Funny Things To Say Right Before Anesthesia Kicks In (Reddit Stories r/AskReddit)

[@charitard3518]

My friend (male) told his surgeon (male) “You’re the first guy to ever go inside me. Be gentle”

[@williamb-b7440]

Im WHESING Holy frock you blow my comment up from me spelling something wrong thanks guys

[@unagi7143]

😂

[@red0421]

🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣😆😆

[@tactician6129]

Lmao

[@jbest31]

jon doe I’m also whesing

[@mayalouwho2597]

Doctor- “count backward from ten” Me- “I hate math” And then I was out

[@JL-zw7hi]

@Oddysea Cat Not anymore

[@Mischievous__Slime]

*anestesia kicks in* "Mr. Stark, i don't feel so gud" *_FALLS ASLEP_*

[@titanicstars5221]

Maya J 😂😂

[@andressanchez232]

My dad had this simple challenge as well, the thing is he only counted 1 physically but counted close to 10 mentally

[@yourlocalcemetery]

H

[@geimskip17]

Imagine making such a funny joke that the doctor cant stop laughing and stabs you in the lung by accident.

[@maoussirski5419]

cocaine cola wow calm down 🤣

[@JR-gg6cv]

I spat out my milk. 😂

[@smileyfacevibeswithyou1138]

oh god

[@elizabethliddell2181]

Ne

[@eaten_kookie6247]

Noice

[@hadiffnazhan862]

My dad went out saying “mcdonalds” and then woke up saying “hmm tasty”

[@Starfish_Manatee]

not gonna lie dis is the most funniest comment ive ever read i just dont know why. tell ur dad i like the commitment to that joke

[@spacekid9680]

XD

[@georgek4416]

LOL

[@salsabilak3520]

Lmao

[@bijouxkas]

@the Emperor of man I agree

[@peach8438]

“Okay I’m going to need you to count backwards from 10” “You want fries with that?” *blacks out*

[@rainbowunipenguins5956]

I just snorted with laughter, and I’m doing that next time I get surgery

[@cassie9682]

The fact that it doesn't make any sense just makes me laugh so much 😂

[@Noname-xj3yn]

This doesn't make any sense so why tf am I laughing!? 😂😂

[@soup-flavored-soup6613]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@cricketuhm]

Sure i'd like some Arbys curly fries.

[@charlesvanmeter8105]

Had a doctor named Dr Slaughter. When i met him said "that better not be a nickname earned while working here."

[@amandac8836]

That's. That is SUCH an unfortunate name for a doctor hahahaha

[@speedtubertm6319]

Doc: It is a nickname i got here while working, not important, from my previous job in a slaughterhouse

[@charlesvanmeter8105]

The guy was weird too. I was about 19 y/o at the time. He kept bringing up big hero six and how he had a cameo in it. I hadn't seen it before and even told him that. But still he kept bringing it up and laughing to himself about apearing in a movie. I later watched it to find out the moment he was referring to was when the stoner college kid was showing off his comics.

[@dan-5678]

... ironic cause where I grew up there's a scarehouse called Dr Slaughter's house of terror

[@secondarymetabolite5050]

I had a dentist whose name translates to "butcher"...

[@AverageAlien]

As the surgeon say: "It's time to start harvesting while they're fresh."

[@alexwang982]

Nice to meet you, I am Pi

[@AverageAlien]

@@alexwang982 Hi Pi im dad

[@weese03]

@@AverageAlien hi dad I'm mom

[@epsi9923]

Username checks out.

[@cakelady8534]

Average Alien hi dad, I’m your girlfriend

[@polish_filipino]

1:20 "Righty tighty, Lefty loosey" **Dies**

[@draessw]

Polish Filipino that’s how they put the coffin on with the drill.

[@plastic6568]

Drewbee LOL

[@afrojahames5748]

As a surgeon, say: so, *_how_* do I extract the heart?

[@alvinhagerman8164]

Uhhhhhh, i was supposed to (insert wrong thing here) amputate his/her legs, right?

[@fernandarubilar4596]

"Siri, the patient has a leak, what should I do?"

[@theowleyes07]

I am a doc too during my residency my my senior doc had a patient (M 23 who broke femur into 3 and was a son of one of another doc) to whom he said lets play the DVD to know how to repair the Femur just before the Anaesthetic kicked in.

[@summerant38]

And that’s how the medic lost his license

[@darcihasselbach4125]

a good way to get sued for malpractice

[@mattleach5294]

“Who’s the guy in the black robe?” *passes out

[@reedman0780]

"Didnt know you guys have black coats"

[@reve2712]

XD

[@hugs4carry143]

FBI Agent 👀

[@ubz05]

It's death😂😂😂😉

[@ragingrampage2188]

Red pill blue pill

[@earffquakee_]

Surgeon: "this is the stuff that killed Michael Jackson" My brain: He He

[@jia2827]

hee-hee

[@botelladeaguamediollena4885]

heee-heee

[@theshee5450]

@@botelladeaguamediollena4885 HEEEEEE HEEEEEE

[@mochivin5143]

*-huuuu-huuu-*

[@thebakerganimations1114]

*HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HHHHHEEEEEEEE*

[@jeffreykassir]

“Y’all also see that man in the dark suit in the corne-“ *black out*

[@bigdickgod2442]

IM DEFINITELY USING THIS ONE NEXT TIME.

