Bad Movie Beatdown: Van Helsing (REVIEW)

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=Originally posted October 4th, 2011; Re-edited version=
Hugh Jackman fights off all the monsters bar one… the script. Season 3, Episode 28.
#VanHelsing #HughJackman #Dracula #Frankenstein #Wolfman #KateBeckinsale #JekyllAndHyde #Werewolf #StephenSommers

[@FilmBrain]

This review was originally posted in October 2011, and has been re-cut for this re-posting, 2m 8s from it's run time. Cuts have been made to tighten up film footage, and cut a few jokes I wasn't a fan of. For some reason, I didn't have the master for this episode (edited by my friend), just a converted FLV (that I used to upload to Blip to) that I had to convert to an MP4 to re-edit, hence why this looks a little lower quality than my other re-uploads. This appears to have quietly become one of my most controversial reviews (the "unofficial" version has a high dislike bar), and I do think I'm probably a little too dismissive of the film, but I do stand by a lot of what I raised here. Have fun! Also... WTF is going on with my hair in this one. Clearly my greatest fear was a hair cut.

[@FilmBrain]

Watching it back, I was surprised I was quite so hard on the film (I call it "stupid" a lot, in particular), which might have been an influence from my co-writer, who was more negative on it, although neither of us were fans. I like Sommers' Mummy films (the sequel grew on me, but its got a load of problems), but Van Helsing has a lot of very sloppy, contrived writing, but the CGI overload is what sinks the movie - I remember when it came out, and the effects looked very poor for 2004 (especially in a year of Spider-Man 2 and quite soon after Gollem in LOTR). The reason the Scorpion King effects were so bad was because ILM didn't have enough time to finish them, and Sommers didn't learn from that mistake because many of them here look just barely complete - he was being very overambitious for the time, and even today this very CGI-heavy movie might have had trouble.

[@justdannyquinn]

The CGI use in this movie is very gratuitous, but it looks marginally better than the effects on the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns. By the way, which film do you think is worse: Van Helsing or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?

[@FilmBrain]

League is worse, it's an utter trainwreck. I reviewed that the year after I did this.

[@justdannyquinn]

I remembered really liking The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen back in the day. Don't judge me, I was a dumb kid. I'll probably need to watch it again sometime soon.

[@FilmBrain]

I saw both in cinemas back in the day, but I don't think I realized just how bad League was until I went back for the review. You can tell it was a hugely troubled production just from the finished result - at one point, they even had to paste a guy into a shot to cover a character who was entirely deleted from the final film.

[@joseyl7079]

Just watch "Penny Dreadful" for all the positive that this movie missed. Great creatures that includes Dorian Gray, Frankenstein, his monster, Vampires, Witches, Wolf Man, and more, in a great plot over three seasons. and most wonderfully, it is beautifully shot and costumed. Must see if you like all the Victorian stories!

[@Meggimagine]

Loved it... Until the end of season 3. Rushed and so clearly NOT where they expected to end their story. Such a disappointment!

[@rigelvitreous6751]

I think i'm in the minority here. I enjoyed Van Helsing, it was a dumb popcorn movie, just turn your brain off and have fun.

[@Nagoragama]

I really had fun with it too.

[@thereevesfamily6970]

Arneseus Martinez same here man. I thought some of the action was good.

[@Shiirow]

you arent in the minority, its clearly a dumb ass movie but you can find enjoyment in it. though doesnt change the fact that it has huge problems as a movie.

[@JamiJR]

I love this movie too. Loved it enough to buy both it and the cartoon prequel, read the book adaptation, and - well, wrote a crappy fanfiction in which Van Helsing teams up with The Phantom Of The Opera and the half-demon daughter of Faust.

[@KageMaxwell]

Arneseus Martinez Same here. My brother and I called Castlevania: The movie. Though, I do believe the Belmonts are much better at monster hunting.

[@drakkenmensch]

The light grenade tearing everyone into skeletons was also done in Blade 2, and done against vampires as well in that one. Really Hollywood, you need to stop thinking that we can't remember these things from movie to movie.

[@Shiirow]

if you think they are ripping off Blade, then that means Blade has ripped off a dozen different vampire movies by that logic. which I answer, of course, how do you think mythos are created. you do know most of things that define vampires today has evolved over movies and books. most people dont include things and hope you forget the source, they just add things that seem cool and dramatic.

