Father Knows: Parental Figures -- Father Knows Something Podcast

[@sheener5368]

I’m surprised this channel isn’t growing faster. I’m slowly learning to be more emotionally mature. Thank you guys

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

Awhh so glad you're loving it and getting something out of it! We gotta get going on our titkoks

[@malifex9922]

Morgan was SPICY today, and I love it! It's a sign of a good relationship when you can argue with a parent and not hurt each other in the process.

[@meganb6609]

He doesn't want kids anymore. If that is a non-negotiable for you then prepare for a divorce. One child is not a compromise. At 26 you still have time to meet someone else and have a child.

[@amarahsrabbitry1073]

I am 22 and a new mom. I knew my husband would be an incredible dad because during pregnancy when I was so sick and unable to do much of anything, he selflessly picked up the slack for weeks at a time on top of his overtime job. No sex either for 6 weeks because I was so sick. He never once complained or made me feel bad. Now as a dad he has been so helpful and present. He takes our 2 week old boy out on walks in the stroller so I can take naps, and he prepares all the food for us. Soon he goes back to work but I know he will always appreciate the work I put in and be an active helper at home. I couldn’t imagine less! How can a man watch his wife go through the constant hardship of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood and not be forever changed?!

[@briana9756]

I'm a millennial parent of an 11 yr old and a five year old. I listen to this podcasts and two hot takes EVERY EPISODE! I have notifications on, and always look forward to your advice!

[@dianabiondo550]

To Justin’s comment about the 16 year old girl being very emotionally mature and well-spoken: that kind of maturity definitely comes from childhood trauma lol. Coming from somebody who also had that level of maturity at a young age, it came from being forced to grow up after dealing with trauma from my parents, who also eventually divorced, and dealing with the guilt from an uncooperative parent. I wish the best for her❤️

[@tristinm2349]

My boyfriends mother makes it VERY clear to my boyfriend, and his younger sister, that she NEVER wanted kids. Any time that a family member or friend gets pregnant, she will go out of her way to make comments on how “kids do nothing but ruin your life, and keep your from your max potential.” I can’t express how uncomfortable it is to be around and hear. PLEASE do not bring a kid into this world when one parent clearly doesn’t want to be a parent…. Speaking from the perspective of someone who first hand witnesses the way this eats away at a person, please do not bring a child into this world as a compromise to your marriage.

[@kyleeblose3677]

My grandfather did not want my mom and my mom didn't want my sister or myself. My grandma and my dad talked their spouses into kids. I was told from pretty much as early as I can remember my mom (grandparents babysat us) was not wanted, and my sister and I were not wanted. My mom drunkly told us she wished she never had kids many many times. The toll it took on me led to thoughts of suicide at 13, self harm, and years of depression. I did anything with the expectation I would not live to 18. Anyone that does not want kids, you are valid and should not have them if you don't want them. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[@katherinerinck3722]

In response to the last story, as a stay at home parent myself: You. Are. Not. A. Robot. Being a stay at home parent is isolating, difficult, and often underappreciated. You are married to someone who is committed to NOT helping in the domestic labor. I have personally known SAHMs in the same position and it is soul-crushing to say the least. The best way I have heard it explained, vis-a-vis one parent working and the other staying home, is that "you both deserve rest". It is not a competition. Taking care of the kids and household is more than a full time commitment. Ideally, he should pitch in when he is home so that you both have a chance to rest. That is basic human respect. The burnout will not improve. He needs to understand this or you will continue to (rightfully) be angry by the neglect and disrespect. Also, just because you are burnt out does not mean you do not love your kids or appreciate your husband. It means your needs are being completely neglected. It's all too common with stay at home parents. You have to take care of yourself, and it's unacceptable that your partner is not helping to make sure that happens. Counseling is a great start. I wish you all the best.

[@mayrapalma4001]

Morgan being so proud of Justin’s answer lol sooo cute!

[@saras2124]

I can’t even put into words what it’s like hearing such thoughtful words of advice from a level headed father figure. The adult boys in my life are so emotionally stunted, I’m just now coming to terms how this has been dumped on me for the first 20 years of my life. This pod really grounds me and helps me remember I’m allowed to set boundaries when talking doesn’t work, so thank you Jerry Morgan and Justin :)

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

Definitely allowed to set boundaries. We’re so happy you found us ❤️

[@samanthalowry6021]

I’m really glad Morgan chimed in and challenged Jerry when he said something about child free people being selfish. I was feeling very uneasy hearing this view from Jerry, but so glad he clarified what he meant

[@forestfairy8025]

when i was 25 i had been dating a great guy for almost 3 years. we were so compatible and he was solace for me after a miscarriage i experienced with a previous partner. but he neglected to tell me he didnt want children for over a year, and it was the one thing thay was always missing. finally, he broke up with me, citing that this was the most difficult choice he had ever made, because i did decide i was okay with it. but he said i was meant to be a mother and he didnt want to be the reason i ended up regretting something in life.