[@Dragon-hu5ev]

Mason R YES

[@yorampaar2011]

Imagine saying that and then dying

[@a.3081-b9g]

Peppa Jeff • 13 years ago hsisiwjhidpepprirnporneidud

[@dbt5110]

Better : who’s that instead of y’all also see

[@everything_nerdy3562]

My doctor told me that the anesthetic tasted like bubble gum. The last thing I remember doing was licking the inside of the mask like a moron.

[@wafflekiller6996]

Everything_Nerdy well, what did it taste like?

[@everything_nerdy3562]

He lied. It didn’t taste like anything

[@wafflekiller6996]

Everything_Nerdy well that’s disappointing. *lies.*

[@pokerface4]

@@everything_nerdy3562 Reality is often dissapointment

[@StarStormz_]

LOL I HAD ONE OF THOSE- THEY SMELL REALLY GOOD Taste? Also nothing

[@thescientist7753]

Once i woke up during anesthesia and asked “you done yet?” And the dentist said “no that was just the novocaine injection, go back to sleep” I said aight and went back under

[@buildswithdavid9135]

If you woke up, sue them.

[@nilsapriem3641]

Wtf, yall go under anesthesia at the dentist?

[@fridapajon2931]

@@nilsapriem3641 lmao i wish

[@tacocat5594]

nilsa priem only for wisdom teeth removal

[@prestigegrim]

@@fridapajon2931 I was awake when they removed my wisdom teeth

[@McDuckee69]

I had to get out my appendix out, so the doctor told me to count down to ten. I then quickly counted it down really fast, the last thing I heard was the nurse saying “that’s cheating”.

[@TheZephyrsWind]

That's crazy. The countdown thing never works for me, I've gotten to 70 & said "this isn't working, I just feel like I'm starting to float" & they then used & IV rather than gas & it worked. I'm extremely resistant to many drugs, as well as alcohol (used to drink 4 gallons of liquor a week for severe chronic pain)

[@alek8835]

Christopher Michael I don’t think using alcohol for chronic pain is a good way to deal with it..

[@theautisticartist9370]

Alek are you a certified doctor?

[@lifeisfreakinginteresting9558]

The autistic Artist There is way better way to deal with chronic pain, daily alcohol usage can damage the liver and there is no need to be a doctor to know this...

[@theautisticartist9370]

LifeIsFreaking Interesting ehhhhh sorry I wouldn’t know. I’m not even old enough to drive so I wouldn’t understand these things. You, my friend, have taught me something new today 😊

[@sadsquatch4797]

I remember looking at the nurse and saying, “man these drugs ain’t shit” and immediately blacking out after while she laughed at me.

[@ojo6178]

very believable my guy

[@EduardoContrerasD]

Nice one, Donald.

[@CrystalKarma]

"this must be what dying feels like" "oh, my, God" lmfaooooo

[@muffinman5741]

I bet she said that in a valley girl accent

[@stormrunner4081]

He probably gave the nurse a heart attack

[@illegalalien4444]

When you pass out and start closing your eyelids only to see the Avengers in your room with balloons

[@merkava7126]

The first thing they say: "You get to name it!"

[@LSK2K]

I've been searching this video for almost a week now just to read this comment.

[@doctorstrange2768]

Spetsgruppa V Kapkan Want a balloon? 😂

[@lowbudgetname2745]

Shat up Your meme is stolen

[@davidkanengieter]

I asked the Anesthesiologist in a slurry Connery voice: "Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?" Quickly he said "No Mr Bond, I expect you to sleep."

[@mercylessplayer]

If I ever get surgery I will use this

[@gokurocks9]

I LAUGHED thank you.

[@jesus8332]

The funny thing is ‘ I expect you to sleep ‘ cuz idk what u meant

[@willowwilt691]

Yasss

[@saintdarpa9818]

Solid gold

[@helenarosno]

Bot: “His blood pressure is a little high.” Me: “That’s not the only thing that’s high.”

[@Rainy_R]

*o o o o h*

[@kanedaku]

Cool, sentient robot surgery!

[@jazzyspork8745]

imagine right before you go under they say "are they an organ donor?"

[@whywasimadetofeelnothingbu1991]

s a d "Which leg are we amputating again?"

[@AngelTX]

Why was I made to feel nothing but pain lmao

[@yerro504]

Gokussgame what? Are you okay?

[@jazzyspork8745]

@@yerro504 "why was i made to feel nothing but pain" is the person he's replying to lmao

[@Literally_LeviathanLol]

Doctor: Wait...oh, this isn’t the guy getting both legs amputated? Oops...

[@HalVerArt]

"I can't feel my face when I'm with you" "cause I numbed it" cracked me up so hard lmao

[@amber_Forever16]

BelgiumShady “oh, I thought it was the cocaine”

[@brysonloko2456]

Right lmao

[@jordyv.703]

Een Belg?

[@jeanpaulmarrero2728]

So I’ve had the privilege of having 7 surgeries from injuries sustained as a wrestler. It took me 7 surgeries to finally get this joke I’d wanted to do as I was going out... Here I am about to have my ACL reconstructed and as I’m feeling the propofol take affect, I say “Hey everyone, want to know how to keep a doctor in suspense?” and the whole OR fell quiet awaiting my response. To which, they never got as I had finally succumbed to the anesthesia. According to my surgeon, they sat and waited for about 20 seconds before realizing that the joke was me being knocked out and having them waiting for an answer in suspense. After which, she said they laughed for a good minute or two before starting the procedure. Next week, I get to experience it all over again in another surgery... I’ll make sure to do it again lol.