[@Final_Flash1]

It's a bad movie, but I gotta admit I always have fun watching it, especially the Dracula/Wolfman fight at the end. Over the top non-quality CGI, but it's a guilty pleasure for sure.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

I love this movie, frankly I don't see that many problems with it. It is an action-adventure movie with minor horror elements and a lot of comedy, doing the same to Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein as Sommers did to the Mummy. The CGI of course looks dated now, but back then I found it amazing, especially the fur effects on the werewolves. I am still mad we never got any toys of them...

[@Bezaliel13]

Is a movie truly bad if it entertains?

[@anti-matter5874]

???? How is it bad?

[@jakublulek3261]

I see it as Castlevania: Rondo of Blood spin-off movie. It would be awesome to have Richter Belmond/Maria Renard to fight Dracula but we got, what we got.

[@asifmetal666]

i dont understand this so call movie review r. this is a action horror B movie type. for a movie like this its pretty good. i loved it. this type of review truly sucks.

[@SALshaNoma]

I always enjoyed this movie and didn't really notice all the problems till your review. I can see the glaring problems now but I still think its a fun movie to watch. It's at least not boring.

[@nannaleifa]

I don't know why (*coughvampirescough*) but when I was a child, I always thought this and Underworld were a same franchise. Didn't help that both main female characters were played by Kate Beckinsale.

[@FilmBrain]

Well, it didn't help that they were released only a year apart from each other. This is certainly a lot more fun than the first Underworld, which is a snooze.

[@Dimensioneer88]

That is surprising. They could have made Underworld the Van Helsing of the future.

[@annnee6818]

I like both. They're trashy af but by god they're entertaining 😁

[@Shiirow]

It was an Underworld, Marvel and Universal team up we didnt know we wanted. Selene and Logan team up to stop Dracula from taking over the world.

[@devinharbert6071]

Kate Beckinsale is one my favorite actors

[@Dimensioneer88]

Fun Fact: the actor playing the monster also played the monster in Young Frankenstein, the Musical.

[@otaking3582]

Vampire furniture? Why can't we have a movie about that?!

[@Niobesnuppa]

Our protagonist sits down in a chair. Suddenly they feel something bite them in the ass. There's blood, the furniture starts moving, and the chairs sprout giant bat wings!

[@xRaiofSunshine]

Niobesnuppa Kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

If we can have a movie about a killer tyre, then surely vampire furniture isn't too much to ask? Lol

[@TheBonkleFox]

It's called "death bed: the bed that eats." It's absolutely fucking amazing

[@scottylewis8124]

@@TheBonkleFox boy the 70s were strange.

[@SunBunz]

I liked Van Helsing, too. It's meant to be campy. I think the brides were the best thing about the movie, they should've had their own movie.

[@florinivan6907]

23:07 I'd like to believe that was Hugh Jackman's genuine reaction once he realised how bad this movie was.

[@Mixxie67]

I love this movie. It's really bad but in such a good way. The stagecoach exploding is always hilarious.

[@hiattgrey9161]

It's a guilty pleasure of mine. Same with The Mummy Returns. I love them because their dumb fun.

[@leothebackgroundsheep3010]

As a Bulgarian the "Van Helsing turns into wolverine" joke was even funnier to me because in Bulgarian Wolverine's name is translated to "The Wearwolf"(Because I guess the translators thought wolverines weren't intimidating or something)

[@UnknownUnknown-mo7zg]

I found the creativity of taking something pre-existing and so many different monsters and melding it into one story is actually something to be admired in this film. They did it without it too much trouble - and it created a rich environment that hinted at more monsters. It makes you think it these monsters exist in the same universe, then what other monsters exist? Some characters may not have been necessary, like the Velarius family, but they were a reason for Van Helsing to go after Dracula. As for the action sequences, its a monster movie. You need the CGI for the stunts otherwise you wouldn't be able to show off their abilities to the fullest. Maybe it was overloaded with monsters, but it was a fun movie that people can watch and truly lose themselves in if they're not purists.

[@BlueEyesWhiteGuy89]

Surprised you didn't make the comparison to the way he holds Anna's dead body in his arms to the way he holds Jean Greys dead body in his arms in X-men 3.

[@Batman43221]

But this came before.

[@LaineMann]

Or the fact that after Vanhelsing knocks Anna unconscious and she wakes up COMPLETELY NAKED it's NEVER BROUGHT UP!

[@reddragon0624]

How in the world does a movie with Frankenstein’s Monster, vampires, werewolves, and Hugh Jackman end up being mediocre?

[@timefallfarmer3912]

Terrible writing, awful cgi.

