GAY DOCTOR REACTS TO CONVERSION THERAPY | Psychiatry Doctor Analyzes Gay Conversion Therapy [Vice]

[@oliyuprimizhu1326]

"the parts don't fit" "Oh, honey they do." XD haha thank you for that!

[@scotth8828]

you beat me to it!

[@gantref9202]

This part made my day, was not expecting to laugh at any point in this video haha

[@CarryOnChronically]

came here to say this lol

[@Aisha_Luv]

@L Train45 ever heard of ~*fingers*~

[@TheSkafec]

That line had me on the floor laughing.

[@alistaircaradec2180]

"Oh, honey, they do." XD

[@MrJohnycomelately21]

I laughed out loud at this point.

[@keithkibanoff5503]

I lost it when u said that HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂

[@AP-ex6qz]

I'm so glad you brought this topic up. I too was forced to go to a Conversion therapy that was run by a Psychiatrist who was in fact a Registered Medical Practitioner. He had hounded on multiple kids like me. I am 25 now, I am studying to become a Psychiatrist myself, in the UK. The world needs better Psychiatrists and I'm going to be the person I wanted when I was a kid.

[@emilyday3211]

You are the type of person very much needed in our mental health system good luck to you with everything you do

[@Loveu-re5me]

@@emilyday3211 I agree

[@WeirdHeather]

I’m so sorry you had that forced on you as a child, you deserved better. I wish you every success for the future x

[@MerelvandenHurk]

I admire your resilience and your dedication to make things better so, so, so much. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being who you are. I am so sorry you had to go through that experience, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but it makes me glad to see that you are the kind of person who, after having suffered personal trauma, turns it into a driver to make sure none of that ever has to happen to anyone else ever again. The world needs more people like you, and not just in psychiatry. We need more people like you who have the love and compassion it takes to make such a decision. Some people (too many, unfortunately) process their suffering by passing that suffering on to others - hurt people hurt people - but some, like you, have such compassion for others that it powers you to change things. I can't thank you enough for being who you are. I wish you all the best in your endeavors!

[@AP-ex6qz]

@@MerelvandenHurk Thank you so much for your comments. I'm feeling inspired as ever 😇❤️🙏🏻☺️

[@mandipandi303]

One of my friends was sent to conversion therapy when I was young. He tried to kill himself when he got home. He told me what happened there and it was literal torture. No exaggeration. And people wonder why I never came out to my family and haven't spoken to them in 4 years. If I had been honest with my family about my sexual orientation, I would've been in that camp right along with him.

[@emmajones8715]

They should be allowed to use the word therapy... there is no therapy happening in those places. I hope you and your friend are doing well now x x

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

Wow thats awful. Really sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I think there are many stories of that around the world that are still happening to this day

[@mandipandi303]

@@DoctorElliottCarthy My friend is doing well now. It's been nearly 18 years, and he's had quite a bit of time away from his family to heal. I'm grateful that it's now illegal for minors in Colorado where I am. Our governor is gay and one of his first actions was to ban conversion therapy on minors, but it's still available for adults and that makes me sad.

[@seand.g423]

Hey, you're not burning down a camp, it's just good forestry... Hint-hint...

[@JaredJonesAZ]

If homosexuality is a social construct, so is heterosexuality and we are all bi

[@AP-ex6qz]

Very true. We are all in the spectrum. Sometimes few of us in the respective far ends. But mostly within the spectrum.

[@michaelwolf8690]

Legitimately both religion and psychology are social constructs. Different avenues of human-created ideology use to define our humanity. Our sexual preference is much more inherent to our nature than either of those.

[@dougn2350]

I'm not the least bit bi. Women do nothing for me.

[@ganii1804]

nice try, freud

[@evilolivias]

Based

[@davidvanhorn2493]

Videos like this are so hard to watch but so necessary, the idea that people out there persecute others and try to mentally torture them is a horrible one to think about

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

It's a hard topic. I actually dont think most of these people have a malicious or sinister intent, but are probably struggling with the same issues that people go to these camps in the first place for. They're a symptom of the societal homophobia but one of many I suspect

[@donovanb9020]

"Oh honey, they do." Eeeeeyyyyy. That's my guy! 😎

[@Loveu-re5me]

I know right I was like 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤟🤟🤟yesssssssssdd

[@haimchild6605]

"honey we need to talk, they fit fine"😂😂😂I'm living for this Doctor😂😂😘

[@Loveu-re5me]

Me to I laughed plus I was like I agree🤟🤟🤘🤘🤘😊😊😊😊

[@ILIKEOTTERS]

Hey Elliot, you should do a video on autism speaks and how horrible they are. Also, they support an organization that uses shock therapy on autistic people.

