Goodbye hustle culture, hello to "enough"

[@trixieandthenest]

Amen! I left FB / IG for good in the spring. I don’t miss it at all- and am embracing the Joy Of Missing Out- JOMO!!! 😂

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

Yes, I have almost entirely left Facebook and I never liked Instagram much anyway. Ditto for Twitter and TikTok. I am liking Threads, I must admit, but I went through a weeks-long conversation with myself about whether it was actually adding value or not before I decided to start using it...and we'll see if it stays pleasant. I'm really getting particular about social media instead of trying to spread myself around in places I don't even like!

[@celisewillis]

JOMO, I love that!

[@anneferguson4273]

After Jim Carrey retired from acting he said something that I thought was profound. He said, "I have enough. I've done enough. I am enough." I retired after more than 50 years of working and I revisit Jim's phrase to give myself permission to enjoy retirement and not worry about doing enough. If a younger person is still working they could substitute "I do enough" to be satisfied with a certain level of achievement and not try to constantly work.

[@ValeVin]

I think you're right that burnout culture is everywhere, but America does some things that make it worse here. My husband used to work at a company that had a Berlin branch, and working closely with them caused the US branch to loose employees (to the Berlin branch or otherwise) because they kept trying to get ahold of people in Germany who were out on vacation. Which led to things like "But he was sick in January and took time for Christmas, he should be entirely out of sick and vacation days for the year." Then they'd find out that sick days aren't the same as vacation days in Germany, plus just how much required time off they have there. The US company's branch wasn't bad for an American company, but having to work with someone who got real time off made it unbearable, I think. They just couldn't stay staffed.

[@celisewillis]

The same thing happens on a smaller scale in the US with union vs non-union companies! Bento Box has a branch in Los Angeles (union) and Atlanta (not). Union workers get two pensions, a 401k, sick time and paid overtime. Atlanta gets half the pay with zero benefits. Atlanta tries VERY HARD to keep their workers from interacting with Los Angeles 😢

[@teresachaotic.corner]

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by the weight of an endless to-do list and then guilt for not doing everything on said list. I wouldn't say I've ever had a hit book that jump started my career and gave me $1 mill year or even a 6 figure year, but I did have one title that did better than all the rest... and I feel sad that I couldn't take the time when it was hot to give myself a pat on the back because my eyes were always on the next horizon. Or I even minimized the accomplishment "why couldn't I do better?" I'm slowly trying to undo this hustle culture mentality and appreciate even 1 book sale. Like today, I sold a title that really hasn't had any sales in months and that one sale made me so happy:) ❤

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

I can't really even say I've had one book, it was more like...writing a gazillion books and having a couple of them pop off along with having a lot of other books to sell whenever I had a hit. So tiring and yes, I always had my eyes on the next thing and didn't always appreciate the moment.

[@teresachaotic.corner]

​@@lidiyafoxgloveauthor I think it's all just a matter of consistency... chipping away at the grindstone writing book after book until there's a hit, and then all the other books get hoisted up by the success of that one hit... then grinding away again during the dip in hope of uncovering another hit. But how to do this without majorly burning yourself out? Maybe we should call this the 'slow hustle' to indie success😅

[@authorkiterafrey]

"That First Kiss of Fall" would be a really good book title.

[@thelitnerd]

I swear you are the most sensible and level headed person on KZbin

[@TheDarqProject]

The "I'll rest when I'm dead" mentality is so real, and so pervasive. I work a regular job 30-36 hours weekly, and do all this online writing/side hustle stuff another 4-5 hours daily. Plus taking care of my apartment and cats. And I'm a single mom with two kids... Trying to shut your brain off and have guilt-free time to rest is SO hard. And that's so ridiculous, but it simply... is.

[@i.b.640]

I think because of this guilt and shame people invented fishing that doesn't Feed you. You are totally doing something and not just sitting around staring at a body oder water!

[@celisewillis]

Woah girl, do you sleep?? I hope you get regular space to rest!

