Forget who you used to be and start over

I used to be so self-aware and socially awkward, on top of being shy and drawn-back.
Many times I tried to change, tried to be more open and social. I took up more space and spoke to everyone. But to my friends and classmates, this was strange behavior. They made such a deal out of my change, some of them even got annoyed with me changing for the better, that I crawled back into my hole. I had gotten negative feedback, and responded accordingly, because the thing I wanted the most was respect from others.
Now, years later, I see the problem in that. In sacrificing who you could be for who you are. In other words, trying to be consistent with the person your friends, family and classmates see you as. For if you want to change, if you want to go from a socially awkward person to a social master, a self-made extrovert in some way, you have to stop listening to your old environment.
A way to do that is to move out, go to a different city and establish yourself as somebody different, as someone more like the person you want to be.
That happened to me, and I realized the power I had when I could decide for myself what to do - but I also faced a huge challenge, one that threatened to end my newly found life.

[@i.2000]

How IS this on the perfect Time for me . This algorithm in this life is divine

[@parrotbeeks6607]

Not alot of other contentcreators bring up how other kids hinder you trying to improve your social skills, great vid 👍

[@JonWal7]

Thank you, I appreciate your words!

[@inspectordraweezy1649]

thats so relatable bro keep uploading!

[@JonWal7]

Thank you bro, I appreciate it!

[@bnjifye]

Very eye opening, sorry to make it about relationships😭 but there was this girl i was with, i was very shy and didn’t talk much, she left me cause of that ( more so cause i wasnt leading, which because i was shy), Now though im not like that anymore, after seeing this video though as much as i want to show her and maybe prove im not like that anymore your right, in her eyes i will still be the shy guy. i was hoping maybe one day she could see i changed and come back but it wont matter. it sucks cause i think about her all the time but 🤷‍♂️ , so anyone reading this just please try and defeat your social anxiety itll make life easier

[@JonWal7]

I see your pain, and I am sorry. Yes, as you say, she would most likely still see you as who you used to be, and so she'd never be able to fully respect you even if she comes to like your new ways. I've got to say, thank you for making it about relationships, it's so interesting to hear how not leading your girl can cause troubles. May I ask, were you shy with her, as in not fully confident when you spent time together, or were you just a shy and withdrawn person altogether at that point?

[@bnjifye]

@@JonWal7 I was shy altogether but with other people i could talk with just fine and everything it wasn’t too bad, with her i was extra shy and barely said much, so yes i would say not fully confident. It’s like when i would try to talk to her i would just go blank but when i talked to other girls i could talk just fine. Like i was scared what she would think or something like that. Now i’ve become less shy and more open. So im sure that won’t happen anymore but i just look back and cringe every time i think about it😭. But hey maybe i just needed that breakup to teach me this lesson. Thank you for your reply

[@JonWal7]

Thank you for replying! I'm no expert on this, but it sounds like it may have been a good lesson to learn. I've felt something similar, when I've been talking to a girl I like, and I try to say something. In my head I try to come up with something cool or fun to say, but keep doubting whether it would fly well with her, so in the end I just become paralyzed and can't speak a word, and then the words that do come out make me sound very awkward and insecure. It was a few years back, so I don't know if it could happen again, but I relate to what you said. Also the part about being scared of what she would think, or rather being afraid of what she might think. It's so interesting that we spend so much time worrying about thoughts the other person may or may not have.

[@douweevenhuis9812]

Beautiful video man, thanks :)

[@JonWal7]

Thank you, your comment means a lot :)

[@Meowwwwww0o0]

Is it wrong to cut off past people/friends because I feel held back and dont want them to see me as someone I no longer am?

[@JonWal7]

It seems my first reply is hidden/deleted by KZbin, so I'll comment again. I don't think there's anything wrong in doing that. Friendship is built on compatibility, and if some old friends still see you as an outdated version of you, then you're not really compatible. Live your life as you want, as the person you want to be. If anybody holds you back, then it's your right to let them go.

[@parveshsharma3222]

Where are you from ?

[@user-xm7bv8zf1w]

really wish this video got the recognition it deserves. Great Great Great video I will be using this from today !!!!! New Me

[@JonWal7]

Thank you so much, it means a lot! Good luck on your new self!

[@estabraqtawfiq]

Your content is outstanding, even though you don’t have many subscribers yet. Good luck, my friend. I’m sure you’re going to crush it in the future.🧡🫶🏻

[@JonWal7]

Thank you, my friend. I appreciate your words, and wish you good luck in your endeavors!