[@orochi5004]

That sounds like a huge trigger for me, ngl.

[@MerelvandenHurk]

Yes, that would be great! As an autistic person I want to offer any and all help I can give, maybe by sharing my personal experiences with my autism or just a sounding board or whatever. Any way I can help

[@ViraL_FootprinT.ex.e]

Omg, that's messed up.

[@goldieprawn2843]

Yep. A horrifying amount of autism 'treatment' programs are actually conversion programs. It's completely inhumane.

[@hazelhoggan7190]

I hadn't heard of this WTF. Surely that would be illegal

[@epicurius1]

It seems to me that, to the extent there's more promiscuity and "one night stands" and so on in the gay community than the straight community, one of the things that contributes to that is homophobia and lack of societal support for gay long term relationships. If you live in a society where you know you'll suffer ostracism, discrimination, legal consequences and maybe even physical harm for being gay, which was very much the case in places like the US and UK until recently (and in a lot of ways, still is), it's much safer in immediate terms to have anonymous sex with someone you'll never see again. You can hide that. It's much harder to hide a long term relationship with someone, knowing if your relationship comes out you could be disowned, lose your job, lose your home, etc. Meanwhile, among straight couples, monogamy and long term relationships are not just accepted, but promoted and celebrated. Look at the immensely profitable wedding industry, or celebrations of couples who have been married for 50 years, and so on. So if these people are unhappy with the amount of promiscuity in the gay community, it seems like their most effective tactic to stop it would be to celebrate gay relationships and fight against homophobia and discrimination.

[@martinmaguire-music6692]

Also in a gay one night stand there's no risk of pregnancy. I always thought that was something to do with it but I might just be speculating.

[@michaelwolf8690]

Not just promoted and celebrated but oppressed. As a bi male figuring out what I wanted from a life partner wasn't simple, and my family never missed a chance to prod me about how I should be getting married and starting a family as early as my teens.

[@kallistiX1]

I honestly think the problem is actually a little more fundamental. Literally. The UK and US have pretty puritanical views on sex and sexuality, with a strong inclination towards conservatism. The idea of people having sex solely for personal pleasure is anathema to many folks. Marriage, long-term relationships, and monogamy are the only way many people are comfortable with expressions of sex. Those industries and beliefs that surround the notion that these are things to strive for - and the implication that something is wrong with you if you can't get that or don't want it - really tell you all you need to know about how society feels about how sex should be seen. Marriage is the most important day of your life; Monogamy is sacrosanct; Long-term relationships are the most fulfilling etc. All of which you are meant to do while you are young and productive. I think this is further compounded by the fact that to be acceptable, LGBT+ folk needs to be seen as being the same as straight people in as many ways as possible (which to me defeats the purpose of acceptance or even tolerance. For example, I may have many things in common with white folks but I don't want people to TREAT me as if I am not Black; I simply don't want to be penalized for being a Black person) to be seen as people, to begin with. So many LGBT+ folks find themselves internalizing and then shaming others for not conforming to these unexamined notions. I think the real work is much more basic: let's recognize that there isn't anything inherently wrong with non-monogamy, sex between consenting adults should be their business alone and whatever kind of relationships consenting adults want, the only real concern should be the wellbeing of the parties involved.

[@Silkenray]

I’m a bi woman who wasn’t the direct target of these sorts of things growing up, but I had to conceal the non-hetero side of my identity even from myself for most of my childhood because of a combination of internalised homophobia and having seen what non-straight-passing people in my community and in my church went through. This kind of treatment has ripple effects. It’s indirectly destructive to closeted people, straight-passing people, and people who are trying to get a grip on what their identity is.

[@emo_jester69]

as a gay teenager i personally haven't gone to conversion therapy it was a sort of 'social conversion therapy' everyone in my school would just hammer into especially the males that me being gay was wrong and going against gods will whatever that meant. this made me 'act straight' i would be more 'masculine' i had girlfriends(who both turned out to also be gay) all in an effort to appease the bullying and fit in. lol love the UK

[@lynxgoddess]

Sorry for bringing up an old comment, but this rings so true to me. I'm trans and didn't fully understand what I was fighting for during my younger years (since I only had the Hollywood trans identities of the 90s and early 00s to inform me, which are not actual trans identities but a demonisation of them). I too was bullied constantly for breaking the masculinity norms and being "unmanly", turns out there's a reason I didn't fit the mold. But the social pressure to conform is really destructive, even when it isn't the case of a systematic "therapy" involved. I hope you have escaped your past in the ways you need to and that you have found your life as it should be! Much love! Also, cudos to you for helping your lesbian sisters cope - and to them for helping you. Even though we both wish it hadn't been called for.