[@forestfairy8025]

its been nine years since that day. i had another relationship after that, but then at 28 i met my husband. at 34, i am a wife and a mother to the two most beautiful daughters. my husband and i have an incredibly happy marriage. i am so thankful to that man for doing the hard thing wnd leaving a happy relationship so that i could have this amazing life.

[@riatortor05]

Good for you!... thanks for sharing! Im happy you have a happy life.

[@jaylahpennau7327]

My partner told me a year in that he didn't want kids, and tried to leave the relationship because I did want kids at the time. I said no, that I want to try being open to the idea of not having kids. We are still together, because I decided I'd rather have a full happy life with him than have a child with anyone else. Two years later I'm happy I made that decision and didn't give up, but if the writer still hasn't opened up to it at this point, it's time to protect yourself and move on.

[@tutsdgn4809]

The last story I had a few thoughts- OP take it as what resonates to you. - try and fit in a time where your husband has time off work ideally a week. Leave the kids with him and go to your mother's for a break. But make it clear to him that you are raising your children and maintaining your home alone, and doesn't feel like you have the support from your husband emotionally or physically with other responsibilities. - I wouldn't have sex with him either until he gets the message. - Try to explain to him that when you are letting him know of how tired you are , that it's a way to reach out for help / support. Not about who's more tired or who's more sick. It's about helping each other and being there for each other. - Maybe let him know you are not prepared to go on with things as they are until he comes to counselling with you. Non negotiables

[@melon-ata]

It's amazing how I've never sent a write in but every episode on this podcast dad Jeremy always have an advice spot on for me

[@demonicvincent]

Speaking as a child-free woman, thank you Morgan for sticking up for the guy. I was honestly a little hurt hearing how that was going at first. And like yeah that's an incredibly shitty situation, but it's no one's fault, and unfortunately that's not a thing you can compromise on. I hope they both find someone their lives gel better with.

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

No problem ❤️ I overanalyze everythingggg so I just wanted to make sure no one felt attacked.

[@abigailhunt4948]

I am a child-free woman as well, I take care of my two special needs brothers. They are enough for me, I have had custody of them since our parents past away a couple of years ago.

[@kenzieshaye6818]

Great episode, loved the last story’s advice too, “she’s a single mom with 3 kids” haha that was a good one Justin! Loved hearing all of you together 💜💜💜

[@alexandramotto6431]

For the story with the girl that is seeing the problem with her sister and dad. I think she should first talk to her sister before going to her dad. She can gain her sisters perspective and go off from there. It's super sweet that she thinks about her before everything else. True sisters

[@malifex9922]

In regard to the last story with the electrician husband and the kids... it sounds like he has an ego problem. He's unwilling to go to therapy because that requires admitting that he's failed at something, or that someone could offer him advice that he hadn't already thought of. He's always got to be the "sicker" person or the "more tired" person because he's unwilling to admit that someone else could put in as much effort as he is, or that their life could upstage his own in any way, even for the worse. Denial when not related to grief is often a form of submerged guilt. He probably realizes that there are things going wrong, but the easiest course for him to take is to simply override that reality with one of his own making and hope that he can gaslight her into believing it too.

[@juliabennett4431]

My dad did that to my lil "half" sister and I told him if she wasn't going neither was I 😂 I was 10 and we never had an issue after that.

[@yessicagalvan784]

You’re such a hero ❤

[@tianna1116]

Julia good for you!

[@Jimjam3000]

I’m a millennial parent a little younger than Morgan with an almost 7 year old, I love love love this podcast for advice of all kinds. I don’t have a dad or mom like this to go to (grew up mostly in foster care) so I love the parent advice & Morgan/Justin’s take on things since I’m close in age with them.

[@alyssamarie1802]

Okay I loved the cereal ad lmao Jerry’s reactions to the cereal were so cute 😂❤️

[@katiegibbs4097]

This podcast and Two Hot Takes are my two go to shows to listen to during my "me time" in at midnight when I wash bottles and eat Oreos. In all seriousness I have learned so much through this show and try to keep a lot of it in mind when raising my daughter.

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

Thanks Katie for the appreciation. Keep us up-to-date periodically the good stories about raising your daughter. I always love the good stories to, those are the ones that make our heart full…..xo

[@mayakuduwudu]

This is the masculinity we need, men like Jerry and Justin. More confident masculinity, clearly not toxic or insecure.

[@augustlunaonline]

For the first story: I feel that the best course of action for OP is to grey-rock her dad when things start to get heated

[@christinamilis3438]

The story about the mom who needs a break. I am right there with her. I don't have anyone else to take the kids (8,2 &1 and 12 year old step son) My husband won't even watch the kids for me to do anything. I have all the kids. All the time.

