God Help Me, I Ranked The Concord Characters

[@johnoneil9188]

"Concord failed because it was is a counter punch to a jab that has was thrown eight years ago." That was a damn good line actually.

[@pandagamer-hg5be]

You can tell he's gotten into boxing

[@lifeiscrap103]

​@@pandagamer-hg5beThanks, Woolie!

[@sloshed-rat]

Concord was a shower argument where the person debating against themselves lost

[@Ehh.....]

@@sloshed-rat They'll get that dirty bastard back next time.

[@thechaoslp2047]

​@@pandagamer-hg5bemartial arts was a major part of his whole life

[@chrisdaughen5257]

I think I understand why I hate the writing. It’s like those events in elementary school where they bring in 30 year-olds to dance and sing about how not smoking is good for you. The vibe is so flat and happy, it doesn’t feel genuine. But that was at least for 8-year-olds. It feels wrong chasing that vibe for an older audience. They won’t buy into it.

[@ElvenSonic]

Yeah it’s very vacation bible school.

[@Hieronymous_Flex]

"How do you do fellow kids" ass writing.

[@Nereosis16]

Corporate cool

[@0uttaS1TE]

Youth pastor writing. I half expect Lennox to turn to the camera and say "You know who else advocated for freedom under the stars? That's right, the big J man."

[@gwynmoth3940]

@@0uttaS1TE That's what I called Borderlands 3 writing, except its way more likable.

[@thewordywarlock7159]

That first guy looks like if a generic raider from Fallout had access to soap, water, and clean clothes.

[@pandagamer-hg5be]

And was also boring

[@daevious_]

@@pandagamer-hg5be The radiation poisoning builds character.

[@HostileHostelry]

YOU ARE TOO CORRECT.

[@goldengolem4670]

Fellow HTP enjoyer i see

[@patsagonsaechin3006]

He looks like Ceaser's Legion reject tbh.

[@roryschussler]

"I'd like to find at least one character we can get behind" John, focus on more realistic dreams, like going back in time and beating Kathy.

[@ventrueinconnu3527]

I thought you said "realistic"? Now if you'd said "get topped by another strong female character", then yeah. 100% achievable.

[@Noodlesaurousrex]

@@ventrueinconnu3527 hard agree but also weird to say to a stranger

[@ventrueinconnu3527]

@@Noodlesaurousrex ya know, you're not wrong.

[@amiralirashedi8614]

"How does every character get so much worse when you see their pants" Should be one of those endorsement quotes on the back of the box

[@Pedun42]

The fact that EVERY character quips in the same way is so incredibly grating

[@yurifairy2969]

Guardians of the Galaxy, the thing this is ripping off, knew that there needed to be a straight man character that doesn't crack jokes (Gamora). And even the jokey characters had variety, Star-Lord is quippy, Rocket is crude and more mean-spirited, Drax and Mantis don't crack jokes and their comedy is derived from awkwardness, etc. They couldn't even be bothered to rip that off so everyone is Star-Lord.

[@screemingnott]

This is why I think Borderlands also fell from grace. Borderlands 2 was mind numbingly packed with high energy jokes, but at least every character was their own brand of crazy which made the experience still fun the same way eating a bowl of junk food is nice every now and then. Borderlands 3 onwards... every character just started sounding the same like we have here in Concord.

[@elive1367]

That’s the marvelization of media for ya

[@gidofter_lukge]

@@yurifairy2969 and groot just says one line over and over, the comedy coming from how everyone else reacts to Groot

[@Jaded_Jinx]

Yeah, it really felt like these were all the same person but with different skin suits and vocal chords Awful character designs aside, there are at least 2 or 3 characters i saw in this roster that could have benefited from being a stoic, silent type, serious archetype. Cliche and generic? Yes. Would that have made them stand out from the rest lf the cast even a little? Absolutely

[@biomonkey01]

It's pretty damning that, with a few exceptions, you could swap the characters intro voice lines around and couldn't tell the difference. Star Lord quips don't work when half the character roster is making them.

[@juanjuri6127]

i think chonky robot deserves a tiny bit of appreciation because i get the impression its "deal" was that it's a repurposed cleaning appliance, thus its vacuum-themed powers and "clean house" quips. it's almost a character! it still got a nice thick layer of corporate slop design on top, like everyone else, but that one was the closest the design team ever got to cooking, imo

[@apersonontheinternet9085]

The character is essentially supposed to be “space roomba that kills you” and I’m am infuriated that it sucks this bad.

[@t.dmattocks6119]

Kinda reminds me of the robot party member from Outer Worlds.

[@screamingcactus1753]

The vacuum idea is great, as ONE ABILITY. His whole kit shouldn't have been vacuum themed, he should have had the one ability that sucks up projectiles and then his other abilities should have been themed around different cleaning appliances and products. He also should have thought he was actually cleaning instead of clearly being in on the "joke".

[@harrietr.5073]

He/him. The robot is he/him.

[@Rycluse]

The sniper lady's "there's no hiding from me" line is so emblematic of the "sandblast the personality off" style of writing when you compare it to Widowmaker's denotatively identical "no one can hide from my sight"

[@vxicepickxv]

I want to see a straight up yandere sniper. Like creepy stalker "I see you" vibe.

[@Tzilandi]

@@vxicepickxv Now I want a Sniper montage set to "Every Breath You Take" by The Police.

