FIRST DATE MISTAKES ELEGANT WOMEN AVOID | Don't make these mistakes on your first date

Dating Mistakes Elegant Women Avoid!
Ladies, do you ever wonder why you didn't get the call back that you anticipated? Are you wondering why you weren't invited for a second date? Are you simply tired of being ghosted and are on the brink of giving up on finding love altogether? Well, ladies, I am here to assure you that it does not all have to be bleak!
It is important that we focus on the things we CAN control. We can't control how our date will react or behave but we can polish ourselves and put our best foot forward to ensure that we are the best versions of ourselves and increase our chances of being asked out again.
Here, I speak about 7 dating mistakes that you MUST avoid if you want to increase your chances of dating success. If you have been making these mistakes, it is likely that it is costing you the chance of nurturing a promising relationship. Ensure you leverage your self-improvement journey to maximise your chances of dating success by avoiding these first date faux- pas.
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#firstdatetips
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#WomenOfElegance

[@WomanOfElegance]

Ladies, I hope you enjoy this video! Certain mistakes could cost you a budding romance. I skipped point no. 4 because it was a little controversial. Which other mistakes do you think should be avoided?

[@rminah8924]

Hi Vivienne Thank you for the advices.

[@Bnesi97]

If a man asks me “What are you looking for in a partner?” I never tell him. Can’t be out here giving the cheat code to your heart because unserious men love to pretend in order to get what they want from us women. Proverbs 4:23 says above all else , guard your heart because everything you do flows from it. I just say something vague like “ A man who’s not afraid to be himself “ … that way I get to see the real him and decide for myself whether or not I want to move forward.

[@Ariennys]

Love this ♥️

[@LazygirlLA892]

I got got so sick of men asking me "What are you looking for" on online dating sites that I started telling them random items that people loose and look for. Like remote control, car keys, etc.

[@cynthiahoyi3925]

Hey, I believe you can say it without actually saying it. For example, Instead of saying I’m looking for someone who is family oriented, positive, has a relationship with God and attentive. I would saying, I’m looking for someone who is capable of building strong relationships with those around him, has a great out look on life, and who shares the same values as me and someone who is intentional. So you have actually given the cheat code cause it’s up to him to make out what all those things really means.

[@Bnesi97]

@@cynthiahoyi3925 Hey Cynthia , I respect your take on it. I still personally feel that’s giving him an opportunity to pretend he’s all those things and more though. I would rather see the real him without the “hints” of what my preferences is and go from there. I’ve seen women overshare even the slightest .. then 6 months down the road or even when they got married his mask began to fall off.

[@Linda-ot3pj]

Amen 😊

[@user-ko2tu3ss3o]

Sadly, reading these comments it seems that there are so many ladies with so little confidence. Never ever let a man treat you with anything other than respect. Walk out. Do not apologise. Do not make excuses. Leave for the sake of your future self. You are worth more.

[@Trinitytruth7]

It is not wise to tell a potential mate what you are looking for in a man in great detail as some men are highly likely to pretend to be what you want to get into your panties. It is best to be general and name things that are both common to men and women like honesty, loyalty, integrity, respect and fun.

[@faithchollom4427]

My best tip is Confidence

[@alcudiababe1]

I actually got dumped because I wanted a serious relationship and the guy just wanted fun!! This happened after I said I wouldn't have sex with someone if the sex wasn't meaningful for him but I suppose it helped me find a meaningful relationship that bit quicker he just wanted someone who was easier to fool around with. Although it initially hurt, I actually respect the guy because he didn't ghost me or keep me hanging he actually had the decency to call me up and call our relationship quits. I actually respect the two guys who actually did phone me to say this - I was more angrier receiving a text it's just a cowards way out and not a honourable man but at least I got my answer from that guy to move on.