[@TheDarqProject]

@celisewillis Not as often or long as I should, and not very well. 😅

[@i.b.640]

European here. We are in a weird middle place, at least in my circle. So wellness, Rest and creative pauses and "selfcare" is given a lot of lip Service, but at the same time you should be successful. And busy. Being busy Shows you are important. So if you are working or cleaning your home you feel guilty because you should Rest, Meditate for a gazillion hours, go for walks around the moon and sleep enough and engage in selfcare for an amount of time only the independently wealthy can afford, but if you finally do all this - you should be buuuuusy and get things done

[@constancecampbell4610]

I had to laugh when you said you were bad at meditating. Reminded me of my own straining first attempts. I told someone that I was “working so hard at meditation” and they burst out laughing at me. So, I relaxed and just let my mind do its thing, then I did my meditative thing, etc, etc. It does get more natural after time, but it is always something you practice, never a thing to conquer or be perfected. 🦋

[@celisewillis]

Yes, it's more like exercise, where if it's been a bit, you'll need to "get back into shape". I did regular meditation at least once a day for 5-15 min for two years, and I had that QUIET mind! I got out of the habit over the lockdown, and now I have a buzzy mind again 😅 nothing doing but to start practicing again!

[@constancecampbell4610]

@@celisewillis Good for you! Happy exercising. 🤗

[@apocketfulofink]

I moved from southern Europe to the Midwest, and the change in mindset towards work is real. Even when you try not to succumb to it, it's there lingering in the back of your head. I think and stress about work way more now than back home and it has really contributed to my burn out. Relaxing, slowing down and taking time off feel more difficult to do without creeping guilt and worries.

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

Do you think it's more from practical reasons like lack of a social safety net, or the cultural mindset? Or do they just feed each other? I always find it so fascinating how much culture can affect our personalities or choices.

[@apocketfulofink]

@@lidiyafoxgloveauthor I think it could be a bit of both, as without a social safety net and long term friendships an immigrant needs to fend for themselves so getting all into work is the easiest way to build an emergency fund and feel more secure, but the cultural part has also a big influence. My American husband is always talking about how to get a strong retirement plan so we can move back to Europe, and overworks himself in his physically demanding job. My coworkers are doing a ton of overtime and talking about either this job, the job they're going to apply to, or their plans to go back to school and how they will finance that. The company I work for is constantly talking about our company culture, the employees' hard work, the importance of believing in the mission, and asking everybody their 1000%. Everything revolves around money, working hard, earning more, even if you try to stay more laid back, it just gets into your brain.

[@cherishoneal9108]

“I want to reclaim my thoughts and time…” that’s what I’m talking about!

[@salmason4022]

I think that Europe has the luxury of a stronger social net than the US, which in turn makes it less of a hustle culture. We don't worry about homelessness because we lost our job or go bankrupt because we got sick and couldn't work for a month (or have huge insurance co-pays). Law are more employee friendly with vacation mandates and overtime limits. That helps with work-life balance.

[@celisewillis]

So jealous! I'm tired of worrying about losing everything. Poverty trauma is real, and it eats at you even when you're okay financially😢

[@jeanshelbybooks4154]

I REALLY appreciate this video. I realized a couple weeks ago that I could work every hour of the day and still feel like I’m behind or not doing enough. It’s such a peaceful thought to remind ourselves that we are doing enough if we keep progressing with our writing, even if that’s an hour a day.

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

One thing I've slowly been realizing in a deeper way as I get older is that it will never feel like enough unless you work on your mental state.

[@jeanshelbybooks4154]

Very good advice! It’s something I’ve been working on, to be happy where I am and realize I’m enough.

[@HerSpeak]

This video made my shoulders drop. 💖💖 It felt so good I listened to it twice. 😆Thank you for being honest and sharing your insights. You are appreciated!

[@therealannataylor]

Barely half a second in and I have to comment- I’m in interior Alaska and Monday (8/12) I felt the first definitive “this is autumn” vibe. It was rainy, but it wasn’t summer rainy feeling. The trees are turning, the air is crisp, the smell is changing. As somebody who doesn’t do well with summertime, I. Am. Delighted.