[@emo_jester69]

@@lynxgoddess thank you xx

[@miriamweller812]

What overall makes zero sens, since you are literally born that way, so when you believe in god, it's god who created you that way. Overall just typical nonsense from peopel who got zero clue what they are talking about.

[@emo_jester69]

@@miriamweller812 nice dude real coherent comment

[@x3janna95]

I'm all here for your LGBTQIA+ content, thank you so much for speaking up and educating your following! And thank you for speaking up not only on gay but also trans issues!

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

My pleasure. Thanks for supporting the channel 🙂

[@ikarabout]

So glad to see this content. I was sent to conversion therapy at my church ten years ago this month and it was horrific. So relieved to know people are fighting against this brutal practice.

[@WeirdHeather]

I’m literally shouting “straight people do that to” at the screen all the same times you were. It makes me so sad that people still can’t accept that love is a beautiful thing, regardless of which gender the participants are. I feel like if God really is the God of love as people say, then he would feel the same, and would bless you. ♥️

[@jacoblogan5903]

I would highly recommend the documentary “Believer” by the band imagine dragons. It talks a lot about the Mormon church’s homophobia, and the turmoil gay Mormons go through where their religion and sexuality are at war.

[@Aisha_Luv]

Woahhh, I had no idea! I love their music!

[@deupree29]

Where can I find this documentary to stream

[@leereed9834]

Oh sweetheart, I love you, thank you. Im not clinical but I do work in the health service. I ran a focus group a little while ago and one of the comments was "I don't have poor mental health; I have poor mental health because the world won't allow me to be trans". That really stuck with me. Also, which you may appreciate... "How many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but you need seven clinicians to confirm that the room is dark." 😁 Keep doing what you're doing, my lovely. 😘

[@Boyce6-t]

When you mentioned about people who are unhappy that’s just them projecting themselves onto you is 100% true. I learned this the hard way

[@nicophill58]

While all aspects of the conversion "therapy" are horrendous, I find the repeated emphasis on normal/ity to be particularly awful. The assumption that there is a normal, an universal baseline, of human sexuality is ridiculously false* and automatically creates a separation between sexualities. Yet I find in most discussions around sexualities, this baseline "normality" of heterosexuality is maintained especially in discussions of inclusivity - the idea that people who had been excluded from "normal" society (e.g. heterosexual society) would want to be included back within the same society is peculiar to me (but that's just one asexual's opinion). *not to mention a direct product of Western scientific thinking

[@karwansewe]

Thanks for uploading the video. " can I get an amen?" amen !!!

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

Amen!

[@shanigribben9158]

Have you watched the movie, But I'm A Cheerleader? It's about a conversion camp but it's really sweet and funny

[@snoovian7951]

Hey, found your channel from the Bojackhorseman analysis and so glad to find out you're a fellow LGBTQ! Love your content, I'm fortunate enough to have pretty good mental health but whenever I feel stressed your videos help me feel better :)

[@FrancisMetal]

7:45 the best part of this video. Anglican church, Waldesian Church, most of European Lutheran Churches, Old-Catholic of Utrecht Church are INCLUSIVE with all, also with women, gay, trans and queer

[@toramenor]

Thanks for this video. Instant subscribe from me. It needs to be said over and over again, until everybody finally gets it, that being gay is not something that needs to be fixed.

[@edbehn3617]

I'd love to see your take on the movie "But I'm a Cheerleader." It's a fictional film about a teenage girl who attends a "conversion therapy" camp. It's very much a dark comedy.

[@johngingras]

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 Love your videos!

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

Thaaaaanks and love the rainbow hearts

[@SuperRand13]

The weird thing is i've heard of religious leaders Condemning people transitioning their gender while also promoting Gay conversion. It's almost like changing "who God made you" is wrong only when it doesn't align with their beliefs.

[@twiddle7125]

I love your channel so much. I think a lot of people think, "Oh, we've made a lot of progress, everything is fine for gays now." But, rather than true progress, I think society has just made it unacceptable to voice and act on prejudices instead of eliminate them. Indeed, eliminating them is probably a pipe-dream, but the danger here becomes that people who think that they're not prejudiced and society is accepting become complacent. So when members of the LGBT community say, "Hey, we have a problem here. This thing isn't right," people are less inclined to be outraged at injustice and dismiss it as the fringe group that just happens to be overly vocal. In essence they think, "Oh come off it, everything is fine, there's no prejudice or stigma anymore. That's all in the past." We need a lot more things to change. In addition, perhaps, for example, things are better for kids in school now *in some places* but a lot of places in the US South are just as bad as they ever were. We can't rest on our laurels because we selectively see progress in *some* areas. We must strive for equality for ALL, EVERYWHERE.

