GOOD CHILDREN: Episode 4: Locked In The Closet

[@woot.raptor]

"why was middle school treated like the marines?" absolutely SENT me to the stratosphere because LITERALLY WHY???? I'm so obsessed with y'all I'm so glad I found this pod

[@venusworship]

i love this podcast, the old photos and video clips you share are SO perfect and priceless! y’all make me wish i met my bestie earlier than college!! as a child lesbian obsessed with neopets i deeply respect the webkinz love lol

[@GoodChildrenPod]

😭😭😭😭😭 thank you

[@rafi5333]

This is such an enjoyable podcasts please make the episodes longer we need more!! Missed u guys last week FEED US

[@GoodChildrenPod]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

[@idab6864]

I cannot get over how good this podcast is. The fact that you guys have footage of nearly every single memory you reference is truly golden. Never stop doing this please 💌

[@rachelweiss9870]

Andrew getting a 20 on his fossils quiz so relatable

[@GoodChildrenPod]

his flop era

[@dancap4050]

Four episodes in and this is the first time I’ve noticed that Andrew sounds like Lola from Big Mouth 🤣 Love the pod! Can’t wait for the next one

[@GoodChildrenPod]

PubLIZity was a major influence on us as teenagers

[@luismoreno9005]

“Get tested right now” i SPIT out my water LMFAO 😂

[@suggs427]

This is my newest obsession. Found y’all on tiktok and binged every episode back to back. I agree with others, please make these longer! I literally laugh out loud multiple times while listening, and as an avid podcast listener- that doesn’t ever happen. I love you!

[@GoodChildrenPod]

THANK YOU

[@nikifarello1517]

The way these two LIVE IN MY BRAIN. Why was every single aspect of their childhood experience the same as mine (besides me being a straight female). Tears shooting out of my eyeballs from laughter I love you guys🫶🏼

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@KayMarieee123]

LOLOL, I can’t with the yearbook story. When I was in 5th grade we made our own “yearbooks” in class and not enough people signed mine, so I wrote in it pretending that different celebrities signed it 😂

[@GoodChildrenPod]

this is SO joe of you

[@gissellepaz2116]

Joe, I’ve followed you on Twitter FOREVER and I knew someday your witty brain would create something great…Every single day i listen to as many episodes of this podcast as I can. I love you guys & I can’t to see how far you make it. Good Children the TV Show 2024.

[@kelseeebelseee]

Ahhh I wish these were longer!! I look forward to these so much 😵‍💫

[@avacake6600]

the pacer test audio triggered my fight or flight

[@GoodChildrenPod]

SORRY😭😭😭

[@lincolnb2244]

“The Pacer Test was our generations Hunger Games”

[@GoodChildrenPod]

no it's true

[@lincolnb2244]

@@GoodChildrenPod love u guys so much

[@AmyRandazzo]

I legitimately howl listening to y'all omg bless

[@zakuhree1641]

I LOVE YOU GUYS. Im 18, came out my senior year of highschool as gay, and I relate to your humor and upbringing so much❤️❤️

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@Jack-xq1eq]

DROP EVERYTHING NOW! GOOD CHILDREN JUST POSTED

[@GoodChildrenPod]

ok Taylor Nation!!!!!

[@jeremymcfarland4243]

Yessss! I missed y'all last week TT Looking forward to the next episode~~

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@sillyrabbit4033]

the speech impediment and the traumatic first grade experience... it’s actually scary how real you guys are

[@isabelroemer]

I’m such a Joe for never being a cheater or condoning cheating in elementary school

[@adameli1210]

genuinely, new favorite podcast

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@roseghould]

I gasped when I saw this in my sub box it feels like it's been forever lol

[@GoodChildrenPod]

The GOOD news is: NEW episodes every week for the next TWENTY WEEKS.

[@isubizu]

such a future class president move giving the new kid the cupcake job

[@GoodChildrenPod]

always a politician

[@mollytaylor2640]

this episode is my favourite yet, i’m 18 and EVERYTHING is so relatable i cant

[@michaelcurtin4668]

Yay been looking forward to this all week!!

