Forgiveness after Betrayal Is a Process | His Grace

Katie saw her father as a hero until he was arrested for misconduct as a teacher. She felt shocked and betrayed. The pain was deep. She was emotionally exhausted and couldn’t face her responsibilities.
Standing in a room where her children’s toys littered the floor, she received a phone call from her father. She thought of the good memories while growing up. She relied on her belief in Jesus Christ and found peace and strength as she considered how He forgave imperfect people who made big mistakes.
“Forgiving him doesn’t mean that you’re OK with his actions,” she said. “It means that you’re not going to dwell on his actions.”
Seeking peace from the weight of the hurt she felt, she “worked really hard by calling him, by visiting him, by not completely severing that tie.” Katie found strength and comfort in prayer to get through the day.
Forgiveness is a process, she said, explaining that it takes work to forgive, more than just the passing of time. “[Forgiveness] came because I was looking for it. It came because I was working for it.”
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[@georgekayser2479]

I love that this series deals with some incredibly difficult topics and problems, ones that really only the Savior, Jesus Christ can heal. This story reminds me of the age-old question, "why do bad things happen to good people?", reframed to "what do good people do when bad things happen to them?". The answer is they turn to Christ for help and healing.

[@tammarabalenaveikau9053]

Thank you for reframing this age-old question. Recently, I've struggled with this question as I've had close family and friends experience insurmountable trials. However, reading your comment has given me a new perspective.

[@fukuarabu2755]

In the end god save only few and left plenty. If you meet god please wish one thing. Only one thing can bring peace to the world forever that is magic.Please Give magic to human.

[@cassandracleveland3136]

Thank you so much for how wonderfully you suggested the reframing of the question! It really resonated with me. 😃

[@just.jayshree]

This video is an answered prayer. I have been praying for the last two days for *this* exact message. I am seeing this one hour after it going up and I *know* the Lord directed me here because I need it right now. Thank you for putting it up when you did. This is so faith building to me 🖤

[@stayblessed5105]

Amen

[@Ismystuff777]

Same, a bit. For months I sturggled with forgiving. I went through a similar process to Katie. Only the other day did I manage to finally get to the light at the end of the tunnel, and this is like a confirmation that I finally did it. And I did it correctly. And I agree completely with what Katie said that forgiveness doesn't mean you agree with the person(s) actions, but instead it means you won't dwell on it and you choose to have a different perspective when viewing them. It doesn't necissarily cause the pain to stop, but it makes things a bit easier. :)

[@churchofjesuschrist]

You are so welcome!

[@00Fisher00]

@@churchofjesuschrist I like the previews on these videos, but they seem to be just a bit confusing. I think they would be less confusing if there was more of a visual and audible break between the two segments; if the sound dropped to silence while the screen faded to black, it would help make an important distinction. When "ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF HIS GRACE" appears on screen, it might also be good if an audibly distinct voice spoke some or all of those words.

[@annaperez7308]

I love how she said she had to work towards forgiveness; it didn’t just come. In order for forgiveness to be healing, it must be intentional and not coincidental.

[@Lulu.sMusix]

What can I do if my dad has already passed on and none of these types of issues were ever spoken about. They were only found out through the illnesses of the many family members including my self and now recently I'm learning may have occurred with my now adult son when he was a baby like with myself? Too many incidents to even count.

[@guardianangel9517]

@@Lulu.sMusix That's a DEFINITE issue you'll need to pray dearly for guidance with. An idea comes to my mind (take or leave it of course)... Write a thorough letter to your dad: questions, feelings, happy sad or angry memories.. EVERYTHING you have EVER had to say. Then make your best peace with the situation, forgive him (knowing one day our Savior will make all things right), forgive yourself for anything you feel bad for (real or imagined), and for the sake of CLOSURE- burn the letter to mere ASH.. Take a deep breath, talk to our LOVING & CARING Heavenly Father, and move forward with NO FEAR❤⚘🙏🏼

