fact that you show your real self, both the happy and the less happy moments , It is normal to experience lows sometimes , they are part of the journey and they make us appreciate the value of our good moments

[@NabilaIrene]

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing such wonderful and personal moments! I love how open you are here ❤️

[@sophiamorales6290]

hun, the only person u need to grow for is yourself, and don't rush it, any growth progress, no matter the tiniest or biggest is progress. so proud of u for taking the time for some self introspection, u truly have inspired me to do the same! sending love and hugs xx

[@rainbowfuchsia6289]

This is my favourite video. It is also one of the best youtube videos I have ever watched. I want to tell you why. It is because it is so honest, a lot of us have been where you are and it is reassuring to see that we can all have these times of loneliness, introspection etc. It is also pretty humbling to watch as you are such an amazing person and yet here you are doubting yourself. I just love your videos more and more as time goes on. I hope you get to spend some time travelling with someone at some point (I amsure you will). Sorry to ramble, it is just you have just had such a positive impact in my life and I am v grateful.

[@Angela-yh9ze]

This YT channel is EVERYTHING ❤❤❤❤❤❤ MOYA we love you

[@hannah-wn8or]

This vid is honestly so beautiful. It really reminded me how much I love to travel and that I probably should just go for it bc it’s something that I’ll keep in my heart forever

[@annacrowley828]

Aw this reminded me of how hard I am on myself too. We are all ok, worthy, and deserving just as we are, no matter what. You’re doing amazing Moya, you’re such an inspiration 🫶🏼

[@tarawilde]

Your videos are stunning! I appreciate your honesty and commitment to authenticity ❤️ The comments about feeling lonely made me feel grateful for the steady life I have with my partner and our puppy. I’m a bit older than you though so enjoy your single years and solo travel, we always seem to be wishing for something else.

[@eri3989]

moya 🥺i wish we could all give you a warm hug right now! thank you so much for being vulnerable with us. you're my favorite youtuber and i always come to your channel to watch your videos when im feeling down and when i need a push to rediscover how to romanticize life again. hearing you share that you also struggle with the pressure to be productive, self-disappointment, and everything in between, made me realize that we're all truly human and feeling these is a part of our human experience. i hope you could continue to bring us along your journey to growth and self-discovery so we could also grow with you ❤ sending you so much love and light!

[@Jana-ee6ic]

Your really hard on yourself Moya. Your videos are amazing and they are just getting better every time. It's amazing what you do and you can be very proud of what you achieved!

[@talithamenting788]

Hey Moya, just want to say that you deserve the world. You are an amazing and kind person. It is okay to feel down but I hope you will feel better soon. I am very gratefull and blessed that you are here on this planet with me. Sending all the love 💙

[@emilymharper]

Hi Moya, I wanted to say thank you for being vulnerable in your vlogs. I really connect to how you talk about the joys and difficulties of travel. And I always admire your courage to travel alone. Watching your videos, I am inspired by the community you have created online and the beautiful work you make. I always look forward to your videos because they feel real and complex and intricate. Thank you for sharing! 💕

[@annnajx]

the way u see the world and show it to us is so so so special, never change moya

[@gabzsantos]

LOVE UUU MOYAA!!! I grew up in Jakarta and went to Bali a lot, so watching all these videos has been so beautiful! Thank you for sharing and for being vulnerable, i know it’s easy to be hard on yourself thats totally valid. But i want to tell you much I truly enjoy watching your videos and how real you are. You have a gift and im so happy i get to witness it!! 💛

[@bidooya]

Moya, I've been binge-watching your videos for the last months and I feel like watching a short movie everytime. The editing, the shots, your way of talking!!! It's a "rest" to be in your channel. 🍃 Keep up the good work!!!

[@nikitataneja9241]

Moyaaa, i missed you and how! So glad to see Indonesia through your eyes. These vlogs have a slow, steady vibes and I'm here for them. Can understand feeling lonely when you are travelling alone but also so brave of you to make this trip happen for yourself. xx 🥰🤗❤

[@eatwithalexandra]

Awww I absolutely FEEL you, I did a solo trip in the south of spain after years of never travelling alone and the emotions hit HARD. Now I’ve got tickets booked to the motherland as well as Bali for another solo trip in feb and stumbled upon your videos! Absolutely breathtaking, you and the views!!!

[@viggoohlin5440]

This really brought back some memories! I was traveling alone in indo and I got really sick by food poisoning (like you) And when I came to lembongan I felt exactly what you described about being alone and not being able to share experiences with someone. Its great to travel alone but you always have moments you wish somebody was with you! I guess I just really connected and saw resemblance with your experience and my own that I had to comment! Anyway, love the tranquility you bring to your videos! Love from Sweden

[@leahsfieldnotes]

Obsessed ❤ u have my whole heart! I’m so proud of u

[@pauli7217]

you are so so lovely, this is a great moment for you to understand polarities. in order to be happy you need to also experience sadness. the law of one explains this is necessary to heal, to view this polarity, accept it and balance it (session 6, vol.1). I hope someday I have the courage to travel on my own as well, this video is so inspiring. 💖

[@yuvrajjaisinghani8953]

your vids make me feel belonged, thanks for all the good stuff and love the videography!!

