A Mother's Warning on Assisted Dying After Son's Death in Switzerland

[@msplace100]

Sadly his mother was in denial of his pain. And mental health services are woefully lacking.

[@carolevans5285]

Spot on , I get its her son but he was a grown man

[@lisamay3316]

Mental health services just make things worse, shockingly

[@apope2311]

❤

[@thjbird]

People with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia often look perfectly healthy, but can be enduring tremendous suffering, often accompanied by anxiety and depression. They are very often dismissed by health care professionals who tell them that it’s “all in your head”. “Normies” can’t imagine that a person’s physiology might be radically different. Suffering people will lose hope.

[@Bearwithme560]

You are so correct. I thought l was empathetic, until l developed two progressive diseases involving unimaginable pain. There is no frame of reference until you experience it. My pain is no longer on a scale from one to 10, but on a logarithmic scale beginning at 9, even with heavy painkillers. At some point the mind can no longer handle it.

[@Happy_Potato0]

So? Your point? Chronic pain doesn't mean go and die.. its no different then suicide.

[@Pheonarx]

@@Happy_Potato0 You're lucky KZbin censors are so strict.

[@LezBeeHonest]

Yes! I feel that she didn't know his depth of suffering.

[@pauliewalnuts6734]

yep going through this with my family. I wish I could have the swiss treatment but unfortunately I am also poor.

[@RachaelClarkeClarke]

He talked but nobody listened and some people can still eat when they are deeply depressed

[@akpokemon]

the mention of eating well was more about the stomach issues and his mysterious weight loss...

[@natalielongarini229]

@@akpokemon this isn't directed at you as I know you're simply pointing out the context of what she said but I have many issues with digestion and pain due to crohn's disease and severe endometriosis but just so others know, you can be in severe pain and experience debilitating stomach issues and still eat. Especially someone who is depressed and lonely and fighting a daily battle, sometimes food is a form of escape. It isn't uncommon for those who are struggling to even become emotional eaters and binge eat, even if it causes them physical pain

[@sophiajordan7118]

don't judge, as a parent you always want to believe your kids are doing ok...

[@JamesBurdon-gu5yu]

@Naitatillie (Sorry for botching name It won't copy) Yes. The pain caused adrenaline for me only providing additions releif, sadly it nearly killed me I was saved by a now beat friend

[@christac1526]

100 % agree. He was screeming at them. Noone listen noone wanted to talk about it. Ignore, Ignore the Issues. Can't beleave her saying " i didn't think he was there" when did she think he was going to be there ?? In a month ? In 6 month ?

[@sandraguidemann8924]

I am working in Switzerland. Without a serious illness and diagnostic you can't get assisted suicide in Switzerland. There must be a lot he hasn't told his family.

[@kathrin5721]

Is Depression counted as serious illness? I know that J.L. Godard had an assisted suicide without having been terminally ill.

[@sandraguidemann8924]

@@kathrin5721 it is possible to get assisted suicide if you are suffering from depression but it is very complicated. Your psychiatrist has to confirm that there are no more options of treatment, that you are unbearable suffering and your wish to die is NOT a symptom of your depression. It is very rare for a depressed person to be granted assisted suicide in Switzerland.

[@lemaxx2638]

So if I'm healthy but just don't want live anymore, I won't be granted this ? So disappointing, I thought is for everyone older than 18 years old

[@sandraguidemann8924]

@@lemaxx2638 no in Switzerland it would not be possible. Perhaps in Belgium it would. As I know in Belgium not only assisted suicide but even euthanasia is a constitutional right - also for patients with depression or dementia and even for children.

[@ireneshilling1849]

This is not the first case, a lot slip through the Swedish system

[@peeg09]

I think he was in deep emotional pain. He sounds like a lovely man. Ending your life isn't an easy thing. Sad but I hope he's at peace now.

[@lulunz6809]

That is just an assumption. He was a lovely man who had a loving family. Regardless of what people may think of them, he was very loved and they are affected by him going missing and finding out he was dead. They didn't have a chance to say goodbye before he was cremated. In fact they don't know the ashes they cremated are his. How can that be peaceful? I tend to think that if he was wanting to spare them pain, then he obviously wasn't thinking rationally because he would have left his family information to find him.

[@Granny53]

I was an extreme deep despair in the 70s with a cute chronic panic and anxiety and severe depression suicidal also I worked through it but back then they helped you work through it and gave you medicine to take while you were working through it and I thank God he gave me my life back

[@Granny53]

That's why I know it can be worked through

[@Granny53]

I'm so very sorry for your loss

[@lulunz6809]

@@Granny53 What a powerful story you have. It's so important people hear stories like yours. Hope is the most powerful medicine. If a person doesn't have it themselves, its so important we carry it for them until they can find it for themselves. It doesn't mean we minimise their pain or minimise how difficult it is to live with that suffering. Its horrible and painful and sometimes people need to lean on us to get through it. I am happy to do that for people because others did it for me and I am still here. Sometimes I still have my moments however its nothing like it was. There really is help out there. Sometimes the hardest part is asking for it.

[@shivalishankersharma1562]

It seems like he was expressing that he did not want to live but his family did not understand.

[@christac1526]

I think if he felt supported by his family he would have included them and maybe go through this journey together which would have been ideal for him. Possibly the family didn't want to hear about his suicidel thoughts ( maybe they couldn't handle their own emotions ) and he felt he had no other choice but to go there alone and spend his last moments with strangers. I hope they brought him peace and love in those last moments. How sad he felt he couldn't even say Good Bye to his family

[@martharinebiseko1457]

Until you hv a patient if the kind you wd not understand ​@christac1526

[@christac1526]

@@martharinebiseko1457 ???

[@dm2836]

Most people who love you dearly don’t want to hear that you’re seeking to end your life. My blood runs cold just imagining the horror of hearing that from my child. I think I would go end myself quick so I wouldn’t have to survive it.

[@gigieyre]

This is so sad. When his mom said that he wasn't at this stage....he was. That's why he did this. It's heartbreaking when our loved one feels this destitute. We want them to hang on but they just can't.

[@sallyyeomans3456]

I don't actually know but one would guess if the clinic thought it was more of a depression they wouldn't have let him go through it.

[@samjohns3227]

No one knows what he was going through except him and he made that decision with love for himself.

[@lulunz6809]

@@samjohns3227 You do not know that at all. He could have believed her deserved to die which is very common with depression. He may well have believed he was a burden and it was better for everyone if he just went away and died. Depression is also like that. People can have an overwhelming amount of shame for existing. So he likely died from that. Not in the romantic way you are suggesting it happened. Surely you can see that there is no way of knowing except for what seems like a very secretive situation involving a lot of profit for a company who didn't have the decency to let anyone know in Britain.

[@christac1526]

I wonder when the Mom would have felt he was " there ". He clearly stated he didn't have this and that and it was his end. Maybe Mom wasn't able to cope hearing him speak about this serious matters.

[@hunterw3866]

So you’re saying there’s no hope for some people?

[@lindaclifton2460]

I am in a wheel chair with MS I will die from it. I have spoken and signed the papers in NZ you have to have two Doctors to agree…. Why would I want to live when I can do nothing feel nothing and lay in a day bed all day. No thank you I want to die… all my family know, my son took a while but is on board now. I will be dying when I no longer use my hands and can not do anything I hope it will not be for a couple of years…… it’s my right to end it when I can not live my life with dignity… Sorry Mum but he organised it all. Take it from some one who knows about😢 depression he made his choice as how I would do it I love my family… but I have made my choice…

[@carolhogg6516]

@lindaclifton2460. Hi there Linda, I fully agree and support your decision. I am also facing the same , although not MS (mine being a rare form of cancer diagnosed three years ago) I didn’t wish to undergo surgery and have just come to terms with the fact that I’ll just take each day as it comes. I also made enquires with the organisation and my doctor (and family) are fully aware of the choice I have made and will support me. To date I have not signed any paper work. Sending wishes your way. 🤗🇳🇿

[@crocadoodle7101]

🌷❤️

[@marisamartin3664]

It was not at all the same situation.

[@Emma-Rose]

I totally appreciate and respect your decision. We will put our pets to sleep when they are seriously poorly to relieve their pain so why can’t we have the choice in our own countries for our own lives.

[@lisabeaver2919]

​@@shannoncole6415 How long should I wait for God to heal me ?

[@kerrywarwick2575]

As a mother who has lost a son to suicide myself, I think that there are potential benefits to this way of ending one's life. Almost all suicide methods are violent, traumatic ways to go, leaving the family with a harrowing ordeal regarding identification. One of the biggest questions that haunts me is "Did he suffer before he died?". Another thing that hurts me every day is that my boy had to die alone. Done in the right way, euthanasia could alleviate all of these issues, and whilst the family would still have to come to terms with a terrible loss, the traumatic element of the bereavement would be greatly reduced. With the benefit of hindsight, and knowing the complexities of suicide grief , I would suggest that this way would be the lesser of two very sad and awful options.

[@stevenbaker7696]

Sorry for your loss and thanks for your informed reasoned and level response.