[@shaileechristensen8543]

Lucita, my heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry these things happened to you and your son. Therapy, counseling and psychiatry are incredible modern miracles God has given us to help us heal and find solace when we are riddled with turmoil from another's poor use of agency. I too am a fighter with mental illness who has an extremely hard time making sense of and finding forgiveness in some of the wrong-doings done by another to me. I am so sorry that anyone chose to hurt you, your son and whoever else they hurt. None of you deserved or made that happen. If you need extra help with finding a good Dr. Or worried about being able to pay for things, please visit your bishop and ask him for help. He has resources to help you find what you need. Don't give up. God has sent us here with tools to help us succeed. It doesn't mean it's easy, but i can bear witness that it is worth it. The peace is worth it. All the best to you and your son❤

[@cariroundy7814]

Lucita - you can still turn to the Savior for help - he can give you peace, comfort, and eventually forgiveness... You may also want to see a Latter-day Saint therapist - that's a very heavy burden to uncover so much abuse and harm... Sending love and prayers for healing your way ❤️🙏❤️

[@pedromoo]

"[Forgiveness] came, because I was looking for it. It came, because I was working for it", that is a powerful message. A lesson which many of us don't think about when forgiving or being forgiven. Thank you. 😊

[@phyllisyovone8961]

This forgiveness message was enlightening. whether, you are black or white!

[@kaylanchristensen9086]

Wow the part when she said "[forgiveness] came because I was looking for it..it came becauae I was working for it" resonated with me. This video was a beautiful reminder to me that we can't always forgive people immediately but through Christ's atonement we can immediately begin the process. However long it takes, forgiveness is always worth it.

[@rachelkoncurat]

I love how you said we can immediately begin the process! I find it super frustrating when some things take longer to forgive than others, especially when I want to forgive them just as bad? But I love that we don’t have to wait for the process to start. That even if forgiveness isn’t immediate, Christ’s love for us is constant and He will immediately start helping us. Thanks for sharing.

[@trevaperes5343]

This young lady is leap years ahead of most people with that act of forgiveness. God bless you Katie, the Lord is very close to you. May we all strive to be like christ......and your example.

[@stardustgirl2904]

The problem with this for me is ,her Father didn't care about the life he had with his own family, and his daughter! He only cared about what he wanted, to do with someone under age! The sinful heart, he Dad has will always be there,if he doesn't repent, and that is difficult to trust someone with perverse tendencies!

[@kyleflamm4780]

I appreciate her saying forgiveness is not for perfect people, but for those making mistakes big and small!

[@mountaingrannie4020]

Indeed, forgiveness is a process when trust like this is broken. I'm thankful for your example.🙏❤

[@alongtheway3840]

"If I didn't have a relationship with the Saviour when this happened, my suffering would have been deeper, and it would have been longer. It took actual work to get to a place of forgiveness... It felt really heavy, so I worked at it, I worked really hard. And I think that's how forgiveness worked for me. It came because I was looking for it. It came because I was working for it." LOVE this! So insightful, so wise! I'm very grateful for your willingness to share a piece of your story and journey of forgiveness with us. Very heartfelt and meaningful. Thankyou. ❤️

[@coleygyaluv]

I love the definition of how forgiveness is a process. And that it will come if your looking for It. Beautiful video.

[@TENZEN._.]

Her, real, genuine experience shows me what a real good example of trying is. Thank you!

[@theQiwiMan]

This was incredibly moving. Thank you for sharing this story. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is real.

[@MarleeCraig]

I love that line 'forgiveness came because I was looking for it and working for it.' Forgiveness sure is a process. It is really hard to separate the good from the bad in people especially when close connections are involved. This story is evidence that the impossible can be achieved only with and through the help of the Saviour. This story will resonate with so many people. Thank you for sharing ♥️

[@briankellogg3186]

Thank you for sharing this. So many of these words and actions resonate with me in my own healing from betrayal. Jesus Christ truly works miracles when we do the work to heal and come to Him!

