Ezio Auditore vs Miles Morales | The Snark Tank Podcast:

[@dylanandino4759]

Sweeney not understanding why the electric sword is stupid lives rent-free in my head

[@cherrygrabber7172]

Clearly Miles is trying to be Sasuke Uchiha with his Chidori Eiso. Or Mega Man, just grabbing power ups from bosses. I'm guessing Electro.

[@kkammei]

Him thinking Miles having a lightning sword is completely fine but thinks Ezio knowing Da Vinci is stupid is beyond my comprehension. Also him saying Assassin’s Creed is stupid because of them just having fun with alternate history while Captain America is flash frozen, freeze dried, and rehydrated back into the modern age with all the random alternate history shit is fine. Also- x1000 blah blah I’d be tossing myself across the room like that guy attacking the judge in any one of these guys’ arguments

[@cementbox4430]

@@cherrygrabber7172Miles is just trying to be all the other black super heroes.

[@cherrygrabber7172]

Spider-Man with a Web Blitzball would fit. If he's more urban than suburban.

[@khailtacular]

Sweeney's ability to delude himself into thinking that the electric sword is anything but stupid just astounds me. It's like a kindergartener saying, "nuh uh"

[@brohemianrhapsody5740]

1:50:01 Let's get into the credits. There's an hour left of the episode.

[@publican90]

It’s okay that a person with spider powers can make an electric sword but someone living in 15th century Italy bumping into someone else that lived in 15th century Italy is a step too far

[@kingster14444]

It's probably the least unrealistic part of the game lol, like it would probably be really easy to have met Leonardo during that time. It's not like he's a modern celebrity living in a mansion far away from everyone else. He was right there in a studio in the city of Florence, then later in Venice.

[@iloveyoual32]

Sweeney's complete and utter lack of understanding of physics is astounding... Keep living the ignorant dream, king

[@Ryzawa]

he kinda lit like dat doe

[@darkredash2317]

I love your podcast style. Just shooten the shit, never miss an episode. Helps me get through my 10 hour shifts.

[@Boredman567]

"In The End" needs to become "In My End" or something.

[@DeathB3foreDawn]

I put my thrust, in you, I pushed as hard as I could, bro! But in the end, there’s just fecal matter 🎶

[@emilrogengellschwaner3555]

This is like the 4th podcast in a week

[@TheMasterJCL]

I love how Chris at 39:30 essentially just describes the concept behind the backrooms and has no idea that he did that.

[@donet0death240]

I feel like we’ve been asking the same question since the first people went missing indescribably

[@AB-wn3qz]

Y’all be dropping episodes faster than I can listen to

[@seymourpant]

Seriously, 8 hours a week is way too much - doesn’t help that half of the show is dedicated to reading unfunny patreon names

[@EmpireAnts42]

​@@seymourpantSkill issue tbh

[@gonefsh1n]

@@seymourpant havin no a sense of humor is crazy !!! how u livin out here bro bro

[@seymourpant]

@@gonefsh1n I see you’re a true Snark Tank fan, you have to fit the word “crazy” into every sentence

[@seymourpant]

@@EmpireAnts42 I used to be able to keep up, but it’s legit an hour or more per day now. I don’t know who can stomach that much of this podcast

[@tasquato9633]

I still haven't even made it to the Jizzler man goddamn

[@Ryzawa]

skill issue frankly

[@GraveSource]

I’m here now lol

[@starhustler1453]

This episode is smooth brain Sweeney at its finest.

[@minus1178]

Every time that I happen to agree with Sweeny on something I do heaping amounts of research just to be sure I am categorically wrong

[@Ryzawa]

Gotta love the 1 hour name read, I was afraid this episode was gonna be a shorter one.

[@kremlindagremlin]

This episode is added to the pile of episodes that can immediately get me out of a depressive rut

[@wheresmyrooptoff4056]

"soy sauce and rice" didnt know derrick was white like that

[@dookieburrito9196]

Cringe

[@someguy7819]

Durarara pfp

[@wheresmyrooptoff4056]

@@someguy7819 Real

[@HExtraordinaire]

Somewhiteguy

[@Yumemaru.]

Hell yeah, a long episode. Nah, I'd win.

[@kimorayn1733]

4:14 "The Mics I used to use in my videos" Once upon a time, long ago...

[@bobrubins8976]

My favorite part about the old ac games is they had really hard ways to assassinate people and if you did it the “right” way it gave you achievements, and black flags was the first game where I actually tried to play it the right way instead of cheesing it. I think it’s a really good way to make games.