[@channelsurfng]

i'm so proud of you for being who you are! been following you since 2020 and it's so good to grow with you. I'm a nostalgic person as well and and this couple weeks i've beem watching your videos from 2020 'cause of this nostalgic feeling (and 2020 wasn't a good year at all so this is crazy). I totally feel you and hope you get better. greetings from brazil

[@jeankounavis]

thank you so much for sharing this moya, you really help me and always remember that you're not alone

[@janisargeswara]

This video makes me miss Lembongan so much. I lived there for a couple of years and seeing you go around the island I call home is so nice to see!

[@brinajeffries544]

i really appreciate your honesty in this video! completely relatable

[@atheajhane]

everything that you say, you put effort to, what you do, what you capture, is ART an art that everyone inspires to become and to do

[@fit2642]

I'll always be here Moya. You are one of people that can always remind me to bring gentleness in my life

[@carolinanunes1447]

moya, watching your videos since you've been in new york really make me feel like we're besties and known each other for years. So I feel the need to comment and confort you. It's okay to have lows sometimes but you should be so proud of yourself. It's so inspiring seeing you exploring the world and I can honestly say that you're wiser than most people in their 60 years old that I know. I can't stress this enough, but you're so brave to travel from one country to another and grow a little bit more in each place. It's incredibly heart warming to see the beautiful soul you're becoming. I know it's hard sometimes because we can be our worse critics, but take a look at how much you've seen, learned and grown over the past few years. Be proud of yourself. I know I'm proud of you. Thank you for once again showing us your beautiful adventures without filters. You truly have a friend in all of us 🤍

[@devitazzahra]

Thank you for being vulnerable; it never is easy to come to terms with the fact that you’re alone when you wish you have someone to share the uneasy feelings with. I’m Indonesian, I love seeing my country from your perspectives. I just hope you’ll find company and familiarity in such place where the language (and probably everything else) must feel foreign to you. Keep going Mo, semangat! 🤍🐄

[@alicekoebel491]

I just wanted to say that you seem to be a lovely person + you inspire me so much for becoming more independent myself and travelling (on my own). Keep going !!

[@aliciamachado7275]

i love her videos so so so much. i hope you feel better soon, moya. feelings are natural, let them come and go naturally, don't hold on to them. :)

[@vivianbb]

Hi moya!! Glad you are feeling better. I am solo travelling as well for a year and the highs and lows can be a lot! Just lean in to the discomfort and take care of yourself whenever possible! Sending love and really feeling for you !

[@manilamoses6930]

Sending sm healing and love and light your way!!🫶🏾🤍💓🫂 I appreciate you sharing w me sm!!

[@andreyapatinha6727]

This is what I’ve wondered about traveling alone. I’m scared to be with my thoughts for so long. Props to you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your own mind. 😊 keep up the videos. I absolutely love them

[@sharlotececilia]

been loving your bail diariesss so much🥺🥺❤❤❤❤🦋🦋

[@andreavillalobos585]

moya is my biggest inspiration rn! I want to be able to live adventures by my own like her and enjoying life as much as she shows us in her videos but hearing her talking about the least pretty part of solo traveling made me conscious of how hard is living away from people you love, despite the fact that you are doing it for growing yourself. and that makes me admire her more 🫶🏼 you'll be okey girl just try to find ur balance and all is going to be good here we are for supporting u 💕kisses from Peru I hope someday you could travel to my country.

[@kattensilverregn340]

I think that, at least for me, what makes someone interesting to watch is when they're being genuinely themselves, with all emotions up or down, just showing a human experience. I very much related to your emotional struggles here, I think it's very common to feel unworthy and disappointed in oneself, especially when travelling alone. This video was very sweet and tender, it's so beautiful that you let us see a piece of your experience and that you share so vulnerably. Thank you

[@marleymartin1272]

this was so calming. i love the way you speak your words

[@amalahmad7223]

Moya you make the most beautiful videos, you make them feel like a movie you can watch over and over again 💞 Thank you for sharing these experiences

[@elisazouza]

Your videos are so comforting!!!

[@amirabuchari3074]

i relate to youuuu. im such a nostalgic person and sometimes people tell me to not always bring up the past in every conversation but idk thinking and talking about the past makes me feel a type of way. like i always find it difficult to accept the present and just be in it:') but i am learning how to accept it and enjoy every moment. its hard but yk its part of the process:D

[@desivanwaterschoot8079]

thanks for sharing this :) it makes me feel warm inside to see you go inwards and find the courage to feel so deeply

[@becca7848]

love love love u and this vlog. you inspire me sm and i hope to have the courage to travel solo one day

[@junneeg5144]

I’m so in love with this vlog. It remains me the times in Bali 2016 I was stay here for a month. Could not describe how happy I was now I trap home with cause Covid.

