Getting married too young

[@AdventuresofZachandB]

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[@jonasalden29201]

I remember when you were a college student vlogging about dating and being out. You've come a long way, my man!

[@mannfan12]

and his accent was not as thick

[@jcgrant1234]

Gone through 2 marriages, first at 41, second at 53. Everything you said was spot on, and I was a lot older. Can't learn how to live in a relationship without being in one. I can tell you about wonderful marriages that started very young because they grew up together. I can tell you, from my own experience, that you spiral and fall apart at any age. I am proud of your honesty and Alistar for "keeping his eyes on the prize." Zach, you are the prize for Alistar, and he knows it as much as you know he is the prize for you. Keep working on being the best YOU that you can be.

[@jareddraper5241]

When Alastair cries, the world cries 😭😭😭💔 But deployment is OVER and he's back! 🍾🤗💜💜💜💜

[@TLH222]

It is called growing up. You look great. Always enjoy hanging out with you. Thanks for taking the time.

[@mkoury83]

"Domestication" is certainly a worthwhile objective.

[@jayl8785]

You’re always learning and growing. The person you are today is not the person you’ll be tomorrow. You have a good head on your shoulders and you have a good man. Keep growing for the positive!

[@bradcolby3624]

Thanks for being so vulnerable..Been with my husband for 44 years and have been through everything. Hang on and enjoy the ride..it gets better every year.

[@stephaniewenzlick1044]

You are an amazing person because you continue to try to improve yourself, and make your relationship a priority, you have realized that you need to make an effort for yourself, and for Alastair. I’M PROUD OF YOU!!’

[@allengoodwin2019]

I started watching your channel right before you met Allister & was watching your relationship grow. But, at that age, you really think you know it all and are ready for anything when you're not. A great man can grow, and if you realize your mistakes and own up to them, you are becoming a better man and a better husband. When I read your title, I thought it was going to be some bad news. I can understand every single word you spoke about and glad you worked through the problems. I'm glad you are still together continue to grow older together.

[@montehill1364]

You need to let go of your imposter syndrome. You’re both lovely men & you’ve made it this far & you’re going to be ok. Love you!

[@johningle8317]

Zach thanks for your honesty! Stop by so hard on yourself. Just know that both of your life stories has help me and so many other people. It’s has been great watching both of you grow. Hang in there. The two of you are meant to be together! Thanks again and love you both!

[@j.a.whittler6983]

Hang in there, gentlemen! A year flies by really quickly. Just keep yourself, Zack, occupied with whatever YOU enjoy doing. Before you realize it, Allister will be back to you and the doggie. Much love, gentlemen!! Stay blessed and encouraged!! 😎 ❤🙏🏾😊

[@bradharper768]

Found on road dead (ford), I am going to speak to other observers rather than Zach. Zach already knows how much I respect him and Alastair. Zach nice to see AZB, all of you if you have never seen azb you are missing a great intellectual, emotional and friendship experience. Zach on his own and Zach and Alastair as a team bring real life to us in an amazing way. Patreon with these guys is incredible. Zach I don’t want to sound like a commercial but I hold you in such high regard for your ability to share real life thought and emotion. Love you both as always Brad. Great vlog my friend.

[@elitettelbach4247]

I always admire and appreciate how vulnerable you are with us. Thank you for sharing ❤️ I’m glad you were able to reflect and realize what worked and what didn’t and how to course correct. Very mature of you!

[@gehdochnicht]

Yes this type of video is very valuable, actually much more than regular vlogs.

[@carlstange2439]

Zach! Welcome to being a survivor! You love Alastair enough to want to be with him! Congrats for knowing what you really wanted and you always kept the “end” in mine! To be with Alastair all your life! Love is worth it! ❤️

[@stevec404]

Trauma knocked me off my path in early childhood. Talk about not having skills to manage! Time is on your side, Zach, and your recent insights and efforts will see you through.