[@tahraethestoryteller6079]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@tahraethestoryteller6079]

What pisses me off as a Native American is that there are conversion camps in places like South Dakota (where my dad’s from) home of the Lakota tribe, where the gay people were originally celebrated as me accepted. And Native parents sent there kids to said camps (especially in the late 20th century) smh 😠😡🤬😤

[@kyleenglot9184]

I'm Canadian, but both the U.S.A and Canada have a horrid history with treatment of indigenous cultures. Over the last couple years there has been a terrible uncovering of unmarked graves of young innocent children who died on Canadian residential schools and never returned to their families they were forcefully taken from. I'm not Indigenous myself. But it's not particularly the fault of the current Lakota generations for treating sexuality and gender identity the way they do. Generations upon generations of Native cultures were forced to go to schools run by both government and the Catholic Church designed specifically to turn everyone into white Christian traditions. I know there is more of a movement these days for North American Indigenous groups to reclaim the two spirit communities which was supposedly a very important and sacred understanding upon many Native tribes.

[@acabcor]

7:34 You are absolutely right in saying that constantly changing partners is not something exclusive to homosexuals. In fact, I have known many heterosexual men and women who suffer from this type of compulsive behavior to change partners and they all stemmed from the trauma of being abandoned by their parents. But what remains true is that if a person cannot stop changing partners, it is because something is wrong in his emotional world.

[@dontdrinktapwater6194]

Just because you haven't gotten a homosexual attraction doesn't mean it's a social construct. I haven't gotten a heterosexual attraction all my life and I'm not out here saying that heterosexuality is a social construct.

[@emilyday3211]

The fact that this is still legal anywhere and that it is even supported by health care professionals infuriates me, thank you for being a public voice standing against awful discrimination and treatment be it people with highly stigmatised mental illnesses or people who regularly experience discrimination as a consequence of their sexual preference or gender identity. Side note I am very impressed with your alcohol collection and your restraint because most of the bottles look pretty full 😂

[@a.kenneth3521]

Here from Dr. Jake to check out this video. ❤️

[@katherinemiller2401]

Thank you for this 💚 absolutely crying my eyes out for these people's pain

[@rhondajohnson8310]

Love.this.channel. I'm a grad student in the counseling field in the US and I love your perspective on the profession and how underrepresented minorities are treated. Thank you for what you do! Very informative

[@youleeahnah]

Thank you for making this video! ❤

[@Kerri36982]

hi Elliott, dont know if you have seen Boy Erased, if not it deals with conversion therapy and is based on a true story. I would love to see you react to it. Another film is Girl Interrupted but not based in conversion therapy but mental health in the 60s and is adapted from Susanna Kaysen's eponymous book about her experiences when she was in a psychiatric hospital.

[@nireus2299]

as a gay born in a very religious family being forced to do this bs was trully my biggest fear

[@diamondwarrior2003]

You’re an amazing psychiatrist, you are a blessing to those who need help, thank you!!!

[@adamwright2396]

when he describes being gay as bloody lovely it's the most English sentence I've heard

[@sarahdean6115]

There's this police tv show that you should watch. It's called Perception and it's about a university professor with schizophrenia who helps his former student (an agent) solves cases. I would love your take on their depiction of schizophrenia ☺️☺️

[@pinsb449]

I literally just binged your videos lol. I was wondering if you would react to scenes from the office. I think it would be pretty humorous.

[@emmajones8715]

Inadequate parenting! Wow my daughter told me at 12 years old that she is gay. I guess I’m a terrible parent then!

[@ghidorahs1fan209]

The man with the red mowhork had me crying

[@iemand2612]

I was watching a documentary about conversion therapy in the 80s and 90s. One woman who was part of such a group, identified as a lesbian before she 'changed' herself. She lost loads of friends to aids and I wonder how that impacted her and her idea of helping people 'convert' to heterosexuality! She's still married to her husband, but she's bisexual and tries to help lgbt people now in a good way

[@internetgal38]

You should react to black mirror. Specifically the episode "white Christmas" lots of psychological stuff to analyze

[@sweet_t811]

On this topic, Id love to see you react to Girl Defined.

[@HybridCOLT]

I got chills hearing the message the survivor at 11:30 mark spoke. And watching it alongside an LGBTQ+ psychologist is just reassuring in everyway. thank you for reacting to this

[@martajansson7953]

Absolutely horrifying that shit like this is still in practice. Thank you for talking about it - great video and input as always 🤍 And happy pride month 🏳️‍🌈

[@mehlover]

It was tough to watch but glad you're watching with us

[@jemimakerr]

you should react to grand army!! particularly joeys storyline (episode 4 onwards) and Dominique’s storyline!!

