Forcing Kids To Do Things | Ep. 348

[@janegranger6821]

You have such a wonderful christ centered marriage & how you are raising your children is so inspiring. Absolutely love your podcast. It is such a blessing how you share your life with us. We would love to hear about your pregnancy.

[@Rachel-eh3oc]

I have never and won't ever miss a podcast by you guys!!❤

[@anastasialungu7511]

This was very encouraging, especially during the holiday season when close friends/family question your parenting.

[@SarahSherwin-vo2vi]

As a child my parents forced me to play the violin from ages 5-17, even though I hated it. Their love was contingent on my continual improvement as a violinist. If I made a mistake during a performance, my mom would be visibly upset at me afterwards and she would grill me on what I should have done better the whole way home. In addition to practicing every day, my mom made me join a local symphony where I had to practice for 2 hours every Sunday during the school year for 10 years! They even made me take my violin with me when we went on vacation. When guests visited our house, they forced me to play a song for them. My parents made violin into my identity and didn’t really allow me to explore other interests. There were times when I wanted to try a different instrument instead and they refused. I had committed to violin after all. My daily practicing schedule cut into my homework time affecting my performance in school plus it affected my overall ability to be a kid after school. I became very proficient at the violin, but now as an 32 year old adult, I never play. It’s been 15 years since I last truly played. I may have learned some life skills playing violin but overall my experience was extremely negative. If my kids commit to an activity, we will see it through for the season but we can move on to another activity after that if they don’t like it. I will NEVER repeat my parent’s mistake. I believe my parents forced me to get good at violin for their own bragging rights, as they would constantly talk about me to their friends and invite them to my concerts.

[@Rachel-eh3oc]

So sad. Very wrong of them and glad you will do things differently!!!❣️

[@RCGWho]

My daughter played, but it was a God thing. I felt led to read my children the children's book about the Orchestra. I asked them one by one which instrument they liked. When I asked her, she said "violin" and no matter how many other instruments I talked to her about, she was adamant about the violin. A woman had offered me her son's tiny violin when she was a baby. I declined because I felt bad taking her son's first violin. I chose a song for her to put in her birth announcement, Children of the World, by Amy Grant which features a violin solo. All of this was the Lord's leading. I didn't have a thing for violin or having a violinist. She majored in violin performance in college and did her masters in pedagogy. In the end, symphonies are very difficult to get into and she's out of church, so I think her violin doesn't get played much. Anyway, parents, let your children do what God has put in their hearts to do!

[@clamar111]

Thank you so much for this episode. ❤ God bless you guys

[@maryellenmusser3531]

100% the attitude and "why" is what causes the great outcome.

[@Dana-mb1hd]

Ok I needed this today thank you both so much happy holidays ❤

[@elsamartin8165]

I would love a video on how you teach your family joy. Do you constantly sit them down and explain why you all play piano or sit through church? Is it by example? I ask because as husband and wife we have decided we will only do one sport and one instrument as a family. How do we teach them the joy in that while our culture heavily promotes individuality and doing whatever activity the child is called to do?

[@marianeufeld1627]

Good job, it was very encouraging.God bless your whole family.The god is good❤🙏👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

[@kendratai]

My family always gets deathly ill before i have a baby. About to have my 5th and im dreading the end lol😂

[@doratuininga4121]

i did piano lessons with five kids,from age 4-12 i would NOT begin that early again id start grade two first read well then piano then a group sport at grade 3

[@RCGWho]

How old are they? How many play of their own free will, as in it is an actual gift that they enjoy?

[@jmrsflix]

I would love to know what the Ivanka Trump quote is/where it is from - I googled but can't find it!

[@Hello-tg7dr]

I am curious on your take with making kids practice a sport or musical instrument. My son is turning 4 in January. He wanted to do violin and we put him in it. Every time we practice it is a struggle. Should I pause until he is older, or push through? Thank you!

[@florencejoy5209]

Violin is an instrument that is hard to learn. I would recommend an easier Instrument for that age (flute or recorder whatever you call that in america ) ukulele (but a good one that its not a pain because its out if tune all the time. And later when he understands the concept more can move on to an other Instrument. My 4 , almost 5 year old learns to play the ukulele with youtube Videos for kids and my help. And lots of practice in between. It's more encouraging when they can play and sing their favourite song after a week instead of squeaking on the Violine for a month.

[@heidilash9487]

Some things to consider; Does he seem to have a "good" attitude about the struggle? Is he taking the challenge with both hands and really trying or is he frustrated and wants to stop? Also, if you don't want that love of the instrument to wane while he takes a break, may you decide that's best, is there any first hand exposure to someone playing it he can really sit in? A perfect situation would be for him to see someone older (like an older kid who he would look up to an admire, not necessarily a closer aged peer who he could grow jealousy towards) actually learning the instrument so he can watch their progress and see the rewards of diligence in practicing. These are questions I think I wish I could have learned to ask myself as I tried to take on various new skills as a young person....although probably not as a 4 year old :P Best of Luck!

[@RCGWho]

My daughter played, but God really laid out the path. We didn't start until the end of 2nd grade, age 8. It was Suzuki, which is hard for the first couple of years because the parent has to handhold the whole way through. I'd stop for a few years and do a lot of enjoying classical music unless your child is a prodigy.