[@aubreywhite8673]

Thank you for sharing this! Forgiveness is a release- and I think it can be easy (for a million reasons) to hold on to offenses too tightly sometimes. This was a timely reminder 💕 Thank you for sharing your story!

[@noskalborg723]

this is a message that so many people need to hear. Especially with so many people in the world doing bad things to others because they are afraid they themselves will be hurt if they do not. We need to find it in our hearts to forgive those who are "just following orders", sometimes they are victims too.

[@mrswachita]

I 100% understand what she is talking about. It has been a process to forgive my mother. We should always remember that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is like a water faucet with endless water for us to take, it's not something we use once. I'm forever thankful for that gift for all of us.

[@debrachittwood7696]

But God...Praised Jesus!

[@donjode1]

Thank you Katie for sharing this message of the process of your forgiveness. I love that you talked about the process. Having to "work" to find forgiveness. I am thankful for people like you that are brave enough to share their experiences to help myself and thousands of others.

[@jessicamuro439]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I too have felt the heaviness you speak of and I too went looking for the things you did. I chose to focus on the person rather than the sin. And i found so many more things to be grateful for than not. Not surprisingly i felt the real power do His atonement and it didn’t take very long though it took real work and at times it was a struggle. However, standing in holy places and being in His service while praying for the comfort and strength I needed, as cliche as it sounds to us, is exactly what led me to the promise He gives. My burden was lifted so that I could no longer feel it’s heaviness day to day. Forgiveness is a greater gift to ourselves than to those who need it. Of that I can testify.

[@rebekahmcneely4630]

My dad's dad was arrested for a very similar thing, and my dad was so angry for how it affected his family. It took him 35 years to forgive his father, not just for going to jail and leaving his family destitute, but for abusing them throughout their childhood as well. After 35 years, he has overcome that, and I am so so proud of him.

[@rickbalkonan9306]

Thank you for sharing what is a very personal experience, which resonates with many. Brings to mind Christ's own suffering and humiliation, as he atoned for the countless iniquities of mankind. Consequently, we can always find comfort and forgiveness in Heavenly Father's loving embrace, no matter how far we think we may have fallen.

[@nthonyholden]

These interviews have been so amazing. What a wonderful series. I love what this sister has to say. I think that when God promises us that He will "remember our sins no more" is exactly what this sister described. He chooses not to focus on the bad we've done, but that we were willing to come back to Him to try and make it right.

[@wintersoldier8474]

I have an ex-best friend that I got extremely angry with for sexual misconduct for a while just like your dad. I’m currently working on letting it go. This really helps!

[@frederycdelarosa28]

Thanks for sharing! His grace is enough for everything and everyone.

[@daspicsman]

God says that he loves all of us. That’s sure hard to imagine when you consider the world today. I have been blessed by His grace and charity so many times and yet I still find it difficult to forgive those that have betrayed me. Including my own father. And my father is gone now so reliving the good times as she said have been so helpful.

[@petermccracken2247]

THANK YOU !!! This message came at just the right time !! To remember the good times, WILL help to bring about forgiveness. This message can apply to any family member !!

[@yeshalloween]

The young girl he preyed upon will deal with serious mental strife because of his misconduct.

[@albertangelosison3058]

Enduring to the end include Overcoming insecurities, Overcoming feeling of being betrayed and forsaken.

[@lasimafoa585]

I love Jesus Christ 🙏❤️🙏

[@savannahbrewer6161]

not focusing on the bad is just ignoring it, and some times severing times is the right thing to do. sometimes people are too broken to be safe on this side of the veil.

[@taffylol]

This one really hit home for me as my dad was also arrested. I have yet to take the steps to talk to him beyond fb messages to the family. I'm still working on forgiveness of his betrayal.

[@KarenCacaoo]

Always perfect timing. Wow.