[@HollywoodF1]

This recap made me think back to watching all these old videos during Covid.

[@MrMarkhoppusrules]

My boyfriend and I have been dating as long as you both and are the same age too! We moved in together after about 6 months of dating. I agree those first months together were the hardest. Communication is key to a long lasting relationship 💙

[@rockinMC]

Zach. I’ve been following and watching you since the beginning. Watching you grow has been a great thing. You’ve shown us all how REAL you are and don’t ever change that. We all have our different journeys and in the end will make us the person we are now. I love you and Alastair together. I see you two and hope I can one day live up to something like that with my partner. Keep your head up. Keep working on yourself and you will have nothing but great things ahead of you! Big hugs!

[@bigjud454]

Zach your amazing. We all go through our shit and you have to let it out. Sometimes we don't control when we have to deal with our demons. You got this. I've been here since the beginning of your channel and you're an amazing guy. You have really changed into someone you can be proud of. We are always growing buddy and finding new things about ourselves. Much love to you....Judson in Myrtle beach

[@marty88ish]

Just had a chance to watch this whole video and your sincerity and honesty were truly touching. You’ve come a long way and it really shows. There were also a lot of gems in here I will take with me and apply in my own life. Proud of you Zach 👍

[@jim9520]

Zack self realization is hard to deal with and it takes time to work out those past problems. But you are willing to do that and that hard work is wonderful. No one is perfect. You are just like the rest of us working on our demons every day. You are a strong willed person and you will work out those past issues. Zack in my humble opinion it was not luck that you met Alastair it was meant to be. Very few people come into our lives only by chance.

[@johndoughty4135]

I think the communication factor is key to the success of a relationship/marriage. Keeping Alistair informed about what you are feeling and going through is paramount. Its clear you guys love each other so keep the lines of communication going. More laughter....looking back at your earlier videos I love it when you are laughing together. Hang in there your a lucky man and you know it!

[@kevincheffkempton3220]

Beautiful, vulnerable, honest. This is 5 ⭐️ content. Thank you. I think most of us can identify with your story. I know I can. I also know that you were supposed to get married when you did. While we might not always be proud of or content with our past, it is what helps us grow, shapes us, hopefully into better, kinder, more empathetic and compassionate human beings. Sending love and good vibes your way❤

[@Dakota0425]

Zach, I’ve been following you since the beginning of your channel. I don’t comment much. But I relate to this post so much. I deployed in 1982 for almost a year. I was in my first of only 2 relationships. It was hard as hell. You’ll get through this. What other choice do you really have. Your love for each other should see you through. God bless you guys!!

[@matthewk1662]

I hear you man. 2020, was a pivotal year. Drama and trauma finally came to a head. I got to a place alcohol couldn’t fix it. Nearly ending my marriage. It was hard, but I got help. I lost my partner in 22. We had a short window where things were good. I see it as I can continue to honor my relationship each day by continuing to take a step forward. I wouldn’t be the man I am today had I not had one standing beside me. Always remember that it’s ok, to take no step at all, so long as you keep forward momentum.

[@willarnold9173]

Having been the person that has deployed in the past, I can swear that we think of home all the time. You are the one constant in the ever changing world of the military and I respect him for it. Technology has certainly come a long way since my deployments. Stay strong, this moment is just a short period of time in this magic of life and A will be back before you know it

[@KevinPerez-wr3ri]

Brother I am 23 and been watching since 2018❤i feel like I saw my future thru you and thank you for this vid it’s a life lesson added to my life book to know what are do n don’t

[@carlkirsch205]

Love you guys.