[@DeathByLego]

That gave me a good chuckle.

[@chickencurry420]

It's been 2 weeks now. Any news, my guy?

[@jeanpaulmarrero2728]

Zak Jet I unfortunately was too drugged to remember to do it😕 Surgery went well though, roughly 65% of my acetabular labrum was torn and it was repaired. No clue how I managed to do that one but hey, it’s fixed and I have less pain than before surgery so I’m stoked🙌🏽

[@Morlun91]

But are you planning retirement or 8 surgeries is to be expected in your line of work?

[@jeanpaulmarrero2728]

Morlun91 Oh yeah haha, I retired from wrestling a few years ago! After my 3rd shoulder surgery (which was a biceps tenodesis - where they cut the long head of the biceps and attach it into the distal portion of the bicipital groove), my surgeon was very real with me and told me there could be some serious consequences if I damaged what he had done. So, I hung up the wrestling shoes and focused in on my studies and guitar playing. It’s unfortunate though as I never got to wrestle a collegiate match. But, it’s been a blessing through the grand scheme of it all. Ultimately, my body feels wonderful now and after the hip I’m feeling normal again for the first time in years. I’m graduating from my undergrad this May and am pursuing a Ph.D. in exercise physiology because I want to teach. Luckily, I don’t need to be too mobile for that profession haha :)

[@kate7yn334]

I said, “This burns” and he said “It’s not supposed to do that” and the world went dark

[@petalpotionsart]

Were you put out with IV or the mask?? If IV, i'm like 99% sure I know what they gave you

[@kate7yn334]

Parker Phillips yeah it was IV

[@petalpotionsart]

@@kate7yn334 I'm pretty sure what they gave you was Propofol. I've had it many times when I needed to be put out, and if the vein is close to the surface, it really really burns. If it burned, it's really likely that you had the IV in your hand or in your wrist. If a vein in the inside of your elbow is relatively close to the surface, it can also burn if that's where you had it.

[@mr.terwilliger5728]

Parker Phillips thank you

[@petalpotionsart]

@@mr.terwilliger5728 Hahahah, why am I being thanked??

[@VKingMD]

"Well I suppose you are all wondering why I have gathered you here today." is a good one

[@jeremias5784]

This... Is a bucket

[@rileyisbored7507]

I wanna use this in my future surgeries if I'll have more

[@manager-nim2623]

Omg this is beautiful

[@remibrooks5994]

Funnier in an elevator

[@rece9151]

“This must be what dying feels like” -a mad lad

[@CryptidVulpes]

Ah sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet here we go again

[@MrA-lo5ho]

r/madlads

[@akuma.wolf13]

Nurse: "Count from 10 to 0 and you'll be out" Me: *counts backwards from 10* "Done, can I get a sticker now?" Doc: "Why is he still awake?" Me: "I'm a good-" *passes out*

[@MaxisaBandKid]

BOooooooyyyyyyyy... (Voice gets progressively deeper)

[@mr.terwilliger5728]

Straight up I asked a nurse out before my wisdom tooth operation and her number was in my pants pocket that night when I took my wallet and keys out. Together almost a year now :D

[@mayattv4986]

Damn son. Preach me, your new disciple.

[@vlonejacket5476]

Wholesome

[@ellamahley2682]

congagutians

[@josepherhardt164]

OMG. Write it up, sell it as a rom-com! Happy for you!

[@Threadinhand]

Mr. Terwilliger I’m speechless

[@jinkstacks4830]

If I was having head surgery, right before I went under I would say “you know which leg it is, right?”

[@guy_incognito7538]

That's great

[@Reflox1]

I did this when they operated my leg. After surgery they came in and asked "How do you feel?" - "Great I can already move my arm again!"

[@beeowo7030]

80th like

[@wyatterminator3761]

@@beeowo7030 WHAT A GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO THIS COMMENT

[@beeowo7030]

Terminator 0783 Who pissed in your Cheerios? 😂

[@ogun4921]

"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip-..." *black out*

[@abragim6360]

*wakes up* And a large soda

[@AlphaWolf-xi1dg]

Why is this Soo funny to me just the fact you continue after

[@saj2392]

I apparently woke up in the middle of my surgery and said: "Hey, Doc. Is it too late to go to the toilet?"

[@georgem101yearsago4]

Doctor: *holds lung and heart* “What.”

[@Starfish_Manatee]

chicken mcnuggets

[@Suilimea]

Jesus Christ 😂

[@kenzieberumen3578]

Anesthesiologist: count down from 5 Me: okay *counts in head* Anesthesiologist: no outloud Me: five... *passes out*

[@TheLegendaryNomad]

“Wait, what’s the safe word?”😂 I’m dying

[@srijamitra4806]

I didn't get this 😅.... Can someone explain?

[@mallyO]

@Srija Mitra the joke refers to bdsm (a kind of sexual foreplay involving pain and torture) the instrument the doctor was using to keep the patient from biting down resembles a bondage toy that is a ball and strap that one person wraps around the other persons mouth to keep them from moaning or screaming loudly. The “safe word” is a word that the person receiving pain says if the pain is too much and it will make the pain giver stop. Usually the person experiencing pain is called a masochist (a person who experiences sexual pleasure through pain) and the person giving the pain is called a sadist (a person who receives sexual pleasure seeing others in pain). If you want to know more, watch the movie “Fifty shades of Grey”. That movie is all about bdsm.

