Gooners need help

[@destinystetina595]

that has got to be the CRAZIEST AD I have ever heard in my life

[@tobiwonkanogy2975]

Global orgy is an off the chain plan. i wouldn't be able to buy and play in time but damn now I'm curious to hear about the aftermath.

[@GalGaleno-q5j]

I'm in shock state

[@tobiwonkanogy2975]

lol comment deleted , glo bal or gy is wild . waiting for results , too late to join in.

[@Wtfzipcode]

death battle used to be sponsered by boner pills, and this is still wilder lol

[@toastready3961]

I skipped to the end as I usually do for youtube sponsors, but when I was at the end I found myself in a state of shock. I'm too scared to go back

[@Spoopymare]

My jaw was underground during that ad

[@dylsenchanted]

i literally yelled "there is no way hes doing that" im crying

[@airy-xt7pn]

@@dylsenchantedSollux pfp,,

[@Super--Paper--Fox]

my jaw bone just fell out

[@massiveman4]

that was perhaps the biggest double take of my life

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

Seeing him on the same screen along to a nsfw VA and 2 nsfw content creators was absolutely wild, like, he was just standing there

[@frankvalentich5410]

Us Australians use the word goon to describe cheap boxed wine. They’ve taken the word from the true gooners: alcoholics

[@Howtoeatrocks]

Agreed. I don’t have a scar on my forehead from copping the plug playing goon of fortune for the Americans to twist it

[@joshc5613]

now back to my cup o' goon...

[@Flesh_Wizard]

I have a goon while I'm gooning

[@madsfiedler3884]

yea, yall have the grandfather on it id think

[@notchpoodles5864]

Speaking of Australia, no offense but as soon as I️ saw all those ppl at the “pokies” my Jordie hyperfixated brain was like “ah yes Australia”

[@takiallahjamai]

* hates on gooning * promotes gooning * refuses to elaborate further * leaves

[@icetide9411]

Kwite getting that sponsor was already funny, but by the end of the ad I don't know how to feel. Afraid, maybe.

[@imhalfhere]

Excited, even.

[@oliviab.9194]

​@@imhalfhere afraid of imhalfhere, perhaps.

[@levinskan]

Dare i say flabbergasted

[@CasperTheRamKnight]

disgusted a little bit

[@soupsop]

@@imhalfhere no just terror

[@anonymityy]

straight up 'jorking it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. My peanits.

[@peppermintspider]

benus

[@thonk1914]

This guy is in the stripped club

[@joshc5613]

@@thonk1914 who up watching kwite uploads in the stripped club straight up 'jorking it'

[@lastoftheliving27]

That came straight out of YIAY

[@G36C-556]

He has the born addition

[@Namberite]

If a villain calls their group of sidekicks ‘Goons’ would a Goon with Goons be called ‘The Gooner?’

[@NewSonyWonderHappyMadisonFan]

yes

[@glizzygobblegaming9520]

Undoubtedly

[@AziDoesQuestionableThings]

indubitably

[@Stillcrown239]

Sì!

[@FoolyFool48]

"the goonest"

[@ごま-r3v]

this is the craziest sponsor i have ever seen on anything ever and somehow it’s not exactly unexpected??

[@beywheelzhater8930]

This is truly the most kwite thing ever

[@itz_daniel7144]

@@ywer34552:19

[@verderain]

balarke got a sponsor just like this one aint no one safe fr😭😭☠☠

[@captain_khaos]

ok but the craziest part about it is that HES FUCKING HOSTING IT. Hes. HOSTING IT. some people out there are actually going to have e-(censored) with kwite over a sponsorship HOW IS NOBODY ELSE MENTIONING THAT PART.