[@wea69420]

​@@vxicepickxv vindicta from deadlock has some lines like that. It doesn't seem to be her entire character but she plays it up when you're aiming with her ult.

[@RJS2003]

​@@vxicepickxv Make her rifle her Senpai. That would be funny.

[@moacirpatricio5718]

​​@@vxicepickxv...y'know? I could actually see something like this! Like, an sniper that has kept tabs on a target for not just months, but years ending up falling in love with them, but in a twisted yandere way due to the sniper's way of showing love is killing everyone who comes near their crush to protect him

[@MiaCulpa24]

It-Z is one of the most painful, because the markings of a GREAT character design are there Her colouring works, purple hair is hard to pull off but it contrasts great against the green skin. Her more "animal-like" features imply shes a very jumpy movement based character. Like its very easy to get what the character is... BUT THEN THERES JUST NO SAUCE This sauceless game just drags the work of a good character, and goes "No, you WILL be budget Tracer"

[@Doomroar]

So what you are saying is that it is zip zap you done-so for It-z

[@biomonkey01]

It is painful how bad it is. So many people put so much effort into something that feels so hollow.

[@NavyPheonix]

She has a single drop of sauce. I like how she does the Sonic Adventure Split Kick pose on the frame she teleports.

[@makito106]

I feel the realistic art holds back a lot of the designs.

[@lunasperidot8760]

I got more budget neeko

[@kellerharris2593]

Concord is some of the most, like, "art by committee" character design I can think of. All of this looks and sounds like it was sanded down to be as easy to consume, mass-market appeal as possible, and whatever character it could have had got carved out in the process

[@chero666]

Every design from the game looks like it was made in a room full of people who unironically use "spirit fingers" instead of clapping.

[@chero666]

Teo looks like he's playing Paintball, not going into battle.

[@ElvenSonic]

idk, he’s got those “i’m a sci-fi soldier man” plastic football shoulder pads and armor. Are we sure he didn’t just leave his helmet in the locker room?

[@ARStudios2000]

None of the characters look like professional killers. You know, what a mercenary is?

[@Ryan2K900]

I thought his pants were padded shorts on top of some slacks or something 😂

[@rigelseybert9406]

It feels weird to hear you talk about following Concord because me and a bunch of people in my friend group just straight up didn’t know this game existed until the announcement that it was shutting down.

[@makito106]

Honestly I didn't know thing about this game until I saw people making fun of the Steam player count. If this game was an actual ps5 exclusive I bet it would have disappeared without fan fare

[@chero666]

Concord was a game I hear about and then immediate forget about as soon as it's off my screen.

[@rigelseybert9406]

@@makito106tbf it also didn’t help that on top of just all the issues demonstrated by the video, there was also like… zero marketing at all.

[@dorcat2867]

Same, I only discovered it for the first time when Moist Critikal talked about it, and I kept up with the updates about the game through Charlie’s videos

[@bradymclaughlin6376]

2:30 this man is wearing khaki pants, a pool boy T-shirt, American football pads, and a gaming headset. Where is he going?

[@michaellaporte4951]

The unemployment line.

[@BroudbrunMusicMerge]

He just came back from laser tag

[@notthed6534]

Back to his suburban home to his wife who despises his shitty larping.

[@KTCoope]

The thing that drives me mad with this is they went so hard on boring photorealism and a bunch of greebling on the outfits when it’s a super chaotic, visually busy kind of a game and for that you want your characters to read really really well. Like the simpler visuals in stuff like Overwatch and TF2 aren’t just because of a lack of processing power, those simpler designs work in the games’ favour. There’s concepts in these characters that could be great if they had just any actual art direction instead of generic realism, it is infuriating.

[@jjj7790]

It’s actually kind of infuriating to look at the different pieces of the character’s outfit and see parts where you couldn’t have made more boring design decisions if you tried. Like the robot lady is clearly supposed to be some kind of 80s-style lady business executive/tf2 spy, pantsuit and all, but then they made her entire suit this dirt brown beige that blends with the ground. Bazz has probably the most visually distinctive look which just drops off harshly when you look at her shirt and lower half. Also the majority of the roster is either beige or this nothing off-toothpaste color.

[@masterplusmargarita]

@@KTCoope To its credit, I can imagine it still being readable in gameplay because at the very least the silhouettes (which are what matter most for gameplay purposes - Valve devs have even talked about this with TF2) ARE different and readable. If anything, I think a couple of the designs might have been compromised by having to have a unique silhouette - I don't know how to explain the massive shoulderpads on knife lady otherwise, since they don't fit her design at all otherwise, and Silent Bill feels like he might have been meant to be more wildly clashing with those big weird jutty plastic bits, but had to be refitted into a more human silhouette.

[@adamruiz3683]

The first character in the line-up being John Concord really drives home how bland the whole cast is.

[@chrisdaughen5257]

I hate that guy’s design so much. He looks like he’s a comedic character that scavenged his gear from a sports store, but he acts like a professional soldier. They probably made it look so bad to force players to buy more appropriate-looking skins

[@pyd2215]

It really highlights how good Soldier 76 is as a generic white soldier man design

[@Champiness]

@@chrisdaughen5257Then you look at the primo sink-hours-into-this-game skin and it’s just a different stupid fucking antenna helmet

[@Samm815]

@@pyd2215 It's the Cyclops Viser and the white hair, man.

[@nathanielbradley9819]

​@@Samm815and the fact that he's gay, sorry but that's probably the only depth his character has

[@odolowa1]

Why is every second character able to deploy a dome that looks like every other character's dome?

