Friends Gets Therapized - Chandler Tries To Bond With Monica’s Dad

Friends Gets Therapized - Chandler Tries To Bond With Monica’s Dad //
You're trying to make a good impression on your partner's parents. How do you go about that, and how do you not? This is "Friends Gets Therapized," where I'm going through the show and I'm responding to the things that I'm seeing. So in this video, we're going to talk about Chandler who is trying to bond with Monica's dad because he and Monica are a thing. And we'll see how it goes.
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• Friends Gets Therapize...

[@trinaq]

I love how Jack was the most understanding parent between the Gellar parents. Unlike Judy, his favouritism of Ross over Monica doesn't appear to be malicious, just unknowingly insensitive, and he's instantly horrified when he learns that Monica's childhood mementos were carelessly destroyed, giving her his Porsche to atone for it.

[@greatgyatso5429]

Judy was just abusive

[@maggie198333]

Judy is horrible towards Monica since forever. Judy is a horrible woman.

[@watosoguerra]

Judy was just reproducing how her mother raised her. Go to therapy people XD

[@trinaq]

Please analyse Monica and her relationship with her mother Judy, with how Monica is constantly in Ross' shadow. Judy is oblivious to the fact that her own mother always criticised her while growing up, in the same way that she treats Monica. Luckily, as Monica is aware of this toxicity, it's implied that she'll break the cycle with her own children.

[@okoala62]

I’d love that analysis; their relationship always bummed me out ☹️

[@thefuckisgoingon]

How are you everywhere

[@yb9964]

The scene where he comforts Monica after she broke up with Richard was adorable to me, he said exactly what he knew she’d like to hear, held her, let her nap comfortably, and most of all : didn’t hold it against her or lecture her about the relationship, regardless of how much he disapproved of it.

[@sarahn.h355]

It wasn’t hard to win over my in laws when they first met me. I wasn’t kissing up to them either. They saw how I spoke and treated their son and they called him an idiot for not asking me to marry him. My mother in laws words, “Son, why don’t you marry that girl?! You can tell she’s in love with you!” He had joined the military- blah blah blah, things didn’t work until we wanted to make them work. His mother blurted out “about da*m time!” When he told her we were getting married. Married for six years.

[@18Hongo]

See, I won over my GF's parents because her cousins had set such low standards that I looked pretty good by comparison. Once they found out I wasn't a drug dealer or a casual criminal, the fact that I was unemployed and broke didn't seem so bad. I should point out that I have since found work and done pretty well; my failure to knock her up and then leave her has also made me look pretty good. Her cousins have had some truly terrible boyfriends.

[@BlackRoze29]

I flooded my father in law's kitchen and swore repeatedly (because the kitchen was flooding and it was my fault) within 25 minutes of meeting him for the first time when I started dating my husband. When we left he texted my husband to not "mess it up with that one."

[@BenSwagnerd]

Oddly enough, I think the thing that made my in-laws accept me was standing up to them - at least my father in law. I am a transgender man and an atheist married to a cisgender agnostic man, and his parents are evangelical Christians. My husband's mom always has tried her best with me, and seems to adore me just because she can tell that my husband and I adore each other. But my father in law? Sent me a letter that basically said "if you aren't going to go away the least you could do is be a wife and mother because we want grandkids." My therapist and I worked on my reply together, but it basically matter-of-factly said "I am a trans man. That isn't going to change. And your son wants kids even less than I do, so you are really barking up the wrong tree. By the way, we've been married since July. And you already have grandkids, so go hang out with them." He has accepted me ever since. At least, in his way. I am really grateful.

[@raquelmarcalsantos]

This is a really nice comment section, so I’m gonna add my story too: My in-laws are just the best. They’ve basically treated me like royalty since my first time in their house. They set up the best room in the house for us (the biggest one, with an en-suite bathroom equipped with a jacuzzi) and even left soft clean MATCHING towels on the bed. I felt like I was staying at a hotel! And this is standard behavior every time I go there (with or without my partner). I can’t imagine ever having greater in-laws, and one of the hardest parts of our ongoing (very amiable) separation is actually the fact that they won't be my in-laws anymore. :/

[@friendlyneighbourhoodbridg1354]

Monica and Chandler are one of the best representations of a healthy romantic relationship in modern media - change my mind

[@marthadarmanin8213]

Monica belittled Chandler very frequently, saying how he is out of her league, especially when other people pointed it out (although it was not true). She also goes on about how she is the best one in the relationship. Chandler balances her out but she is not nice to him sometimes.