[@scottylewis8124]

@@timefallfarmer3912 even for 2004.

[@scottylewis8124]

@@timefallfarmer3912 I mean, this was the same year as Spider-Man 2 for God's sake!

[@devinharbert2245]

@@scottylewis8124 Including Resident Evil Apocalypse, Hellboy,

[@humbertoventura1344]

if you actually read any of these novels where these characters are, you would know from the start that this movie's premise is basically a piece of shit on an idea. Filmmaker's just don't read the source material before making the script, that's why it cant work. Ever.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

It's called Lycanthropy, btw... ;) Though I am guessing you call it "werewolfism" as a joke?

[@FilmBrain]

Yeah, it's meant to be a joke, mostly because it sounds funnier.

[@srbarkerchan]

That bit with the cat killed me. XD

[@oliviawilliams6204]

Who was the brilliant idea to turn the exposition fairy erudite character Van Helsing and turn him into a bad ass vampire hunter? Van Helsing was elderly and a scholar in the book, not a James Bond Ripoff

[@GOFFBITZH666]

If Abraham Lincoln can turn into a vampire slayer, why can't this (not being serious BTW)?

[@IAmTheUnison]

My guess is somebody who wanted to make "Castlevania: the Movie", but couldn't get the rights. Seriously, I can't be the only one who feels like they just took Simon Belmont from the games slapped on a little James Bond and Batman and then called him "Helsing" just for name recognition. :/

[@sebastianrosa7935]

@@IAmTheUnison 8:50 look at that map and tell me you don't see "Castlevainia" for a split second.

[@AlucardsQuest]

@@IAmTheUnison They also must be been a fan of Vampire Hunter D, and the Anime Helsing.

[@HurricaneDDragon]

This movie is a huge guilty pleasure for me.

[@jakublulek3261]

The best advice in this movie is also line from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly by the way.

[@culwin]

They should remake this movie except Van Helsing uses fidget spinners to fight monsters

[@azraelswrd]

Don't worry -- they're rebooting this concept into the new Dark Universe Universal Monster movie universe that Universal is trying to push, starting with the rebooted Mummy. ......can't wait (?). Trilogies are so yesterday. Everybody wants that universe movie franchise.

[@culwin]

A Mummy movie with fidget spinners? I CANT WAIT

[@Dimensioneer88]

Unfortunately, the new Mummy movie is kinda bland and generic. Not that Van Helsing is better writing wise, but Van Helsing at least has a visual advantage by taking place in the Victorian era. Plus, Hugh Jackman has more charisma in his pinky finger than Tom Cruise has in his whole body.

[@azraelswrd]

Yep, the Mummy tanked hard in the USA but internationally.... did okay. But Universal is committed at this point to do their DU franchise. I think Johnny Depp as the Invisible Man is next.

[@culwin]

Invisible Fidget Spinners... I LIKE IT

[@sebastianrosa7935]

Funny thing I just realized, the Church is afraid that the Valarious family will be stuck in Purgatory if Dracula isn't defeated. Yet, a majority of Transylvanians (and Romanians in general) are Orthodox Christian and don't believe in a Purgatory. Edit: There actually is a substantial Catholic influence in Romania.

[@dforman4770]

25:29 - To be fair, I don't want to meet the person who can take a tackle from a nine foot wolfman with the strength of twelve linebackers and get up like it's nothing

[@linda10989]

I know I am one of the very few people who didn't hate LXG...

[@oliviawilliams6204]

I can,t hate anything with Sean Connery in it

[@kirby2190]

I didn't hate it. I like it

[@scottylewis8124]

May he rest in peace

[@dvass7253]

Given that the movie has a Sleepy Hollow vibe to it in places, wouldn't it have made more sense for the studio to put Tim Burton in charge of directing? They can still credit Sommers as the writer, but these characters are far better suited to Burton's sensibilities.

[@wcapewell3089]

You have to admit though, the transition from the universal logo to the movie was pretty good.

[@devinharbert2245]

I don't understand why this video has a high Dislike Bar this was one of your Best Reviews Including your Transformers 2 review, Legend of Chung Li Review, The Ugly Truth Review, and your Gamer Review

[@gokulauri]

I honestly enjoy this movie a lot. It is just pure dumb fun. This movie has the best iteration of a werewolf I have seen in any movie. It actually looks badass

[@Shiirow]

"12 years and you dont know what it does?" "Of course I know what it does, I just dont know what its for." a true inventor, just invents shit and hopes its true purpose comes to light afterwards.