[@nammo5569]

I'm so sorry for you, your husband sucks... If I were you I would leave him with the kids, say to him that you need a break, that it's not an option but something that is going to happen, then go on vacation for a week or two, turn down your phone and let him handle things so he can understand better what you're dealing everyday ... And then if he's not willing to share the load I will seriously consider divorce, you will get rid of one kid that way...

[@noralykeller-terbijhe264]

It’s not whatching your kids when they’re your kids..

[@arrowroot2933]

The 1st story is way too relatable. Seriously makes me so sad that this 16yr old is already so "mature", it just shows that this young girl has clearly gone through and seen alot of crap happen. She's had to grow up alot faster than her peers but honestly learning about gray-rocking will be immensely helpful to establishing boundaries and not reacting to her dad with emotions that he can take advantage of.

[@mafaldatavares2288]

For the "single mom with 3 kids" : "bby nr 3 you work 8 hours and I work 24/7 you can be physically tired as I am mentally exhausted. If you think you're right maybe we're gonna have to separate and you will have to pay child support and allamony since I didn't evolve on a career to raise our kids and won't be able to do it in the foreseeable future because our kids are way to little and dependent on me. I'll be a stay at home mom for 8h/ 6 days of the week, the remaining time we will split 50/50 and in my day of you can arrange a nanny or as you see fit. This is going on a post-nup so I can have a proof that this is what we agreed on" if you can't say it, write it! Morgan's suggestion of going away for a week or two is tempting as he wouldn't have a maid to clean and cook for him. If he lives off take out and has some help to clean the house during that week than he can do it for you has well when you're back home.

[@salinastraightedge]

In the wise words of my grandma: (if you're a woman especially) have as many kids as you want, but be prepared to raise them all by yourself. The last story (57:29) is what happens when you have kids with anyone who isn't 1000% sure that they want kids-and a risk you take even if your partner does want kids. The same would happen if the writer from the 45:10 story convinced her husband to "compromise" and have a kid. *For anyone* (in general, really, but especially anyone) *who is thinking about having kids,* I recommend reading _Why Don't You Have Kids? Living a Full Life Without Parenthood._ I would also advise you to go back and listen to the last story, listen to all of the FKS or Two Hot Takes stories dealing with children, and the most recent Two Idot Girls episodes about "weird things you did as a child." 50:46, thank you for saying that, Morgan!!! 🥰

[@awesomeraingirl]

This was the first Father Knows Something episode I've ever watched after binging THT for the past month. I've ADORED Jerry's takes on all the THT episodes he's been in so I wanted to see more of Jerry! I'm so glad I decided to dive into FKS as well cause I fucking LOVE it. Also, I love all the zoom ins on Justin nodding along to what Jerry is saying!

[@krystaljensen2696]

To the last story about the poor stay at home mom..... HE WILL NOT CHANGE! my X and father of my child was the EXACT same way. He would even give false promises of "well lets switch roles." (As if I could even take his position at his job for a week...) But I knew to never even do this, because if we switched roles he blatantly would "half ass" every assigned task and the grind. Men like this don't understand two things.... 1. The wear and tear over time, that it isn't about doing it for a day or a couple weeks, having absolutely no off mode from work is a wear and tear over time type of thing. especially if he is being so heartless about your sick days. 2. They don't understand the amount of self discipline this takes. He could "do" it too, but crappily and then just say its not so hard just so he can prove his point. To this day, my x has turned out to be an even more dead beat dad then I ever would have expected him to be... Even with all of the same complaints you have, I never in a million years thought he would show these horrible true colors as a father in general. I never would have believed or anticipated what a shit father he turned out to be. And yet, even now being as neglectful as he has become (more so) after my leaving, he is delusional and thinks he is dad of the year! I had to take him to court for child support, he blows our daughters plans off, the works. He also belittles her feelings as much as he did mine at 19 years old. And it all started with this. As well as one more extremely important noticeable thing in your write in..... The amount of times you had to emphasize how grateful you are for him. I was in my young 20's doing this EXACT same thing, and hearing the way you wrote this is extremely triggering. I felt like I needed to emphasize how grateful I was, and I am willing to bet money it's because he is drilling this in your head to, all while completely dismissing your basic human needs. And would you guess what my baby daddy says to me after raising our girl without his help for 6 solid years? that I am ungrateful and always was.. This isn't just a man not pulling his weight, I can tell the way you back track in your writing he is emotionally abusing you. Especially with the sex bit. PLEASE! LEAVE! I know it sounds extreme, it did for me as well. I always found these shades of gray... but the longer I stayed away, the more I realized the abuse that occurred. I thank my current boyfriend profusely for doing basic ass boyfriend things, and he constantly reminds me this is normal, not special, and definitely not worth the constant "thank yous" There is so much more happiness on the other side. It seems daunting and impossible at first, but once you can truly breathe fresh air, and not that TOXIC, you will be so grateful. Its a sad horrible process, but stay strong. Because staying will be worse I promise you.

