Gender Neutral & Inclusive Signs | Queer ASL Ponderings

I've seen this topic going around a lot lately, so I thought I'd make a video. There won't be a blog post, since it's all about the signs themselves.
Timecodes of signs
They (singular) - 0:40
Distinguished guests - 1:59
Partner/sweetheart - 2:04
Cousin - 2:56
Nibling (nephew/niece) - 3:01
Sibling - 3:09
Parent - 3:12
Grandparent - 3:29
Spouse - 3:33
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[@scarmariayoung5629]

as a future ASL interpreter who’s an enby, i’m deeply grateful for this video and for you validating they/them pronouns!!!!

[@somecallmelyte6173]

Dude same!!!!

[@FImMbO]

Today I saw "spouse" signed where the dominant hand started at the heart. I thought that was such a cute option!

[@RoganShannon13]

I've seen that too! I saw it after making this video though, if I'd seen it before I would've included it in this!

[@LokrowN]

This was super interesting!! Thank you so much!! Also in English I've seen "Nibling" going around as a non-gendered alternative to Niece/nephew

[@RoganShannon13]

Thank you for watching! I'm aware :) I remembered it after I made the video, oh well.

[@mathieubarnes5324]

I love this so much! Thank you for advocating for the LGBTQ+ community and non-binary identities in your videos! So thankful to have these signs at my disposal now. :)

[@benjireil4243]

hey, as a nonbinary hearing person, i found this video helpful, and would loved to see more like it in the future!

[@onefluffyredpanda1909]

I’m a hearing student learning ASL, and my class’s lesson content is very binary. I was scared to actually ask my teacher for help finding neutral signs, so thank you so much for this video!!

[@RoganShannon13]

Thanks for sharing, I'm glad this was helpful!

[@rileykenway]

Lots of people have already commented about “nibling,” but I must say I’m partial to “chibling” (child of sibling). Similarly, I’ve seen a neutral alternative to aunt/uncle be “parling” (parent’s sibling). As for spouse, I’ve always just signed without even touching my head (so just “married” I guess), but I figure your neutral version would be the version I should use when I give speeches, eh! And I dig the tidbit about Auslan using the same sign for spouse/husband/wife. Thanks for making videos like this, I live in an area with next to no Deaf community (I was mainstreamed and have a hearing family) and only one or two other Deaf students at my (very small) college are queer, so it’s nice to have access to a channel where these topics are discussed!

[@RoganShannon13]

I've never seen chibling! That's interesting. I've also seen pibling as an alternative to aunt/uncle, but it doesn't have the same ring. The way you do it works too! That might be a better way to make sure there's no misunderstanding of where the hand is touching. That's the whole reason I make these videos!

[@eenewell]

Hello! Thank you for creating this video. I am studying ASL and my teacher recommended your video when I asked him "what about non-binary/gender neutral terms?" after class last week. He subsequently shared your video with the whole class. Thanks again for being awesome and helping to promote inclusivity everywhere.

[@Iamtk777]

Thank you so much for your videos. I am trying to learn ASL, and I really appreciate you taking the time to make these things known.

[@perpetualpages]

Thank you so much for these signs! I've thought a lot about the lack of a gender neutral term for aunt/uncle and niece/nephew in English, and I hope we can find those terms in the future. I love your suggestion of modifying traditionally gendered signs by placing the signs in the middle area. Thanks again for this fantastic video! 🌈🌈🌈

[@RoganShannon13]

Like so many people have commented, there's nibling for niece/nephew. Someone said there's also chibling (child of sibling). And there's pibling or parling for aunt/uncle. It's still a work in progress for sure.

[@looshandnugget]

Thank you! I am just starting and ASL class and I want to be able to communicate about myself properly so this in helpful.

[@beataacademics6358]

I’m a non-binary hearing person currently learning ASL, and the program I’m learning through is very gendered. Thank you for teaching me about these terms :)

[@RoganShannon13]

Yay! This is exactly why I make videos like this :)

[@theshadowssystem2984]

This is incredibly helpful to a family full of nonbinary, gender nonconforming, and lgbt ASL users. Thank you so much your video is a lifesaver for us

[@rittj.1303]

It's not a really well known or popular thing, but I've seen nibling used for gender neutral neice/nephew. It's like sibling, but with the n from the other words. I'm sure someone will come up with a better word, though. Great video! And thank for these signs! I've thought that it made sense to sign gender neutral around the eyes, so I'm glad to see others think that too.

