Foster parent house tour example with a new foster teen

Here is an example of walking a teen through your home for the first time. Of course, a lot depends on the teen and their needs. Feel free to share your experiences in the comments!

[@stay_gold6316]

i really like that you said “this is where i sleep” instead of “this is MY room”

[@ivamladenova589]

Whats the difference

[@stay_gold6316]

@@ivamladenova589 sends the message to the child that the room is not off limits, meaning they can feel free to enter and have access to her, if they need to

[@KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

Also, makes the child feel less like an outsider. Great idea-little differences are important.

[@inspiredlife6896]

​@@ivamladenova589

[@janetslater129]

I'm not a foster parent, but my thought is that the foster child still does need to know boundaries when it comes to the foster parent(s) bedroom. Like, they can come to their room if they need something, but they need to knock and wait for an answer before going in. The same should also apply to the foster child's bedroom.

[@kate_6436]

I like how you’re giving info on foster parenting without exploiting the experiences of any children your care

[@LARVAMOLT]

super important

[@rokkenrobyn9767]

Legally they aren’t really to be photographed either esp super young

[@curious-oatmeal]

This exactly !!!!

[@ettinakitten5047]

@@rokkenrobyn9767 And for some kids it could be a safety hazard since there might be someone from their old living circumstances who is looking for them and shouldn't find them.

[@ryuudevie7]

Yes! I've never seen any kids in her videos despite all the decorated bedrooms and obvious long term preparations, it's such a relief! She doesn't talk about specific experiences either, she keeps everyone's privacy and safety!

[@KhadijahW.]

I love that you're so chill with them, such as offering to text, knocking on a strangers bedroom door in the middle if the night is intimidating.

[@windybeach2184]

Yes, asking for help can often feel much harder than the actual problem!

[@cloud9beauty]

@@windybeach2184 especially if you come from abuse. We literally got in trouble for asking for things, I remember even getting in trouble for vomiting at night, if I got it on something or needed help. Even waking up my parents would earn their wrath. Watching this stuff soothes me.

[@laurieb3703]

​@@cloud9beauty God, I'm so sorry 😔 I can't even imagine and it enrages me for you

[@gothicGumshoe]

​@@cloud9beauty God yeah, I remember one time I got in trouble because my bedroom at my dad's place was disconnected from the house, and I, an autistic young teen with a fear of the dark stemming from trauma my dad KNEW about, had to walk OUTSIDE in the dark if I needed to use the bathroom at night. One particular night I heard rustling in the bushes and it spooked me badly, I ran into the main house as fast as I could and hid in the bathroom. I stayed there crying for a good 10 minutes. I could hear my dad wake up. He sounded annoyed. I figured that since he was awake anyway I could muster up the courage to ask him to please walk me back to my bedroom. Cue half an hour of screaming about how he has work tomorrow and I'm nothing but a brat and should go back to my mother's if I'm going to behave like this, being a coward at 15 is just unacceptable, I need to man up because I've just ruined his entire work day and it'll screw him up for weeks. I slept on the couch in the cold living room, no blanket or pillows, because I was already terrified and he made it worse. He would also act like this when I had chronic migraine attacks, but I got used to that, so this scenario sticks out. Thanks dad. 👍 So, yeah, I appreciate people like her. I would never even think about knocking on a stranger's bedroom door.

[@jasperwisecarver]

literally this!! allowing them to send a text is so good, I know there were a lot of times when I was a kid spending the night somewhere I was MORTIFIED to go get someone, even if it was really important

[@melissawaugh420]

Every home I stayed in was just a empty room with a bed and a dresser. Posters get ripped and creased after putting them up and take them down so much so.... When I stayed at the ecu I was able to earn an allowance for chores. I saved that money went to the dollar store and got some glass bowls little glass stones and floating candles (because it was the 90's lol) and had a little cloth. It was easy to pack and take to another home, and I was so proud of my little decor set up.

[@faithm9284]

That is such a Sweet thing to do! Whatever we need to do to create some comfort! 🥳 Making something 'portable' was brilliant! We need to have a little bit of heart comfort,..a bit of 'home' to 'travel' with us. 💌

[@highwaydaytime7669]

we must be a similar age as I had that set up too. omg felt so sophisticated with it. But got told off for leaving the candles unattended!

