A Very Private School: Charles Spencer Opens up About the Abuse He Suffered at School

In Charles Spencer's book A Very Private School: A Memoir, he recounts his time and experience at one of the most exclusive boarding schools in England. He details the abuse he suffered at the school, and explains why he chose to write the memoir.
Broadcast on 26/03/24
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[@mwmingram]

He is a brave man, throwing a light on these boarding schools. Thank you, Earl Spencer.

[@mauic3884]

He’s a good man for bringing this into the light for all the children that suffered

[@observerobserver6040]

Well done his sister would be proud of him.❣️

[@jodiejo1958]

Stomach turning is right. My heart breaks for all these young boys who had to suffer through such horrific abuse. It took courage to speak out.

[@twogsds]

Not just boys, I was 8 when I was sent away.

[@roxiesorrells4552]

I have always had the upmost respect for Charles Spencer. A good man!

[@notabene2677]

I love this man. He is a TRUE gentleman. ❤

[@user-tu2fi4br5z]

All of his ex wives and ex girlfriends might disagree

[@Melanie_Star]

Charles, you're a brave man to write down such horrific memories. There's no doubt it will help many other people, so hats off to you. Sending much love.

[@caroleknowles828]

Astonishing read; it's amazing how many young children became well balanced adults after such horrendous and dehumanising treatment. It's brave of Earl Spenser to speak up!

[@videoaddict961]

They very much didn’t, and you’re a bit naive to think they did. They became experts at masking or seeming adjusted on the surface, as those before them were, and the cycle of abuse continues to this day.

[@debspringchannel831]

They have been coping

[@paulasheerin9781]

I agree, they hid the pain but it still affects them. Spencer is going through his third divorce! The fact that a woman was his abuser is highly significant..

[@user-nn1xp9wy1k]

What a wonderful brave man Charles Spencer is. Such a kind heart. I'm so sorry he and the other boys suffered so badly at that school. No child should have to endure such awful treatment.

[@stephb346]

Like his sister Charles has great courage, emotional intelligence and a willingness to support others.

[@sissy9393]

Charles Spencer is a hero to write such a book. A man in his position to call out these evil people is very Nobel. ❤ I’m so sorry Earl Spencer.

[@jillruben8924]

What a lovely man. So kind. Horrible story and in that era it was acceptable. Good for Charles speaking out.

[@railiedouglas3018]

My Father’s response to my pleas to be allowed to leave boarding school was “the fees have been paid, you wanted to go, you made your bed, now you get to lie in it.”Thanks Dad. Thankfully I was 16 & it was only one year, but it was traumatic & I was thankful to leave at the end of the year & move on to Teachers College.

[@binfacelardgod1906]

Well done for speaking up Earl Spencer. Don't ever apologise for having 7 children!

[@j.p.9295]

Breaks my heart to hear things like that . Poor little boy . I thought about that woman, shouldn she be in prison , vile beast . Police definitely needs to investigate and arrest all responsible. Thank you Charles for making this aware to everyone .

[@KZ-cq5ev]

So accurate for our era; thank you for sharing and your courage.

[@almakelmiene2021]

Horrible, disgusting. What's wrong with humanity. Those schools should not exist. Those people should investigate.

[@olamisie]

Boarding schools are OK when you’re 18, so basically an adult going to the uni. Earlier is sick and psychologically damaging for a young child.

[@maryjbara42]

Thank you for being so transparent the sooner we speak the truth we can go forward

[@maryrosed8475]

I have read the Book. Very well written but also extremely sad and of course horrific.

[@cartomancycarmen]

I respect him, and his sister, for standing up against abuse. You can tell the Spencer family was raised well. I wish them all the best❣️

[@ggunga7764]

How can parents send Thier children away? Awful

[@sams3015]

It was the “done” thing sadly. It was thought it would be good for networking. Likely too many of these aristocratic families didn’t deal with their children day to day anyway & would have them shipped off to Nannies & Governesses when they were at home

[@roscaines-prentice3888]

I was sent to boarding school in the 1970’s, I was there for 7 years. There was no physical chastisement, but you miss the maternal affection, the love and care that you get from home. On the other hand, I had opportunities that I would never otherwise have had which helped me in many ways. Not sure whether or not that makes up for the negative aspects.

[@ernarc23]

I am struck not only by Spencer's emotional control in relating these horrific events, but also by his pellucid literary style--his description of Nanny Forster's predatory nature, in particular, as "veer[ing] between lazy unkindness and focused cruelty." He's a very brave man.