[@scottylewis8124]

Oof

[@evankrowley829]

ah yes, the early 2000s. The golden age of CGI overuse and poor story telling. What a time to be alive.

[@AdamYJ]

The classic Universal horror films. A line-up of movies so awesome that even some of their lesser installments like Man Made Monster and Captive Wild Woman were surprisingly good. The reason they were so good? Universal knew how to make you love the villains. Not in a "Ooh, they're so bad" way (aside from maybe Dracula), but in a tragic, tortured, sympathetic way. This movie doesn't really do any of that. It's too busy with action scenes and its questionable plot. This movie renders the intriguing and alluring Dracula into a camp over-actor and the dangerous but misunderstood Frankenstein's monster into something of a marshmallow. As for the Wolf Man, the Velkan Valerious character is no where near as good at selling the monster's pathos as Lon Chaney Jr. as Larry Tallbot could. So, did Universal learn anything from all this. Not if their new Mummy movie is supposed to show it.

[@la-nk8hq]

my thought after watching this movie was that it would make a great wolverine prequel. why is wolverine so animalistic? why does he have no memory? why does he side with the xmen? his anamantium skeleton history was just the latest in a very long line of adventures, starting from hundreds of years before this movie took place. and the big reason he is likened to a wolverine in xmen?,... because at one point, he was actually a wolf(man). how about that for an origin story?

[@otaking3582]

21:19 Personally I feel like it would've been more appropriate to use Darkstalkers music here

[@scottylewis8124]

Darkstalkers was my shit.

[@scottylewis8124]

Another Van Helsing movie can be made. It just needs a better script. And have Benedict Cumberbatch as the title character.

[@OTBASH]

Van Helsing was a fun movie. Still enjoy watching it.

[@IAmTheUnison]

I always considered this movie to be somebody's sad attempt at trying to create a "Castlevania" movie, but since they clearly couldn't get the rights to the name and characters they just morphed it into this bullshit excuse for a Universal monster movie reboot/homage. It would certainly explain why they felt the need to turn elderly old Van Helsing into motherfuckin' Simon Belmont! :/

[@brianfuller7691]

This is honestly not a good movie but it's a guilty pleasure. There are good actors in this mess but they get nothing to work with. I ❤ Kate Beckinsale

[@r0bw00d]

Eh, I loved it. I can handle the pace just fine. The only thing about the movie I don't like is the DVD for it when I go to play it in my original Xbox, as it automatically loads a demo for the movie's game _before_ asking me if I want to play it or not.

[@Caernath]

I consider myself a fan of this movie. I also tremendously like that dramatic zoom-in on that nonchalant cat while you're screaming your heart out. Keep doing what you're doing.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

14:10 - YES, there is a reason he does not kill the monster, you really did not pay attention. It's because Van Helsing has kind of a "detect evil" sense like a D&D Paladin and knows the monster is NOT evil. It would be wrong to kill an innocent being, no matter how monstrous. Kind of an important character development there too.

[@FilmBrain]

It wasn't that so much as the fact that Frankenstein's monster knew he could be used for evil by Dracula, and that his death would stop his plan (hence why he's pleading for them to kill him). Van Helsing's decision - although noble and heroic - also very nearly backfires. Again, not a terrible idea, that movie doesn't really do a lot with that conflict.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

I like that the monster was instrumental in stopping some of the villains at the end, and that he survives the movie. Such characters usually get a heroic death and that's all. All in all I like this movie, even the fact that it does not have a happy romantic ending but kills off the main love interest was a brave move. Yeah, it has issues, as you highlighted in the review, but I can rewatch it anytime that I want a fun adventure flick that isn't as brainless as say, Fast and Furious or the first 3 Transformers.

[@Ko700el]

i kinda like this movie :) its pretty funny :) its one of my many guilty pleasures...alongside beowulf (the christopher lambert one)...hey FILMBRAIN...ever thought of doing Beowulf ??

[@VenusHeadTrap2]

Definitely one of my favorites of yours Matthew! Brings back memories of watching this with family n friends on Halloween.

[@Canadamus_Prime]

This movie can be kinda enjoyable to watch as a spectacle.

[@shadowspider9]

This movie is actually a guilty pleasure for me. Aside from the novelty of having so many monster creatures in one movie the movie does try to make the creatures similar to the books. Best portrayed by the Frankenstein monster being brought back to his roots of gaining his knowledge via the bible. Van Helsing being turned into a bad ass is the biggest change from the source material. I understand not wanting to do the old man version from the book but they could have kept him being knowledgeable and simply made him young. It would helped with the whole castle mystery angle and made Van Helsing a more interesting hero if he used brains instead of muscle.