[@sharonzernia6100]

@@highwaydaytime7669 but now as an adult you can understand right? Many house fires come from unattended candles.

[@melissawaugh420]

@@highwaydaytime7669 I never lit mine candles lol, they were covered in a baby blue glitter and I never knew when I'd be able to earn more money again to replace them. But I would wrap them up in my clothes if I was being rehomed so they wouldn't get damaged and I'd have glitter all over everything. I liked that though lol because it reminded me of the shimmer body spray everyone used that I always wanted and could never get lol.

[@highwaydaytime7669]

@@melissawaugh420 I hope you have all the glitter and candles and glitter candles you could ever wish for now. Are you doing ok today in this modern capitalist playground?

[@MsBELLE7]

Holy crap why did that pantry one hit me so hard? "This side is free game, have what you want" damn.

[@HelloL.G.]

Right?! Like wow, there is stuff for me too! Like more food than I can eat right now?

[@MsBELLE7]

@@HelloL.G. I still struggle with food things ..I manage it but it's one of those things you have to realize that the healthy people who fostered us, maybe never realized this was an issue for us....

[@HelloL.G.]

@@MsBELLE7 yeah can relate. I don't think they understood back then it was an issue for us. I remember saving leftover food in the refrigerator with tape on it with my name and please do not eat. Someone else would usually ate eat it within the next 12 hours at least 9 out of 10 times. Everyone would always say things like, "it's just leftovers, it's no big deal" and no one would understand. As a young adult I got my own mini fridge, and now I just make sure I have more than enough so when I share, I will still be able to eat. We can't do anything about our past but we can do our best about what we do now.

[@MsBELLE7]

@@HelloL.G. yeah I would sneak dry foods or buy some at the store when no one would notice and kept it in my bags..... To this day I'm terrible at sharing my snacks, or food in general even with my spouse. I will...just a bit grudgingly... Honestly though I think basic respect of other people's food should be normalized.

[@HelloL.G.]

@@MsBELLE7 I do that too with dried snacks! actually I made about 10 days of pre-made non-perishable grab and go lunch/snack kits for the spouse. that way its always ready to go, and no one has to go without food if we are in a rush. for one bag, I just use a gallon sized ziplock bag, I put in a box or 2 of the tuna and crackers, a bottle of water, granola bars, napkin, and a couple pieces of hard candy. at the very least it makes me feel better lol! I use the large bag because there is space to add prepared food or fruit or something. i also use the phrase "2 is 1, and one is none" so I count two as one, that way I can have one and share one. I know its kinda crazy how much thought I put into this but, it had to be done for some peace of mind.Yes, it would be nice if basic respect for other peoples food was more common, and that is one of the things i like about this channel. she makes healthy relationships seem acceptable, and achievable.

[@wellhi2430]

I can't even imagine how many kids are grateful to have you as a foster mom. My best friend was a foster kid and she told me horrible stories. Luckily she found a mom that was willing to reunite her with her sister and adopt them both. She even took me in for a few months. Human kindness goes so far

[@bishielurfer]

A good foster home really makes a world of difference. I was only briefly in foster care but I stayed with these elderly women who were so kind. It made a really rough time that could have been a terrifying memory something I actually remember fondly despite the circumstances.

[@ttrya1153]

Whoa, thank you in particular for the note about care products in the bathroom. It just brought to my attention how un-intuitive my current placement of those supplies are (in a hallway closet rather than the bathroom itself). I thought that including a note on the wall across from the toilet was enough, but it sure would be nice to have those items within reach while ON the toilet, huh? After some research, I think I’ll be grabbing a lidded trash can too, to replace the old open one. Better for privacy and for cleanliness. Thank you again for constantly opening our minds to new ways to make hard transitions a little less painful and demoralizing. Watching and rewatching your videos are part of my weekly (almost daily) routine, and I’m still learning so much from you and other creators in this space. Much much appreciated, and please have a nice, toasty day!