[@carolchilufya6200]

Love your channel! Thank you for the great work you do😊

[@cameronspalding9792]

@11:02 they did a similar thing for Austistic children at the Judge Rottenburg centre

[@laurenbouhnik]

I never went to conversion therapy. However, I came out to my mother as trans when I was 12 (back in 2003), and she immediately talked to her brother about it (who's a licensed psychiatrist where I live), who then talked to her about "curing" and "fixing" the problem (he's became very religious after getting his M.D). He never used the words "conversion therapy", but that's definitely what he meant. As a frightened 12 year old, I realized that I'd be better off pretending to have fixed the "problem" myself than to actually face the fact I was trans. It took me 17 years to accept what I've known to be true since then and started transitioning at 29. Conversion therapy doesn't only hurt people who undergo it, the mere notion of that existing in the first place can create years of misery all on its own.

[@Mayorofpeepsville]

Being raised Catholic I was the most important thing is that God loves all people and I believe that God would rather have you honest and gay than lying about being straight

[@jamesfleming1155]

Read Dr Helminiac’s book “What the Bible really says about homosexuality” it will change your entire world view of Christianity and homosexuality. He lectured when I was at west Georgia. Basically the VAST majority of Christian scholars acknowledge that the bible does NOT oppose homosexuality.

[@leanlupgens9584]

Great video. Such a hard topic to discuss but oh so very important to do. Thank you! It reminds me of a news article I read a few weeks (I think, time's weird in 2021) of the Dutch government (I'm Dutch) wanting to ban conversion therapy in The Netherlands. Even though the majority of the government agrees, the cabinet is all shady (idk the details of it, I've been very wrapped up in finishing my dissertation and preparing a proper defence to really stay up to date news-wise) about it. They were all "yeah theoretically we agree but practically it's difficult because so much of it happens under religious guises and like religious freedom and shit and we can't do anything about that". Like excuse me, yes you can. it's not "too difficult" to define these types of practices (even when they happen under so-called religious guises), that's your fucking job so go fucking do it Also, it reminded me of all the instances that I, or any of my LGBTQIA+ friends for that matter, have walked down the street in the town where I live, just doing our thing, minding our own business, perhaps holding hands with someone (oh no, (same sex) pda am I right) and being approached by someone telling us that we need God in our lives. And then have the utmost audacity to be offended when told off. It's not nowhere near the league of the bad things that happen during conversion therapy but it is telling of how much still needs to happen and how much people can get away with under the guise of religious freedom.

[@yoshiwot]

Love your videos, very informative and you seem like an awesome guy. You probably know this but Wales just announced a ban on conversation therapy so hopefully the rest of the UK will follow suit

[@seamstressdragon8707]

Hey Elliot, there was an episode on the most recent series of Call The Midwife where a young gay man struggling with his sexuality goes to a gay conversion therapy place. So sad and also set in the 60s when homosexuality was still illegal. Might be worth checking out :)

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

Great shout. Thanks a lot for the tip!

[@katy6896]

Specifically 1966. Spoilers. The man had been avoiding getting treated for something on his back out of fear of the doctor realising he was gay because he'd been working as a prostitute but the call the midwife doctor and nurse try to tell him it's okay to be gay, then rescue him from the place he ran away to when they realised he'd gone there.

[@aaronkneile]

Thank you for posting this!

[@elderberry851]

6:36 omg dr elliott killed me with that line, "oh honey, they do" 😂😂💀 that's too good

[@cosimadittrich8645]

Thank you so much for this video. I just found your channel because of your heartstopper react and now I'm watching your old videos. While I thankfully never experienced conversion therapy I had a negative experience with a therapist. During my first apointment with her I came out as aroace and she kind of suggested that therapy would change that. I'm at a point in my life where I feel confident enough to stand up for myself and say something but it still made me feel bad about myself. I don't want to imagine someone who's not as comfortable or sure in their identity being confronted with something like this. I feel like that's especially true for lesser know identities like asexuality or aromanticism. In fact in the UK out of all cis people asked in the 2017 UK National LGBT Survey iasexual people were most often offered or had undergone conversion therapy.

[@saloire1]

How naive I’ve been. Didn’t realise this stuff was still legal! WTF? Love your response. Honey we need to talk!

[@cahyasatixoxo7207]

Does anyone know at what point this change occurred where pretty much all societies on earth became heteronormative? Many ancient civilizations were openly bisexual so I wonder if there is a particular time you could pinpoint and say that a change started occurring at this time.