[@michelle7058]

my anxiety as a child escalated ten fold running for the Vp position & then getting bullied by the boys in my class bc "a girl can't be a VP" but my mom made me buttons and I won even though I was in speech therapy & could hardly speak LOL. then all I remember past that is Andrew and I sitting at that table by the closet eating dunkaroos and I think that's the only executive decision we made

[@michelle7058]

ok I'm also cracking up bc we DID play games in speech with ms morano(?), they would literally embarrassingly PULL US FROM CLASS awkwardly for speech therapy

[@GoodChildrenPod]

@@michelle7058 MS. MORVAYYYY!!!!

[@GoodChildrenPod]

you were an incredible VP and i honestly don't even remember your speech journey! i understood every word -J

[@brittneyrisher1946]

I found you guys on tik tok, and I’m absolutely obsessed. Didn’t sleep until 5am finishing all the episodes. Everything is so relatable I feel like I’m apart of this friendship and we’ve all been friends since we were five lmfao. Never stop you beautiful babes ❣️

[@brittneyrisher1946]

Also I usually fucking hate podcasts but you changed that and I’m grateful 😂❣️

[@alejandrom0725]

Yaaasss y’all are back! Happy Pride! My notes for this episode: -Joe, can we hear the presidency primaries speech rap? Is that something you still remember? ‘Cause I need it asap. -Andrew, can we get Good Children shirts that say “I hope you turn out happy”. I would wear her everydayyyyy. Lastly, I was in drama from 7th-12th grade and I can validate the wild play parties. Thats where the real overture happened, if y’know what I mean.. Anyway. I love y’all so much and forever. And y’all are both adorable and hilarious and did I say I love y’all? I do. Can’t wait for the next episode.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

omg alejandro with the NOTES!!!!!! - i have completely forgotten every single word of the rap thankfully - the way we both cried at this merch concept... so cute and definitely should happen down the line!!! THE PLAY PARTIES WERE NOT OK! Thank you so much for your comments/support we really love you so much

[@jakeloucks2377]

“My bully is in prison” gives me life. Because mine are 2 hahahah.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

our joint slay

[@hannahdelaney8577]

I actually can’t believe the cash of videos and pictures you guys have from growing up together and it literally makes it SO GOOD!! I love u guys 🥳🤪

[@shotputndisc]

As a 27 y/o prior "good kid" turned monster, I'm obsessed. Have listened through all the episodes twice at this point. I'm insatiable.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

thank you SO much!!

[@peachyjjarred]

Im going to binge all the videos I’m excited for the challenge

[@rachelholland7891]

best part of the week

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@thelovelymadbs]

I have been meaning to watch the full episodes of your show for a while and am now catching up and OMG I have been laughing out loud wheezing you guys are so fantastic and relatable - sincerely, a former good child who passed out at a 5th grade diabetes assembly

[@MrAttacklama]

its the way im just binge watching this series one after the other Im OBSESSED

[@raven3536]

The pacer test was literally so traumatizing lmao. And for what?? 😂 Another banger ep! Thank you guys for the laughs!

[@GoodChildrenPod]

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!

[@hollym4592]

i live for your content i cant wait for you guys to pop tf off and be able to brag i was here early on :) keep doing what yall doing see you next week

[@GoodChildrenPod]

thank you 😭😭

[@metalicrobot66]

23:27 "i understood you" 🥺

[@HillbillyOkie]

Yall are such a breath of fresh air. Such good story telling! Really relatable with the middle school awkwardness 😂🥰🥰🥰 I LOVE YOU

[@GoodChildrenPod]

Thank you

[@sopeaAh]

This is my new favorite podcast

[@meredithwemhoff9270]

My parents made me take the ACT three times too. My stepdad drove me from Ohio to Pennsylvania on a Saturday to take it the second time. The third time I actually bumped up a few points.

