Finding The Limits: Accepting Defeat

A journal of memories from the early morning December 30th, 2023.
Photos from the morning:
www.blarrel.com/Blacks/Archiv...
Let me know your thoughts below and if there's something you'd like to see in the future!
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[@johnbruce2868]

I'm 69. Now past surfing in anything +4ft but to hear again, self-awareness and truth about the frailty of one man in awe of nature is the mark of a real surfer. That's authentic living.

[@reddiver7293]

"Authentic living." I like that. Really good term. Thanks, John.

[@besnkinic]

*nice

[@thebronze59]

Im 66 now still surf, however a massive drop in size and power. It is great to see a fellow surfer be humble in his attitude to big surf (Topman). The ocean does not care about us, ive had some scary situations in the past. You must to learn to surf within your capacity be you young or older that is wisdom. I do miss the feeling of dropping in on a 15ft+ back in time. PEACE.🤙

[@wdntyolik2no529]

that was beautiful man. I know the feeling we’re kind of in the same boat.

[@sandman93449dm]

I'm 76 from a different era..yet, I do know that feeling.

[@reddiver7293]

73. Yep.

[@jerrymoulden9165]

76 know how you feel.

[@wdntyolik2no529]

I’m 66 same era well actually I came in right at the short board you were at the end of the longboard but I think we all know that feeling huh?

[@colmanmcvaney4295]

The ocean always wins

[@jimmyconway8025]

Was Goin to say. Yeah just get to play

[@pabloroblesgil1]

As Edmund Hillary famously said "It's not the mountain we conquer but ourselves". In this case, the ocean.

[@brandonr4243]

Brutal Beautiful Poetry

[@besnkinic]

my buddy big wave dave, said he surfed blacks back in the late 80s/early 90s and one day caught a wave that felt like a slow motion mountain of water. he said the height felt like 30', but was very slow and almost crumbly. a week later he almost drown there on an 8' day, but it was pitching barrels and much more powerful. he is very brave and experienced, and love hearing his stories about surf i'll probably never attempt.

[@reminaya]

I knew Dave! He drove a green '57 chevy all hopped up back then in Cardiff... Yeah, lots of giant days at Blacks in the late 70's, 80's, 90's etc.

[@reddiver7293]

I'm from Hawaii, but I have heard stories about a guy called Big Wave Dave.

[@markusbroyles1884]

"In big waves the size is measured in increments of fear" Buzzy Trent I surfed Rincon on the day of the '68 swell. We didn't know how big it was or how big it would get later. A grey day, I paddled out from the Highway as the backwash gave a free ride for about 100 feet toward the outside, and I waited for the last wave of the set. THOSE waves were huge. When I got outside a guy told me to switch paddle directions as a giant set was coming. We barely made it out as we scratched for the oil piers. I got 3 waves on a wide roundtail that was not a gun. I watched a guy go through his board dropping in when he hit the bottom . It was terrifying as the waves were very dark and some were gigantic. It may have been 30 feet on some sets. David Nuuheva went out later that day. It was the biggest day of all time at Rincon. We had parked on the ocean side of the highway (Then you could do that) But it wasn't long till the waves washed over the highway and actually did dammage to a motorhome parked near to us. My friends moved the car right away after I jumped. Went in after loosing my board. My friends couldn't believe it. No way they would go out. I was 17.

[@reddiver7293]

That 17 year old boy returned to land as a man that day. what a day! What a swell! Wish I could have seen it. I used to swim laps in the channel at Ala Moana Park. One day I literally swam into Buzzy Trent! Brother was also swimming laps.He was so solid, I thought I had hit one of the rocks that stick out there! We started chatting as we were showering off the salt water. He was the nicest, well spoken, humble guy ever! I couldn't believe I was talking to a living legend! We ended up becoming friends. And i was always awestruck at Buzzy's recounting some of his giant wave experiences. In the most matter of fact tone: "Fred Van Dyke and I were out at Avalanche and here came a heck of a big wave..." RIP, bradda Buzzy.

[@dunningkruger3774]

74' mega N swell, only two of us there. Stormy but clean enough. Only option to get out was a massive rip down by the elevator. Almost made it out. Caught by the biggest wave I'd ever seen at that point of my experience... tried to get over the top of it and went over the falls backwards still paddling. Took a thrashing that I will never forget, even compared to big Hawaii in later years. We tucked our tails and made the hike back up. There were some great days to come, but never took another beating like that one at Blacks.