[@fionabattrum7395]

We should be able to say if we want to end our lives . No one absolutely no one has the right to tell some one else how much they have to endure. My son has been suicidal I have said to him that it is his choice in the end. Please don’t do it in a messy way where you may suffer further. I have told him if it ever got to that point it would be better to plan it via an assisted death organisation. Obviously my hope and prayers would be this process where he cd be open would provide a window of opportunity of support to avoid ending life. I am so very sorry that you went through the loss of your son but I so agree with your comments sadly borne from the wisdom that comes from experience

[@ginam4387]

I am very sorry. And I agree with you as when we love someone we don't want them to suffer and need, as difficult it is, to respect their choices or lack of choices, sometimes.

[@whitneyanders5945]

I agree. I almost think that those opposing assisted dying are advocating for painful, lonely deaths of people that have no hope. It is better to die with dignity than in secret and in pain and leaving a scene that is shocking and traumatic to those who find it.

[@carolhogg6516]

@@whitneyanders5945well said. I agree with you 100%.

[@suetrublu]

Really appreciate all the comments I'm reading. Mom seems to be in serious denial about what its like to be chronically ill.

[@Kellz58]

I live it too, and appreciate your comment. ❤

[@carolineduff-riddell8109]

Agree

[@combatduckie]

Yeah, "denial" is the correct word here....and it was the reason why he could not speak or discuss it with her.

[@X33dbv]

It’s the egoism of some mothers.

[@CapitanNaufrago]

You people are insane calling the basic instinct of a mother of her child not passing from a potentially treatable condition egotistical

[@thearcherofjustice1492]

This is extremely weird. I live in Switzerland and I know the system. One can not be accepted for a médicalised scheduled suicide just like that. There is more to the story but it remains private..

[@goldenrain87]

Exactly!!!

[@miriam1682]

I'm Swiss living in Switzerland I totally agree it's weird. As well a Clinic doesn't that anyway.

[@combatduckie]

I agree, -i m German and had checked the details and prerequisites in Switherland about 20 years ago when an elderly friend of mine asked me to look for ways for her sister to get assisted suicide as she was dying from untreatable, very painful cancer (Malignant pleural mesothelioma, the asbestos cancer), and I also could only find orgs that strictly demanded PHYSICAL terminal illnesses only for agreeing to do it.

[@jackiyolo4997]

Totally agree 💯

[@freekiki2416]

I‘m Swiss as well and I too think this is very weird. The rules about assisted dying here are extremely strict…

[@diamondlee9034]

whats just as tragic is how clueless the whole family is

[@WestCoastGeoLover]

💯

[@white_clover767]

5:54 Mother says "And we had every hope that eventually the "problem" would be solved and his life would pick up again" Clearly the family had no idea what depression is, calling it a "low mood" is sooo far from the reality of it, they were ignoring his illness. This likely made him feel alone and unsupported.

[@bereal6590]

I would agree. A massive disconnect going on here

[@sharonsnider9452]

I agree as well. Mental illness and depression are so misunderstood by people other than the person who is suffering. He believed his life on earth was unbearable and he was going somewhere that there would be peace and no more suffering. Someone dropped the ball here and didn’t get him the help he needed

[@tashaax1993xanimalloverx]

The point is depression is a "state of mind" which can change...and mental health can make u do things u wouldn't normally hence why it's wrong...he may have changed his mind ffs

[@white_clover767]

@@tashaax1993xanimalloverx he wouldn't have ended his life after 6 weeks of depression. This was likely a decades long issue. As it is for most people. He had the right to end that. If a person with depression is depressed for 75% of their life, its a valid choice to give up that 25% of normalcy to end the 75% of pain.

[@christee9590]

​@@white_clover767How do you know this? How are you rationalising these bold statements? Are you speaking from experience or not? Either way you are in no position to judge if a particular depressed person's life is worth living. You don't know what was going on in this man's mind, none of us do. My guess is that he had more than depression, as his actions were extreme (and selfish), but sadly he did not get the psychological, psychiatric help that he needed. Shame that there is still a huge stigma with mental illness. No mother wants to see their child sectioned but it would have saved his life and his treatment would have been reviewed.

[@Straightedgefish]

As someone who is currently going through what Alister experienced, I can understand why he decided to terminate his life. I am suffering with an incurable stomach problem with ongoing investigations which have yielded no results. When you have the constant fear and worry of your stomach problems, it’s no wonder it can affect your mood. I don’t have a life anymore, I’m just existing. It also hurts to watch everyone else have their lives and be happy.

[@francesfarrugia2526]

So true but Ur not alone!!😢

[@kathy4180]

Try amitripyline for IBS. It was amazing for me.

[@RBH614]

So you probably have IBS. Get that treated by your GP. Not euthanasia!!

[@MrBibi86]

*People who have not been depressed for decades really don't get it. would you rather a loved one go like this or to come home to find their brains on the wall!*

[@MichaelReilly-r7h]

Yes I have, medication helped, becoming an alcoholic did'nt . The program of AA got me back on track and back to God.

[@echoingsnow]

I’m glad I stuck it out and became a survivor ;

[@loisroos6874]

Indeed. Is hellish living in a low mood state.

[@wobbuffetbuffet]

This is a fair point. Better mental healthcare services are needed.

[@myinmyin1997]

Most depression would lift if people would eat real food and get some exercise 😢

[@freshlimejuice]

Unrelenting depression can be too unbearable to continue going through the motions of living. Especially in your 40's you feel your best years are behind you; in many aspects they are.

[@davidroscoe3815]

Im now in my 60's and feel the same way as this younger man, Im so relived there is an option available if I can no longer stand the pain of living without hope of a pain free life. This is emotional pain I suffer and its with me every waking moment, it's unbearable, only getting worse by the day.

[@donnavivian9431]

" lets hope he was happy" of course he wasn't or he wouldn't have gone down that route.

[@NinaAndCoco]

This mother is making it all about her. She was oblivious to her son’s suffering. He was under absolutely no obligation to get her permission or anyone else’s. He was a 47 year old man for goodness sake. He doesn’t need to ask his mother or even tell her if he doesn’t want to.

[@tw8464]

Yeah it's all about her. Why is she even on the new? For herself own attention

[@squallleonhart470]

This is ridiculous and because he probably knew how the family would react - he kept them in the dark. That should be the point of this reporting: family ghosted due to lack of their acceptance and support. I do understand that he was loved and now missed - but this scaremongering isn’t helping anyone.

[@christee9590]

Would you be so tolerant if a close member of your family took this path? Somehow I doubt it.

[@ketgirl34ify]

I agree with you I really feel for the mum but as she said at least she didn't have to identify his body. It's sounds like he had already made his mind up. Unfortunately people will always commit suicide but at least this is the best option out of an impossible situation.

[@puclopuclik4108]

​@@christee9590 Suicides do happened regardless the clinics. Would you rather the men to hung himself in a forest? Or jump under a train? At least he died in dignity and didn't cause any traumatic experience to random people who'll be unfortunate to find his body. Mental health is real problem and people do suffer.

[@ssuwandi3240]

Not that case. The family was left in the dark by the clinic. If the staff really think they helped his dignity they should have just come forward in email or call. His mom is criticizing the clinic protocols but pls understand the rest was her grieving since she wanted to see his body. Not the ashes two months later.

[@puclopuclik4108]

@@ssuwandi3240 The problem with inforing his family is, he has to agree to it. Although I agree that his death should have been reported straight to British authorities and they would inform the family.

[@TammySoulJourney]

Mum You don't know what stage your son was at He was at that stage that's why he ended his life with help!!!

[@michellemarini5128]

I've known three close people who took their own lives here in America. I can definitely relate to them. You "healthy" people have no clue just how awful mental suffering really is, and there really isn't help globally as far as I'm concerned.

[@arnicepernice8656]

I agree. Her saying don’t talk like that to her son. He did not know how to tell her he was so distressed

[@Sam___Smith]

We are not promised a perfect or fair life. In this life you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world -Jesus. In the Word, God warns us out of love, not willing that any should perish. He says whoever destroys his temple, him also, I will destroy!- God Your life and your body is not your own, it's given to you on loan. If you can not be faithful over little, how can I set you over much?- God

[@arnicepernice8656]

@@Sam___Smith we are also not infallible and satan is powerful.

[@pamelajanewade938]

​@@Sam___Smith AMEN and AMEN 🙏🏻✝️♥️

[@Sam___Smith]

@@arnicepernice8656 To whoever overcomes I will give him a crown of life -Jesus

[@danaakon7633]

Many mothers are clueless about how their sons are lonely and depressed.

[@melodymacken9788]

Yeah that's right. I don't think the family had any idea of his emotional and mental pain.

[@SandraGarcia-lj3bd]

Some know It and don't care.

[@sensimania]

Those closest to us in general, are sometimes less likely to immediately notice anything wrong. Even if we're exhibiting all the signs under the sun. Sometimes they're more likely to react with frustration, or dismiss the signs as "a phase".