[@sintara8442]

Personally, even though I was never a foster child I really preferred to have my hygiene products in my own room because somehow I was embarrassed by others knowing when I used some or how much I was using. I can imagine other girls feel like that aswell so just letting you know of that possibility ^^

[@Arkylie]

​@@sintara8442Actually, you never know what kind of upbringing they got -- what the parents taught them, how they reacted to the thought of a period, whether any shame or secret was involved, etc. So that could very well be a big deal to the teen and they might react in any number of ways. Also this makes me wonder about foster parents giving "the talk" and makes me imagine something like those signs in airport bathrooms and doctor's offices like "if you need help, take this strip of paper or do this random thing" and I could see a sign (that would mostly make sense to a kid old enough for this to matter) of "if you need information about this topic then bring to me one of these strips, if it's green I'll give you a full rundown of the details in a frank manner, if it's yellow I'll answer specific questions, and if it's red I'll give you a book you can rest at your own pace with no involvement from me." But then, that might not even be allowed. Which is kinda sad, for kids not given an appropriate education about their own bodies and what to expect from them.

[@Arkylie]

*secrecy and *read at your own pace I'd edit my post but my phone is doing something weird and not letting me edit it normally.

[@MisstressMourtisha]

​​@@Arkylief you post about incriminating information about authority, your phone will do that alot. I speak from experience.

[@katrinascarlet5637]

Depending on counter space you could get those cheap plastic drawers so everyone has a drawer for their brush, ties and products. Or go the tiny bucket route like I did and everyone gets a cute toiletry bucket to hold shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, etc.. Installing a hefty hook inside the shower to hang the current user's bucket would make it convenient so no one has to blindly grapple for their products from behind the shower curtain. You have to get creative if there's a significant amount of humans sharing a bathroom. (I'm not a parent of any kid, I just did this when I lived with my inlaws. There were 6 of us and shower space became a battle.)

[@labambinax33]

as a former foster child, I love how dedicated and caring you are and that you're teaching others to do the same. ❤️

[@shuporangporang.linoss]

I'm getting into a foster home soon cause of abusive parents, I'm kinda scared do you have any tips or something?

[@labambinax33]

@@shuporangporang.linoss it'll be scary but remember to lean on any support systems you may have whether it's siblings or friends families. And always advocate for yourself if you're not treated well. I was very fortunate to be put in great foster homes so I'm praying the same for you ❤️ keep some lines of communication open with friends and family that you feel safe with.

[@jaimecca6259]

@shuporangporang.linoss im sorry to hear! The first night can be the hardest but it’s helpful if you have something to focus on. My focus was graduating high school and going to college to I always had that to look forward to and did everything to prepare for that. Start looking at different benefits you can qualify for and MILK the system as much as possible. Get all the resources you can!

[@deborahcavel-greant6155]

And "welcome to eat in your room if you want". We had kids who hoarded food in their rooms because they were so accustomed to scarcity and really fearful of hunger. We found a Rubbermaid tub with a lid specifically for food was good, and when we shopped the 1st time with them we'd shop to fill that tub with more or less healthy snacks. It helped a lot to allay anxiety. You've got great tips. Our fostering days are over, due to age and health. I really miss fostering, we had 36 children over a 12-year span, some for several years. I miss those kids, some of whom are now grandparents! Boy time flies.

[@Amanda57563]

What a great tip. I learned this as a teacher when I found kids hoarding food in their desks. We have bugs and mice, so that wasn't going to work. I gave them a special place in the room to keep their snacks and no one else was allowed to touch it. ❤

[@ToasteredBread]

You’re literally an angel. Giving kids a good experience is the best thing you can do for the kiddos

[@evelynrose713]

KZbin just asked me to rate your comment lol (i gave it a 😃)

[@ToasteredBread]

@@evelynrose713 oh thanks love!

[@SavageMinnow]

I've been considering taking in foster kids for a long time. I love that you don't shy away from all the hard work that's required, but you show that it can be done with grace and love. You make me feel like this is something I can handle. ❤️❤️❤️

[@janesays1278]

You can do it. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to start :)

[@Lolalaughsx]

You’re an angel. Not only do these lessons apply to fostering kids and teens, but to just how to treat others; with kindness, patience, empathy and respect. It’s beautiful just like yourself and your soul!

[@katto3142]

I need this but from my actual parents, I’m terrified to do anything in my own home without explicit permission first. Can’t eat, shower, clean, cook, go to sleep, watch tv without feeling the need to ask.