[@revannoct8724]

Mallory Orear My innocence is fading away...

[@srijamitra4806]

@@mallyO holy heck.... Was totally not expecting this 😂 thanks so much for the reply though

[@hollymaccharles1315]

Is that the safe word?

[@northstar6920]

My uncle shattered his hand with a hammer while putting up a shelf and had to get it to reconstructed and before they put him under he asked the doctor in an overly dramatic tone if he'd be able to play the piano. The doc confused by the this said sure it should be possible, my uncle then burst out with "GOOD BECAUSE I COULDENT BEFORE!."

[@channelingecho]

What a legend

[@manager-nim2623]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Kasuyaki007]

this is the best one hahahaha

[@ziyinglim4917]

I remember reading this somewhere before. ( -.-)

[@glassofwater281]

Lmfao

[@crazzy2228]

My last thought before going under was "That's not oxygen." I regret not saying that out loud.

[@Getsusayuki]

I thought the exact same thing with my wisdom teeth surgery! I just thought my orthodontist said that because he's a paediatric specialist

[@lordpsi99]

I took my mask off after they said it was oxygen but felt myself going out. They tried to pull a fast one but I wanted to let them know I wasn't going to let them get away with it completely. For the record, I was okay with the gas and was ready for them to put me out but the lying got me heated.

[@akumasvengeance]

next time i go under, i’m gonna shut my eyes and say “ that’s a bright light. why does that man have wings?”

[@charizardgaming2253]

madlad

[@digitalsilver1013]

I was getting my wisdom teeth out and when I woke up my mom asked "are you bleeding " and I said In my still drugged voice "I dONt GoT tImE tO bLeEd"

[@crazytomato4845]

Fuck yes, Predator

[@turinturambar1688]

I’m going to need that

[@stainjamin]

Oml I need to get my 4 wisdom teeth out and a cavity tooth (a bit sad cause I felt safe at this one place but insurance doesnt cover it so I gotta go to some torture looking factory) so I'm looking for things to lighten the mood and make them laugh (and most likely frick up my teeth cause they're either subtly messed with or laughing their heads off

[@lefterisphasarias8934]

What are these wisdom teeth? You remove them and become dumb af?

[@nuggetlovesall222]

@@lefterisphasarias8934 you lose wisdom

[@joefrayling9263]

"goddamnit you killed me" "quick were losing me" laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheek

[@natalienewton3711]

SAME IM DYING😂😂

[@sikena]

If i was the surgeon I’d be like: “Ok pull up the wikihow article”

[@CazzEdits]

S I love yo-----your comment

[@Impimperator]

So underrated

[@Pingoinnn]

I put the 69th like

[@_VictorGrantz_]

LMFAO UNDERRATED

[@caprisun4851]

*giggle fit ensues while the patient screams*

[@NightRainn]

if I for some reason get a surgery, I'm going to say "Anyone want to ask god a question?"

[@Starfish_Manatee]

im gonna use dis

[@potato7688]

Im gonna ask this when i get my wisdom teeth removed lol

[@Exceltiaawesome]

I told the anaesthesiologist the gas smelled funny. He said “yeah your surgeon hasn’t washed his socks for a week” I laughed then I was out.

[@GhastlessGibus]

"Obama's last name is..." *Goes under*

[@deaththekid922]

Obama is his last name

[@DarkLink1996.]

@@deaththekid922 That's the joke

[@_0w701]

@@deaththekid922 ok boomer

[@deaththekid922]

@@DarkLink1996. sorry but im at a point where i just asume people online are serious when they ask stupid questions because i have seen so much stupidity already

[@aestheticvirgocoochie20yea45]

Minene Uryuu922 I PC Masterrace I understandable

[@gruknarorcishwar-yerhereto8489]

Patient: there’s a spooky skeleton in there Surgeon: when I’m done their might be a ghost too

[@ChrisBenWabiKusa]

*hold up*

[@rosalindneil1832]

O_o

[@Hanakin-Sidewalker]

*I’m gonna stop you right there*

[@gruknarorcishwar-yerhereto8489]

I mean, you never know?

[@lekhapratap1652]

This must be what dying feels like but at least you’ll meet the greatest host M. Jackson for that blow.

[@Taylor-kd9ld]

I had a surgery and when I was passing out I yelled at the top of my voice "Don't let my friends in until I can speak full numbers they wil...."*passed out* Then when I woke up I yelled "Will draw all over my face with sharpie!!!!!!" They were actually planning to do they tho

[@josepherhardt164]

One thing about propofol, at least for me, is that when you wake up, you wake up _fully_ , without any drowsiness or wooziness. OMG, the spell-checker knows "wooziness."

[@lucario.pokedex.0448]

Lmao

[@zStellar]

I had to get my shoulder fixed and before the anesthesia kicked in the surgeon said "This is the first time I've ever worked on a non-dummy" (he was joking). I politely replied. "So you're calling me smart?"