[@lifewithmahalia]

Story of my life😊Men find me less attractive when I say I won't just have sex with him. Better yet, put a ring on my finger first. Can't be giving so much of yourself to a man who isn't even planning on staying. I refuse🥲. You did well by communicating your boundaries

[@alcudiababe1]

@@lifewithmahalia well, you know, he was always like wanting sex and as I was listening to a lot of Christina Aquilera at the time I was quoting a line from Candy Man "good things come to boys who wait" and he would say, I think I've waited long enough so about the second time he said this I had a chat with him because it wasn't like I wouldn't be putting out, I just wanted to know if he was serious before I did anything and he wasn't so - we broke up, but it's better for me there is a clear cut because if I know a relationship is over I can mentally move on. Although I was initially upset about it I refused to stay in and cry about it and ended up going out. I was determined not to hit my pillow and after being a bit stupid with him but with the help of the internet I glammed up a bit more at least making myself look appealing, if I wanted a boyfriend I had to attract one and less than a month he was coming up to my work so much, into the café with his misses and her baby that everyone passed comments asking if we were getting back together!! But I think he was playing games with me as I finally attracted another boyfriend - and never looked back!

[@rennigaderedd9483]

These are great tips, especially about not talking about past relationships. This is why I don't talk about mine, because whenever I hear a gentleman talk negatively about his ex partner, it makes me wonder if that's how he would talk about me if we got serious, and then parted ways? If I'm asked about my ex husband, or past relationships, I just respond with " It didn't work out." If they keep pushing for me to go into more detail, I tell them again " It didn't work out. " and I think about if I want to go out with this person again, because they didn't respect my boundaries.

[@Nelleecruz]

I need to learn not to speak about my Exs to prospective guys, because I noticed it chases them away after hearing about my Exs. Oh wow. I need to drill this into my head.

[@ImtheONEnotthetwo]

@@Nelleecruz I can relate! I'll never do it again!

[@Chahlie]

Oh my heavens. I was at a dinner event last night. Was seated next to a lovely lady. Her 'date' was seated across the table, an 'older' man, quite arrogant, and he told me right off the bat that they are 'only friends' and met online. Then asked if I was single (heck no!). The man had longer fingernails than mine, and dirty (and I'm a gardener). Exchanged numbers with the lady (she is newish to this country and trying to make friends) and vowed to never date online. Point is, make sure the man is worth making an effort for first, but in my new friend's case I think she made a few new female friends and contacts, so all is not lost :)

[@eshjane]

He asked me about how many men I slept with. I replied “only my husband”. 😉

[@Trinitytruth7]

Why even answer that question? It is none of a man’s business how many men you slept with. He will judge you and to some people, even what you feel is a low number can be seen as promiscuous. Men screw anything and everything and pat each other in the back. Why subject yourself to the perverse and wicked double-standard. If he must know, he’s likely not the man for you.

[@theresaelizabethelijah117]

Stupid question! No answer! Date over!

[@Zanzan8]

That's a sicko...run away

[@alcudiababe1]

If someone asked me what are you looking for I'd smile, smile with my eyes as well as my mouth and ask them - what are you looking for? That way you can avoid people pretending to be someone who they are not and then they get that you're someone who'll turn things back around to make them think. You'll probably get some resistance and the whole "No you go first," but if this is a first date and a little bit of teasing is fine but if they really want to know say you'll tell them if you get to hear something first and you control what you tell them. You don't need to tell them your life history but you could say I value someone who is honest, some one who knows himself and what he wants and isn't afraid to speak his mind. He might agree with all those points but then overtime you must watch and see if his actions line with his words because you're not going to get a true picture on a first date. You have to give them the benefit of the doubt at first when they are telling you who they are and you can make a better decision whilst dating them but speaking from experience do not cancel spin class or something like that to spend time with him. There's attraction in what is distant so they value your time when you are with them. I'm saying don't be so overly accommodating. It's okay to be busy plus it adds to your mystery.

[@eshjane]

I need to keep following you. Thank you!

[@Thislife78-p1w]

this channel is a gem! thanks

[@lydialal.l.f8382]

Awesome point, thank you so much :D !