[@reddiver7293]

Whoa! Ultimate wipe out! Made my palms feel sweaty just thinking about going over the falls backwards on a big wave. Reminds me of the cover shot on an old Surfer magazine: Lucius Lee getting sucked over the falls backward at Sunset. Thanks for posting your tale.

[@Waterman1000]

Absolutely fantastic bit of narrative poetry! Well written/spoken, and also speaks to the heart of every surfer who “knows the feeling” you’re describing. It’s first and foremost an internal sense of defeat that is only magnified by the presence of others doing what we’ve determined is above or beyond us. The feeling sucks, but the feeling is also very true. Not embracing it can cost our very lives because we are not others; we are ourselves.

[@Blarrel.]

Love that and totally agree. Thanks for your words.

[@Waterman1000]

@@Blarrel.. Thanks man! Keep ‘em coming! I think you’ve found a unique niche in the Tubespheres! I mean, what surfer doesn’t appreciate hearing their sport (I’m always hesitant to use that one-dimensional word for our multidimensional ocean activity that is just as much art), described in poetry? The phenom and artistic photos/visuals combined with those lines of spoken word poetry (also combined with the fact that there’re coming from a real surfer) make this medium very cool. 👌🏼I think I’m speaking for lots of others who appreciate this when I say I’m looking forward to more! 🤙🏼

[@timtemple2230]

I remember being drug over the reef on a huge day on the northeast side of Maui... could barely move my limbs the water was so powerful I thought I was toast . My respect for the ocean grew tremendously after that hold down.

[@Akooks]

I remember the first time I surfed Blacks Beach on a huge swell over 12 years ago. Surfline was calling for 20-25ft but it was closer to 15-20ft with gnarly offshore wind. Caught 3 waves that morning, two of them being the best barrels of my life. Then the biggest set of the morning came, I’ve never dealt with a wave that big and tried to duck dive it. It was the wrong choice, I got annihilated along with everyone else, leash wrapped around my legs and hog tied me. I was held under for two set waves unable to kick before I could get another breath of air. I just remember how rattled I was, went in after that. Those 20-30 seconds felt like 5 minutes of hell to me.

[@thomasrebotier1741]

Blacks is so beautiful

[@wdntyolik2no529]

hey man, I’m 66 years old. I’ve been surfing since I was 10 they kinda look like Black Beach to me, but I guess it probably wasn’t anyway I know the feeling I’ve been out before and you get the feeling that it’s just you’re not supposed to be there, I barely made it back too. I remember that day like it was yesterday and I was like 20 years old. Thank you for this video. It brought back a lot of really good and some bad memories but more good than bad. Thanks again.❤

[@wdntyolik2no529]

Oh yeah, I wanted to say you tell a great story man

[@Blarrel.]

Thank you! Glad to share it and I appreciate you sharing your experience

[@TBlanktim]

Yeah man, that's just it. The ocean always wins is right. Can't fight it but work with it. Don't, and will take you. Been there. More than once. Sometimes it is smarter to say uncle.

[@paternoneri3494]

I've definitely had more than a few of those days when Mother Ocean says, "NOT today My child" And not even that Big. Just Ultra consistent Waves breaking on your head non-stop

[@reddiver7293]

Hah, yes! Those sessions where, after a prolonged amount of paddling and still not out at the lineup, you find yourself asking yourself, "What exactly is going on here?" You look back on land and you are surprised to see two of your friends already back on the shore. You look to your sides and your friends, scratching heroically, are looking at you and shaking their heads. You're ready to give up when you see a guy at the lineup catch a beautiful wave! So you put your head down, take a deep breath and keep paddling!

[@dorecannon2851]

Yes the stuff can kill you. You know you did everything right, ifyou're still breathing. I've sat outside on big days in Hawaii just watching and learning before ever dropping in.

[@reddiver7293]

Haha! Yep, those big days. Places like Laniakea. Your hair is completely dry, salt crystals on your skin, looking back at land and wondering what the hell you are doing out on a day this big, wondering how in the hell you are going to make it back to dry land alive.

[@nick_barringer]

The ocean, always humbling but there is always the fight and reward tomorrow 🤙🏻

[@Blarrel.]

Only one way to find out!!

[@buzz5969]

Not if ya dont know when to foldem and callit a day..