[@RoganShannon13]

I've seen nibling before, I couldn't think of the term until after I'd finished everything! It's in my description for the timecode :P I've also seen pibling as a suggested neutral term for aunt/uncle (parent's sibling), but I like it even less than nibling.

[@alexandrastephens9204]

Learning ASL currently and was wondering about this. Thank you!

[@jamisimmons9440]

Using this video for my high school ASL students - thank you!

[@lolymop333]

Thank you! I've just todag started to learn ASL and wanted to know how to refer to myself! 💜

[@greeneo]

I love this info thatnk you! Very helpful for someone like myself learning ASL and also being non-binrary. @ 3:10 mins in FYI: The gender neutral word for niece or nephew is already in the dictionary and is 'nibbling'

[@w0rmery867]

this was lovely, i'm learning asl and am trans myself so was wondering about gender neutral signs. i thought it might be something like signing in the middle of the face, so it's cool to see that that's what people are doing!

[@mackenzielauffer6825]

Hello! This is my first video of yours I have seen! you are such a beautiful signer! I am hearing and learned ASL in high school and still use it 7 years later but not as often! I love to watch creators who are deaf to keep up and keep my brain practicing reading sign. Thank you for being apart of this amazing community!

[@amitviktorcourreges9721]

Thank you my twin and their partner are gender neutral and we were having difficulty using sign to introduce them and because the Deaf Community up here is mostly older they honestly didn’t know

[@kittiecandy747]

as an enby learning sign language this was really helpful and meaningful to me thank you

[@ameliaarguello3243]

Thank you for all your hard work ❤️

[@AylaSkyrider]

thank you so much!!! HoH here, i used a combined brother-sister sign with my friend for sibling, but i like the neutral much better!! faster and easier. i will try next time we are together!

[@RoganShannon13]

The combined brother-sister works if you're talking about multiple siblings, and is a sign used by many people for that purpose! Doesn't really work when it's an individual, hence the cheekbone sign.

[@notcishet]

Thanks for the video! Was this inspired by the recent ASL THAT! post by Deanne Bray? I saw you comment in there :p PS, “nibling” is the English term for a neutral version of niece/nephew. Obviously not extremely caught on to outside of trans circles, but I’ve been really happy to see it popping up in random places on the internet, in non-LGBT discussions!

[@notcishet]

Whoops, I now see many people have already commented about “nibling” and you are well aware of its existence lol

[@RoganShannon13]

Somewhat, yes! There's also another video by Evan Hibbard that discusses the signs for parent, sibling, and cousin. But that's it, and it was three minutes just for that. I wanted to have more terms in about the same length video, and add "they" plus a couple other things. Yup :)

[@person9597]

I know this was made 3 years ago but as a person who is currently learning asl and has a teacher who only teaches the binary signs, i thank you

[@errantstars8294]

lol i think he knows the word is nibling now :P

[@carpianasparlanchinas]

I'm deeply greatful 🤟 Blessings!!!

[@sylviafullerton3375]

These are so great, I love this!! I'm in an ITP and my ASL professor actually brought up and recommended gender-neutral PARENT and COUSIN to our class so those terms are definitely spreading rapidly! Have you seen people sign SHARE+PERSON for partner? I'm partnered to a genderqueer person and asked about expressing the concept of gender-neutral partner and was told by local Deaf folks that SHARE+PERSON was the best sign--maybe just a regionalism? Also!! I saw a speech by Roberta Cordano the current Gallaudet president where she signed SPOUSE starting from the heart rather than near the head which I thought was a really pretty sorta poetic variation!

[@RoganShannon13]

I'm glad to see that's being taught! I have seen that sign for partner, I'm not sure if it's regional or not. Problems of having gone to an university on the east coast and having friends from all over the country! Ooh, I like that! It gives more meaning to the sign as well!

[@BeesAndSauce]

Thank you so much for this video!! I’m taking an ASL class right now and my school provided me with a signing dictionary, but I couldn’t find gender neutral signs anywhere!

[@nymeria941]

I really like the sign for “sweetheart.” As a bi person, I like to use gender neutral terms because it keeps the queerness centered in my relationship, which is often presumed to be straight. As for gender neutral terms for niece and nephew, the closed thing I can think of is the Latin word “nepos”, which means “descendant” and can be used for nieces, nephews, and grandchildren. Not a perfect solution, but it’s a start, and I think it could be a cute term, too!

