First Time Hearing Alone With Me by Hopsin | Suicide Survivor Reacts

[@MentalAmanda]

💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

[@logankerlee]

Good vibes. :)

[@Cripplified]

Thank you for accepting rap music suggestions when they are applicable to the channel. Not all rap is filled with the party, sex, and violence stereotypes. It's an artform that can be poetic and beautiful when done right, just like any other genre. You don't need to go back and listen to music you react to to at least appreciate it's message. I'm glad you're willing to expand your musical horizon to talk about the message a song is trying to send, and how you can relate to it.

[@UKFreakster86]

I'm into any genre of music but generally metal/rock/blues/punk but I'm always drawn to rap like Hopsin, Jelly Roll, Tech N9ne, NF etc because they have so many mental health songs and songs that reach us on that kind of level. So glad to see this reaction, keep up the important work :)

[@berathaxhiu7326]

Check out Dax too if you haven't already 😉

[@samuelsmith5622]

I needed this today, my mind went/is still there since yesterday. I'm 54 and have been fighting this darkness since I was 9 years old. It gets harder to fight this, 3 years ago I almost succeeded, my body had other plans. Thank you for this space.

[@oeltingbeats]

I hope you are okay today!

[@bararobberbaron859]

Aside from the song and the reaction, I have to say, I think 'Not a bunny' is my favorite description of Hopsin. So many ways to describe him, all with their own connotations attached, using different words to avoid saying stuff with connotations in itself has connotations. But the pure innocence and surrealism of 'Not a bunny' somehow just works for me. It tickled me. And especially what he says to/about himself in the song, the innocence to the opening is a lovely juxtaposition.

[@b3r3tta95]

hopsin also struggles with mental health. how he's so relatable

[@mavhunter8753]

You should do more Hopsin. He’s very introspective. Also, I’m sorry to hear about your mom, I send my condolences.

[@headphones2006]

My demons have been really loud lately. This song is kinda how I have been feeling. I can’t be alone with myself because of my shadow, which is why I always have something playing in my earphones. I can’t be alone with myself but yet I wanna be alone all the time. It’s to the point my girlfriend and son are noticing. Yesterday it got to a point that I almost screamed and broke down in front of her and her cousins. This has been a really hard week

[@MentalAmanda]

Hey Alec! I'm so sorry that your Shadow is trying to knock you down. We're all here for you and won't let you face this alone!

[@JD-mo4fv]

Amanda, Glad you got to this. I had to throw you one with a positive message. Sorry I haven't been able to jump on a Friday Livestream lately but things have been hectic. I have a few more for you to do. Glad you liked it the song though. See you soon on a live stream. ;IGY6

[@deejayturtle]

OMG. This is crazy. This is my horror. My inner critics won't shut up, I can't even sleep without something on to drown out the inner critics.

[@SparkimusPrime]

Hopsin is always just so good. You should check out his Ill Mind of Hopsin series he did. Hope your well! 🖤

[@deejayturtle]

@@SparkimusPrime I'm as well as normal. Had a major break through recently with my anxiety. Would love to chat with you soon. When last we talked you were having some issues and that was months ago. Hope you are well also.

[@SparkimusPrime]

@@deejayturtle I will hit you up on discord later and we can chat 😊

[@SparkimusPrime]

@@deejayturtle Congrats on your breakthrough! Make sure you give yourself credit for that progress 🖤

[@MentalAmanda]

It took a while, but I started overwriting the tapes that they had been so deeply ingrained. It takes consistency, but it's a HUGE part of getting past the darkness.

[@SparkimusPrime]

Yay!! I was hoping you would get to this!! This track and video are so good and so vulnerable in all the best ways 🖤 I would love to see you react to Phantom Regret by Jim. Jim Carrey does a spoken word piece as the last track off The Weeknd’s new album. It’s one of the most beautiful and haunting things I’ve ever heard. It’s messed me up existentially. Three months after the album came out and I still listen/think about it everyday. Thank you for always having such compassionate reaction to what you listen to 🖤

[@deejayturtle]

LoL, so you sub'd to Amanda too? Figures.

[@SparkimusPrime]

@@deejayturtle Hahaha I’ve noticed we sub to a it of the same channels 🖤

[@MentalAmanda]

Aww, friend match! Adorbs!

[@garrettai1610]

I'm not into rap either but this guy does send really good messages

[@sirikalvik]

Hello Amanda. Nice to see you exploring hiphop! It's unfortunately a stigmatized genre. Hiphop has a lot to offer, and many of my favorite rap songs are tied in with mentality. One song I would like to recommend to you is a song by an artist called NF called Why would you leave us. It's a song dedicated to his mother who died of drug overdose, and it touches on the perspective of the loved ones that are left behind. But I warn you to watch it on a good day, as it is truly heartbreaking, but also massively beutifully made and very important. Hope you have a wonderfull easter, and stay strong!

[@MentalAmanda]

Thank you. Here is one NF song that I have done. kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnytl4ZretpmbKs

[@sleepydragonzarinthal3533]

I suggest listening to something like Aesop Rock - Rings or even his older older stuff, it's pretty raw and honest about depression and self awareness. I'll never forget Ill Mind of Hopsin, it gets really raw, he's explored his pain so thoroughly and publicly it's unbelievable. I am not a big hip hop fan, but some of them like Aesop Rock and Hopsin are too legit to ignore

[@brianhenn9872]

Don't really think you need the whole "journey" but you should get into NF. Mansion, Wake up, Outcast, Paralyzed, NATE, and Taruma are good for your message. Maybe also "interlude with Hate myself". He also does one called LOST with Hopsin.