[@thefilipinojoe]

Listening to you, I am thinking 🤔 do you know that you’re a natural storyteller?… well I imagine so. This is the first video I’ve watched of you and I’m like you’re a natural born writer ✍️ The biggest tip I have learned in my life about relationships, friendships or more, is that no human is perfect so we have to accept “those we choose to be in a relationship with” with all of their flaws. It’s so difficult for us to do that because we don’t typically see our own flaws (as flaws). We see ourselves as perfect or as always being right and that’s unfortunately not a shared reality. But that’s our reality. So just keep that in mind, expect unconditional love no matter what and give it back just as strongly. Rock on. Do whatever you’re motivated to do on KZbin. That’s what I do, and it works for me. ❤

[@joelbuchanan471]

Congratulations on 7 years. This video shows the changes you have been through in that time, the positive and the not so positive. It's a good thing to learn that you can control your own life. I give you a tremendous amount of credit for being able to pull yourself out of those negative behaviors and see a better path. Alastair's support and love obviously mean a great deal to you and that's a good sign. Now that he is done with the deployments, you can have a much more centered life. Love to you both as always. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@ryanscottlogan8459]

Happy 4th Boys!☺️

[@marktitus8516]

Thanks for sharing your view point and the struggles that our emotions play with ours lives. Stay strong and remember that you guys have a beautiful relationship based on unconditional love. Don't forget to keep things spicy while he's deployed. Send him those naughty pics and video while your in the bath or shower. But train to plan when you send them so he's not walking around with wet spots or tents in his pants.

[@heathermurgatroyd9164]

This resonated with me so much in that our time lines are so similar. I was 19 and my husband about to turn 21 when we met, we got engaged 5 months later. We didn’t get married for another 2 years because we had no money, my husband was a student and we were both still living with our parents so we only started living together on our wedding day. We had so many plans for our future, but life just laughs at plans! We’ve been through some heartbreaking things together and I guess that’s the main thing, we’ve faced them together. Anyway, it’s now 49 years later and we are still happily married, he’s my soulmate and we have been so lucky to grow up together. So yes, I would agree with you that we got married too young. I wouldn’t recommend it, I’d tell anyone thinking of it to live a little, get to know yourself and get some life experience first. But at the end of the day it worked for us and I wouldn’t change it even if I could.

[@Tayrobb57]

"Thought I was so f*cking wise" - I'm keeping my mouth shut about college you lmao. But seriously, you always have been great at giving perspective and hearing you look back on those younger years just shows how much you've grown (even if you look exactly the same??? I need your secret). Keep on truckin, love ya bubba

[@NJR-g9f]

Yes ,yes,ya. We are all different even in a marriage. Ian happy to hear Zac that you realize soon enough love has to go both ways with ever aspect of a relationship. We speak from experience , after 38 years together we are sill working together on it …. Best wishes norm&russ

[@rickwalbu]

2003 it was basically stop drinking or my husband would move on.I quit drinking and we are still together.Our 36th year together already.

[@michaelguzman5497]

Okay, wow, happy birthday! It's great that you have the awareness and the insight to make these discoveries, as well as a husband like Alastair. And the big three-oh! You're getting up there! (I'm 59, btw 😁). It's bewildering to me that people told you not to marry when you did. It's not *their* life, it's yours. 🎉🎆

[@giantdog3518]

After finishing watching, I felt like I saw my partner talking, but it was the new him, one who tries to improve himself. My partner and I have gone through a lot, and for the past few months, things have been getting worse. Over the past 18 plus years together, I've changed myself a lot, but he hasn't. It's hard to break up after being together for so long. Anyway, it's good that you're trying to be a better man for your husband, your loved one.

[@frajason5470]

oh wow!!! is so cool to see a video where I recognized the mountains....Are You guys in El Paso Texas? love those mountains!!

