Externalization

[@muhammedeminkizilkaya8014]

I really like the way you talk and the examples you give. Thank you very much.

[@jonfrederickson3269]

So glad you find these videos helpful.

[@kristinestep6507]

Great analyses. Thank you so much for your amazing work, Dr Frederickson!

[@researchlab7793]

You are the best! Thanks so much for doing these videos!

[@Sunny-s1de]

How do you handle or call the situation when a patient has actually been mistreated. Treated without respect, having family memberd saying nasty comment etc and therefore blames them for making the patient feel bad? Thats not externalising is it? Or is it in a way? The patient mentions he doesnt know how to handle those sutuations and becomes victim of those people.

[@happymgtowhappy9635]

Use your stuff all the time!

[@MrSchmouz]

Thank you for doing this very interesting video, Jon A person I know very well has a very high degree of externalization. And I have been thinking about how to react to her. So this video was very helpful on this. But why is it that if I imagine asking the questions that you did ask in this vignette ("Was it you who chose to ...") to this person, I am very convinced that these questions will not be welcome at all and she will not be able to accept them at all but she will perceive any reaction that deviates from feeling sorry for her to be somewhat lecturing?

[@jonfrederickson3269]

She may mistakenly think you are hurting you because she doesn't see how her behavior is hurting her. When you ask these questions, and she thinks you are hurting her, be sure to ask, "Am I hurting you, or could these behaviors be hurting you?" If she insists that you should feel sorry for her and blame the other person, you could say, "If we blame him, the problem is there is nothing you can do but wait for him to change. Why make yourself his hostage, unable to change until he does?"