[@charmedvenuss]

I think in the US "hustle culture" is a rebrand and worsening of the myth of a "good work ethic". Most people in my life even before social media accused me of not having a good work ethic because I wasn't willing to hurt myself working for them.

[@hughtrevor-flopper3214]

South-Eastern Europe: quit a regular job, moved from city to a sleepy town, avoided social media, - and I still feel the pressure to achieve and to do things all day long. It's as if it's spreading through the air. Question: "Can we quit it?" Answer in three stories: One) A few years ago the anthropologist Alan Macfarlane asked his colleague who's just returned from China, what is her main impression from England a couple of weeks after the return? She answered that life in China is so busy, so hectic, that England feels like a land of calm. Two) A British music journalist named Paul moved to Serbia to run a record shop - and settle there for life. "Why he left London for Belgrade Serbia" is the title of a youtube video where he explains that in comparison with England, life in Serbia is so much more relaxed. Story three: It is economist Michael Hudson's story, the story of how this all came to be. And what are the only two possible exits.

[@tatli3630]

As someone who lived in both Serbia and England, I really can't relate to Paul :D It just goes to show how one size doesn't fit all!

[@celisewillis]

​@@tatli3630what were the differences you noticed? Haven't visited either country 👀

[@sophiemichel8045]

I always had the feeling in the states people live to work, but as inflation gets worse, it’s definitely something spreading worldwide. And I would say that here in Germany it’s very dependent on your income. Growing up in a low income, single mom with four kids household, working continuously and hustling was the only way to make ends meet. For me personally I realised that I have less patience for the grind with every new job. Working 10 hours shift for 2 weeks straight, sometimes without weekends, or doing overtime, because there aren’t enough people is something I‘m done with and I‘m only 27. But I also know I‘m privileged in that regard, because I was able to make conscious choices to keep my living expenses low. If I had children or were trapped in a living situation where I couldn’t save, so I could move to a better place, I would probably still be grinding.

[@trf4653]

THANK YOU! Your videos are so soothing and uplifting for me. I really like what you said about being able to let fo when the season has changed.

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

Thank you so much! It's always nice to know when something resonates!

[@ClaireKinmil]

I'm struggling with this as well. "Slow Productivity" by Cal Newport is helping me a lot to slow things down (and feel better as a side effect).

[@yelenafigueroa2497]

Thank you for this video. I've been feeling the same way for the past several months. What do I really want and does it require the endless hustle or do I already have what I need to be happy and content? ❤ Here is to the quiet and relaxed happiness!

[@TinaWiman]

So wholesome! You go (rest!)!

[@absolutetwaddle]

I’m also so ready for fall 🍂🍁 I just loathe heat, humidity and insects so summer is my least favorite time of year. I write and read way more in the fall and winter

[@RosemaryDanielis]

Well said! Thank you for this wonderful reminder.

[@BooksForever]

For a decade or more I’ve had quite enough of hacks, hustle, crypto, and bro culture. Like plutonium, the first atom of each was more than enough for me.

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

Yes...and the femme side of the same too. I don't like to yuck on anyone else's vibe. Just, for a little while it just felt like there was soooo much of this particular social media lady who doesn't have a hair out of place, lives in a white room with one shelf and a beautiful houseplant, is wearing leggings and I presume is always doing yoga and probably runs an MLM and she's everywhere even when you're not looking for her... 🫣

[@celisewillis]

crypto, nfts, and genAI bros are all basically digital beanie baby collectors, they just don't want to admit it 😅

[@BodarkZuluYT]

I also have this feeling. I just want enough.

[@smeastwest]

YES! This is my goal, too! I love our little chats. 😄

[@anitaberg9838]

Lol your quote on lack of ambition could save life's nowadays😅

[@benpayne677]

The fall is great. The difference in the color and length of clothing combined with standing in the shade or sun can be the difference between to warm and a little chilly.

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

Fall is the beeeeeeesssssttttt. I can't wait to frolic at the Biltmore Estate dressed like an Edwardian again!