[@majormadcat]

after waking up i had a very strong urge for lemonade and asked them for "Watered lemons"

[@spacekid9680]

Lol

[@nithidesikan6458]

I love watered lemons

[@Starfish_Manatee]

@@nithidesikan6458 same

[@xdgamerkid]

This is the best one here

[@demonetization6596]

I had to go for a surgery,I remember them placing a green mask on me,the doctor jokingly said“Any last words?" I said“If I die,sleep with your eyes open"and passed out

[@MechaMeow01]

Oh. My. Fucking.God. That is class.

[@1ceblock]

When you wake up from anesthesia: "Hey, you, you are finally awake"

[@jamierussell379]

Damn you stormcloaks

[@oroshithegodeater2590]

To the block Prisoner

[@alexbutlevics8671]

“Aight imma head out”

[@owenlewis4693]

Do you support the Galactic Empire?

[@teraspeXt]

Did you just -steal my comment- _get here before I did and fairly make the joke_ ?

[@skylargacha9093]

Surgeon: "count from 10 backwards" Me: "A b c d e f p j k" In a serious voice.

[@marlenemortler4164]

Love that

[@UnknownPerson-fg6ts]

Wait is that not how u count for ten backwards?

[@dinolife2748]

Nice one!

[@1ztype343]

@JKMiracle woooooooosh

[@Entele21]

As the Surgeon: "Don't worry, I've logged 20 hours in Surgeon Simulator" Me: "Oh shiiiiiiii-" *Black out*

[@Karma-xv2ee]

69 likes, nice.

[@kanedaku]

Genuine LOL from me

[@yuen28]

“The body is under the floorboards”

[@MistaOppritunity]

Right before I went under for getting my wisdom teeth removed, the dentists assistant put the IV in my arm and I distinctly remember my arm feeling the way mint tastes. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "woah. Is this what it's like to chew five gum?" And then I woke up.

[@amber_Forever16]

MistaOppritunity lol, that’s hilarious

[@longcat2992]

Hahahahahahah

[@kablanq4673]

MistaOppritunity lmao 😂

[@nateduff385]

When I was under for my wisdom teeth i remember the room looked like some shit from saw and i said if your going to harvest my organs I'll be fine with that.

[@tuesdaytue]

omg hahahaha genius

[@Tankling28]

Mine was the knock out gas using the mask, right before I went under I said "wait a second... this smells like chloroform." The doctor nearly fell back in his chair, I felt accomplished.

[@dfor]

As an adult I've only been knocked out for surgery once, to get my wisdom teeth removed. The orthopedic surgeon told me that as the anesthesia sets in, I will start to get an erection. The last thing I remember is turning to the cute nurse and saying "Don't get too excited now. We have to stay professional here." Lmao

[@coolerthanyou6040]

Douglas Forsyth *Awkward Silence*

[@nightmodenylo1538]

Fucking legend

[@authenticNL2]

Best comment ever

[@ticcingtimebomb877]

Amazing

[@xxxod]

Plot twist: She was married with 2 kids

[@Gkitchens1]

"So you're just going to amputate the one toe, right?" When going under for a different survery.

[@samuelf5172]

”Bravo six going dark”

[@theboisgamingandvlogs304]

Samuel F bruh

[@bilgerat938]

Lmao

[@theboisgamingandvlogs304]

Lmfa00000

[@kingchris-xt9lf]

Best one now i want surgery

[@-Winterwinde-]

LMFAO

[@ltnagle2492]

“Shouldn’t I be getting a bedtime story?”

[@IAmThyOverlord]

"If I die SCP - 001 Is actually......." And they will never know

[@mineyourbeeswaxx]

“Bravo six, going dark” or “aw shit, here we go again” .

[@StaminaStudios]

MineYourBeesWax THIS IS GOLD!

[@gabrielrozakis1994]

Yes

[@soldeeznuts7831]

That second one is reserved for the second time and after lel

[@sicarios8474]

cringeeeee

[@yeetyeeter6417]

lol

[@ecologicnickel1208]

“Wait who’s that guy at the doorway in the black ro-“ Goes under

[@verynormalhumans4420]

“If I die, I hid 2 million dollars in the-“ *black out*

[@YankeeTM]

Underrated, rofl

[@ChRiS-cx2zp]

Big oof

[@alisastelle4188]

Stolen joke

[@ChRiS-cx2zp]

@V1ral hyper mega oof

[@ChRiS-cx2zp]

@V1ral breathtaking oof

[@thesoullessanomaly3958]

Went for open heart surgery and before the meds knocked me out I asked for them to notify the surgeon (hadn't walked into the room yet as far as I'm aware) that I'd like to request that they install an ARC Reactor in place of my heart. The nurses at my side didn't get it until I heard laughter coming from behind them and another nurse simply explained with one word, "Ironman" then the rest of the room broke into laughter. Then right as I was fading out the surgeon walks up and says, "Ok Mr. Stark, let's install Mk. 5." (This was my fifth heart surgery)

[@douge1186]

Yes

[@Place_Holder-cl5hk]

HAHAHAHA-wait. What if they did?

[@James-May]

Wait -- 5 heart surgeries??

[@thesoullessanomaly3958]

@@James-May yup being born with a defect requires a lot of updates since the "replacement parts" don't grow along with you since they're not naturally part of the body.

[@James-May]

@@thesoullessanomaly3958 oh, I'm sorry to hear that! You're quite a strong person :D I wish you the best of luck then!!