[@eldritchteletubby9319]

I grew up in a home like that. I can't give you much advice for your situation right now, but I can tell you that it's not forever. At some point, you're going to be able to do what you want when you want to do it. No one else is going to understand why that brings you so much joy, but you are going to be able to recognize that freedom for the immense privilege it is, and that won't disappear any time soon. Oh, something that did help me was adjusting my sleep schedule to go to bed late. If you tell your parents that you're staying up late working on schoolwork, they might let you if they're anything like my parents. Those 3-4 hours between when my parents would go to bed and when I would go to bed were incredible. I had to be incredibly quiet, but I could at least shower and eat when I wanted to.

[@deborahcavel-greant6155]

I grew up in a home where I was made to feel like an outsider as well. It's hard, but time passes and you do eventually become independent. Just remember the lessons you've been taught if you have children. Don't be that kind of parent. I was denied any kind of love, affection or support growing up so I poured those by the bucket on my own children, and the children we fostered. Stay strong and don't let it break you.

[@christabelle__]

I lived that way too, and I almost let it take my life from me at 17 - you can make it. It's not forever. Find solace in friends, and any time with people who care for you and appreciate you! You CAN do this.

[@lindsayhobbs6536]

Your channel is 100% educational, and it's inspiring! I'm a psych nurse, and the way you speak to the foster kids is indicative of years of experience and some advanced knowledge of psychology and sociology. You're an angel on earth, and the foster system is so blessed to have you!!!

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

Or just a plain ol experienced nurse....or, some who struggled through a traumatic childhood and went through healing.Many possibilities. I agree, the system is blessed to have her - especially since it is a twisted mess.

[@CoCoBang420]

I'm 23 now but I spent 11 years total in fostercare, 47 foster homes. Out of that many homes I had 2 good ones that I stayed longer than a month. I did not have good experiences and endured a lot more abuse than I did at home. I started to runaway constantly from fosterhomes and group homes because I was so terrified of everyone. Feeling alone and scared for so long was devastating for me. I had the mindset that being homeless and sleeping outside was safer than a strangers home. I never finished 9th grade because I was never at a school long enough to get any credit. I aged out of fostercare with nothing but a suitcase and the will to survive. I'm now a stay at home mom of 3 boys and have never been more grateful to have a stable home.

[@ksbrook1430]

That you have risen above the negative in your life is so admirable. I wish you and your family the best.

[@MNW0705]

Thank God you made it through that terrible time. You now have something that you can share with others that is absolutely invaluable. I bet you're a great mom.

[@mvinson8706]

Ill never forget it. I came to my foster parents now permanent parents home on Halloween day. My dad took me shopping for a costume to go trick or treating. I came from a strick religious house before and they didnt believe in celebrating halloween even tho i loved it. Ill never forget it how hard he fought to keep me. God rest his soul ❤

[@victoriap1649]

Wow this is so amazing. The pantries were always locked at the foster home my older cousin lived in growing up. It always felt wrong to me but I felt I couldn’t judge, cuz I’d never been a foster parent. It feels really nice to see this though 💞

[@sianmilne4879]

Yeah, seems really unnecessary and distrustful of your kids unless there's an actual reason like food allergies in a young kid or sm...

[@coquigirl0789]

I can’t really speak on the actual reasons but it might be because unfortunately some foster children are prone to stealing food because they aren’t used to food stability. It’s a sad situation 😢

[@beepboop7090]

@@coquigirl0789 but it’s not stealing food when it’s children you are taking care of. They live in that house.

[@coquigirl0789]

@@beepboop7090 I’m not saying this is the right thing to do, I’m just saying that it might be an explanation for why someone would lock food away.

[@HeatherRHall]

sometimes it's for the health of the child. Unfortunately, some kids will binge eat until they throw up and then continue to eat/throw up. The one I know of is given two large helpings at each meal and several snacks throughout the day, but they have to close down the kitchen for the health of the child. They are in counseling for it and working through it gently.

[@shermikkamonroe3533]

This is what us foster kids need more of. I went thru hell and back in foster kid and no one was nearly as understanding or loving as this woman is she need an award or something 🎉

[@PuffleFuzz]

My dad just got a foster placement Wednesday. First one in 6 years. He didn’t even tell me he got back into fostering. The introduction pretty much went like this. And I kept the kid occupied while my dad was talking with the SW. He’s a young teenager, so it was pretty fun getting back into ROBLOX and fortnite

[@hereiamaliveyetagain]

She makes me want to foster since I don't want kids of my own, but to help. But I also realize that I need to be there mentally and physically. And be a safe space for them. I'd have to work on myself

[@sanastratus3998]

I really like that there’s nothing in the room except space for them. I’ve lived in so many places where the closets and storage are packed with other people’s things and it always made me feel like the space wasn’t my own. Having a whole room that’s just for you can make a huge difference.