[@acabcor]

10:56 The pain these people feel is terrible. They really move me. And I find it so sad that they have to get to this point. If I've learned anything, it's that the best human relationships, I mean the most significant relationships one has with other people, those that mark your life... are never sexual. I really believe that there is a serious confusion and above all an overestimation of the importance of sexuality for the full development of a person. Whether or not you are comfortable with your sexuality, none of it should cause you to suffer this much, because sexuality is but a part of the individual and no individual lives or dies in vain. Everyone is valuable and should know it. It breaks my heart that no one often tells them: Of course their lives are valuable! What's more... ¡They are invaluable! ¡Because they are human beings and human life is sacred!

[@missolympiabinewski]

The episodes of House where he is in a psyc ward would be great.Season 6, Episodes 1 and 2.

[@nektu5435]

What sucks and is terribly back asswards is how some of these purveyors of conversion therapy try to convince lawmakers that a channel such as yours, a video such as this is the real harm to children and society. It's always disheartening when I hear someone say they never vote or take part in politics yet would nonetheless be infuriated by injustices visited upon the LBGTQ+ community. The people responsible for those injustices make sure to vote. It's absolutely vital we help people understand the need to participate and vote. I'm new to your channel and I love your content thus far. Great work!

[@zer0w0lf94]

1:44 - 2:10 "You're worth more than what you can give to other people. You deserve love too." - Mara, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power 6:38 That line cracks me up.

[@md244-w6v]

I am 19 & I am still currently living with my parents, I have come to terms & accepted my bisexuality but for now I know to keep that to myself and friends. My parents are religious, I am not, and to tell them that I am bisexual & that I do not follow their beliefs would be setting myself up for, in my current stage of life, conflict, shame & stress. I know I won’t be accepted by them and that if I told them whilst I was financially dependent on them still - I have no doubt in my mind that they’ll subject me to similar practices in nature to conversion therapy, any and all attempts to fix me and hide me away due to embarrassment. I don’t need that shit, I won’t tell them now but in the future when I am living my own life, it will be them who has to love me and accept me as I am just as I do them, otherwise they will have no place in my life. It’s a sad truth I’ve just had to come to accept but it luckily cause me no stress or anger. I wish the best and all the love for those in a similar position, or for those who simply fear telling their parents of their non-heterosexuality. We aren’t stuck with our biological families, I love and care for mine but I know my real family is out there and I will find others who not only love and care for me but truly accept me as a person.

[@TheresaK71]

Hi Dr Carthy :) I found your channel today and subscribed, your videos are really interesting! Would you consider covering ECT? I feel there are a lot of misconceptions around the therapy, and some are surprised to learn it is still used today.

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

Great idea!

[@erikgilson1687]

My first boyfriend was sent to conversion therapy by his parents soon after we secretly dated when we were 15 and it basically ruined his life and he fell heavily into heroin use for like a decade. I was so angry at his parents.but could do nothing about it

[@corvusclones]

Would be interested in your thoughts on ABA, which is conversion therapy except not only is it considered acceptable, but is one of the primary "treatments" for autism. The ableism within mental health communities lead to us still not being seen as fully human.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

I've been grabbed by the shoulders and shaken and asked why I just cant pretend to be " normal " like everone else as a child. This happened when I was around seven. I had a headache gor a week and bruising. I was doing my best to pretend I was like everyone else. I though it was appropriate to hide when I got hurt, where I was different, and if anything was wrong. I appreciate this video. We've got to get more info available. Masking is toxic and increases likelihood of victimization. We need access to care, compassionate educated care.

[@Adeodatus100]

The one thing I would disagree with here is where you say you can be religious and gay. I was a Christian and a minister for (too many!) years and I'm afraid the Church (of England, in my case) is institutionally queerphobic. At best - and rarely - they'll allow you to exist in relative peace if you role-play as a well behaved heterosexual. As a minister, I faced almost daily homophobia from colleagues and congregation, partly, I think, because I refused to re-enter the closet. These days I tend to describe myself as a survivor of Christianity, and my advice to gay Christians is simple: run.

[@whitewolfy4815]

Thank you for this kind of content

[@facciol]

Had to watch this video in stages, honestly. It breaks my heart that these beautiful people are made to believe that something is wrong with them.

[@MarkHyde]

The torture the survivors went through made me so angry - the ultimate victory was the forgiveness in his own way.

[@carpetlayenful]

As an individual that has extended relationships with both genders and solidarity. I found people on both sides tend to lash out because of their own unhappiness, fears and inadequacies. The idea that people have to identify as a group instead of individuals only makes this worse. Groups have history if becoming immovable while an individual can become disconcerting.