[@plethoradulcet]

And the father doesn't need to care and you males will never blame your own kind

[@joecheffo5942]

@@SandraGarcia-lj3bd Why can't people accept mortality? Why do we have to keep dragging life on and on? Do you see animals in the wild in wheelchairs carrying oxygen tanks or on feeding tubes? It is not natural, not right and it is playing God. People are not supposed to survive broken necks. We are not supposed to survive every infection. For what? To be zombies lying in bed? Why?

[@ChrisNP87]

The mother's narrative seems to deliberately omit key details about her son's diagnosis and mental state. It's misleading to focus solely on the cost and ignore Switzerland's stringent requirements for assisted suicide, which includes a thorough assessment by multiple doctors and a confirmed terminal illness. His visible decline and repeated mentions of suicide suggest a depth of suffering that's being downplayed. It's important to respect his autonomy and decision, even if it's difficult to understand, especially as Swiss law allows for assisted suicide in cases of unbearable suffering, whether physical or psychological...

[@Mili-bo6vu]

It’s very sad but there are none so blind as those who will not see. My ex husband took his own life and I was the only person who wasn’t shocked.

[@ChrisNP87]

@@Mili-bo6vu I agree with you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@Mili-bo6vu]

@@thenorthbrace6537no I didn’t.

[@tw8464]

Yes it's not as simple as they're making it

[@organicwest]

My uncle went from shoveling snow in December to being unable to go to the washroom on his own within 3 months. He didn't want to be a drain on his daughter's lives that, had moved home to take care of him. He had his favourite key lime pie and went to sleep in his own bed and that was it. He chose assisted because the alternative was dying in a hospital pumped full of narcotics surrounded by strangers and continuing to be a drain on his daughters. He didn't want their memories of him to be of his remaining days suffering in some hospice. The feeling at the funeral, that he had all planned, wasn't the usual sadness because he was the one who had decided. Seeing people dying with dementia and no longer having the ability to choose to die with any shred of dignity is heartbreaking. Their final days are monetized.

[@lulunz6809]

Do you not have palliative care where people can die at home in your country?

[@organicwest]

@@lulunz6809 Yes and no. depends on your living situation. Some pain will not always be relieved with drugs.

[@lulunz6809]

@@organicwest Well we can't guarantee that euthanasia is painless for the person either. It does appear to be painless however. There are so many options when it comes to anxiety relief and pain relief. Pain isn't a given when it comes to dying naturally from illness or age. I have seen many deaths now. Some of those conditions were considered the most painful to experience. One person in particular refused any opiates up until the time that he had hours left and even then he wasn't in pain. He was scared so I reassured him. It isn't all love and light when someone is imminently dying however neither is childbirth. The perception of pain by onlookers is what needs to be educated more.

[@organicwest]

@@lulunz6809 When my aunt is telling me that she is in pain, it is not my lack of perception of pain. My uncle just fell asleep. I do not need to be educated about pain.

[@lulunz6809]

@@organicwest Yes that is good she can tell you. Were you able to give her something for that? I am so pleased you were able to be there for her. I can 100% say that some people cannot cope with knowing their loved one is dying and seeing the process happening. Its why its so important we teach people about the final stages of dying and the ways they can help their loved one including in home pain medications which can be given by patches, slow release pump, subcutaneous injections which are easy to give and how to wet their mouths. Hospice will have nurses and support people pop in especially for giving medication. I have seen one side of my family absolutely not cope with seeing my uncle dying. He was in no pain but they struggled because they thought he was and thought he would be embarrassed to see himself like that. They also got frustrated at how long it took. I ended up taking over supporting him because they wanted to go back to work etc. What he needed was their reassurance and love. He did tell me he was scared. So I reassured him and we did give him something to help him relax. He wasn't in any pain. I felt so sad that the people he loved the most, couldn't be there. So I was. I am sure people choose euthanasia because they are scared of dying in pain or without dignity. It doesn't have to be that way at all. They are scared because there hasn't been good education about dying and the process. They also don't want to be an inconvenience. That is horrendous that people are ending their lives prematurely when they don't have to.

[@BeaIEngio]

When someone does something extreme without communicating, there's a reason they stopped communicating. Sorry for your loss, but this was what he wanted.

[@mariamoments478]

There's never a good reason for suicide....jesus is the hope for the hopeless

[@BeaIEngio]

There are often good reasons. You lack empathy and don't seem to realise that not many people in the UK believe in gods anymore. The crux of this debate is each to their own, his life, his choice, so wind it back in.

[@mariamoments478]

@@BeaIEngio triggered by jesus 😇

[@gelbsucht947]

@@mariamoments478Jesus won’t pay the rent or ease your unbearable suffering when you have a terminal illness.

[@mariamoments478]

@@gelbsucht947 I'm sorry it can be a horrible pain to bare....suffering is inevitable in life and can be terrible cross to carry when you feel alone.

[@ludwigotto3557]

People who want to die,will NOT tell you,that they are going to go through with it.They DONT want you getting in the way!!!! I hope he has found peace finally. Its our selfish nature that wants them to stick around for us.

[@jercasgav]

Exactly!!

[@sandralauzon9416]

He did not want interference. He was a grown man. He did not have to get parental permission. Cannot put your value system on someone else. He was determined and was going to do this. He did not want stopping so he did no tell them. Need to respect the choice he made.

[@amandalee8803]

Totally agree it's not up too ones family too enforce what they believe he should do. Grown man it's his choice what he wants with his life. Give him respect and keep the memories alive.

[@SandrinaN]

💯

[@lulunz6809]

@@amandalee8803 No person lives in complete isolation. So in stopping his pain, he caused other people pain and suffering. This is what people need to fully understand. People die all the time through circumstances beyond anyone's control and we know from that, that it can affect loved ones lives until they die. In fact the family may accept the death easily however a friend may not and it may cause them deep suffering. My point isn't to cause anyone to feel guilt however I don't think this type of situation should ever happen in isolation.

[@X33dbv]

@@lulunz6809it’s often the egoism that causes pain. He was free to do the best for himself and his Family is free to respect his decision.

[@lulunz6809]

@@X33dbv So if someone murders someone else because they were acting in ways that the murderer thought was against his own interests, then people can "choose" whether to be upset about it or not?? Your argument suggests that people are "free" to respect the murderers decision? I don't subscribe to your thinking.

[@Pazymaspaz]

This mother obviously had no real understanding of her son. He chose to die alone and didn't want any of his family with him. The mother might well have been rather controlling and interfering.

[@shannoncole6415]

That's a bit harsh. It is not the mother's fault that the son did not speak out. Don't blame anyone for the sin of another. You have clearly not been a mother. It is devastating and absolutely spiteful to leave people in hurting agony and pain because of your selfishness because you did or have God the Almighty in your life. You let the devil prevail. Instead we choose tablets, alcohol, drugs and anti depressants to fix us. Dr's are always prescribing meds that have side effects and dire consequences. God is love. Seek God First in everything.

[@josephang9927]

Or maybe he did not want to hurt her in life.

[@PunkDogCreations]

It sounds like you are projecting.

[@noctoi]

My thought exactly. If he didn't tell them, he either wanted to save them from legal ramifications or otherwise didn't feel SAFE telling them. That says more about the family than him of the Swedish healthcare system. Yeah typo, you know what I mean.

[@gazepskotzs4]

​@@noctoi it happened in Switserland not Sweden

[@owenwilliam6026]

Wow, such sad news. He was my old primary school teacher and a lovely guy too! It’s a shame his family couldn’t understand his pain.

[@noctoi]

Why should 'terminal" be a restriction? If a person is dealing with chronic pain or mental anguish that's untreatable or incurable, why should they be forced to live in torture for DECADES just because people are selfish enough to demand they stay. That's the most selfish, uncaring disgusting thing I could think of. I'm glad he managed to find someone to help him find that peace, and I think his family should take a good hard look at themselves if he didn't feel comfortable or safe enough to tell them what he was doing. It was HIS life, and it was HIS to end.

[@mysticalmaid]

People who have never gone through long-term severe depression are clueless to the level of suffering a depressed person goes through. Often, families only think of their own grief and dont consider how much suffering the depressed person experienced, even with family members who haven't died.

[@AboutSomethingYou]

How can you say, that severe, medical Depressions are not a terminal illness?!? That‘s outrageous. Depression has been the second (!) major cause of death in 2022. You calling a depression „low moods“ is a slap in the face of everyone having to live with that crippling, debilitating disease. Adam wanted to die. Would you‘ve liked it better if he had to chose another, more painful way to end his life? A way, that possibly would have traumatized other people on top of everything else? As a mother, I get the pain Adam‘s mom feels. But she has to accept her son‘s will.

[@combatduckie]

it s the same with panic attacks, a lot of people think it s jus another word for "having some extreme fear".....

[@Nancy20012]

Depression is now clinically called low mood at least in the UK

[@chenilleoneil1289]

So well put.

[@jaggirl]

Yes, it's draining and painful if you get the right treatment. But it's not fatal, though. That part of it really is in your hands. It's not fatal like stage 4 cancer etc. Where you have no choice. That will take your life.