[@dreamlandnightmare]

The production design is good, but otherwise, it's the apotheosis of a big, dumb Hollywood explosion+CGI fest.

[@MaximumMadnessStixon]

Love this review and your work in general! :) Though I will shamelessly admit that I'm a big Stephen Sommers fan, and wish he would get more work these days. I really get the feeling watching his films (and his interviews) that he's a big kid at heart whose just having fun bringing his wildest ideas to the screen, and there's actually something sort-of admirable about that. Even his worst films are usually at the very least entertaining and fun to watch, and I view "Van Helsing" in much the same light. It's technically a bad movie... but it's "fun-bad." Sure, it's frequently a complete mess and it's too over-excessive at times, but the jokes usually land well, the set-pieces are imaginative even when they don't obey the laws of logic or physics, and I really like Hugh Jackman in the lead. It's an ultimate "guilty pleasure" film for me. I watch it (alongside the "Mummy" movies and "Deep Rising") almost every year in the lead-up to Halloween, alongside other goofy "horror/comedy/adventure" films like "Sleepy Hollow." (Though I set aside Halloween day to watch actual good horror flicks, lol.) It's a shame Sommers' last film "Odd Thomas" film didn't get the theatrical release it was supposed to, because it was pretty darned good.

[@FilmBrain]

I liked Odd Thomas a lot when I saw it, not long after Anton Yelchin's death, sadly.

[@MaximumMadnessStixon]

Yeah, it was a really fun film, and Yelchin was fantastic in it. I had always kinda hoped that since Netflix hosted the movie pretty much non-stop once it came out, maybe they'd bring it back as a series, as I feel the character might work well in an episodic format, at least based on the film's portrayal. (And assuming the legal issues that stopped the theatrical release had been settled.) But it doesn't feel right doing it without Anton Yelchin.

[@HBarnill]

Am I the only person who prefers the Hammer Horror films over Universal Horror?

[@thecinematicmind]

Henry Barnill As am I also.

[@HBarnill]

The Cinematic Mind I just think they have better atmosphere and acting. I love Bela and Boris but they can't compare to Lee and Cushing. They just can't.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

Yeah, same here. Christopher Lee was a great Dracula and to see him and Cushing together...

[@AdamYJ]

I grew up watching the Universal movies so they have my heart, but for Hammer I like the monsters that they did and Universal didn't. The ones they sort of added to the "Pandemonium of Monsters". I like The Gorgon and own it on DVD. I also really like The Reptile and Plague of the Zombies.

[@Shiirow]

We all know that Van Helsing is really Logan in disguise, he just grew his hair out bub and grew out his chops into a full beard.

[@TheNightmareRider]

I watch this film every Halloween, as it's a MASSIVE guilty pleasure of mine! It's so full of itself and how dramatic it thinks it is, which means I can't help but laugh at it every time. This is a perfect movie to riff on with your friends during a Halloween movie marathon!

[@leemcdonald1342]

There's just something about Matthew yelling "Absinthe" that gets to me.

[@princeeverlove]

BEST PART: SEXY FLYING VAMPIRES...WORST PART: A CGI AWFUL MR. HYDE

[@Arykermanchi]

*spoiler alert* My biggest question is, in the end when Dracula realized that Van Helsing is turning into a werewolf (i.e. the only thing capable of killing him), why didn't he just fly away?! Literally all he had to fly away and let his children do their thing...

[@MrDman21]

Universal is still trying to push this all-monster cinematic universe on us huh?

[@oliviawilliams6204]

Well they think they need a Cinematic universe to compete with Marvel and DC, and it'S pretty much all they have... So yeah. Will see how the Mummy turn out i guess, i'm not really interested by it, but who know it might surprise us

[@samuelbarber4154]

Adam Sandler was a better Dracula than this guy.

[@Yukinoomoni]

The cat was a nice touch :D

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

Will never understand why so many critics hate CGI so much. Did old movie critics hate claymation and costumes and makeup too until they became mainstream? I know this is an old review, but really, move with the times, CGI is here to stay. And I am thankful as this movie gave us some of the best looking werewolves in movies ever, as compared to how very little of them can be shown if they use makeup (the Howling), turning them into naked furless humans with wolf heads (Dog Soldiers), or the abysmal The Wolfman reboot that had them looking like chimpanzees. Also, Planet of the Apes reboots... Should human actors in terrible makeup (Tim Burton's version comes to mind) play the apes instead of the really lifelike CGI? I certainly would vote for CGI there. It's used to do stuff you cannot do with regular sets and makeup.