[@johntuttle9544]

Better scared than dead. I was out at Ocean Beach, SF in 1980 or so and it wasn't right. It started off normal then the waves started breaking sideways to the beach and getting huge. I went in. Then a set came in that was truly a cloud break. It broke on the great San Francisco Bar which is a sand bar about a mile offshore. It was a 60' barrel if it was a foot literally as big as anything Mavs throws that is hollow. The famous Dr. Mark Renneker (contemporary of Jeff Clark and Richard Schmidt) was apparently out there and got a wave, the first time the Bar had ever been surfed. I was scared just watching the wave. You guys in SoCal can cry all you want about how huge it was at some local reef yadda yadda but until you come up NorCal you truly don't know what it's like to not feel safe even on shore even when the real juice is firing. Don't mind my teasing. :)

[@s.z.9517]

I'm a bodysurfer and sometimes I follow my surfer friends in conditions I'm not sure I can handle. I push my limits and somehow always recognize the moment when I have to go back to shore. Bodysurfing allows no mistakes, if it's too shallow, or too big, you still have to take a wave to get out. The older I get, the wiser I am.

[@reddiver7293]

What, in the year 2024, type of fins do you wear? I still miss the old Voit Duckfeet when the blades were flexible (not the stiff POS ones made today). Churchills are about as effective as wet socks out at Pipeline. Best ones I can find nowadays: Da Fins

[@s.z.9517]

@@reddiver7293 I use da fins as well, very efficient comfortable.

[@wikolib6821]

Great story. What I do is "declare victory" and go in. Any day you survive intact is a victory.

[@jayrandall7643]

That One. On That Day... WHENT out side, outter brake. And Got Blessed. Yyeess, Thanks for the blessing..that one.. always with me..

[@srf2112]

The ocean always wins. It occasionally lets us feel in charge just long enough for the next lesson to catch us.

[@chrishartz2397]

Excellent decision making…

[@Jon-go6be]

Respect for the ocean Is what it's called.

[@dobbins4323]

Great clip, great narration, know that feeling.

[@austinswift1602]

You are a very wise traveler. Cheers from NC.

[@jaysmith6238]

Had that feeling before. You got to keep your shit together. Fear is no joke. Stay calm, stay focused.

[@ManambeLavaka]

Experiences like these are very valuable to our development, arguably more so than when it all goes right.

[@SuperAmin1950]

No, they're not; the key is to paddle out, have a good surf, and then shut up about it and keep it to yourself, nobody need hear about it, you've got work in the morning. 😅

[@jeremywalsh5666]

Great description of the waves.

[@greghart6310]

Its not a competition, so the ocean didnt win. In a way you won, you got back safely, which is the only imperative. "Safety at sea, our first priority." One sentence that was drummed into my head as a grom. Few things are more awe inspiring, more scary than arriving in the line up in a huge building swell, each set bigger than the next and the chances of getting back in easily, diminishing swiftly. Those are the times that teach us the most, about ourselves and about respect for the forces of nature.

[@markshepardson4450]

65yrs old now and after 46yrs here on the NorthShore I have to say I stay in the 5' and under club.My deathorglorydays in xxxlg Surf between 78'-91' were GR8 until I bounced off the bottom at Rockpiles and cracked my skull and Folded my right shoulder blade.,The Ocean Will always Win in the End

[@EMan-cu5zo]

I remember going out on days that I knew I wasn’t really prepared for. A couple of times I made it out and wished I didn’t. Getting back in was more difficult and scary than getting out.

[@danielroberts2888]

Yeah man!!! Learning day for sure.

[@c.a.saunders2819]

Congratulations on your decision. Arriving at your limitations is a turning point. It can be the birth of wisdom for some, and the confirmation of it for others. You used your's to protect your fragile life. On earth, it is your only one. While we cannot live in fear, we must not be frivolous. The distance between here and now, and gone and then is razor thin. You chose well. C A

[@Blarrel.]

Thanks for your words! I appreciate the insight.

[@WhiteNacho]

Those two days were HUGE!

[@ChickenJoe-tq6xd]

Missed out on awesome waves bro

[@reddiver7293]

All these seasoned wave riders sharing their stories about learning their limits despite their skill, endurance and courage. And you coming off like you're better than them. Maybe. Maybe not.

[@ChickenJoe-tq6xd]

@@reddiver7293 bro have you seen my clips in surfs up?

[@captainamerica3531]

Awesome story. Looks like Blacks.....

[@user-js9rd5py4o]

Good story line I’ve been there many times like that myself I surf a Channel Islands

[@Steven_Oliver_Resurfaced]

You have a healthy respect for the ocean. such amazing work. Keep grinding dude! look at this video! 8k and climbing. yew!