[@jaggirl]

​@@combatduckie 8ve suffered from panick attacks. They are terrible and can be debilitating. But they aren't fatal. Help is out there. Unlike stage 4 cancer etc. That will 100% take your life.

[@ellenherman9543]

The mother is in denial...chronic depression and pain is no different than cancer! Not everyone wants to lives with this for the rest of your life!

[@noctoi]

Exactly. I'd much rather go BEFORE I'm stuck in a situation where I'm totally incapacitated and in full time care with no job and no life. Being tortured by your own body 24/7 is NOT living.

[@KristelleCelestin]

❤

[@jennh2096]

Yeah for some ignorant reason, way too many people just can't seem to understand that emotional pain is just as bad, if not worse than, physical pain. Especially considering we are actually much better at treating physical pain, than we are at treating mental or emotional pain. We have no right to demand that others continue to suffer so that we don't have to suffer losing them. That's about as selfish as it gets.

[@davidroscoe3815]

Exactly, emotional pain is no different from physical, in many ways it is unbearably worse, especially when you know it will be life long, unrelenting and incapacitating.

[@thelittlewitch253]

The family didn’t really count his pain. He didn’t feel heard.

[@lulunz6809]

I think its tempting to romanticize how he took his life. He had a history of mental health problems and was clearly ashamed of how his life had turned out so far. Is that a reason to help someone to end their life? Poor him, not having a wife and family or a home, so lets help him die?

[@thelittlewitch253]

@@lulunz6809 Having been involved with mental health issues, this society is blind. The family stated he felt “low”. To me, that statement describes a culture of “oh you will get better”. “Buck up.” “You’ll get through this” This is an attitude that does not help a person nor validate what he is feeling. Hence my statement, he didn’t feel heard. We don’t know what avenues he took to find help, only his family’s viewpoint.

[@lulunz6809]

@@thelittlewitch253 Well I definitely didn't say that. I have lived experience and have worked with many many other survivors who also have lost loved ones to suicide and I can say that through my experience and their's that we all were grateful we survived. It did take time however it did happen. Many of us got support through mental health services and counselling etc. That was despite there not being a great understanding until more recent years. I think its important not to place blame on the family or the people who tried to help him. He did what he did and they couldn't stop him. I think its important not to romanticize what he did by justifying his choice. And suggesting he did it to save them pain is very wrong. He caused them so much pain because he didn't tell them where he was going. He was missing and that was very unfair. He obviously wasn't thinking clearly or he wouldn't have chosen that decision.

[@22Purplemist]

@@lulunz6809 - justifying his choice doesn't romanticise his suicide in any way. Maybe he didn't want to cause them pain and thought this was the best option. Unfortunately, there is pain either way but they certainly didn't seem to recognise his pain. How do you know he wasn't thinking clearly? You weren't there! You don't know him. You have lived experience of what?

[@susanWilder2175]

Still not hearing his voice

[@floreenvanille3935]

In Switzerland you don't need to be terminal to have access to euthanasia. Depression or other chronic mental health conditions are also in the inclusion criteria. I've spend 10+ years in the swiss healthcare system so I know enough to say that this channel is not telling the whole truth about this case. Screenings to access these services are very ethical and thorough. There's a reason why this guy didn't tell anything to his parents. You never know how the pain will be so unbearable that it's your only exit option. Thank you Dignitas for assisting these people to pass with dignity

[@lulunz6809]

Shame on them. Mental illness can cause people to think irrationally. I know so many survivors who are so pleased their attempts didn't work and they went on to live good lives. Many furthered their education and got great jobs as well as had children. The recovery rate for mental health disorders is good. While it doesn't feel like it at the time, people recover.

[@lulunz6809]

So if he went there and said he didn't feel physically well and was sick of it, would that be a good enough reason to assist someone to die? If someone said they are embarrassed because they are 47 and weren't married and didn't have children, would that be enough of a reason? If someone said they were back home living with their parents and they felt disappointed and wanted to die, is that enough of a reason? Many of those things are disappointments in life however can be overcome. I fail to see how there was an ethical decision there.

[@taylormaddux8433]

But wasn't it Pegasos instead of Dignitas?

[@Bukurije_]

​@@lulunz6809 this is very true. I can confirm that.

[@bm.6349]

@@lulunz6809some things just can’t be overcome. If you’re life has been disappointing for 40 something years what are the chances of things changing for the better? Truly? Maybe the people you talk about had decent lives to begin with but their mental illness didn’t let them see that. They’re life wasn’t actually painful or disappointing.

[@SharonNolfi]

It was his choice to die. Perhaps he didn't tell his mother because she seems in denial about his mental pain. It's nobody's business but the person who wants to die.

[@Ragglesnap]

He was 47 and it was his choice. Until you've lived with pain, you can not tell how it affects people. It was better that he went this way and not by violent methods. Most people when they are dying, wait until the family have left the room, then they just slip away. So sorry the family are having to go through this heartbreak and I hope they come to some kind of peace.

[@whitneyanders5945]

My dad died like that. Was holding on whilst we were in the room. We told him it was ok to let go and left the room and when we came back he was gone.

[@mummylilbear6088]

Been their worse depression thank God for helping me get help

[@lulunz6809]

A violent death wasn't inevitable in his case. People who are suicidal do change their minds and often survivors of suicide attempts are relieved it didn't work. His living situation could have changed and he could have fallen in love. While people seem to be supportive of his choice to end it all by getting help in Switzerland, they need to remember that there is suicide contagion that can happen so mental health services and public health put a lot of effort into making sure family and friends get a lot of support because it can lead to more deaths. Nobody lives completely alone. Our life and death affect other people. So while this may have been a "tidier" option, his family are traumatised. The adults can describe it and support each other. Maybe even reach out for help however does he have nephews, nieces, his pupils? His work colleagues. His death would have affected others. People need to recognise the choices we make can ruin someone else's life or our life can contribute to others enjoyment of life. His poor family. At least they are being supported.

[@HunnieB_vtuber]

While I do understand the pain that his mother is experiencing, he probably did not want to cause pain for the family and took off as quietly as possible. Her own words express a story that shows that he wasn’t okay, whether or not she wants to accept it or not. It’s also obvious he couldn’t or didn’t feel like he could talk to her about his mental health tanking etc. idk if he was in counseling. So he might not have felt he had anyone. No wife no kids and then not able to talk to his family was probably lonely. And she speaks a lot of “we as a family thinks” and it’s not up to them. Just because her perception of him was that he would get better, doesn’t mean he would and doesn’t mean that’s how he felt. If he was really mentally ill, and really struggling with some mystery illness, and he wanted to die with dignity, I feel that’s his right. I know people think it’s selfish, but it isnt. We do not go off on a cancer patient who is terminal if they stop chemo and decides to die. We should look at this the same way. I do hope the family finds peace, but I feel that he did what he felt was necessary and best for him.

[@fuzzykyrra]

As a mental health nurse I have looked after many people experiencing suicidal ideation either as a symptom of a mood disorder, subtance use or situational crisis or any combination of these- and always aim to provide comfort to people at their most vulnerable and restore a sense of hope in each individual. On the flip side, having very recently been diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder myself following several serious suicide attempts, I can see the appeal these assisted dying facilities might have for some people. This is such a contentious topic. I don't know what the right answer is. I feel bad for both the family and for the deceased individual, but hope he has found peace and that his family will find peace in time as well.

[@oeilgris]

this is too bizarre. Switzerland does not agree to do that just like that. They would ask for a psychoanalysis for a good year before as well as prove of terminal illness. This did not happened how the family says. There is something missing there.

[@carolwilder2289]

Sadly, true. But they are not at Liberty to disclose this information.

[@Mmoose712]

Yes there's something about this story that doesn't make sense.

[@ange3550]

Sorry but that's incorrect you do not have to have a terminal illness to end your life by euthanasia in Switzerland. Many ppl who suffered from depression go there to end their lives.

[@22Purplemist]

@@ange3550 - depression can be a terminal illness as he proved, just not in the way society perceives "terminal illness".

[@tw8464]

True they're not telling whole story

[@myahowlett6995]

maybe he had a diagnosis and didn’t tell his family weight loss and stomach issues maybe he knew what was wrong he was trying to spare his family of the grief but this is such a shame, he seemed depressed that’s different to low mood more people education on depression ❤

[@mummylilbear6088]

Would been pick up in autopsy

[@lulunz6809]

He caused them suffering and grief by going missing and not telling them where he was. That was incredibly self focused. In saying that he was mentally unwell obviously and most likely could only think that way which is why they should never have done it.

[@thepalettewhispererasmr1227]

@@mummylilbear6088was there one performed?

[@22Purplemist]

@@mummylilbear6088 - there may not have been one

[@22Purplemist]

@@lulunz6809 - self-focused is another way of saying selfish. It isn't selfish!

[@StephenmilesHall-tz7hk]

Parents are delusional. True evil is to force ppl to live. Straight up obsession with your own children n selfishness. You can't cage a soul.