[@madelynebibbs-fisher3029]

Thank you, Thank you, you're amazing Viviann

[@lydiafaithmanhanga5978]

Thanks Vivian l love your videos and look forward to them

[@patiencematipa9480]

Hi auntie viviene. Thank you so very much for your lessons. Am new to your lessons but I believe from today I've become a woman of elegance.

[@sweetmimasdiakite2821]

Thank u somuch… you are wonderful 💃🏾💋

[@julietgeorge2440]

I love everything about you your words ,way of dressing makeup everything

[@dumsileprincess2780]

I just started following you dear and I’m falling in love with your character dear thank you so much 🙌🏾😊

[@buinlemfaith3887]

I just came across your channel today. and i could not stop watching more videos.Thank you for all these tips.Please i wish to know what to say when he is the one that first ask about your past relationship

[@ridewithme3678]

Thank you for your time!

[@lioness4447]

My deal breaker tobacco and alcohol use so many lie about it or promise to stop which is another red flag...Thank you 🌹

[@GoldenKay19]

Love the reminder at the end "high value men only" needed that thanks a lot 💖

[@realnuriat1257]

Thank you sister

[@blossoulmnetwork8644]

He who has an ear, let him hear. Love this!!

[@lioness4447]

Thank you 🌹

[@JBTHEJEWELER]

😍😍😍😍😍 I can listen to you talk all day long 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@notinvogue4287]

Of all the feminine and etiquette content, I enjoy this channel the most. Thank you.

[@m.s9146]

Think it’s more important that he take you to his favorite restaurant, than a super fancy restaurant. That’s what my husband did and he chose a place with a huge variety of food choices. If you are with a businessman be prepared to discuss business, a doctor likes to talk about medicine, etc. Let him take the lead. You are so right that high caliber men know what they want.He will likely make a second date plan before the evening is over if you are meeting his check list.

[@Linda-ot3pj]

I love these videos. We are of high value always remember that

[@belindacrisp7078]

This is running a bit like 'the story of my dating life'. Thank goodness I met and married a lovely man and have been happily married for 25 years now. This might sound silly but I didn't actually understand what people meant by 'boundaries' until recently. I thought it meant my behaviour and didn't think about how other people treated me. Because I had very low self esteem I'd pretty much do anything and allow anything because 'who was I to tell someone else "no"? I even felt I should get out of everyone else's way when I was driving. If you don't value yourself I guarantee a man probably won't bother valuing you either. Every single one of us is valuable. You want a man or partner, that's fine. You don't 'need' one though to be of value, and you don't need feedback from other people to increase your value. It is there. It might help your ego but it won't really help your sense of self value in the longer term. It's kind of like selling something because you've reduced the price to bugger all. If you have low self esteem you really should consider why. The best way to increase your self esteem (imo) is to achieve something. That can be learning a skill, creating something, joining a group of people with similar interests... As you gain self esteem (and you will!!) you become whole. You become solid. It's unsettling and a bit scary to be romantically involved with someone who is effectively a shape shifter, changing their 'selves' to try and please someone who doesn't even know them.

[@JOI.with.an.i]

This was so beautiful to read.

[@ayotmisticka3768]

This is just lovely and highly educative...I'll take it all. Thank you

[@elohoroghorodi196]

Thank you

[@carollim7497]

Hi Vivienne, recently have been watching your Woman of Elegance videos. I really made all the 8 mistakes that you mentioned. After 40 years, i met this friend on messenger. He was very happy and said that he didn't expect this to happened.. was it fated! I missed our chats while i was in bangkok for holiday.. but when i came back to Singapore. At the airport he message me and asked if we could meet for a dinner date the next day. I said yes! We met and i ruined everything on my first date after 40 years have not seen each other. I was rather cold towards him because of my past bad experiences..i have not been dating since and it could be i'm more guarded. Looks as if am ignoring him.. but i don't know why am doing this..after this date he seems not to contact me and when we talked he sounded cold... I told him i missed him while i was in Bangkok chatting with him. He said he was so blessed! He said we could have been married if not for the misunderstanding we had 40 years ago..he said i have been ignoring him which isnt true. Vivienne could you advise me what to do now. Btw, he is a gentleman and a positive guy. Doing so well in his Computer business. Thanks Vivienne

[@realnuriat1257]

Am listening 🎧

[@tash-annlewis5435]

As a young girl I love listening to this❤❤

[@esthermutua1287]

Aweosome one 🤗🤗🤗🤗🌹💞💞💞💗💗🔥🔥

[@phylis3917]

Others are copying you and your posts. Your presentations are new and varied and wide ranging.