[@krystaljensen2696]

I just want to add, I know it seems impossible, and you may have to take some side roads, so to speak. But you CAN absolutely achieve this and more. Your a power house and already are achieving more than this man could ever handle. You are worthy and capable. There will be days of doubt and guilt. But trust me, this is so much better for your kids and you. I never thought "leaving the person who provides for this family" would be so much less stressful in a lot of ways. You have the grit, you will find a way, and you judging by what a sweetheart you seem to be, are more than capable of finding a guy who can fulfill this role in a much more caring and considerate way. (he wont replace dad of course.) But leaving this situation was the BEST decision I made for my daughter and I. I have a beautiful happy healthy family now because of it. please don't waste all the years I did.... I hope you see this dear mama write in. You are more than just a mom who "stays at home all day."

[@heyitzsalmaa]

Yes I’ve seen this happen time and time to women! So glad you’re out of this and choose yourself! He’s projecting his nasty beliefs of himself into you! You’re doing great! But yeah she needs to RUN NOW!!! before he controls every aspect of her life and breaks her even more down! To me that is emotional abuse and child neglect on the deadbeats part. No concern for the childrens welfare at all! Narcissism at its finest

[@hannahfowler2575]

Great episode! A lot of good advice. But side note on the last story she is basically already a single parent just has to figure out the finance part. Best of luck to OP.

[@aby4897]

never this early! Love the pod and the insight/advice you all provide ❤️

[@allisonglad5173]

For the story where the husband decided he no longer wants kids.... that’s tough, but everyone here is right. Kids are not something you can compromise on. This is one of those situations where unfortunately they did have open and honest conversations about family, came to an agreement, and sadly one parties wants changed. The husband is not a bad person for changing his mind, unless he went in to it all along knowing he didn’t want kids, but that doesn’t sound like the case. I went through something similar with my ex where he wanted kids and I didn’t. We both stayed in the relationship hoping the other would change, and we didn’t. You can’t force someone to either have a kid or not have a kid when they want the opposite. Sadly, this is too big of an issue to compromise on and if you want a family, you will need a partner who is equally as committed as you. I am just glad the husband realizes it now, instead of when OP is already pregnant. I do think it was crappy for him to turn to his obviously biased community, and also crappy of the therapist to tell you to put it all on the back burner. He is not wrong to not want kids, and it’s not his fault that he changed his mind, but it still sucks that it happened while you both were already married

[@spaceinveda7408]

Everyone could benefit from this podcast regardless of their background.

[@crazyunicorn848]

Ooohhh the first story hits very close to home. My advice to the first girl , if this is still relevant- is exactly what was said in the podcast and one more thing- leave home as soon as possible, make it your first priority. The more distance you have from him the better🎉

[@kierstennovinsky1134]

29 year old mother of 2, and yes - I absolutely listen and absorb as much as possible to apply in my life when appropriate. I want to write in, but I don't feel my situation can be put into a reasonable word count, so I haven't.. but I listen religiously and greatly value the input, perspective and guidance from you.

[@sinamoon_]

The first story is me so many years ago. Unfortunately my parents stayed together despite my father being an emotionally abusive narcissist causing us so many problems, mental and physically. PLEASE hear them -- it's not on you and it's not your fault. There are better people and there are kinder people in the world than him. When Jerry started talking about trying to confront the father I broke down crying because any attempt to communicate with mine depending on the time of day, mood, frame of mind, etc is an absolute minefield. I'll say to anyone who will hear me: There is no talking to someone who will never hear you over their own voice. And that isn't your fault. A relationship takes two people willing to communicate and collaborate. Morgan's turned me into looking into greyrocking, which i've never heard of and I deeply appreciate. Thank you.

[@alexahowmanyhamsters1312]

Whoa I related to the half sister thing and her dad pretended not to know me and my name is Lacey lol. He came for xmas once years later and never talked to me or pretended to know who I was. I never said anything, my sister still is close with him but I don't have any relationship with him. My mom married a man for a single year, cheated and he is all of our dads now years later there's 4 of us and he is amazing for over 10 years💚

[@ananunez9930]

Give me someeeeee FATHER KNOWS SOMETHING too clean this damn kitchen. I really enjoy when all 3 are on an episode ♥️

[@zulu32656]

If you agreed upon kids prior to marriage and he either lied to you or has vehemently changed his mind then this is not something to put on the back burner if you want kids. Take a step back and look into your own future if you didn’t have children. Would you resent him? Would you feel empty? If the answer is yes then he either needs to become more open minded or the divorce needs to happen and it will be his fault not yours. You were truthful in wanting kids. He either lied or has changed his mind and now is allowing toxic chat rooms to influence his reactions to you. Plan and simple to stay with him with all that is a waste of your time. You only have a few years to bare children and what if you have fertility issues that mean you need more time. If he cannot compromise then you will resent him and the marriage will eventually end in misery but how many years will be wasted? The discussion and issue needs to be handled now.