[@zachwells4677]

I’ve struggled severely with my dad growing up. He was very abusive growing up and he should have gone to jail. I’m in college now and rarely ever home. It’s hard to not hate him.

[@Ddd-gr1qp]

Just adding a comment so that the KZbin algorithm shows this video more often.

[@lnwmelon]

Wow. That was really beautiful. Thank you.

[@nwl1749]

Always a hard place to be both as a betrayer and the betrayed. Betrayers feel such extrodinary shame. guilt and regret it is much harder to forgive yourself in such situations but the Atonement works for both. Repentance is always they key. That hole you feel as a betrayer- may never heal in this life without our accompanying compassion and empathy as the betrayed. Imagine how pointless out mortal lives would be without the saving love and grace of our Savior.

[@gloryjohn1135]

His grace only helps us to forgive and forget .

[@nathanbanks2935]

I have a loved one who's life was violently taken away. I choose to forgive this person. It might take time for us to forgive, but if we keep trying, with the help of Jesus Christ, and his gift of grace, we can forgive.

[@edwinkingdre3594]

Forgive others just as christ forgave you!🙏🙏

[@nancyduplessis6623]

Beautiful & inspirational. Thank you for sharing ❤

[@kellioswald4662]

Thank you!

[@puddincakes1005]

Beautiful. Thank you.

[@yellowyosh470]

Thank you so much for sharing 💛

[@lezelgallego9923]

Thank you for sharing your testimony. I really need this at the moment.💕

[@stevenmayer8528]

Thank you for your wonderful message. It helps.

[@SharpLady53]

Beautifully told, Sister. Thank you. 🕊

[@BlueJayBirdSaint]

0:28 literally my face: 😮 4:12 effort brings change of heart. I can testify of that! Endure on that direction if that's what your looking for! You can do it!

[@kennethgourdin3266]

Bless you and your family, Sister Katie. Warm Regards & Best Wishes, -Ken

[@randomeditsontiktok3078]

God is coming soon, be ready, stay safe, and God bless you❤️

[@talie6236]

“We cannot wait for conversion to simply happen to our children. Accidental conversion is not a principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Becoming like our Savior will not happen randomly. Being intentional…”

[@SAMEERWASIM-q3y]

Hallelujah 🙌

[@melissafoster3394]

Awesome...

[@hi.its.gracie]

I like that some people like Jesus one time my friend on roblox said do I believe in God I said yes than she left and I never saw her again.

[@A.Mac.]

1 Nephi 7: 21 "And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness..." If you want to forgive others with a Christ-like capacity, serve their interests in a Christ-like fashion.

[@blatherskyt]

I think of my responsibility to forgive as follows: 1) I have zero, zip, nil authority to judge. That is all Jesus Christ who suffered for our sins, suffering all justice, taking upon him the authority to judge all and be a mediator with the Father 2) If I do not forgive someone a wrong done to me (1st) then I am showing I don't believe in the atonement or Christ's ability to perform his role (2nd) and I'm acting as if I have authority to judge when I have none, when Christ suffered for all of us.. even me. I see through those two truths, and ask myself... how can I be forgiven via the Power of Christ, and his atonement, if I don't believe in either his ability or his power to correctly atone... as layed out by both #1 and #2 above. We should understand this and make this our "own" before we're wronged... so that we never start in a place assuming we have authority to judge or that somehow Jesus Christ won't judge properly or show mercy to us or them properly. Forgiveness of others should happen before someone(s) wrongs us, through our knowledge and faith in Jesus Christ and his power and atonement and authority. If ever truly wronged (and we've all been) I hope it will required me no time at all to forgive by knowing it's not my place to even be judge and desiring executioner.

[@southsidecustom2024]

I kind of thought in the begining why is she the the center as apposed to the victim or her father... but in thinking about it I thought perhaps the friendships I have lost, I could now enjoy if forgiveness was a something they could be open too. I have tried reaching out even years after but I have only been fortunate with only a few positive outcomes

[@colbypark1311]

Thank you for sharing your story and. Ring vulnerable. It helps all of us.