[@izzywakeman6883]

I'm glad you guys were able to grow with each other

[@nikkilogan7726]

As long as you can handle the pressure of getting married too young, you'll be fine... Thanks Zach

[@OliviaRehrig]

Zach, first off I hope Alastair's deployment went well! Secondly, you explained everything perfectly. I have watched you since 2019. You have helped me a lot with all of my mental health issues. So, thank you. All love to you both, and Happy Pride as well and Happy almost 7 Years!💗

[@airofdecember]

Hey man, I've been following since your Alabama days. I don't know that I've ever left a comment (can't remember), but I had to after seeing this. I was meant to see this video. The things you talk about with the spiraling and the trauma are all things I'm going through. Never did drugs, alcohol, or smoking, but I do shop. When you talk about the trauma, I know exactly what you mean. In 2009, my fiancé killed themselves. He was my soulmate. After that, my mom became my rock. I struggled for years with major depression and spiraling. Then, in 2017, my mom died unexpectedly somewhat. I fell deeper into that spiral. By 2021, I started to begin a journey of coming out of that spiral. Was still heavily depressed, but I was mending myself. In 2022, I found out I am autistic which was another blow. However, in 2023, I started seeing a possible way out of all this. Then, on December 26th, 2023, my dad died. Now that spiral has become a black hole. No one in my family really understands because they understand that trauma FUCKS you up. I am now seeking new therapy and I have two bucket list items I'm crossing off this year. A nude photo shoot and a photo/lyric book (I write lyrics). Without that, I don't know what I would do. Sorry for the long comment/post, but I had to tell you that your video validated everything I've gone through and that you are not alone. I also wanted to let you know not to worry about the early years of your marriage and not being mature enough. I write all this as a man who's about to turn 51, struggling with all this, and still haven't figured it out. You never really do. Life just throws too many curveballs. Thanks for taking the time to read this. It means the world to me. Pardon any errors. Thanks and have a happy 4th of July.

[@stevenb7779]

I love you guys! Thank you for being vulnerable and putting this out there! You did what you and Alastair thought was right at the time back in 2017. So, I’m not sure I agree with the too young. I believe emotional maturity changes throughout life and comes to different people at different ages and stages along their journey. It was 9 years before I was mature enough to realize I deserve better, that my partner was not going to change, expecting my partner to change was not an appropriate expectation, and therefore, I needed to get out of that abusive relationship. However, growing up, I had no example of a good relationship and I had no one to talk to about it because it was never ok to be gay in my family. I had to learn through my own experiences. Now, I’ve been married for 15 years and I think I have a pretty good understanding of the meaning behind the bond in marriage and it keeps getting stronger.

[@AmbrociousXP]

Zach, you are looking FAN FUCKING TASTIC! Glad you are still making these vids! Hopefully after he gets out of the military you two can finally start an OF which would be the first ever OF I will pay for and not just guiltily watch elsewhere.

[@swedemartyrsonswade]

I love you guys! Please don't break up with him. Don't even think about it!

[@Amtran727]

I loved this video Zach, thanks for sharing your deepest inner thoughts with us. Alastair is lucky to have you also, you are such a sweet guy and you've grown so much in the years I've been following this channel. I'm quite sure that you and Alastair will be together for a long long time. God bless you.

[@redlangdeau5728]

I finished watching your video, thank you for sharing, your maturing, you're becoming self aware and know now what you want and need, I met my husband in January of 1980 moved in together in the middle of January, been together since, it surely hadn't been easy but look it's 2024, I don't see that changing, I wish you and Alastair only the best and it looks like it will be. Thanks for keeping it real Zach take care

[@Marcel_Audubon]

telling your "houseguests" you don't run a hotel is freeing

[@davidfelber5188]

Just talking about how you feel is healing to yourself and your reaching other.... people.....where time gone I have watched you before you was married. We all go thur changes...forgiveness is healing ....love you both you feel like a couple of friends

[@dinoinphx]

Thank you for sharing your story, it helps me in my own relationship.

[@SuperShaunieshaun]

I think we all self-sabotage in some form or another throughout our lives for whatever psychological reason. I really don't believe that it mattered whether you and Alastair were married or not, as you would have still exhibited those same self-sabotaging behaviours, regardless. Luckily, you were fortunate enough to find someone who was determined not to give up on you. All relationships/marriages are a work in progress that require a great deal of patience and understanding. My husband and I have been together for 28yrs. He had self-sabotaging behaviour at the beginning of our relationship. 28yrs later, I'm now the one displaying self-sabotaging behaviour, not because of anything he's done, but rather my own issue of coming to terms with the aging process and evaluating the circumstances I find myself in. So just be aware that it can happen at any time in a relationship, whether married or not...whether at the beginning of the relationship, or many years into it.