[@enia3898]

it's so great that you show what it means to be a foster parents and how it's your job keep the child/teen safe. you're so amazing keep doing these great videos

[@feliciafee4200]

I wish all children were lucky enough to get someone like you to be with while they're away from their parents. Sadly this isn't the case for so many but I'm so glad there are some people like u in this world. You're like a guardian angel, a beautiful person with a beautiful heart. Thank u so much for what u do.

[@terrabreen3622]

As a foster child this channel is so relevant Amazing ty

[@inheritmyshoes9559]

I would have given a ton to have a foster experience like this as a teen. Thank you a million for what you do

[@4luv2cuppycake0]

I can't imagine if my own mother even cares this much about me.

[@jessicawelch8809]

I am so sorry ❤️❤️❤️

[@labambinax33]

You're important and you matter ❤️ even if others don't seen to acknowledge it, it's important that you know it 🙏

[@missmaia6839]

as someone who’s sister has been in foster care/homes, and who themselves had to stay in different peoples homes without my parents, these mean a lot to me. i hope your tips and guidance continues to spread❤

[@chronicallykelly7193]

I'm so glad you decided to do these. I know I am not strong enough to do it ... But Lord, do I have respect and am so thankful for those like you, that are. 💕

[@jessicadobrowolski7965]

I absolutely love how you are showing others on how to be the best foster parent for kids of all ages. You are an amazing role model for all and your love shines through. Honestly I think the Foster Care program should use your videos as tutorials for people wanting to foster. Keep up ur amazing work ❤

[@user-dy3oh7ys1m]

Youre just a very caring person and letting people know that you care about their feelings really helps them feel more comfortable. I bet you've had many kids who didn't want to leave.

[@Tryvise25]

It's always bizarre to me when you can feel the fact someone is a good, kind hearted person by them just talking in a video. A lot of times it's few and far between but when it happens, it just warms your heart ❤️ keep up the good work babe

[@Lummmlee]

Kinda want to cry when I see this because it’s perfect. My experiences were not as accommodating. The offer to order food wasn’t really a thing for me growing up unless you wanted pizza tho

[@MrsMAS]

My husband & I plan to start fostering in 2 years (When we're 40). I LOVE THIS CONTENT

[@psychedelicpegasus7587]

I really like that you said that you can get them the kind of period products they like. My partner works in a service that houses kids in residential care. They had a trans boy in their care and he was able to choose products that didn't have gendered colours or language on the packaging. My partner also sometimes wears sneakers with pride colours. The design is very subtle but it indicates that he is a safe person to talk with, or to go to for support. It's like a mobile version of your LGBT+ fridge magnets.

[@KnitCrochetTarotLady]

I survived an overdose in 2020, and my husband died last year of Covid…. It makes me cry in joy to know that there’s foster moms out there like you❤️ thank you for everything you do ❤️

[@ksbrook1430]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you have found others to love and support you at this time.

[@BetterThenIncredible]

I liked being treated with respect from the many people to adopt me and as a new family member its hard to ask "are you gonna keep this act up or can I trust you not to change" like your a kid and thankful to be somewhere bright and warm and clean. Hardly worried about the longterm naturally. Now that I've grown up to be a man with a family of my own I can see how unfair it all is. So I'm glad you all take the time to build awareness and compassion

[@pamelabaker3029]

Would you adopt me I’m 62 years old lady. Lol the world needs more like you

[@loeandbehold4808]

I swear your videos heal my inner child. To know there adults who help kids who are struggling that put so much thought and care to help them, especially in relatuon to mental or behavioral problems... it just warms my heart. Your videos bring me so much joy and hope, thank you for what you do

[@Christinaifbbpro]

i cannot have my own kids because of severe stage 4 endometriosis. and your videos give me so much joy and hope for my future. i want to be a foster mom one day

[@outofsignal8620]

This really makes me want to be a foster parent!

