Faith & Suffering | Leaning On God’s Sovereignty

I didn’t want her to see my tears, but when the charge nurse stopped me on the way to the elevator, I couldn’t hide them.
“Who were you here to see?” She asked in a kind tone. “Are we taking good care of you?”
“Oh, yes…” I gave my brother’s name and assured her the staff was doing a great job. I tried to respond with a cohesive line of thought.
It’s just… Just what? Just hard - scary - painful to see my brother suffer for so many years? But I didn’t have to articulate any of that. I mumbled a few words that probably weren’t even necessary because she already knew. The compassion in her eyes spoke volumes, and she paused for a moment before speaking again.
“We don’t always know why we have to suffer. But suffering is a fruit of the Spirit, and ultimately, it will be for God’s glory.”
I stared across the low desk at the nurses’ station and allowed her words to settle over me, a little surprised at the boldness of this stranger, but also grateful for her heart of encouragement in a moment of need and knowing the words were true. In Galatians 5:22, longsuffering is listed as a fruit of the Spirit, and 1 Corinthians 13:4 says charity suffers long and is kind.
Yet, if I’m really honest, suffering is hard for me to bear, and it’s hard for me to talk about. That might sound obvious, and perhaps it’s a universal truth you relate to as well. But if you’re like me - I often feel deep down that if my faith is strong enough, or if I pray hard enough and wait long enough - God will eventually bow to my will, instead of me surrendering to His.
Of course, I probably wouldn’t admit it outright, but as I’ve wrestled with these thoughts lately, those sentiments have bubbled to the surface and I sometimes struggle with knowing how to carry them.
Within a four-week window this summer, both of my brothers had unexpected stays in the hospital. One from severe chronic nerve pain that resulted in a minor surgical procedure, and the other from a bizarre chain of events related to what seemed to be a minor injury, but instead required immediate vascular surgery and will likely turn into a long road of recovery.
During the past few months, I’ve found myself internalizing a lot of tension with these situations and other circumstances as well, willing only good and pleasant outcomes and wanting to predict the results of my enduring faith. Yet, I know such decisions are not mine to make.
I think of Hebrews 11 where two groups of people are outlined in their faith journey. Some received powerful miraculous outcomes, while others did not. Even still, according to verse 39, all of them received a good report through faith.
I know in our life here on earth, suffering is a big topic that does not include a one size fits all answer - and I feel inadequate to even broach the subject. But at the same time, I want to offer encouragement in the form of a gentle reminder if you need it.
The fulfillment of your faith is not determined by the circumstances around you. God provides. He protects and He sustains. He alone decides the outcome, but above all, He is glorified when we fix our gaze on Him throughout the process.
#christianencouragement
#faithjourney
#suffering
#hebrews11
#galatians5
#1corinthians13
#trustingod
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