[@therealidamomfernandez8911]

I am 35 mom and listen! Love you all! 🧡

[@MariahLS666]

Thank you for the new episode 🥰 Love watching you guys!

[@KingPandaRui]

His advice for the first story is assuming the father genuinely cares about the kids and the family. However, having a parent like this i know talking to them is like talking to a brick wall. They dont care about your feelings because they only care about themselves. It sounds like they've already tried talking multiple times. I dont know the best course of action because for me i just stopped having contact with that parent when i turned 18 and they havent tried to reach out except for selfish reasons. My parent ended up being diagnosed with npd (narcissistic personality disorder) and acted almost identically to the father in this story

[@Justcomment-ki5wm]

In the “ Lacey “ story … I’m with Morgan … girl you tell your… my sister is hurting she misses the rest of OUR fam too .

[@janethcastaneda3810]

The story of the girl with her dad sounds like we have the same dad. He didn’t treat us well is the least I can say there is su much trauma but at the end after him and my mom split up after like 28yrs I tried to keep contact with him but made up a bunch of excuses to not visit. The last I hear from him he wanted my daughters social security for taxes and get money back. I said sorry but we include her in our taxes he never called again so now I just wish he stays happy with his young girlfriends so he never comes back

[@samanthapadgett2594]

To the girl with the crappy dad… As someone who begged my mom for over a decade to go to therapy and have a open dialogue about my feelings I can honestly agree with Morgan. You either accept this is as good as it’s going to get or chose not to accept it. I personally gave up 6 months ago and went no contact as I was tired of trying to convince my own mother to treat me well.

[@claricekiser4891]

Jerry not knowing the southern context of "bless their heart" is so amusing to me as someone raised in the south

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

haha I know I don't think he knows its actually a diss 😅

[@michellebarstow6294]

This is/ was my life. 2 kids +1 'adult'. Full time job (55 hours a week) and sorting child care. All on me. I resented him so much. I asked and asked for help and tried to talk but met by a brick wall. So now we have separated and I cannot wait to be on my own with just the two kids!!!!😂

[@kathrynbump6781]

I know this episode was months ago, but I just found it. For the last story, the wife should get the Fair Play cards. They breakdown all the tasks it takes to run a house (chores, kids, etc) including the mental load. This could be the visual her husband needs to see how much she is contributing to the family. Or he could be a lost cause.

[@hansje1733]

I hope there will be an episode soon with how things are going now with the write ins

[@cassinaus]

25:23 I wanted to cry, hug Jerry and clap.

[@siobhanmoriarty89]

I watch with my mom! She love you guys and also Two Hot Takes. Also mom thinks Jerry is cute!

[@mrspokitstheriot477]

I'm a parent and I watch and listen, but I'm only in my 30's and my kids are young. But I want allllll the tips. I've got 4 kids all close in age, 2 of which are chronically ill, and due to that and being homeless(in a hotel. We're safe) I feel like I'm drowning in failure and will take all the tips available.

[@agnieszkar2379]

Love the podcast! 🔥

[@deejayy3252]

Wow the story with the daughter having to set boundaries with her dad was sooo triggering I am kinda in a similar situation with my parents Although they are currently still married my dad is in the navy and he has cheated on my mother a handful of times while On deployment.he also comes from a toxic family and also has anger issues that stems from his childhood.my parents argue almost constantly now and I know they’re getting towards the end of their marriage I believe if they would’ve divorce when I was younger I would be in the same situation as op I am 20 and when I graduate college and moved out I doubt I will have a close relationship with him due to him acting the same way op explained her father acts her story was like someone reading out my life to me so sorry to hear she’s going through that especially when you want a relationship but it’s hard to bond with someone who doesn’t take accountability for their own actions

[@ivylovesrunning]

I was a stay at home mom. I work part time now on school terms so I can be home with my children during their holidays. My husband is a parent and even he helps out with the children. Being a full time house parent is HARDER than working a 40 hour a week job. There are no sick days unless you're super sick. You are on call 24/7. He should be helping once he has had a few minutes to adjust to leaving work. Step up and be a good husband and parent for goodness sake. Your wife is NOT your SLAVE! Op is doing way more than she should by herself and even taking college classes. I recommend you have a weekend to yourself or he can have two days, consecutively, during to take care of the house and children. Then you can have those 2 days to do what you want outside the house. Either stay over at a family members or friends house. I am sure he will be begging for help before even half the day is done. Raising children is the most difficult job on this Earth. Get over yourself and help your wife raise your children together. Otherwise, you are better off being a single mom.

