Female-to-Me: Agender and Transitioning

[@llewballantine6678]

I am also agender(as well as neutrois) and I support you through this. This is probably the solution I would come to, given the means.

[@calexw393]

So happy for you that you're able to be so open and comfortable with this :') I do identify as agender and it's ridiculously hard, especially since my best friend likes to continuously say to me "Millie, you have a vagina - you are a woman", in a jokey sort of way but it really hurts… (I don't think she's realises that I'm serious about this, and I am scared to have that conversation with her). I've always had this thing where I look in the mirror and literally don't connect in the slightest with the person looking back? It's the oddest feeling, like being inside someone else's body… and now I finally understand why. I think I would love to get top surgery one day, but leave it there. I'll see how things work out in the long run ^-^

[@BodeRiis]

I really appreciate that you articulate how non-binary people often need to choose what binary gender they would prefer to perceived as. I explained this to a friend like this; "I'm agender, but I feel more strongly that I am not-a-man than I feel that I am not-a-woman." I think you explained it better though. That you feel more comfortable being perceived as male, and how you describe yourself as a male-presenting agender person. I think that's a really good description of where non-binary people find ourselves at the moment in society.

[@jaypearson2239]

Hi Riley. I've recently started identifying as agender and I was looking for some advice (I'm a little confused and honestly really scared) and I want you to know you seem like such a wonderful person and I was really happy I found this video. You're so strong. I can't even come out to my friends about this and here you are making a video. Wow. Thank you so much and I hope everything works out for you :)

[@Theo-km4ut]

Good luck~! ^_^ I admitted to myself recently that I am agendered in the mirror after years of being unable to identify with my own reflection and with what honorifics are used towards me. I got my hair cut and I changed the way I dressed to what I wanted rather than what society wanted and now I can actually identify with my reflection. I'm happy that others are finding their own way to transition - whilst I only felt the need to get a hair-cut and change my outward appearance.

[@chapachuu]

I'm also agender. I'm planning on getting breast reduction surgery, but that's it. I have a female body and am pretty comfortable in it (besides the breasts) and don't want to take any hormones. I do wish there were commonly used gender-neutral pronouns, though. Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience with the rest of us!

[@llewballantine6678]

I would prefer to present as neutral and because of this I can understand why you aren't as it is remarkably hard to achieve. Only a small few can successfully look androgynous and thus it just makes the rest of us look like effeminate men and boyish females. I would transition myself but I don't think it will ever be a possibility. How are you getting on in your transition? It's been a month and more now!

[@llewballantine6678]

I'm glad I could inspire a positive feeling :D I'm sure you'll find plenty of support

[@86thislove]

I agree! :)

[@llewballantine6678]

Also, as far as the support thing goes, I can't really speak for those I don't know but there is a great site called AVEN that helped me work things out about my sexuality and gender. It's primarily aimed at asexuals but anyone is welcome.

[@chicky28799]

I thought I was bi but gosh you're beautiful. (Please don't think I mean beautiful like feminine. Thats my my of being gender- neutral)

[@kazerniel]

why couldn't you be bi?

[@chicky28799]

They don't identify as male or female.

[@kazerniel]

Bi doesn't necessarily mean attraction to just men and women, lots of bi people use the definition of bisexuality as "being attracted to same and other genders" or "being attracted to two or more genders". (see more here: radicalbi.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/some-differences-and-similarities-between-bisexuality-and-pansexuality/)

[@killlamas57]

Being attracted to either more than two genders or any non cisgender person then you are polysexual.

[@kazerniel]

Umm nope. Bisexual and pansexual can include non-binary people too. It all depends on the people who identify with these labels.

[@killlamas57]

I'm a little confused. If you're agender and taking T or any other sex hormone does that not also make you transsexual? Can transsexual only be applied to describe male or female transitions? Does being agender mean that your gender identity and expression are separate?

[@kazerniel]

Many agender people take hormones and undergo medical transition (me included). 'Transsexual' can be applied to non-binary people as well, but usually it's only used by binary gender trans people. Anyway transsexual is an identity, even if you take hormones and undergo surgeries, if you don't identify as transsexual, you aren't one. Many binary transgender people don't ID as transsexual. And yes, gender identity and gender expression can be really varied, just as not every woman dresses in femme style (or men in macho style), not every agender person dresses androgynously. Those of us, who undergo medical transition sometimes are more comfortable with being perceived as the other binary gender than we were assigned at birth and take steps to achieve this.

[@fseesauras]

Why are you more comfortable presenting as males? Is it because women are 'hypersexualized,' so to speak? That's how I feel. I'd be more okay as presenting as an agender women if I weren't getting gendered attention constantly in the form of sexual interest. I'd love to hear other/different reasons as I'm exploring this myself!

[@86thislove]

I wish science would make something in-between. I don't want to be female but I also don't want to be male :(

[@DrRetardedSheep]

Why does feeling no compulsion towards either gender or feelings towards it result in these people trying to dress mostly punk?

[@avobean]

oh. tumblr.