[@carsonthomas6186]

I told my dad, a cop “This must be why people love drugs” Then I passed out

[@biggSHNDO]

Carson Thomas good stuff

[@Starfish_Manatee]

thats good

[@darion1728]

good

[@Starfish_Manatee]

Yes

[@creepywaffles4783]

😂 oops

[@bndr208]

When I was about to have surgery. The guy put the mask on me. After a little while, I acted as if I were out, when he took the mask off, I quickly “jumped” at him and scared the shit out of him. For some reason, I don’t pass out quickly. I had a doctor once ask me behind my family’s back if I was on some kind of drugs, after like 15 minutes of not passing out.

[@KC-xh5bs]

WTH! 😂😂

[@user-vv5ju3fj1p]

Scaring a surgeon is a rookie mistake. You got lucky kid.

[@Suilimea]

Lmfao noo 🤣

[@minecraftletsplay5334]

Me starting to black out Surgeon: “Alright look up the wiki-how” Edit: holy guacamole that's a lot of likes

[@VegitoBlueYT]

LMFAO

[@samuelr.6046]

NO NO NO N-

[@darienvinke9565]

I dont get it

[@aquajasper]

@@darienvinke9565 the surgeon's gonna look up how to do surgery on wiki-how 😂

[@octicseth]

Dariën Vinke wiki how has the worst tips ever

[@TheNerdyCoty]

Right before the drugs kick in and I enter the void: anesthesiologists says “OOOOH hey guys he’s not the one getting a vasectomy.”.

[@Soliloquy259]

they don't knock you out for a vasectomy

[@TheNerdyCoty]

Katherine Sparrow probably just a joke.

[@nobanmepls3291]

I didn't do anything memorable when I got serious arm surgery. However when my wisdom teeth were pulled they gave me a child's dose of anesthesia because I was 16 but 6'3 315 pounds so it kept wearing off and I kept waking up and saying "Hi how's it going" dude jumped 20 feet the first time.

[@Tommy-bp5qr]

Thanks for the laugh 😆

[@mundan3smith385]

NoBanMePLS that’s not how anesthesiologists work

[@eroith5133]

@@mundan3smith385 cmon man dont ruin the joke for him

[@elizabethcarlos3883]

When I woke up from getting my wisdom teeth removed my parents kept telling me that I wanted to fight justin bieber. To this day I still want to fight him lol

[@rabbit3734]

Me being put under: I think I would like Chinese food after this. Anesthesiologist: Prepare the cat. Me: Gasps then blacks out

[@soulplexis]

I don't get it

[@tylerhilpisch7850]

I had my large intestine removed and I asked if I could keep it to make sausage, they had to take 20 min to calm down

[@VegitoBlueYT]

wait wtf how do you shit

[@agbc9832]

you what now-

[@cioelle]

please op, please tell us how you shit now i'm shaking

[@1ztype343]

Holy shit are you ok

[@prodbykaji]

Morgan Morgan that’s sad i like to poo

[@njplayz5958]

My ear was getting surgery and they had to give me gas to put me to sleep, and I asked: "Whats this funny stuff?" Doctor: "Laughing gas, it always makes people laugh." Me: "I bet you I wont laugh." Doctor: "Poop." Me: "Hahahahaha" Also me: "dammit." Then I passed out.

[@user-uw8dn7db1l]

Why did I laugh at this

[@HH-kl8ed]

NJ Playz Exact same surgery and exact same conversation. You’re scaring me

[@CoffeeMadeMeSay]

Awww you're so cute

[@TheZephyrsWind]

Your ear? I am disabled & they pay only for emergencies. I lost part of my earlobe as the flesh underwent necrosis. No idea what caused it, though a brown recluse made a baseball sized piece of my flesh die, even down to the bone. I took care of the daily cleaning, removing more dead flesh, & packing it daily. When I could finally see the doctor I showed him & he said "that's impressive, most people mess up & make it worse when self treating." I still have a crater there on my thigh & the leg is weaker due to muscle loss. Stupid spiders. That one is less than a quarter in size, so don't judge spiders by size. Plus the initial bite felt like a tiny poke or pinch.

[@naelyneurkopfen9741]

Honestly laughed till I cried! Thanks, I needed that! 😂

[@Ethan-yg8me]

"I'll be back in a bit, I'm just going out for a pack of cigarettes " *dies*

[@NOTtheAditiYK]

RIP man.... It's been 3 months but we're still waiting for those cigarattes......

[@arattor6107]

*Mr.Stark,i don’t feel so good.....*

[@marzbarz7934]

I am using this for my wisdom teeth removal.

[@peepeegal941]

Next time i get anesthesia i will say this

[@SoulRacer65]

I might be using this when i go to the dentists soon, if i am put under

[@bookbutterfly6613]

Arattor 610 when I get my first surgery I’m so freaking using this

[@user-ql7zl4nu7i]

Slow and happy

[@zsu-23-4kirov6]

0/10, nobody said “mr Stark I don’t feel so good”

[@itsnetts]

@pansi the waffle That's actually a lot of peoples original idea...

[@itsnetts]

@pansi the waffle Yup. :/

[@cralixthegameking4408]

Doing it

[@cralixthegameking4408]

Don't care if it's original I love reffrences

[@ermangelo]

only agent of shield fans get 5:25

[@bmx_toronto8316]

me: knock knock surgeon: whos there me: cliff hanger surgeon: cliff hanger who me: *goes under*

[@wiebs9640]

This is gold!!