[@nilanjana5909]

🙄

[@marvolom787]

It's common for people who choose to end their lives to have good time just before taking that step. They made their peace. And one can see the mother mistaken that calm period for recovery... while i feel sorry for her for loosing her son, it was his decision and his struggle.

[@beckylipps7286]

I totally agree with this choice if the person has a terminal illness. This man was not a child. He must have hated life. This is sad!

[@Emma-Rose]

I do not agree that this man’s choices is a danger to others. The family should NOT be grieving in public. He was a man who died with dignity but his mother is telling the world. Have respect for his choices, grieve in private.

[@amandamorgan2802]

There is truth in that.

[@judybrennan7930]

You cant really tell someone how to greive

[@Northeast151]

No matter how sick her son may be now parents wants to loose their children. She's the mother how could she not grief?

[@jaykay3839]

You think she can't tell him how to die, yet, you think you can tell her how to grieve? Quite the double standard.

[@judybrennan7930]

@@jaykay3839 good one !

[@bonniewhite8093]

People deserve MERCY.

[@shannoncole6415]

God gives U Mercy

[@makingtoast]

Amen 🙏

[@joecheffo5942]

@@shannoncole6415 so are you saying that a judge can’t give a criminal mercy in his sentencing? He has to wait for God. A landlord can’t lower the rent out of compassion? Doctor can’t give someone morphine if they’re in pain? Do they also have to wait for God?

[@keepingitreal618]

@@shannoncole6415😂😂😂😂😂

[@keepingitreal618]

@@shannoncole6415well remember that next time your Ill rely totally on your god good luck with that

[@saraconcetta9392]

Assisted suicide should be available for everybody. The problem starts where the mother of Allister thinks he was not of a sound mind. Why do people think that? It is very likely that he was very clear in his mind and therefore chose this method. Depression is not a disease. It is a sign that the soul is suffering tremendoulsy. Belittling people with depression certainly doesn't help. I wonder who she would have blamed for Allister's death if he jumped off a cliff...... Blaming Pegasos is certainly wrong. And not taking Allister seriously was probably one reason that lead to his death.

[@adjuafrican2664]

I love your intelligent reasoning. So many ppl just can't understand that not everyone wants to live to old age. This world is not a nice place and many ppl want to leave. Make exiting easier, l agree.

[@trixiec4880]

Severe depression distorts your perception of reality. You clearly see that once you come out of it, from someone's who been there.

[@saraconcetta9392]

@@trixiec4880 so you're lucky that you made it out.... a lot of people never get out and live like that for decades. I don't think your severe depression lasted a decade, did it? The question is also, WHY does someone have a severe depression. Some get more help because it is easier to solve, some just don't. Keep that in mind.

[@saraconcetta9392]

@@adjuafrican2664 thank you... I agree, this world is not a nice place (for everybody).

[@trixiec4880]

@@saraconcetta9392 Mine lasted from about age 11 to about 30 it was severe. In my experience this kind of depression and hopelessness is a combination of a sensitive personality, circumstances you can't control, upbringing, and lack of self-confidence, which is instilled, not instilled, or crushed early in a child's life. A good sense of self-worth and confidence are the most important things a child needs as the basic foundation to feel they can handle or overcome life's challenges and circumstances. Without that, there is hopelessness, and where there is hopelessness there is fear, depression, and anxiety without being able to see a way out.

[@DianneDuggan-sn5si]

This poor man should not be vilified. His mother is just thinking of herself. He has every right to take his own life. I understand his reasons and hope that should the time come, I will be able to take my own life. He didn’t tell his family because he knew he would face opposition. How does his mother know what her son was feeling inside.

[@shomshomni2314]

The man just thinking about himself also. He decided that his suffering was more important than his mother's and family.

[@Sam___Smith]

We are not promised a perfect or fair life. In this life you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world -Jesus. In the Word, God warns us out of love, not willing that any should perish. He says whoever destroys his temple, him also, I will destroy!- God Your life and your body is not your own, it's given to you on loan. If you can not be faithful over little, how can I set you over much?- God

[@barbarajimenez6312]

​@shomshomni2314 it's not a freaking competition of who is suffering the most, it's about a human being"s right to die with dignity. No one living in excruciating pain should be forced to live that way just to please their family.

[@shomshomni2314]

@@barbarajimenez6312 It's still a very selfish thing to do. His family were not suffering before but now they are. He caused that. I often hear stories of the other family member committing suicide as a result.

[@Luxx411]

@@shomshomni2314 He didn't cause that, his illness did. The widely held belief that a person can hold on to life no matter how unbearable their life is only creates more pain in the end as families are left completely bewildered as to why their relative did what they did. I think he should have phoned them before he died, though.

[@maxmanx1294]

The mom seems to be making this about her - like she's the victim. He had apparently been suffering for years. He was the victim. He wanted to end his suffering. The problem isnt that the service is being offered. The problem is society doesnt prioritize mental health care & mental illness like depression is stigmatized.

[@PunkDogCreations]

She is a victim as well.

[@jacquelinewakefield2394]

That was a cruel thing to say about a mother who loved her son dearly.

[@lilithowl]

​@@jacquelinewakefield2394she is selfish, in denial, and now trying to make it harder for others. The grief is natural... but she needs to accept her adult son's decision with good grace.

[@TwistedHeart74]

I have chronic pain due to fibromyalgia, r.a., osteoarthritis, neuropathy amd a bad back surgery. There are days it takes every ounce of my formidable will to stay alive. When you sit at a 5 on the pain scale EVERY SINGLE DAY, it wears on you, mind, body and soul. People who don't suffer like that really don't understand. Goddess bless and be with his family.

[@aethellstan]

his life, he decided to commit suicide. sad but this doesn't change my mind on assisted death.

[@natnat8393]

Same

[@maryeconomou6573]

This was and is evil.

[@winstonjen5360]

@@maryeconomou6573 Opposing compassion is genuine evil.

[@romycerratti3716]

Evil.

[@winstonjen5360]

@@romycerratti3716 Anyone who opposes end of life choice is evil.

[@AngelChristinaaa]

My mom had terrible stomach problems that plagued her for decades. They couldn’t ever diagnose the issue but she lost 50 pounds and looked so frail. They said it was like Crohns or colitis but not exactly. I can sympathize with his pain. It really played on my mother’s emotional and mental well being. She finally just gave up the will to live because she couldn’t barely eat without such pain. I’m so sorry this happened to this mother and her son.

[@lisaadams42]

I’m sorry for your loss.

[@ssuwandi3240]

Colon cancer likely.

[@princess-pumpkin]

I'm really sorry for your loss firstly. Your poor mum! Secondly I do understand this man. It's awful, but I understand how hopeless it can be. I'm currently going through a similar thing. I have been in misery for about 7 years. I'm a lady, who can't work, has to live with my family, and cannot get a diagnosis, or find anything to help. It's frustrating going to appointments, being told what it isn't, but not being able to find an answer as to what's causing your misery. It can be a very dark place, when you truly feel like there's no way out :(

[@Blenduu]

Sincere thoughts and sympathy for your mom's journey. I pray you have peace as this is never easy ❤

[@gladiatrx3]

@@ssuwandi3240 "Colon cancer likely." Cancer, even the most indolent (non-aggressive) colon cancer, doesn't plague you for decades, so I'd have to disagree with you there.

[@gelbsucht947]

So now this woman has made it her business to make it harder for everyone else to obtain an assisted suicide! Her son was clearly of sound mind and made his own choice. His life had become unacceptable to him. That’s sad for her but he obviously had his reasons for not telling her of his intentions. It’s a personal tragedy but why should other people be denied the facility he enjoyed?

[@samjohns3227]

I think he knew if he discussed it with his family his mother would certainly lay a huge guilt trip on him.

[@jessicaolson490]

Actually if you're suicidal you're not in a sound mind. There's a difference in somebody who's terminally ill and facing a terrible death versus one that's quicker and cleaner and somebody who's depressed wanting to end their life. Psychologically if you're suicidal you are not of sound mind. Typically depression wants treated erases the suicidal impulses. And even the rare cases where it's intractable doesn't make it automatically sound thinking.

[@lemon-yi6yh]

@@jessicaolson490 "Actually if you're suicidal you're not in a sound mind" Who's to say and on what grounds? The audacity on you people.

[@taylormaddux8433]

@@jessicaolson490 Some people might say you're sounding somewhat arrogant.

[@chenilleoneil1289]

@@jessicaolson490People of sound mind end their lives everyday. It is no measure of GOOD health to be well adjusted to a profoundly wicked and unfair world.

[@Litigator-4-life]

If a 47-year-old man is living as he was with nothing to look forward to, don't condemn him or the organization that helped him exit on his own terms. There seems to be a lot of hubris and judgement in this piece.

[@ssuwandi3240]

So two brains, two working legs, arms and eyes and ears and straight back were nothing? I once met a set up date without half of the above senses functioning, but he still came out. He worked as a comedian on stage.. He fell while ducking the basketball then went into coma but made a comeback.. He still looked as worthy as a human being. It's called Being Alive! This lad could visit Ukraine and see the real handicapped folks

[@Litigator-4-life]

@@ssuwandi3240 Please don't diminish Alister Hamilton's feelings. Telling a depressed person he's so much better off than someone with a prosthetic or terminal cancer is not going to change his mind or mood, but he will recognize that you, too, are not going to validate his feelings or offer any meaningful support.