[@kellyjean1554]

I may not be a part of your generation, Jerry. As a mom of a 3 month old daughter, though, I can assure you that you have listeners that are parents, and you’re playing a part in helping us raise the next generation.

[@lokell541]

Jerry speaking about being a man is so heartwarming and serious life long advice🥹🫶🏻

[@solmar8135]

For the story about the SHM with the two baby’s. I totally understand her, I’m almost in the same situation. But actually completely alone on another country so my only help with the kids and the house it’s my husband. I don’t have my mom or any close friends. My husband do some shores at the house and sometimes he stays with the kids while I’m cleaning too so they don’t bother me. (I have a 2 year and a 9month) But mostly it’s me and the kids because he works a lot and sometimes well he is too tired ☹️

[@monalisasssmile]

i don’t often comment, im just a quiet supporter, but my mom and dad almost split up because my mom wanted to adopt a child and my dad wasn’t sure what he wanted. (mind you my mom insists they were dating for 6 months before my dad realized they were even together). my mom was prepared to adopt on her own, which is incredibly hard due to regulations concerning single moms being able to support themselves with a child. my dad ended up supporting her and went with her to adopt me. he always says he didn’t want kids until he saw me and i laughed at him then he fell in love. my mom didn’t threaten to leave him, she just made it clear she was adopting a child and he was not obligated to do anything

[@helianabanes4875]

So, a couples therapist might suggest to put something so divisive on the back burner, because hell, if you divorce, they lose a client. I have actually observed this behavior several times.

[@KayJoyy]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU GUYS!! ❤ I jumped over here from THT! I'm almost thru all the full eps, it's just so good!! I always joke with my BF you guys are my best friends that don't know it 🤣 your KZbin is always casted to my TV when I'm cleaning, cooking, working, decorating ect. Always laughing with you guys and giving our two takes on it 😊. Found out he's been listening to you guys on his 1hr drive to work in the mornings! I absolutely love it. I heard you guys talk about this one and I had to jump over and check it out! You guys both have the best podcast voices. His advertisements are awesome! You're dad is so incredibly cool 😎 I honestly have never seen such an amazing father figure in my whole life. Didn't know it existed, I come from long history of shit men in my families and listening to him give his advice and then get Justin's and your take as well. Very level headed individuals and I pride you guys for your respect on trust and communication, it's the most important thing in any relationship in life. Keep up the amazing work! I definitely have a couple write-ins I'd love to ask your father for advice with. Thank you for this platform, I know I'm not alone in loving you guys!! ❤

[@BladefireA]

The story where the husband decided he doesn't want kids: I totally agree not to subject a child to being born to someone who doesn't want kids. My childhood didn't have a lot of love in it because, as I found out years later, my mom never wanted to be a mother. I don't think she had a total lack of love for me and my sister, but she didn't give us a mother's love either. And my dad was always working to keep up with the bills. My lack of relationship with my mother hurts me to this day so don't have a child with someone you know doesn't want them.

[@alexvilla1443]

I was really sad about the sister whose stepdad doesn’t want to consider her family anymore :/ my grandfather isn’t my moms bio dad but raised her as his own the moment she was born. My mom didn’t know he wasn’t even her bio day until she was 13 and it was a huge shock for her. My grandma and my grandpa had my two aunts later and got divorced when I was 4 when my aunts were 14 and 8 and my mom got married at 16 and had me at 17 so she was 21 at the time. And honestly my grandpa never once told my mom he wasn’t her daughter regardless him and my grandmothers bitter divorce. If anything he says my mom is his favorite daughter especially because my grandpa wasn’t really allowed to be in my aunts lives after the divorce nor was he able to make an effort especially after my grandma got remarried when I was 9 and her husband forbid us to having a relationship with him. When I turned 19 my aunts and all of us were able to get him more in our life and also my extended family because we all castes my grandmas husband aside for a personal grudge I have with him that’s unforgivable. Growing up my aunts have had abandonment issues and daddy issues and basically had a rocky relationship with him on not fighting to be in their lives but me and my mom didn’t have that problem which sucks because we did have a relationship with him. So I get it and how painful it is for a father or father figure to cut one of their kids out of their life. We’ve been lucky to try to mend it and my aunts have and currently trying to get over their past trauma and we constantly have family talks with all of us together when we feel sad or frustrated on something that happened in the past or something my grandpa says or does that crosses my aunts boundaries. Honestly my mom has always been the one to speak on my grandpa about how my aunts feel about him so I think it since the bio daughter has a closer relationship to her bio dad she should talk to him about her sister feeling abandoned.

[@Justcomment-ki5wm]

1:05 is that the story we’re the mom went to the bar to tell her son to get his buttt home so his wife could have a girl day ?!?