[@beywheelzhater8930]

@@captain_khaos the next phase of the parasocial relationship, finally the Kwussy will be ours

[@JustFrogThings]

5:22 "kwite, who wears a floating hoodie, is a renowned expert in gooning" 😭😭

[@glassphoenix9095]

they dont know he IS the floating hoodie, smh fake fans

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@goldgamer11]

The irony of being sponsored by lovense is hilarious

[@glassphoenix9095]

this is the opposite of irony, lovense and gooning go together like bread and your favorite thing that you put on bread irony would be if he made a video about gooning and got sponsored by, like, a porn-addiction recovery service

[@lightnergamingz7375]

@@glassphoenix9095 No it's ironic because typically irony is a diversion of expectations and no-one expected Kwite to be sponsored by THE Gooning corporation on a video where he hates on gooning

[@funkysunky7840]

@@lightnergamingz7375where did he hate on gooning

[@sansansansansansansansansansa]

wow

[@shadocloud]

​@@lightnergamingz7375I don't think that he's hating on gooning in this vid

[@f1redr1ve]

5:21 seeing kwite's "mom I started the bed" looking ah model in between people who make actual corn is so funny 😭

[@elephantguy0790]

Well after this sponsor he may be joining their ranks

[@anitaremenarova6662]

@@elephantguy0790 I'm still waiting for that Kwite OF

[@Starjellybear]

THATS WHAT IM SAYIN LMAO

[@could_possiblybe_thane07echo]

*started*

[@CrabbChips]

​@@could_possiblybe_thane07echo the bed has been activated

[@Z25O]

"You guys seemed like to my other gooning video." That is a crazy sentence.

[@FederalBulgeInvestigator]

*The ad makes me sad because I live in Brazil and getting anything shipped here requires a blood sacrifice and a spare kidney, so I can't be part of it :(*

[@bricbrok5550]

Damn I pray for you

[@Sunkery_CD]

Federal Bulge Investigator, I think you shouldn't kill someone for a spare kidney and use them as a blood sacrifice. You don't need to do a orgy.

[@FederalBulgeInvestigator]

@@Sunkery_CD *Too late*

[@Sunkery_CD]

@@FederalBulgeInvestigator oh jeez.

[@brunnocomdoisn]

boa tarde

[@sillyswrdd]

Okay but the sponsorship ad is really fucking funny

[@Megapancake]

Ain’t no way he’s sponsored by Lovense💀💀💀

[@o.v.m._part_1]

Fitting 💀💀

[@ItsNotGravity]

Typical

[@IwasWater]

Bro finally got his Lovense sponsor after years of using their products on stream, so proud of you Kwite!

[@pepperbee_]

After years of WHAT

[@Super--Paper--Fox]

i'm sorry, WHAT!?

[@thatoneundertalefanatic]

Uh

[@GAMINGOBRIEN69]

YO

[@pepperbee_]

That's so disgusting. Source please. Now. For research.

[@Psiodyneee]

No you don't

[@potatoes869]

Yes I do

[@Luckyer2091-_-]

SHUT UP

[@Willrocs]

@@potatoes869but you don’t

[@nuked6929]

No you don't

[@codm22712]

@@Luckyer2091-_-yes u Shuold shut up

[@DripGokualt]

The sponser💀💀💀💀

[@CMan185]

like dawg advertising a vibrator is crazy enough but bros advertising an entire orgy 💀

[@cinnamuaroll]

a virtual orgy led by KWITE?? 💀💀

[@o.v.m._part_1]

💀💀💀💀

[@CMan185]

youtube is even censoring our comments about it 💀

[@Astro_weeeeee]

2:42 yall not the monetized group goon sesh

[@hannahleigh6152]

BRO IT'S HAPPENING ON MY BIRTHDAY TOO 😭😭😭

[@greeboman6592]

​@@hannahleigh6152 even more reason to join

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

​@@hannahleigh6152Present or curse?

[@thatoneundertalefanatic]

​@@hannahleigh6152 NO WAY LMAO

[@gemsineye]

@@hannahleigh6152eyyy birthday gang! Happy early birthday

[@curvingfyre6810]

I get it. The idea is that, as mainly psychological addictions, jorkin it, and gambling, are in many ways the same - and thus, the gambling addictions of the elderly are but the gooning addictions of the youth, seen through the lens of history.