[@mariamoments478]

U don't believe a sick man when he says he has nothing to look forward to. He took that thought seriously. He was vulnerable and clearly wasn't in his right mind....

[@Herbie-Went-Bananas-Then-Split]

@@Litigator-4-life Apparently he was also in a lot of pain. I've reached the stage of my life (60s) where my osteoarthritis continues to worsen, I cannot take medication for it due to their propensity to cause stomach ulcers, I also cannot take pain killers as I am extremely allergic. Seeing my quality of life reducing significantly, plus the extensive knowledge gleaned from decades of having worked in the health care sector (senior practitioner), is enough for me to know how I do NOT want my life to end. I want to go when I decide, with dignity, peace of mind. Not writhing in agony in a hospital bed or nursing home bed stewing in my own body fluids. No one deserves to tell/dictate to another how they should live, or end, their life.

[@whitneyanders5945]

Insulting for you to assume you know more about how this man was feeling than the man himself. He wanted to die and did it with dignity. You have no right to assume that he could just get over it and that he ‘wasn’t in his right mind’.

[@VIKASKUMAR-wf5xk]

I'll tell you what he might have gone through before dying: I have applied to Dignitas for assisted suicide. I am 28 years old Indian living in Germany. I have been thinking about death for more than 3 years now. I have been in ZfP (Psychiatric ward) for 4 times with the same issue for almost 6 months. Nothing changed. I still want to die. I reached out to Pegasos, but they said I am 28 and they consider me to be young (They are nobody to decide if I am young or old). If someone who is single, is tired of life/this motherf king world and wish to die, nobody can stop him/her to die. Now, this family thing: Even, I told my family many times that I want to die, can/did they do anything about it? They can't. Nobody can. Even the doctors couldn't help me. I have given my medical reports to dignitas, I hope soon, I too will leave this world. I genuinely feel if someone wants to die peacefully, they should be given a peaceful death. I hate the fact that I was born in this world. Don't talk to me about family nonsense. The day I would die, will be the happiest day of my life. I hope that's clear.😊

[@LiLaLizzy8]

Hello, how are you doing now? I am also German. Bit I beklieve after the cases of Dr. Spitteler and Dr. Turowski it is impossible to die for psychiatric reasons with an organization. As far as I know (and I talked to all of the German organizations, young, physical illness) all the German organizations don't take people with mental health issues... Even if you have severe chronic diseases they won't help you, when you are young.

[@giannabarret9262]

Stop BLAMING Switzerland the man was dead a long time ago!!!

[@jooc2751]

He probably couldn't get through to his GP surgery or get any mental health support. That's where we're at in the UK now. He was suffering with no chance of meaningful support & treatment other than "text SHOUT or call the Samaritans" neither of which you can get through to or who can offer the real help he needed. It's shameful. Deepest sympathy for him & his loved ones.

[@chenilleoneil1289]

Don’t project your own grievances onto him.

[@mysticalmaid]

This is what it's like in the U.K. now, mental health services for severe depression are sorely lacking. Good mental health support can save lives.

[@pixie3458]

Yes support for mental illness is woefully inadequate. My daughter suffered with a depression so bad that she was unable to speak or recognise herself in photos. It was a terrible time. Mental health service were determined to discharge her (she was being cared for at home) because she 'wouldn't co operate'. She was incapable of co operating. We fought on and thanks to the absolutely wonderful psychiatrist we saw she recovered and is living a fantastic life. Even then, there is no follow up and GPs just say that they can't help

[@davidroscoe3815]

Mental health support is hopeless from my experience with suicidal thoughts. In fact they often make things worse.

[@allisonlew4508]

I am sure he thought long and hard about doing this. He must have been in unbearable pain physically and emotionally.

[@Sam___Smith]

He didn't have right over life and death. He isn't God. Your life is not your own, your body is not your own. It's on loan from God. To see if you will be faithful in small matters. If you cannot be faithful over little how can I set you over much? If you cannot be faithful over what is not your own, how can I set you over what is your own? -God

[@jercasgav]

@@Sam___Smith Then by your logic ALL lifesaving medical care should be denied too. Why? Because if God gives you pneumonia or a bad injury etc...he is trying to take you back home and it is your appointed time to pass away. IF you use medical care to prevent passing (surgery, antibiotics, etc), then YOU are taking agency over something that supposedly ONLY God is allowed agency over (when we live and when we don't). It is hypocritical to intervene when God is naturally causing death, but then say when a person wants to induce it due to intense suffering they are not allowed. We also should never be allowed to take the life of an animal either per your theory, no matter how much the poor animal is suffering. Also...you like your little religious beliefs about God and like to practice them without anyone telling you that you cannot right? Well then...don't go around imposing your religious ideas on someone else who does NOT share them, and dictating how they should live based upon your own beliefs personally.

[@MichaelReilly-r7h]

@@allisonlew4508 Very sad indeed but you can't think straight i(logically)in that situation. Been there and thank God I didn't respond by killing myself. My sister tried twice but we intervened and she lived to 86 and enjoyed much of that time

[@alicjap3482]

It is a terrible tragedy for the family. On the other hand there should be an option of assisted dying in every country so people would not have to travel to Switzerland and pay for it. I live in Canada and I'm very grateful that option exists here. People who never experienced mental illness have no way of understanding what it does to a person. Some are lucky they can be helped with medication. Unfortunately the antidepressants don't work for everybody.

[@Sam___Smith]

We are not promised a perfect or fair life. In this life you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world -Jesus. In the Word, God warns us out of love, not willing that any should perish. He says whoever destroys his temple, him also, I will destroy!- God Your life and your body is not your own, it's given to you on loan. If you can not be faithful over little, how can I set you over much?- God

[@Лилия-ы3т6ц]

If God exists why it happens

[@shiningstar5919]

He's was a grown man. Period.

[@PeacefulEndofLife]

I'm sorry for the anguish that the family has gone through. However, I'm not sure they really understood the extent of his pain and suffering. People often do not share (especially with family) the degree of their suffering, preferring instead to protect them from the harsh realities of their condition. Bottom line is, no one could understand what he was going through and why he chose to end his life this way. As a Death Doula, I believe very strongly in a person’s right to choose when it is appropriate to end their life. For all those suffering from either physical or mental anguish, they should have the autonomy to make this deeply personal decision, and no one should have the right to stop them. Hoping one day that Medical Aid in Dying is available for all who wish to use it.

[@whitneyanders5945]

Thank you for what you do and the care and respect you give to those during their final journey.

[@Sam___Smith]

We are not promised a perfect or fair life. In this life you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world -Jesus. In the Word, God warns us out of love, not willing that any should perish. He says whoever destroys his temple, him also, I will destroy!- God Your life and your body is not your own, it's given to you on loan. If you can not be faithful over little, how can I set you over much?- God

[@keldpede]

It is only him who can say wheater or not life is worth living. You should never let family influence your decision.

[@corinnamyers6625]

I am sorry for your loss. He was however old enough to make his own decision . I believe Assisted dying is up to the individual.

[@wintercame]

🎯 They did not walk in his shoes. Nor did he need the permission of his family, however saddened they may be. He gave plenty of clues as to his reasons.

[@lulunz6809]

@@wintercame Having low mood, living at home with his parents, being physically unwell and being in the process of finding the cause. Not having a wife and family. He needed therapy not an assisted death. It sounded more like he felt so ashamed that he decided to go away and die alone. Depression alters your thinking. That was not a dignified death.

[@wintercame]

@@lulunz6809You are not walking in his shoes. You are walking in your shoes. Therapy does not always change what afflicts. Death does.

[@lulunz6809]

@@wintercame Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[@wintercame]

@@lulunz6809That's just a trope. For him it was as long as his life went on. He put a period on it.

[@tanyabrown9839]

His choice. He would have suffered more if he'd suicided all alone. It sounds like he was suffering far more than his family were aware. Unfortunately many people will play down things when another is suffering. He was unexplainably loosing weight so also may have had something very seriously wrong too.

[@baitmate6414]

Feel for her and her family but like she says about a railway track, he went out on his own terms in a dignified way, ofc I wish he had the help he obviously needed but I know how I’d rather go out

[@mariamoments478]

He obviously wasn't in a sound mind and was vulnerable.....its not just one person that dies its now multiple people that have loved him have to suffer mental health problems as well.

[@Herbie-Went-Bananas-Then-Split]

@@mariamoments478 Give it a rest. You'd rather that person remain and suffer physically, psychologically and emotionally so that others can feel more comfortable.. speaks volumes.

[@rosemarymonty5399]

His illness had not been diagnosed and he had been dealing with pain, etc with apparently no end in site.

[@bernardofitzpatrick5403]

Handsome dude. Best jawline ever. Sad he was so without any hope. Never know what others go through/suffer.