[@donaldfolkers8475]

Well Zack, looks like you were right when you said Alister is your soul mate. That's the only way a spouse would put up with all he put up with during those early years. Alister's absences in the early years of your relationship appears to have been exactly what you needed to settle in to who you are and what you want in your relationship. However, all things said, it looks like you've pulled through it just fine. Congrats buddy.

[@francoislitalien493]

you are now working things out from your life, BUT you have Alistair when you get those things worked out to your satisfaction, so , marrying at a young age got you the guy you needed for your life. I think we instinctively know these things. So in the end , there is no need for self deprecation= you GOT HIM. Lucky beyond words!

[@johnmcgarty7665]

Love you two. My life has been your life. Love is all their is!

[@MrKevo916]

I remember those days! You were saying he looked like Tom Hardy 😂

[@samthompson1080]

Sometimes if it wasn't for our mistakes. We wouldn't realize what we have. You learned from your past and took a step forward to a new wonderful life with a man who looked from the inside out. Keep looking up at the stars, because they are looking down upon you.

[@leightonolsson4846]

It must be one exhausting emotional rollercoaster, I really hope you don't have to go through it again

[@alvarogarzon3032]

This is so sad. I hope you both get together again as soon as possible. BTW, your face looks 12 years younger!

[@edsr164]

Don’t feel sorry for yourself, you found your soulmate young. I’m 37 and still lonely

[@darrenoriley2947]

You don’t meet people by “accident”, things happen for a reason. Enjoy each other…life is short. 😊

[@whotrek]

Love the Video. I love this stuff because it's real. Thanks for sharing this and know that I'm pulling for you both.

[@tcnavPeace]

We are 100% honest with each other

[@Danny_Boy2023]

I know how you must have felt, as I was the partner of an Army man who went on deployment, but that was over 20 years ago and we are no longer together! And to make it worse we were only together for 5 months before his deployment. When he came back from deployment, he asked me to come live with him 1,452 kms south from where I lived. He was then commissioned to a Captian in the Army. I was 4 1/2 yrs older than him, but at the time he had not come out to his family or friends. He was still married at the time. I am still in contact with him all these years later. Anyway, take care of yourself and each other. 🥰

[@michaelm5601]

Thanks for sharing this very private experience, it reinforces that love exist. Not gay Love… Just plain Love… be well you two.

[@tdcode]

you are so amazing. and I believe in you two. You are so inspiring to me and my partner. I love you guys.

[@leosun7778]

FROM ONE GARCIA TO ANOTHER - WE STAY STRONG AND LIVE LONG 🦁

[@crownprincesebastianjohano7069]

I was a young 2LT (ROTC grad) with USMA guys who were right out of Hudson High. I felt like I had been hit by a train for a good year with the partying. I disagree with the USMA approach of depriving them. Many, many of them have issues for a few years into their careers as a result that the ROTC/OCS guys do not.

[@Iraq_Lobster69]

"I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" Elton John Dont Wish It Away Don't Look at it Like it's forever Between you and me, I can honestly say Things can only get better And While I'm Away Dust out the demons inside And It Won't be long, before you and me run To the Place in Our Hearts where we hide And I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues Time on my hands could be time spent with you Laughin' like Children, livin' like lovers, Rollin' like thunder under the covers And I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues Just Stare into Space Picture my face in your hands Live for each second without hesitation And Never forget Im your man Wait on me, *girl* Cry in the night if it helps But more than ever, I love you more than I love life itself And I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues Time on my hands could be time spent with you Laughin' like Children, livin' like lovers, Rollin' like thunder under the covers And I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues

[@michaelouellette2576]

You are such a handsome man, and I love your deep voice.