[@ItsNotGravity]

Kwite is the only person who could actually pull that ad off without any questions

[@Imjustadork2]

“Yes Kwite” We all say simultaneously

[@Clownish.mp4]

yes kwite

[@mushroomy9899]

yes kwite

[@sadkermit1380]

no kwite (im a bad boy)

[@mossimations]

Oil up kwite (I'm badder boy)

[@ShengFink]

let’s bake a cake kwite (I’m a batter boy)

[@grahamwaldo331]

The Lovense ad was unexpected, but cool! I actually have one of their toys and I love it! I did misplace the charger for it when I moved, though😭. On a more serious note, you should ABSOLUTELY require age verification for anyone you send a pic to. Something as simple as a picture of their ID with a specific phrase written on a piece of paper next to it.

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

You don't have to expose yourself like that you know

[@onioncritter]

this is literally the only sane comment on this video

[@personita2.733]

@@Fermin-hw5pd you are watching the video about coomers with the sextoy orgy ad

[@olimacaroni7]

this is literally the second video ive ever watched from this man. the first one was him reading the zootopia abortion comic. 10/10 quality content

[@olimacaroni7]

in the way that i am mildly scared but cant stop watching

[@datcap6289]

soon your clothing will turn green and your soul queer and your mouth will form to that of a mask as well as your eyes sunglasses

[@spideygarf1]

​@@olimacaroni7the true kwite viewer experience

[@EngineerMonkeyBTD6]

You know, it disturbs me... Come (nice) May 25th, I am going to have this on the back of my mind. I won't be able to get it out of the back of my mind. The whole day will be full of me thinking "There are thousands of people getting vibed right now and there is nothing I can do about it." Having the knowledge is bothering me. It makes me all skeeved out and I don't know why.

[@Cheshire_Rose]

As a woman, I am jealous of those who can achieve this state.

[@Manelneedsaname]

If you can't beat them, join em

[@nicaaro]

The big question is wether he would drag them over a mile of broken glass because its through a walkie talkie or even though it's through a walkie talkie.

[@Ausvwidabix2blorange]

probably because it’s through.

[@horror3123]

I am the goon Queen. Everyday I wake up and goon. I goon on my way to school, I goon at dinner, I goon in my sleep. I goon, therefore I am.

[@FoolyFool48]

mf is the goon

[@vulpevulpevulpevulpevulpevulpe]

Great minds think alike.

[@ash.j-tg4re]

Gonito ergo sum

[@yaboiandrew2058]

@@ash.j-tg4reminime

[@dovahfruit9503]

​@@FoolyFool48this is mf goon

[@scubadiverxy6969]

bro thats the only add sponsor iv ever watched twice. genius advertising

[@MacNCheessAJ]

Aint no fucking way bro got sponsored by lovenese 😭 thats actually wild

[@o.v.m._part_1]

💀💀

[@Sylvia_Corvidev]

Best sponsorship in youtube history?

[@o.v.m._part_1]

Lmao

[@misty_fogT-T]

I can just imagine Kwite sloppily writing “Gooning 101” on his whiteboard before trudging over to his setup to record himself with a stark sigh, I wonder if he thought to himself before hitting the record button “how did I get here?”

[@Sunkery_CD]

Perchance.

[@captain_khaos]

he knows full well how he got here this was his GOAL

[@misty_fogT-T]

@@captain_khaos Fair point!

[@Biggi19]

Literally never seen a thing such as an online 0rgy being sponsored ever before but Kwite never fails to surprise me

[@winnielmao]

Just got back home after a rough day, at first I thought the ad was a bit or a fever dream. I can't stop fucking laughing y'all

[@apollo4950]

the absurdity of that sponsor segment is insane

[@SpikeyEnigma]

i didnt even know stuff like that existed 😭 sounds awkard asf

[@kiragamer7520]

⁠@@SpikeyEnigmaKILLER PFP?! brooo, i'm in wano act 2, i'm looking forward to seeing more of him and eustass 🙌

[@SpikeyEnigma]

@@kiragamer7520 Yeah its cool in wano but in egghead/post wano chapters? you'll probably stop liking kid and killer lol, no spoilers though

[@Mylenapony]

That is one wild sponsorship. Good on you.