[@NiyaTheKitsune]

Derrick simply doesn't know the actual title of Jujutsu Kaisen.

[@kingster14444]

Ezio knowing Davinci when he's a son of a wealthy/powerful family that lives in Florence, then later Ezio having to go to Venice as well, is probably the least unrealistic part of that game. LOL!

[@lilithtetterton5014]

whats messed up? I've watched every one of those Quinton videos in their entirety. Full red bars. And I enjoyed it. God help us

[@fatherlessbehavior1038]

Countdown at 1:55:53, followed by an additional hour of podcast. I love this show so much

[@iankadleck2238]

I love Derrick at 58 minutes understanding this argument is going to take a minute so he has time to eat.

[@mvalesmvales7096]

30:21 Chris’ line delivery on “…it’s a woman in it” is academy award worthy.

[@viva3401]

Man I remember Cytherea/Belladonna video. It's such a weird feeling to know we all shared that experience

[@hottracl27]

It's crazy they just mentioned short hair and a gap in her teeth and I immediately knew who they were talking about

[@LanceUppercut]

Derrick is spot on with the GLs. There was even a time during an arc when Sinestro was a GL again, and called out Hal for doing things like making a giant baseball mitt to catch falling people (when he himself just had "strings" of the energy go out and grab each person).

[@TheMasterJCL]

Can I reccomend 'In the end, I covered him in batter.' as an ending to the In The End lyric.

[@BazzasKitchen]

Wtf is derrick talking about? My voicemail comes in a text and I just hit the play button

[@caps1ze572]

You know the credits have gone on too long when SWEENEY is getting impatient

[@HasturMora]

It's funny you guys mention Sweeney being a serial rapper because ever since his introduction I've had a head canon of him being a cryptid known as Big Weenie Sweeney. It's an illusive, animal like creature with a torso-length, prehensile appendage that leaves its victims' orifices, abdomen and throat stretched out and distended from hours of merciless copulation. Then he coats them in a gelatinous adhesive, keeping them in place for later use if they survive being turned into human focaccia dough. Due to pheromones and natural penile secretions victims find the experience pleasurable and are often found smiling under gobs of chunky semen, however lawmen and vengeful husband's have been hunting the gash reaming smasher for years, often winding up as victims themselves.

[@soupisgoodfood]

bro when they started reading names and there's still an hour left 😭

[@oh_god_dammit]

2:37:40 Snark Tank guest Dave Rubin

[@Rheylent]

The friend discussion I find to be really interesting, because it shows how different people have different ideas and perspectives. I've met many people who I would say are pretty cool and are nice acquaintances, but they've seen me, or still see me, as a friend. Everyone has different boundaries and criteria on what makes someone a friend. Hell, I know someone who used to view everyone they met as a friend by default, and they explained that it's up to the other person on what to do with that friendship

[@isseyh8360]

wait until sween finds out davinci was a shield agent

[@dawkterderp]

How long till the Miles Morales Electricity Sword argument ends with Chris or Sweeney killing the other

[@Maxisamo1]

It logically makes more sense that an assassin from a secret organization in Renaissance Italy would be family friends with DaVinci, than for a guy who can shoot lightning out of his hands to then HAVE THAT LIGHTNING MAINTAIN THE FORM AND SHARPNESS OF A FUCKING SWORD

[@philippstetter5611]

I feel called out. Ive been watching this very podcast in 2x speed ever since YT added that feature

[@deadmeme902]

I already watched the Patreon upload so I’m just dropping in to say fuck y’all, Connor was the GOAT, Ezio was a funny guy who got milked for three games straight and nobody else got that benefit, even still Connor is the best. Yeah AC3 was a lil serious compared to the others, still easily one of my favorite stories, y’all just hate that boy Connor because he stood on business and was really out here I am a Connor glazer, if he has no fans then I’m dead, Kenway saga was the best story line in the franchise, I would rather play Haytham’s prologue segment over and over than finish Valhalla

[@irishempire9811]

nobody wants to finish Valhalla, and i think Edward Kenway is the best AC protaginast, but i understand why people like Connor

[@sirhenrymf]

Connor fucking sucked, he was so boring

[@chiefzombie9184]

I love that this episode is the first one I saw when I started my brand new patreon subscription to you guys

[@comhaltacht315]

31:20 The boys mind meld

[@TheShlumpo]

the miles sword thing and eletric powers feels like hes tryna be static shock a bit

[@steelgriffin7716]

No Derrek. Horses are native to North America. it's complicated.