[@Chaoktarukto]

gameplay way to explain AOE limits

[@NavyPheonix]

25:48 Deadlock isn't even out of Alpha yet and every character has multiple callouts that are uniquely written, and also have 2-3 variants of the same line. Pinging an enemy makes your character point them out by name, and some characters give them nicknames or refer to them as "That *blank* guy". My favorites are Shiv referring to Seven as "Gigawatt", Vindicta calling Mo and Krill "The Mole Man" and McGinnis repeatedly accidentally calling Kelvin 'Kevin' in multiple different lines. A shooter with no story mode needs to take every opportunity it has to characterize. It's not going to happen anywhere else if it's not during gameplay.

[@UomoPolpetta]

I hate how every character has an attack that just throws a ball at the enemy. The balls have different effects but there's no visual or thematic flair to them, they're balls. Also the only character that doesn't use a firearm is the knife lady, which sucks because a lot of the designs feel like they weren't meant to use guns (like the mystical grandma character whose name I forgot).

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Wrist rockets, too. A lot of wrist rockets.

[@lanibentz9976]

As I was watching Daws thing, hoping that he was good enough to at least break into B tier, I instead got distracted thinking that his name kinda sounded like “da” and then formulated a concept for an eccentric space farmer who all the other characters just view as a dad, giving him his name. The game made a character so nothing, that my brain had to formulate a better one as a self defense mechanism. That’s impressive

[@TravenTalks]

What drives me nuts about the characters for Concord is that the concept art for them (or at least, what little has been released) has so much genuine charm and intrigue, especially with the moebius inspired aesthetic, and somehow NONE of it got translated into the final designs

[@genericcatgirl]

I wonder if they tried to go for a more defined aesthetic but corporate pressured them to go realistic?

[@bryanburgess3950]

Concord has intense "yeah, I guess that's good enough" energy

[@ObscuraDeCapra]

"You can't have the faces be human faces on alien bodies!" STAR TREK IN SHAMBLES

[@CanterlotCrusader]

Star Trek at least had an excuse since it was an old show and nobody expected it to be nearly as big as it became. Concord had plenty of time and money, and still couldn't make an appealing character design.

[@ObscuraDeCapra]

@@CanterlotCrusader No, they couldn't make an appealing character from these designs. Get the right writer and this collection of frickin' weirdos is way more interesting.

[@jonathanwatson4484]

@@ObscuraDeCapra it not even difficult, the lizard guy? give him a raptor heard and cowboy ascent maybe a robot eye and a trench coat with a unique hat and some tribal shaman like charms, and we have a intresting character design, it feel like the developers try the bare minimum.

[@sqentontheslime1967]

Honestly I think it can still be done well like in the Orville series, though it may vary between designs.

[@The7thDraconian]

Star Trek's aliens mostly have human looking bodies (because of the constraints of live action and budget) so they don't have the same uncanny feeling these characters have.

[@msf2399]

I do like the vacuum robot. And looking through the comments, everyone else seems to like the vacuum robot. It’s just that his particular lines sound worse when everyone else quips similarly to the *one* joke he made. He does *sound* sincere, the pun works, and the design is one of the best. Props to the team behind that specific character for doing the absolute best they could.

[@calvinware7957]

The biggest thing concord did wrong was come out ten years too late and be way too average

[@TestAcct46]

Also charge $40 when there's already plenty of free hero shooters

[@calvinware7957]

@@TestAcct46 tens year ago that wouldn't have been a problem I don't think

[@brianbonn5733]

The fact that the robots' pronouns aren't he/him in binary code is so funny to me. Like, there are people who will be very annoyed by pronouns being visible at all. Why not have a bit of fun with it? It would bring the slightest bit of levity to something so benign.

[@SeekSeekLest]

A robot with their pronouns in binary and another with they/then would be a great pun. 'Cause they'd be non-binary (ba dum tish)

[@yurifairy2969]

im just wondering why the robot's pronouns aren't it/its

[@SeekSeekLest]

@yurifairy2969 In English at least, referring to someone as an 'it' tends to be dehumanizing. So it'd probably be pretty rare to use it/it's.

[@roryschussler]

​@@yurifairy2969 There's nothing unusual about that. C-3PO and Data were made in the 70s and 80s, and both of them are always referred to as "he".

[@unitymask]

Ah, but you see, fun isn't "marketable" so the execs can't have that!

[@Pandatege]

my main thing is that i wish they just went FULL TILT into the clear 1970s sci-fi inspirations they were using here in terms of design and also just actually gave the characters for their character shooter *some actual character*

[@Dovoline3]

Honestly some of those gameplay kits actually seem pretty interesting to mess around with, but they are NOT helped by the demo trailers having like ZERO actual action. Feels like they were recorded in bot matches, when they really should have been recorded during internal playtesting.

[@casanovafunkenstein5090]

The scripted camera movement makes it look like the game is being played in slow motion. There's no energy to it at all.

[@filipemartinho1753]

Yea, im surprised he didnt talk about it. The trailer gameplay is like... so sauceless. Even for the interesting gameplay it's exhausting in seconds

[@Khadharphak]

The lack of attention to detail really shows in the cinematic trailer when Haymar gets shot in the leg and yet it doesn't affect her for the rest of the cinematic, and she still has the hotsauce bottle at the end when _Lennox shot and destroyed it in the fight_

[@centuronstar8688]

You know when I think of character who is named "Star Child", I think of like maybe some being or character uses light, sun/star, or cosmic powers and abilities. Like the Silver Surfer, or Captain Marvel or Singularity...... I definitely did not expect so big strong blue furry alien dude with a shotgun and power charge/slam to be named Star Child.