[@Justcomment-ki5wm]

1:05:00

[@tabitas.2719]

On the "I'm more tired, but need sex." engineer/father story...: A) Did you know that managers are more prone to burnout? Pretty well-known fact. Two other groups that have similar burnout numbers? Missionaries, and mothers - you're never off the clock and keep working for the greater good. ;) B) I have a neighbour who's a physical therapist, self-employed. She told me she was surprised how breezy having a baby was, since she was used to long hours, physical work, and all the mental bureaucracy.... But yeah, most people don't have that kind of job. And a little baby and two running toddlers are two different pairs of shoes. Just two thoughts I had. :)

[@Cocomang0xq]

❤❤

[@IAmOneSickPuppy]

Dad's that never come home and take over for the stay at home mom are just horrendous. You are a parent and need to parent the children. The husband gets to leave his job. The stay at home mom never does. The husband gets PTO or days off. The wife should as well.

[@deltadaryl262]

I miss the sock review!!!

[@Grumpyfern28]

The last story where the husband keeps completing as if he has it worse should meet Jo Frost from Supernanny. She covers parents like him and lays out their marriages won’t last when they aren’t pulling their weight as a partner. I’m sure she would tell him he needs to grow up and be a father to their children. Partners are a team supposed to be working toward the same goal at the end of the day. They need to step into OP’s shoes for a week to gain some perspective and respect for their partner.

[@ah7908]

My question for the married 26 year old woman is: Is the reason why the therapist said to put the kid situation on the back burner is due to having larger issues in the relationship that you need to work through? Could you be focused on the kid issue because you would have a "reasonable" excuse to leave because he went back on his word about that? Instead of it being about a different(or multiple different) thing's that aren't working in the relationship? Please don't think I mean that in a mean, judgemental, or rude way. It's just a thought that popped into my head because it is strange the therapist would tell you to put that on the backburner

[@Maggie56934]

Just in time for my bday ❤️

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

Happy birthday!!! 🎉

[@jynniepig8343]

For the husband who doesn’t want kids, the only thing I think he could’ve done better is been more sensitive to the situation. Him devoting all this time to child free pages and even writing into them without realizing how that might affect his wife is insensitive to the situation. I don’t want children and luckily am with someone who supports that, so I completely agree it’s no one’s fault in this situation and it is probably the best thing for them to split up now rather than resent one another. But I do completely understand how hurt his wife must be by this. There should’ve been a more delicate conversation. (Maybe there was but I’m just going off of how the story was told)

[@mydogisoscarthegrouch]

Selfish for not wanting kids? I'd rather not have kids than regret having them and hurting them. Having kids just to have them is selfish. JK heard what Morgan said! Thank you for seeing the people that don't want kids!

[@lindsayc.7572]

The story about the trans man who was questioning his father’s lack of involvement in his life and blaming it on himself made me sad for him. Honey, it is *not* your fault that your father checked out of parenting. Like Jerry said, find other male role models to look up to throughout your life, but also just focus on being a good person in general. I can’t speak to having to learn how to exist as a man, but as a woman I know I have learned more of what *not* to do as a parent from my mother than what to do, and frankly that can be more of a life lesson that being shown the right things to do. I know I don’t ever want to make my daughter feel how my mother has made me feel. Maybe you can kind of start from that point, and as you are learning how to fine-tune your masculinity and who you want to be as a man that’s where you can look for role models and slowly build the traits you want to have. Good luck and happy wedding day ❤. Jerry, you are a gem 💎 and as someone whose father was barely around growing up and hasn’t been in my life at all for probably 15 years now (I know, I hit the parent lottery lol 🙄), your fatherly advice means so much. I love your bonds with Morgan and Justin, together and independently, absolutely heart-warming and so refreshing to see. Don’t ever change!

[@celestesharp6120]

He can't or won't help.

[@heezypeasy8611]

For the stay at home mom with the asshole husband...I've been there. I was married for 7 yrs and was a SAHM with 3 kids. He thought I had it so easy and did nothing all day. He was always more tired than me. If I was sitting down when he came home from work he would look at me like I was a lazy piece of shit. It got to the point where when I heard the garage door open I would hop up and start sweeping bc I didn't want him to be rude and demean me. Idk if I have any good advice bc we ended up divorced due to him being a HUGE mommas boy and having a seriously disgusting emotionally incestuous relationship with her. She always wanted me gone so she could take my place 🤮

[@katherinetralle8483]

For age references on your listeners I am 43 and have a 20-year-old and 18-year-old.

[@jerrysiegel3354]

Thank you for sharing that with me, and your support

[@Nanna_chrii]

For the one with the woman with two kids and a husband that doesn’t do anything. The question to really ask yourself is, if you became single, would you even be doing more that you are now? Not just physically but the emotional and mental load (google or search hear on yt), because it really shouldn’t be harder to have a partner

[@Mary-b2y5k]

I wish there were markers so I could skip some stories :(

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

I’ll start adding them in ❤️

[@Mary-b2y5k]

@@FatherKnowsSomething thank you so much 🥺❤️❤️❤️

[@brendenm4338]

@@FatherKnowsSomething when you read a story. Can you screenshot the story & post the screenshot on KZbin, so we can read along with you. Some of us can't keep up with the stories. So having a screenshot or having something typed on the screen so we can read along would be very helpful.