[@thebestbananabreadouthere]

that ad is some of the funniest shit i've seen all day

[@chaotixstrwberry6314]

Never has an ad made me actually want to buy something so strongly before I'm practically fucking crying cause I'm broke as hell lmao

[@couchpotato9355]

Congratulations, Kwite. Nothing on the internet has left me speechless since 2019, but that sponsor, it had me quiet as a corpse. Godspeed, disembodied hoodie

[@jacksghost4471]

That ONE STRAND OF BLONDE HAIR IS JUST LOOKING AT ME, menacingly. Like seriously am I the ONLY one who sees that?

[@granadeofmetaldemons3099]

Wat?

[@dudemp4]

What

[@rainbowflowerpower4464]

Wait where?

[@knockknocknooneiscoming]

I just noticed it and....

[@tribble_omg]

I can’t see cause the camera is not focusing

[@ItzMeImAlive]

What the sponsor basically is just quite advertising his one time onlyfans

[@RomeyRambles]

I LEGITIMATELY CHOKED ON MY BREAKFAST BC OF THE AD HELPPPPP

[@rickdingenenzo]

I choked myself because of the ad it was too much

[@Helios8170]

Y'all into some weird stuff, sounds like the sponsor's right up your alley

[@lyali_3381]

This is one hell of a video. A Lovense sponsor, SaltyDKDan mention, all in a video about gooning?? I've gotta be tweaking

[@smolbrendan5978]

and a johnstone cameo appearance

[@ffawn]

OH MY GOD. I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS AD, THIS WILL FOLLOW ME IN MY DREAMS.

[@Benwut]

BRO. I DID NOT EVEN KNOW U COULD MAKE ADS LIKE THAT ON THIS PLATFORM 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@supersayianshrek5455]

Used to call my son a goon when he was up to no good. Now I gotta change it.

[@Ulaanbasaar]

Rapscallion

[@VibinGoomy]

Kwite, you say this as if you don’t actively goon to springtrap every millisecond of your life

[@Chalkled]

Start of ad 2:18 - 3:45 end of ad

[@boogeytime686]

Start of vd 0:00 - 14:11 end of vid

[@GalGaleno-q5j]

Thats the best ad i've ever seen

[@sockseater]

thanks for highlighting the best part

[@Chalkled]

@@sockseater np 🥵🔥🫠💀

[@IHaveNoIdea5555]

Why would you want to skip the funniest part

[@e.BE-441.4]

😭the sponsor has me giggling that's so funny

[@MorbusFreak2011]

Deftones have a song called Goon Squad. I went to their show last year and they were selling tshirts with that song title on it. I can't wear that shirt anymore.

[@sharksrcool22222]

thats even more reason to wear the shirt

[@leolion3323]

First sponsor to actually get me close (..im hilarious) to buying something in a long time. Hats off for that. Too bad that im a freak who can't spend money without feeling like i need to ask 5 people if its a good idea first. Cause that sort of doesn't work when the thing you want to buy is a sex toy and you dont have anyone you feel comfortable talking about sexuality with, especially when you're ace and people have all sorts of assumptions about what that means.

[@charliehaigh8161]

The first meme is truly a work of modern art. It draws a parallel between the vices of gambling and gooning. Furthermore, it represents how people who spent their entire life gooning loose themselves in the flashing lights of the digital age. Like a moth drawn to flame, they seek a forbidden sensation, ignoring all personal cost. That meme changed my life. It made me realize that I could replace my gooning addiction with a gambling addiction, which is way more socially acceptable. To the craftsman or woman or person who made that meme, I bow my head in gratitude.

[@rickdingenenzo]

I can confirm gambling is better, I'm about 1.48 million dollars in debt but worth it.