[@FilmBrain]

It's not the CGI that's a problem in of itself, it's how it's used. It's a tool, and like any tool it can be used effectively or incorrectly. A large problem with the effects in Van Helsing is that they're not very good - as I say in other comments, Sommers got overambitious, and you can tell the film was struggling under the number of complicated shots, and the result is that a lot of them look poor (the transformed Dracula is a major eyesore). I'm not arguing they go all practical, but a combination of effects might have worked out better - practical effects are something tangible and real, and while they have their limitations, they can help sell the effect. You mention that Apes 2001 remake, I think the make-up work on that film is pretty incredible, and while I think the work they've done in the new Apes films is terrific, there's definitely a few shots that aren't as impressive (largely in Rise).

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

Yes, but that was simply because CGI at the time could only do this much. You mention Scorpion King in the review - and yes, that CGI Rock looked terrible in that movie. But that was kind of the only way to do it - if they used a costume or claymation, he could have barely moved and would have been a terribly slow thing, like Goro in Mortal Kombat (I to this day find his defeat laugheable). But at the time, as a kid, I LOVED the Anubis Warrior effects in Mummy Returns, to me they looked amazing then and I don't find them bad now. Same goes for the Werewolf effects in this movie. I do admit the vampires, especially Dracula himself, have some really bad CGI (when his mouth enlarges while he is in human form, for example). The make-up in the 2001 movie was indeed good, the story was what was terrible. But honestly they felt more unreal to me than CGI creatures - I can tell there is a human under that mask. There are some artists who can make it work - STar Trek had some amazing masks especially in DS9. But I think CGI faces like Gollum or Smaug are the way to the future, because you cannot really reproduce not-humanoid faces (those with snouts) like Smaug's using a human actor and a mask.

[@LegoManiac_101]

I thought that the film wasn’t that bad.

[@JamiJR]

This is my guilty pleasure movie. I know it's awful, but I love it, absolutely love it. I even have the cartoon prequel. And it's way better than Underworld.

[@markheithaus]

Not a terrible movie. The beginning is creative. I like how the stories of Dracula, Frankenstein and warewolves are woven together. I also like the fact that Jeckel and Hide are in the same universe. It's a fun fantasy film, and the actor who portrayed Dracula nailed it. A lot of the acting wasn't great, much of the comedy too forced, and Frankenstein's monster not great. But considering that it was never billed as a blockbuster or set to start a franchise, it was a fun fantasy movie

[@PixelMurder]

Beckinsale isn't a bad actress but this movie doesn't prove it.

[@shiroamakusa8075]

I hated the movie back when it came out and I haven't mellowed on it one bit. What I hate it for is the huge missed opportunity of having this big monster mash but doing so little with it other than some bog-standard, forgettable Hollywood action blockbuster movie. None of the creatures and characters in it are done justice, the action is laughably inept, the plot is annoyingly dumb and the pacing is all over the place. Seriously, the Monster Squad movie from the 80s did what this movie tried to do much better, and that was an action-comedy kids flick.

[@CharlesRaines4946]

The whole mirror thing is one of many things about Hollywood that pisses me off. They didn't have to cgi the reflectionless vampires, all the needed to do was to build a much larger set and split in two with a wall with a hole where the mirror is supposed to be and then just arrange replica set pieces on the other side of the set. Then they just need Kate Beckinsale do the dancing all alone on the opposite side and then do the dancing with Richard on the other side and then just splice them together.

[@cthulhupthagn5771]

I always took it as the film was intended to be clearly derivative, as the original films had been redone dozens of times. It was like a roller coaster, you know the entire run but you still enjoy the ride

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

Things that would have been important to set up the story first: - The father gradually piecing together the way to get to Dracula before he was mysteriously taken. - What life was like for Anna and her brother when their father disappeared. How did they cope? What did they do? - How was Doctor Frankenstein found and convinced to work for Dracula? - How did Dracula learn the monster could give his children life in the first place? Imagine if our first introduction to Van Helsing was him entering the room, only to be told that he must once again atone for his sins and he would now be shipped off to Romania with "Carl to watch over him". Killing Marishka could have been our introduction to him in action and the plot with him, Anna and Carl carried on from there.