[@RoganShannon13]

I agree, I've kind of been thinking about using only gender neutral terms to refer to any of my future partners (depending on the person, of course). Ooh I kind of like that! I couldn't think of it when I was filming, but I remembered after and there is technically a term but not commonly used - nibling. I'm ambivalent about it though.

[@treespeak2848]

Thank you so much for this!

[@loraleitourtillottwiehr2473]

Love this, thank you!

[@taltheweirdo]

Thanks for this informative video! While still (obviously) debated in the NB/queer community, most I've seen for gender-neutral sibling-of-parent (aka aunt/uncle) in English is entle

[@RoganShannon13]

Ooh that’s a new one for me! Thanks for letting me know!

[@emilymartin4544]

My professor told me I couldn’t use they them pronouns in asl and that she would be unable to use them because it is not in the asl language. So thank you

[@GilbertGTV]

To answer the question about the pushback for “they” when you can see the person as opposed to not knowing if the person is male or female (someone who left a package at the door or was on the phone) is just that. When we see someone, visually (photo, video, or in person), we are able to acknowledge their gender expression and we do so immediately in our minds. It is much more difficult to then progress forward and excuse a “he/she” reference for a more “generic” term like “they”. It feels silly because you can see the person is expressing male or female even if “they” have a slight androgynous look to them. Obviously there are a few exceptions here and there when you can’t quickly identify a person’s gender expression. This is where the pushback comes from. The idea to replace “he/she” with “they/them” goes against the common use of language and it becomes a challenge that most find unnecessary and inconvenient to accommodate. That is where the pushback comes from. Hope I was insightful. Thank you so much for this video ❤️

[@athenahitchin7738]

Thanks for sharing this, am a non-binary person who learned a lot and found many validating terms to use (as well as how I always because jerkiness for my movement sorta signed many of these terms I thought binary in neutral ways). Great video so happy to have found your page.

[@brwnizbeautiful]

this was so helpful! thank yo

[@itsleviosaa]

Thank you for this video! I've seen these around a few times but I guess what I really struggle with is using it when other people in the signing community dispute the usage or introduction of these signs. Though that is a problem in English as well.

[@cdignam1300]

Thank you for making this video! I use the they pronoun so I appreciate the idea of adding more inclusive words to include everyone in conversation.

[@lilweirdo321]

cool video! neat side note: the neutral term for nephew/niece is nibling!

[@RoganShannon13]

Yup, I remembered it after I'd uploaded the video! It's what I have for the timecode in the description :P

[@athenahitchin7738]

Remembering this off my head, but just to help answer for the niece/nephew neutral term, I believe the one I've heard and had folks use was "nibling" (sibling with a n).

[@elizabethscheppler2778]

I like in Rez Dogs how they call the nieces and nephews "niblings."

[@angruhl]

This is fantastic! I've been watching ASL educational videos and wondering how to sign gender neutral nouns. :)

[@corissahowington656]

I found it! This was so useful. Thank you so much!

[@RoganShannon13]

Glad it was helpful!

[@ClycloneMC]

Thank you for this!

[@amitviktorcourreges9721]

Nibling is the gender neutral for niece nephew I just recently learned it and interesting fact it was initially used in the 1940s obviously not for LGBT but it was a common phrase that fell out and is now being petitioned to be entered into Webster dictionary

[@ettinakitten5047]

3:06 I've heard "nibling" used for a gender neutral equivalent to niece and nephew in English.

[@sydclifford]

I LOVE THIS!!! Thank you!!!!

[@rebeccakoch1890]

Thank you for this, I wanted to know how to refer to my younger sibling

[@baileyharris6572]

Thank you!

[@reginapustelak5420]

Good explanations. @ 3:07 gender neutral could be child of my sibling 👍As an aunt I do like the idea of "nibling"

[@alexysautumnelf]

Hey. Could you make a video about gender identities (trans, gay, nonbinary, intersex, male, female, cisgender, etc.)?

[@sleepstump]

Niece/ Nephew / Nibling Aunt / Uncle / XiXi There neutral for aunt/uncle isn't universally decided but it's an option.

[@carmi7408]

My boyfriend calls me his datefriend, so I was wondering. Does it work in ASL to sign "date" and then "friend" like that? ! I really love your channel!

[@RoganShannon13]

I'd probably actually use the same sign as I do for "sweetheart." Sweetheart was the best/simplest word I could come up with to explain the sign, but it could also be interpreted as romantic partner, lover, datefriend, significant other, and so on. Thank you!

[@inknose.]