[@singingblueberry]

Had to pause after that ad to pick up the pieces of myself from the ground and put me back together

[@Im_just_a_banana]

We do NOT need help

[@desperado.racing]

I love that the comment below yours says "I do need help"

[@ZoraEpsilon571]

keep yapin gooner

[@picax8398]

yes you do

[@ThickRedPaste]

I need MORE material

[@picax8398]

@ThickRedPaste it's called therapy

[@alexreid1173]

The sponsor is so crazy but I also kinda want to do it. For the meme… I promise it’s for the meme

[@rickdingenenzo]

Bro is NOT doing it for the meme

[@antifurrydiplomat]

theres no fucking way bro got sponsored by LOVENSE💀💀💀💀

[@rainrunner2233]

4:28 the point edit has me entranced. It’s really well done. Good job

[@paopaosm]

As an individual suffering from ADHD I can confirm the backtrack song is driving me INSANEEEEEE.I think this was a strategy.I've researched the video 3 times already . Each time i get to the end of the video concluding "wtf did i watch" and proceed to rewatch it once more. Thanks Kwite, you're smart

[@Emdez]

Kudos to Kwite for reiterating that the people getting involved with this event need to be at least 18, adults! Unlike another man in a green hoodie…

[@J0hnzie]

Not Me already owning an Edge 2 for the long dist. Unironically, Lovense is a good brand. Easy setup, consistent and responsible app design. I own one, my prior partner owns one, and my current partners own multiple. They have all loved them.

[@S0ng_b3rd]

Being ace and watching Kwite is a wild experience

[@Sorry_i_eated_it]

Relatable😔☝️

[@necrocomicon8]

may 25th is my 21st birthday, i feel obligated to join now.

[@ItzMeImAlive]

Mine's tomorrow

[@froggymug7157]

It’s the day before my 19th birthday haha, lowkey tempted to join

[@EngineerMonkeyBTD6]

Happy birthday! There's your gift!

[@Numbers-gStands]

@@EngineerMonkeyBTD6 thanks engineer monkey

[@druidplayz2313]

​@EngineerMonkey-zp3yj holy its the engineer monkey from bloons tower defense 6

[@lio3554]

No way we got Kwite hosting an online 0rgy before GTA 6💀

[@rickdingenenzo]

WHEN IS GTA 6 COMING OUT I've been hearing this meme for so long now 😭

[@lio3554]

@@rickdingenenzo idk i think it's supposed to be released at the end of 2025 or smth

[@RaijinSozin]

I have incorrectly been using the term for so long. I mean DOING CRIMES. I'm not terminally online

[@Romanticoutlaw]

to be fair, it's entirely possible to turn it into a crime depending on when and where you do it

[@Smile12]

I just came from the video where Kwite got sponsored by Morgan and Morgan, and I thought "This has to be the weirdest AD he's ever, done right?" I am a fool

[@Mercury7.0]

I had to rewatch the video cause the ad at the beginning stunlocked me so hard I missed everything else in the video

[@officalcords]

I do need help

[@desperado.racing]

I love that the comment above your says "we do NOT need help"

[@Okay1]

Ok

[@sg21yt]

Hi kid goku

[@shizwhifgle]

I love when kwite fills our holes with his hot creamy steaming content

[@FrankieChicken]

For research somebody needs to record his portion of the license stream

[@ubiubi2717]

I must say, no other sponsor has had me stop drawing to stare at my screen, raising my eyebrows in surprise so hard that they hurt by the end of the ad read. On 'No swearing within 30 seconds of a video' youtube no less? That has probably got to be the most effective advertising I've *ever* seen, bravo

[@ph1zian932]

NOT KWITE PIMPING HI9MSELF OUT ON A VIDEO ABOUT GOONING

[@djfoxyvlogs1306]

The fact that I already knew the WHOLE definition of gooning because of the game grumps PFFT I was practically reading it out loud WITH him dude

[@idkanymore7729]

Me when- me- me when- me when your- me when you- me when your m- me when your mom-

[@hyacinth_enthusiast]

Don't bring her into this >:(

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

You know who else did my mom?