[@nyxskids]

OMG I wish all my foster parents had been like you! Not just mine when I was a kid but when I worked in CPS, good foster parents were far too rare. Having to take children away from abusive environments and my only options on where to place them were just less abusive, broke my heart all the time. I worked really hard to keep families together or reunite them, but I burned out from working in CPS after 10 years. Granted I simultaneously work a second job with the severely mentally ill, and remained in that field for another 10 years, retiring only after the wounds I got in a CPS related shootout between cops and the family (and their associates) while protecting my kiddo clients with my body finally caught up to me. Mobility issues + PTSD + organ damage made me useless. I'm dying now. My lungs are going to completely fail within 6 months and a transplant is impossible. Seeing a foster parent so competent and caring, sharing their wisdom like this gives me hope for the future. Thank you, so much

[@HelloL.G.]

Thank you for caring so much and doing your best to help those kids. I don't know what I could do to help you other than pray for the best for you.

[@tanyasutherland5814]

Ugh, I had to ask my foster parent for every little thing, and most things she didn’t even have available, I had to wait a week with only 2 changes of clothes (during school) for funds. She’d only give me a tampon at a time, and then she even approached me and said I was using too much tp to roll them (like, what!!). I wasn’t allowed to grab snacks ever, I don’t even know what the cupboard or fridge looked like. She wouldn’t even let me get my plate out of the microwave. Same thing with laundry, I was never able to go into the basement to do my own. I was 13 and very independent by then, so it was super weird for me. She also forced me to go for walks with her everyday. She never once let me choose the channel for TV, so I just stayed in my room whenever I could. Luckily that time was only a month or so, then I was able to go with my grandma!

[@takashiz-1731]

Gosh she sounds awful, but I’m glad you were able to be with your grandmother though 💜

[@shawty_isa_melodyroe9041]

Your videos are EXTREMELY helpful, I am now looking into foster care and have so many questions!

[@akashajoti6456]

You are such a kind soul! Thank you for these videos!

[@Ju1ietable]

I love this. Thank you for modeling how we should treat this specific population. It really matters. 💐

[@doglover810]

thank u so much for your content. I'm only 16 but when i get old enough I definitely want to foster. and your videos are very useful and helpf

[@nicolle2126]

i appreciate the subtle difference with wording and attitude when it comes to handling teens vs kids

[@anjaashdown6940]

What a walk of faith from both perspectives. Thank you for the respect you show these kids, both as an offering, and as an example. Blessings.

[@chaislaw5014]

ppl underestimated the importance of a free food cupboard... when a kid is used to taking care of themselves or not having anything in....it can be overwhelming when faced with options...having a free food cupboard where they can choose what goes in it and can help themselves whenever is really important .

[@hhgreene]

This is all so helpful and normalizing.

[@alizen987]

You can tell she's sincere. Super educational and empathetic. There needs to be more people like her.

[@MidwesternMan420]

This is much better than I got… an old ass flat mattress with no pillows nor a blanket. Door was able to be shut but everyone barged in randomly anyways. Ugh im glad there’s people like you out there!

[@cinninatisinners]

Thank you for making these videos

[@chazeustice5312]

The FOOD. And the parent actually caring what you wanted to eat 👏

[@LittlePastaPeeps]

I was an adoptee from birth, they never hid it from me, and my dad let me pick which bathroom i wanted to take a bath in every single time. The parent bed was high off the ground so he custom made me stairs for his side, and even though they made sure even though i had a different "belly mom" but he was always his dad and he loved me. He took me to see the world through our church mission trips. It was similar to your treatment for foster kids so hearing people do the same treatment to kids who may not be forever kids makes me cry.

[@roandooley6274]

Your videos always get me tearing up. Me and all my siblings got removed from my mom's house when we were kids and ended up in different homes. From a kids perspective, feeling lost, confused, hurt, and unsure of everything- this was how I wish things had gone for us.

[@jamieforeman6248]

I think you are awesome. What a blessing. You are changing lives.

