Fabienne Brugère - Désaimer : manuel d'un retour à la vie

Fabienne Brugère vous présente son ouvrage "Désaimer : manuel d'un retour à la vie" aux éditions Flammarion. Entretien avec Sylvie Hazebroucq.
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[@patrickpoladian3425]

Merci beaucoup Fabienne , quel touchant sujet que vous avez sans aucun douter avec respect et amour.

[@AlexansrePaulJoseph1966]

Pas de désamour (si amour veritable) après une rupture ou séparation ni de reconstruction mais la possibilité d'une nouvelle rencontre affective qui consolera/chassera progressivement l'amour perdu sinon ce sera : "(...) peut-être cela qu'on cherche à travers la vie, rien que cela, le plus grand chagrin possible pour devenir soi-même avant de mourir." L.F Céline

[@Philomobile]

Il me semble qu'ici, il est plutôt question d'attachement et de détachement que d'amour. Or on peut aimer sans être attaché. Si l'on en croit Spinoza "l'amour c'est la joie accompagnée de l'idée d'une cause extérieure". Donc on peut éprouver de la joie sans être soi-même attaché à cette cause, ainsi on peut aimer un écrivain, un artiste des temps passé, on peut par aimer une personne qui est décédée ou dont on est séparé sans avoir besoin qu'elle nous aime en retour. On l'aime par qu'en pensant à elle cela cause une joie en nous. Dans l'épreuve dont parle ici Fabienne Brugère il est question d'accepter de ne pas être aimé et d'apprendre à se détacher, ce qui n'est pas la même chose que "désaimer" (ce qui voudrait dire ne plus éprouver de joie à l'idée de cette causes extérieure).

[@patrickpoladian3425]

Y a-t-il une traduction en anglais ce serait chouette de l’avoir. Merci!

[@Andreas2000]

Part 2: it is in this perspective that I have that I have really used we could say fouo because in fouo there is indeed the whole idea of caring for oneself it is a moment when it becomes imperative to care for oneself but when we read you we have the sensation that we could learn that despite everything you talk about Débora LVI for example in your book and the relationship with everyday life and we have the impression when we read you that ultimately no one and nothing prepares us precisely for this idea of the relationship with oneself before the test before arriving at the test why do we not consider this learning precisely what prevents us from transmitting in the parental bond for example the relationship with oneself as ultimately stability because that's what you're talking about our ability to experience the ordeal with a form of serenity how can we experience an ordeal like separation in particular when it is suffered in sep in serenity we are confronted in these these moments of sorrow we are confronted with pain we are confronted with something which relates to a tragic moment of existence it is really the image of the wall so how could we inaugurate a relationship with ourselves which is precisely serene what I mean by that is that I still started a lot uh from the question of the love experience and the end of the love experience or when we are confronted with the end of the love experience and all the more so when we don't see this end coming and well it's incomprehensible it's an incomprehensible moment example uh two people living together for a long time and it happens very frequently all of a sudden one leaves in the morning she has breakfast with her partner and in the evening she packs her bags and says I'm leaving and these are extremely common cases of separation it's incomprehensible it's incomprehensible for the person who therefore remains the the very moment it is that of the IMP possibility of explaining the situation and that is what interested me as a philosopher it is precisely this moment when we understand nothing and we are confronted if you want to extreme suffering and so I left in this perspective if you also want from my philosophical tradition that is to say from the fact that these incomprehensible moments refer not to what we are but to what we become with the trials of life the accidents of life it is a trial it is a trial of life and this trial of life must be able to be analyzed through a subject which is which is not a subject exclusively rational which is a subject one could say full of affect which is a subject confronted with its passions and when we speak of a subject confronted with its passions well we also speak of situations in which there are there are the incomprehensible in which there are contradictions in which there are ambiguities and at that moment well one must precisely be able to practice the path of disenchantment with everything that he will understand in terms of distance that we will try to take in terms of analysis of what we experienced from the silences of the troubles of the arguments in terms also of passionate investment on the side of the anger on the side of guilt on the side of what can also be a feeling of abandonment so it is really a question of making a path from an incomprehensible situation which is extremely painful but which deserves an analysis there you have taken the typical case where one of the two is actually abandoned and where it is therefore very difficult to prepare for the shock in the end but in your book you address lots of situations also of disenchantment even if this one takes a place important there is also the one who disloves and who leaves disenchantment who experiences the situation much better even though sometimes he is troubled by it and then there are also cultures in which we nourish the idea that something which stops must indicate a thank you to the fact of having existed and therefore having had the chance to live with someone and who disappears today but in our society we evoke IVA and all of you by talking about emotional capitalism and saying that 'so for now we our our society it also nourishes this disenchantment with lots of questions like for example morality which happens you say to yourself well all of a sudden there is one of the two who leaves uh but sometimes it doesn't go away but it is hurtful enough for us to have to leave and this is the case with infidelity for example but what makes us for example we can't say to ourselves that we have evolved that we have changed that we can progress together

[@sandrinecicatello7379]

La journaliste n'a pas l'air de connaître l'amour, ou d'avoir connu l'amour....Elle pose des questions étranges...

[@Andreas2000]

En fait, je pense que c'est davantage une question d'expérience / parcours différent. Personnellement, je trouve très logiques les questions de la journaliste, surtout à la fin, lorsqu'elle demande comment préparer la fin de l'amour. Fabienne ne cesse de répéter avec des mots différents : « on ne peut pas se préparer à quelque chose qui arrive d'un coup ». Mais la fin d'un amour est rarement véritablement inattendue. Elle est généralement précédée d'un manque de réelle communication et réflexion. À mon avis, vivre sur un nuage rose a plus à voir avec les hormones, les vœux pieux et l'espoir, qu'ils soient ou non façonnés par le passé de quelqu'un. Mais je suis complètement d'accord qu'un fin abrupte d'une telle chose peut conduire à se reconnecter avec soi-même et ses attentes désirs les plus profonds.