[@billyleroy2465]

I can relate ...I was sent to a very strict school in Switzerland at 9.

[@Yv1o5]

Went to one in Kenya. The more Spencer speaks of this school from beatings, punishment, drills the more I realize how similar our schools were and the whole toughening up expectation.

[@TheVenessa7485]

Thank you for sharing your story. So sad 😢

[@natasha-fk3pk]

Diana has a good brother. He would be a friend to Prince William and his children.

[@marionlarkin1161]

And to Harry. I hope Earl Spencer and Harry are good to each other.

[@JenniferAdair-lj7ic]

IN SCOTLAND WE HAD TAWSE A BELT I WAS BORN IN 1953 MY LATE HUSBAND WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL NOT A BORDER MY MAN WAS BORN IN 1950 I SEND MY LOVE TO YOU IN MEMORY OF SISTER DIANA GOD REST HER SOUL❤❤❤❤❤❤😢😢😢😢😢😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@janejane5332]

Listened to this book on Audible. Terrible what happened to the young boys, would like to see justice if possible to the perpetrators involved at this school.

[@margareta249]

I admire Charles Spencer for speaking out now, Gives survivors who were abused in the 70s a voice.. I got canned all through high school. One time across my back. My dad went to the school and let's just say the canning stopped. My dad was my protector.

[@uPhyllisWhitburn-xd9fl]

Poor guy This abuse should stop forever

[@sandramucha8948]

It amazes me that he endured such abuse on a daily basis, endured the loss of of his beautiful sister, and did get lost in his pain. He grew up determined to give a voice to those who do not have a voice.

[@mickidonahue4038]

I am so sorry to hear this. I'm American, and always had a hard time understanding the tradition of boarding school, and this on top. Awful.

[@Oughut88]

The story of legalised abuse that Charles tells happened to so many, not only at elite British boarding schools but at orphanages and residential schools throughout the world. Many in South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Kenya, India, Australia, Canada and other countries endured similar experiences. Vulnerable children left in the ‘care’ of those that had no business being in the vicinity of children and adolescents. What is now known as ‘Boarding School Syndrome’ is very real. My husband, like Charles, boarded from 8 - 18 at an elite school in England, as did my brother and all the males in my family. Until my husband was 12 he saw his parents once a year. They were busy building the empire. The repercussions of early boarding are far reaching and destructive. How can one possibly know how to be a partner or parent when one has grown up in an institution? And yet these men and women go out into the world having been told that they are privileged and with a fantasy of what a relationship involves. With a fantasy of how to be a parent. Quite simply, young children are not supposed to be emotionally independent and brought up by strangers. Yes, early boarding is neglect on every level but let’s not forget what it says about the parents who send their children away to be vulnerable and at the mercy of strangers.

[@weightingforamiracle]

Basically parents put them in an orphanage. No better, as parents hardly saw them.

[@SMGAPR8]

Well said, let's not forget about the Nuns who were so cruel and wicked women, professing to doing Gods work,

[@natpaler883]

It’s absolutely devastating to hear this story and I’m so sorry what those boys went through.

[@melaniabladeofmiquella]

This is why safeguarding is so important. Power corrupts. Sorry to anyone who had to experience.

[@algiles881]

It begs the question what is "safeguarding" and if it is so successful why are paedo teachers still appearing in the courts in 2024?

[@melaniabladeofmiquella]

@algiles881 well safeguarding isn't eugenics if that's that you are asking. They say there is no such thing as a silly question but really now

[@debspringchannel831]

Nothing works here...

[@melaniabladeofmiquella]

@debspringchannel831 alright thanks Debs

[@jakua561]

So happy for him that he did this. Brave man. May it shine a light for all those in need. He has been through a lot, clearly he did some very deep soul searching and went to the source of his pain. Well done and may it inspire countless others!

[@maryjbara42]

This trauma and abuse stays with the child for life it manifest in addiction

[@mikes11220]

This is/has been going on everywhere - there hordes of these demons in everything, everywhere

[@Nomoredrama2000]

So horrible and gross!! 😣😥Happy that he's found the courage to speak out.

[@maryjbara42]

Brilliant that you have aired the elephant in the sitting room

[@helenweatherby1694]

A moving and horrifying book. I hope the authorities pick up on this and pursue the culprits who are still alive, irrespective of their age. I went to an all girls grammar school and there was a PE teacher who would be looking at jail time these days.

[@johnkeir4139]

This is what happened to Paris Hilton in her boarding school in America. Her parents had no idea mgt

[@lits3212]

So brave. Disgusting to hear this happened.