[@taylorclough8128]

Dude, I hate that lovense ALWAYS has sales. Like, they make good products, but the "Oh they're so generous!" thing coming from them selling their toys at the same price they always have really irks me. Like they're not confident enough in their own product to just sell it at "full price" and just lower that number. Anyone that reads this, you can go get a lovense now, or wait 3 months, it'll still be ~50% off by then. It was when I bought my Max 2 4 years ago, and it is now.

[@trashman11]

3:07 you know good and well that things not going to get to anyones door in 4 days

[@Y_WP]

The fact that this video is not age restricted with that sponsor😭

[@imperialguardsman5726]

0:08 it's prolly bc Oz Media called those gambling machines "boomer gooners" in one of his videos

[@monochu.]

5:12 did not think i’d see three of my favorite youtubers in one video, kwite, saltydkdan, and johnstone

[@random_scenegirl]

i can’t even watch the goonies without thinking about the new meaning ;-;

[@nullifyd]

i use to have a shirt that says "the goonies never say die" but lost it due to circumstances

[@daguy7631]

See, I was unsure if I should buy another Lovense for some time now, and now I definitely got some strange extra incentive.

[@J0hnzie]

'Gooners need help' and Lovense is here to do that.

[@alexandrossasibakas]

the bills cant be that high bro

[@blueaccelerator2674]

You've gotta lead with the specifications, Kwite. "Gooners need help" can mean so many things.

[@ossana913]

Not kidding, I had to take a second and pause the video during that sponsored segment. I just stood there, in the dark like that one alpha wolf image and I just asked myself « uh, what have we become… » no shame to does who participate, you do you. But it still is a little weird

[@theoriginalredbirdgamer3607]

that's it. I'm funna start my villain arc. imma be on some "humanity is unfit for survival" type beat. call me dio brando cuz sending yall to heaven. this shit ain't nothin to me man

[@_mearcat1844]

I can’t believe I’m about to admit this, but I was in the “community” before it was “popular”, and now that I’m out of it it’s very strange to see it become so popular lol

[@no0n34ta1l]

WERE YOU EDGING, OR WERE YOU GOONING?

[@ashermerrell1152]

I pray to god nobody ever finds this in my history

[@Cosmiiiiii]

NO I DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! AHHHHHH

[@callme_tj]

holy shit, how'd they set up that toy technology

[@zachm5485]

What a fucking ad, holy shit

[@pinkstraw427]

4:58 what have they done to my zigzagoon 😢 Also 5:14 one of my fav nuzlocke KZbinrs

[@Myder_Dragon]

Calling it. By next year "Kwite" will have an unironic onlyfan

[@fishfashfood]

“Y’all seemed to like my last gooning video”

[@magbinious]

NO FUCKING WAY THE TOYS GO OFF EVERYTIME SOMEONE POSTS WITH THE HASHTAG

[@Geliquenne]

Gooning being considered a meditative state impllies that there exists a goon nirvana.

[@callmelarebear]

what an atrocious sponsorship! how ludicrous! (i need him.)

[@Zenids]

a video about gooning is sponsored by lovense... makes sense

[@phantomaeon]

1:50 we all know who that is 😭😭😭😭😭

[@N3vvy_]

My jaw was absolutely ON THE FLOOR while watching that absolutely diabolical sponsor 😨 i feel like i should've expected this from kwite but somehow im still surprised

[@hugefanofnopeify]

i need him so badly

[@thetophatguyandroid5959]

As a non American the first time I learned the word goon was from Lego Batman where the basic criminal character was called just goon. Years later. Many years later. That image of this basic character gets destroyed by 4chan knowledge I didn't need and didn't even search for.

[@Dewyin]

6:17 This part i can relate to so much. Ever since i found out about Kaaatie before her most popular animation, i looked up and was in the community. Then, came those fans. R34 of Ms. Circle was everywhere. There were more young fans than before. And i feel like the sudden explosin of Fpe kinda ruined it for the "og" fans(?) But, that's how i feel. I may be taking this too seriously. And, if i am, I'm so sorry 😭🙏

[@Sunkery_CD]

I'm surprised there were even "og fans"