[@mariomartinez9857]

Zach, don’t question anything you did . Just embrace Allister and kiss him . Take it from someone who lost their husband last year. I’m communicating with a guy that’s been deployed but I don’t know where that is going

[@calvind2054]

Super scary title Zach. Don’t do that to me. 😮. I’ve been following you since before you met Alister. I still remember you first meet up at the airport. You two have been one of the greatest inspirations to so many people in our community. We can ever hope and wish nothing but the very best to you both. Please keep doing what you do and please keep spreading positive vibes. Especially at a time when we need the strength in this world.

[@martinstehno3778]

Life doesn't always happen in the perfect sequence. You found a great man, you will sort out your troubles, and you will get a chance to pay back later. Hang on in there.

[@brucebulmon6555]

Have not heard from yall both so what's going on with the both of you guys love hearing from you both...

[@cityguyusa]

I can tell you about my parent's relationship it was a freaking disaster. They shouldn't have been in any kind of relationship let alone having me.

[@marvinhunt4583]

Life of an Army Husband Just try to give each love trust faith It's hard but you can do it

[@cazb5777]

Your openness & authenticity are so refreshing, Zach. Good to see you again & I'm so happy that Alastair is home from deployment & back home with you. Sending best wishes to you both from London 🩷

[@Mcfreddo]

You're a lovely couple absolutely you two!

[@alastairtheduke]

Maybe too young to get married, but if you didn't maybe someone else would snatch him up so you did the right thing. You would have had to mature with or without him, so better with him.

[@HankMcCoy888]

Age shouldn't matter when you get married. I was ready for a long term relationship since i was 14 years old. I kept getting my heart broken by gay jerks that didn't want relationships. Only to find out when I joined the Marines, I got stationed in Japan and met my Japanese husband. My husband is 14 years older than me. I am 40 years old. We have been married for 10 years legally so far, but together 14 years. Age has meant nothing to us. We love each other and that is all that has mattered. The most important thing is we STAY OUT of the gay community. We don't go to gay bars, clubs, avoid gay friends, or anything that allows distrust or drama.

[@alvinpelayo3443]

Just learn to love yourself. You are on your way there.

[@wertyghjkl-fc3dx]

Hope everything goes well. How is it that long without your spouse? I'll have to watch the rest of the video if you covered that my apologies. Curious because, life style all these years had always planned on being away from home for months at a time. Exactly why wish I hadn't been lied to. Seriously, not being able to...dream and soul crushing.

[@ANProductionsOfficialChannel]

I always knew Alistair was the mature one of the two lol.

[@jabarijohnson6758]

Me too

[@richardgonzales6289]

Sorry man . No experience with military deployment but long distance part I understand, only i chose to leave the US for a boy😜Keep up spirits ! Almost almost done

[@alejandrobendana8712]

I've been looking to see if you had a video on the topic and maybe I just can't find it. Yet, I would love to hear about how you guys consider God's place in you guys as individuals and in your marriage, if y'all believe in God. If y'all don't, do you guys have a common belief system in something? Super, super appreciative of having you guys to teach us about how marriage works in our community.

[@WilliamPotts3]

Keep it in your pants bro. Your hubs is one gorgeous man (you are too). Don’t let him get away.

[@LeonScottKennedy134]

Hey Zack and Alastair’s friend how are you

[@timmsheehan9938]

So happy to see you back on You Tube. I got a question..... I'm not judging, I just wanna know have you lost weight? Did you always have a tattoo on your shoulder? Has Alistair gained weight.

[@Anonmillenial]

I would call that “less than nurturing behavior”toward A. Not just self-destructive behavior. Not sure it’s about how luck you are or how “kind” he was. Sounds like he endured serious mental mistreatment from his partner. I’d be interested in hearing he used boundaries (or regrets not doing so) in that time and how he is getting help now having had endured that. Especially since emotional / psychological mistreatment of partners is real with gay men even when we don’t talk about it. People watch your videos and may not see the gravity of playing mind games with your partner like this.

