Game of Thrones Abridged #46: Eddard XII, AGOT

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[@SolidusGabriel]

I always forget the abridged videos are old so it's really funny everytime Schwift makes a comment alluding to the finale of the show/books not knowing how shitty season finale of the tv show was LMAO

[@Fbnkstr]

The Lannister secret indirectly killed Jon Arryn. It made him want to foster his son with Stannis at Dragonstone. And that was what made the ground for Littlefinger's intrigues fertile.

[@miketrujillo3677]

Im gonna make your grounds fertile

[@zregoob]

Alty! None of your episodes are shit! Even if a chapter has less action, or less intriguing events, you make it all worthy! Food descriptions, comparisons to current day events, call backs, theories, evidence, laughter! I cannot list all that you give us. You make these dense books not only palatable, but very digest-able. I search all the time for what I can just leave on in the background while I do house work, or sew, and all of your content is wonderful. I am not the only one, represent #schwiftysquwad We love your work, all of it. Never stop chugging.

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

There's an alternate reality where Ned gave in to Cersei's appeal for collaboration, told Cersei the truth about Jon Snow to initiate a sort-of Mutually Assured Destruction detente, and fucked in the Godswood in front of the Old Gods to seal the deal.

[@lurksnitchtongue8986]

In no world can I see Ned doing that and still being in the position he is

[@billy6044]

There is an alternate reality where you delete this

[@lokidoki525]

It would be cool though

[@miketrujillo3677]

@@billy6044 praying for it to be mine

[@Glurfl]

Love the use of the f-bomb here. Put to good use.

[@catathielemann3239]

Just woke up... been in bed all day, cold hit me hard. Anyway, with over 40 minutes of schwiftyness, I'll sure get better immediately. Thanks for the video, Alt dear. Hugs to the lovely #schwiftysquad

[@CRob172]

Cata Thielemann feel better 🤘🏻

[@hairlessoyster3689]

I don't think your climate agrees with you. You can't be sick i won't allow that kind of blasphemy. Hope you recover soon. You should really Be Well if you can. Mind over Matter. Find Cover!! (Splatter)

[@catathielemann3239]

This fall has been particularly cold, I actually love rain, but not cold weather. I'm not that sick, I just felt a bit shitty this morning, so I spent the day in bed, and slept a lot. Thanks for your concern, my dearest Oyster.

[@hairlessoyster3689]

Cata Thielemann it's been a shit start to our Summer (Real Summer, not that upside down stuff you experience) this year. Get Strong. Rest Up. Bake On.

[@franamellado]

oh this cracked me up! "the upside down stuff you experience" hahahahaha cheers Oyster!

[@ilhuicaminaachcuahtli9460]

That was deep shwifty! I never really saw Cersei as a knot of frustrated desires as you so eloquently put it. Thanks

[@kewl0210]

The other episodes are all great Alt. This one definitely really good though.

[@shieraseastar9300]

The race is for the Schwift..... One hour until my birthday....Listening to the mellow tones of your voice, makes my inevitable decrepitude bearable.....If a voice could be made material, yours would be liquid....I'd swim in it....

[@catathielemann3239]

Happy birthday, Shiera dear!! A big hug, and may your birthday wishes come true :)

[@shieraseastar9300]

Thank you, Cata, you're a sweetheart :D

[@hairlessoyster3689]

Happy Name day. Let yourself enjoy the Day. Have Fun

[@franamellado]

Happy birthday!!! :)

[@shieraseastar9300]

Thanks Oyster!! :)

[@betteryou7hanme]

When Jaime fills hole, Cersei feels whole.

[@janeelliott9297]

ooooohhhhh that was so good - I'm still of the opinion that Littlefinger orchestrated the knife guy for Bran and Joffery claimed it to 'look tough' tho had nothing to do with it - but that's my own jam. This was a stellar abridgement. Stellar!!!!

[@HelciusCabral]

gotta love those sweet notifications

[@Megacliff]

This is my favourite chapter in the entire series. There's something so disturbing about Cercei's frank honesty, and Eddard was truly a fool not to run or take immediate action.