[@RYANBARRON-u5z]

neven know iam a old school rocker but i love that is like it was talking to me to RYAN

[@diabloeb]

The kid is a ... touchy subject. I highly recommend Hopsin, all of his music comes with a powerful message that can change lives. If you want to learn more about his son situation, Ill Mind of Hopsin 9 gives the situation, and might also be worth a reaction, it's a lot less gritty than this one

[@Snoorlacks]

Also ‘Hotel in Sydney’ gives a lot of context and backstory to what happened

[@davidgaps6589]

I have my episodes in life, and each on leaves a splinter or fracture in my mind. They never leave. I can keep them contained, but sometimes the flare up and get inflamed. This triggers self doubt, self loathing. They shine a spotlight on all my failures. Each failure that left a splinter. Then I over correct, and instead of reaching for help, I pull in. Don't bother others. Don't upset others. I fantasize about a gladiator moment or fight club moment. Me against someone that represents my dark self. I will do battle, a fight to the death. I will kill or be killed. Maybe its a male thing. Anxiety triggering my fight or flight.

[@davidgaps6589]

I loved Gandhi at the end.

[@ak2nda695]

Pull the splinters out, use them as tooth picks and throw them away. I know it's easier said than done, but when you know you're shutting down just stop it. I have to do that a lot. I'm not great at it but I when I feel that way I just try to talk to anyone about anything. We humans are pack animals, you can be on the outer edge of the pack, just don't wander off.

[@numbtolife4032]

I don't feel alive necessarily. I feel like a conduit, alive for the sake of others. Can't say for sure if I hate myself like in the past, but I can't look at myself with sympathy either. Thank you for your thoughts and feelings.

[@MentalAmanda]

That is a very poetic way of putting it. I've been there. Why can't you offer yourself sympathy?

[@numbtolife4032]

@@MentalAmanda it's not an aspect I'm comfortable with, looking and reflecting on myself with sympathy and empathy. I don't feel I deserve reprieve. To reference NF, I feel like I'm at war inside myself but I forgot the shells. More I could say, but I digress. Thank you for taking time out of your day to reply, means alot.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@numbtolife4032 I didn't say you had to be comfortable practicing it. Growth happens when we do the uncomfortable stuff!

[@danielfarias5182]

Tbh, it's possible you are, I know exactly how u feel, cuz I'm the same

[@kangwachisha3357]

You can also check out hopsin ill mind of hopsin 7

[@haveyouseenmybaseball8920]

You should listen to I'll mind 7 by hopsin.

[@donovandelaney3171]

Take a look at My heart is Broken by Evanescence.

[@idontknow-vq9hu]

Sleep Token - Blood Sport (from the room below)

[@loganbrown6184]

Eminem - My Darling Another good song about inner demons/personalities that put in their two cent. Specifically from Eminem's point of view.

[@cmdrjat7074]

You should do a reaction to down in a hole by Alice in chains the MTV unplugged version. I struggle with depression daily and have no one to talk to. When I hear that song, the lyrics and just the raw emotion in his voice absolutely just tears me apart

[@codybyas2675]

You should check out Break The Cycle by Motionless In White! It’s one of my favorite songs and is also very powerful… most Motionless In White music is quite powerful

[@ak2nda695]

Rap is the number one genre of music that I cannot listen to. I will say this was a very well written song. I simply call the negative thoughts my demons. I will often say out loud "devil get out of my head" that's usually when I am thinking it would be easier to end it all. Wednesday I was extremely positive, Thursday was ok until I found out my son got into some legal trouble. We have to hire a lawyer. He keeps making bad decisions and I worry about his mental health. I stayed as calm as I could, I ate my anger (figuratively) and didn't lose my cool with him, I didn't even raise my voice. When we got done talking to him, the demons started in my head. Telling me I'm a failure as a parent. It's 2am and I'm waiting very anxiously to call a lawyer at 9am.

[@MentalAmanda]

Very proud of you for using your skills to regulate your emotions and focus on helping him. I messed up really bad as a teen. Got a felony. Got into drugs. Self harmed. The whole nine yards. I couldn't have asked for better parents. It wasn't their fault and I'm confident it's not yours either.

[@jeremycooper638]

Your story you told is alot like the song glass house by machine gun kelly. That song saved my life..came on at the right moment for some reason

[@chrismyhre354]

you should check out more hopsin, he is very talented. I recommend ill mind of hopsin 9

[@jamessteinhoff7711]

How's your day going so far

[@johngagne4673]

Please do No Way Out by Bullet for my Valentine, it fits in with in mental health

[@stevendolangitano4life301]

Rap is a genre I'm actually getting used to. I'm very particular to what I listen to when it comes to rap. Thank you for this interesting tidbit. Fridays are my Narcotics Anonymous meeting, so I won't be here for the livestream. Have fun ya'll.

[@PaganGamer520]

You need to look up and watch NF I suggest the search first.

[@MentalAmanda]

One NF reaction already kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnytl4ZretpmbKs

[@allenrogalskiy7036]

Please do nf how could you leave us.

[@masterroshi2158]

I've heard a bit of hopsin and he does alot of song with a very dark truth you may not always be ready for what he's about to say a few others buy him I think more people should see are ill mind of hopsin 5 and ill mind of hopsin 6

[@dustybones1448]

Metal music is great, should try a little rap review Wu Tang clan good stuff.

[@alokorton5125]

React dear alcohol

[@lwandleloumaphumulo4381]

You should try and react to NF 😭

[@MentalAmanda]

Here is one NF reaction kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnytl4ZretpmbKs

[@rogerlosh3537]

Listen to already dead by juice wrld

[@jamessteinhoff7711]

Linkin Park castle of glass

[@oscarhokom8394]

Yea hopsin is pretty good but I prefer Dax.