[@michaelauer7543]

Edit: Potential is a two-edged Word, because it always suggest a better or more to be out there and it can diminish past achievements. Our Minds are made to imagine the impossible so we can bridge the gap to the improbable. But we can always imagine more and better, which can be a good thing. Getting the dosage right for myself is one of life's tensions to be ever explored but never solved.

[@ladycass2]

Thanks for this video Lidiya! Really needed this right now as I struggle with trying to fit my creative work around my day job. ❤

[@mellieg.7543]

From the experience of someone who has several Canadian friends and relatives they definitely have a hustle culture there as well. can't speak beyond that however.

[@yelenamijares7821]

It's funny that maternity leave was lumped together as vacation. Alas, I wish it was so.

[@cherryblossom8061]

I think the concept of "Ikigai" is worth looking into in relation to your reframing process!

[@schoolneverteach]

Glad to hear your ideal day is spent reading. Mine's spent netflixing!😅 Not so literary but equally restful. Glad to discover your channel!🎉❤

[@katarzynakawecka6464]

I will watch this video thousands times in the future 🎉

[@linseybachko4470]

When I started my business a few years back, one of the best pieces of advice I got was to only pursue the growth for the business that also grew my joy/happiness. I had so many people say “you should …” but none of those things interested me so I didn’t pursue them (ie wholesale for my jewelry, galleries for my art, etc). I wasn’t looking to get rich, I wanted to keep funding my art and pay a few of our monthly bills, but no one seemed to understand that.

[@paintedbybooks9477]

I am definitely a bookish person who loves the summer lol, I understand it can get pretty humid/hot out though 😆

[@Mongoly8]

I wish I could tell my dad this. he keeps pursing ventures that will "make money" and burning himself out for no reason and little result when financially my parents are in a very stable place outside of these ventures. I hope that he will come to the realization for himself because any prodding on my part would just backfire...

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

I watch Ramit Sethi's money channel where he talks to couples about their finances and this scenario comes up a LOT. One of the recent episodes had a couple that is maintaining a rental property that is just breaking even. The wife doesn't want to sell it because it's "an investment". But breaking even on a rental property is not a very good investment!

[@Maryvanni81]

Just here to say that we have travelled a very similar creative path, although I am a painter. I too am arriving at similar conclusions and it’s certainly nice to feel less alone. Thank you!

[@lidiyafoxgloveauthor]

I'm glad there are so many visual artists here too. We're all in it together!

[@NettieFIRE]

I heard a comment last week and since it keeps cropping up (in my memory and the wider world). The quote …. “Enough is plenty”. How reassuring that has been! When I say it (and mean it) it has the same feeling as yoga or mediation deep breath (in the non-influencer way). 😂 There is definitely a season to ‘work hard’ and many a season to rest. I work hard now, to *not* skip ‘rest’.

[@catherineleslie-faye4302]

Thank you for the reminder!

[@morleywritesbooks]

dang it! I missed the premier D: "big enough hit" is the dream" Just enough tp pay the bills and i don't have to leave my farm lol Noise while filming is one of the biggest reasons i delay filming even short content😅

[@MissShembre]

My brain also doesn't shut up. I don't know what you meant exactly by meditation, but I have better luck with guided ones, so that I'm listening to someone verbally tell me to physically relax and breathe calmly.

[@DarniseMartin]

Resonate completely

[@lindacgrace2973]

Nope. NOT just American. Japan's work culture is so intense, people in the 1970s invented a word that translates to "death by overwork." "Karoshi," as it's known, involves employees committing suicide or suffering from heart failure and stroke because of long work hours. Interestingly, according to an international survey, only Mexicans are harder -working than the Japanese, but they suffer less. I suspect traditional family structures and broad support in Mexican culture makes the difference.

[@r33mickey]

☝️☝️☝️THIS! I've been processing the same kinds of thoughts about my life and work recently, so thanks for helping validate it with your calm and thoughtful way of speaking. I realized I used to identify a lot with being an "ambitious" person, and now I think I'm ready to let that go bc it's warping my life. Here's to the goal of having less ambition! Haha! 🎉

[@yuleham]

You’re amazing

[@bigbiggoblin2873]

Nice