[@hapaboi4593]

Each Ned chapter stresses me out cuz I know what's about to happen

[@jedi098765]

Cersei saying "you want sum fuk?" to Ned is the most hilarious thing I have heard recently. And I get Dave Chapelle in my youtube shorts algorithm.

[@blazikenafonso2758]

This series is great, rewatching it from the beginning and you’re just so entertaining! Hope you have a great day!

[@Muzer0]

I'm now imagining a version of the Lion King where in the scene where grown-up Simba is like "Run. Run away, Scar. And never return" but Scar ends up fucking killing the rest of Simba's family and then Timon ends up becoming a super assassin.

[@IronBahamut]

So many problems would have been solved if someone just shanked Petyr

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

Brandon Stark gave it a shot but Petyr got better. :/

[@lesliebailey1]

Another great episode!!

[@01MIA09]

Why would Eddard just assume Cercei's children are product of incest? She could just be cheating with other guys.

[@hairlessoyster3689]

#schwiftysquwad represent. Be back in an hour or two. Be Well.

[@napiersh1]

HEY YOU GUYS!!!!

[@hairlessoyster3689]

I like your style

[@CRob172]

Hairless Oyster can I be a well!?!

[@hairlessoyster3689]

Caleb Robinson fuck YEAh. SchwiftySquwad

[@CRob172]

#wethebest

[@mariusbaranauskas2802]

this is amazing, keep going!

[@CRob172]

Oh snap it's Schwifty time #schwiftysquad

[@smashedavo6949]

Mmm gotta love that sweet schwifty to get me through my boring af history readings. Ty Alt, as you said, one of the best episodes yet!

[@eirinnskecomics]

I got my housemate listening to you Alt :)

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

A real banger

[@frozenstorm1658]

It's cool how King's Landing does have a godswood in House of the Dragon.

[@nightsage217]

10:49 About Joffrey gets the short stick of genetical traits & parenting, I'm wondering when Martin wrote Tyrion, did he just write down the young twisted Joffrey, the handsome prince's characteristics & give it a good flip, and then put on to Tyrion.

[@theraven268]

43:00 I just wanted to note something about the Batman killing Joker issue. Why is it always Batmans "job" to end the Joker? He isn't even supposed to be Vigilanteing to begin with. The fact that Gotham's legal system keeps allowing The Joker to escape is the real vulprit here.

[@noahmay7708]

He probs should kill him though

[@KlaraL-_-]

Yes, this episode was amazing - as are all the others! Thanks for the reading and comments :)

[@davidschaftenaar6530]

Despite the fact that, yes, it's a very dumb idea for Ned to say Robert would enjoy going to war with Tywin... I bet he's absolutely right in saying that.

[@alexanderf8451]

The philosophy thing you're thinking of is deontology. Kant was notably unclear about what the actual rules ought to be, which is something of a problem when the rules are all that matters.

[@noahmay7708]

We aint talking bout teeth here buddy

[@Drevo103179]

Poor Ned

[@Kriegerdammerung]

"Lisa needs brackets!"

[@jake51479]

To be fair to Pycelle, isn't rest actually good for recovery?

[@ythandlename]

He was suppose to be doing more. All he probably did was prescribe milk of the poppy like a small time drug dealer and told Ned to rest while he could've hasten the healing with medicine other than just painkillers. Either that or he was always a conniving incompetent who got to where he was by scheming.

[@miketrujillo3677]

@@ythandlename imagine pycelle never earned a single maester chain and was raised through the ranks by nepotism and just gives out opium to everyone with any problem

[@mah7999]

Peter Lannister theories confirmed!!!

[@ravensthatflywiththenightm7319]

45:52 Title Drop

[@ZacharyHavenor]

Could it be that the white hart was liana stark and the boar was cerci? I know I spelled the names wrong.

[@zregoob]

(for future refrence; Lyana and Cerci. You're all good) I appreciate the idea of that symbolism, though I personally find Lyana to be far more... predatorial than a White Hart? She was known as the She Wolf, even at 16. Though, perhaps her being represented as a White Hart was to show the life that Robert was always chasing; that she would become a stag when she married him. Meh, back to the laundry lol. I'll think on it some more.