[@elvira4702]

Hey! Hope it`s okay if I (also) share my experience. Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost three years, and was fully committed to each other, but I actually never met his parents(except one time very briefly). The reasons behind this were cultural and religious differences between me and his family. They didn`t want him to be together with me because I wasnt "meant" for him. They had arranged another girl for him to marry, a girl which came from the same country as them, and was fully committed to their religion. My ex boyfriend refused to marry this girl, and got kicked out of the house. His mother warned him, and said she would commit suicide if he decided to keep dating me. He would also not be allowed to meet his younger siblings anymore, or stay in touch with anyone in his family. We ended the relationship after a lot of drama. Im single today, but the thought of meeting the parents of someone im dating scares me. Anyways, really enjoy learning from your videos.:)

[@VentiChristopher]

I was having a hard time connecting with my (now wife’s) family. I cooked them a big spaghetti and meatball dinner, and they turned around soon after!

[@luciv1582]

I'd love an episode about the relationship between Lorelai and Emily Gilmore

[@SaraxAdam]

broke my keyboard smashing the like button

[@alyssabrown-carleton6173]

My in laws are amazing people. They welcome everyone with open arms. I hope I'm that way when my kids have relationships. They shouldn't have to win me over, just be a nice person

[@Jemini4228]

I can't stand the elder Gellers. Putting whiny golden boy Ross on a pedestal and making Monica feel like an afterthought the entire time. I might be overly sensitive but it doesn't even feel like comedy to me at certain points. The fact they didn't care enough about her childhood mementos to prevent them being destroyed but Ross basically has his adolescent bedroom preserved as a shrine is really frigging sad.

[@KimRayGina]

My parents don’t like my brothers girlfriend, (they’re both around the age of 23) she was on a mentally terrible state, she had heavy depressions and panic attacks, she tried to work as a kindergarten teacher but she couldn’t do it. She lives at her parents because she really wasn’t okay. She’s on her way to get better she did huge steps but they just can’t understand her. Mom said she doesn’t care what she’s doing for living, she just wants her do do something. She’s so much better now I can’t wait for the day she’s actually working or studying and my parents start to like her. Idk why I just told you this but I felt like it 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@emmacalligaro4072]

Hi, really appreciate your content could you please make a video about EMDR therapy? It would be really interesting to hear your thoughts about it

[@davidjackson6475]

You should totally do a video on “Meet the Parents/Fockers” either here or on Cinema Therapy. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.

[@marjolijnzuidema1475]

Well, my boyfriend and I are not married (yet) but his mom already refers to herself as my mother-in-law, so I think we're good :p

[@kelliehorn1082]

For me, I was the one being totally won over by the in-laws. I really like those guys, and I feel so lucky about it.

[@teesh871]

I dunno if anyone else had this experience...but I was 16 when I got together with my partner (we are 35 now). He moved to my state to be with me. His mother...did NOT like me. Still doesn't (actually maybe she does...as much as she can like someone with her son) . It was ultimately his decision and he came here to get opportunities as well and we have built a life together. House, 2 kids etc. Anyway when he moved...it was constant phone calls to him, she didn't want to know or acknowledge his life down here, she just spoke to him at length about her life and just refused to acknowledge his. This went on for a few years until we had to cut contact. It got too toxic. So in amongst this mess my partner got back into contact with his dad who he hadn't seen since he was 8. There was a whole other story there but he is lovely. I am very much editing this story right down because it's been almost 18 years but I think I was briefly upset about her not liking me....but she refused to speak to me so I'm like '...well she doesn't know me well enough to not like me so whatever.' When I met my partners dad we met him kinda together and built a relationship together...and I was just myself. That worked fine. At the moment...we do have contact with his mum now. Because we had kids and felt we had to tell her that. Needless to say even thiugh she's in a different state I've learnt an awful lot about standing my ground with boundaries.

[@fleetskipper1810]

Your story is my story. It took me years to figure out what was going on for sure, but I have now. My mother-in-law is a malignant narcissist. She’s the first one I ever met, so her self centeredness, aggression toward me, and self absorbed behavior mystified me for years. I couldn’t understand where it was coming from. It comes from her personality disorder. We have cut contact. Married almost 40 years now, but it was touch and go at first because of her. She managed to destroy the marriages of her two other adult sons, but we have kept our Centech play, having only the most superficial of relationships with her. It makes me angry that I missed out on a relationship with a normal mother-in-law, but it is what it is.

[@LuaThomF]

I once had a boyfriend who's Mother was Named Betty and her Father was Albert. When I met Al for the first time I shook his hand and said " So, you can call her Betty and Betty when you call him can you call him Al?" I thought I was a comedy genius. They looked viscerally angry with me 😅

[@willshelton8392]

Genius!!! Love this!!!