[@Xick]

MAYBE in the 90s.

[@KeDe1606]

Both him and the uncanny Chris Pratt alien dude/possible molester scream „we want Guardians of the Galaxy at home“

[@casanovafunkenstein5090]

Yeah, they should have either given them a different name or leaned much further into the mismatch between the name and the character traits

[@JCdental]

He is big He has a silvery/diamondy back Not called silverback/diamondback

[@nikenit]

He is a ripoff from Guardians of the Galaxy. Half of Concord was a ripoff of some other game or property.

[@adamc4077]

I'm dumbfounded at half the characters outfits being literally beige. Like is there a single overwatch character that isn't popping off the screen with color and personality? Who decided brown/beige was the color for concord??

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Beige, off-white, green, and khaki, dusted with some sprinkles of bright primaries, with two or three instances of the puke core designs sneezing their sprinkles onto one person. They used the puke core colors as core and highlight colors. The couple of primary sneeze designs are... fine, I like a good clownsuit, even if some care needs to be given to exactly what bright colors are smashed together, but too many of them are just in those puke core tones

[@JDMC13]

John's got that Dead Eyed Concord Stare in this video watching the character trailers.

[@Doomroar]

Crazy that the woman covered in trash with a bucket for a helmet managed to sneak herself into "Ok i guess"

[@pearperapare]

We want the trash, we want the slop.

[@Stad122]

CBRN/Hazmat suits can make pretty good costumes, so long as you're not scared to death of the player not being able to stare at your characters ugly mug in a select screen.

[@OverHaze]

There is something about Concords colour choices that makes me feel kind of ill. That's not an exaggeration it actually makes my stomach turn a bit. Perhaps its triggering the "this creature is poisonous do not eat" response?

[@ArkThePieKing]

It's because everything is baby shit green and dried doo doo brown. Just the absolute worst colors the 70s had to offer.

[@drunkenhobo8020]

​​@@ArkThePieKingDang you've just nailed it, I've been trying to think what Emarin reminds me of - a 1970s avocado green bathroom suite. It's hideous.

[@add8402]

Quick reminder that the reason all the characters just look like people in makeup is because they spent most of their budget on absurdly high-fidelity performance capture technology to make those weekly cut-scenes. Performance and motion capture is extremely hard to do on characters that don't have realistic human proportions, and you can't match their facial animations without the character having a (mostly) human face, so now every character has to just look like a person doing cosplay.

[@Airahn]

Haymar is so obviously a solar Warlock from Destiny it's insane how shamelessly they designed her.

[@0uttaS1TE]

To be fair, the game was made by ex-Bungie staff. To be unfair, tho, there is a good portion of these characters that are just Destiny kits cut and pasted onto the least charismatic designs this side of the Galaxy. Lennox and Vale were the ones that immediately sprung to mind

[@DwWarWolf]

Idk why but everyone having Hunter dashes just irrationally pisses me off.

[@Airahn]

@@DwWarWolf as a Titan main playing on controller I feel this very heavily

[@JucheJohn]

I think people underestimate how much concord shot itself in the foot by going for a 60s/70s Sci-fi aesthetic. Like, that's a very divisive art direction on the best of days and the Concord devs seemingly didn't wanna fully commit to it which lands the game in this odd limbo where it isn't pleasing fans of the aesthetic, and it certainly isn't pleasing anyone who isn't already on-board with that "weird" art direction

[@RomnysGonzalez]

Too old for kids who play online games nowadays. Then is a fully online game that people who likes those aesthetic don't ever play multiplayer competitive games

[@fitandhappy42]

I’m wondering if there was something in the overarching character design document about cosplay. They wanted as many of these as possible to be easy to turn into costumes so none of them can be too alien

[@fitandhappy42]

The whole thing is thick with “suggestions from upper management”. Can’t lean into the 50’s sci-fi because kids won’t get it. Make it cosplayable. Relatable dialog! Remember Guardians of The Galaxy? I too would like to see the initial designs before the committee got to it.

[@0uttaS1TE]

I sort of get it, but if you've been to any convention in the past few years, it feels like a poor excuse. If people like a character, they will cosplay it, no matter how hard the designs are to recreate. Like, look at Genshin, or Halo or Overwatch. Those designs are infamously difficult, but people still do em

[@cartoonishidealism582]

To me it feel like they were actively trying to emulate like... low budget retro sci fi shows like Doctor Who or Star Trek That's why all the aliens look like people in make up, like they did in the old Star Trek show. That's why a bunch of stuff about the outfits look like they're made of recycled materials lying around. Like the hazmat person has PVC pipes on their chest plate, John Concord looks entirely like his outfit is made of random plastic costume pieces, the mushroom alien looks like it's got a colander on its head, the robot looks like a giant plastic barrel that's been spray painted yellow, etc. Like, look up the original Cybermen from Doctor Who. I feel like that sort of low budget costume vibe is what Concord's costume design was going for.

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

The Final Gamer meets The Final Game. The ultimate art has finally met its ultimate practitioner. Before the game industry was, Concord waited for it.