[@telliex]

I wish foster parents were like this when I was a preteen too...I think it would have made me a lot more comfortable

[@cranberry420]

I love the "my phone is always on" My mom used to do that when I was younger, since I often got really anxious close to the bedtime, and/or get panic attacks during the night. It also helps with people like me, who are too afraid to wake anyone up, but are able to send a text

[@frenchy8th]

My husband and I got emergency custody of my teen stepchild a few years ago after we discovered that their mom had been abusive. Though I was already an experienced mom and stepmom, I had no idea how to handle living with and raising a teenager who had been through awful trauma. Your advice inspires me, and I found that all of it rings true, even though we didn’t do foster care. Three years later, everything is great, but that first year was extremely difficult and delicate. Thank you for giving so many families the knowledge and care they need!

[@chloemonet]

This is so helpful I want to do this when I get older ❤❤

[@linagregori5186]

My neighbor is a foster mom. I got invited to go prom dress shopping with her 3 foster daughters this year! I bought their shoes and took them to have mani/pedis, and then after lunch we ALL got our hair done!

[@anacoanagoldenflower]

Thank you SO so much for doing ones for teens! My girlfriend and I want to specifically be a therapeutic foster home for teenagers once we're in a stable enough place; whenever we say that we just get told (mostly by non-foster parents, mind you) that it'll be terrible and they're the worst and then get told some horror story that's most likely an urban legend. So thank you for being practical and compassionate and making these!

[@aprilfrase5099]

Thank you. Just….thanks ❤

[@possumsmoke]

as someone trying to help out a teen alter and a child alter (osdd system) who dont always know how they need help or what would make things easier, these videos are SO helpful. while it is a very different thing, they are just kids when it comes down to it, and kids that are hurting in very similar ways as you describe. thank you for making theses, theyre helping more communities than one

[@Kindmelllie1]

So smart and kind and inspiring. You are my new hero.

[@Nearlynotworried]

Your so kind and caring to all children, it makes me so happy when I see children being treated like they are an actual person to! I would have loved someone treating me like this when I was young, I bet it rlly helps them feel better in these situations ☺️

[@nikkidenny8947]

All of these ideas are so good and necessary for foster children of different ages to feel safe. They’ve been through everything

[@leesahs339]

Thank you for being so amazing, the kids that stay with you will feel love and security. It's great that you're out there giving these kids what they need. I hope that one day I can offer that to someone too.

[@Amber-Mae]

You're the foster mom I didn't know I needed ❤️

[@robinhughes8530]

Kids have to be so scared to go to different houses. 😢 thank you for being such a good person ❤

[@user-cp2el5hl7k]

By helping foster parents, you are changing foster kids lives. God bless you.❤ Great videos

[@bethusery6076]

Every time I watch one of these videos it warms my heart. Thank you so much for what you do.

[@angelahartman3272]

You are obviously an amazing human and it's a shame there aren't more people like you. Thank you for stepping up and helping those who so desperately need you.💕💕💕

[@philmccracken2534]

I’m not a foster parent but her videos are so comforting and make me feel cared for. I know that any kid who gets places with her feels safe and cared for. I wish all parents were like this.

[@teri7107]

You are absolutely PRECIOUS.Brought tears to my eyes having been a ward of the state 30 yrs ago and how cold and scary it was. NONE of that was offered or available. Love it

[@beccagreenleaf2345]

I don't know how many kids and families you have helped, but thank you. & know what you do from them stays with them for life. You are amazing.

[@notscripted5753]

These videos are so comforting. I've never gone through anything similar to foster care, but it makes me feel safe.

[@WildWinterberry]

I wasn't neglected as a child but I never got a choice of anything. It was very much you get what you're given. When you said about ordering food I was like 🥺 such seemingly insignificant things can really change someone's life. I wish I could go back to being a teen and have a kind adult ask if I'm hungry and what would I like, because I never learned how to respond. I can't imagine how much you've shaped these kids by showing them love

[@casechow]

I've never been a foster kid but watching/listening to this suddenly made me so calm.

[@AGM-ts5bb]

How heavenly it must be to go from chaos to a peaceful home with food, toiletries and order.

[@carriezilla981]

bless you dear woman

[@DOROTHY_MCGUIRESON]

Seriously, you should teach classes to new foster parents. I'm sure that would help that broken system loads. Thank you🙏

[@FinleyNorberg]

As a foster sister my sister was very uncomfortable around my stepfather and he and my mum didn't so much to make her feel comfortable so I did most of this stuff to help her after watching her videos and now she's the best sister and we love each other so much.