[@BeLikeNexus]

The “I hope you turn out happy” merch would be iconic

[@kellylovett5530]

you two are my favorite people on the internet

[@HS-pm1ro]

“The pacer test was our generation’s hunger games.” 😂

[@OhHalloLeibe]

They changed my life

[@bayyinah9864]

Hey I came from the two idoit girls collab, When I tell you ,you guys are my new adhd obsession❤ I relate to sh1t so hard

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@luisvilla8372]

“Get tested right now…” Andrew: 😯 lmaooooo

[@GoodChildrenPod]

the coughing has to stop

[@picklechipps5632]

Waiting for the movie about y’all. This is too good

[@jessicamolina6680]

“Wait. I’m gonna die? I’m eight” 💀

[@NaughticalNuns]

LITERALLY i was talking the other day about how Wii Fit helped slaughter my self confidence as a middle schooler. i feel seen

[@christianvalentin-gladden1027]

Great podcast!!!

[@GoodChildrenPod]

Thank you!!

[@ohyeahladyk]

tbh props to young Andrew for #supportingwomen and rising above nepotism in this fierce political climate

[@montanaaaaaaa]

I truly love you both sm

[@GoodChildrenPod]

we love you

[@isabelroemer]

I would love to hear a remake of your performance of amazing grace matching suits and all please and thank youuuuu

[@alycialynromero]

Joe, when did you notice your speech starting to improve i only ask because my brother is going through the same thing right now and it’s nice to know that it gets better!- Love the podcast♥️

[@BeLikeNexus]

I FAINTED IN HEALTH CLASS TOO!

[@stas563]

17:50 tag yourself I was one of the theater kids hooking up around the theater department (we had a bed above the auditorium too wtf!!)

[@itsthekkp]

The way I am reliving my childhood trauma through the podcast

[@cheekynandosss581]

The closet story 😭 I’m so sorry that happened Andrew! What kind of fkn teacher.

[@ellexarden]

i just SCREAMED i can’t believe someone else was on the webkinz forum and remembers it… i almost completely forgot about that, that was my first like social media site 😭

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@BeautyConfidence101]

im stoned but I actually pissed my pants, yall are so funny. I feel like im just hanging with my besties.

[@Sabrina45678]

I was no stranger to the nurses office but I’ve never in my life heard of someone getting a salt water gurgle from there. Was she just putting packets of salt from the lunch room into a styrofoam cup filled with water-fountain water that probably contained more bacteria than what was ever in your throat??

[@GoodChildrenPod]

that's exactly what i'm saying this is ABNORMAL behavior

[@OhHalloLeibe]

They need a tv show

[@robguerrero9629]

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE SALT GARGLE. Literally the nurse would pull out a costco size can of morton’s salt out of the cabinet and you would fill up a dixie cup of water, mix the two together and go to town. Looking back at it I’m pretty sure this was all just a placebo effect created by the society of school nurses, but i came back everytime to that nurse office for that salt gargle and left feeling like I could hit a mariah carey note and not knowing that it was mono the whole time.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

not the whistle tones 😭

[@MrAttacklama]

omg i took my SAT twice and got the same score both times!!! I was MAD

[@victoria-e]

omg thank god I got scared when there wasn't one last Wednesday lmao

[@GoodChildrenPod]

we're back and we're not going anywhere!

[@annelisedahlin6689]

The only celebrities I wanna meet in person

[@ThirdEdit]

im with joe, i would've been so mad if my bestie didn't choose me for campaign manager 😭

[@juliancarli7509]

The condoms were probably for the mic packs lol

[@kschemenauer]

Schools don’t really have nurses like that anymore… very sad :/

[@gorbsnorb]

Hey loves ❤️‍🔥

[@whoofman2013]

My bully ended up in prison and then when he got out he was murdered. Sucked to be him.

[@HS-pm1ro]

Omfg the closet story

[@rosabelle710]

When my wii fit age was like 48 at 10 years old 🫠

[@kalynnhernandez2861]

I’m disappointed that when they were discussing the sex everyone was having and they said ‘auditorium’ that the PrOjEctioN Room ABoVe the Auditorium didn’t come up.

[@lalala9268]

So we thinking Andrew removes one shirt button each episode?

[@GoodChildrenPod]

no it's getting ridiculous

[@twintwinks1047]

Gurl what's the politican lol

[@GoodChildrenPod]

girl watch the episode

[@scarletta3366]

I’ve never felt more seen 🥲♥️

[@__MC__MC__]

Just a hot tip, the mics you’re using pickup sound on the front of them rather that the top. So you might try angling them the opposite way. 🤍🤍