[@JKAV_76]

Black SPIDER-MAN = Static Shock

[@LoneGh0ste]

Sweeney is getting so insufferable with this “I read comics so my arguments are infallible” shit. He then proceeds to make arguments that don’t even make sense by comic reader standards. Anyone can read a comic bro don’t mean you know what you’re talking about.

[@than217]

I'm about to turn 40, but I've never felt older in my life than when they were confused about who Jennifer Love Hewitt is and said they never listened to any of her music...

[@HalfBrainGamers]

I know what Chris means when he says how certain games take a while to click for him. Baldur's Gate 3 didnt click for me the first time, too many enemies, too long waiting for my turn, too many allies to control and strategize with, so i dropped it. Came back and started a solo rogue campaign and have been enjoying ways to get past encounters a lot. Fun game, i get it now.

[@Twinnecrotic]

13:00 what the fuck are you talking about. You haven't needed to call for voicemails on Android for years.

[@Cleanframe]

Jennifer Love was in I Know What You Did Last Summer... It was a part of the late 90s early 2000s slasher/horror boom spearheaded by the Scream movie, so y'all were partially right

[@gavinmorin]

Sweeney is out of pocket. Miles Morales creating A SWORD MADE OF ELECTRICITY being cool and fine but Ezio, who lives in 15th century Italy during the height of the renaissance, meeting DaVinci is too stupid for him to understand? He’s had bad takes before but this might the most annoying one 😂. Gotta love the arguments on the podcast though.

[@xxtortellini1016]

31:51 yes

[@pointbranden608]

As much as AC games get so much shit. I think the early trailers are so badass.

[@Mikesapien]

2:49:00 You know it's a banger episode when the credits start and there's an hour left.

[@kimorayn1733]

That talk about Wires was fucking riveting, boys. More content like that, please.

[@faisalhussain2270]

I crunched the numbers and Chris is right 1:46:33 this guy has made more videos about Sam & Cat than the entire run time of the show itself.

[@y.o.h.i]

They poppin these at quick

[@duskplains1235]

Derrick reminded me of Homer eating donuts in hell at the start lol

[@meepmoopiethe3rd]

Is it me, or is Sweeney getting dumber by the episode? I don't remember him being like that in earlier episodes, but now it feels like every single episode he's making some nonsensical argument full of misused words (my man does not know what vapid means, bless his heart). If that's just a bit they're trying out, it's really annoying.

[@ZeroKitsunei]

I thought for sure you were going to say "What if Biden called a press conference, and was like Haha Jack, gotchu! You really thought I was senile? 5 year long prank! I pranked all of America, Jack!" But what you said was way crazier.

[@corey_clip]

Classic Derrick just assuming Samsung doesn't have that voicemail feature

[@SomethingAbout1925]

Actually I think it depends on your service provider because MetroPCS required you to do the dial in voicemail and you had to go out of your way to change it to the default one that Derrick wanted

[@corey_clip]

@@SomethingAbout1925 interesting. I have att and I have a voicemail app that does it

[@sjoerddondersteen1337]

23:50 derrick & kingston are crinkle toe men confirmed

[@SaintMaxxi]

Chris goes to grab his Lacey harddrive and he just holds Lacey Greene

[@vorenado3874]

24:55 derrick discovered gooning for the first time

[@TheArgoNinja]

The idea of Miles' making weapons out of electricity isn't too farfetched. HOWEVER! It shouldn't be a solid sword; it should be at most electric claws or a jagged dagger. Something unstable that limits it's size/use.

[@ballinbandit1564]

keep dropping these quick boys I think this podcast will be the dogs shit when you reach final form

[@sjoerddondersteen1337]

2:35:45 the existence of the average snark tank stan in a nutshell

[@trepannedzygote9026]

jjk is the most popular anime, chris, and derrick are just out of the loop lmao

[@HExtraordinaire]

Sweeney, that girl didn't like you because you were trying to get with her even though you already had a girlfriend. She saw through your bullshit No offense to Sweeney-chan

[@nirvanajunkie8798]

The reason you call the FD when you think there’s a fire is because you don’t know if others have. It’s called the bystander effect and I’m shocked you didn’t think of that Derrick lol -10 points to you

[@patrickwerner4723]

57:12 you take AC too seriously to come to this conclusion

[@BrandonCavallaro26]

literally a day later the p diddy stuff happens. lmao

[@SB-yx6rb]

1:04:00 Am I crazy or did they have this EXACT same conversation before? I know the sword came up but I remember Chris saying the exact same thing about a spit sword and Sweeny saying he almost fell asleep in a previous episode. Am I finally losing grip with reality completely?