[@ladymeldiriel9486]

I have to admit, my parents were pretty good in this sort of scenario. They were pretty open minded when they met my partner, they invited him round for dinner and just talked with him to get to know him. I have to admit, I had to interject a couple of times to try and pull his foot out of his mouth but ultimately, he was just himself around them and they respected that and were the same right back. Even at times where they weren't completely sure of what to make of him, they at least put their faith in the fact that I knew what I wanted and that I had already accepted him and they loved and respected me enough to honour that.

[@juliakiser3356]

Being older has advantages when it comes to in-laws, and lots of other stuff, too. I just try to be as gracious as I can and patient, but I just don't like my boyfriend's elderly parents. We have completely different lifestyles. I have made it well known to him (privately) that I don't want to, or need to, be present for every single visit he has with his folks. Liberating for me and for him because he knows visits with them makes me tense and anxious. He doesn't "like" them either-- familial obligations. They just aren't people I would chose to spend time with IRL. My own parents are long dead. Yay, me!! 😄

[@sarawhite5448]

My husband and I were married five months after we met, and 12 days before he deployed to Afghanistan. I met my mother-in-law about 15 minutes before I walked down the aisle. While he was deployed; I spent a week with his parents and brother in their home town. I think I won them over by being myself, fiercely loving their son, and always telling them how grateful I am for him.

[@wendychavez5348]

I learned how to make hummus. I never actually met my ex-husband's parents, and only he and his father really spoke English, and I still don't speak Arabic. He got his mother on speakerphone, she gave the recipe for making hummus from boiling the garbanzo beans, and he translated. It was an interesting experience, and I do think we impressed each other.

[@bramsey2626]

I think it's limiting to say that time will heal all wounds when it comes to biases. Sometimes parents are wrong and that's ok to admit as well.

[@lucynewlin807]

It took at least five years for my mother-in-law to figure out that I was there for the long haul.

[@alexandriacosta2229]

I hope in my next relationship that my boyfriend has a mother who wants to see her son happy independent of her. I think you could make a whole video on this topic, but I had never experienced this before, so I did research and found it was overwhelmingly common. His mother was so threatened by me, but the worst part was my ex never stood up for me and would let his mom get away with everything. The only time he'd act like it bothered him was when it became public. For example, one of his good friends came to us and said "your mom literally comes up to me every time she sees me and tells me I need to convince you to break up with her, and I just wanted to let you know that was happening" because his friends all liked me and didn't like his mom. Because his friend said it in front of people, my ex acted livid but he never even said anything to his mom. I once broke down and said it really upset me that he let her act like this to me and he actually got mad at ME saying that girlfriends are supposed to like their boyfriend's moms and it bothered him that I didn't. It was insane. I remember asking how it was fair that I'm always cordial to her despite everything but because he knew I didn't like her he could even begin to blame ME when it's because of how SHE acted and he literally said "I know that it's her fault but that's my mom I still feel like you should like her"

[@swatisaini6447]

Good riddance! Seems he didn't care about you. It's exactly my nightmare too, Don't wanna be stuck with a mama's boy

[@vulcanhumor]

I'm so sorry about what you went through. My mother went through something similar with her first relationship and warned me about that sort of thing. I'm extremely grateful that my partner recognizes that some of his mother's behavior is really inappropriate and will actually take my side when she says or does something. We've been together for going on six years now, so she's mostly gotten used to me, but my partner has straight up said in the past that he thinks his mother feels threatened by me. I hope if I ever have a son I won't feel like my precious baby boy is being stolen from me when he starts to move forward with someone.

[@acelovesdiyschristopher7023]

That last line u said really spoke to me. I haven't had this experience yet but in regards to my father excusing my mom's behavior to me all the time that line just summed it up. Thanks.

[@anaarias1993]

My ex in-laws hated me but then with time they loved me and treated me like a daughter. His only sibling was a sister and she’s like a sister to me to this day. We separated about 5 years ago and he now has a gf who is horrible and constantly say they love me and are so grateful for the mom I am and to let them be in my sons life. Which is very different with the new daughter in law. If you’re truly a good person and have good intentions they will see it.

[@EBWgreen]

Looking back now after being in a relationship for nine years, it was stupid to be so intimidated by my in laws. Wanting them to like you. You get to know them, and they you, and then both parties decide how they feel about each other. You can't decide how the other person would like you. Or even how you will feel about them in the long run. I wasn't Christian, ever, so my mother-in-law never liked me. Would never. Got worse, still, when my husband stopped being Christian. Blaming me for it. (Plus she's a garbage person so I don't want to be around her anyway) And my father-in-law is kind. He's a good man and we get along, but I know he tolerates me at best. Just be yourself.