[@JohnSmith-lk8cy]

Congratulations to Charles for speaking out. It needs to be voiced. Also remember some PARENTS were doing this to their own children. Like mine!

[@maggiesamuels2937]

We had the cane in our junior school in the 1970s not a private school and we had nuns for teachers .😡

[@mariannehancock8282]

I'm so sorry. I have nightmares about nuns to this day.

[@lyndsaythorne3572]

God bless your soul 🙏 ❤️

[@delythdavies4907]

The world was different then. Bullying was a part of school life, as was caning. Teachers were always in the right and backed by parents. We have now gone full circle and teachers are terrified of pupils and parents.

[@carlywright5127]

Possibly. But on the subject of abuse by those in position of authority over the vulnerable young or old is unacceptable and chargeable.

[@jackiedouglas4483]

God bless Charles, Buzz.

[@georgiedruce1688]

So horrific prayers for all.

[@ines3171]

Dear Charles. I am crying for you... I am so glad you are telling "all". I wish you the best. God bless you.

[@sandihunter1260]

This sounds very similar to the way Indigenous students were treated in Canada.

[@thecook8964]

Well said

[@anilasharma2371]

I feel some children who went to private school, some have been messed up , unfortunately they don't talk about it, definitely there is a darker side to some of schools.

[@ingridlarssen7483]

For he's A jolly good fellow And so say all of us! Well Done Charles for sharing your very traumatic boarding school experiences.

[@darioahangari8301]

Oh when they say everything is horrible nowadays! Think twice before saying that

[@bereal6590]

What a loverly man

[@MichaelGill-qc1cd]

Take care and God bless you.❤

[@pacificmalia]

Congratulations on speaking up and out on child trauma! 💐

[@user-ui2sx7rl4h]

What a very nice man…..

[@jeanmyers1787]

I went to a girl’s grammar school & absolutely loved it. My friend & I were very bright but quite naughty in first year but parent’s evening put a stop to that, I have to say I had a really good time, better in 6th form when I could concentrate on subjects I really loved.

[@railiedouglas3018]

I dare say the Prince & Princess of Wales have already resolved to send Prince George to Eton as a day student. Another reason for their relocation to Windsor. If Prince William wasn’t aware of his Uncle’s story already I’ve no doubt the knowledge of it will certainly strengthen this resolve.

[@Ette397]

This is so shocking! 😢

[@pjnix5618]

Relatively recently ? The 1970’s???? Hello - the 70’s were forever ago. Glad he’s sharing his experiences, though.

[@texaspatty4697]

So sorry about your abuse!!

[@KnutFan]

What is disturbing, among other things, is that this is how the current ruling class was raised. In utter devastation. This is contributes to why our world has become such a mess and so disconnected.

[@terryloftus3207]

Watch Michael Palins,"Tomlinsons school days",it explains EVERYTHING

[@MsxHolmes]

Jonathan Miller is Daniel Miller's dad. Jonathan Miller is a journalist and you all know him.

[@Kimllg88]

bouffant Maddeley. Hair goals!!

[@anniehowell6266]

he had to watch william and harry go to boarding school aged 8 and didnt tell diana his past

[@user-nn1xp9wy1k]

How do you know what he told his sister? Diana went to lengths to make sure the boys went to the school of her choosing and not the one Prince Charles had attended (which incidentally he had hated).

[@Chipoo88]

Not all boarding schools are like this!

[@anniehowell6266]

@@user-nn1xp9wy1k prince william also hated his boarding school to begin with, diana said he was homesick. william was 8 and harry 7 when they stopped living with their mother outside of holidays and were sent to boarding school. its so sad.

[@anniehowell6266]

@@Chipoo88 they are still away from their families. charles spencer has said no child under 13 should be allowed to live away from their family

[@Chipoo88]

@@anniehowell6266 yes I agree that 12 or 13 should be the youngest but my point was to specify the type of school and treatment of the pupils

[@elizabethmcleod246]

I was so sad to see his is divorcing for the third time. What happened?

[@MsxHolmes]

Good Morning Britain has the blood of journalists on their hands!

[@user-ce7ri3yn9c]

Well ofcourse this was thought to be everywhere in England among people in other countries.

[@carlywright5127]

Parents beed to oversee and really listen to their vulnerable children. And a whole lot better. As well as other.

[@martinelongum9921]

I think the interviewer knows about all this too !

[@cassandratq9301]

Equally shocking!

[@margaretvanson3601]

Upper class girls schools of the 1900-1950s were known for providing an "expensive but inadequate education."