[@lurksnitchtongue8986]

@@zregoob Its actually Lyanna and Cersei

[@Aaron3502]

How come you treat R+L=J like it's not confirmed? Didn't the GoT showrunners have to correctly answer the question of Jon's parentage to even produce the show?

[@zregoob]

Well, there were several theories on it for so long, and now that the show at least confirms it (/shrug/ at any point in time GRRM could just change his mind and be like; it was Bessie and her Tits all along!!! Word of God trumps all), Alt is enjoying looking back to find any nuggets of evidence that support R+L=J, and though those are overwhelming, thus far it is not confirmed in the books themselves?? I think?? So, since Alt is an active reader, he is leaving it open. Plus, this is only book one, therefore everything is open ended.

[@TheRealZeke2003]

The criticism of Batman's philosophy is pretty shallow. This is how you get Snyder reimaginations

[@deedit4666]

Man, listening to one episode of you takes me longer than to read the actual chapter.

[@QueenDaenerysTargaryen]

No one will take my dragons.

[@iSlack01]

If a Neddy breaks a leg...

[@faisalkamal4319]

Actually is more like you play the got you win or you brood in a castle

[@Ghostwalker2061]

You know, there is various other theories around, and one of them is basically how Ned wonders if Cat would kill Jon to save her children. And though I do subscribe to the R+L=J thoery, because it's the one that seems to have the most evidence backing it, another theory which is N+A=J, aka, Ned and Ashara having Jon rather than Rhaegar and Lyanna having Jon...it hinges upon Ned's thoughts at this moment. The idea that Ned and Ashara actually got married, had sex, she became pregnant with Jon...and then Ned was told to give it up in order to marry Cat after Brandon dies to secure the Tully alliance. The theory goes that if Ned was married to Ashara, and then had to marry Cat, according to this theory, Cat's children through Ned are all bastards, and Jon is Ned's true born son. And how these supporters of this theory then view Ned's thoughts as this. If Cat were to find out that Jon is Ned's only legitimate son and all the children Ned had with Cat were all bastards, to protect them, she would kill Jon. It is an interesting theory, and I do not subscribe it. But it is an interesting theory. Oh, and the theory also supports as to why the Black Fish left Riverrun. Because he was pissed that Ned was forced to marry Cat annul it with Ashara. If divorce is even possible in Westeros.

[@Shadowplay4Cats]

It’s been a while but I thought ned married cat real quick, got her pregnant with robb, and then went off to war and then came back with jon..

[@01Sunshine234]

What a breathtakingly good chapter! You said it all. Oh, and the first two episodes of GOT Abridged were great! I actually thought that when you started seeming a little more in your senses and stopped going off on tangents, it actually got a little bit more boring. More enjoyable in some ways, but more boring. This chapter is very heavy, and better suited to the feel of these slightly more thought-provoking, slower episodes of GOT Abridged, but I think certain other chapters are better for the kind of nonsense that you were partaking in for the early episodes.

[@so-um7dm]

Gotta disagree with the tywin take. He doesn't actually care about anyone who's not of use to him and he probably just said that to shut everyone up

[@MrLogi5]

It's a scwifty life Neddy boy

[@faisalkamal4319]

What would john do Apparently drink poison wine

[@ajae...]

Would Ned protect his children at the expense of other children? No. He didn't ensure that Arya and Sansa were safely out of King's Landing before confronting Cersai, who he already suspected in twice attempting to murder his son. In the show Lyanna saying "promise me, Ned" was repeatedly emphasized. After everything Ned has done I wonder if protecting Jon Snow and keeping his identity hidden had more to do with his honoring his promise than Jon's life. Catlyn knowing his true identity might have served as protection from her had she had to make a choice to sacrifice his life to save Robb's when they were little. It seems as if her animosity toward him made the believable, but it could it weakened the family.

[@faisalkamal4319]

If the letter even exist

[@Buddy-Dale]

almost always our first response to something is how we actually feel about said something. especially if we've been drinking. just saying

[@divelostmind]

man i'd have taken that deal to bed cercei

[@faisalkamal4319]

You should sleep everyone - pycelle

[@Maltesfilm]

I can understand Batman. I too would let millions die before I would ever kill our schwifty boi or Glimbus.