[@bloodrunsclear]

I took my mom to this for her birthday and she hasn't quite forgiven me since...

[@devinharbert6071]

This film was entertaining but it was Plagued by terrible Script

[@hectorfrausto9705]

As long as you understand this movie was just a fun popcorn flick than you'll enjoy it, it's not meant to be taken seriously

[@basquat76]

No one toke it serious but that still didn't make it a good film

[@Meggimagine]

A bit harsh... It's an enjoyable movie, not to be taken seriously! Sure the effects are not the best, but it's not that bothersome. The creatures are fun to watch. Wasn't expecting any Coppola or Kurosawa movie when I watched it the first time but I wasn't disappointed :)

[@jlwiseguy]

The movie needs Abbott and Costello

[@mikebowermaster4250]

Hey Ed Wood- you're no longer the worst director.

[@rebeccajohnston-carter315]

This was very enjoyable to watch as Van Helsing is pretty much the definition of a guilty pleasure for me-- I know it's horrible but find it endlessly amusing and it's my go to "I wanna rewatch something but don't know what" movie. A lot of this is due to the fact that I have this teory about how Anna's character was thrown in at the last minute after a studio executive (or something like that) sat in on a script reading and went "...this is just a bit too gay, could you perhaps put a chick in there?"

[@charliecatsantos8412]

Well the movie and the book was based about the Vlad the impaler known as The Dracula

[@simonboyce2235]

It is so weird that here in New Zealand everyone I have ever talked to loves this movie and thinks It is really good and when I was a Kid everyone in New Zealand thought this movie was great yet when I went online Americans and lots of movie reviews and rotten tomatoes talk about how this movie is bad and is not considered a good movie and I tell People in New Zealand that and they are really surprised and sometimes don't believe Me and they all thought the movie was really good and have never meet anyone who didn't like it I told One Person about how one person online thought Van Helsing was a boring Character and he said anyone who thinks that is a idiot and that Van Helsing was a Awesome Character

[@denomsolis4171]

I always thought the cheesy b-movie feel was what Sommers was going for on purpose. I know the movie is bad, but I still like it somehow. Worse than The Mummy, better than that Underworld shit. Edit: Refreshing the page to see my comment...aaand everything has already been ninja-posted by others. Brilliant. ;)

[@helios24601]

Why is Jekyll and Hyde the Incredible Hulk now? That's not how those two work... AT ALL. Hyde is supposed to be the POLAR OPPOSITE of Jekyll, but at the same time A HUMAN. While Jekyll was tall, kind, handsome, and well-built, Hyde was short, cruel, ugly, and skinny. Edward Hyde is NOT the Incredible Hulk!

[@marcusreading3783]

Wait, Kate Bekensel as a badass in a vampire movie? What a suprise! Also, a Vampire hunter called Gabrial? Was the writer playing Castlevania?

[@BurningAzure]

21:19 Me (A Persona fan); There are some good PS2 cutscenes

[@mikebowermaster4250]

Why did Dracula's babies turn into water balloons full of diarrhea? Why didn't they just fall?

[@user-qj9en1kp1m]

Why does this movie think that the favourite drink of Transylvanian people is Absinthe? I was born in Transylvania, we have strong alcoholic beverage, but it isn't Absinthe.

[@TheZipperDragon]

I kinda like this movie. The idea is pretty awesome, & I know I've been inspired by it with my writing, as shitty as my writing is. Overall it's (In my opinion) campy & fun, kinda like the Universal, & Hammer films.

[@TheSefirosu200x]

I want a GOOD movie with this Uberwald aesthetic, dammit!

[@devinharbert6071]

I Have a Crush on Kate. Beckinsale

[@philfaulisi4864]

I tried to watch this movie, but turned it off 1/3 of the way through. Just couldn’t stand how crappy I thought it was.

[@necroplastful]

I remember seeing this movie once as a kid. It felt actually pretty decent at the time but im pretty certain it hasnt aged well.

[@shurdi3]

Wait wait wait, they went south, towards the carpathians and Bulgaria, yet somehow ended up Northwest to Czechia? Keep in mind you have to go through Hungary (Home of Bathory[not the band]) to get there. At least they didn't add another character there

[@Howlrunner82]

Say about the movie whatever you want. But the Werewolves 🥰😍🥰😍🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@burnttoastburt1467]

I think you may have been expecting a bit too much from this movie I think it's supposed to be a dumb but fun popcorn monster film and for that I think it serves its purpose well.