[@rtro80sguysacramento33]

Are ya'll still together??? I hope so. Please let us know.

[@AdventuresofZachandB]

Yes, still together, no worries

[@rtro80sguysacramento33]

@@AdventuresofZachandB YAY this made me happy to hear. I "love" y'all!!

[@alangiles2763]

When will Alistair leave the service?

[@BrianGWilson]

Let me start off by saying I had no idea who you were. Your video came up in my feeds, I guess, and I was like, “WHO is THIS adorable guy”; and so I clicked. I remembered once you started talking about your husband. Apparently, I added you guys years ago, but have failed to keep up. The purpose of this comment is two-fold. 1 - Age has nothing to do with it. In all honesty, your marriage has probably saved your life. I was fortunate enough to find 2 life partners; the first being my soulmate. Both times, both me and each of them were way older than you are now. But, both of them had to work through the exact same things that you described of yourself. Both hid behind drugs and alcohol. Yet, I stayed and tried to help, understand and empathize (I was Allister). It wasn’t age. 2 - Most importantly, if you love him, you work on you. He already loves you. Love yourself, and love yourself with him. He’s not leaving you. God forbid, you leave him because of your issues. And I don’t mean moving out. An accident because of a blackout, a deep depression takes a bad turn, or your body gives out because of the abuse you put it through. I lost both of my partners to their own demons, and their dealing with those demons through addiction. Lost, lost. That pain and emptiness never leaves. Those memories, good and bad, remain, no matter how long I go on living without them. Loving your husband, the one you describe as a genuinely good man, means sparing him the hurt and pain of your untimely demise. You’ve apparently grown, but ‘issues’ are embedded. Share them with him. He can take it. Together, y’all will work them out, as you have thus far.

[@brucewolfe9116]

Zach, do you have a PO Box address? I have a book I got for you to read.

[@brianmatthews1736]

Zach, it can be good to reflect back in time now, and then. However, it isn't good to think too long on what can be termed "regrets". Yes, acknowledge you actually may have married too young, but babe that is in the past. There is no changing it now. Have faith in Alistair, he IS a good man...If he was as mature as you say he was that young, then Zach, honey, he KNEW you needed to mature, and to have space. If he didn't really love you down deep, a year is more than enough time for someone who wasn't so in love, and devoted to you like him to have already called it quits. Have faith Zach. We cannot see the future baby, but we do need to keep looking forward, and do the best we can to be the best person we can be today, every day. Mental health, and peace of mind play a huge role in relationships. and we must be mindful of that, but we should also live IN THE NOW, don't look to the past with any regrets, it is the past, it is gone! Like Dionne Warwick said in her song.."I'll never love this way again"....the woman sang..."A fool will lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday", You did the best you could at that age and time, Try to look back only with loving nostalgia for the good times. Do not live in the future either, cause you do not know what is in store for the future...no one knows that! Live in the moment every day. If you miss your partner, which is normal, acknowledge it. It is ok to not be ok. All tears are not an evil, and society is slowly learning that tears do NOT make a man any less a man, straight or gay...some tears cleanse the soul. Above all, have faith in Alistair, yourself, and your family, and friends. Acknowledge your feelings, and seek help from a good therapist to help with your mental health. And always remember the love.....good luck Zach....Brian

[@RBS_]

*"A fool will lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday"* ....Brian hit it on the head with the Dionne Warwick line......ON-THE-HEAD! .....One of my favorite lyrics, of all time....

[@tcnavPeace]

I am 18 and thinking about getting married to my 18 year old boyfriend 0 we have a baby for 4 months what do you suggest we get along great with each other soulmate

[@drg2966]

Zach thanks for sharing all that with us. Makes one think.