[@crediblesalamander8056]

your words will leave an interminable echo in the souls of those who've borne witness to their ethereal majesty. your poetry has transcended transcendence and become whole with that great big unconscious whole we call our collective humanity.

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

@@crediblesalamander8056 I just copy-pasted that one quote from Blood Meridian for this but thanks I guess lol

[@crediblesalamander8056]

​@@halfmettlealchemist8076 it is only through the most exquisitely refined of primal foundations that the most radiant art can be formed. you took that masterpiece of a blood meridian quote and transformed it into a slavepiece, for now we are all slaves to its overwhelmingly divine magnificence.

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

@@crediblesalamander8056 How do I get a KZbin reply framed on my wall, this is incredible, thank you so much

[@tylerkarnes2947]

It is so wild to me that you can SEE the straight destiny animation rips like the dodge rolls and knife/grenade throws.

[@earthbound9999]

Not defending the game at all, but asset reuse happens way more often than you think, and it's really not a big deal. No need to completely reinvent the wheel every single time you make a game.

[@joshuaowens2418]

Sniper girl, green man and spybot are just three flavors of Hunter. Firegirl was Dawnblade Warlock. Titan didn't really have anything that blatant but we can say starboy and green lady

[@MagicalTalkingPony]

"You cannot put any kind of goth girl lower than a C tier." Even the Emoji Movie one?

[@bangormc3rd562]

These characters look like they are cosplaying as Guardians of the Galaxy OCs with a $20 outfit budget.

[@BoldMold]

Actually, I think I like the concept of the Ranger. We need a hero shooter where all the characters are extremely cool and well designed, and then there's this one guy who's just a white guy with short brown hair wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans holding a gun. And his name is just "John". And his voice lines are stuff like "Hello!", "Good job! :)", and "Let's go, team!".

[@BoldMold]

... he likes stale bread, water with no ice, and dirt. His moves are "shoot", "punch", "grenade", and "shoot harder". His gimmick is getting s on his dodge roll.

[@Tzilandi]

@@BoldMold God damn, you're selling me on this guy now! XD Just, the most generic man possible. I love it!

[@calumcameron6355]

My scalding-hot take is that It-Z is actually the one genuinely well-designed character in this. She's not a LIKABLE character, sure, but she's the only one that both has an identifiable personality and consistently conveys it in their design. All of the other characters have the most generic voice-lines imaginable, but every one of It-Z's lines could only have come from It-Z. Nobody else is gonna say "thankyouthankyouthankyou!" or "zip-zap ya done-zo!" Real life has - or at least HAD, sometime circa-2006 - plenty of real people who spoke like It-Z, moved like It-Z, and would have paid to look like It-Z if they could. People who were so into l33t-speak, and who made so many "lol cutesy random uwu rawr" jokes about how itsy-bitsy they were (they were actually pretty normal height for their age, but they sometimes wore very oversized hoodies to make themselves look smaller) that if they'd been old enough to legally change their name they probably WOULD have named themselves "It-Z". None of these other characters feel like they could exist as real people in any setting, but, admit it: you KNOW who It-Z is. You've MET an It-Z. You've been worried about an It-Z getting into hard drugs. You've felt deeply sorry for an It-Z's parents at some point in your life. It-Z knows that 'rawr' means 'I love you' in dinosaur. It-Z made you a cookie but she eated it. It-Z dresses as Harley Quinn every Halloween, unless she's going as someone you don't recognise from a popular cartoon series aimed a little younger than her. Her favourite passtime is annoying the heck out of her older brother and his friends when they're just trying to hang out. She secretly writes poetry in her diary, and every single poem is about how she's Not Like Other Girls. It-Z has strong opinions on Erika Ishii, but it's 50-50 whether those strong opinions are borderline-horny infatuation or seething jealous hatred. She sucks to hang out with, she's infuriating to speak to and she's exhausting to even just be in the same room as, but she's undeniably a real kind of person that exists. Gender-undecided mushroom should come second because they ALMOST feel real and authentic, and just don't quite go hard enough with it to be memorable. Robot guy comes third because there was clearly at least one human being with actual ideas in the room when they designed him, but unfortunately his little glimmers of authenticity get drowned out by the committee-driven corporate sludge that was poured on top. But It-Z? Awful, cringe-inducing It-Z? She's so authentically believable it HURTS.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Agree. In a better game, It-Z might be a little polished around the edges, but would still be this creature, and most of the rest of the cast would range from hating her to tolerating her. By picking It-Z, you step into the role of everyone hating you, you don a proper mask and play the role. It would be a goal, to pick the creature, and seek reports.

[@leaguesmanoframsgate]

Someone pointed out to me once that Concord characters look like low-grade closet cosplays of themselves and I can't unsee it.

[@williamheinbuch]

Back in 2010? I wanna say, I worked at a little studio called BlackBox in Vancouver, BC - it was a studio that went through MULTIPLE restructuring at the hands of a certain triple A developer/publisher ( I was QA, so no one important). During my time at BlackBox we were priveledged enough to attend some meetings where they showcased unreleased titles that did not have ANY media, like ALL game concepts and super alpha stage footage. People got to ask questions and figure out what type of games these even were before the studio devoted a SHIT ton of resources on before giving the green light. All this to say... I'm sure whoever made this game at some point had someone... maybe a programmer, maybe an artist, HELL, maybe even a QA ask... "So this is Overwatch but... shittier and HYPER realistic or some kind of off brand Guardians of the galaxy at home/destiny" and the studio head's answer was "yes", to a resounding sound of studio crickets where no one wanted lose their jobs. it's like you said, no gave a shit, all anyone saw with this was a payday, they all thought "hey, let's do a character shooter, those are popular right?". it's like how for an entire year straight in like 2017 or something all any indie dev ever made was fucking card battlers and deck builders.