[@PassiveSmoking]

"What is your greatest fear this weekend?" Getting eaten by a bear

[@fleuve4737]

I talked to my previous therapist about my experiences with homophobia (I'm bi) and a couple of times she said: "Yes unfortunately this is how things are for now in our country but all people should be tolerated and understood." So I just assumed that she was at the very least not homophobic. But one time she said that this is a choice (being gay) that should be respected and I corrected her and said that it is actually not, people would not choose out of nowhere to be gay exactly because of the things you might experience. People just are. And imagine she goes:" Well a survey/research from not long ago concluded that only 6% of gay ppl are actually born that way and all the rest have become that way bc of trauma or sexual frustration. And at that moment I cannot believe what I heard, my eyes start to water a lil bit and I go: How did they concluded that, based on what, how do you measure that, how did they go from point A to p B...and she's like: I dunno... I quit her the next day

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

Eugh that's awful. Sorry you had to experience that.

[@ElisPalmer]

Thanks so much ~

[@TamiTea]

I'm very straight passing, mostly i have oposite sex partners, and I didn't really experienced direct homophobia. But I live in a country that is extremly homophobic, my parents accept me, kinda, but they are older people, quite conservative, traditional. I am quite vocal about my orientation and my gender (nb). But I still experience internalised homophobia. I have more of it than the external one. Not only I don't really have in my country a lot of safe spaces for queer people, I wonder how much of my not-many-female partners is me being scared of girl being actively homophobic towards me, or becoming even more obvious "enemy" of society. Watching this is... hard. Especially as conversion therapies are still legal in my country. Recently there was proposed a project that bans Pride Parades, probably even me hanging my pride flag on my window would be seen as "demoralising". We, as society (internationally, internet-society) came a long way, but we still have a long way to go.

[@avigayilb]

I'm clinical director of an outpatient mental health program, and one of the Medicaid managed care providers requested that all our clinicians sign an agreement not to provide conversion therapy. We had no intention of doing so, but it was kind of cool to see that insurance is weighing in, for once, in a really positive way.

[@Anarchist_syndicalist]

Does corticosteroid help tension headache ?

[@summerrose8110]

Love is love, love who you want to(make sure they love you in return).

[@gaildahlas]

I know I'm coming to this late, but that one statement that we are "physically, anatomically designed for the opposite sex" made me physically recoil. As an ace woman, hearing someone say and genuinely believe that I'm "designed for" men is massively unsettling on so many fronts. Reducing anyone to disconnected body parts as though they are the sole purpose for our existence can never lead anywhere bad, right? /s

[@thejavaboy-theocdgamer3688]

“Oh honey, they do” IM DEAD 😂

[@ZackScroggins]

I haven't watched the video yet but felt I would answer the question you posed in the description first. Usually, people don't choose to go to these camps, they're forced into it by their very religious parents. It's truly tragic and thankfully, some states are starting to criminalize forcing people into it. This type of therapy almost always has a "religious" component to it, and sadly, often results in suicide. As a bisexual nb, I'm really glad sometimes that I didn't realize who I was until adulthood. This kind of shit terrifies me and we need to put a stop to it all together. Don't bother siting "religious rights" your rights end where mine begin. There is no cure for homosexuality because homosexuality is not a disease. It's a part of who we are and we were all born this way. We can not be fixed because we are not broken.

[@ZackScroggins]

Just to add on to this real quick, I've been a fan of yours for a few months now and had no idea you were gay. Honestly, it just kind of reaffirms my appreciation for this channel, seeing a member of the LGBT community in such a positive light. Please, keep being your amazing, fabulous self.

[@geha9450]

Please make a video about the science behind wether someone is born gay or not. Werther environmental factors play a role or not.

[@fredphilippi8388]

Excellent presentation! A perfect response to non-affirming Christians Becket Cook and Joseph Nicolosi. Becket Cook would say affirming Christians misunderstand what non-affirming Christians intend today. Faith for them does not alter a person's sexual orientation, it simply enables the gay person to love Christ more than a gay relationship. The person remains gay but celibate by grace. Joseph Nicolosi would say everyone is created heterosexual. Human biology is the proof, as far as he is concerned. Childhood trauma is the usual cause why some people emerge as gay.

[@jnewmark41]

Hello Elliott! Gay licensed psychotherapist here in Washington D.C. I have been doing a deep dive on your videos today.....this is my 8th one! OMG, I am so riveted. I don't usually reply to postings on KZbin, but your content is addictive. I have watched everything from Dahmer to Ratched to Conversion Therapy.... I have given you almost half of my day & I want more!!! I must admit that the Ben Shapiro one really made me reactive. As a fellow Jew, he makes me cringe. It gets worse with each interview. His nasal voice, his arrogance and his "ignorance with conviction" brings out rage in me. Anyway, I feel like I am writing you a letter. All I really want to say is please keep up the good work. Also, your infectious smile and tender eyes are very refreshing to see. I never conflated Forensic Psychiatrist with sensitive and warm-hearted. I am rambling and I will stop here. Love your channel and lots of hugs from D.C.!!! Come visit!!