[@elitster]

So great. Thank you for sharing. This is authenticity. So much preferred over the scripted messages

[@kingstonetigeremasona7188]

I have always believed that forgiveness was never an easy thing, and it will never be. When talking of forgiveness many of us take it casually and say it freely that we can forgive others. I believe being able to forgive is a gift. Many of us walk around with hurts and cases against other people in our hearts and we are not even aware of it. There are many people who have stepped upon our toes and we have not forgiven them. Forgiving is an act of unconditional love, it an act beyond what most of us can understand or comprehend. Yes, we ask ourselves...how could the Lord forgive those who were enjoying crucifying Him ? He simply said" Father, Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" Have we ever asked ourselves why we do not take that stance ? Because we do not know the nature of whatever we will be called to forgive. Think of Lehi and Sariah , what their children Laman and Lemuel did to them. How did they respond to it? And this brings me into remembrance of this scripture' The whole duty of man is to Fear the Lord and keep His Commandments."

[@timewarptony]

J.C. Only made you Stronger. Condolences, Lust sucks, we should all forgive with compassion and empathy and learn together to be anti-judgmental, always and forever, God bless!!!

[@preciousandrod]

Like i always say when i have a chance during fast and testimony meetings, just simply forgive and forget, Love your enemies, pray for thos who hurt U, despise U, hate bec its all about being ChristLike the best we can in this short given gift of life..John 3:16

[@videoket]

Thank you for this "real" and meaningful video!

[@fatimabalines7315]

Amazing your stories

[@georgiamartinez4589]

🙏😇

[@JamesCraigWhoop]

Brave and Christ forgives

[@emmanuelciencia321]

Hi grace your my idol

[@JuCarlos-ex8ip]

Forgiveness is the best thing to do

[@AngelicHelper]

The more you fear the Lord,the faster forgiveness will be Matthew 6 15 Matthew 18 35 Mosiah 26 31 D&C 64:10

[@dannerwillis3818]

Thank you for this beautiful message this has helped more than many will understand. Thank you LDS church

[@CameronMClark]

Forgiveness needs to proceed love, but follow the dissolution and disappearance of anger and can only come through the atoning power of our Savior Jesus Christ.

[@asmith7094]

My question is how do you behave around a person in this situation afterwards. Would you bring your kids around them? Your wife?

[@viviennecampbell2058]

That is a good question and I think a very important one. Forgiving someone does not change their actions, it just helps you to heal and not feel anger. Her dad committed a crime and there is no sugar coating it. I can only imagine what her mother must be feeling. What a terrible betrayal to her mother. Can you imagine if your spouse had an affair with an underage teen? The pain would be indescribable.

[@asmith7094]

Update. I asked the Stake President. He told me that your duty is first to your family (to keep them safe) and then to others (people who have transgressions which could, if repeated, make them a danger to you or your family). So help and associate with repentant people, but use caution as well as compassion

[@MegWasHere2011]

Beautiful video

[@Brandon-ew9xx]

forgiveness, (to me) is the ability to not hold a person responsible to make you feel better. I.e. you find a way(which takes time and work) to move on, and feel better without expecting some sort of behavior or change in the person who you feel badly towards. just my two cents.

[@williamweigt7632]

What happened to this family is inexcusable to me. But I’d like, just once, for the LDS Church to tell a story where it’s NOT 100% the man’s fault. My Ex proves that it does happen. But there is NO support for male victims of such behaviors.

[@naofumi5616]

I would love for anyone to tell a story where it's not 100% the man's fault and men get support after becoming a victim. Sadly I do not believe that would ever happen.

[@dsullivan7565]

Amen William!

[@kristybraithwaite499]

I'm sorry that you haven't felt supported in your situation. I know the Savior is aware of you and I hope you can feel His love and strength.