[@MalevolentFae]

Ya'll should watch Kinkymation's take on these character designs. A character designer's/artist's point of view on what a bland nothing this roster is.

[@jjj7790]

42:00 Personally, I would’ve put It-Z at “Concord???” Tier because I hit the point where I would rather be stabbed with cringe than feel nothing. At least you might remember It-Z for about 2 minutes after watching her trailer.

[@heretustay]

and playing her was genuinely kind of fun. her mobility build was far and away above what the others had going on

[@FoboS_IX]

Teo looks like his girlfriend tells him not to worry about Oscar Mike from Battleborn.

[@BasicAttackGames]

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time

[@angrymushroom26]

The second video about video games that don't exist.

[@MagickGOATee]

The fact I see more videos about fixing the concord character designs than I ever did see talk about the game and base designs speaks volumes about the sheer disinterest people had

[@JesseBakerH]

1:02:06 There's no way. I've seen SO. MUCH. TF2. YAOI. HeavyXMedic, Sniper, Spy, Scout, literally all of them shirtless, ripped, hairy, BRUH how has someone not seen this. Back in like 2009 that was one of my first times seeing gay ships 😭

[@msf2399]

Yeah, the TF2 discovery process goes “Meet the Team” -> (Nowadays Lazy Purple, I guess) -> “TF2 thirst and/or ship art” -> “The actual game.”

[@DIEGOLOKO82]

they look like characters that would appear in a fake videogame in a tv ad for an insurance company

[@petesematary]

46:39 Garnet cosplaying Eggman is nasty work

[@Alucard-A-La-Carte]

I remember the MMO rush, the 'gray and brown shooter' rush, the MOBA rush, the "hero shooter" rush, and OH the battle royale rush...but I have NEVER seen something that chews devs up and spits them out like this "live service" rush. Avengers, Suicide Squad, and now this: a Guardians knock-off that couldn't sustain contact with consumers.

[@sauceinmyface9302]

Heck I remember the doom rush

[@michaelking7847]

the thing about Concords character designs to me is that while a lot of them are conceptually interesting or have interesting elements to them there's no apparent feeling they're meant to invoke in the viewer. no one is particularly cool or badass or sexy or cute or silly (these elements being what i personally look for in a design). some get close, but its all so watered down that they never quite get there. so you end up with a bunch of characters that dont quite make you feel anything while looking at them dialog wise its all confident vaguely affirmative barking. they all feel like their trying to sell you something. Starchild is the only character with any defining personality because hes the only one who doesn't seem like hes desperate to be liked by a potential player

[@crazyMLC]

I completely ignored concord on steam because its logo looked like some office suite program...

[@BroudbrunMusicMerge]

John Concord feels like they wanted to go for a "random guy playing laser tag" feel -- which is a fun concept if you lean into it -- and then "polished" it to the point where all traces of the character were gone

[@eguy8387]

Good video! Think the point about characters looking like a man in makeup made so much sense. Like alien, who is a lizard man, has completely normal human face and eyes. What a waste lol

[@pyd2215]

With none of the art flair that makes Hunters just so cool to watch

[@NavyPheonix]

When you design a bunch of alien races, but you still want to be able to cut corners in the animation by making sure their faces are still motion-capturable.

[@chero666]

Now to see John's specific fetishes.

[@madeofmandrake1748]

The game is a friend group of construction workers bringing their +1's to a paintball league. Just going off of character design

[@100racs]

I think the best way to put it about the effort that went into Concord is that there was a whole lot of ARTISTRY being put into something that expresses and inspires nothing, that doesn't amount to being ART.

[@pattybatters2816]

concord is supposed to look like the 50s sci fi aesthetic? I didn't realize that

[@ElvenSonic]

Yeah it’s going for flash gordon pulp sci fi but what if it was a modern marvel movie. However it’s leaning too hard to the “modernized” side and could’ve found a voice if it fully stuck to the flash gordon stuff.

[@evilhomer250]

I keep hearing different dates, so that's not a good sign. I originally heard it was 80s scifi, then I heard it was 70s scifi

[@Samm815]

@@evilhomer250 Same.

[@0uttaS1TE]

​​@evilhomer250 70s was the one that I heard. In any case, it's not a bad idea on the face of it. Fallout is 50's atompunk, especially when you look at the robot designs and the weapons from 4 onwards. Then you have No Man's Sky with its 60s pulp sci-fi styling. It could work, but adhering to that period of sci-fi requires charisma on the creative staff's part. Unfortunately this just doesn't have it, presumably from the money men

[@TheGrades90]

Zip zap, ya donzo.

[@Decrystallizing]

John rating It-Z in F tier to overcompensate for how excited he was when he realized she was a furry >>

[@dand1253]

45:37 - Duchess earned points with me for looking like a Syndicate noble from _Age of Wonders: Planetfall,_ which is a profoundly me take. Her toting some kind of heavy-duty M3 grease gun also helps, since it feels weirdly apropos for a Flash Gordon sci-fantasy aesthetic.

[@dand1253]

57:23 - Okay, the robot giving his grenade a little wave goodbye was gold.