[@terraiznajem105]

❤thank you

[@faadnavip7956]

N.5 is my biggest mistake always

[@nancymarende1003]

Nancy was just chilling😂😂

[@marinaom8641]

You look awesome 👌👏

[@lillanmukasa6959]

Hi thankx dia for the great information . But i always tell my man i love him. Is it bad ? we hv been dating it's a year some change now

[@gamerlife2282]

What about women that are naturally shy?! We tend to sweat a little and maybe blush quite easily.And a man notice that.Some of us simply are more sensitive and shy EVEN IF we are confident.

[@katiekrupa6608]

❤

[@blossoulmnetwork8644]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@sangeethac4209]

How about divorced ? Should that be told upfront before the date or when to say that ?

[@samrasiddiqui8479]

I agree we shouldn’t speak abt our past relationships but is it okay to ask if he’s divorced now?

[@WomanOfElegance]

Absolutely. But not in detail.

[@jessicajessica8339]

So if someone has made some of the mistakes u just mention here and the guy ghost her after the first date no call no messages does it mean that the guy is over her and she should not call him or text him Bec he did not call her???

[@757onelovein757]

💎💎💎

[@Suaveone-mm8yw]

😊🤗

[@cathymunyua4944]

An elegant friend got married to a man who put mask and the monster of desperation hit on her The man demands she cook lunch and dinner daily for him and she is never taken on a dinner date or getaways...poor lady she is monitored and timed...

[@kingtahaa1125]

Hi , do you have any online course for elegant women?

[@WomanOfElegance]

Hi dear please sign up to www.eliteschoolofelegance.com as the course will commence in April xx

[@spec_2007]

I love you ma 😘

[@blessingets7817]

What if my partner ask about my past relationships on a first date, please how do I respond to that?

[@lhughes6656]

"My past relationships are irrelevant to my life right now. I learned a lot and I've grown as a person because of them but I prefer to focus on the present" 🙂 You could even follow up by changing the subject and asking a more present question to him. Your past relationships are not his business on the first date. If he's asking this it's so he can judge you by them. Don't let him. A mature, HV man won't ask this on a first date.

[@user-gp8rt9pr8h]

If he asked me I'd would reply frankly that i want money, gold, diamond, luxury car, big house and i also expect good exiting bed times activities

[@FruityHachi]

if i don´t drink alcohol, is it ok to refuse wine in a restaurant? is it ok to order just water or tea?

[@rminah8924]

I told my date I'm allergic to red meat & his response was I shouldn't embarras him...

[@FruityHachi]

@@rminah8924 wow, wtf? i hope you dumped him

[@user-ko2tu3ss3o]

Of course it is fine. Just ask for a glass of what ever else you would prefer. You do not have to give a reason. Or you can just say, thank you but I do not drink. Say it with confidence. You are worthy of respect and do NOT undermine your own values and integrity for anyone EVER. If he does not respect that, leave. No second chances.

[@LazygirlLA892]

I order a soda water in a short glass with a slice of lime as it makes it look like I'm drinking an alcoholic drink.

[@FruityHachi]

@@LazygirlLA892 that’s a good idea, thanks for a suggestion

[@ikunivera5438]

What re d likely questions to ask on a first date?? Should d man do more of d talking ?? Tnk...

[@victoriawilkinson2677]

Don’t talk about your ex partner

[@Andreasrodgre]

48 hours is too much even

[@Linda-ot3pj]

I don’t think having sex on a first date is a good idea either

[@temeeka976]

Lol

[@Thislife78-p1w]

this channel is a gem! thanks