I have seen Nibling used instead of niece or nephew ☺️

[@bace914]

I stan

[@zavierburst5637]

Niece, nephew, nibling. That's the verbal/English version of the word.

[@amilliahh]

Love this Please tell me how i can watch all your videos at once daily

[@krouwtheknockingcrow]

I'm learning ASL as a hearing enby with an enby cousin and nibling (niece/nephew) this is awesome! For pibling (enby for aunt/uncle) would I do a p?

[@carlasims6461]

your hands are moving so fast i cant follow but i wish you were here in santee visiting me at ihop because i know youd make me more comfortable in the sign langauge community if you come in i hooe you have a most wonderful day i love the way you share how to communicate almost like Carla Langauge on line ! love and well being to you and our humankind. love Carla

[@sousalarson6858]

Thanks for this great vide! I am pretty new to ASL, I am teaching myself with LifePrint. You mention that the use of these signs is still being discussed by the Deaf community (and i know this video is a few years old) but is it acceptable for me - a hearing person band new to ASL - to learn and use these signs? Same question for borrowing signs from other SLs, since you brought up Auslan. I assume it is not my place to use that sign while learning ASL in the US?

[@RoganShannon13]

Absolutely you can learn and use these signs, and if anyone questions you on them, say a deaf person uses them and if they have something else they prefer to use, use that instead in the specific situation. Borrowing signs, I wouldn't suggest that unless it's a commonly borrowed sign or a regional usage. For example, Toronto's sign for LGBTQ+ was borrowed from Japan, and it's now commonly used there as part of their language.

[@genevievewalsh2007]

Thank you! My non binary powers are increasing

[@LeeDee5]

Would everyone who knows ASL know that signing in the middle of the head means you're signing a gender-neutral term? or would they just think that you're just not signing clearly especially for someone learning ASL?

[@TK-jj3pc]

To sign two nonbinary parents, would you move twice on your cheek (in then out) like 2 moms and 2 dads?

[@mmhaller]

Thank you! Is there a way to sign a child that’s not son or daughter? Also what about a sign for non-binary or would you spell it out?

[@RoganShannon13]

Yes! It's kind of like patting a child on their head. For "children" you use both hands, and it looks like you're patting many kids on their heads. Here's a video: www.handspeak.com/word/search/index.php?id=383 For nonbinary, there isn't a sign right now so spell it out. You can also spell the abbreviation, enby. Though that works only when people know what it means. There is an upcoming discussion led by the Deaf Queer Resource Center to determine a sign, so hopefully, we'll have one soon!

[@themediocreviolist3506]

Gender neutral niece/nephew in English: nibling

[@J_Gamble]

Awesome. I'd love to see a gender neutral sign for daughter/son. Currently I use the sign for "child" but that's not the same as a family name really. ....?

[@RoganShannon13]

You could do a similar modification of the existing signs for daughter/son, and start at just below the eye for the sign, like I do for cousin, sibling, etc.

[@J_Gamble]

@@RoganShannon13 Thank you. That may be a good solution.

[@Deafie_Insights]

What about a child (also adult child) that is Non-Binary? Do you sign from the cheek area same is sibling? Or just use the sign for child? My youngest is adult and is Non-Binary. So I have a son I would sign son, so I should I sign child or kid and sign from the cheek? Thanks.

[@RoganShannon13]

Both child and kid are completely gender inclusive in ASL!

[@Deafie_Insights]

@@RoganShannon13 I know. My question is when someone asks me if I have any kids. I would sign I have two children. I have a son who is my oldest and my youngest is Non-Binary so typically would I sign “ I have two children, a son and a child? So I would sign son and then sign child?” I just want to make sure I do a proper introduction. I saw someone sign from from the cheek area as a neutral sign. But I can do the child sign. Thanks. ☺️

[@Deafie_Insights]

Also both of my kids are adults now. I just felt signing child doesn’t seem right.

[@crustmuskandpixiedust]

What is the sign for “gender” so you don’t have to spell it out? Does ASL not have a sign for “gender”? Can we sign “man, woman, equality”?

[@crustmuskandpixiedust]

Sorry the equality part was because I want to sign “gender equality”.

[@RoganShannon13]

There are a couple, but none that I use personally because they’re very binary, and I would rather spell it out until there’s a sign that’s more inclusive of people outside of the man/woman binary.

[@RoganShannon13]

@@crustmuskandpixiedust yeah I get that, but signing man woman equal doesn’t really get the same message across as fingerspelling gender. When you fingerspell it, it’s more inclusive of trans and nonbinary people.