[@Stad122]

I don't get why they gave the rich, affluent character a Sten gun. That is literally the gun known for being put together with a shoestring and paperclip because it was designed to be as cheap as possible.

[@dand1253]

@@Stad122 In a better game, they could use that to make some kind of commentary - the obvious option being that she's down on her luck, assuming she was ever an actual aristocrat to begin with. Here, though, who knows?

[@azulesmalls5514]

I do not know why I love your voice so much. The cadence of it just hits different. Activating something in my brain. I really need to watch you more. And I love your video essays.

[@prof_parahelix2390]

Zip zap Concord's done-zo

[@mikaelm5367]

This is the most noodly-looking underwater-feeling shooter I have ever seen.

[@ShalathePrinny]

1-Off feels like if he was in a robots only hero shooter he'd be the little brother/Bumblebee of the cast

[@dylangreen192]

The first character feels like the designers had to begrudgingly design a white guy to put into the game

[@randem_6503]

I never really saw any of the gameplay before but in these trailers it just looks so dull. Man with gun, lady with crossbow, man with shotgun, man with gun, maybe they have a shield or a smoke bomb. The way John was so surprised by the most basic recall/teleport ability for the mushroom guy is telling to how uninteresting they all are

[@PunkExMachina]

So many of these characters are fine design wise for *NPCs* like that Teo dude is just like, generic soldier that will give u like a health item or something. It’s incredible these were supposed to be playable characters that are supposed to have any sort of appeal.

[@Schweigetherapie]

No, I disagree on the robot. His weapon is like this vaccuum, right, so him saying "I am going to clean house" is a nice little fun quip, makes him sounds light-hearted. I like this character, I'd like him in a game. Maybe different gameplay, but the design and even the voicelines are solid enough. I also kinda liked the idea of Duchess, but you could execute the concept to much better. Most characters here suffer from this.

[@NavyPheonix]

Unfortunately "Sadistically Happy Robot" is a character trait they straight up lifted from Pathfinder (Apex Legends). Similarly, at 11:40 John mentioned he'd like to see a "Giant Maui Space Marine" which is basically just Gibraltar (also from Apex Legends). Even their best design in the Robot just has a ton of ideas lifted from other, more fleshed out characters. At least his Ratchet and Clank Vacuum Gun is cool.

[@Zakuzan8]

Bit late to the party as far as comments, but something small I noticed that really hit me hard is the trailer for the Sniper. Like they don't even seem to understand how to advertise a 'power fantasy'. (Using league terms cause it's what I'm familiar) What is going to attract someone to the sniper archatype? Long angels, this patient killer, the thrill of hitting a difficult headshot. And she's just jumping around hitting body shots on people. People don't play snipers to bodyshot people. It's far from the biggest problem with a lot of this game but just such a small detail that shows just a massive lack of understanding from the directors of this game

[@SaiyanHeretic]

It-Z is the kind of person who unironically says "Bazinga!"

[@Magnet977]

Hey, don't slander Bazinga's name with Concord!

[@Sir_Phobos]

I saw this several days ago and came back. I will give Silent Bill credit, he was so boring he inverted and I hadn't forgotten him. I did forget all about 'Box You In Grandma' though.

[@broisyougobbling]

Concord looks like a fake game that a character would be playing in a TV show

[@wholockedholmes5600]

Bazz and Kyps were the only characters who looked salvageable to me. Bazz's design doesn't need too many tweaks to look like a decent side character in any other game. Change the glasses and take out the 3 different clashing shades of purple from her color palette, and you have what looks like a fun melee character. Kyps, while I personally love purple/orange color schemes, just needs a different color palette. Maybe they could switch out his purple with Jabali's turquoise since that color looks good with the shade of beige on Kyps' suit. The turquoise could also help emphasize his robotic/metallic nature. Their voice acting and gameplay is another problems but baby steps here lmfao

[@FrenchyMcToast]

I did an experiment and showed my friends the roster and asked them to identify the "fire person." No one got it right. Then I followed it up with who is the "rocket launcher person," and only one got it right within 3 tries. More than half of them, unprompted, identified Daveers' helmet as an upside down mop bucket. None of them knew anything about Concord before we started.

[@bldwldr]

“Woke is ruining games” is the most npc ass I download my opinion from the internet ass take. This game would not suddenly work if you replaced every character with a different flavor of monster energy man. I think the real frustration behind the take is with the inauthenticity of it all. I mean, a lot of these triple a titles struggle with the whedonisms, the inability to commit to a tone, the insufferable irony, etc. and that’s so fucking annoying it’s actually completely unbearable. But if you’re a little gamer duckling, and you don’t know why you feel this way, and some bigger gamer comes along and tells you it’s because the west has fallen or whatever, you believe that gamer. Simply because that’s the first gamer you met who has any kind of answer.

[@Seandeclanpatrick]

It's particularly funny with this kind of problem because it's like... You think LESS diversity would fix this roster? You think a hero shooter, where the appeal is for everyone to find a character that suits them, should be LACKING diversity? I'd call them idiots but that would be taking their complaints at face value.