[@Maltesfilm]

Now that Alt Shift guy on the other hand…

[@sffrnndzn]

IS Sandor's hatred for Gregor that well-known? I thought only Sansa knew about the depth of their fucked up relationship.

[@hairlessoyster3689]

I think its common knowledge in King's Landing. When the Two Biggest Guys in a Room don't Like Each Other, Every person of breeding age within Sniffing Distance can smell it.Pheromones and Shit. Its exactly what imminent danger smells like.All those years in King's Landing of them spewing stink glands at each other,,;:; Sandor's Unbridled hatred for Gregor and Gregor's Psychopathy would be Smelled. Welcome Sofia.

[@krloz7493]

Ned +ashara = Jon, all the way!

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

This comment has aged poorly. It's never too late to hop on the H + A train.

[@warmike]

​@@fuzzydunlop7928H standing for?

[@faisalkamal4319]

Yep I agree if joff was good bloke he would hide it for the good of the realm

[@diego-lima]

What a chapter! Shame Ned's head departed from his neck way too soon. It would've been awesome to see him in the battlefield. Seeing young Ned fighting in the tower of joy was already awesome. His fight with Jamie was so so. Not much to ask for, right #hbo ?

[@marktravor4082]

none of the other episodes are at all shit, many of us will affirm

[@sadiomayonnaise5318]

What if littefinger is only scheming to take over the realm so he can united the 7 kingdoms to fight the Others. Savior Peter baelish 🙏

[@betteryou7hanme]

The Pete that was promised.

[@urrigongreyjoy]

I'm sorry how is Ned a cuck in this scenario? Does this mean something else in Aussie-land?

[@ravensthatflywiththenightm7319]

Way too many ads on this video. Anywho glad you brought up the stupidity of standard issue Batman. It truly baffles me that that particular character's got hordes of drooling imbecile fans who think the No Kill rule is a brilliant idea.

[@TheRealZeke2003]

Yes a better world would be if Vigilantes go around killing people with zero accountability. I mean only a very stupid person wouldn't want to live in such a world.

[@bobbaganooch2843]

Why The FUCK was this left out of the show... This is one of the most epic scenes i've heard.

[@Galvatronover]

Technically it wasn’t

[@noahmay7708]

Its in the show

[@55bueller]

Stick Em' With the pointy question!

[@cathsaigh2197]

Tywin would switch the tracks every time if there was some random baby on the other track, but if it was Lannister pride or Jaime he'd let the train mow down billions before switching.

[@SoCal818]

31:08 you talk about how in the show Cersei was broken up about the death of her and Robert's baby, but what she actually says is that ROBERT was beyond consoling and he was punching holes in the wall or something like that. Cersei isn't as sympathetic of a character as people make her out to be, she's a pretty horrific monster.

[@scambroselauntrellus3681]

In this episode of AGOT abridged Schwift calls Batman a soft-cocked Kantian idealist.

[@rachet9035]

He sure gets around a lot for someone “soft-cocked”. Also, I’ll never understand why so many people would prefer that an unaccountable billionaire run around acting as judge, jury AND executioner. Apparently, they want a masked vigilante to decide who deserves to live or die. Who cares about the right to a trial by jury, am I right? Somehow it’s Batman’s fault, not the Gotham legal authorities who inexplicably continue to accept pleas of insanity from proven mass murderers, instead of just giving them the death penalty. It’s not like any of Gotham’s citizens would argue against it. I know Batman wouldn’t stand in the way of a criminal being given the death penalty, if it was done by an actual judge and all proper due process was followed. He doesn’t give any indication of wanting to intervene, when it’s announced on the news at the start of Batman: Arkham Origins, that Calendar Man is being executed that very night. A lot of the criticisms directed at Batman as a character, only actually apply to the superhero comic genre in general. Specifically, refusing to kill off popular characters, because keeping them around for future storylines means more money.

[@DrBoofenstein]

Cersei: WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!!!