[@riakendall8610]

Its a clean and dignified way to opt out. In my case, opt out of excruiating nerve pain. I don't want to involve anyone else in a traumatic way, be that a train driver, or my family finding me, trying to 'save' me. The world is over populated, I can't work, can't afford care.

[@Sam___Smith]

We are not promised a perfect or fair life. In this life you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world -Jesus. In the Word, God warns us out of love, not willing that any should perish. He says whoever destroys his temple, him also, I will destroy!- God Your life and your body is not your own, it's given to you on loan. If you can not be faithful over little, how can I set you over much?- God

[@thomasmiller1340]

@@Sam___Smith I take it you don’t know what it is like to live with constant nerve pain that leaves you completely bedridden and housebound that only gets worse year after year for the last 17 years like I do. It’s one thing to share your beliefs just please don’t ever try to impose your religion on the rest of us by making assisted death illegal.

[@Sam___Smith]

@@thomasmiller1340 to the contrary of your statement, I know what it's like to live a life of suffering, almost changed my name to misery or suffering. This test will be short compared to eternity, think it over.

[@sadhanamoodley99]

No offence intended, but his mother sounds like she is gaslighting his feelings and probably gaslit him while he was alive which lead him to feel that he was crazy or he didn't feel supported and maybe decided to end it all by himself.

[@Dobviews]

He was an adult who made the decision that suited his wants/needs. He is not a child, mom lost her boy but cannot seem to let go. She wants to blame someone, anyone for his decision.

[@Sam___Smith]

He didn't have right over life and death. He isn't God. Your life is not your own, your body is not your own. It's on loan from God. To see if you will be faithful in small matters. If you cannot be faithful over little how can I set you over much? If you cannot be faithful over what is not your own, how can I set you over what is your own? -God

[@Dobviews]

@@Sam___Smith Keep your ideology to yourself, not everyone shares in the nonsense.

[@Sam___Smith]

@@Dobviews you could keep your ideologies to yourself as well, not everyone shares in the nonsense either, but you said what you said and I said what I said!

[@oyamawapiti]

@@Dobviews Please keep your opinion to yourself. Not everyone appreciates your naive perspective.

[@Dobviews]

@@oyamawapiti Is that supposed to silence me or something. As for your opinion, I would have to value it first... *I don't.*

[@AnonymousWon-uu5yn]

First the parents force them into this extremely unfair and cruel existence and then society tries to force them to continue to exist even if they no longer want to exist.

[@JohnParks-zc1pn]

I do not favor the legalization of assisted suicide, and I extend my sympathy for her loss, but I am having trouble understanding her point. He was 47 years old, an adult, and he did not need anyone’s permission to end his life, nor is he required to inform anyone of his decision in advance.

[@monjekay2234]

You're having trouble understanding her point because you had no relationship with him. She's a grieving mother. He might have been 47 years old, but he was still the child she gave birth to, raised and loved. You can't expect her to just shrug it off and say oh, well, he did not need anyone’s permission to end his life nor was he required to inform anyone of his decision in advance. That is just cold.

[@philippamcqueen5430]

What you say doesn't make sense...you are supporting assisted suicide saying that he's old enough to make up his own mind.

[@chenilleoneil1289]

@@monjekay2234This poor man didn’t ask to be born. His mother wanted a child for her own amusement, KNOWING that the child could suffer psychological and physical torture if he drew the wrong straw in life. But she chose HERSELF over his potential agony.

[@AeiSedai1976]

This isn't a danger!! The reality is that he CHOSE this path and it disnt include his mother. As a monther my heart tears for her but i respect his CHOICE

[@camerachica73]

It is absolutely the individual's choice - people who don't experience the physical pain of depression just don't know the relentless dreariness of it and the idea that there's a chance of permanent relief, I can totally understand why some choose to go this route. Of course it's painful for the loved ones, but it would have been worse to come home from shopping and find him hanging in the hallway.

[@Sam___Smith]

He didn't have right over life and death. He isn't God. Your life is not your own, your body is not your own. It's on loan from God. To see if you will be faithful in small matters. If you cannot be faithful over little how can I set you over much? If you cannot be faithful over what is not your own, how can I set you over what is your own? -God

[@paulMcnamara-y5r]

I am a 50 year old guy recently loss both my parents so close to their loss has broken me plus i never married or had kids and not to well at all. I understand how he felt watching this given me hope it be over soon.

[@forestcats]

His life, his choice. Didn’t leave a mess to find. Quite considerate

[@sophieandwayne]

I understand their pain but the feeling of suicide is so powerful and he didn’t want to put his family through finding him passed. I expect he didn’t want to be talked out of it because unless you have severe depression you cannot understand how it makes you feel. Sorry for your loss ❤

[@KristelleCelestin]

❤

[@liliworth8098]

The loved ones left behind of course will have questions… however, his choice MUST be respected. No one but Alistair can know… so STOP interfering with taking away other peoples options.

[@whitneyanders5945]

Maybe if he felt more comfortable around them he could have expressed his feelings easier and they could have joined him for his final journey. It’s selfish to expect loved ones to keep living when they are in pain and ready to go.

[@shiningstar5919]

And choices

[@PunkDogCreations]

That is selfish. Now his loved ones sit with the pain and loss.

[@jercasgav]

@@PunkDogCreations So he was supposed to live out the rest of his days for probably decades with low quality of life, in physical and mental pain then huh?? Not living really and suffering so that some of his family members could feel "good" about themselves as they went through their days because he was alive? He never asked for his mind and body to give out on him. That is the thing folks need to remember...people do this because they are suffering tremendously and have legit reasons. Regardless, we all own our own bodies. When someone chooses to ride in a car without a seatbelt, do drugs, smoke cigarettes/drink too much alcohol, or get morbidly obese they are unaliving themselves too technically (often in a slower way, but it is still unaliving). IF you choose to save your life with medical care, you can also choose to end it with medical care.

[@lilithowl]

​@@PunkDogCreationsyou have no empathy

[@natalielongarini229]

I can relate to many of the sources of suffering he experienced. I'm chronically ill and suffer from chronic migraines, crohn's disease, stage 4 endometriosis, arthritis, etc. I couldn't have children and am single. I work as an educator but my wage is far from a living wage and my landlady wants to sell my current house and I can't afford even a studio apartment but don't have family I can move in with. Life is about survival only at this point. Every day is a battle just to keep my head above water. I wouldn't end my life but this sure doesn't feel like living. Im highly empathetic and care deeply about humans and animals yet I see so much indifference towards the suffering of others in society. I'm 42 and just see years of more struggle ahead of me. I'm saddened he felt the need to end his life but I know that his mind was torturing him and he was enduring physical, mental, and emotional pain that others simply wouldn't be able to understand unless they've experienced it themselves.

[@Kellz58]

Unless others are in our boat, they'll never understand what it's like. There's many of us like this still fighting to stay alive, ppl don't realize it's about severe emotional and or physical chronic pain. It's not for anyone to judge, one day I will have to answer to God too for my attempt. My kids are the only reason I didn't succeed, and my faith. Do take care, and know there are others who suffer with you ❤

[@JuneRowe-ny2ze]

My Heart aches for his mum but honestly i can also feel his need and pain he's at peace now bless him ❤ 😢❤😢

[@kathleenlivori6388]

So brave and admirable of you to talk about your tragic loss and experience.

[@mariewalmsley6143]

Still think it should be allowed for those who choose it in the uk.

[@BruceDanton-xw6eg]

Yes indeed so too I feel of. Course albeit alas too.

[@Beautycomesoutofashes]

Absolutely not! There is always a way out.

[@mariewalmsley6143]

Not when it's terminal ,silly comment.

[@simplysheagoodness9878]

Definitely not, people would take their lives with something as little as a headache. Just as no one determined their time of birth, or the family they were born into, no one should end their life or be assisted to end it. Life is precious and problems are inevitable but temporary!

[@ssuwandi3240]

Of course not. There are always more worthy choices than playing God. It took 6 days to create humanity. Meaning that Life is never about a race with his siblings or anyone's made up belief opinion / standard. Period.

[@kayligo]

She’s in complete denial…..let him rest in peace.

[@sharonouellette4546]

He had obviously surrered most his life with pain . He was 47, and still was able to make his decisions. You cannot force a person to live. I approve of his decision. No one should tell you , "you have to stay here and suffer _____years more of pain and depression. He had enough.

[@Sam___Smith]

He didn't have right over life and death. He isn't God. Your life is not your own, your body is not your own. It's on loan from God. To see if you will be faithful in small matters. If you cannot be faithful over little how can I set you over much? If you cannot be faithful over what is not your own, how can I set you over what is your own? -God

[@IreZico]

The drive to keep someone alive for your own benefit is as cruel in my opinion. He might have smiled and seemed happy but they never know how deeply hurting that individual is. If the individual no longer wants to live or has the will to live anymore, no matter if assisted suicide is brought in or not, that does not stop them from taking their lives. The difference is one way that keeps being refused and people not wanting to be brought in because its inhumane or whatever reason, its against their beliefs etc, is just as selfish as when the individual does take their life through other methods. Everyone else would call the person selfish because of the heartache to the ones left behind, but in turn its selfish in those people to keep forcing someone who has lost their will to live and no longer can continue in life that have made a sound mind decision they want to end it but are forced to live for others. Thats selfish. It’s time everyone get their own choice and not down to what other peoples beliefs are. You don’t let a dog suffer so why is it okay to let humans suffer. Each individual life is that individuals alone, no one else has the right to tell them their decision.