[@KeDe1606]

I know people‘ve harked on this point more than enough, but I‘m still absolutely baffled by the „west = bad/broke/failing because woke; east = perfect because not woke“ narrative. Not just because of the obvious point that there are plenty of „woke“ eastern games out there (you could literally just grab five random games out of a bag, and you would be able to find some scathing critiques of modern capitalism/industrialism/colonization etc. in there, but I guess it’s not the right kind of „woke“, so these idiots don’t notice), but because western games, even the „woke“ ones, are still plenty successful. Before Blizzard decided to start a smear campaign against their own reputation, Overwatch was basically the frontman for an entire genre of games. And it’s diverse cast was one of it‘s main appeals, even if said diversity was smeared with corporate greed. Same can be said about games like League of Legends as well. And every year, when people start talking about what the best/most successful game of the year was, western games are always a part of the conversation. Again, I‘m just very confused by all this

[@t.dmattocks6119]

​@@KeDe1606There is nothing to be confused by. The people that say this shit either don't care about video games as much as they wanna push a narrative, or they parrot the talking points of the former group.

[@KeDe1606]

@@t.dmattocks6119 I know that, but I think there’s still some small part in me that’s like „surely there must be some grander reason for why they’re doing this“. It’s the same thing for when you hear someone say something vaguely xenophobic, and you think that they only said that because they just didn’t know any better, only for them to quadruple-down on it the second someone dares to reply to them. I‘m probably just being naive. I‘ve been baited by that scenario I just described way more times that I can count. I should know better at this point, but still. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed whenever I see something like that

[@scottysbottom5769]

Scolding is the only kind of wokeness ppl hate. You ppl are being rly dishonest by pretending it’s about capitalism, diversity or colonialism. Especially when ppl with your beliefs are the least diverse group of ppl ever.

[@orangeblaster500]

It really bug me how misleading the designs are. What part of Raymar’s design screams “crossbow user?” She has fucking fire powers, why would she ever even need one? EDIT: She doesn’t even use it in the cinematic!

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Because you need a crossbow guy, and nobody else had one, of course!

[@TheMightyMcClaw]

Duchess had me momentarily excited for a character who broke the dialog curse, but even the regal old lady still had the personality of Sonic the Hedgehog.

[@toxicdermyillunary4103]

I realize something with Concord.... They hate the color black and white. Idk why but they NEED to have color. But at the same time they play "safe" with said color. Rarely they ever have the color pop to stimulate your eyes. It's all rather dim but also not neutral. none of the character color make me feel anything so the only way I can judge Concord design is through their accessory. which is why the spy and the pink glasses guy (yes idk their name) are my "best" pick on design. They are the few ones that doesn't put me to sleep.

[@johnrivers3813]

Emari's character design is giving me red flags

[@RJPsabong]

19:30, sound like early 2015 cod showcase voices, kinda makes sense with the 8-9 year development

[@LotteBlueJays]

They were not recording voice lines for this game 8 years ago. The studio that made the game is only 6 years old anyway so "8 years of development" is already a half-truth at most.

[@sidewinder2716]

Lennox sounds like such a dork. You can't make a cool gunslinger such a boring dork. At least Billy has style while being a dork.

[@Tomwithnonumbers]

Teo takes paintball too seriously on corporate away days, but pretends he doesn't

[@iannordin5250]

Miyazaki famously said a lot of modern anime fails because it's written by otakus who are contemptuous of people, don't interract with people, and only engage with humanity through recycled character tropes. The Concord writing seems like it was very much made by the western, Corpo-equivalent of those otaku.

[@kaarpiv375]

Okay so I'm not crazy for calling these shopkeeper/questgiver designs.

[@Telekrus]

It makes sense you're talking about Concord. We know you're into games that don't exist.

[@Globox2004]

They all look like background characters from Guardians of the Galaxy movies.

[@gl00myb34r]

reminds me of when i briefly worked at sega and all of this is reminding me of hyenas and how it got cancelled cuz the higher-ups are dumb wanting an overwatch clone and therefore wasted so much creative output (tho honestly it basically was just overwatch: first suicide squad movie edition)

[@Tzilandi]

The Hyenas characters were really bad too, I recall. Honestly, when one of your BEST character designs is one of the bank robbers from the 1991 movie "Point Break", you've done something wrong.

[@gentriggerTTRPG]

The combat flips at first seem interesting but then every other character has it and it's like "Daring today aren't we?" whenever it comes up again

[@bigd8122]

In the cinematic trailer, when the villain drops the tablet thing and it sounds like it's talking in an unintelligible robot language but they still beep when it apparently swears was actually funny.

[@kumicables]

all of the characters have different pitch, resonance, and vocal weight, but its the same person talking

[@clownsingularity]

49:48 it could also be that the voice director didnt know what to do with them(which im willing to bet is the problem given its every character), people are to quick to blame the voice actors just because their name’s at the forefront, which isnt to say that voice actor cant be the problem but it’s usually what people blame first and foremost for a bad performance.

[@anjetto1]

"Never seen a failure as catastrophic as that?" Patch. We're both Irish. We BOTH lived through Thatcher.

[@Frank_Costanzas_Lawyer]

I didn't know they made a game out of Guardians of the Galaxy background extras.

[@GhengisJohn]

Teo looks like a dude that walked out of a low budget sci-fi movie from the mid 90's to the early 2000's. Which boggles the mind. This existed in a computer, you could have created anything in there I imagine, and yet you have this dude who looks like he's wearing sports equipment that's trying to look like future armor. Like he was in a midway arcade game from the 90's. It's a feat, in a way. These trailers are also interesting. They're like soda with artificial sweeteners. Like, effort was put in but they still feel incomplete. Something is missing.