[@jamiesmith5728]

I really hope u are like this in real life with your fosters! I have loved every one of your videos and think it's amazing to show to people. And ur fosters are blessed to have a fp like you ♥

[@greetingsfellowtraveller]

Even though i'm not a foster child, I felt so warmed and comforted by her. Thank you for doing this.

[@vampyalyssa7972]

This is the only person I’ve seen online whose comments are almost entirely wholesome and positive, you give me hope that I could be a parent one day and obviously inspire and soothe so many others too.

[@WhitneyWhitneyS]

You make it look so easy. I hope I can help people like you someday

[@LaLaLa187]

This made me want to cry. As a previous teen foster kid, I wish I had this level of care.

[@Angiebee.]

I wasn’t in the foster care system but you me feel super safe

[@Mrs.AD0099]

I love you so much..knowing you're doing this work makes my heart sorta heal if that makes sense.

[@courtneyhowarth4869]

I love these videos. I have thought fostering would be something I can do once my home is set up better

[@Renofirefly30]

Can you do videos on how to respond to a difficult behavioral issue?

[@rebekahjimenez2808]

I've been wondering about that part myself.

[@moeball740]

Not an authority, can only speak on my own experience with a foster teen. Background: child came from a home with an abusive father, we'll leave it at that. So they feared male authority figures which made it difficult to establish trust and bonding between us. Certain behaviors came from this - they essentially had PTSD just from growing up in their own home, which no child should have to go through. They would freeze up and become uncommunicative sometimes. We made sure they had a lockable door on their room so they could have some privacy and my wife and I would always knock before entering. This was necessary as apparently their father had a habit of barging in on them. But sometimes they would disappear into their room for hours and they wouldn't even respond to knocks; never knew if it was due to sleeping or whatever so it would take multiple texts to their phone to even know if they were alive. Mood swings all over the place. Had several therapists for them to see as it was clear they had a lot of trauma issues; unfortunately they didn't really click with the therapists so we kept searching. At least the issues my wife and I were dealing with weren't the biggies some parents have to deal with. When we had finally made some strides on overcoming trust issues, the child began to relax around us a little more. In fact I made the teen laugh one time when I said "you aren't doing drugs, you don't steal things, you're not in a cult or gang or getting pregnant or any STI. These were the things I was told to worry about with teenagers. What's wrong with you?" They thought that was pretty funny!

[@faye7743]

Ive been watching your videos for a while, and Ive seen nearly everywhere else purely negative things about foster care, and its been scaring me. I'm a teenager personally, and my parents are rather abusive, but ive only just mentioned it to anyone. A lady at school's gonna come and talk to me more about it, but considering everything that my parents have done, I'm likely going to be put in one of those shelters or in foster care. Your videos have been really good for me, because it makes the whole thing feel less scary, because the reason ive never talked about what my parents do before is because theyve raised me to be petrified of stuff like foster care and shelters. Im still terrified, but these videos make it feel like foster care wont be as scary as ive been told, so thank you

[@SnoozeAddict]

You are a Saint. ❤️

[@nicolevahai5982]

I love your approach and your voice is so soothing

[@ashleystidham1952]

You have a very demanding,overwhelming,tough as nails life. But it’s also quite beautiful (your spirit, character, candor,and integrity) and sometimes very painful and challenging when you have to say goodbye to those very special ones that you bonded with. It’s emotional and you are allowing us the opportunity to see how the system itself works and what a real example of how to interact with a fostered child Looks like And how rewarding your sacrifices are. You are changing lives and setting a standard for all fosters out there. So, I’d like to thank you 😅for your service and tell you that you’re in my prayers and that I have so much respect for you. Have a very blessed week and please keep the content coming!! Thanx, Xo

[@angelam3517]

You're so lovely and caring and genuine. Thank you for caring for these teens.

[@bettybakebake]

You are up on my hero list. Steve wilkos is still my number 1 hero for regular people but you are number 2. There is no number 3 and you are the first number 2 I've ever had. Well the guy who swam to the fist fight will always bring me to tears and my heart is just full for all of you. You just can't imagine how much good you are doing in the world.

[@widadalemam8375]

This woman seems so nice and caring and very thoughtful omg the children placed with her are very lucky💕 most foster families are the opposite of her