[@kylebrackman9675]

What are your thoughts about Van Helsing: The London Assignment?

[@LynetteTheMadScientist]

Hahahahaha ok enough. I could write several pages on why you're wrong on many points but this point is the last straw: You say this is obviously a homage to the old Universal crossovers but it "doesn't work because the plot is clearly strained to mash these characters together" Have you seen even ONE of those old Universal crossovers? You could build a suspension bridge with the amount of strain in those plots. Seriously, the plots of the Universal crossovers are so contrived they are borderline unbearably cringy even when considering the decade they were made in. I realize Van Helsing isn't a "quality" film by any means. It's clearly made for funzies. But if you're going to attack it then at least attack it for the right reasons.

[@FowlManor]

Dear Film Brain, Just a small thing; It is not called "werewolfism" or however you pronounce it. It is called Lycanthropy.

[@timefallfarmer3912]

Umm, well actually.....

[@scottylewis8124]

@@timefallfarmer3912 what?

[@James_Bee]

I saw this in theaters on opening weekend. It wasn't just a bad movie, it was poorly made. During a close up with Kate and Hugh the boom drops into full view. It had several other technical issues, but it was a long time ago and if really rather forget. Why am I watching this....

[@FilmBrain]

That might have been because the projectionist hadn't aligned the print properly, exposing the headspace at the top of the frame. I remember when I saw Spider-Man 2, the thick heavy cables to pull the chairs when Doc Ock throws the vault door at Peter and May were clearly visible. They've been digitally erased from home video versions.

[@samflood5631]

You should now that the werewolf curse isn’t called werewolfism, it’s lycanthropy.

[@FilmBrain]

Yes, it was a joke.

[@scottloessel6493]

When he says the movie ripped of Fellowship of the ring, what part was he taking about? I’m not disputing it, I just want to know what part.

[@basquat76]

I'm wrecking my brain over that one too. For the life of me can't remember that either.

[@rsfilmdiscussionchannel4168]

For as much as people like to give this movie slack, it really is a perfect example of just how generic and brainless blockbusters can be.

[@karinacamacho7424]

Is a good movie

[@lordtrigon1733]

I hated this movie so much and as a Universal fan I was so excited for it. :(

[@scottylewis8124]

I'd rather play the game.

[@yarloo]

Individual elements yeah. The castle near the end, huge fucking physical model. It even had small window lights.

[@tambor34]

It is best watched with a group to make fun of how dumb it is.

[@TheBattlesword]

Something I don't understand: Since when did Viktor Frankenstein have a moral compass? Didn't both the book and most of the movies bar the Mel Brooks one make it clear that he's the monster of the story moreso than his creation? Pretty sure a real reason he'd oppose Dracula was because the latter wasn't giving him a big enough paycheck to do what he loves the most anyway Also, if I want to watch a vampire acting up the wall, I'll settle with Patrick Seitz in JoJo: Phantom Blood, thank you

[@stephenfox8685]

I hate this movie. The Faults. 1. Miscasting between Van Helsing and Dracula. Jackman would have made an edgier Dracula and, Roxburgh, looking more the intellectual, would have suited Van Helsing (although he's not a big enough star to have lead over Jackman). 2. Roxburgh is the worst Dracula to have aver appeared on screen (in my opinion). He looks like a black-clad, human scarecrow with a touch of gothic pervert. And the hair - with little whisps hanging down near the front? OMG. PS his horrendous accent makes me shudder. 3. The secret relationship twist of Van Helsing having a past with Dracula is a repeat of X-Men 2 where Logan has a secret past with the villain Stryker. 4. Frankenstein's Monster reminds me of Nightcrawler from X-Men 2. (both loving the Bible). He is also way too intelligent and doesn't seem like a monster at all. 5. Mr Hyde was completely unoriginal. He was like a giant human ape. What's more, we just a hulk-style Hyde one year before in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (he was better by the way). 6. The Werewolves were goofier knock-offs (they look like they're grinning) from those in 1980's "The Howling". What's more, the way that Vulcan transforms by tearing his skin off to reveal the wolf already underneath (director Steven Sommers though this was original) had already been done in 1984's "The Company of Wolves" . 7. Crap CGI creatures overall; almost cartoon level. Especially Dracula's brides. (to think Lord of the Rings had been released by this point and that standard was incredible) 8. Too much action/stunts. 9. Too many monsters in one film. Hyde, Dracula, Werewolves, the Frankenstein Monster, the Brides, and Igor.