[@miamoore2266]

I remember when y'all talked about the mom telling off her shitty son and Jerry said she should've punched him or threatened him with a weapon or something 😄 has he chilled out since then? Hehe

[@citlallyarreola1318]

The 16-year-old sounds like me I'm the same age.

[@tori_shmori1541]

23:00 Maybe look at the “relationship” you had with you father like this.. for me The best lesson my mother taught me was how NOT to be a mom.

[@hot_pink15]

yea. morning, 12:34 in the morning

[@estralla_star]

I'm a parent of a nearly 6 year old.

[@alycharme9247]

I feel like I already know the answer to this… but who is jerry related to?? I’ve been listening in for a while, I listen to these episodes to sleep, so I feel like I missed the relation along the way Tia!

[@petalchild]

He's Morgan's dad 🙂

[@inputhere6225]

I get that people can change their minds about having kids but this was a condition before marriage and he broke his word , he should not expect the marriage to stand when he broke his word

[@brendenm4338]

I think it was more of an idea or conversation. But not a condition.

[@inputhere6225]

@@brendenm4338 It’s a condition more than a conversation because this marriage happened because they shared the same ideas including wanting a baby or two in the future, she went through it thinking her partner shares the same thinking and values as she does otherwise I highly doubt she would have continued going through this marriage knowing her husband will change his mind at some point. He shouldn’t expect her to keep being married when he is not willing to keep their condition and she shouldn’t have kids with someone who doesn’t want to be a parent, that would be cruel towards her kid, her and even her partner.

[@amiirue]

jerry doesn't know any hobbies other than horseback riding it seems..

[@celestesharp6120]

Have you talked with "Lacey" about how she feels and if she wants your help, and go to your dad and his family together...So, your sister's taking some ownership and her can see that she is hurt.

[@celestesharp6120]

Did he really change his mind about children or did he agree to children because he wanted to get her and now he shows his true colors figuring he's got her....as they are married? He wasn't planning on divorce? I wonder if the change is indicative if deeper things.

[@brendenm4338]

There's really no "trap" in marriage in the USA when your kid-free. Now, having kids & married...that's more of a trap. Both parties can legally file for divorce at anytime. I disagree with your comment.

[@celestesharp6120]

@@brendenm4338 I don't get what you're disagreeing with. I was just posing a few questions that the story brought to my head. The only person that really knows the answer is him and it's between him and God. I'm not saying that this is hard and fast, this just came into my head. I also think he maybe letting the sites with all the negative stories about having children because it scares him and he has doubts. They both need to do the most loving thing they can do so they can both find happiness with someone who wants the same thing. They need to stop dragging this out if this is a deal breaker for each of them as they are going make themselves and each other miserable and they both deserve happiness and obviously are never going to see eye to eye, if they keep this up...they will end up bitter and resent each other, in order to prevent this from happening again, they need to each go to individual counselling and learn from this going forward. Let their potential partners know how they feel from the fairly close to the beginning, so you spare both of you that waste of time and pain and you can move on if it doesn't work. At least you can move on earlier and spare both of you most of the pain and maybe salvage a friendship.

[@briana9756]

The first story hit me hard.

[@hannahnielsen7694]

For the DINK sorry, it's totally okay to change your mind, but you need to be prepared for the consequences of that

[@amandareed4689]

The dad in the first story is absolutely a narcissist 😬

[@thosetworockerchicks8647]

I feel like Morgan was not understanding her dad this video at all, she kept misinterpreting everything he said

[@antifamanager342]

Wow first story...DO NOT LISTEN TO JERRY THIS IS TERRIBLE ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST!! Please do not follow that advice it could be dangerous. Never engage/be vulnerable with a narcissist. Ever. Morgan is right about the grey rocking, but I disagree about even doing activities with him. The dad sounds extremely abusive and non contact would be the healthiest choice.

[@kirstenmcmaster1125]

I wouldn’t have children with someone I ever had to convince, so if you want them - leave. My fathers first wife hated children. Never wanted them, and my dad left her due to that and her cheating. When I tell you my father was the best father - it’s no understatement. He just passed but watching my daughter get the chance to experience being loved in such a similar way it makes me SOB lol have the children, but only with someone who wants them even more than you 🤍

[@adrianaa2767]

“Give yourself more credit” should be on a tshirt 🥹 once I’ve heard this phrase from Jerry on THT, it’s been on my mind whenever I’m faced with difficult situations and i don’t think I’m doing a good job, I tell it to myself: “girl, give yourself more credit”.