[@Boredman567]

2:00:06 Chris's real name

[@sheldonlarmond6217]

Cody Ziglar's Miles Morales run is great, the sword is dumb asf but it's still cool, argue with a wall

[@simongrove2369]

Onimusha 1 had an HD on Switch

[@CpnCrunchwrap]

Sorry sween but that miles argument was dogshit, lightning sword is very stupid

[@trinidaddy]

I would maybe be compelled to agree with Chris if he didn't argue like an insufferable reddit incel.

[@CpnCrunchwrap]

@@trinidaddy jesus christ man that’s a little far

[@pleoTCA]

Wait Hold on, I want to hear the AirB&B story

[@TACKO3D]

i didn't start using HDMI till PS4 I had bad TVs until then.

[@sjoerddondersteen1337]

1:00:03 go off short king chris

[@ThePlanetofJalune]

Look those Quinton Review videos go hard.

[@charlottejerde1021]

27:37 me! I can't watch anything less than. 1.5x speed. You guys sound drunk and lethargic when I listen on normal speed. It's crazy! Like, I legit can't go back!

[@clownymoosebean]

I'm 3 months behind on streams. Please tell me if Derrick's call to action was heeded. I too would like to see that video. For Posterity. Edit: I have a bandana signed by some 90s grunge band. With their power imbued into it, what kind of powers would I get if I wore it? Edit2: "I feel like I'm watching a dog eating its own vomit when I hear Kingston talk." Chris went nuclear with that one.

[@Ben-Doverbich]

As a man of culture i indeed also remember the exact clip they are talking about :D

[@ufailowell]

Derrick thinking the show is called jujitsu kaisen and not jujutsu kaisen lol

[@trinidaddy]

Tbf Japanese jiu jitsu is just called jujutsu in Japan and it's what inspired the creation of bjj. Still pretty dumb of him to assume the word jujutsu only means martial arts when he doesn't speak Japanese.

[@exetone]

Holy fuck it took them 57 minutes to read the names this episode

[@thealphareich]

You have to be severely tech illiterate to not know that there are many voicemail apps you can use on android/galaxy phones.

[@sjoerddondersteen1337]

2:25:16 ruthless chris 2:26:19 ruthless derrick

[@mathieuleader8601]

fun fact in 2000 Oprah was Trump's VP choice under the reform party banner

[@teensierkitty4214]

I need to stop eating while watching these that shit snow was foul

[@ghostcat11]

so with linux you can use tiling windows(like your programs shrink and move to fit evenly next to each other) so you can have 4 winnows of porn per monitor and its still visible, so imagine that on the 6 monitor developer dream set up

[@MemberRoach]

I spoke with the oracle, and it would be technically possible to acquire Stephen Hawking's remains and have them displayed in a private museum or something. Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a possibility. And on the recurring topic of Miles Morales; It would make more sense if he just use electricity on a sword or some other blade. But a black teenager with a knife sends the wrong message, I think.

[@FunkyFox39]

Sometimes i think I'm the only one that actually likes the modern day parts of AC

[@godwings101]

VDS bleeding into the episode again

[@BrandEver117]

An electric sword is dumb for Electro nevermind Miles Morales

[@thelegendofnavi]

I have a galaxy s21, and i have a voice-mail app. It was on here by default. If Derrick had a more recent galaxy, how the heck did he not have that?

[@BertzTriscut]

"It makes no sense for Assassin's Creed to be about people using technology to peer into the past and hunt for ancient alien artifacts. Anyway, it makes perfect sense for Spider-Man to summon lightning swords from thin air." Ok, let me speak as a welder for a sec because I needed to come back. Electricity very explicitly needs a place to go. Without some sort of magnetizing or itherwise attracting force, it will shoot out at random. Hell, even when welding, if the electric arc is too long, your weld will turn out shit because the electric current is too sporadic rather than focused into a small and direct part. Jjust to give you an idea for that, you can go from a clean weld to shooting molten metal everywhere by pulling the stick back a mere 2 millimeters. And Miles can create a sword. A whole ass sword. He has Magneeto powers or magic if he can actually pull that off.

[@kimorayn1733]

At this upload schedule, I'm scared the boys are just gonna take a year off. And not mention it at all, Derrick makes metal videos and ignores the comments, Chris goes Live with Sween and Chat is buzzing but they gloss over everything not Gaming-Related.... and then it just starts up again like nothing happened.

[@Boredman567]

Cytherea is Big Water.

[@daynmitchell7543]

Ezio kinda looks like Chris!!

[@SuperInsanewolf]

derek might like mirage then cause they NEVER switch to a modern person