[@tamunagegiadze6594]

Dear moya, your videos are always so calming, relaxing, beautiful, it always fills me up with positive energy, thanks for sharing all this to us 🥰 yesterday was a tough day for me, and after seeing this vlog, I feel much better, it reminded me how beautiful life really is, with all ups and downs, we have to cherish each day

[@lorenavieira8389]

dealing with all these fellings especially on your own can be hard, but I hope you're doing well! really appreciate you being so honest... everything is going to be okay ❤ you're amazing! ✨

[@ashleypaling1951]

I really hope that although you’ve been feeling low lately, you’ll be able to come out on the other side with something positive from this experience. I’m always a big believer in we have to ride the lows to get to the highs, and I have a feeling you’ll be on your way up soon 💕

[@swangxswang]

This video got me emotional 🥺 you’re doing absolutely amazing Moya!! I look up to your creativity that shows up in your videos so much. We are our own worst critics sometimes

[@dancingdani25]

I'm feeling exactly the same way as you right now. I've been in quarantine with covid and each day my mental state has slipped further and further into a dark place. I'm also feeling lonely and not liking myself at the moment but I'm trying to remind myself to just surrender for a while because it will pass. Today I plan to journal and do a few small things around the apartment to give me a sense of purpose and accomplishement and also be gentle with myself. Your video was a great reminder that we all have these feelings. No one is immune and you can't escape it even while you're in paradise. You seem like such a beautiful soul and your videos are a light for so many people. So while you don't feel your best right now, just know that you are something positive in many of our lives. 🤍✨

[@Somisom09]

I never get tired watching all your vlogs since I discovered your youtube channel (Dublin Vlog Era)!! This Indonesia vlog made me in love and now I’m planning to go there soon, also u made me buy Murukami’s book Killing commendatore.. I love u sm Moya!!

[@abdulkhalik2826]

This is a goodvlog anyway. Thank you moya, ur vlog makes me wanna plan my holiday to lembongan for this year 😂

[@emmarichardson5859]

The bit about feeling uncomfortable and not liking yourself… thank you for saying it. Such a pervasive thought recently for me as well

[@chaskasalazar]

Ah Moya i absolutel loved this vlog. So honest and raw, also thank you for touching on loneliness while traveling alone. I recently moved to a different country on my own and can highly relate. Lots of love X

[@__tylerlang]

Loving these vlogs Moya 🌼✨

[@fionastakelum2283]

Moya’s in her eat pray love era this year and I’m living💅🏼✨

[@ektas3688]

I can relate so much to you..I am also very nostalgic and keep visiting past often in my thoughts

[@guillerminacosta]

I hope you feel better, getting sick when you're traveling is a downer, but you know how to get up after a few days! I'm loving these videos in Indonesia

[@LauraSuarez-ro8ew]

Moya love your videos, keep strong, sending you some loveee

[@thebigcj]

Your vlogs are always inspirational Moya 💗 You're one of the reasons I started my YT channel 📷 Thank you 🥳🥳

[@jazzminangela]

my favourite travel diaries yet!!

[@lorenavibes]

thank you for your honesty, cheer up ❤️

[@fikab8775]

So sorry you felt bad Moya, we’re happy seeing you smile, so I hope it gets better and better for you, even in your own company 🤍 can’t wait for your Jakarta and Jogja vlogs if you happen to record them, sad I couldn’t see you while you were in Jakarta but I hope we’ll meet someday 🤍

[@auntyvic]

Your honesty towards the end was very refreshing 🌿

[@emmabarolin]

sending a big hug to wherever u are rn

[@ivychen3097]

i see what moya reads and i add it to my goodreads to-read

[@tay__be333]

I've traveled a decent amount alone as well & I can completely relate to the low and lonely points! SO may beautiful liberating highs and confidence from knowing I can travel alone and enjoy it as well as have my back.... but it's also okay to reach points where you don't need to be alone anymore or push through it... A lot of people can't even imagine doing something like international travel alone and for understandable reasons! It's a big deal. Proud of you for weathering all the moments. Both have such beautiful qualities and lessons. You're realness and rawness is a valuable insight into the reality that it's not always so glamorous to be traveling solo or with company, and how you can still have low points and be so grateful for the gift and ability to travel. Both can exist. && its always okay to just go home ( from my last experience I technically didn't even have a home, moved out before my travels.. but I just went back to the most familiar place I knew for a little bit to recharge and it made a world of a difference).We do need people and to feel connection with others at the end of the day.

[@daniellemizrahi1720]

Wow this hit me hard.. i don't want to talk about myself, but i definitely know what you're going through. And your'e not alone. I recently went to a place that i have been to with the person i loved. We are not together anymore. And it hurts not of losing them, but feeling like you miss that warmth and passion from another. Not saying we are not happy with our selves. But it's needed. And even though we travel to the most beautiful cities and countries, it hurts a little not sharing it with someone else. You are not alone. You have us and in time you will find that person. You got this beautiful. stay strong and thousands of people look up to you. I'm one of them. :)