[@wintersoldier8474]

I’m with you, William. I have faced a similar situation with someone I thought was my best friend for 11 years. For the past 5 years, I dealt with that pain too. I’m currently trying to let go to the trauma, but you can’t hold on forever.

[@cariroundy7814]

These stories can be like parables where we put ourselves in the place of the person being betrayed - the genders or circumstances don't have to fit perfectly - the Spirit can touch our hearts if they are soft and open to gain the messages we need in our unique circumstances... I'm so sorry for your pain.. ❤️🙏❤️

[@TheMostPwettyiestPwincess]

This is why you have to be careful who tries to bless you for their personal demons might transfer on you. 🤣🤣🤣

[@timewarptony]

Stay beautiful, sister!

[@publicenemy3355]

💙🔥

[@lauriesmith3443]

The bottom line is turning to the Savior.

[@tasiclinton]

Forgiveness is not a process its instantaneous. That though depending on your level of fellowship with the Holy spirit. If you know anger grieves the Holy spirit, you won't allow unforgiveness damage your heart even for a minute. Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

[@damarisrojas5404]

👍

[@kimberlytousley3450]

❤️

[@Gamer-so7mz]

لااله الاالله محمد سول الله

[@denisearmstrong5887]

I love the message I just wish the music would have been more background and not make it so hard to hear what she was saying.

[@jenniejennie3884]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@Mila-ji7lb]

Can God save someone convicted of treason by the government? Can they be forgiven and go to heaven?

[@stpinky1]

How can we do our own stories on this?

[@hussienalsafi1149]

☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️❤️❤️

[@mimivoilet9276]

Hi

[@tasiclinton]

It doesn't take time to forgive my friends. Its diff with Jesus. You remember the 7 times 7 rule??

[@lucienne4027]

JESUS CHRIST IS COMING. RAPTURE IS NEAR🌈 REPENT FROM YOUR SINS. DON'T BE LEFT BEHIND!!!!!!!

[@REDFANGDALLRED]

:DDD

[@BrotherMercer]

:)

[@emmanuelciencia321]

I am a dis able

[@jdrobinson4865]

Her dad has a lot in common with early church leaders.

[@thom2134]

False

[@goingtothetop55]

Very powerful story and message, especially in today's PC culture, where society has almost completely rid itself of being forgiving and allowing people the opportunity to repent and change.

[@videoket]

I don't think "PC" describes the problem but I agree with the conclusion. We need to learn to forgive more as a society!

[@sabrinaflipse7732]

pc culture only calls out people for wrong doing. it wants to heal and forgive. that's why they call things out. the opposite of pc culture is sweeping things under the rug.

[@hannahpetzinger9309]

I relate you on a very personal level. My story with my father is extremely similar. Thank you for sharing your experience. You are so brave for sharing thank you so much. I needed this

[@kennethbutler8271]

This is a huge problem for me with my siblings after my parents passed away. They treat me like crap and don't want anything to do with me, likewise I have no reason to want anything to do with them. Definitely my problem though, and I have been working on it for years now!

[@jaredhardingwilson]

I can’t imagine how difficult that is for you! I am also very impressed with your healthy response in recognizing the power you have in your choice to respond.

[@someonesfriend8507]

Don't give up. It's worth the effort....even if it takes time.

[@sandraknowles4417]

Kenneth, I'm sorry that you are going through this! Please remember that you are never alone. Your Father in Heaven really knows and loves you. Just don't give up asking the Lord for help and comfort. Your siblings may or may not change but either way, the Lord knows how to comfort and heal your wounds.

[@guardianangel9517]

That's a BEAUTIFUL, COURAGEOUS way to overcome a heartbreaking trial. You have and will continue to grow through this experience. I too have worked through DEVISTATING life altering trials. Years later, I know I've gained empathy for others, a stronger ability to forgive, and more.. THAT'S why we learn to be grateful for trials.. The blessings/strengths we gain are priceless 🥇