Fear of Suicidal Thoughts with Kimberley Quinlan (Podcast Ep 215)

[@vivi8817]

Thank you so much for talking about this topic. A person in my family comitted suicide and I developed the fear to be like them and unavoidably go down the same path which would end up in psychosis and suicide. Your video took some of my anxiety away and its calming me down to hear that other people know that fear too and can handle it. I feel less alone now and less burdened with my thoughts, which are just thoughts (as i learned, which took a lot of their power away). Thank you so much for adressing this topic as a normal human experience rather than an illness and sharing your own experiences, this helped a lot!

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and especially under those circumstances. I'm glad we were able to help in some way. xx

[@GodlessPhilosopher]

Love the collabs and great topic. I’ve definitely had this theme.

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Its REALLY common and I kinda feel like we don't talk about it enough so I'm happy we got the opportunity to open the topic.

[@Michelle-ct6fg]

Thanks!

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

You're very welcome Michelle. And thank you! :-)

[@bibizaman2347]

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. Dpdr mixed with this fear. It feels like the longer I go through this, the more serious the urges get. I’m terrified of myself

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

DPDR is scary and uncomfortable for sure. But you are thinking that it somehow leads to loss of control or winding up in a zombie state of some kind where your thoughts will take over and you won't be able to stop yourself. This is a common interpretation, but it doesn't happen that way. Note Kim's explanation of passive vs active suicidal ideation and the fact that you do not want to do that. It really matters.

[@Thebaron666]

Hey man. Had the exact same issues as you. For me, the DPDR was triggered by these dark thoughts. It’s like they had a charge to them like they’d never had before and felt so real. I’m telling you, you can overcome this. I know that this a random KZbin comment, but I suffered from exactly what you’re talking about and I’ve fully overcome it. 100% it’s possible.

[@bruno_yt1]

​@@Thebaron666thanks for sharing this! Could you please expand on how you managed to get less afraid of such thoughts and how you got better? My first anxiety/panic attack was exactly this topic, triggered by mental exhaustion at work (Burnout): the panic was so painful that I saw myself in the future being hopeless and eventually not wanting to live. I've been 6 months managing my anxiety and having a few anxiety/panic attacks over this thought and interestingly enough the more panic/anxiety attacks I have the more it fulfil my catastrophic thinking. I had a recent setback after watching a movie and my confidence is quite low. On the other hand I am happy when not engaging with these thoughts but when I start feeling anxious/tired these thoughts appear and every now and then I can't handle it. Please be kind with words as I'm sensitive at the moment

[@Thebaron666]

@@bruno_yt1 The concepts are simple, but overcoming anxiety will push you to your limits and most of what recovery boils down to is letting go of the resistance, the fight, the urge to “fix” the problem and just begin allow the symptoms to exist while you continue to make life more important than how you feel. First, you need to understand what is happening to you in the first place. It doesn’t matter how it happened, but all the stresses of life, small and large, have reached a point where your nervous system has reached a stress threshold (for me this resulted in a panic attack, sounds like you too) and now your nervous system is sensitized which results in you being hyper alert and your anxiety generalizing. You have to understand what’s happening first because you need to deeply internalize the fact nothing is wrong with you. You’re scared shitless and your nervous system is functioning how it should when it feels threatened. You don’t have a mental illness. You’re not going insane. You’re not going to die. Let go of the fight. Your compulsion to fight, fear, fix, and run away from your symptoms will keep your nervous system sensitized and keep you in the anxiety cycle. It’s important to realize that ALL the symptoms you’re experiencing, whether it’s DPDR, intrusive thoughts, heart palpitations, social anxiety, existential dread, anything, everything, are the result of one root problem… a sensitized nervous system. Don’t treat each symptom as its own problem. From now on, you only have one issue and that’s anxiety, I’m serious.. every symptom. Don’t tell yourself, “no, this symptom can’t be anxiety”. Yes, it is. Your goal now is you begin RESPONDING differently to your symptoms. You’re going to start practice this: Acknowledge your symptom is present. Label the symptom what it is: anxiety. Accept that the symptom is there. Re-focus your attention to whatever you’re doing, whether that’s driving, working, socializing. Then move one. Acknowledge the symptoms and thoughts but done engage with them. Begin living your life how you normally would and learn to live with the symptoms. You’re not trying to make them going away. Over time your nervous system with begin to desensitize and EVERY symptom, including the intrusive thoughts will go away. Read Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes. I hope this helps.

[@notamogulnoramaverick4888]

Iam so scared of this fear. I have anxiety. My mother committed suicide due to mental health issue. And iam scared to death what if anxiety force me to do the same.

[@chlover908]

I have had this theme for 3 years on and off... had a talk therapist then a nocd therapist and nobody has been able to help me get through it, i have spent too much money and more importantly time, and i still have these fear spirals of fearing for my safety and life... this podcast is really great and helpful, i fear this will never go away since it has lingered for 3 whole years and i still dont know how to respond or how to let it go... I can't stop fearing it, the spirals always are triggered by prolonged physical anxiety and the feeling of needing to escape the feeling and then bam! Thought! Surge of adrenaline! Sometimes i am empowered and not afraid but it always seems to vome back and the longer it comes back, the more afraid i am that i will give up or want it someday or i will become depressed/not be able to handle it anymore... any ideas for hands on therapists/programs that can help me push through this theme and get over it please? Sorry for the long post i just feel exasperated that it still bothers me to this day....

[@chlover908]

This is an incredible podcast thank you both!

[@chlover908]

How can i work with either one of you? You both get this theme more than any therapist ive had and i feel like i could make some incredible progress working with you, you're both incredibly knowledgeable

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

Kim practices in the state of California. You can find her on the web if you're in CA and interested in working with her or one of the therapists in her practice.

[@pritop155]

Whenever I see that someone has committed suicide or read the news about it, after that I am feeling nervous about having that to me😿! I am like, "what if I commit suicide? I've my dreams and they will just burn away, I'm just at my teenage etc etc" What should I do? 😢 My daily life has been terrible since the last one month due to this! I don't wanna do suicide, I just have the fear and when the thought comes to my brain I get panicked!! What should I do?

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

It's important to recognize the difference between wanting to hurt yourself and being afraid that you might hurt yourself even if you don't want to. Those are two very different things. The general guidance is pretty much what Kim and I talked about in this episode but reaching out for professional help if you can do that is always a good idea so you can better understand what's going on.

[@The.woman.in.the.high.castle]

Great talk. I think it’s important to note, though, that the ironic part of this is this theme can actually make you want to kill yourself because it’s so painful- and then it becomes incredibly tricky to know if you’re in danger

[@TheAnxiousTruth]

The most important phrase in your comment is "want to kill yourself". When you find yourself wanting that, its time to seek immediate help. This is very different than being terrified that you absolutely do NOT want to harm yourself but are afraid that your thoughts will someone force you or convince you to do it against your will. xx

[@The.woman.in.the.high.castle]

@@TheAnxiousTruth that’s true. It’s really important to be able to be mindful and know the difference. Thanks for your work!