[@nickm8810]

I went too bourding school called shapwick from 11 too 16 ban them know

[@HURCNchristine]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️

[@avm9647]

I can’t forget his horrible speech at the funeral of Princess Diana - what a pity he did not get custody

[@twogsds]

Abolish boarding schools, children shouldn't be separated from their parents.

[@vgardner1688]

So very sad.

[@MsxHolmes]

Who is Terry Miller? Terry Miller brought London the 2012 Games.

[@bungee7503]

I don’t understand why some people have children at all if they send them away so young. Poor little beggars.

[@orlamccahey1504]

Poor man

[@jamespsyfer]

Something very Spartan in some senses.. just left to fend for yourself by the sound of it.. and paying large sums of money to be treated like that.Sounds awful

[@MsxHolmes]

Long Live the Queen!

[@donny2327]

That's the thing, yes it was grim, as ES says, but it was criminal too. Criminal.

[@MsxHolmes]

What's blood sport, Good Morning Britain?

[@michelledavies2197]

Shame on parents that send their children to boarding schools. If you can't be a 100% parent, then don't bother having children.

[@MsxHolmes]

Daniel Miller was never married to Catherine Elizabeth Charlesworth.

[@eveb.6568]

criminal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@SMGAPR8]

Those were harder times for children to speak up, private or mainstream school, we were raised to respect elders, teachers etc... as was our parents before us, to speak out was not an option, Fact!

[@HistoryHunter3000]

Domestic breed ,breed for the system .master is father .

[@jonathanport5002]

Whimp. Spartan stuff in the early 60 s

[@MarjorieStoker-oj8fh]

Its a fact

[@SKF358]

So, he never visited his parents where he could inform them he was being terrorized?

[@MsxHolmes]

Catherine Elizabeth Charlesworth is Sherlock Holmes, wake up.

[@Hugomad2]

This is horrible

[@melgrant7404]

Why now.why a book.

[@mchaplin66]

ah didums

[@sleepycat8887]

Really? Such a silly comment. You wouldn’t say that if it was someone that you really care about. Someone else’s suffering it’s not a joke. We all must hear and be aware of these things, so we can all care for us and our families. Could happen to anyone. He’s being very brave by telling his story, please don’t diminish it with such banal comments. 🙄

[@kibokowill]

Barely anyone uses that word accept people who have been through private school system themselves. I would hypothesise that you are either deeply wounded yourself by your experience, perhaps without even realising it, or possibly even a perpetrator of bullying or abuse. It's the only logical explanation other than you being such a sociopath that you would need to belittle not only someone who has been through great pain but also any other survivors of abuse in any form, at school or otherwise. I would suggest exploring your own wounds, possibly with a professional.

[@mariannehancock8282]

Charles Spencer encouraged one of his schoolmates to tell his father what it was like. The father said, ''Don't be so wet''. He had the attitude of the commentator here.If people have no empathy, they haven't, that's all. But I wonder why they want to display the fact as if they are proud of it. Do they expect us to be impressed?

[@ritalamy5866]

Nobody really cares mr spencer.

[@Tawadeb]

Yes we do we are very sorry for his horrible experiences

[@jeremyhartley9946]

For goodness sakes why does Earl Spencer drag things up from the past, just to make himself relevant. Really! Most boys who went to public school in the U.K. at that time experienced some sort of abuse, whether it was from other senior boys or prefects, teachers or maybe even the matron. A bunch of boys cooped up in what at the time were quite grim conditions, not to mention caning and getting six of the best. Join the club! Thank goodness that the public school system has changed and moved into the 21st century. But really, to drag things up from one’s childhood, sixty or so years ago, is totally unnecessary and of no public interest. Keep it within his family.

[@coranford7463]

Good on Charles. It's because of people like you that survivors of abuse do not talk about their trauma and their abusers go unpunished. Survivors have every right to speak up and be heard, child safe guarding is paramount, period!

[@misskiz786]

Yes! Let's bury all wrongdoing and trauma firmly under the rug! Let's just ignore the pain and suffering and keep it hidden within our families, or better yet, say nothing at all! Honestly, people like you do so much harm on top of harm. Talking is the best way to reveal the atrocities that went on in the past and STILL go on today. Just because you decided to swallow your pain and become bitter doesn't mean others have to.

[@melanytodd2929]

​@@coranford7463🙏

[@melanytodd2929]

​@@misskiz786🙏❣ Thank you.

[@Chipoo88]

It might encourage others who suffered abuse to seek help. It never leaves you. He’s done the right thing, absolutely