[@the-sassy-blacksmith7594]

"I demand a bedtime story"

[@alisa-jojanson4869]

Love it

[@xdgamerkid]

Definitely what I'm gonna say

[@kanedaku]

"I demand a bedtime story" *crosses arms and pouts*

[@XTheBeautyGuruX]

Anaesthetist: "okay, start counting down from ten." Me: "Ten, nine, eight, seven, oh damn-"

[@bendy4539]

doctor: ok start counting from 0 to 10 me: "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,YOU WIN- *blacks out*

[@circumplex9552]

@@bendy4539 blast processing? Lmao

[@c_bi_n_o_d_i_n_6554]

my favorite number oh damn-

[@BLZPHR]

When I went out for my wisdom teeth I didn’t even get past 8 hahaha, felt like I got a little light headed, blinked, and it was all over with but I still felt loopy.

[@WistfuII]

Was told to count down from 10: "10.. 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4..." (Black out) _wakes up later, after the surgery is completed_ "3.. 2... 1... Now what?"

[@あけみ-w4k]

Okay, no joke, the nurse for my school was named Mrs. Cheryl Stark. One day, I was feeling sick, so I legit said, "Mrs. Stark, I don't feel so good." Long story short, I was sent back to class because she thought I was joking around about feeling sick. EDIT: I threw up in class.

[@codywoodvine9724]

Ha

[@grenade5053]

F

[@sxhem5889]

F

[@echoana]

Ha

[@micayacannon9268]

I don't get it?

[@youtubeearrapecenter5353]

As a surgeon say: "hey siri, how do i perform brain surgery?"

[@nickkohlmann]

THIS THIS IS THE BEST I'VE EVER SEEN

[@operationtakeoveryoutube1724]

Omg the poor patient! 😂

[@speedtubertm6319]

Right before they go out

[@jasminedoggietvn6995]

“Ok, now open up the wikihow page.”

[@Cedar-wz5vw]

That is cruel

[@chihirosen6996]

"Does anybody need anything while I'm out" put me in a witch cackling fit. 😂😂😂

[@stiles3463]

Feels the anesthesia, Me: Bravo Six, going dark

[@deltateal7987]

How do i like a comment twice?

[@1sean]

this is the best one haha

[@1zzKolby]

Yes... now to just remember this

[@CoffeeMadeMeSay]

Hehhehehe

[@CubingB]

Stiles 346 the best one so far. Upvote from me sir

[@plaguepenguin]

I've been put under a few times and made jokes the whole time but nothing this funny. The funnest thing I said while waking up was "I think I drooled on your pillow" sat up and patted it and finished with, "oh I did. I'll take it home and wash it and bring it back." I was still under the medication so they were fighting me to lay back down before I rolled off the bed.

[@miciso666]

rofl.

[@Zooiest]

robl rolling on the bed laughing also robl rolling off the bed laughing

[@Namityname]

Omfg I found a Hufflepuff

[@plaguepenguin]

@@Namityname does that make you a raven claw?

[@Namityname]

@@plaguepenguin I was a Hufflepuff, but that was about 1 year ago and I have changed allot over the year, so I tested again and got griffndor!

[@cellopillsbury9404]

Me waking up from knee surgery: "hey my knee hurts" Nurse: "gee I wonder why"

[@DBGames574]

Lol

[@neatso]

Lol

[@NotTakenPls]

Lol

[@doctorstrange2768]

Lol

[@justanotherstranger3672]

Lol

[@hunterlady7656]

When I got surgery on my arm, I remember exclaiming I'd go to a themepark the day after I woke up. Apparently drugged out me was really stubborn and we went to the themepark, terrible mistake but good story.

[@PentaromaLMA0]

Before everything going blackout i said "I am a laptop keybord"

[@kiko12000]

Penta Anims this made me chuckle

[@amandac8836]

This made me laugh way too much hahaha

[@josepherhardt164]

You owe me a coffee and a keyboard!

[@coffinact745]

I remember the doctor telling me to count back to ten and I replied with “no. I failed English.” And I was out

[@Bumblebee-2768]

The more I read that the more I laugh

[@alexado7277]

@@Bumblebee-2768 actually

[@MindOfGenius]

Two similar, but different things: My Mom gets really funny whenever she's tired or sleepy. She woke up after her gallbladder surgery. One nurse asked her "So? What's the punchline?" My Mom: "...to what?" Nurse: "...the gorilla joke? You said you'd tell us the punchline later 'to make sure we had a reason' for you to pull through." My Mom: "...I don't know any gorilla jokes." The nurse walked out the door and yells to the nurse's station (10 feet away) "Guys, she forgot the gorilla joke!" and groans of disappointment are heard. I was going under and the doc said "Okay, count from backwards from 10 to 1, but do it slowly." I think to myself 'Okay, I'm gonna make SURE to stay awake!' so I count with great confidence and focus: "Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One." The doc waits a moment, looks off to the side. "Ummm...wanna do it again?" I sigh, disappointed, and count again but bored. "Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven-" Then I notice I'm staring at the ceiling. "Wait...I'm sitting up...I'm in my room...Oh! I guess the surgery is done."