[@Blarrel.]

Thanks Steven!! More to come!

[@stuartg6606]

I really like the picture at 0:36. Familiar yet also dark, moody, foreboding. Mordor feeling.

[@Blarrel.]

Thank you! The rain was coming down really hard and it’s always hard to capture that. Mordor was definitely the ambiance the area was giving off at the time.

[@nickcollins4268]

Smart man.

[@ryanbarry4916]

Bailed and swam through a 25-30 foot face that morning. 4 guys out. Wish someone from the beach got a photo from the road for reference.

[@Blarrel.]

The rain probably kept most folks home until midday

[@charlessimons1692]

very cool

[@reddiver7293]

Nice video. It sort of reminds me of the last Eddie in which Kelly Slater gave up his slot, saying he, "...wasn't feeling it." No shame. No defeat. I have to respect and admire such adamant demands of one's self regarding a big swell. Challenging yourself in larger waves is this literal test of our limits, physically and mentally. First, your inner battery was feeling less than fully charged. Second, you had the strength and experience to not die, not need rescuing and making it back to your car on your own. Third, you understood and accepted the gain/risk factor as it applied to you and that particular swell. Fourth, you get to surf another day!

[@Blarrel.]

Thanks! Yes it’s definitely a mental battle through those four steps, but worth the ups and downs to have that opportunity to swim out another day.

[@reddiver7293]

@@Blarrel. Nothin' better!

[@snocoadventures]

The regrets you would’ve faced by not knowing your limits may have been even worse. Live to surf another day -Be Blessed

[@erikmisleh82]

🙏🏽🤙🏽❤️

[@emi.austin]

Spooky 😬

[@JoeinBabylon]

nice

[@jbyrd1309]

What break was that? What Beach?

[@dannywoody5497]

Sounds like you got out just in time

[@andrewmair7371]

Watch for a little longer before you launch 🤷🏻☝️😉

[@justtowatch111]

Never known that feeling. It's always just been water to me. I have gotten to the point where I thought I might not make it up from the depths but it's always just been water. I have nearly been swept out to sea with no one around and it's still only ever been water to me. In those days I was fit enough to know it was only water (600 press ups under 10 minutes) and I was able to hold my breath for over 5 minutes at rest so it was only water to me. I'd suggest that if you want to treat the ocean like a playground then you better be able to see it as only water.

[@spenceroliphant2665]

Corny and disrespectful to the ocean. I hope she humbles you soon

[@Gilliganfrog]

Telling people to see dangerous conditions as "just water" is foolish advice, because the only way to actually survive a long life of surfing is to ALWAYS know your limits and ALWAYS respect the ocean. Big surf is "just water" the same way an avalanche is "just snow" and a tornado is "just air". You might as well be saying that the stakes here are "just your life".

[@justtowatch111]

@@Gilliganfrog If you took your head out of your arse for two seconds and read the entirety of what I said you, if you had any intelligence, would understand my comment made it clear why I considered it just water and why it is important to prepare with a super high level of fitness and a big lung capacity but you just had to be the big man.

[@wjbk8252]

If you do not have the right board its not even worth swimming out. Sounds like a long board may have been better the last two days. Impressive waves though. I'd say you scored the first two days. I recall the shorelines in Northern California. You had to be careful about your beach landing spot. Strips of sand disappearing into rock cliffs at high tide. Tricky getting out. 😮😅

[@johnanthonycafe2993]

The narration sounds like The Twilight Zone

[@inward_passage]

“The Ocean Won” a very interesting perspective but how about leaning into the possibility that you were able to listen to her well on this day…meaning you succeeded in connecting. Man can never tame her and will never “win” outside of his own narrow perspectives…but perhaps be allowed the honor to connect deeply with her to share a small piece of the energy she has to offer.

[@Blarrel.]

Love that perspective!

[@reminaya]

You're never really "outside" at Blacks. Crazy assed sneakers pop up a quarter mile out, and you find yourself scrambling for your life!

[@krusher74]

The percentage of surfing waves to just fighting the ocean at a place like black is horrible, even if you watch video of there out of 50 people hardly one is "winning". I'll stick to my reef breaks with friendly channels with more waves ridden than duckdives in a session.

[@francus7227]

Drama.....

[@dawggonevidz9140]

The ocean didn't win, she let you go home.

[@user-zp6zj7no1k]

Location ?