[@not_botheredd9893]

If possible, could you look at Love Is Blind season 3. Many people have different thoughts on the couples this season but im very interested to see your thoughts on it (specifically on Bartise and Cole)

[@zaraandrews600]

I remember meeting my ex-boyfriend's mother after dating him for 6 months. I was originally pretty chill about meeting her, but then my ex told me that she hated me. She complained that I was a slut, had mental health issues, I was purposely trying to take her son away from her etc. (I can't really remember what else she said) and that was within 24 hours of meeting her for what was meant to be a 7 day visit. I left her place on the third day because it was going so poorly. Well, technically I was going to leave the fourth day, but she said if I wanted to leave then she wanted me gone right then. My ex never understood why I was so upset by it all. I had literally gone to another country to meet her, yes they might have spoken English there, and I thankfully had family that lived in that country, but it was still scary.

[@sass625]

Hi I love your videos I was wondering if you could therapies Alison DiLaurentis or the Hastings family from Pretty Little Liars

[@ayagodes5618]

I think my case is more complicated than this. My ex-husband's family is pretty much abusive, so in a way they decided to abuse me to make sure he doesn't... I don't know choose me over them? or find a different support in his life than them? They worked really hard to get us divorced, and he's not a very strong or stable person, so he gave in really quick and that broke our family. It was very important to lesson for me about how far I'll go to impress or to satisfy people that are close to the people that I care about, and I do much less effort right now, and I don't go overboard to impress people. And I know that it means that sometimes they _won't_ like me, but I also think that average kind-of modest person will appreciate some efforts and not a person completely sacrificed themselves just to make them a bit impressed or happy. And lucky for me, I don't get this hostile treatment from most parents, and most parents actually really like me. Because I'm a decent person, and I'm a good partner and they can appreciate that without me doing too much and acting too weird to impress them.

[@fleetskipper1810]

Sounds like that their behavior says a lot about them, and nothing about you.😢

[@ayagodes5618]

@@fleetskipper1810 I truely believe you are right. It has been about to decade and they are still hostile, and pushy and mean at times, they even dare blaming me for his life falling apart after _he_ left me. Some people just don't know peace.

[@1Melaya1]

All the parents of my exes hated me. if not both at least one did ._.

[@amrithapk4432]

Please make a video on the movie The Lost Daughter

[@OldTelivisionRocks]

This is a really short video. Maybe should have included more clips of Monica interacting with her dad?

[@jeditalez]

Needed advice atm lol My ldr bf mom doesn't like me and I have zero idea as to why!

[@fleetskipper1810]

If that’s the case, it sounds like it’s more about her and not about you. I had the same experience.

[@jeditalez]

@@fleetskipper1810 yeah...thank you! Good luck too you as well

[@shelleymaclean6057]

Friends was popular back in the day, but has NOT aged well. There is so much homophobia, fatphobia, and there would probably be more racism -- the only reason it doesn't come up is due to the lack of diversity in the cast.

[@LyriaSiders]

Strangely enough I get the feeling that they actually started pretty OK. Like when in season 1 all of them assume Chandler is gay the joke is that Chandler has no idea why and nobody can really explain. His coworker is even trying to set him up but otherwise everybody is completely fine with a (in their assumption) gay Chandler. In later seasons the jokes actually just become: you are gay, you kissed a man, you are sensitive, you are fat. It is baffling how a show can actually regress so dramatically over time.

[@kimberlytousley3450]

❤️

[@jennaschweitzer6054]

React to Grey's Anatomy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@merle309]

What if I don't want my partner to meet my father, because my father is a homophobic, racist, sexist person who neglected me for most of the time?

[@fleetskipper1810]

Tell your partner that.

[@Ganychan]

The fatphobic bs is really bad in Friends, ugh.

[@cieraleal8030]

my fiance's family is wonderful and very supportive of him. we're in a long distance relationship im in iran he's in the US and i thought the moment they hear im iranian they're gonna think I'm with him for a greencard.we went to Turkey and that's when things got serious we got engaged on our trip and I met his family through video calls.I was really nervous but I have nothing to hide n I love him so I met them and they were so nice to me,i heard themtalking to my fiance afterwards and they were concerned that he was with me at first,kept telling him be careful and things like that.one of his aunts was trying to intimidate me on the phone saying she's really protective of him and if something happens to him or someone hurts him she's not gonna leave the person who hurt him alone. i kept calm and told her she had nothing to worry about n she's gonna see that we are a great couple together and care about each other when she gets to know me more.now 7 months later they all support our relationship and his aunt followed me on instagram and likes our photos together.his grandmother also is buying me gifts.they're so so nice to me n i understand their worries in the beginning.it's natural.