[@caitlincampbell6101]

Thank you for these videos. Would also love to hear your take on Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) ‘therapy’ for Autistic folks as it was founded by the same person as conversion ‘therapy’ (Ole Ivar Lovaas) and both based on behaviourism. The ‘science’ behind ABA is questionable at best as all reporting is based on parent, teacher, or practitioner reports rather than on experiences of Autistic folks themselves (most of whom characterize ABA as abusive and, in some cases, torture - not dissimilar to conversion ‘therapy’ tactics) and behavioural changes are highly context bound (meaning they only occur in the same context in which they were ‘trained’). I would love to hear your take on this aspect of neurodiversity and the harm that continues to be perpetrated by ABA & organizations that condone it, like Autism Speaks. Love your videos and your compassionate & inclusive take on mental health! ❤️

[@themiddleones11]

My parents sent me to a therapist that did conversion therapy on the side at 14 Thank GOD she wouldn't do it without my permission and I actually got a little bit of real help for the depression I was also facing at the time. My parents still don't accept me, but I've got the rest of my family and friends who do accept me. We need an overall ban on conversion therapy and any therapist who has that mindset needs to get a new job or learn how to actually be helpful. ❤🏳️‍🌈

[@martinmaguire-music6692]

It's times like this I'm glad I turned out bi. The worst I seem to get is being accused of not existing. But I do feel a weird shame about the gay part of me, and I know I shouldn't. It's mental really, because my friends and family would be very supportive if I had a boyfriend, but I don't know, I think there's some weird idealisation about the 'other sex' that got buried in me when I was young and I can't get it out. Also I'm an introvert and camp men are intimidating lol. Just rambling/sharing my experience over here.

[@SSaNNEE100]

I agree that there are churches that welcome gay people with open heart. My problem though as an atheist is just that religions don’t have any evidence to backup their claims. Therefore I have zero interest in religion, not because I am gay, just because I do not think a rational person can believe in higher power, claim to care about facts but has flawed reasoning for their belief that is built on centuries old texts that lack epistemology understanding how we know something is and isn’t just because someone said so.

[@crkwhr1]

“I’m a big fan of Vice.” Aren’t we all.

[@generichuman2044]

The reason LGBT+ people have more casual sex and a culture around it is because of stigma. For most of human history the only contact people could have was casual and secretive sex. Being seen with a same sex partner or dressing in stereotypically opposite gender clothing was what made you a target. It's slowly changing as acceptance rises.

[@SSaNNEE100]

That’s true. Even my country had this one park in the capital city where gays would meet at night and have a little fun in the bushes. No one knew who were the gays so they had made this place to be so if you’re a man sitting on a bench in this park at 2am you most likely are there to have fun. (Note: it is not usual for people to sit in parks at 2am here so it makes sense why they had this technique. As much as the awareness and acceptance is rising it is still quite slow. Here it was only 53 years ago that homosexuality was still illegal… there is also this apathetic attitude among people where they think raising lgbtq awareness is ”shoving shit down their throats” and anti-lgbtq harassing is in rise. It is weird that lgbtq is referred as pandemic - a way to make gays new norm over heterosexuality, yet we are only about 10% of the world population. Pride has still lots of work to do so this apathetic attitude can be fixed. Our so callied ”allies” can say shit like ”I don’t care if you’re gay or not. Just don’t shove it down out throats” which is still this history long problem with gays only being allowed in private. That needs to change for real.

[@sloth_on_speed3494]

"The parts simply dont fit" "Oh honey they do!" killed me

[@k.s.k.7721]

I appreciated the comment on being able to find a church that accepts gay members. Go to any Unitarian Universalist Church and there is an accepting community for atheists, believers of any religion, as well as members of the LGBTQ+ community. The UU Churches officially recognized and performed gay weddings in the US as early as 1974. They are extremely welcoming.

[@alenkapiotrowicz5508]

Love your videos! Have a sister-in-law who is married to a wonderful woman since many years. Sadly father-in-law is not happy, often makes snide remarks. My husband and I, as well as our kids are always defending them. Showed them your channel and they loved it! Everyone is perfect the way they are! Thank you for raising awareness and also putting I smile on our faces! ☺️

[@DoctorElliottCarthy]

Thank you so much and love to your sis and their partner (and to you and your fam for championing equality). Comments like this are what keep me motivated to make videos so thank you