[@charlottelee3727]

It also shows what people are going through with the DWP and NHS with undiagnosed conditions.

[@joanrankin2827]

He had every right to do what he did and he wasn't obligated to tell anyone. This doesn't need to be a "warning" to anyone. You shouldn't be headlining this like he was murdered.

[@Sam___Smith]

He didn't have right over life and death. He isn't God. Your life is not your own, your body is not your own. It's on loan from God. To see if you will be faithful in small matters. If you cannot be faithful over little how can I set you over much? If you cannot be faithful over what is not your own, how can I set you over what is your own? -God

[@joanrankin2827]

You go ahead and believe what you want but those beliefs don't to apply others. If you believe this then don't go for health care, don't get treatment for terminal disease because clearly your disease has been given to you by God. Pass your life to God if you want while other people can make other choices.

[@earthrooster1969]

You sound like God..rather the God that humans have created to use to judge others​@@joanrankin2827

[@amandamorgan2802]

​@@joanrankin2827Some must always preach, must they not?

[@bereal6590]

Nope, my body my choice. This won't change my mind

[@flowerpowerocks3283]

Don't let your ego define you

[@thankstocalebchung1556]

@@flowerpowerocks3283 Huh?

[@atis9061]

@@flowerpowerocks3283don’t let yours either. You are being used by your own projection

[@Sam___Smith]

Your body is not your own, your life is not your own, it's on loan to you to see if you can be faithful over a small matter. If you cannot be faithful over little, how can I set you over much. If you cannot be faithful over what is not your own, how can I set you over what is your own.?-God

[@thankstocalebchung1556]

@@Sam___Smith It’s your choice if you want to have a religious belief. Have some respect for others that don’t necessarily have the same beliefs.

[@LithaMoonSong]

People need to understand that they can not conceive of the pain a depressed or mentally ill person is in, and should stop thinking they know best for another, I'm sorry they lost their son, but just listening to them you can tell they never heard his true depths of pain.

[@ObamAmerican48]

He was done. I know it's painful for families, but some people stop living long before their body stops working.

[@Sam___Smith]

He didn't have right over life and death. He isn't God. Your life is not your own, your body is not your own. It's on loan from God. To see if you will be faithful in small matters. If you cannot be faithful over little how can I set you over much? If you cannot be faithful over what is not your own, how can I set you over what is your own? -God

[@neirinjoseph6817]

Her attitude is probably a big giveaway as to why he did what did. The man was in his 40's, and his mother is still treating him like he is a teenager, going on GMB to warn of the "dangers of assisted dying," as if he were a 17-year-old boy who tried a drug at a party and died as a result, rather than a fully grown man, fully aware of his choices; I don't blame him for what he did if he was still being infantilised like this into his 40's. People do not need to be warned about Dignitas, many people her age and above choose Dignitas when faced with life threatening or chronic illness. What is supposed to be the outcome of this? Now other elderly mothers couped up at home with their adult sons are supposed to wag their fingers, "now, don't you go flying to Switzerland as well!" as if it were a warning against taking up the offer of drugs from other kids on the school bus? Adults make their own choices in life. This grown man was not a child. The narrative should be focused on the Oedipal nature of this situation... Adults who struggle to find independence suffer (just look at the cartoonist Robert Crumb's late brother, Charles Vincent Crumb Jr.) This is a matter of human development and the Oedipus complex and its natural consequences, not of vulnerable people being somehow enticed by malicious organisations...

[@shennel7304]

This is sad but itll never change my mind on assisted suicide, i myself have discussed it many times with my family, with having so many chronic illnesses and being in constant pain on a daily basis, stop scaremongering, its not fair on the people that need that service

[@jujutrini8412]

I think it’s good that they are telling people about this because it should never be allowed in this country unless people have a terminal illness.

[@shennel7304]

@@jujutrini8412 what about chronic pain patients that are never going to get better?? Who are they wanting to live for, it's not fair that people have to wake up every day in agony

[@gc3847]

@@shennel7304 Your right ,its NOT fair on people that need the service these companies offer ,and Swiss law does allow this type of Assisted suicide . However .....every case is individual Im all for assisted suicide ,personally I hope its a choice I never have to make ,but there ARE concerns in this mans case . Quite honestly ,we are not given enough information here ,and the information given from the family, through no fault of their own ,is one sided. Perhaps he hid his true mental health issues from them. That wouldnt be uncommon . I dont believe either ,he was just feeling low. But I do believe ,that someone with severe mental health issues ,can reach a point where they CANT make a rational choice for themselves. We dont know if this poor man fell into that category. Im tempted to say I hope so ,but only to make this ....sadness ,better for him . Terminal illness and chronic pain are NOT the issues this guy faced . He may or may not have been seriously mentally ill. The sheer torment of someone who wants to end their life ,though nothing terminal or in pain is wrong with them .Thats actually the question here ,but by reading the comments ,you really wouldnt think so

[@Harry-fk5of]

@@shennel7304 I think chronic debilitating pain should be included if there's literally no hope or way to cure it

[@fionabattrum7395]

Agree . It’s other peoples deep seated fear of facing up to the fact sometimes suffering in life is not endurable for some people .. usually intractable progressive illness and or mental health conditions . Physically disabled people who are otherwise fit and well often don’t get this ! it seems as they are not living with long term progressive medical conditions they think they are being attacked if euthanasia is legal. So they try to stop those who are suffering beyond what they can endure from having control and an exit plan . Just my personal opinion not formed lightly.

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

He was terminally ill, his mum literally admitted if it wasn’t for this he would have thrown himself infront of train ffs. She seems in extremely denial about how sick he was. It sounds like he’s been really unwell for a long time and wanted to end his life for a long time. She had her time to try and help, there aren’t endless options

[@elaineread15]

The mother cannot respect her son's wishes. She says he was not of a sound mind to do such a thing, which says it all.

[@natnat8393]

This is why I think he didn't tell them about his plans

[@elaineread15]

@@natnat8393 Yes, it really is a tragedy. But you can see his mother could never agree to it and would have tried to get him sectioned.

[@christee9590]

Yes because he was clearly mentally ill. We try to get mentally ill people help to recover, we don't write them off, give up on them. We try to get them help, we don't usually help them travel to a DEATH CLINIC and give them our blessings - not normal behaviour. Anyone normal, any mother or father, would try to stop a child of theirs going to a death 'suicide' clinic.

[@elaineread15]

@christee9590 You clearly don't know anything about how people are treated who enter the mental health system. To be sectioned is worse than a prison sentence and this mother would rather have seen that. They are not places where "recovery" has any possibility. Even after everything, she is still putting her needs first. Instead of being happy that he is at peace.

[@atis9061]

@@christee9590you’re lucky you don’t see the truth about the mental health epidemic

[@portcontainer9727]

Sweet loving mother. She misses her son. It's very sad. Bless the whole family. I respect the son's choice as well. All loving relationships end in tears. Love to everyone!

[@tiggyt2261]

The main problem I see with this is that he just went missing and left his family guessing if he’d been in an accident or foul play had taken place. And perhaps that people have made money from this.

[@tiggyt2261]

Ah just heard that they’re not for profit.

[@lulunz6809]

What he did was cruel to his family and friends. The worry it would have caused would have been hideous. People seem to be romanticizing what happened in this case.

[@amanda2825]

Why would he not be able to do this without his mother knowing he was 47

[@victoriaprior5406]

Unless you have walked in his shoes try and understand his bravery. Great respect for this young man his living nightmare is over ❤

[@mariannehavisham8323]

Let's not romanticise suicide. People shouldn't be judged for ending their suffering but they shouldn't be praised either -can we use more neutral less loaded language?

[@ssuwandi3240]

None of this was about bravery. It was rather a crying for help that nobody cared harder just don't tell it to mum. I always write this kind of thought since 7 yo or so and leave the note somewhere. My mum found one of these, said nothing but since that day she' becomes kinder. She knew my little secrets. When I was older I left the notes inside the temple or churches. Well am still here living thru the rhythm. It would have been good if he knew some techniques to try

[@thegracetofollow4194]

Bravery? No darlin coward is the word quiting and giving up notan enough unfortunately

[@Litigator-4-life]

❤❤❤

[@TrumptonMayor]

​@@mariannehavisham8323Well put.

[@tokemeout]

I have a 2 year old son whom I haven’t seen in 7months his mother is punishing me for breaking up with her, I don’t want to live with out him in my life…I am not getting any help from the court system. I am planning on moving to Canada since they have medically assisted suicide , I may just have to take a trip to Switzerland. I’m tired of the pain.

[@TammySoulJourney]

Stop judging him

[@TammySoulJourney]

He's a grown man He made his decision Mom You have to accept it