[@winniebui5789]

(plotwist) your mom knew the punchline xD

[@gabrielbaerreis7603]

Whelp

[@sincerelymason]

This isn’t funny, but when I had a tooth pulled out, I’m told I tried to grab the doctor’s hand and bite it. Not sure why. Think I was ANGRY. Still remains a mystery.

[@gruntlos]

Last thing the tooth ever did

[@rembob6447]

When I had my teeth taken out the gas they gave me made me flaming hot mad. I had to keep my hands clenched in my lap so I didn't try to grab the dentist.

[@sincerelymason]

Dudasthegamer: Well played. I applaud you.

[@BeanMachine360]

Doctor: any second now me: *windows xp shutdown*

[@josepherhardt164]

Jesus. At least it wasn't Vista.

[@caseydykes117]

I asked the anesthetist ‘are you even qualified’ as he struggled with the IV pump. The room was dead silent for a second then they all started laughing as he glared at me. I was like oh frick this guy could literally kill me. Anyways obviously not dead and had a good laugh about it. My friend who was an orderly for that theatre said it was the funniest clap back he has ever heard 😂

[@kazumakanjifreak3010]

I've had to have four dental surgeries done. On my fourth one they used a gas mask, and while it was working I was asking "how long will this take?" To which they replied "about three hours". I said "okay, i have to be at the hospital by then, wake me up when it's over.". When they woke me up, without any warning i asked "Where's my wife? Donna?!" I was fourteen.

[@lavendersark1558]

Did you had dreams?

[@dragonmaid1360]

So did you marry a Donna?

[@kazumakanjifreak3010]

@@dragonmaid1360 I was fourteen. I didnt even have a girlfriend.

[@SubscribersWithoutConten-hu8zn]

What was their reaction?

[@-luna326]

Well I’ll be, you went to a whole other world. A whole new world.😂👏🏻

[@SIyMarbo]

After my colonoscopy still drugged up Me: Can I get ice cream Doc: ok Me: it’s not for me Doc: who’s it for? *confused look* Me: it’s for my ass Doctor: laughs and gets me ice cream It was sherbert

[@weebywoo5128]

Evolution joke 😉

[@SIyMarbo]

Steve true story but it was the inspiration

[@rakkstabber1536]

Damn I loved that movie

[@helookalikaman79]

having that test done, the best part/ easiest part was the Propofol... The night before is hell...

[@1castellp]

I told my dentist, after I woke up, "they took my wisdom. See. I can't talk fluently." I got all four wisdom teeth removed and I was slurring my speech.

[@SprityON]

This one is gold

[@haleysvec2608]

“Count down from 10” “1,2,3...”

[@olivia-hc7ut]

The Arctic you must be fun at parties😍

[@rtslonnie]

@@olivia-hc7ut wat...

[@juneturnsintojuly6684]

me getting anesthesia before eye surgery: "woah, strawberries!" surgeon: "yeah, we put in a scent" then i blacked out LMAO

[@kingdomecthulhu8738]

Oh god i remember that it was overwhelming then the gas was almost worse i remember heading to locker room back in highschool and the one janitor was fixing the back door the smell was exactly the same as gas and i almost was sick hit me like brick wall i can almost smell it just remembering ugh (ps 12 surgerys so far)

[@Tadpole_Plyrr2]

Mine was kind of the same Doc: here *puts it on* Me: ooh it smells nice Doc: yeah it’s purple popsicle Me: sooooo...... basically grape popsicle? Doc: Me: Doc: Me: *passes out* Only It was much quicker though lol

[@ahyesexistence1586]

"Doc, I forgot to mention....I'm allergic to ether." Doctor: *oh shit.....*

[@fionadoyle3772]

My mom screamed: OH GOD I DIDN’T BUY MY TURKEY SANDWICH the surgeon bought her one when the surgery was over

[@beeperry2863]

I kept a straight face until "goddammit, you killed me!" XD I had to pause the video!😂😂😂😂

[@amber_Forever16]

Watermelon _Mermaid11 lol I thought You were saying that you said that too

[@naelyneurkopfen9741]

That one & "poop"... Dead! 😂

[@amc8409]

I'm a scrub tech & assisted in several types of surgeries (patient fully asleep & open cavities) & procedures (patient sedated for a minor cut, or no cut at all- GI). Explanation of setting: When the scope is in certain areas (turning corners), it can get uncomfortable for the patient (the doc puts air in, so expand the intestine to move the scope), & they stir awake a bit. We usually tell the patient they're ok, where they are, that the doc is there, and we'll be done soon. Then they go back to sleep. I think my favorite instance was a colonoscopy on a guy. He stirs & starts to try to shoo the doc away & grab the scope out of himself. Guy- "Hey! HEY! What're you doin?! Get outta there!" We give him our standard reassurances, and he starts to relax & says, "Oh...I thought you were my girlfriend...", then goes back to sleep. The doc looks around at all of us with a surprised "Did you all hear that?" expression, we're all trying not to laugh til the nurse confirms he's back out, then bust up laughing. Good times!

[@fedor5664]

TL:DR pls

[@grzegorzha.]

@@fedor5664 patient said something funny and everyone was laughing.

[@fedor5664]

Grzegorz Ha ok thx

[@minnabaru341]

Fedor van Meeuwen Patient also pretty much said that his girlfriend has a strap-on.

[@apejones7335]

Surgeon: You're gonna start to feel sleepy in a few seconds Me: But you haven't even read me a bedtime story yet Me: *dies*